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vax-merstappen · 3 months

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Just home fluff with Max Verstappen, like a cozy Sunday

sundays are for racing (mv1)

ooh i love home fluff!! hope you enjoy this, anon!

summary: it is winter break so max is home this sunday, you decide to show him that it's okay to relax and take some time off.

It was the first weekend after the Formula 1 season had ended. You woke up in the bed you usually slept in alone to see that for the first time in a while, your boyfriend was sound asleep on the other side of the bed. It was comforting to know he was home and that everything in your life was together again.

You sat up and looked to the foot of the bed, seeing that Jimmy and Sassy were curled up between you and Max's legs. Your heart filled with joy, knowing your whole little family was back together. You closed your eyes for a few more minutes, content with your current situation. But then you had the wonderful idea to make breakfast in bed for your boyfriend. He had just finished an intense season of racing where he had won his third world championship. You wanted to do something special for him.

You stretched and climbed out of bed, making your way to the kitchen. The cats followed you and you made sure to put some food in their bowls before getting to work on breakfast for your boyfriend. After investigating the fridge, you decided on some toast and eggs, simple but tasty.

It took you a few minutes to make it, but you then assembled all of the ingredients on a tray along with a glass of milk. Pleased with the results, you went into your bedroom to find that your boyfriend was no longer in bed. Instead, Max was standing up and fully dressed in exercise gear.

"Max..." you said with a sigh. "Why are you going jogging?"

"Because I need to stay in shape," he replied, matter of factly.

"But the season just ended? Surely you can have a lazy day?"

He looked at the plate of food in your hand. "Was that for me?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd make you breakfast in bed so you could relax after the season. A breakfast of champions."

His gaze softened and he smiled at you. "Well I guess I can enjoy that before I jog."

He sat down on the bed and you sat beside him, wanting to be close to your boyfriend after being apart for so long. You were willing to spend any moment with him that you could get, even if it was just watching him eat breakfast.

"Thank you, darling. I wasn't expecting you to make me breakfast."

"Just wanted to do something nice for my handsome, incredible boyfriend. But he almost ruined it by going for a jog on what should be a lazy day," you teased.

"Who said today was supposed to be lazy?"

"I did. I always spend Sundays being lazy, you know, staying cozy in the house before I go back to work on Monday. I always relax on the couch and watch movies or your races."

He seemed thoughtful. "Well Sunday is usually the least lazy day for me. Sundays are for racing."

"Not when you're on break."

Max looked you in the eye. "Well I guess one lazy Sunday won't hurt anyone. You mentioned relaxing and watching movies?"

"I sure did."

"That doesn't sound so bad anymore."

You smiled and hugged Max as he finished the last bite of his food. "Let me show you how it's done. But first you've got to change into comfy clothes and not fitness clothes."

You grabbed his plate and set it in the sink. You could wash it later on a less lazy day. For now, you needed to complete your movie setup. You closed the curtains over the windows that the sun was shining through and you turned on your faerie lights that were strung around your living room. You grabbed the bowl of snacks you kept in the kitchen for such lazy days and set it on your coffee table. Finally, you got out your favorite comfy blankets and set them on the couch. By the time Max had returned wearing sweatpants, everything was set up.

"Wow, you have quite the movie theater", Max commented.

"I set it up since summer break," you explained. "The cozy room makes lazy days just so much better."

"I agree," Max said, joining you where you were seated on the couch. "So what movie are we watching?"

"Maybe Gran Turismo? I heard that was good?"

Max smiled at you jokingly. "I thought Sunday's weren't about racing when I'm on break?"

You rolled your eyes. "This isn't what I meant. But we can watch something else instead? Maybe Top Gun? I love that movie and it's similar to racing?"

Max nodded. "Sounds good to me."

You queued up the movie and leaned back on the couch. Max shifted closer next to you and wrapped his arm around you. You leaned your head on his shoulder and watched as the introduction to the movie began to play. With his other arm, Max grabbed your hand. You stayed together like that, simply enjoying the comfort of each other as the movie played.

---

Later that day, you and Max were now laying horizontally on the couch. Your bodies were so tangled together that getting up would be a struggle later. You were three movies into your movie marathon and you had not stood up from the couch once.

"You were right," Max mumbled into your ear.

"What do you mean?"

"Lazy days are great. Maybe I should spend less days worried about constantly training and more days curled up here with you."

"I would love that, Max."

"Just like I love you."

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen fic

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wonder2realities · 21 days

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cici's meditation guide 4 beginnerz <3

whether it's the void state or just guided meditations ; it seems like meditating is a pretty helpful thing to learn when wanting to shift/meditate. for some, they shift instantly and for others it helps them sleep better but noone ever really explains how to meditate so here's my attempt at a beginner's guide as someone who uses meditation 24/7 !

in my eyes, meditation is not only helpful for manifestation or shifting but is also just a good way to unwind after a really long day - it can be a bit scary if you aren't used to it so don't worry if you're a bit intimidated ~

as a disclaimer, i will say that meditation is all based on what works for you and what you can personally handle ! for some, they meditate for hours and for others they do 5 minute sessions - figure out what works for you and stick with it !

1. clearing your mind

this isn't a needed step but it's something that helped me a lot when i was first starting meditating and that's clearing your mind a bit before you start. you can listen to music or even watch a show, just relax a bit beforehand and don't think about anything that would cause you stress. my way of doing this is i usually write down what i want to achieve during the meditation first (am i shifting? am i just meditating to relax? am i planning on meditating and then sleeping afterwards?) and then listen to music to relax and address any thoughts or things that i feel like would distract me whilst meditating (ie : overdue assignments).

11. choosing ur method

do you like listening to music peacefully, can you focus well with it? — make a playlist of songs that you can meditate to. are you better at following instructions and can focus better on that? — find a guided meditation (personal tip ; go with a shorter one first that is just for the sake of meditation so you can get used to it). you can choose ambience, white noise or even just listen to nothing ! it's all based on what works for you ; if you don't know what works for you, test out different methods.

111. focus !!!

something that seems to be the hardest for most people is focusing, having to sit down or lay down in a position and focus can be a bit hard BUT one way of making it easier is some basic breathing exercises & i'm not talking about the ones where you hold your breathe for 20 seconds - i'm talking about the ones where you simply take deep breaths. spend as long as you wish, allowing yourself to relax until you feel like you're calm enough and then jump into what you're meditating for. for example , lets say you're meditating to manifest a day off school :

if you dont feel calm, take a few deep breaths until you feel a bit emptyheaded & allow yourself to get comfortable in that space (comfort is key !!!)

focus on wanting your day off & live in the end in whatever way you prefer (visualisation, affirmations etc) for as long as you wish !

you can drift away from your thoughts here and there and that's okay ! just don't panic and go back to focusing as you wish

remember that there's not one way of focusing , go with what vibes with you !

1111. don't think of time

now that you're focusing on what you're manifesting for, you may be thinking "how long has it been? am i on track?" — rather than worrying about the time, don't even think that time exists. allow yourself to live in a timeless space, it doesn't matter if it's been 5 minutes or 5 hours — time doesn't exist.

v. enjoy it

for whatever reason you're manifesting for, enjoy it. don't turn it into a stressful task, don't worry if you're doing it the "wrong" way — enjoy yourself & allow yourself to meditate. you cannot meditate wrong, so don't worry about that possibility and unwind.

EXTRA TIPS :

♡ if you're worrying about being disrupted during the meditation, meditate early in the morning/late at night

☆ scared of getting muscle cramps from lying down a certain way? do some stretches beforehand !

♡ struggle to be still for a set amount of time ? choose a repetitive motion and use that to replace being still (i personally rock side to side a lot, it won't make it harder for you to meditate)

thats all ~ if u have any questions feel free 2 inbox me <333

rmbr that you're forever limitless & changing ★

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punsmaster69 · 3 months

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13/JAN/20XX

"...WE GOT UP NOT THAT LONG AGO."

"WHAT ARE YOU SIGHING ABOUT ALREADY?"

"pain."

he immediately snapped around to face me with a concerned look.

"normal pain."

"WHERE AT?"

i rolled my head to the side and shifted my shoulders about. my bones popped and creaked against each other with each motion.

