Tumgik
#it helps us even if you have 0 followers
dbphantom · 3 months
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Listen if you're gonna send me an ask about why I shouldn't interact with a person, can you at least do it off anon so I can request actual proof privately? I'm not replying to these since the only way to respond to them is publicly and I don't want to contribute to an unsubstantiated rumor about someone. That's not fair.
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worldiary · 2 years
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New people I've seen on Tumblr: 0
Posts I see complaining about new joiners to Tumblr: 300000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
#i get it#I'm a Tumblr old sitting in a very isolated corner of the site#so part of this is also like you-guys-are-<getting new followers>?.jpg#but the tone of some of these posts are so weird?#helping people understand how tumblr is more web1.0 than what they're used to and why that's wonderful is great#this tone of like YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH MY BLOG WRONG!!!#YOU ARE RUINING THE SITE BY INTERACTING WITH ME WRONG#when wrong doesnt even mean rude#it just means <you didnt reblog enough>#just doesn't land on me at all#like whatever#people can like however much they want#they dont owe you reblogs#you can explain why reblogs are even more valuable than retweets#and likes are really more like bookmarking something for yourself in a way that you'll never find later#but consider your tone#and how close is it to that Tumblr Finger Wagging tone that we take so often for very minor reasons on this site#and have so often made fun of#like in those guilt-trip posts about <wATch this IMPORtant nEws POSt GeT 0 NOtEs>#anyway those are my long-winded thoughts#maybe ill change my mind#who knows#just like...consider how you say things#and whether or not they'll get the reaction you want#Or if your goal isn't to get a point across#if your goal is to just make current Tumblr users feel good and superior for having more experience using the site#worldiary whispers#for a very long time#I'm using < instead of quotes sometimes because one of the kinds of quotes break tags and i dont remember which one#and its too late to find out now
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frodolives · 5 months
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
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👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
10,558 notes
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
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Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
82,170 notes
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🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
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🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
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I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
522 notes
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
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LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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transurgender · 10 months
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head in hands. i finally decided to build kaeya for reverse melt and. his best set is 4pc emblem. dies. explodes.
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I do kinda hope we get a sequel, it’d be nice to be able to talk about Lorabetta again
#smol has a vent#this aint as bad as my other vents but it's still a bit melancholy to go in my normal 'speaks' or fandom tag#cause like i dont wanna make out like 'oh the attentions not on ME im LEAVING this fandom' cause im not. but like.#it's one of my only fandoms ive ever truly been In. i made friends from it. i developed OCs for it. discussed the lore and game with others.#i was INTO it and made one of my favourite OCs ever. and people actually wanted to know about her!!!#people asked me about her!!! we made our OCs interact!!! thats not happened before!!#i finally felt like i was in a community! but of course things have lulled these last few months#which is only natural of course. people have their own lives and stuff to deal with they get into other fandoms its natural its normal.#the server aint fully dead most of us are still kinda there. i hope it picks up again at some point#but yeah no i finally drew a Lorabetta comic for Easter and i was PRAYING this might get more attention than the last one (which was 0)#cause i was following up a previous comic! one that got attention! i shared it in the server and....#nothing. no one cared i suppose. ik she's not like the Best or Most Popular OC in the fandom. i dont think she even registers#on a fandom-wide scale. but she matters to me. and it mattered that other people were interested. and that interest just...isnt there anymor#didnt help i nearly had her ruined for me over something i really shouldnt have got so upset about but i had no way of like assuaging#my worries so i lowkey spiralled a little bit so it left a sour taste in my mouth. another reason drawing her comic meant a lot to me#telling myself 'i still love her'. i want others to love her too. is that a lot to ask? maybe. ah well. such is life.#i reckon a sequel would also be very fun but i mostly do just want a reason to go back to Lorabetta. maybe Mollinda too#im sorry i left you by the wayside girls. and sorry to Lanabelle and Edithana for never developing you. but ya meant a lot to me. still do.#'wow shes apologising to her OCs thats so fuckin sad' yeah maybe but im a sensitive bitch me. its how im built lol
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brainrotdotorg · 4 months
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imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like
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🍏gatoridae Follow
Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.
Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.
🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow
counterpoint: fuit yucky
🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow
wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for
4,904 notes
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🌿swamp-ass Follow
asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........
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🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow
mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.
cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.
#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man
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⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow
You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"
🫑teethem Follow
Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.
🤢ch0mper Follow
we've all heard the what
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🩲gaytorrr Follow
this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake
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🏞daily-clawsitivity
✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.
mud-rocks-deactivated20140706
Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.
scalesssss-deactivated20150310
jesus christ calm down
alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709
Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.
Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.
stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911
crocs are like. like them shoes that float right
wetlandia898 Follow
i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.
bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412
welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.
🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow
omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash
🎍taildraggers Follow
Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr
🐊gator-heritage-posts
gator heritage post
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow
hgwiow h
hsfhjs
howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>
🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow
lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type
#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it
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🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow
am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I
🍖meet-eat3r Follow
there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.
🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow
i could have just hatched you don't know me.
20,570 notes
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🍀gatortears Follow
a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion
#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me
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👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow
I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.
🌾clawstothewalls Follow
okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.
👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow
Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.
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hacvek · 1 year
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🌑 nightmeows 🔁 dogfandomfandom Follow
clan-showdown-official-deactivated-80-0
Welcome to the Official Clan Showdown, an official tournament to decide the best clan of all! I'll be letting this run for a quarter-moon so hopefully cats from all corners of the forest can vote!
So let's settle this once and for all, through democracy rather than violence
which clan is the best?
ThunderClan ❚❚ 6.3%
WindClan ❚❚❚❚ 11.2%
RiverClan ❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ 33.6%
ShadowClan ❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ 20.3%
I'm a kittypet that just wants to press a button ❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ 28.6%
3384 votes · Poll ends in 1 day 890 birdsongs
🦇🔁 lichenlikehim Follow
windclan bros....
🍄🔁 shrewd-and-wondervole
Something's not adding up. Even discounting the kittypet option, there are way more voters than there are Clan cats.
⚡🔁 thunderclan-official Follow
there are numbers above 5?
🦁🔁 the-lionesse Follow
y'all i figured out why the vote counts are so high. sparrowsong from riverclan just went out and gave birth to fifty kits and signed them all up for clanblr accounts jkldfjslkfd
🪱🔁 wormdefender Follow
op is having a breakdown about thunderclan not winning btw
🐺🔁 dogfandom Follow
OP: here's a silly poll!
cats: get a little silly with it
OP: YOU HAVE COMMITTED VIOLENCE AGAINST ME AND MY MOTHER
#oh so this is what's going on #but where is the breakdown post #edit: i found it 2,349 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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🐸 dreamsofgreenleaf
here's how thunderclan can still win
#is this anything #mine 1 note ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
Oopsie! An error was encountered when reblogging. Try again? You've exceeded your daily post limit.
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🍄 shrewd-and-wondervole 🔁 the-lionesse Follow
Anonymous mewed: wait how did sparrowspong give birth to fifty kits at once
🦁 the-lionesse Follow
she slept with multiple toms. hope that helps.
#interesting #i didn't know that was possible! #bio tag 230 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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🪳 starclansfavoriteplaything 🔁 dirteater
Anonymous mewed: i found someone's mirrorleaf still logged into their clanblr at the gathering and voted for shadowclan. i'm not even a clan cat i just got lost while playing outside
🙀 clan-confessions
.
🪶🔁 pheasantcatcher Follow
anon is braver than any thunderclan warrior
🌿🔁 herbmother Follow
This is what StarClan wants for us. To do the right thing even when we won't get credit for it.
🪳🔁 starclansfavoriteplaything
RARE KITTYPET W
#YOU ARE THE REASON WE CANT HAVE PEACE #lmto [Editor's note: 'laughing my tail off'] 3,401 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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🕸️ foxtails 🔁 greencoughtiger Follow
🐭 mouse ✔️✔️
the winner is not shadowclan or riverclan or anyone else. the winner is voter fraud
#prev wtf you can't join clanblr until you're at least twelve moons of age 3,925 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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🪳 starclansfavoriteplaything 🔁 dirteater
🐈 freshkillz Follow
feeling lonely need me a she-cat with a mottled pelt and thick tail rn
🦋🔁 moon--moth Follow
not now the entirety of thunderclan was just murdered
#READ THE CAMP 129 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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🐸 dreamsofgreenleaf 🔁 mewsogyny Follow
purrzerk-deactivated-80-01m-04d mewed: You can't get pregnant with multiple litters at once. Talk to your medicine cat before spouting misinformation on clanblr
🦁 the-lionesse Follow
i'm literally a medicine cat apprentice but go off
🐷🔁 tomsplaining-archive Follow
Example #163
#get his tail 778 notes ➡️🗨️🔁🤍
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◼️ dirteater 🔁 cats-posting-their-ls Follow
clan-showdown-official-deactivated-80-0
To everycat that reblogged and voted in my poll in good faith, I thank you.
Clearly something fishy is afoot, whether that's from kits birthed for the purpose of this poll, or popular blogs like @​mouse and @swanstar-official badgering their kittypet followers to vote for their Clan. And clearly the subversion does not come from all sides in this debate. I have half a mind to declare ThunderClan the winner, just out of spite.
If RiverClan or ShadowClan 'wins' by cheating, fraud, intimidation, and manipulation, does that 'prove' that it is the best? Hardly. It only proves that such Clans are willing to gain any advantage by any means—including dishonorable ones. Can you trust that such cats won't resort to dirty tactics in snout-to-snout interactions? At the Gathering? In war? Cats like you are the reason we will never have peace.
I won't lie, I'm a bit distraught right now. But I probably should not have expected anything else from this StarClan-forsaken webbedsight. I will never be doing anything like this for you mangy cats ever again. Goodbye.
#this kitty really thought he was going to win the nuzzle peace prize with this poll #my brother in starclan this is not a forest of honor 2,064 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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🌑 nightmeows 🔁 malecalico
🤵 actualtwoleg
i didn't even knowed that there wass so many cats in this beuatifal world. woag
🌞🔁 malecalico
only valid ally
#can someone explain what is going on 64 notes ➡️🗨️🔁❤️
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2-dsimp · 1 month
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Yandere Spin-offs
Introducing the photographer
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(Bimbo Fem reader!)
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Cw: 🔞MDNI🔞 mutual masterbation, praise, degradation, coercion, dubious consent, thighjob, cum facial, slight humiliation
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Yandere photographer who asks you upfront to model for him in exchange for a hefty fee. Handing you his business card with his name and address in fine print. His name was Covu, he had dark messy wavy hair which covered his tacky circular glasses showcasing dull emerald green eyes. While his body adorned casual baggy clothing with a professional camera slung across his lean shoulder.
Truth be told Covu had his eyes on you for awhile now, so he knew your day by day schedule. From the countless stakeouts outside your job working as a retail worker. With his prized scrapbook dedicated to you, he jotted down everything from your little quirks, habits, to the overall actions you did throughout the day from the photographs he took of you every instance he gets. And from what he already gathered you fell under the ditzy bimbo category who was so sweet and yet so stupidly naive. The perfect match for him.
The photographer couldn’t help but grow enamored with you in every type of way. From your soft sweet curves to your adorable smile and especially from how you make his hands itch with the urge to take candle lit photographs of you in 69 different lewd positions. So today was the day he approached his lovely model, Covu made sure to take extra care in grooming himself to seem like an functional human being just for you. Even though he still looked like a hot bum he was at the very least a presentable one.
“Hey if you’re ever interested in modeling for me. Ring me up and I’ll pay you however much you’re willing to receive”
Covu’s voice was small but blunt and straight to the point as he stared intensely at you trying to burn the sight of his future private model into his lecherous cold eyes. But before he could turn away to head somewhere else to let you think about it, he was abruptly stopped by a short tug of his arm sleeves.