"..'bout everywhere thoracic and up, i'd say."

"DID YOU DO ANYTHING PARTICULARLY STRENUOUS WITH THOSE AREAS YESTERDAY?"

"nah. i'm gettin' old. random pain just happens with age."

papyrus accidentally knocked a puzzle piece under the couch. with me still on it, he tilted the couch up like it was nothing to grab the piece.

".......for most."

"you never wake up with random aches sometimes?"

"CAN'T SAY I DO."

setting the retrieved piece into place on the puzzle.

"maybe it'll hit once you're thirty."

"MAYBE IF YOU GOT MORE EXERCISE THIS WOULDN'T BE AS MUCH OF AN ISSUE."

"yeah, yeah."

i tossed myself backwards against our pillows, which had yet to be returned to our beds.

pain struck my shoulders and neck once more, sitting me back up.

"nope. can't ignore it."

"i'm gonna go take something. be right back."

"REMEMBER: IT'S THE ONES WITH THE RED LID YOU CAN TAKE."

"THOSE DON'T INTERACT WITH THE DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED ONES."

"yup."

——

doesn't matter how i lay or stretch or awkwardly position myself to try and find a less painful spot, it seems.

guess i'll try a cold pack.

——

heat pack?

——

nothing works.

cool.

——

pausing his laundry-gathering,

"IT'S STILL BOTHERING YOU?"

paps furrowed his brows as he stared at my unique positioning on the couch.

"and probably will continue to be if none of this kicks in."

"DID STRETCHING HELP AT ALL?"

"barely."

"...ALRIGHT."

seating himself on the couch and cracking his knuckles, papyrus then motioned for me to sit in front of him.

"LET'S SEE IF WE CAN POP SOMETHING. THAT USUALLY WORKS."

——

it did. the sound startled him; sockets wide, looking as if he was unsure whether he'd broken me or not.

"UH."

"that's..."

stretching with slightly less ache than before.

"better than it was."

"SHOULD I KEEP GOING, OR..?"

"you can try, but i don't think any more'll pop without more pressure."

——

more pressure being getting a certain child

teenager

child to walk across my back a few times.

it.. didn't really help, but they giggled like a maniac about it the whole time, so it wasn't entirely useless.

sighing,

"LAST RESORT IT IS, THEN."

papyrus called up grillby.

——

medication. laying down. stretching. cold. heat. massaging. back-walking. heat 𝘢𝘯𝘥 pressure massaging...

we now know.

that's what it takes to cure an aching skeleton.

...

i really 𝙖𝙢 getting old.

#undertale #journal #sans #papyrus #toriel #sans and papyrus #frisk #frisk and sans #grillby

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ddejavvu · 2 years

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for mvm can we get personal trainer hotch asking you out in the middle of your workout please? i cant stop thinking about how his hands would sprawl across your back as he helped you stretch ksjsnd

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

i'd suddenly be very into exercising if hotch was my trainer !!

"Two more," Aaron promises, one of his hands flat against your back and the other tight to your stomach, "You can do it, Y/N."

You resentfully bend your arms at the elbows and he counts off one more push-up, checking for a 90-degree angle, "Ninety-nine... One more, c'mon!"

You let yourself grunt as you complete your 100th push-up of the day, your teeth gritted as sweat beads at your forehead. As soon as you hit the mark Aaron's patting your back, and at the signal you collapse.

"Fantastic," His voice is full of pride, admiration in your drive, "I knew you could do it, you just needed a push."

"Holding my lunch over my head isn't the ideal push, Aaron." You grumble, your cheek pressed against the mat below you.

"Excuse me," He lands a harsher smack against your back, not enough to genuinely hurt you, "I didn't say you couldn't eat if you crapped out, I said I wouldn't pay for you to eat if you crapped out."

"So what," You glance up at him suspiciously, "You're buying lunch?"

"Yep," He stands far too easily, the action practically mocking your tired limbs, "There's a cafe down the street, we'll get sandwiches."

You watch as he grabs your waterbottle, and you're almost afraid he's going to spray you with it. He waits until you've scrambled onto your feet, passing the bottle off to you to chug. Your eyes drift to the tank he's wearing, the fabric thin and grainy, the cut exposing his toned arms and broad shoulders. A pair of basketball shorts hang low on his hips, and you get a nice view of his muscled thighs as he stands waiting for you.

"Like what you see?" He raises his eyebrows teasingly at you, and your cheeks burn. You turn away, embarrassed at having gotten caught ogling your personal trainer, but he doesn't push the matter, letting you live out your humiliation in peace.

"Alright," He grabs his keys from his bag, then his wallet, slipping both into his pocket, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," You admit, short of breath while your limbs ache, "Shit, carry me?"

He laughs, long and loud and whole at your joke, but stops by a bench. He stands with his back to the metal surface, jerking his head to gesture to it, "Piggyback."

"Seriously?" You marvel at his acceptance, your eyes widening as he stands waiting.

"Yes," He insists, "You did good today, Y/N."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You eagerly climb atop the bench, latching your arms around his neck rather ceremoniously and letting him lift your weight with his hands around your thighs, "You're the best."

He hoists you higher on his back, your chin hooked comfortably over his shoulder. You're sure you reek of sweat, but it doesn't seem to bother him while your blinding grin is right beside your face, "Just don't order anything too expensive at the cafe, promise?"

"Nope," You giggle in his ear, pressing your cheek against his briefly as he carries you out of the gym, "'M gonna bleed you dry, Aaron."

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motsimages · 4 months

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I am learning a lot about my body this past year, so I will share some things in case it helps other people too. It is related to back problems and back pain:

Some things, while chronic, can be improved or alliviated to the point of not being a problem anymore, not having pain or not reducing mobility in any way (maybe all of them, maybe some of them). It takes a lot of time, patience and effort but it can be achieved. I really mean A LOT of it. And knowing some things will always be there regardless. A year ago, part of my foot was numb, I couldn't stand for longer than a few seconds and my mobility was so affected that I had to choose between going to run some nearby errands and cooking or taking a shower and making the bed. I now can walk for over an hour, come back home and clean part of the house. However, today I am very physically tired because recovery takes way longer than it seems and I am doing 4 times more physical activity than any other day of the past year. This past week I have been reminding me daily that I am tired because I am still recovering and I am doing much more than before. Today I will force myself to walk as little as possible, I'm staying home.

There are things that your body considers "activity" that may explain certain feelings. For instance, it's now winter, it's colder, keeping your body warm is an activity. You don't think it is but it is, so you may need to eat more or rest more than usual. It's to be expected and it's good. Recovering from an injury is a similar thing, as it is having a chronic condition that drains energy because there is an activity you don't see but it's happening. Here is where the patience comes in. Take it easy.

Doing physical activity (if possible, with a physiotherapist or a personal trainer who adapts the exercise and level of activity to your needs) does wonders, but so does rest. Finding balance between doing things and not doing things is an art.

Regarding physical activity: a little is more than nothing. When at my worst, sometimes all I did was walk 3 meters around my bed, sit in a chair, go back to bed, maybe do some light stretching in bed. When I could do more, I added exercises or stretching. For some time, I stopped the current training routine I had and went back to the first one I ever had, which was much lighter. Mobility matters more than strength and doing it here and there at different parts of the day still counts. There are exercises you can do while laying down, there are exercises you can do while sitting. You can look up "adapted yoga" or things like that online to get ideas, but even just moving your arms up and down a couple of times or your feet in circles is already moving and it already helps a bit.

Sometimes (not always so don't force it), movement calls movement. You are feeling tired and in pain but you do some light stretches or move to the kitchen and suddenly you get less tired and with more energy. It doesn't always work, I haven't found a way of knowing when it works and when it doesn't but it happens.

The connexion between body and emotion is there. Taking care of my emotional state, trying to pay attention to myself and my needs, meditating and learning how to look at things in a different way have also done wonders for my back pain. It was anxiety and masking what brought the main injury to my back (that was already weak and prone to pain), so I am doing my best not to let it happen again.