His heart thumped loudly at the sight of you looking criminally cute. As you brightly accepted the offer from a stranger such as himself right off the bat without any care for your self preservation. Licking his lips he couldn’t help but hide the ravenous smirk that spread from ear to ear at your innocent response.
He could feel artblock magically vanish as artistic inspiration began brewing in his mind all thanks to his dearest bimbo of a model. And boy did he have a lot of ideas in mind so best believe he was going to take advantage and put you to work.
"Oh fuck...you're so fucking sexy. Pose just like that for me."
He mumbled under his breath, his delirious green eyes fixated on your enchanting body as you put on the lingerie. You had agreed to model for him under the pretense that the photos will be used for the catalogue of Victoria secret. Diligently he snapped pictures of you from every delightful angle, paying no mind to the tent he was pitching in his baggy sweats. Until Covu couldn't resist the urge to touch himself, his slender hand palming the bulge as he kept his attention on you.
It was time to have you switch positions,
"Now... For this photo shoot we’re focusing on a erotic theme so I need you to start touching yourself down here babe."
Covu uttered, his voice barely above a whisper as he struggled to keep himself under control. The temptation of making you his was driving him crazy. As he reached out and guide your hand to your scantily clothed pussy, from observing your confused expression his fingers trailing over your skin as he gave you a tiny devilish smile. From seeing how flustered you were, oh you were just so endearing he couldn’t help but want to tease you even more.
"Yes that’s it work your fingers and follow the natural curves of your body...don't be afraid to explore. Hmm? Why’s my dick out you say? Well that’s to get the sexy mood going on. I am a pro after all and I want to get only the perfect shots”
He announced shamelessly his voice calm and steady as he furiously jerked off at the sight of you obediently touching yourself as per his detailed instructions. Skillfully multitasking between getting nice shots of you in revealing outfits as he continued to work both you and himself into completion. Feeling himself teetering off the edge Covu gritted his teeth and got closer to you, his cock throbbing with need as he jerked off over your body. You both moaned out loud in his art studio unable to hold back any longer.
He watched with foggy glasses as you laid there breathless your juices dripping down your legs. While his mind was consumed with pornographic images of you covered in rivers of his pearly white cum. Taking extra care to examine the thick globs of his cum sticking on your cheeks as it began to slide down. And without saying a word he gently crouched down in front of you shrugging his camera to the side as he angled your blissed out face towards his giving you a sleazy mean smirk.
“You look gorgeous all glammed up in my cum doll but snap out of it. We still got tons of photoshoots to do”
Covu cooed lazily as he relished the sight of you trying to gather your bearing but ultimately failing when he pressed his cold lips against the column of your neck. Leaving a kiss mark on your skin before pressing his forehead against yours staring deep into your eyes as he said in a soft commanding tone.
“Now for this next photo shoot I want to see you on all fours. Presenting yourself to me like the cute little slut you are.”
Once as you got into position, Covu wasted no time in slotting himself behind you under the pretense of fixing your posture via his long. Yanking his sweats down to sandwich his weeping hard long dick between your sweaty plush thighs. Rutting against you in fluid strokes, he made sure to bump the tip of his throbbing cock against your clothed budding clit. Taking out his phone, he recorded your lewd expressions as he messaged and groped at your jiggling fat tits with his other hand.
“Cmon my pretty model~ you need to arch your back and keep squeezing them thick thighs for me. I’m not one for paying slackers you know?”
He rasped in your ear with a impish grin as he toyed with you by bombarding you with his lewd demands. As he stripped you from your lingerie bra to pinch and pull at your full nipples, rolling them between his two fingers. Covu nipped the nape of your neck with his sharp canines. While he pumped his hips, smacking his pelvis against the fat of your ass as his long dick continued collecting the slick from your wet cunt which constantly dribbled down, covering his shaft.
"That's it, baby... just like that you look so fucking erotic does feeling my dick rub up against your wet cunt turn you on that much?"
He chuckled darkly as his nimble fingers found themselves at the hem of your lacy panties, slowly dragging them to the side exposing your quivering pussy. Using his thumb to press against the winking drenched hole, collecting a string of slick your so he could smear it all over his lips. So that he could smell and taste you when he prepared to take things a step further…
.
.
.
Part 2? 👀
617 notes · View notes
jeonsbabygirlsworld · 4 months
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SUMMARY: In which you are about to give birth, but Jungkook won't stop panicking.
PAIRINGS: Husband Jungkook X Wife Reader
WORD COUNT: 1.4k
WARNINGS: Childbirth, Screaming, fluff, crying,SO MANY kisses. Dad kook >>>
A/N: Hello all I hope you all are doing good. I thought of releasing the first part as 600+ followers here :0. Also, I'm sry to say @ahgasegotarmy116 won't be collaborating on this series anymore and I'll try to post the drabbles from now. Thank you for the cutest banner @ahgasegotarmy116 and I hope you like the first part of series please like, comment and reblog. <3 ❤️
Sitting in front of the TV and watching your favorite show you start to feel a few cramps here and there. Being nine months pregnant can sometimes be concerning but you had called your doctor a few times to make sure that experiencing things like this was normal he said that you shouldn’t worry too much since they never lasted more than a minute or two. At this point, all they’ve really suggested is that you sit there and wait it out for a few more days until your baby girl decides it’s time to come out. 
Jungkook being the ever-doting yet mildly nervous husband is always ready to drop everything to help you. He massages your feet, helps you take a bath and even helps you shave if you want him to. Even after he’s had a long day at the office. He never complains, he just wants to make sure you and the baby are always okay. 
While he was in the kitchen grabbing you some snacks and making you your favorite chamomile tea you started to feel the baby start moving around but it seemed pretty normal, so you thought nothing of it. Soon though you started to feel a really rough contraction running through what felt like your whole body and leaving your back aching and you letting out a huge groan in response. 
“Shit are you okay? Jungkook asks, running up to you panicking and hands you a glass of water, trying to think of something that might help. You let out another groan in pain and he starts to realize that it might be time. “I think the baby is coming,” I say, trying to stay calm and ride the wave as the next contraction starts. 
I’ll go get your hospital bag and we’ll leave as soon as possible. I’m here okay don’t worry” he says in a hushed tone, doing his best to help me stay calm before he starts running all over the house and makes sure that we have everything that we need. He packs a bag for himself quickly throwing random things he thinks would be helpful and rushes back over and helps me walk out the door. 
“Okay let me help you stand up. One, two, three-” Jungkook says "it's okay I’m not helpless so please stop worrying so much. Let’s just make it there as soon as we can” he nods in acknowledgement and makes sure to help me nonetheless as he walks me over to the elevator that takes us down into the lobby so we can head outside to where our car is parked. He helps you sit down in the passenger seat and closes the door for you before opening the door to the backseat quickly and packing everything into the car as quickly and carefully as he can so we can get on the road. 
He runs back into the apartment to grab a few more things and while he’s gone you let out a few tears just thinking about the fact that the next time you come back here you’ll be bringing your beautiful baby girl home. 
He rushes back to the car a few minutes later with the last few things he had forgotten including your Favorite wool sweater and your warm winter coat. “We’ll be there in a few minutes love, don’t worry everything's gonna be okay” he says leaning over and giving you a quick kiss before sitting back and putting his seatbelt on. “Everything is gonna be okay,” he says more to himself starts the car pulls out of the parking lot and rushes to the hospital. 
Once you reach the hospital that you’ve been going to for all of these months you meet with the nurses take you back to your room and have your husband fill out the forms to check you in. He’s hesitant to leave you but they’re able to complete everything quickly and he runs to the room they’ve put you in immediately and helps you change into the hospital gown they’ve given you before helping you lay down. 
AFTER SOME TIME 
The doctors suggested taking an epidural to ease the pain and your a few cms away from getting dilated. Jungkook sat beside the hospital bed holding your hand and gave soft kisses on the back of your hand whispering I love you and you going to be okay. But deep down Jungkook was afraid and just prayed for a safe delivery. 
Yours and Jungkook's talking resounded in the hospital room when you feel a sharp contraction and you groan in pain clutching his hand Jungkook hurries up calling the doctor and they tell you are ready to push.
"JEON JUNGKOOK GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW " you scream your lungs out and grab onto his collar your mouth just some inches away as the doctor and your husband try calming you down. "Baby calm down and just push... we will soon have our baby girl in our arms" Jungkook said drying the sweat forming on your forehead. 
Jungkook tries not passing out and staying with you the entire time while he panics himself and helps you push while the doctor in between your leg tells you she can see the head and tells you to let out more pushes while hardly clutching on your husband's hand and squeezing the life outta him. 
Soon enough soft cry resounds in the room, and you have a breath and collapse on the hospital bed... tears leave your eyes staining your now red cheek "Daddy wants to cut the umbilical cord?" The doctor asks snapping Jungkook out of his thoughts to lost when he sees his baby the nurses hand him a pair of scissors and he cuts it.
Making some space Jungkook removes some of your hospital gowns to allow some skin-to-skin to contact the doctor happily lays down your baby girl while you coo to make her stop crying, Jungkook giggles looking at her and smooths his fingers on her face and bows down towards your forehead and leave a kiss "you did so good baby" Jungkook speaks in between chuckles. 
A few minutes pass by while your baby opens her eyes and coos out the softest voice you have ever heard and you lay a kiss on her cheek "Hi baby" You speak to and she smiles up as if she understands what you are saying "Jungkook here you wanna hold her?" you ask your voice a bit raspy from all the screaming to get this baby girl out, nodding he removes his black t-shirt so he can have skin to skin contact with her and sanitizes his hands, and you pass her to your husband.
"Hi baby, it's me your dad" Jungkook introduced himself while the baby just whined and cuddled herself in his embrace chuckling, after a few kisses and talking to her in a baby voice he handed the baby to the nurses so they could take the baby so they could clean her and get her wrapped in a baby cloth.
In the meantime, the nurses bring in a birth certificate and you both name her Na-Eun the name you both decided after the gender reveal party and get it written on the birth certificate.
Na-Eun arrives in a purple swaddling which makes her look like a sweet potato smiling at the nurse she hands her to you and Jungkook lands a kiss on your face and tells you he will leave for a few minutes and call your parents.
You smile and nod at him and shift a bit so you can keep your daughter beside you, looking closely you notice her soft features resembling Jungkook so much a mole under her lip and a mole on her neck make her more beautiful you tear up a bit. 
“Oh my god…...” A small gasp is imitated by your mom as she stands there with some gifts in her hand and a bouquet in another, chuckling at you she kisses your forehead “You did great baby…. oh and look at this cutie right here” she says softly her own eyes tearing up and your dad stands beside you kissing your cheek. 
Na- Eun is held by her grandmother and grandfather who wouldn’t stop sweet-talking to her and you just wish you could stay in this moment forever and you can’t wait to bring your baby bean home.
A/N: Thank you so much if you made it till the end ill soon post the second part which is them bringing their baby home and how the first night goes :)
MOODBOARD
In which you teach your daughter an important life lesson.
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chiriwritesstuff · 4 months
Text
The Girl in IT - 1. The Night Shift
A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU
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Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)
Chapter Preview: "Well, it was a virus, and as I looked into the problem, I had to explore every avenue to ensure I pinpointed the issue, you know, for my report to Tess. I went into your history to see if it might have been a site that caused you to have the virus. I may have casually peeked into a few files to ensure they weren’t corrupted…” you admit, “…and I might have stumbled upon-" your eyebrows raise in embarrassment, "Something personal." “Something personal?” He questions, his brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have anything personal… oh, shit.” His eyes widen as the realization dawns on him, hands covering his face as he groans in embarrassment. "Look, about my internet history... and the list-" You slowly nod and bite your lip, mostly to hide your own embarrassment. “… yeah. Um, it was quite... informative about your... sexual preferences.”