While I do believe meditation can aliviate pain noticeably, it does require you learn how to meditate and how to relax your body (I knew how to do it before I had the worst pain in my life, so it was easier). I haven't been able to do it when the pain was so loud it was all I became, but it did help in softer moments of pain because I managed to relax the body parts not directly affected by injury. I tried to limit my pain to one specific body part and I succeeded. It wasn't easy, it may not work for everyone. (I also meditated after taking strong painkillers so that the effect of both happened more or less at the same time and created a connection in the brain. I didn't do it long enough because I didn't need painkillers for that long, but I do think it could have helped because the brain is stupid like that. Just an idea).

Paying attention to myself and my needs includes doing things I like for the sake of doing it, even if they are small, as often as possible. I tried drawing, but it requires more time and energy than I sometimes have. However, I managed to take up reading again, even if it's a couple of pages every two days. I am also getting back some things I used to like that I'd forgotten (listening to the radio, for instance). I also stop and think if I have enough energy to give to a friend when they may not be feeling ok. If the answer is no, I will check on them later, or will let them know I don't forget them at my own pace. I am learning to not dissolve myself into helping others.

All of these things are more a prevention thing. When the pain hits, take the medication and don't force anything. If you are going to be in pain regardless, when the meds are working, do something. It will at least distract the rest of the pain. Add things to do as you feel fit and if all you can do is lay down and make pain sounds, that's what you feel like, so do it. It will pass. Even if it comes back the next day or later, there will be moments of peace too.

There are some things to figure out, some may never get an answer, but at least I can now look at it in a different way. It is probably a matter of time that I have more frequent pain or less mobility than this year, but I am doing all I can to make it happen later.

I keep a "journal" of pains and sensations in a small calendar. I mark down the days I'm in pain, how strong it is, how it affects me. If at some point later on I need to go to the doctor, I can bring it with me and show him a clear statistic and evolution. It can also help me know when and how crisis happen.

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randoimago · 2 years

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Aight, Mikasa, Myron Alexius & Morgiana with a male S/O who wants to get stronger & more fit, and asks for their help because S/O is struggling to stay motivated. Then, once they start helping, S/O finally starts seeing results (muscles growing, more fit, etc.)

You interested?

Helping Male S/O Get Stronger

Fandom: Attack on Titan // Magi

Characters: Mikasa Ackerman, Morgiana, Myron Alexius

Type of Request: Headcanons

Notes: Boy do I relate to this request. I want to get more muscles cause my arms are noodles, but it’s hard to get into that motivation alone >.<

Attack on Titan

Mikasa

Would have you start off small. Basically giving you the workout routine she used when she was starting to actually try to get some muscles.

Will tell you to take breaks though. And to stretch. Getting stronger is fine, but don't destroy your body to do so.

Does keep track of your weight training progress. Will remind you too about how much you can lift now compared to when you started. She says it matter-of-factly but she is proud.

Can’t help but be amused when she hears the other guys complaining that you have more muscles than them. It just makes her even more proud of your progress.

Magi

Morgiana

Has a much more difficult time with helping you. She's always been strong so she doesn't really know what "simple" exercises to give you to help.

She's happy to watch you and tell you to "Keep going" or "You're doing well". Really just a cheerleader for you than someone to train with.

Also keeps track of your progress, letting you know that you're stronger than you were yesterday. Progress might seem slow, but you're making it!

Honestly in awe of your muscles when you get them. Hers don’t really show and she still looks tiny, but it feels like you’ve grown a few sizes due to yours. She’s a bit envious because of it.

Myron

Does her best to be very patient with encouraging you. She wants to tack onto your workout regime, but knows it's best to not push you too hard.

When you have made more progress then she'll gladly train with you. Give you a little bit of competition. Even if you're not at her level yet, it's still fun.

Brags about your progress to her siblings. You two are going to be a power couple and she wants everyone to know that.

Can’t help but poke at your muscles now and then. She’s proud your progress is showing, but it might take a bit for her to get used to it.

#attack on titan x reader #magi x reader #mikasa x reader #mikasa ackerman x reader #morgiana x reader #myron x reader #myron alexius x reader

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moviesludge · 1 year

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what I learned from my time exercising as a 260-280 pound 6'1" guy. I know this is all obvious stuff to most but it really all is as important as they say and sometimes you think you can just do whatever because you never had problems before, but I learned the hard way!

BREATHE - you keep your heartrate down and exercise doable by controlling your breathing. I didn't completely understand how important it was and almost passed out a few times (scary) because I was either unconsciously holding my breath during situps or not inhaling during the right *part* of the exercise, etc. Inhale during the tough part of the exercise!

I've always heard to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, with the emphasis being that the more often air is in your lungs on the inhale, the better (within reason obv). I have found that it doesn't always work when trying to drop my heartrate after heavy exercise. What seems to work best for me is a deep inhale and release followed by a "normal" inhale and release. When I keep doing deep inhales, my heartrate tends to increase. I gotta remember that the intent is to slow the breathing while getting adequate oxygen.

DRINK WATER BEFORE AND AFTER EXERCISING - Being hydrated affects your heartrate. I didn't hydrate enough once and my heartrate just would not come down at all after a workout. I didn't feel necessarily thirsty and started feeling tense and shaky, but once I drank some water, it came down almost immediately.

DONT OVERDO IT - Having a heart/pulse tracking device or fitness band is important. You always want to know where your heartrate is, as well as your levels of heart exertion. Most fitness bands have this broken into 4 or 5 heartrate stages. Even if you feel physically able to do the exercise at max hr, you shouldn't work in your highest exertion level for too long. You may feel discouraged and tempted to push yourself if your heartrate is struggling to do something that you've been able to do comfortably before or regularly before, but you shouldn't! It doesn't matter because there are often OTHER FACTORS AT PLAY. You could be more tired today, it could be hotter or more humid where you're working out, etc. There are other reasons you might not consider and it doesn't necessarily mean you've gotten weaker/more out of shape, so don't worry about it and ease up on the intensity to slow your heartrate down to a reasonable level

STRETCH - Warming up before a workout is important to prepare your muscles for stretching. I typically do treadmill and do calf stretches for 1 minute each.

SALT MANAGEMENT - Too much salt in a meal after a workout makes me tense and "jumpy". Like restless legs and cramps. It causes me trouble sleeping too. I've found that potassium helps. Raisins are a really concentrated form of potassium that cuts into the effects of / helps process salt. Potatoes, yogurt, and bananas work too. You can also take a potassium or magnesium supplement. If I feel a cramp coming on, I take a magnesium tablet and it gets rid of it.

EXPERIMENT - I was doing treadmill 3 days in a row regularly for almost a year and my doc told me I should be resting the day after doing treadmill once. When I finally took his advice, it was harder to exercise because I had let my body rest and it felt like I had to get back into "workout mode" again. But when I exercised 2 consecutive days, it was always easier the second day because I was riding the wave of energy I got from that first round. I don't know if there's something to what he was saying or not, but I found that it doesn't work that well for me. I have been trying different schedules of exercise since taking his advice disrupted my groove. I did 2 days on, 1 day resting, 1 day on, 1 day resting, repeat. Or 3 on 2 off. You gotta find out what works for your fitness and energy levels and the only way to know is experiment.

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offbranddrpepsi · 2 years

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NSFW ask, but how would some of the agents (mostly curious about Sova, Chamber, Cypher, and Viper) react to not quite fitting their plug inside their partner's socket, so to speak?

the first ask i answer when im just starting to feel better shall be this one as i find it very like...wholesome for a nsfw question? like alarmingly normal compared to what i normally get so lets go.

Sova would be a tad bit embarrassed. He would ensure his partner didn't feel at fault and would reassure them that these things happen. If it was a stretch issue he would be open to helping his partner do various exercises or toy play to help them get a bit more "relaxed" so to speak to make everything flow smoother. If it was a depth issue, be it being him too long or his partners bits too shallow, he wouldn't mind not sex without full penetration. He WOULD be the partner to push for the two of them to go to a doctor to get to the root of the issue to make sure there isn't anything seriously medically wrong that may need help (there is a condition for vagina havers that is basically the vagina being too shallow and making sex painful or it over contracting when stimulated).

If Sova ended up being too small he wouldn't really sweat it either. He is an incredibly resourceful man and can make things work no matter what the obstacle.

Sova really wouldn't mind using a strap on if he was too big and wouldn't mind not even doing penetrative sex if his partners body didn't agree with it. At the end of everything sex isn't that big of a deal for him,

Cypher would at first try a variety of at home remedies to assist the issue. Gradually sizing up, more lubrication, partial penetration, etc. the man would try everything at least once to see if there was a solution. He doesn't really see it as that big of an issue, yeah it's annoying but it's not going to make or break the relationship. Like Sova would want to get everything checked medically just to make sure there isn't something biological causing issues that needs more specific things to help. He is an incredibly sweet and dedicated lover so he is more than okay doing what his partner body can handle and enjoy while dealing with himself later if needed.

Be it too big or too small Cypher would go about it the same way however would be a lot more straight forward if he ended up being too small since that's easier to fix than too big AKA toys my friend toys and lots of other methods without doctor visits.

Overall Cypher, while mildly annoyed, doesn't see the incompatibility as an issue. He would also probably make jokes about it from time to time given they don't bother his partner

Chamber handles a size issue with grace. If he seemed too big he would, like the others, push for a doctor visit to make sure it wasn't anything serious as well to make sure he didn't hurt his partner by mistake. Too small and he would see what he could do toy wise or would consent to his partner seeing someone else sexually, if thats what they'd prefer, given he approves of them as well as the relationship. The sniper is really adjustable and flexible and will suggest various ideas until him and his partner settle on one that works for them. On the big end he would let it fuel his ego but would also make sure the blame is entirely on him. Too small he would do similar but would prove he could make up for it in other ways. He is here to please his partner and will take whatever measure he can to do that, putting them before himself

Overall Chamber looks for a mutual solution that works mostly for his partner but would also like some benefit himself. He isn't someone who really sweats the little things like this and still considers both himself and his partner perfect in every way. Chamber would be a tad down about them not being perfect together but also is aware somethings are only perfect on their own.

Viper examines her partner and herself to make sure there isn't any injury or outside issue. The woman is incredibly thorough with everything but also very blunt that this is just how it is sometimes. If it's a strap on issue then she simply buys a smaller one or a variety of sizes to try until one fits well. If her partner's "equipment" causes her issues then she is instructing them the best way to please her without penetration or is asking if they'd be comfortable using a strap on on her. Viper is probably the person who makes the least of a deal about some size or fit issue, seeing it as just something dumb to be upset over. She wouldn't push for them to see other people unless her partner was very into penetrative sex, in that case she would probably break it off with them.

TLDR Viper doesn't have time for worrying about bits, she simply finds a solution and moves on with her life.

#chamber valorant #cypher valorant #valorant headcanons #valorant #naughty #valorant sova #viper valorant

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pathwinding · 8 months

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Jewitch Self-Analysis: Meaning

It's interesting to me how existentialism often results in depressive attitudes. The epiphany of "nothing I do matters" and "I am so tiny and irrelevant in this fathomless universe" crashes down on the human mind and leaves a person in misery. Why is this the emotional reaction to this concept?

I could probably do an entire research article on this, but for now: My scientific hypothesis is that existentialism damages a person's internal locus of control. If you believe that nothing you do makes a difference, then your self-esteem crashes, followed by the rest of your mental health. Traditionally the concept of locus of control is applied to making a difference in your own life, but I would argue that our definition of what is our "own" life is broader than direct, one-on-one experiences. In this modern world, we have records of ancient people and can see how we are still affected by them, so we can see their life as still continuing. We see fossils and story spinoffs and butterfly effects, and feel our lives stretch beyond what we directly observe.

At the same time, we are conceptualizing just how huge the universe is. Those butterfly effects don't reach the scale of changing the movement of the stars, nor do they change the fact that space is too huge and constantly-expanding for reasonable space travel. Even if there are other sentient beings in the cosmos, it is unlikely they would find our planet before it is one day inevitably obliterated by our sun, ruining any archeological remains they could have found. This is our world, our life, and we will all be forgotten one day.

Feels pretty destructive to the internal locus of control.

The answer to existentialism seems to be to find meaning, someway somehow. This requires a pivot from science to philosophy. My philosophical hypothesis is that meaning is a concept by and for humans. We create the meaning that gives us the internal locus of control we need to keep us going. And that meaning usually looks like connections to the world around us, the spreading of that abstract concept of our "individual life" that caused some of the problem to begin with. I would call this spirituality.

Spirituality. Whatever path you take, each of them is full of those immaterial, abstract concepts that we humans crave. Afterlives, promises, patterns, good and bad fortune, connection and harmony with other beings... The sorts of abstract concepts that, as I argue, humans need to function.

Now, before I get into my own specific self-analysis, I will bring up how spirituality often involves deity/ies. One could argue that the very idea of deities also attacks the internal locus of control, because it presupposes a higher power affecting your life instead of you doing so yourself. The difference is that, as I see it, religions outline methods you can use to affect your life by affecting the higher power. Perhaps you do this through direct communication with your deity, or by performing sacrifices or good deeds. In this way, you are exercising internal control. Certainly, there are those who end up completely externalizing their locus of control to their perceived deity, feeling that no matter what they do their deity doesn't care or will act against them. This can be hazardous to their mental health. But this is not a universal problem, and so deity worship does not inherently damage the internal locus of control.

So for the self-analysis, once again analyzing why Jewitchery is something I'm looking towards.

For me, meaning is often found in acting spiritually. Not exclusively, but on the whole it is very fulfilling when I complete mitzvot, and work towards communing with nature. To visualize the flow of energy, and to practice divination. To blow my shofar, and indirectly kiss the Torah as it passes by. To share these experiences with others, and through them find a community.

I look at these examples, and think that perhaps I don't need both Judaism and magic to feel fulfilled. Certainly, I can gain meaning and community from either alone. And it would not cause great harm for me to let my participation in one lapse.

But that feels like saying there is no reason to eat both honeydew and cantaloupe, because both are sweet melons that can satisfy a craving. Maybe, but they are different and appeal to me in different ways. And if I really want a particular flavor, the other won't really be truly satisfying. It would be more of a "meh, good enough."

I am also a multi-faceted human being who has the privilege of living in a society where I can (generally) pursue all of who I am. I can ignore a part of me if there is need to, but if there is no danger which may prompt that need then why should I? And, besides, it is generally considered good practice to not put all your eggs in one basket, psychologically-speaking. If I have a crisis of faith in either Judaism or magic, I will have the other to help prop me up as I work through it (and also the skepticism, but that's irrelevant for this point).

Balance is good in all things, especially in what gives you meaning and a locus of control.

#pathwinding #Jewitch #jewitch self-analysis #meaning #spirituality

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bakurapika · 1 year

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cannot recommend highly enough as a grown-up to learn new little hobbies and come back to things you could do as a kid

i'm learning how to play go (yes, because of manga) - i had tried as a kid, and I remember the desperate searching through local stores to find anything related - back when even buying something on eBay was still sketchy enough for a credit-card-owning parent to be hesitant. i'm bad! but the absolute rush from beating the AI on the easiest setting - the glee when watching beginner guides and realizing that i already knew that term - i was able to solve that problem

when i was 11, i got a clarinet - i went for one year to a fancy school (expensive tuition but discounted because my mom worked for them) where you were required to buy and play an instrument for music class. I liked the saxophone, but clarinets were much cheaper and money was tight.

I'd had to take music lessons of various types through my childhood, and now as an adult i realize that the reason i struggled so much was that grown-up instruments are made for grown-up hands! playing chords on the piano or guitar made my fingers hurt, and I was told I would get over it if I practiced enough - but I didn't mean "callouses," I meant "my fingers can't stretch that far without pain and discomfort." (as an adult, if I play guitar, I play my 7/8th size cordoba, and even that isn't as easy as it could be.)

all that to say, i grew to dislike any musical instrument that played chords. reeds are a whole other beast, and i don't know what I learned as a kid (embouchure??), but I've always been able to pull that clarinet out and at the very least make some musical sounds come out of it. which i got the urge to do recently. I'm still not living alone but I've been sneaking time to play. and i bought new reeds for the first time since 2005.

i was squeaky as hell of course! even with the new reeds, still embarrassingly so! but i've been playing just for the fun of it when I feel like it. and I realized yesterday when I squeaked that it was the first time I'd done it that day after a half hour or so of fiddling around, where even 2 weeks ago, i was squeaking every minute at least. And I can comfortably reach lower notes because I'm adjusting my breath the right way to do so, without having been intentionally practicing.