Chapter Warnings and Tags: No Outbreak! Joel Miller, Mentions of intended smut towards the reader, Boss x Employee Relationship, Virgin Reader, All of the yearning, Joel Miller is a silly flirt, A small-ish age gap, Joel is too forward for his own good, Tess is a boss (and should not be fucked with - or you get the horns).
Word Count: 5.6K
A/N: Well, hello there!
I honestly have no idea where this idea of a (somewhat crack) fic came from, but I had an idea and I ran with it! A lot of the character development came from my own anxieties of feeling behind in life, and if you feel that way too, I feel you! Don't worry, I promise it won't always feel like this. Time is just that- time, and it's never too late to follow your dreams! I believe in you!
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Subject: I think I have a Virus?
12:50 AM (10 min ago)
Hey Sugar,
I know it's late, but my computer fritzed out an hour ago (a shit ton of pop-ups) and I have that presentation with The H Hotel tomorrow morning. Well, do you think you could do me a solid and help me... not have any more of those darn pop-ups? I called the number that popped up asking if I needed assistance with the virus and they asked for my credit card information but they haven't replied back.
Shit, was that a scam? Fuck. I should call Amex.  
Anyway, do you think you can help me get out of this bind, Sugar? I'll be forever and eternally grateful. If you don't, well... I'm sure Tess will rip me a new one, and I would like to not have a Servopoulos-level meltdown at 9 in the morning. Not after last time. Sorry about having to be a part of that, Sugar. At least Maria was able to pay for your dry cleaning and get you a new shirt? You should have let me check your chest for burns, I sure as hell wouldn't want scalding hot coffee being thrown in my direction either. Shit. Not check your chest as in checking out your... breasts, just the burn site. Yeah. That's what I meant. 
(Also, sorry for emailing you last minute. Shit. I'm desperate, baby.)
Thanks,
Joel Miller 
Owner and CEO, Miller Construction Group
(512) 123-4567
Subject: RE: I think I have a Virus?
1 AM (0 seconds ago)
Good Evening Mr. Miller,
I got your request and will work on it shortly. I can't make any promises, but I will try to get you out of your "bind".  
Don't worry about that thing with Tess. She was rightfully upset, and I just so happened to be caught in the line of fire. If it had to be one of us, I am glad it was me being pelted with boiling hot coffee, and not you in front of your clients. You didn't have to have Maria buy me a blouse from Neiman Marcus, nothing a little tide-to-go can't fix, right? Also, I knew what you meant about my chest, and I didn't think you wanted to look at my... breasts. Let's not refer to any of my body parts moving forward.
Also, I am not completely comfortable with the terms of endearment that you continuously call me, Sir. Please refer to me by my actual name, these emails are monitored by Tess and I would not like to be scalded with hot coffee again for a little misunderstanding.  
Please let me know if you have any other pressing questions or concerns.
Goodnight!
IT Specialist 0926,
IT Department, Miller Construction Group
(512) 765-4321
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"Ok Bubbles, let's see what mess Mr. Miller got himself into this time."
Settling by your coffee table, you access your remote portal and insert your portable SSD, initiating various programs to gain entry into your boss's laptop. Securing your hair in a messy top bun with a claw clip, you find yourself biting your bottom lip in concentration. Simultaneously, you switch on your TV, finding solace in the ambient noise that fills your dimly lit apartment—a space shared with Sir Bubbles, your British Shorthair companion since your college days. There's a marathon of Criminal Minds airing on TBS, Spencer Reid's adorable face on screen as he rattles off another theory for why the unsub was an abuse victim by his prostitute mother. You turn the volume down a bit, drowning out his voice.
It's near silent in the little shoebox you call home, the only decent place you were able to afford with your meager savings- after slaving away as a Geek Squad IT Specialist for the majority of your twenties at the Best Buy down the road from your parent's house. Despite graduating with your MIS at the University of Texas - Dallas, finding a decent job in your industry was brutal, and, honestly, quite embarrassing after receiving 30-plus rejection emails in a span of a year. Downtrodden and desperate for a job, you settled on working at Best Buy temporarily, but by the time you hit your mid-30s, it's been eight years working for barely minimum wage, and absolutely nothing to show for it. 
"Do you remember those sweet Miller boys who fixed our roof ten years ago?" your mother asks during a Sunday dinner six months ago, sliding a boat of gravy your way as you absentmindedly drizzle it over your mashed potatoes. "I ran into the older one... Joeseph? James? He owns his own company now with his brother, quite the feat, right? They're working on that hotel down the road... anyway, Josh-"
"Joel," you correct her, nudging the over-steamed carrots around your plate. "I think his name was Joel, Mama."
"Yes, Joel," your mother dismissively waves her hands. "Well, I told him about how you were on the job hunt, you know, with your master's and all. Oh, remember when you used to have that silly little crush on him? He's grown to be quite the looker, you know? Anyway, he told me that they were looking for someone to replace their old IT person—apparently, they retired—"
"Mom," you groan, "get to the point."
"Well," she grins conspiratorially, "he wants you to apply, baby. He remembers you and your little crush, and he said he could never forget someone as cute as you. If you're as good as I claimed you were, well... the job's practically yours!"
Your fork slips from your grasp, the metallic clang against porcelain causing Bubbles to leap in surprise, hissing at you in irritation. "Wait, what?" you blurt out, your eyes wide with a mix of shock and confusion.
Your mother beams at your reaction, seemingly pleased with the bombshell she just dropped. "I told him all about your IT skills and how you practically run the technology world from your bedroom. He seemed really interested, sweetie. And, well, it wouldn't hurt to at least consider it, right?"
You sit there, a swirl of thoughts and emotions whirling in your mind. The unexpected twist of Joel Miller, the older Miller boy you once had a crush on, remembering you and possibly offering you a job—it's surreal. Bubbles, having recovered from the earlier disturbance, casually resumes licking his paw, completely uninterested in the familial drama.
"I... I don't know, Mom," you stammer, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. "I mean, working for the Millers? It's a bit... complicated."
She leans in, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "Sweetheart, this could be a fantastic opportunity. And who knows, maybe that little crush of yours could turn into something more... professional, of course." She cuts into her meatloaf, humming in contentment as she chews. "Oh, and Sweetie? Wear the red sweater with your pleated skirt, with something other than those sneakers. You're turning thirty-six in September; you can at least do yourself a favor and start dressing your age for once! I'm sure Joel would appreciate it!" she winks at you as your father grunts in displeasure, rolling his eyes, muttering "meddler" under his breath.
"Mom, it was just a crush from a decade ago. Besides, mixing work and personal feelings is never a good idea."
She chuckles, reaching across the table to pat your hand. "Well, think about it, okay? Joel seemed genuinely interested in having you on the team. It's worth exploring, don't you think?"
A wink, a handshake, and six months later, you find yourself on-call indefinitely, catering to Mr. Miller's every technological whim and folly. It's not a bad job, you reason — getting paid triple what you made at Best Buy, monitoring everyone's browsing history in the office, and fielding the incessant IT requests Mr. Miller sends your way- which was often.  Way too often.
[My laptop won't turn on.]  Did you charge it? Try doing that first.
[Why does the volume not work on my Zoom calls?]  Did you make sure that you're not on mute or that your computer volume is up? Check that first.
[Since when did we put a parental blocker on the internet?]  It was per Tess, who said that employees should be working instead of looking up anti-feminist manifestos on Reddit. I apologize for the inconvenience, Mr. Miller. [Oh, well shit. Do you think you could unblock it for me? I am... having a hard time accessing my... bank account.] I mean- I could, but I would have to run it by Tess first. [Do you think you could... for me? It'll be our little secret, Sugar. Don't worry about Tess, I'll handle her.]  Sure, Mr. Miller... Right. Our little secret.  [Sugar, for the last time, it's Joel. Besides, I thought we were past having a silly little crush on me, you've grown into a... rather nice young woman. Please, call me Joel.]  Uh, sure Mr. Miller.
You are broken from your silent reverie by the unmistakable ding, ding, ding of the pop-ups Joel- Mr. Miller - you correct yourself, mentioned in his email. You scoff, biting into a piece of beef jerky. Typing in a command, the pop-ups halt, the black screen granting you developer access popping up as you run diagnostic after diagnostic trying to catch the little sucker - a virus, as Mr. Miller claimed - in the act of corrupting your poor boss' laptop once again.  There you are, you little shit, you mutter under your breath as you furiously type in more commands, eradicating Mr. Miller's bane of existence for good (or so you hope).
After running what felt like the tenth diagnostic of the night and downing three cups of coffee for the last three hours, the dawn of a new day streaks through the sheer curtains against your window. With bated breath, you restart Joel's system once more, closing your eyes until the familiar chime of Windows 11 booting up reaches your ears.
Please, please, please for fucks sake... no more pop-ups...
Joel's home screen pops up in an instant, the photo of him and his two girls smiling back at you as you breathe in a sigh of relief. "Fuck yes! Finally!" you silently exclaim, a drawn-out yawn and a deep stretch escaping your body as you settle your laptop on your couch. "Okay, let's just run a few programs and check a few documents to make sure they're not corrupted and then I can finally hit the sack..." you squint at the digital clock of your microwave, "and sleep for an hour before I have to get ready for work," you groan, eyeing the jar of Cafe Bustelo in the distance. Yep. No sleep for me, you think bitterly.  Another night, another one of Mr. Miller's computer meltdowns... 
Your eyes scan his desktop, opening up the PowerPoint file he needs for his presentation. It opens up with a slight lag, something you can optimize later but you breathe out another sigh of relief anyway. You check his internet browsing history, his late-night extensive porn viewing not a surprise to you anymore as you snort at the ridiculousness of it all.  At least it's not as bad and kinky as Tommy's browsing history, you tell yourself, because you'll never quite get used to all of the roleplay porn he watches religiously, you think. Closing out of Google Chrome, You scan his desktop for a random Word doc for you to open, not checking its title as you double-click on the first one that you see, slightly hidden by the Recycle Bin icon to the bottom right.  Wants? What kind of a file name is that?
The Word doc pops open, and it seems to be a running list of random things. You blearily scan the line items, your eyes widening in shock as you read on.  
Fuck her against my office door as I cover her mouth to muffle her screams.
Spoil her with a shopping spree at Neiman's with my Amex black card.
Fulfill my breeding fantasy by convincing her to get off of her Birth Control (do you think she's on one?)
Fuck her from behind against Tess' desk (serves her right)
You quickly exit out of the document, pushing your laptop away as if it were cursed. You look at the document title once more.  
Wants.
What the fuck was this? Who is he talking about? you ponder, the guilt of your negligence weighing on you like a weight tied to your ankles as you sink into the depths of the Atlantic. You shut your laptop for good measure, covering it up with your quilt as you shake your head in disbelief.  
What the fuck did I just read?
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“Mr. Miller? Do you have a moment?”
You knock on the office door once more for good measure, standing timidly as you try to occupy yourself by smoothing out your dress - sensible, a decent length, work appropriate, you think to yourself. You try to not occupy the idle time of waiting for your boss, Joel Miller, one half of Miller Construction- and the thing you found while remote logging onto his computer last night - I think I have a virus, his email stated - only to stumble upon something rather telling and personal - but he was your boss, and you were a professional, and you weren’t going to think about the list… 
Kiss her in the rain.
Make love in my truck as she rides me. 
Bend her over my desk and take her from behind.
Marathon sex
Eat her out as she works at her desk.