I know this is getting long. my point is just

a reminder to myself as much as anything else. going back to being bad at something seems embarrassing. you don't need to be able to perform it (while being allowed to show off if you want to, in a space that you think will get positivity)

and somehow that being-bad allows for some really cool surges of excitement and surprise when you are already so much better!

when i briefly was actually in the habit of exercising and found i was much stronger than i had been, had more muscles than before, even though I was barely working a sweat, my friend told me those are called "noob gains" by the bodybuilding community. i'm stealing that. i want noob gains in everything. to put in that little bit of effort to learn the ropes and get better!

it doesn't matter if i don't ever play go again in my life, if I get bored with it tomorrow. I still had fun, genuine pride, feeling like I learned something new. and we never leave these things behind, not really. my mouth still knows how to put noise into clarinet. if in 20 years i want to join an orchestra, i can start intensive training then. and i'll be able to do that because for a week or two, every once in a long while, I picked it up and had fun with it

#started to get on ambien for this so uhhh not proofread #but i hope my thoughts made it to you #mine #tagged sober the next day bc i like it and the mine tag is for writing/art/etc

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singingshutin · 2 years

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Well, I tried.

I tried my darndest.

The result is mediocre at best, but have my best attempt at 'fixing' Ignatz's and Lysithea's support chain. I suppose I'd call this a B+ support with some light contextual padding involving the other Deer?

(I am so sorry Ignatz and fellow Ignatz lovers out there: writing this from her point of view made the most sense and each time I dissed my boy I felt it in my heart, dude. I'm in pain right now.)

hilda is his big sister and i will live, breathe, fight, and die on this hill

Read here on a03 or down below the cut-

Lysithea hates hot days. She hates the feeling of sweat trickling down her forehead into her eyes; hates the cloying smell of the candles in the entrance hall. She hates the constant bustle of the harvest, filling the monastery with crowds of new people who all - without exception - treat her like a child.

She hates that most of all. How anyone could stand being patronized and assisted at every turn, she didn’t know. To be treated as lesser. As weaker. That she could never understand.

As if on cue, the painter she doesn’t understand rounds the corner, and he offers her an all-too-cheery wave.

“Oh, hey.” She doesn’t bother to wave back. “It's you. Going for a walk again today?”

He shakes his head. “No, I'm on cooking duty today, and I have to head into town for some groceries.”

“All on your own?” Lysithea puts her hands on her hips. “Hm, I'd better go with you. I'd be worried if you went by yourself.”

“No, please! I can manage on my own.”

“But won't you have a hard time carrying everything back?”

“Not at all. I'll be fine. I'm just replacing a few ingredients. Also, I may not look it, but I'm actually quite strong.” He holds up an arm, pride beaming from his smile. “I've been exercising every day!”

“You're right-” Lysithea crosses her arms, “you don't look it. Your biceps are a fraction of the size of Raphael's. If you start fumbling around under the weight of all the groceries, and then you trip and spill everything everywhere…”

Ignatz’s arm and smile have both dropped. Lysithea shrugs.

“Look, I'm just saying, that could be your future. It could happen. It doesn't look pretty.”

He looks down toward his shoes. “That's what you think of me, huh?”

“Yep. You're honestly a bit of a mess.”

“I see.” The painter lifts his head. “If that's how you feel…”

Lysithea feels her lip curling up, and she does nothing to fight the disdain. “Oh, knock it off with the wounded puppy-dog eyes! As though I'm some sort of villain in your story…”

“I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention. I'm just a bit sensitive, that's all.”

Of course he is.

“You're talking like you don't respect me.”

Lysithea snorts. “I see. So now it's my fault? No matter how grown you seem to think you are, there's so much you're incapable of. You can play at being a mature adult, but it only ever complicates things. And that's exactly what makes you look like a child.”

“Oh, enough already!”

Lysithea has never heard Ignatz yell before. The sound is startling and shrill, grating in a way she never expected his soft voice to be. She’s never seen him angry before, either - his eyes hot and face flushed as he clenches his hands to his chest.

“Would you just leave me alone?!”

The boy turns and darts away- and for a moment, his eyelashes glitter with a wetness that wasn’t there before.

A long moment of silence hangs over Lysithea as she stands alone. Finally, words return to her tongue.

“Maybe I… went a bit far that time…”

She shakes her head.

“But he's so stubborn despite his ineptitude. I can't just leave it be. He's so foolish—constantly making a mess of things. Wait... But then... No matter how much we stretch, some things are always beyond us. I think it's fine to be vulnerable and ask for help sometimes. What he said to me before…”

She stops.

“To everyone else, do I seem just like Ignatz?”

Lysithea von Ordelia wasn’t in trouble - at least, not yet.

It seemed that despite Ignatz’s many shortcomings - the artist was indecisive, absent-minded, and woefully inadequate at any attempt to care for himself - he wasn’t a tattletale. Though, Lysithea thought, that probably had more to do with his scaredy-cat nature than anything else. The kid acted like a baby at the sound of thunder. The first and last time he’d ever been on a pegasus ended in an emergency trip to the infirmary when he’d panicked and flailed himself off the animal mid-flight, leaving him concussed, confused, and blind as a bat without his glasses - and the rest of class time had been wasted in a house-wide search on hands and knees in the grass for the blasted things.

Ridiculous.

But he would crack. Eventually, he would crack.

Lysithea sighed, leaning her head on her hand. At the very least, a good tongue-lashing from the Professor and Manuela would mean Lysithea wouldn’t have to sit with this strange heaviness in her chest anymore.

She could move on.

One day passed. Ignatz was nowhere to be found. No one said anything about it, not even the Professor. Leonie was put on cooking duty in his stead that night; at least she used less vegetables than her predecessor did. Still not enough sweets… but Lysithea wasn’t sure she had the stomach for cake today, anyway.

One day turned into two. Ignatz’s seat at the front of the lecture hall was still empty. The Professor reminded everyone to be careful- winter was just around the corner, she didn’t want to worry about anyone getting sick due to changes in the weather. Like always, Marianne excused herself after class- though Lysithea was pretty sure that the stables were in the opposite direction of the lower student dormitories. Where Ignatz’s room was.

Two days turned to three. Claude was sitting in Ignatz’s seat today, lounging comfortably like he had been in that spot all year. His own usual place next to Hilda in the back- well, the door creaked open a few minutes into the lecture, and Lysithea ducked her head to peek. There was Ignatz, somehow even smaller and paler than she remembered, being shepherded toward Hilda by an unusually solemn Lorenz. Hilda pulled him down to sit beside her and bumped her cheek gently against his shoulder.

Three days turned to a full week - and Lysithea realized she hadn’t seen Ignatz in the dining hall for a while. Raphael shrugged it off when she asked him why he was leaving the dining hall with two plates- one specifically full of his best friend’s favorite foods. As her fellow student disappeared out into the late morning, Lysithea found herself wondering how much of it Ignatz would actually eat.

Soon, an entire moon had passed. And still, no one had come to reprimand her for her outburst.

She hadn’t moved on.

Ignatz wasn’t in the library. He wasn’t in the stables. He wasn’t in the cathedral. He wasn’t in the training grounds, or the sauna, or market. The infirmary only held a tipsy Manuela, and the knight’s hall had an arguing Catherine and Shamir- but no sign of the be-spectacled artist.

At this rate, all the courage Lysithea had summoned over lunch was going to dissipate before dinner. She shook her head as she pushed open the door to the greenhouse-

"There you are!"

The boy crouched on the floor with a sketchbook jumped like he’d been struck by a bolt of lightning.

"L-Lysithea-"

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

It was ever so slightly, but Lysithea could still see it: Ignatz had paled at that statement.

"Ah," was all he said.

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two. The artist stared down at the ground, hunched over his sketchbook like he was hiding something naughty.

Lysithea took a step forward. "What are you drawing?” She tried. “Flowers?"

"I'm not drawing." He clutched the papers a little closer to his chest.

"You've got charcoal on your hands," she pointed out, "you've been drawing."

He gulped, turning wide, frightened eyes to face her.

"I- it isn't anything important."

"Can I see?"

"U-uh-"

He hadn't said no.

Lysithea walked over next to him, peering over his shoulder. He scrunched down a little lower, but his narrow frame couldn't hide the massive bouquet of flowers sprawled across the page. One huge lily was the centerpiece, entangled in a rich bundle of baby's breath and forget-me-nots. A doodle of a bumblebee, as fuzzy and soft and round as the real thing, sat sleepily on the lily's petals, resting delicate legs against the flower's elegant throat.

Lysithea's breath caught in her throat. "That's- really good."

"It's… not done yet." The boy fidgeted. "I wanted it to be finished first… before you saw it, I mean."

"Before I saw it?"

Ignatz nodded once, somehow shrinking even further into his uniform. "Lilies are your favorite, I thought, a-and I wanted to get it perfect-"

“They look done to me.”

"My shading isn't right-" The boy shook himself. "But- I guess that doesn't matter anymore."

Lysithea glanced up. Now was the perfect time to say it. She opened her lips; and all of a sudden, her mouth felt drier than the Sreng desert. The two were just staring at each other. Funny- Ignatz’s ears were bright pink, she noticed, the same color as the carnations behind him.

Then, like a water through a broken dam, the words came tumbling out of his mouth. “I wanted to apologize- for yelling! I shouldn’t have yelled at you before-”

Lysithea's mouth dropped open and she stared at the red faced boy on the ground in front of her. He - Ignatz Victor - was apologizing to her - Lysithea von Ordelia?

Surely she had heard him wrong.

“That’s what the flowers were supposed to be for. And-" Ignatz dove into his bag, rummaging frantically, "and I asked Hilda what perfume she wears, and she helped me find some. It took a month for it to arrive in the caravan, but-"

"Stop it, Ignatz."

Ignatz froze, clutching the tiny crystal bottle to his chest. “S-sorry.”

"No, just-” Lysithea bit her lip. “Listen. Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

Ignatz stared down at the ground. "I just wanted to apologize properly."

“Oh, Goddess-" Lysithea pressed her palms into her eyes. "If you were literally anyone else, I’d think you were doing this on purpose.”

“Doing- what?”

She dragged her hands down her face and blinked at him through her fingers. "Just- piling on the guilt."

The painter blanched. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Stop saying that."

Like magic, Ignatz fell silent.

Lysithea looked down at her hands. "Stop saying it, because… um…"

She swallowed hard.

"Because I'm the one who needs to apologize."

Her face flared hot at the look of shock on his.

"I- I yelled at you first. And- and I said some really… really awful things. To you. About you- just because I was mad. And- I felt like it, in the moment… I called you an incapable child."

He winced.

"And-" she pushed on, "and I was going to let it go. I was going to let it sit and not say anything because, surely, the Professor would find out and scold me, and then I'd be done. But that didn't happen."

There was the apology, forming on his lips; she cut him off before he could start up again.

"And it's good that it didn't happen. Because I would have forgotten it. Like a child, I would have let it go- when… a real adult would say sorry."

She took a deep breath.

"And I am. I'm really, really sorry."

He stared at her, his brown eyes like saucers in his thin face.

Lysithea's heart sunk into her shoes. The thought hadn't crossed her mind until now, but- he wasn't going to forgive her, was he?

She deserved that, she supposed. After all she'd said-

"...can I still give you the perfume?" Ignatz held out the crystal bottle with a shy smile. "I won't use it… and I'd like you to have it. As a token of- my forgiveness? Though…" He flushed. "That sounds silly- a token of our friendship."

A wave of relief crashed into Lysithea's knotted stomach and she smiled back, reaching for the pink vial. "Thank you."

Ignatz paled as she pulled away. "Wait-"

She looked down. A dark line of charcoal was smeared across her little finger, right where her hand had brushed his.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Stop it." Lysithea rubbed her hand on her dress. "See? Gone. Can't even tell against the black uniform."

She dropped to sit next to him, and her hair fell over his shoulder. Normally, she would have avoided sitting that close to anyone- it made her look even smaller by comparison. But today- today it would be okay.

He tapped his paper. "I still want to finish this before I give it to you, though."

"Can I watch?"

"Oh- um…" He blushed. "If you want to. I'm not sure it'll be much fun-"

"I'm too tired for fun right now, I think."

They smiled at each other.

"Me too."

The two sat in silence as Ignatz's stick of charcoal slid across the page with a gentle scratch- but this was different than before. This was mutual. Comfortable. Calming and soothing in their togetherness.

A little thought bubbled up in Lysithea's brain.

"I've been thinking." Lysithea turned to look up at the boy sitting beside her.

His hand paused and he tilted his head at her. "Yes?"

"Maybe… maybe I should try something new. Something I'm- not… good at… right away. And- and learn how to accept help."

Ignatz shifted slightly. "...I could teach you how to paint."

Lysithea looked up. "Huh?"

"I could teach you how to paint," Ignatz repeated, pushing his glasses up his nose with an excited twitch Lysithea hadn't seen in a long, long time. "If you wanted to, of course, but for something new- something different… something I can help you with-"

He stopped, a blush shooting up his neck into his cheeks.

"Not that I think you'll be bad at it, I just meant-"

"I think I'd like that."

Lysithea smiled.

"Thanks, Ignatz."

It’s been a while.

Lysithea looks up at Ignatz’s bedroom door. She can hear him on the other side, humming pleasantly to himself as he muddles about the room. He’s got a nice voice, she thinks. It isn’t clear and full from years of training like Manuela’s, or bright and soaring like Hilda’s. It's soft, and a bit wavery on low notes, but it's warm and sure. Like an old, familiar hug after a long journey.

She puts her hand on the door, and it gives beneath her fingers.

“Um, hey…”

“Oh! Lysithea.” Ignatz turns with a smile. “Something I can do for you?”

“Can you help me out with my shopping?”

“Yes, of course. You need me to carry stuff?”

“Actually, can you pick up some tea for me? I'd do it, but I'm drowning in work.”

”You're so busy you can't go shopping? OK. Do you have a favorite kind of tea?”

“I'm not too picky. I just like having it around, really. Whatever's cheapest works for me." She holds out a palmful of gold. "Here's some money.”

Ignatz doesn’t accept the coins. “One question. Why me? You don't really need my help for this.”

“I just thought I could lean on you a bit. You know,” a smile creeps across her lips, “rather than trying to do everything on my own.”

“Right. I see. Well, good! I'm glad you decided to approach me.” That old familiar blush crosses his cheeks. “Ah, but, for this particular task, you might be better off doing it yourself.”

“Oh?”

“There are so many different kinds of tea, and I'm not very discerning." He rubs a hand against the back of his head. "What if I get you one you don't like? When I do my own shopping, I pick a tea at random. Otherwise I'd be paralyzed by all the choices. It's the same with food. Sometimes I stare and stare at the options and never decide.”

That, Lysithea thinks, is a burden I can take off his plate- and put some cake on it instead.

Aloud, she adds,“You looked like you were just fine when you went to get groceries the other day.”

“I really had to push myself to do that alone. I don't think I can do that again.” His head dips ever so slightly. “Sorry…”

Lysithea pockets the gold with a half-smile. “Aha. So you've stopped trying to do things on your own, then?”

“Yeah. Still, though…” he looks around the room. “For today, how about you have some of my tea? If that'll do…”

“Sounds nice, sure. Do you mind brewing mine while you're at it?”

“OK!” He grins. “Though I can't do it as skillfully as Lorenz, I'm afraid. I'll get it ready right away. Feel free to start focusing on your work.”

His smile still has a hint of the nervous boy from years earlier. He hasn’t changed completely.

Lysithea smiles down at the worn carpet on his floor. “Heh.”

Ignatz tilts his head at her. “What?”

“I mean," she glances up at him, "you seem plenty reliable to me.”