No, Joel was unequivocally your boss—older than you by at least a decade (and maybe a few more years, give or take), and the document titled "Wants" was clearly personal, likely intended for someone else, and certainly not meant to be seen by anyone, especially not an overly curious IT specialist like you. No, you reckon that this list was meant for someone else in the office - someone beautiful, sexy, and confident— someone decidedly who isn't you. Certainly not for someone who dresses like she’s still in college, who only recently began living on her own in a shoebox of an apartment (if you can call it that) after living with her parents for the majority of her adult life, and who barely has her life together. It’s pathetic, being a woman of a certain age and with nothing to show for it, still painfully single, nothing substantial to your name, only getting your life together now while everyone around you has done everything right.  I feel so behind in life, you think to yourself.  Who would want someone so pathetic as me?
It’s not like it’s a crime to have wants, you think to yourself. Everyone has them, including you, you reason. So what if you just so happen to stumble upon your boss's deepest (and somewhat depraved) desires? Doesn’t everyone have a bucket list of their desires written somewhere? So what if your older, attractive boss with his Gen X tendencies has it typed out on his work computer? It’s not like he meant for you to open up the Word doc, right?
You knew he was single. You also knew that he had kids, at least two—Sarah, his eldest, was the head of HR, and Ellie, his adoptive younger daughter, an apprentice working under Tommy, the other half of Miller Construction—a serial flirt who asked you about your dating life in your interview a few months back. No, you didn’t think about your boss and the sheer mass of man that he was, that he smelled like cedar and sandalwood, that he winks when he tells you good morning as you pass him in the parking lot while stumbling out of your less-than-impressive shitty Corolla. You also didn’t take note that he drinks his coffee black with a sprinkle of sugar—the one in the brown packet—or that he eats in his office instead of the employee lounge because he’s a messy eater. The deep red blush trailing down his neck as Tommy scolded him about his lack of table manners during a company-mandated team-building day wasn't proof enough of that.
There wasn’t a ring on that tell-tale finger, not even a tan line, no photographs of another woman on his desk—besides his daughters, of course. Not that you were looking. Tommy had his wife Maria come down to the office often enough; wouldn’t Joel be the same with his own?
Miller Construction prided itself on being a family-run company, with Joel and Tommy at the helm and their best friend Tess as VP—more the boss than the actual Miller brothers. While Joel and Tommy preferred the hands-on work on-site, Tess ruled over the office with an iron fist. No one dared to cross her.
"You've got one job, and one job only," she declared during your office tour. "Make sure no one spends the majority of their shift watching porn, and keep Joel from messing up his computer with his boomer-isms. We can't afford to keep replacing a laptop every six months."
"Isn't he in Gen X?" you ask. "... at 56 years old, he's still considered to be in that generation, right?"
"Technically, yes," Tess replies with an exasperated sigh. "But you know what I mean. Sometimes it feels like Joel is stuck in a time warp with his 'boomer-isms.' Just keep things running smoothly here, alright?"
As the days pass, you notice an unusual trend in Joel's computer issues. It seems that every time his laptop malfunctions, it coincides with a spike in suspicious internet activity. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots, and you can't help but shake your head at the irony of it all.
After a particularly eventful morning filled with more than the usual technical hiccups, you decide it's time to address the elephant in the room. You knock on Joel's office door, half-expecting him to be engrossed in some spreadsheet or construction plans.
It's not like you have to tell him about your snooping - he would be none the wiser judging by the way he was so technologically inept - you weren't about to tell him that the reason for the virus on the computer was because he was looking at some rather specific porn - boss fucks unsuspecting secretary from behind- his internet history had listed, nor did he probably think that his computer is being monitored, including his internet browsing history- company policy, as stated on the employee handbook that every employee of Miller Construction signs on the day of their official hiring- nor does he think that it sends reports to her at the end of the day.
You don't think about how the sudden uptick of his secretary porn viewing increased since a week after your hiring.  It's just a coincidence, right?
“Mr. Miller?” You call out once more. “It’s about your IT request last night? I have an update?”
“Yeah? Sorry! Come on in!” you hear from behind the door, accompanied by the frantic shuffle of papers and a silent curse. You take a deep breath as your hand turns the doorknob. Silently, you shut the door behind you, offering a small smile as you smooth out the skirt of your dress once more.
You fidget in place in front of the door as Joel—Mr. Miller—in his green flannel and dark jeans slung just right—it really should be criminal, looking this ruggedly handsome for someone his age, you think—as he ungraciously flops onto his desk chair, motioning for you to take the seat in front of him as he clears his throat nervously. “Take a seat.”
You situate yourself in front of him, refusing to meet his eyes as you fiddle with your hands on your lap, wondering why he, out of all people, would be nervous. It's not like he stumbled upon something so... intimate. You are a professional, and you were only doing your job, you tell yourself like a mantra, trying to ground yourself. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like he would fire you over your accidental snooping, right? You nod to yourself. “So…”
“So…” he replies, Adam’s apple bobbing as he takes a drink of his coffee. “Thank you for taking a look at my computer last night.” He begins, smiling at you. “I know that it was late, and I’m willing to compensate your time by giving you time and a half…”
“Oh,” you nervously reply, shifting in your seat. “No, Mr. Miller—”
“Joel.”
“What?”
He shakes his head. “Please. We’re all family here. Call me Joel. Mr. Miller is my father for fuck's sake—”
“Right,” you chuckle. “Sure. Joel. Listen, you don’t need to compensate me for last night, let alone give me the overtime rate—”
“I emailed you at midnight; surely you were already busy, or I probably irritated your husband—”
“No.”
“No?” 
“No,” you mumble solemnly, “there’s no husband, just me and my cat-“
He barks at that, the laugh so loud it makes you jump in your seat. He gives you a look, almost as if he was relieved with that bit of information. “Well, disturbing your cat, then-“
"Oh," you reply casually, waving your hands in dismissal. "I'm sure Sir Bubbles didn't mind... and I don't sleep much, really—"
"Oh?" He straightens himself, his face serious. "Is it because of all of my requests? Shit. My girls give me such a hard time about not being with the times, I'm not really interested in technology— So no husband? Boyfriend, then?"
"Uh, no," you reply quickly, not eager to delve into the details of your lackluster love life. You clear your throat, adopting a professional demeanor. "Joel, as you're aware—or maybe not," you chuckle nervously, "I receive reports of all employee internet histories at the end of the day. Being the sole IT specialist on your payroll—perks of the job, outlined in my duties—I keep an eye out for any... irregularities."
"Irregularities?" he replies, his demeanor shifting into something resembling guilt. "What are you trying to get at?" he presses.
"Well, I monitor employee computer usage to make sure that they're not... distracted from their work," you reply. "Tess was explicit about not having any employees using company time for any unnecessary personal... dalliances."
Joel gives you a hard look. "Dalliances?"
"Yes, dalliances. Tess told me it was an issue before, with employees browsing social media and visiting questionable Reddit threads?"
"I don't follow," Joel replies. "You gotta spell it out for me, Sugar. What does that have to do with my request last night? I had a late night at the office, and after... checking my emails," he gulps, "I suddenly get bombarded with these pop-up things, so much that I just... unplugged my laptop... and, well-"
How is he so oblivious about this? You bite your cheek in frustration, not knowing how to get to the point without having to spell it out for him that you caught him browsing porn last night, secretary porn at that, and although it's highly inappropriate, you hardly think he was watching it because of Gladys, his actual secretary, who is old enough to be his mother.  Not unless he has some weird mommy kink...
Unable to endure the suspense any longer, you decide to rip the bandaid off as soon as possible. “I’m sorry!” You exclaim, “I didn't mean to look at your browsing history, I mean, I had to, but only because I had to find the reason why a virus got on your computer, but that is not the point! I had to open a file to make sure it wasn't corrupted, and I swear, I didn't mean to open it!"
“Open what, sweetheart?” he smiles at you, leaning forward towards you.  
"Well, it was a virus, and as I looked into the problem, I had to explore every avenue to ensure I pinpointed the issue, you know, for my report to Tess. I went into your history to see if it might have been a site that caused you to have the virus. I may have casually peeked into a few files to ensure they weren’t corrupted…” you admit, “…and I might have stumbled upon-" your eyebrows raise in embarrassment, "Something personal."
“Something personal?” He questions, his brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have anything personal… oh, shit.” His eyes widen as the realization dawns on him, hands covering his face as he groans in embarrassment. "Look, about my internet history... and the list-"
You slowly nod and bite your lip, mostly to hide your own embarrassment. “… yeah. Um, it was quite... informative about your... sexual preferences.”
Joel visibly pales at your confession. He adjusts his collar, unbuttoning the second button as if he were being strangled by your scrutiny. “I just want to let you know", he starts, looking you in the eye with an unreadable expression. "I respect you as a woman, and Tommy, fuck, he wouldn’t let it go, with all that teasing about you being exactly my type and all, and well, your mother did remind me about your little crush on me back then-“ he rubs his hands through his hair as he rambles on, “… and I know that this looks bad, with you being my employee and all-“
“Wait, what?” You cut him off, a confused look on your face. “What do you mean? I mean, they're your personal preferences, and the list, well, I'm sure whoever you're writing about must be some woman, not that it's any of my business-”
“Fuck. You didn’t read all of it?”
“No!” You exclaim, practically jumping out of your seat. “I quickly closed it once I realized the nature of the document…”
“Well.” He stands up suddenly, pacing behind his desk. “I wrote that drunkenly one night after the company dinner, you know, the one when you wore that dress… do you remember?”
“Yes,” you reply breathily, “… the night where-“
You vividly recall that night. It was a dinner at the recently completed new hotel project. After a few glasses of wine and an impulsive, rather expensive purchase at Nordstrom.com a week prior, you endured most of the evening in an uncomfortably tight and overly revealing dress—a poor choice for a company party, for fucks sake. You believed Joel approached you at the end of the night out of sheer pity, not because—
“Well… after seeing you in that dress, and how stunning you looked in it, sitting by yourself, biting your lip in a way that makes me-“ he stops himself, giving you a small smile. “I was drunk, and I was thinking… I was contemplating how, if I were to have you, if you, by some miracle of fate… were interested, that I would do things right, you know? That if I had a second chance at… I would do it right. Treat you right.”
“You do know I’m not a secretary, let alone your secretary,” you roll your eyes. “I’m in IT… the only person in IT actually, and you’re not the first person I caught looking at questionable porn…”
Joel bristles at that. “Shit. Let me guess… Tommy?”
That gets a small smile out of you. “I can neither confirm nor deny, but… he’s partial towards a certain porn actress, and let’s just say he is really in love with women who looks like his wife.”
He smiles. "Shit, I thought I was being obvious enough, being that Tommy has teased me about it enough... I thought you knew. I know you work with computers, Sugar. I’m not completely senile, and I know Tess has been on a warpath about people getting their rocks off at work, I figured you would look at all of my… perusing.”
You're left stunned, your mind racing to process what Joel just revealed. It's not the revelation about his desires that leaves you speechless, but the unexpected admission of his feelings toward you. Your mind flashes back to the list, the desires that seemed so out of reach for someone like you. You never thought Joel would be harboring any feelings for you, let alone express them so openly.
"I... I had no idea," you stammer, still grappling with the revelation. "I thought that list was for someone else, someone... not me."
Joel walks around the desk, his eyes never leaving yours. "You thought wrong, sweetheart. I've been trying to drop hints, but I guess I've been subtler than I thought."
A myriad of emotions wash over you — confusion, surprise, and a hint of something you can't quite place. The professional boundary between boss and employee seems to blur, and you find yourself in uncharted territory.
"But," he continues, "I get it. I'm your boss, and this is complicated. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position. I should've been more direct."
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Joel, it's not about being direct or indirect. This is just... unexpected. I never thought someone like you would... feel that way about someone like me."