“I do? Really? How so?”

“You're fun, you're easy to be around, and you rarely complain when you help others.”

Ignatz chuckles. He has a pleasant laugh; gentle and sweet. “Well, I'm just pouring you some tea. I'm not sure that qualifies as ‘help.’”

Lysithea isn't going to let him deflect praise this time. She leans forward, an insistent gleam in her eyes. “It's not easy for me to rely on people, but with you, it's different.”

“Well, there aren't many things I can do, frankly."

Lysithea furrows her brows at him with an exaggerated frown. He laughs outright at that, raising his hands in a gesture of placation.

"What I can do, I will do! So if you need anything, ask me, and I'll try to help.”

Hmph. Verbal praise does very little for her artistic friend, it seems. If he won't take it, then-

She sighs.

Ah, well. What was the harm in one childish action?

Like a cat, she pounces. She throws herself at him, squeezing his ribcage as tightly as her weak arms could manage.

This will have to do.

“You really are unreliable, as it turns out!" She laments,"Guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

Ignatz laughs again- and this time the rumble in his chest tickles against her nose. A gentle pressure slides around her waist: it's his arms, she realizes. Strong despite their slenderness, he's returning her embrace. He's hugging her back.

Lysithea can't stop the hot flush of embarrassment. This is so undignified. So immature. So unlike the perfect image she has worked so hard to cultivate.

And yet, she thinks, she doesn't really mind.

#fire emblem three houses #ignatz victor #lysithea von ordelia #and other assorted golden deer #idk man i tried my best #she's so mean to him #and for literally no reason whatsoever #yes he's my favorite guy but also like #i think unless you actively dislike the little guy you'd agree their support is unnecessarily mean #i thought about rewriting it entirely but i had no good ideas

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loorain · 6 months

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Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Relationships

While Sigrid was out and after school hours, Sabrina and Robin took the kids to visit one of the other next-door neighbors who recently moved into the area. As usual, Audrey and Juno were quick to introduce themselves to the youngest member of the family, but little Abram seemed less than thrilled to have visitors 😆

By the time the group returns to the Legacy House, Sigrid is already back and changed for a workout.

Sigrid: Aha, there you guys are! It was odd returning to a quiet house without the littles here!

Sabrina chuckles.

Sabrina: We went and spent some time at the Meskins' house. Nothing too crazy.

Robin greets his fiancée.

Robin: Hey, how'd everything go?

Sigrid: Space is coming along. Anya says hi.

Robin: Love to hear more about it, but looks like you're about to get a workout sesh in.

Sigrid: Want to join me for a quick jog? We can chat after?

Robin: Sure.

Once Robin changed, the couple had a very chill evening jog. Being able to bond over their shared love of exercise is helping these two fix the distance they've been feeling between each other, which has been taking a mostly silent toll on their relationship.

And after returning, putting the kids to bed, and showering, they get another quiet moment together.

Sigrid: ...and the ceremony space is really coming together. It's so nice and peaceful and intimate. Anya and I went in there and were blown away, and it's not even fully done up yet.

Robin: That's awesome! I can't wait to see it for myself. Did you and Anya get some time to catch up?

Sigrid: Yeah, she said Colt's been moping around the house lately because he and his girlfriend broke up. Poor thing.

Robin: Ah yes, the growing pains of teenagedom. Seems like just yesterday we were in high school together, falling in love.

Sigrid: It may feel like yesterday for you, but it feels like centuries for me.

Robin: Why is that?

Sigrid: Robin, so much has changed since we were those two lovestruck teenagers. I've certainly changed a lot. My body feels it.

Robin: You look great as always, my love.

Sigrid: Doesn't change the fact that I'm not getting any younger. Teenage Sigrid seems so foreign to me. She was slim and in shape, full of energy, and had a natural bite to her. Now? All these new rolls and stretch marks, aches and pains while chasing around two toddlers. I don't know... they always say motherhood changes you, and for better and worse it definitely has changed me.

Robin: Do you have any regrets?

Sigrid: Not regrets per se. I love the girls and I love motherhood despite its hardships. I love being a part of a family. I just... I don't know. Sometimes I worry that I'm losing myself in the process.

Robin: It's not been easy. I can see that. I still hope I've been doing what I can to make it easier for you.

Sigrid: You're a great father. The girls love you to bits, that much is evident. You're so attentive and hardworking, and I know they'll continue to love you so deeply as a result of that.

Robin: But what about with you?

Sigrid falters before breathing through her nose audibly.

Sigrid: I love you. I love what we've created together. Things have been hectic ever since the pregnancy but you've always encouraged me and doted on me in any way you could.

Robin: But...?

Sigrid: I don't know if there's really a "but". I just think that things are different than they once were. That's life. I just want to continue being intentional with one another so there's never a point where we begin to resent one another.

Robin: Are you worried that'll happen?

Sigrid: I-I don't know, maybe? I'm just saying it's important to me that we don't allow ourselves to be in that sort of situation. Keep open dialogue. Talk through things.

With that, Robin himself takes a moment to mull over Sigrid's words before responding.

Robin: Sometimes... I'm worried I can't give you everything you need no matter how hard I try. There's always going to be something you're missing.

Sigrid: Why do you feel that way?

Robin: Sometimes you get so sad... and it's hard bringing you out of that. And you know, me being asexual and all, I also worry that you're missing some forms of intimacy that I'm not always able to give you.

Sigrid: You know I've always been supportive of you. We don't need that to enjoy intimacy. I don't want you to feel responsible or guilty about that, ever.

Robin sits up on his knees, turning towards her.

Robin: We can't pretend that it may not affect us, though. I don't want anything driving a wedge between us.

Sigrid: Robin, I love you. We're getting married. We have two kids. If you being asexual was an issue, something you confessed to me very early in our relationship, we wouldn't be where we are today.

Robin sighs and nods softly.

Robin: If you're sure.

Sigrid: I am.

Robin: Okay.

Robin pulls Sigrid in close for a hug.

Robin: I can't wait to marry you.

Sigrid: I can't wait to marry you, too.

#sims 4 fontenot legacy #sims 4 legacy challenge #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 #sims 4 modded #simblr #ts4 #ts4 simblr

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badheart · 9 months

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"...Let me see your wrist," Ryuto calmly orders while extending a gloved palm out towards Fang. Of course, it didn't manage to slip his notice she seemed to be putting the most strain on her wrist, so naturally, he would bring it upon himself to inspect the joints to see how truly bad it was.

...The moment she does, however, he would flip her hand over until it was facing palm up, and within seconds, idly runs his thumb along the areas she must have mostly abused before sighing. "It doesn't seem you have fallen recently, but I do have to question what measures you have recently taken to combat your carpal tunnel. For instance, have you taken breaks and done any stretches at all? I wager you either draw or play stringed instruments... but regardless, you aren't a child anymore, so you should be taking better care of yourself, Gao-san. How many times must I tell you... 'everything in moderation'?" Ryuto then proceeds to sternly nag.

...Needless to say, someone certainly had no qualms, calling her out; in fact, one might even compare him to a old man, since he wasn't even using language befitting of a boy his age.

At first she had regretted to complain right in front of him, considering he was supposed to like her and not get even more annoyed about her, but it actually caused the opposite effect (much to her joy).

Luckily he was not monitoring her heart rate, though with his fingers on her wrist, he may caught on her quickening pulse after all, but the gloves may made it impossible. Whatever, her rosy cheeks were a reaction Kobato could only continue to dream about, as already such simple touch from Ryuto sparked such reaction from her. A small gasp escaped her, when he flipped her hand. Something about it was terribly erotic, but she was not thinking too straight near him anyway. In the past such simple touches would not have sparked anything in her, but since her lower half was basically useless, other spots on her body had gotten more sensitive, or always were but they had never received any attention before.

Fang bit her lip, just a little, when he began to move his thumb along her wrist, over the prominent veins. It tickled just a little bit. "Huh, my what?" Pulled out of her thoughts, she was faced with the possible consequence of developing the carpal tunnel syndrome, if she continued to strain her wrist with her hobby and job. "I don't want that," she huffed, and she actually had heard of it, but never thought that she could potentially develop it too. It really should not surprise her but to get even more issues tied to her body almost distressed her. "But, I'm only good at drawing," she mumbled as she did not want to stop after all. Most of her days she spent drawing, be it for work or for personal stuff.