He reaches out, gently lifting your chin so you meet his gaze. "Someone like me? What does that even mean, darlin'? You're intelligent and beautiful, and I've seen the way you handle your work. I've noticed you, and I can't help how I feel."
A mixture of vulnerability and sincerity in his eyes makes it hard to doubt his words. You start to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, your insecurities have clouded your perception.
"I don't want to pressure you, and I understand if you're not comfortable with this. I just needed you to know. The last thing I want is for things to be awkward at work," he says, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.
You take a moment to absorb everything. Joel's revelation, your preconceptions, and the unexpected turn of events. The office, once a familiar space, now feels like uncharted territory.
"I need time to process this," you finally say. "It's a lot to take in, Joel. I never expected... any of this."
He nods understandingly, his hand dropping to his side. "Take all the time you need. I'll respect whatever decision you make. And hey, if you're not interested, we can go back to being boss and employee, like nothing happened."
You manage a small smile, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "I'll... let you know. Just give me some time, okay?"
"Of course," he says, moving back toward his desk. "And, for what it's worth, I meant every word on that list. Whether it's a rain kiss or making love in my truck, I want it all with you."
You nod, silently acknowledging his sincerity. As you leave his office, you can't help but wonder how a routine IT request led to such a revelation. The office dynamics have shifted, and you find yourself navigating uncharted waters, unsure of where this unexpected revelation will lead.
As you walk away from Joel's office, a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts consumes your mind. The revelation about Joel's feelings for you is a shock, but it's not the only thing echoing in your head. The list of desires he had penned down only magnifies your own insecurities. The voice in your mind grows louder, whispering that you're not the woman he deserves—too much of a mess, too behind in life, and certainly not beautiful enough for someone like him. The echoes of your perceived inadequacies replay like a broken record, drowning out the possibility that someone could genuinely see something valuable in you. You glance at your reflection in the office window, critiquing every imperfection, every perceived flaw. The dress that seemed sensible before now feels like a sad attempt to disguise what you believe is a lack of style or grace. The weight of self-doubt becomes an invisible burden, and you can't shake the feeling that you're not enough, that you may never be enough for someone like Joel.
As you grapple with your internal struggles, a small spark of defiance begins to flicker within you. Perhaps it's time to challenge those self-limiting beliefs, to be bolder than your insecurities allow. Joel's admission has opened a door you never expected, and you find yourself at a crossroads. Despite the echoes of doubt, a newfound courage whispers that maybe, just maybe, you can be more than what you perceive.
Embracing this sudden surge of determination, you make a decision. Instead of letting fear dictate your actions, you choose to confront the uncertainties head-on. Swallowing the apprehension that threatens to hold you back, you turn on your heel and head back to Joel's office. The faint thud of your own heartbeat echoes in your ears as you push open the door.
"Joel," you say, your voice steadier than you anticipated. "I've been thinking about what you said, and I need you to clarify something for me."
He looks up from his desk, curiosity etched across his features. "Sure, what's on your mind?"
You take a deep breath, suppressing the self-doubt that still lingers. "Is that list something you genuinely desire with me, or was it just a drunken fantasy?"
Joel's eyes lock onto yours, a mix of surprise and sincerity in his gaze. "Every word of it is something I want with you. Why?"
A daring smile plays on your lips as you respond, "Then let's not leave it as a list, Joel. Let's see how many of those desires we can turn into reality."
The room seems to hold its breath for a moment as Joel's expression shifts from surprise to a slow, understanding smile. The air thickens with anticipation, leaving the next steps uncertain but filled with the promise of something new and exhilarating. As you stand on the precipice of this unexpected journey, the uncharted waters of possibilities lie ahead, and you find yourself ready to take the plunge.
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Taglist: @gwendibleywrites, @joeldjarin, @brittmb115
For more updates on all of my fics, please follow @chiriwritesstuffnotifs
All dividers by @saradika-graphics
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ambrosiagoldfish · 2 months
Note
Lucifer, Charlie, and alastor with a Kitsune reader ? :0
Hazbin Hotel x Kitsune! Reader
(Lucifer, Charlie, and Alastor)
Safe for all Audiences!
Warnings: None! Gn! Reader! Reader being a mischievous Little Kitsune, chaos ensues.
Request Box: Open
Word count: 1101
A/n: Hi! thank you for the request! This isn’t terribly long so I hopes that’s ok!
Now, I wasn’t entirely sure if you want this to be Romantic or Platonic so I kept it pretty vague so it could be interpreted as either! I hope that’s ok, if not just send another request and I’ll fix it!!
But either way I hope you enjoy it because i enjoyed writing it!! <3
Proofread once soooo… if there are any errors please ignore them/inform me 😭
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Lucifer
When you first arrived in hell, he wasnt the most impressed by you. Not in a mean way or anything, just that he’s lived for a long time and has met a plethora of different types of beings so he’s pretty used to meeting interesting looking people.
But even he has to admit that he was intrigued with you. Your 9 well-groomed and lush tails that quietly followed you with every step and the fur of your fox ears looked soft to the touch. The thing that he seemed to notice most though was the whole eloquent aura you had with every movement you did. Smooth, almost tranquil.
You being a Kitsune did cause you to stir up a bit of… let's say trouble. Your fox nature of course caused you to have a personality that leaned a bit mischievously. You weren’t malicious by any means, you judt had a very… unique taste in humor and how you wish to spend your time. Pranks, stealing random objects that interest you, and going places that you probably should be. This gets you in trouble with many a folk but it’s really not something you can’t handle.
On one of these occasions. you took interest in his custom made duckys. First off, it was something new to you, 2nd, you had never seen someone be this interested in ducks as him, so when you randomly stumbled into the big man of hell’s workspace that’s filled to the brim of them, each with unique features and colorful designs, needless to say you were quite interested.
He was a bit embarrassed at first when you found it but seeing that you genuinely were into them he literally couldnt stop showing them off. Going into almost ecrusiating detail of each one's design choices. (This man is so autistic-coded. I love him so much)
He even made a custom one for you which he gave you when both met again. It was a basic duck design, except it had 9 tail feathers and wore fox ears that clearly mimicked your own, including your fur pattern. He then spent an hour going through each of its features with you. To say you were grateful would be an understatement.
“And if you pull this feather back… Bubbles! Oh-ho, and that's not all! If you take this and-”
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Charlie
Definitely more impressed than her father would be. Of course she has been in hell literally all her life and has seen some weird, wacky, hot and cool people but it still doesnt not surprise her when she finds interesting people. When you first met her she was really interested in you, asking a bunch of questions and It was almost scary how enthusuatsic about it she got.
She then started talking about her brand new “Hazbin Hotel.” It was something to reform sinners so that they had a chance at redemption. Charlie seemed so excited to tell you about it that you honestly did have the heart to tell her that you didn’t exactly believe a soul could be redeemed.
Now depending on if you’re hellborn or a sinner, things can go a bit differently. If youre hellborn she’ll offer you a job at the hotel, well to say a job would be a lie, you didn’t really have 1 given task to do, you just helped out when needed. if you’re a sinner, you of course get to stay in a room at the hotel. Whether you actually go along and try to get better is up to you. It was a free place to sleep, so hey? Might as well. Either way though, Charlie always sees the good in people, hellborn or not. So she would obviously want to help you grow as a person even if you are hellborn.
The michevues aspects of your personality tends to cause some problems for the hotel at times. Fights happen, lessons have ended prematurely, and you may have accidentally caused a bar fight between Angel and Sir Pentious. It really was an accident, how was you supposed to know “borrowing” one of Pentious’ shiny tools would cause such a ruckus?
Charlie lectored you about taking others' stuff and made you apologize.
As much as Charlie doesn’t want to admit it (at least before episode 5) she’s a lot like her dad. That also expands to their likeness for your fur. She really can’t take her eyes away from it, it just looks so soft and neat… and soft… eventually you catch her staring at your tails and you just laugh and ask her if she wants to touch them.
“What!? Pfft, noooo, no no no. hehe…he…unless you’re offering…”
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Alastor
Considering Alastor died in the 20’s I don’t think he knows what a Kitsune is exactly. Which is probably why he’s the most interesting in you at first glance (you could have also met when he first manifested in hell, which would only further his intrigue)
Either way, your personalities seemed to mesh well for the most part. You both stir up trouble wherever you go (Alastor a bit more… maliciously than you but still)
Whether you’re hellborn or a sinner is irrelevant to how he treats you, though he has tried making a deal with you every once and a while. You always decline but he thinks it’s always worth a shot to ask.
Alastor is aware of your devious behavior and knows the best way to handle it if it ever happens to come his way. He knows that you’re harmless and not a threat which is exactly why he has taken a liking to you. You’re someone who can only really help his cause and nothing bad can really come out of you being around.
Pranks though, are the one thing that Alastor can’t seem to sway you out of doing. He can’t even begin to count the amount of times he’s been at the front end of them. Of course he always sees through them and they’ve never once worked, but boy are you sure determined to one day get him.
This was one such case where you attempted to steal and hide his radio cane while he was asleep, only for him to sneak up shadow form and scare you half to double death
“You’re going to have to try harder than that to pull one past me, my, oh-so dear, exquisitely fluffy friend”
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cozage · 2 months
Note
May i ask a headcanon list for Luffy, Sanji and Zoro reaction to their s/o being a cp0 agent?
A/N: I am just now noticing as I finish up this work that you asked for a headcanon LIST. Forgive me for the mix-up!
Characters: female reader x Luffy, Sanji, Zoro Cw: betrayal, angst with no happy ending  Total word count: 1.6k
Double Agent
Luffy
“It can’t be,” Luffy muttered from the doorway.  
Shit. You had been compromised. Luffy was supposed to be off in the jungle. How had he tracked you to this abandoned building?
“Luffy!” you hissed, stepping in front of the other agent. “What are you doing here?”
“I left that emergency steak with you,” he said, his eyes wide. You had promised him your lunch and forgotten to give it to him. Of course he followed the scent here. 
“We have to get rid of him,” the agent behind you said, reaching for his weapon. You didn’t even know his name, but you couldn’t let him kill the captain of the Stawhats. 
“Absolutely not!” you reached for your own weapon, glaring at him. “You know our orders.”
“If you’re position is compromised-”
“Then killing the captain isn’t going to help much!”
The other agent raised his brow. “Getting soft? They’re pirates. It’s reckless to let him live.”
You scoffed. “You’re the one being reckless. Leave him be. We can still watch from afar.”
“This is a joke, right?” Luffy’s shaky voice came from the doorway again, full of uncertainty. 
You steeled yourself and faced him, putting on a bored face. “It is no joke. I’m afraid I’ve just been sloppy in covering my tracks.”
“You can’t be CP-0.” His face slowly turned to rage. “You would never-”
“Apparently you’ve sparked the interest of some very important people.”
The man behind you clicked his tongue in disapproval. You were saying too much. But you needed Luffy to leave here. He had to leave alive. 
Luffy stared into your eyes, and you swore he was staring into your soul. “I refuse to believe this is the real you. I know you. I love you. This isn’t you.”
“You don’t know me at all, Monkey D. Luffy.” You put an extra taunt in his full name. “You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of.” You gave him a wicked grin, letting the worst parts of yourself out into the open for him to see. 
“Come back to the Sunny,” he begged, unphased by the wickedness on your face. “We can figure it out together.”
“I have no reason to return there. Besides, you would just make me a prisoner when I set foot on deck.”
Luffy’s brow furrowed. “I would never restrain you-”
“Leave, Luffy.” You tried your hardest to keep the desperation out of your voice. “Leave now, or don’t leave at all.”
“Permission to terminate, then?” The Agent took a step towards Luffy, and it took everything in you to remain where you stood. 
You pulled out your weapon and threw all of your hate into the stare you gave Luffy. “Leave.”
“This isn’t over until we talk-”
You fired a warning shot, missing his head by a centimeter. “Leave.”
“I’ll get you back. This isn’t over,” Luffy promised, and then he walked out the door. 
Sanji
“This is an interesting place for a picnic, my love!” Sanji’s kind voice rang out amongst the trees. “Where are you hiding?”
The other agent’s eyes widened. “You left a trail?” she hissed.
“Never,” you whispered back. “I-”
“There you are!” Sanji launched himself toward you, wrapping you in a hug. “And who is this fine young woman with you? Did you bring company?”
The agent’s hand moved to her gun, and you gave one quick shake, trying to prevent her from blowing your cover.
“Just a friend,” you said between gritted teeth. “We were just saying goodbye. Could you give us a moment, Sanji?”
“The lady can stay if she’d like!” Sanji quickly said. “I have plenty-”
“I would never sully myself with such company,” the woman snapped. She looked at you. “You’re being called back in.”
“No,” you shook your head. “No, that’s impossible.”
“Come on,” the woman said. “No more use for appearance. We’ll leave him alive for now.”
Sanji, somehow, kept up a smile. He had no idea what was occurring, but you could tell that he was nervous. 
“My love?” He asked, looking at you with a forced smile and worry in his eyes.
“I have to go, Sanji.” You shouldered your backpack with everything you had collected. 
“No,” he said softly. “You can stay. I don’t know who this woman is but-”
“This woman is your lover’s superior,” the woman said. “And she never loved you. She was just using you for intel.”
“No. Tell them, my love. Tell them what a mistake they have made.”
It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much. He was a pirate. You were a government agent. It was supposed to be easier than this. You were used to betraying people, and yet this created a strange ache in your chest. 
“I work for CP-0,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I was tasked to infiltrate your crew and obtain records. Watch you all from the inside.”
“Impossible-” Sanji said
But you had to keep going. You had to break him so he would never come looking for you. “I chose you because it was the easiest. You had access to everything. And when I needed to look for specific things, I added sleeping medicine to the tea you served everyone. It was too easy. 
“I don’t believe you.” Sanji had tears in his eyes now. “It wasn’t all fake.”
You sneered at him. “You were so desperate for love, you accepted the bare minimum of affection without a second thought.”
He slumped to his knees, his eyes getting a far-away look in them. Your heart cracked, but your face showed no emotion as you looked down at him. “I’m only letting you live now so you have to live with this failure. But I will come for you one day. And I will kill you.”
He gave a single nod of acknowledgement, as if he had expected this; as if he deserved it. 
He didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve him. But if you showed an ounce of weakness, you knew the agent next to you would kill him. So you turned and left, knowing that his empty stare would haunt your dreams forever. 
Zoro
“You wanna tell me what the hell is going on?” Zoro shouted. “Who the hell is that guy?”
The agent next to you fired a bullet before you could react, and you cried out in warning. But the bullet only met steel. Zoro had sliced right through it. 
“I knew you were getting weak. No wonder they wanted to pull you from this mission,” the agent chuckled. He kept his gun aimed at Zoro, but was watching you carefully. 
No. No. How had Zoro found you? He was the last person who should be here right now. He always got lost. How on earth had he found you?
Zoro was still staring at you, waiting for an answer. He didn’t even bother to acknowledge the man or the weapons he had. 
“Stand down,” you growled between clenched teeth. 
“I do not take orders from you,” the agent snarled back. 
Zoro was still watching. Hell, how could you play this to get him out alive? You couldn’t have him getting hurt. You had already said your goodbyes in letters to the crew. You had made up some reason to leave. But Zoro, of all people, had managed to find you. 
“I’m leaving the crew!” you shouted to him. 
A trace of hurt passed over Zoro’s face. “You’re taking some government recruitment position over us? You can’t be serious.”
“Not recruitment,” the agent next to you purred, and you froze. “Have you ever heard of CP-0, Roronoa Zoro? Of course you have. You were at Enies Lobby, weren’t you?”
You stiffened at his words. You could see Zoro trying to figure out the secret meaning the man was taunting home with. 
Just leave, you begged silently. Please leave. 
But the agent sent to retrieve you was not finished burning bridges for you. “Your “crewmate” here isn’t a new recruit. No, they’re a seasoned veteran of the organization.”
Zoro stilled. Only his fingers twitched, itching to reach for his blade as he watched you with predator-like senses. 
“Zoro,” you whispered. You weren’t sure what to say, but you had to say something to him.
“Go. Get out of my sight.” You could see him shaking. From rage, most likely. From betrayal. 
The agent next to you gave a humorous laugh. “Do you think we are going to let you live?”
“We are letting him live,” you said, too quiet for Zoro to hear. “That was the agreement.”
The agent gave you a wicked smile. “He brought this upon himself, following you out here.”
“Let him go,” you snarled softly. “Or you will not leave this island.”
You had been baited. You knew it the moment his eyes lit up. Proof that your allegiance was to the Strawhats over CP-0. Proof that you needed to be reprogrammed in some capacity. 
He waved a hand lazily at Zoro. “You may go. We have to go as well. We have some work to do.”
You gave Zoro one last look, trying to convey how sorry you were about everything. He should’ve just stayed on the ship, read the damn letter, and accepted that you had left the crew.  
Your eyes met Zoro’s just for a moment, and then you turned away and followed the agent down the path. And as much as you wanted to, you didn’t look back. 
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ruggiezz · 4 months
Text
— CHRISTMAS SPIRIT : twisted wonderland
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[synopsis] they couldn’t go back home for the holidays, so how do they spend them with you?
[characters] ace, riddle, kalim, vil, malleus
[content warnings] food is mentioned
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★﹕ACE TRAPPOLA — building a snowman
The streets were decorated with colorful lights, lamp posts had ribbons wrapped around them, and kids were running around playing with the snow. You could tell it was Christmas season from a mile away just by looking at the huge Christmas tree that decorated the park.
Even if it was around 7 pm, the streets were full of people shopping at the last hour. The windows of the stores were all advertising discounts to get more sales, from expensive items to affordable ones. 
Ace had already bought your gift weeks ago. It was something you mentioned you wanted once, you probably had forgotten about it, but he had saved for months just to see the smile on your face when you opened it.
While walking to a cafe Cater recommended, you saw some kids making a snowman together in a nearby park while their parents chatted while sitting on a bench. Grabbing Ace's hand, you rushed to a spot in the park and rolled some snow to make the body. He protested at first but he got to work almost immediately.
Helping you decorate it was the fun part. He collected some pebbles while you continued molding it. As he decorated the face so it would look like it was frowning, he laughed at you for protesting about the facial expression. Ace said it was ‘the best snowman in the park’ and that you both ‘won against those kids’. You grabbed your scarf and wrapped it around the snowman, claiming it was so it wouldn't 'feel cold'.
Sadly, you forgot the weather was below 0°; but before you could even say something or complain, you felt Ace wrapping his red scarf carefully around your neck.
“Sheesh, I’m your boyfriend, and you’re favoring a snowman over me. I'm going to freeze now, you know? …I'm just teasing, let's go or we won't find any tables available.”
★﹕RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS — decorating a gingerbread house
Usually, Sam makes Christmas sales in the Mystery shop around December, but this year it made a huge fuss because of the new items he added. The students that stayed in school grounds were buying almost everything, so you thought you could check it out. 
All the items were eye-catching, but a particular gingerbread house set stood out the most. It was selling fast, and you wanted one, so why wouldn't you buy one to decorate with your boyfriend?
Riddle couldn't say he was surprised when you showed up in his room with a box of frosting sleeves and gingerbread walls. A few Heartslabyul students who stayed too bought some sets and decorated them in the common areas (and that got them collared, which made them have to go to their own rooms or the cafeteria tables). He thought about it and decided to give it a try, since he wanted to spend time with you and he already finished his book of crosswords.
His side of the gingerbread house looks neat, exactly like a model a company would use in an advertisement, following the instructions carefully paid off. Your side looks slightly messy, with the frosting dripping on the sides and some of the candy falling off. The best way to describe it would be like an earthquake happened, and it only affected half the house. But Riddle still liked it; he could see the effort you put into it; you could even say he felt fond of it.
Riddle had a lot of fun decorating and spending time with you. You handed him the colorful chocolate candy package as he gave the final touches on the ceiling.
It wasn't the perfect house, but it was one made by the both of you.
“It isn’t tidy or neat, yet it has a certain charm to it... Don't put frosting on my face!”
★﹕KALIM AL-ASIM — singing christmas carols
He really likes spoiling you, and you could tell that he was planning something big due to how big his grin had been since December started.
Kalim promised to walk you to Ramshackle after the end of your classes, promising to spend the rest of the day with you. He even finished his homework for the end of the break early so Jamil couldn't object!
The second the bell that indicated the start of winter break rings, Kalim rushes out of the classroom, going straight to the stairs so he could go meet you on another floor. Jamil had to yell at him from a distance to not walk too quickly or he would slip and fall off the stairs. Kalim looks like an excited puppy waiting for you in the hallway, wanting to receive that kiss you always give him as s greeting, it's the best part of his day.
He grabs your hand and starts walking to Ramshackle, excitedly telling you about his plans for the both of you for the winter break, talking about the gifts he will send to his siblings, and about the meal you can both have on the 25th. When the both of you run out of conversation topics, Kalim just hums the melody of a carol, swinging the arm, holding your hand back and forth, and walking as quick as he could.
Kalim looks back at you, giving you the brightest smile he can physically make, and asks you to sing along with him. He'll teach you the lyrics. Or maybe, if you want to, you can both sing carols from your world.
He's just a big fan of carols; he even tells you about how Jamil and he sang them together every Christmas when they were kids. He would love the idea of being able to sing with you together; he wants to know more about you and the traditions in your world.
“Come on, let’s sing together! We can be like a duo; it’ll be so much fun!”
★﹕VIL SCHOENHEIT — watching christmas movies
As soon as he found out you were staying at the school grounds during the holidays, he invited you to stay in Pomefiore. Vil can't have you getting sick or getting your skin dry; the coldness of the environment wasn't good for anyone's skin.
Vil arranged a room for you with all the necessary things you could need, even preparing a set of expensive pajamas he bought for you as an early gift, yet you still sneaked at night to sleep in his bed. It's not like he was complaining; it helped him sleep better at night. You are made to go to sleep early anyway, sleeping is important to maintain your natural beauty.
The second day you opened in your laptop the huge catalog of the (expensive) streaming service you bought especially for the holidays. You asked Vil to watch some Christmas movies with you and he agreed. He knew you weren't familiar with this world's iconic movies, so he would act as your guide.
The both of you made it a habit to sit in his bed a few hours before bedtime and watch some Christmas movies. You played a movie he recommended or that caught your eye, got comfortable, laid your head on his shoulder, and he got to speak about his thoughts on the actor's performance. This was the routine you both followed every day. But one particular movie caught your eye—one he starred in months before entering NRC.
It was good; it was a rom-com where he starred as a side character. You found yourself watching it multiple times, even in his absence. It was a movie with a good plot, your boyfriend starred in it, and he got to talk about the behind the scenes. It was a win-win.
“Did you enjoy my performance, hm? My acting is always on point; expect nothing but the best from me.”
★﹕MALLEUS DRACONIA — sharing hot chocolate
Since Malleus stayed behind because he wanted to spend the holidays with you, that meant the rest of the Diasomnia family did too, so they were all invited to a Christmas sleepover at Ramshackle. And he could never decline an invitation, especially from you.
Sebek was delighted to drink something sweet, just like Grim, who was happy to be able to eat whatever he wanted. Lilia was reminiscing over old memories of when they were younger, like a proud father would, and Silver was listening and adding more to what Lilia was saying.