She pulled her hand away, looking down at her wrist. "..." Well, she knew that he had not told her to stop, but clearly she was supposed to reduce her time on her hobby. There sure had been signs at times, when her fingers felt a little bit cold, just a bit numb perhaps. It was scary, considering she did not want to lose the only skill she had left. Perhaps, she should learn to draw with her right hand... but she could not even draw a straight line with that hand. "What kinda exercises?" she asked in the end and looked up at him with a pleading look, proving that her health in this matter was quite important to her.

#╳ ——「 query.」#causalitylinked #fang: ... you do know you can call me fang 😤no reason to remain formal ...#fang sure would be devastated to get more and more problems with her wrist #so she will listen #fang: better touch it again tho ... this heals me too

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frogsandfries · 9 months

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I feel so stupid

I'm sitting here crying over a fanfic.

I know what an anathema Rowling has made her own franchise, but that doesn't take back my childhood. Hermione was one of the first characters I ever really saw myself in. And this stupid fic feels so much more real to the Harry Potter universe than the end of the Deathly Hallows. Hermione, the smartest witch in her class, her niche driving her into isolation from her friends--when I was in high school, I took the classes I was interested in, which meant I didn't really get to be with my friends. Even in college, my friends seemed to be in one area while I was somewhere else. And I have no fucking idea how to leave the house to find some club or group or somewhere to hang out where I can learn or enjoy a hobby--where do graphic novel artists meet in a Thursday evening to, like, critique each other's stories or linework or development in their colorwork or whatever?

It's not........ fucking fair, that she doesn't have to be alone and this fictional character gets to have hot lusty sex while I haven't lusted for someone, well, okay--apart from that one time, that was like five years ago. But before that was like eight years ago.

I feel like such a freak. I always manage to find the most abusive person possible. Why would a normal, not-abusive person want anything to do with me?

I just want senpai to notice me, but why do I even care? Neither of us is going to move across the country for the other. I love living here. Like, I really love it.

Do I even believe in romance? Maybe that's my problem. If I held out for romantic love, I would just be alone, so I settle. That's the problem, the difference between fiction and reality. No one is going to shove you into the arms of your lover so you can have a steamy enemies to lovers arc. I don't even feel like I had any real enemies in high school. Even in high school, nobody really knew I existed, let alone cared.

Currently, I have three people who, if I didn't message them for a week, would even know anything was wrong.

Just one time, I want someone to be slightly obsessed with me and want to tear my clothes off when we're in the same room. Just one time, I want someone who would jump through flaming hoops or some shit for me. Just one time, I want someone to make me a thoughtful, beautiful lunch and tell the whole internet, like, I know she likes extra watercress on her lox bagel.

I don't think anyone I've been in a relationship has ever noticed or appreciated things about me. That's fucked up.

The problem is, I don't love myself enough to filter for quality. I'm desperate for the first thing that comes along. I don't need to be desperate anymore. For the first time in my adult life, I'm fully independent. I have my own apartment. I have my own job which I can stomach well enough until I can net something else, like trainer maybe. Something more interesting. This job has plenty of opportunities. I don't need to glom on to the first thing that comes along.

I'm really working on myself. I'm focusing on my health, trying to integrate little exercises into my morning, and stretching, forcing myself to go out of the apartment when I have a few bucks to spare, even though it's been over a hundred degrees when I get off work. I've been working on the graphic novel--on the script material, on coloring, on my lineworks.

For the first time since I moved to New Mexico, I feel motivated to work on my graphic novel, I feel focused. I don't feel judged and like I have to be slightly vigilant, one ear open.

I dunno, does it matter if I don't believe in steamy, lustful romance? Isn't it more important to have a good companionship, partnership, to be compatible to live together? Sex isn't an entire relationship. Lust just causes a sunk cost fallacy, "well this relationship was great for six months when we just fucked each other's brains out, what are we supposed to do now that we're too busy or stressed or whatever".

I just want someone who doesn't need to control me, doesn't feel insecure when I don't spend the evening with them, someone who doesn't corner me when I'm upset, angry, frustrated, whatever, and just need some fucking space. I just want a companion who loves me and notices me and cares about me. Someone who respects how I like to keep my home clean and organized. Someone who doesn't mind that I don't reach out physically; somebody who will reach out until I stop stiffening in surprise at their touch. But I'm such a piece of shit, I can't accept those things. It would be too good to be true. I need to keep punishing myself with the woman who gave birth to me, over and over.

Maybe that's why I don't believe in romance. All I've known is self-hatred so deep it bleeds all over the self-hater's children.

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zhangsanjian · 1 year

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Never Far

Original essay: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/u8CseBNi4Kkye56u63XFSA

On the first day of each month, you can often see "Hello a certain month" in Moments. Everyone hopes that this month can always be happy and cute, or hope that the hard work this month will be rewarded… In short, we have good expectations for the future.

August is here again as scheduled, and the heat wave hits us with "enthusiasm" in this midsummer. It seems that it is the same as August of the previous year, there is no difference, but there is something different in my heart. There seemed to be a black hole in the deepest part of my psyche, a gap in my mother's heart—a black hole that would send my mother down to a planet of bewilderment, anxiety, and sadness.

I also know a group of people who will feel uncomfortable, uneasy, and difficult to regulate their emotions because of an upcoming day. It seems that everyone is longing for it, just like in the movie: Sooner is many years later…

Forever is not far away, just like every sunrise and sunset is a day in eternity, what should come will always come, no one can resist. As I wrote this, I stared blankly at the computer screen, unable to write for a long time, bursts of anger welled up in my heart, and even wanted to punch the computer screen. Obviously I was the one who went through all of this, so why should I show tolerance, open-mindedness, and friendship? Why can't I pour out my emotions wantonly?

Yes, I can't, I'm not the old me anymore, I can do better than the old me.

Friends who have supported me this year, please rest assured that I am fine. Recently, I have been exercising, boxing, and doing Pilates with my friends… These methods allow me to temporarily forget the troubles around me, and feel a sense of connection and solidity in the company of family and friends. Even basketball, which I hadn't touched in two or three years, returned to my palm with the encouragement and company of my friends, and I felt the hearty feeling I hadn't seen for a long time. Yes, I'm trying to recharge myself.

Back home, my mother has my company, and her condition is much better. Taking her to exercise together can see that her body is lighter and her wrinkles are gradually stretched. I can do better in the future. There are also those "people" who secretly "support" me, I know you want to see me knocked down, and then lie on the ground and give up struggling amidst your contemptuous ridicule , no longer being strong, convinced, and persistent. But I want to thank you for successfully arousing the "damn desire to win" in men. If I really fell down, I don't seem to respect your long-term "support". Just like in that song, "Indifferent people, thank you for once underestimating me and making me live stronger without bowing my head".

how far is Forever? Forever is not far, always in our hearts. Heart to eternity, forever is every day under our feet. How can we reach what we call forever without taking every step firmly and steadily? Live a good life, get what you want, abandon unnecessary quarrels and cares, pay more attention to some beautiful moments in life, and exercise with me until you grow old—you should also be a healthy and happy grandpa when you get old, Granny.

Perfect is not beautiful either. Family members, partners, and staff around you also have their own shortcomings and blind spots. No one is perfect, if you always look at the world with critical eyes, you will definitely not be happy. Try to learn to tolerate and appreciate a person's imperfections, and a bright light will be lit in your heart. This light will illuminate itself, and it will illuminate me.

I said I would be your Dark Knight, and I will always remember that. I will be there when you need me, and even if you don't need me one day, I will silently pay attention to and bless you. The journey is not lonely, you may occasionally want to get off the train and stop to enjoy another piece of scenery, it doesn't matter that the train will always be there.

Whether it is a new friend or an old friend, I will always smile and say to you: How are you? welcome……

#zhang zhehan #zhang sanjian #word of honor #August 2 #2022 #haizhe #the english translations are machine translated and hence prone to errors

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