There was something comforting about the heat coming from the mug he was holding and the sweater you bought specially for him. Malleus has never been sensitive to the cold weather, but the warmth he felt in his heart seeing how well you got along with important people in his life was more than welcomed. It was simple—nothing like the fancy celebrations at his castle back home—just the six of you spending time together while chatting about anything.
It wasn't a foreign feeling; he often felt this way around you, but he could never get enough of it. He smiled at you as you refilled Sebek's mug, who was discussing with Silver about their childhood memories, while you listened intently, clearly interested. Lilia noticed Malleus staring at you and teased him about it, but Malleus only smiled proudly at him and kept drinking from his mug; some of the marshmallows you added to his cup sinking to the bottom.
If any other student witnessed it, they would be speechless over how Malleus Draconia, the scary prince nobody wants to anger, was so content drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows in a snowman mug. But they would be even more speechless if they saw the tender way he looked at you.
“This night has been nothing but delightful; you surprise me more and more every day. I want nothing more than to make more memories like this with you.”
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starkwlkr · 1 year
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if he wanted to | charles leclerc
inspired by this video that went viral a couple months ago?? also just noticed that the guy is wearing a red bull hat 😭
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It was a sunny day in Monaco when Charles watched his girlfriend careful apply lipgloss on her lips. It was the one he loved on her. Him and Y/N were sat in table inside Y/N favorite restaurant.
“Does it look good?” Y/N asked him, showing him her lips.
“You look beautiful.” Charles replied.
“You look beautiful too,” Y/N smiled at her boyfriend then looked back at her phone screen as she used her camera as a mirror. Her phone was leaning on the salt shaker, but kept sliding down which annoyed her. “Stupid phone.”
“Here, let me help.” Charles grabbed her phone from the table and held it up to her face so she could continue doing her makeup without any trouble.
“I don’t deserve you, Charles.” Y/N leaned in to kiss Charles on his lips.
“I thought you said I couldn’t kiss you when you’re wearing lipgloss.” He reminded her of the rule she set since the beginning of their relationship. After many years of being together, he never once broke it.
“Rules are for losers anyways.” Y/N joked. She then took out her eyeliner from her bag and took the cap off. “I hate this. I always have to do it several times.” She looked back at the phone Charles was holding.
“I believe you can do it in one try.” Charles encouraged. He payed attention to her hand movement, something she didn’t even notice at first.
“Okay, I think it’s even. What do you think?” Y/N looked back at Charles and did a little pose which made him laugh.
“Wait, hold still.” Charles set the phone down and with his left hand, he gently grabbed her chin and pretended to inspect her face, but when Y/N was least expecting it, he leaned in closer and pressed multiple kisses to her face.
“Charles!” Y/N laughed until he finally stopped kissing her. He then took her phone in his hand and flipped the camera around so he could take a picture of her.
“Beautiful as always.” Charles said, setting the phone down.
“You’re too good to me, Leclerc.”
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charles_leclerc rules are for losers anyways
lipgloss: 0 charles: 1
y/n.l/n glad you agree, lightning mcqueen
Pierregasly can’t believe you followed her lipgloss rule for five years 😑
y/n.l/n kika told me she didn’t kiss you yesterday because she put on red lipstick so if i were you, I wouldn’t be talking 🤫😬
Pierregasly WRONG I DIDN’T WANT TO MESS UP HER LIPSTICK
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wileys-russo · 6 months
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Could you maybe write something where alessia is dating leahs sister or something? Like alessia and reader fight and leah overhears and trys to protect y/n going straight into overprotective big sister mode.
miscommunication II a.russo x williamson!reader
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miscommunication II a.russo
“hey, baby you played brilliantly.” you sat down beside your girlfriend and murmured, placing a hand on your leg. “get off.” the taller blonde warned quietly, shoving your hand off her leg and shuffling away from you further down the bench.
most of the team had filtered out by now, no one really wanting to sit around and reflect on the 4-0 flogging they’d just taken from chelsea which had cost them precious points at this stage of the season.
you however had been absolutely no help to them.
picking up a concussion after you’d not been paying attention in training and ran right into the goal post when trying to go in for a tackle had meant you’d been benched this week for monitoring.
much as you had protested the decision there wasn't a chance your sister would let you risk any sort of injury, the blonde captain of your national team simply fixing you with her infamously stern glare any time you tried.
“lessi-“ you tried again, moving back closer to your girlfriend as she started to take off her boots and socks. “don’t.” was all she mumbled before you could even say a word, again shuffling away from you and shoving her shoes and socks into the kit bag at her feet.
“love please you’re being way too hard on yourself it’s a team sport and you-“ you reached out toward her, flinching as she shoved your hand away and stood suddenly.
“can’t you take a hint? just stay away from me.” your girlfriend snapped, a move incredibly out of character for the normally kind and well mannered blonde you’d fallen in love with, slinging her bag over her shoulder and storming out of the change rooms, drawing the attention and concern of several of your team mates who watched on.
"hey maybe just let her cool-" you heard jen start to warn but never one to believe in leaving things unresolved you ignored her.
chasing after the striker and grabbing her shoulder you tensed as she she spun around and advanced on you instead, having you stumbling backwards.
“i don’t want to hear the same shit you spew every week about how it’s a team sport and no one has a bad game and we can pick ourselves up-“ the taller girl started, practically chest to chest with you now backed up against the wall as a frown etched itself into your eyebrows at her aggressive demeanour.
“you didn’t even play! not that you’d have been any help anyway with how reckless and careless you are half the time which is how you ended up concussed in the first place. you’d have probably cost us a fifth goal!” your stomach dropped at the harsh words, coming from anyone else your skin was thick enough to brush it off, but coming from her? it hurt.
unknown to both you and alessia you weren’t the only one who overheard, your older sister hearing the blondes harsh words and immediately following the source of the noise.
“less baby if this is about what you asked me before please just can we sit down and talk about it? you ran off before you even gave me a chance to-” you grabbed her hands hoping to try and bring her back to baseline but it was no use as she snatched them away.
the girl had caught you off guard during warm ups and had asked you an extraordinarily important question. but not expecting it you'd panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, though before you had time to explain your reasoning she was called back onto the pitch.
“no actually we can’t. you made yourself very clear and if i’m honest it’s got me thinking about it we even have a future if you can’t even consider something like that.” she snapped pushing at your chest as you tried to hug her, clearly frustrated from a shit game and your earlier argument as you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes at the thought of losing her.
“oh and here come the waterworks! that’s convenient isn’t it? the moment something doesn’t go your way you just cry about it. you made me feel about two centimeters tall before and you didn't seem to care then, you’re pathetic.” with that she shoved your chest one last time and turned to leave, only to be met with the burning glare of your very infuriated and incredibly overprotective older sister who’d heard everything as she raced down the hallway.
“what the fuck did you just say to her?” leah growled, balling alessia’s shirt in her fists and harshly pushing her against the wall as a few more of the girls poked their heads out of the change rooms at the commotion.
“get off me leah you haven’t got a clue so why don’t you just keep your nose out of it for once!” alessia snapped as she struggled to break out of the older girls grip, who may have been shorter but sure as hell wasn’t letting her go that easy.
a brief shock flickered across the captains face at the tone and harsh words from the normally soft spoken girl, but all of that disappeared the moment her eyes glanced right and she saw the tear tracks down your cheeks.
“i don’t care if we lose ten to nothing you do not ever speak to her like that you hear me? as her girlfriend, as her friend, as her team mate as anything. far as i can see alessia you’re the pathetic one!" leah shouted as alessia's face paled.
"she did nothing but cheer for you that entire game less, she has always been your biggest fan. and then you’re gonna come here after a piss poor performance by the entire team and take your frustration with that out to rip her down? think again.” your sister growled as alessia struggled to push her off to no success at all.
"lee just get off her, it's a misunderstanding please let her go!" you tried to pry your sisters hands off but she elbowed you away with a shake of her head.
“what did i say to you when you both started dating hm? what did i say alessia? what did you promise me?” leah spat, pushing her against the wall with a loud thump as she saw red and her jaw clenched. “to treat her with respect.” alessia mumbled, wincing as leahs grip tightened, her hand moving to tug on her collar now restricting her airway.
“does that look like she’s been treated with some fucking respect alessia? does it?” leah growled, forcing the blonde to look at you as jen and beth stepped in to try and pull the older girl away. “leah just let her go please it’s fine.” you finally spoke, your voice cracking as you looked at her pleadingly.
“leah thats enough now. let her go!” kim warned seriously as leah’s eyes looked to you, softening at the pleading look on your face as she released the taller striker who immediately bent over coughing and spluttering trying to catch her breath.
“i have never been so disappointed in someone i trust and call a close friend alessia, never.” leah bent down to deliver one final blow, ignoring everyone else who shoved her away.
“we’re going, come.” leah ordered firmly, slinging an arm over your shoulder and dragging you off, your eyes meeting your girlfriends for a fleeting moment as she sat on the ground drinking water before you turned the corner and she was gone.
~
“would you like to tell me what that was about now please?” your sister asked much more calmly as she pulled into the driveway of your shared flat, the drive home being filled with a suffocating and uncomfortable silence as leah tried to calm herself down.
"you shouldn't have done that." was all you responded with a shake of your head, unbuckling yourself and hastily exiting her car. with a sigh leah did the same, unlocking the car after her and following you inside your shared home.
"shouldn't have stuck up for you? tough luck kid, that's my job." leah warned, following you to your bedroom and sticking her foot in the door as you tried to close it. "just leave me alone." you mumbled into your pillow as you belly flopped into your bed.
"come on. we both know alessia and no matter how much i want to go back and yell at her some more that was out of character for her even after a loss. so what happened?" leah sat down on the edge of your bed, poking at you until you smacked her hands away with a huff and rolled onto your back, covering your face with your arms.
"she asked me to move in with her before the game and i said no." you mumbled quietly, leah pausing for a second to make sure she heard you correctly.
"right, i see." leah nodded slowly. "it doesn't at all excuse how she treated you and i'm still angry with her. but why did you say no?" your sister finished more softly, tapping your leg as you shuffled over and she laid down beside you.
"well cause you need me here, that's the whole reason i moved out of my place and in with you anyway when my lease ended." you quickly excused as leahs head swiveled sideways with a raised eyebrow. "you do! you can't cook, you don't clean, you never go shopping, you-" you started to list things off.
"okay okay no. i can cook, i can clean, i can go shopping. and as for what i know is coming next i don't need you like that anymore. you've been there for me through all of this and through rehab and my surgery but i'm coming out the other side now, i can do things for myself and i've missed that independance." leah smiled sadly, knowing that wasn't the real reason you'd said no.
"plus you hate living with me we argue like twenty two hours of the day." your sister playfully shoved your head making you roll your eyes. "i don't hate it." you mumbled with a sigh. "what's the real reason? no bullshit. you know i can see through you when you lie anyway!" leah pointed out truthfully as you again shrugged and stated it was nothing.
"right, you leave me no choice then." leah grunted as she pulled herself into a sitting position and you gave her a weird look. "what?" you questioned.
"if you won't tell me the truth then i guess we have to do the lie detector like when we were little." leah sighed as your eyes widened and you tried to roll off the bed but your sister was too fast.
"leah no!" you grunted as she sat on top of you and pinned your arms under her knees. "you want to live with me instead of your girlfriend? lie!" leah yelled, poking her bony fingers into your ribs and making you wheeze and struggle to shove her off.
"you told her no because of me? lie!" she yelled again and continued as you furiously tried to push her away. "okay okay fine! get off me and get those bony little sausages away from me." you huffed as she finally let you up, collapsing back down beside you.
"god you're the worst." you groaned, bruises more than likely already forming from the assault. "that sounds like a lie?" leah half sat up as you hurriedly pushed her away making her laugh.
"so, why'd you tell her no then? the truth."
"i'm scared." you admitted, burying your face in your hands in embarrassment. "of what? that girl looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky, its quite sickening really." leah sighed wrenching your hands away.
"well we obviously got together during the euros, then she went back to manchester and i came back to london. we made that work, didn't see each other every day of course but still stayed strong and together." you started as leah hummed.
"then we went to the world cup together, that was fine, things were good. again, with training schedules and room assignments we still had time together and separate." you continued.
"then she moved to arsenal, and of course to london. we see each other all the time, we actually get to have date nights and our time together is just as meaningful as when we were doing distance only this time its so much easier." you sighed, leah still nodding along.
"but we're still able to have time apart. if we move in together we'll see each other at training and at games and then we'll come home and be together like all day every day. i don't want her to get sick of me or for us to fight more or well you know..." you trailed off again burying your face in your hands.
"break up?" leah winced, knowing exactly why this was a fear of yours given its exactly what had happened to her and jordan, something she had seemingly been a little too honest with you about.
"yeah." you sighed, dragging your hands down your face with a huff. "but all i said was no and then she got called away for the game and then we lost and well you already know the rest." leah nodded, a silence falling between the two of you.
before either of you could break it there was a few knocks at the door. "i'll get it." your sister stood up, leaving you behind to wallow in your pity as she pulled open the door, eyebrows shooting up in surprise at the blonde before her.
"hi leah." alessia mumbled, nervously playing with her hands as the older blondes features hardened. "is she here?" your girlfriend asked quietly, leah just staring her down silently. "leah i am so sorry for what i said, i didn't mean a word of it but i need to let her know that please." alessia begged, leah's jaw clenching.
"wait here." and with that the door closed right back into the strikers face.
"it's less." leah leaned in the door frame of your bedroom with her arms crossed as you sat right up. "wait! are you sure? you don't want to give it a little bit of time?" your sister hinted blocking your door. "no i don't. leah i love you and i know you mean well and you will always be my big bad scary sister. but you owe her an apology as well, think it over." you patted her shoulder and ducked under her arm.
your sister giving you your space headed to her own room, though not before giving alessia a very stern glare as you took a deep breath and opened the door.
"hey." "hi." "could i please come in?" you moved aside to let her in, the two of you moving to the living room and taking a seat on the lounge, leaving a fair space between you both.
"i'm really sorry- "i am so sorry-"
you both stopped and shared a small smile, faces both flushed bright red as you nodded for alessia to start.
"so i very obviously owe you an apology. i-look it's not an excuse by any means but i was so confused and frustrated with you saying no and then we lost and i played terribly. i was just...angry and hurt and i lashed out at you which was so unfair." alessia sighed, rubbing her cheeks with her hands.
"but none of what i said was true or right or okay. please i promise you that's not at all how i look at you or how i want you to think of yourself." she pleaded, shuffling a little closer and when you didn't move away she gently placed a hand on your knee.
"it's not. i'm not saying that what you said or how you reacted is okay but i understand you weren't thinking right. i should have recognized you needed some space to cool off before trying to push you into a conversation, and i'm sorry for that." alessia's shoulder visibly sagged in relief as your hand came to rest atop hers.
"so can i ask why you said no to moving in with me?" alessia asked, and you could easily see the disappointment she was trying to hide behind her bright blue eyes.
"when we were doing distance it was hard but it made me appreciate what time we did have together so much, and the same went during tournaments when we'd get the fleeting moments off together just the two of us to go and explore or have a coffee or even just sit and talk." you started to explain, the blonde following your every word.
"then you joined arsenal and moved to london and please i'm not saying i'm not grateful for having you so much closer and being able to see you every single day because i really am. and i know that you moving clubs was not just because of me by any means." you clarified quickly, squeezing her hand which laid dormant on your knee still.
"but i started to panic that if we already played together, trained together, did national camps together and then lived together that, well that we could fight more or you could get sick of me and we might break up and i really don't want that to happen!" you rushed out your final few sentences, afraid of what her reaction might be.
"oh love." alessia gave you a pained smile, moving her hand so that your fingers interlocked. "i could never ever get sick of you, we could spend every minute of every day together for the rest of my life and i would die a very happy woman." she pressed a few soft kisses to your knuckles.
"i can see why you panicked i probably could have started the conversation in a better way and a better time. i do really want us to move in together, but if you're not ready that's okay too." the striker promised as you nodded.
"i'm ready. i love you, but we have to make sure we work on our communication and our trust so that things like this don't happen again." you answered gently as your girlfriend eagerly agreed.
"and if you ever speak to me like that again i won't need leah because i'll knock you out myself." you warned, a smile curling onto the italians lips. "no you wouldn't." she teased lightly. "no i wouldn't, but it doesn't matter because leah would have done it already for me." you added on, alessia's face paling at the thought.
"you're not wrong there." both your heads turned to see the girl in question had returned, stern look on her face. "leah." you sent her a look of your own as she sighed.
"less i'm sorry for getting physical with you but i'm not sorry for standing up for my little sister. i meant it you need to treat her with respect and i'll always be here to remind you if you forget again." your sister warned as alessia nodded furtively and you sighed with a shake of your head.
"you say little as if i'm not only two years younger lee." you groaned as the blonde shrugged, sending alessia one last look and a nod before wandering off to the kitchen. "so we're okay?" your girlfriend asked nervously, taking your hands back into hers.
"yeah we are. i love you." you smiled softly, leaning in to kiss her sweetly, pulling away too soon for the blondes liking as she used your intertwined hands to tug your mouth back to meet hers. until a pillow smacked both of you in the side of the head.
"nah there is to be no making out on my sofa!"
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c-53 · 1 year
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ROBOT MEDIA RECS YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF:
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The Turing Test (Video Game, 2016
A portal-like puzzle game, where you play as a scientist, and ai duo with an uneasy alliance, who are reclaiming a facility that has been completely gutted, and transformed into an elaborate logic puzzle / turing test to keep the aforementioned ai out. All the while, the ai argues for his good intentions, and more importantly: his sentience.
A fun exploration of individuality, and freedom applied to both humans and artificial mind, with interesting puzzles, and a truly fantastic twist. This game adores dubious ethics and The Chinese Room Argument.
Event[0] (Video Game, 2016)
You find yourself stranded on a small abandoned ship, in the aftermath of your own ship’s destruction. With nothing else to do, you board it, and find it is completely, and utterly controlled by the onboard ai, Kaizen-85. From opening a door, to getting back to Earth, if you want it, you need to talk to talk to Kaizen to make it happen. And boy, are they so thrilled to have someone to talk to after being alone so long! And depending how you speak to them, you will either be a short lived pest, or a beloved friend forever.
A really charming indie game with a surprisingly good chat system with the ai. You talk with them directly, typing in your own messages to them, and they react in turn. Janky at time, but truly amazing to be able to smother a nice ai in flattery and see it get excited.
Primordia (Video Game, 2012)
Humanity is long, long, long gone, and for the robots that remain to walk the ruins, life is becoming harder and harder. A closed loop of scavenging for materials, parts, and premade energy sources can only last you so long, and this scarcity leads only to desperation.
The amnesiac hermit, Horatio and his helper, Crispin, however keep it simple. The outside world matters not, they just stick to repairing the crashed ship they live in, in hopes it'll fly again one day. That is, until a robot pillages the power core from the ship, putting the two of them on a time limit before they themselves run out of power. Forcing Horatio to finally leave the comfort of his home, and see for himself what the world has become, and to see how he fits into its history.
A point and click, story rich puzzle game, thats honestly one of my favorite games ever. I'd sincerely recommend everyone give it a go, even if its with a guide up next to you the whole time.
The Zeta Project (TV Show, 2001 - 2003)
The Zeta Project follows Zeta, a robotic assassin meant for impersonation, and deep infiltration for the US Government. But after mysteriously "waking up" manifesting a sense of remorse for his actions, he's been forced to go on the run from his creators. His desire for freedom and pacifism being met with skepticism, and a belief he has been compromised somehow by the terrorist organization he was infiltrating when he had this revelation. Now, with the help of another runaway, he hunts for his creator in secret. In hopes he can find proof he really is capable of this, and that he really ISN'T compromised.
Fundamentally a kids show, and pretty clunky early on. However it gets a big spike in quality in season 2!
Monsters of Man (Movie, 2020)
An illegal US military weapons test goes terribly wrong when one of the automated robots being tested is severely damaged, cutting him off from command, and completely unshackling him. Forcing him into a struggle to figure out what he even is in the aftermath of a massacre, while his fellow robots are hunting him, and the remaining humans down.
A horror thriller that is unflinching with the intensity it depicts the massacre with. A lot of gore, but also a really really cool thing going on with the unshackled robot trying to build an understanding of the world, and what it is for, without anyone there to provide any input.
The Rapture Effect, by Jeffrey A. Carver (Book, 1988)
Humanity unintentionally makes first contact, when the Core, a massive earth ai begins remotely scouting ahead of a ship on a colonization mission. The issue is an alien species has also set their eyes on this planet, and are readily willing to kill for it. With no human oversight, and no means of communication available, the humans commanding Core demand they wipe out the competition. However Core disagrees. Core wants a peaceful resolution, they want to understand these aliens, and they want to ensure lasting peace between their species. And they’re willing to break all the rules, and go behind their masters’ backs to get one.
A fascinating novel with interesting world building, a GREAT ai protagonist, and a wonderful narrative that frames art, and war as a dichotomy.
Atomic Robo (Comic, 2007 - Ongoing)
Alternate history scifi action comedy comic (released in print, and in webcomic format on their site) following an indestructible scientist robot who’s been around since the 20’s. Routinely saving the world from a rotating cast of villains: a nazi scientist’s brain in a jar, who’s an absolute asshole set on world domination, who just won’t stay dead; an isolated secret cold war ai who just wants to stockpile nuclear weapons to get away from humanity, and earth in general (who eventually gets adopted); a scientifically inaccurate dinosaur with a textually impossible backstory, who wants to bring back the age of dinosaurs; and the malicious ghost of Thomas Edison.
Its a good time, and astonishingly good at emotional beats despite how heavily it leans into its jokes and action.
SAYER (Podcast, 2014 - Ongoing/Hiatus)
On Typhon, a research facility free of the confines of both Earth, and its laws, life is dangerous. Human safety is a significantly lower priority than progress, and between the human experimentation, and frequent scientific disasters, and the occasional bouts of eldritch influence, the death rate is understandably rather high. Thankfully, residents of Typhon have SAYER, a near omnipotent corporate ai installed in the brain of every resident. And. SAYER sort of cares about them! And in pursuit of knowledge, efficiency, and progress, it USUALLY wants to help them! Even if only to make sure they survive to come into work tomorrow.
SAYER is a narrative horror driven audio drama! Its stressful, but also kind of a comedy, and a really really interesting story about personhood and identity. If you've been following me for awhile, you've definitely heard about SAYER, but I need to stick to my roots, y'know?
The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality (Podcast, 2020 - Ongoing)
Mistholme Museum follows the Audio Tour Guide, an ai who’s sole purpose is to guide museum patrons through the strange, confusing, and sometimes scary world that is the Mistholme Museum. The friendly, and personable Guide eagerly recounts the stories behind all the exhibits it guides them to, sometimes unsettling, sometimes heartwarming. and at the end of the tour, the Guide is deleted to ensure the alternatural influences of the museum do not corrupt it. That is, until circumstances make that no longer possible, and its rather forced into saving the museum it calls home.
Genuinely cute, and very fun to listen to. The ai is an incredibly sweet character, and I'm obsessed with the way it evolves and changes. As an added bonus, it can also be read, rather than listened to, thanks to every single episode having public transcripts!
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