#it doesn't really matter it's just perplexing to me sometimes to think about how much time and paper i've... i don't wanna say wasted

[xjulixred45x]

Arthur Pedragon/King of Chaos/Lancelot X Yui Komori! Reader

Genre: Headcannons

Reader: Female

WARNINGS: SENSITIVE SUBJECTS, IMPLICIT KIDNAPPING/PAST ABUSE, PTSD, Arthur alone is a warning, Lancelot is a bit bad with emotions and a bit OOC(hard for me to write his character), Fluff at the end.

Arthur Pedragon/King of Chaos

A bit of context as always:

You were the daughter of one of Arthur's knights, he had just joined his ranks in the hope of recovering you from the clutches of the beings that held you captive.

He didn't think much of it at first, actually, he honestly thought you were already dead (especially if the beings that kidnapped you were vampires or demons), but he was very supportive of your father's cause, he was a good knight, and his fervent anger was ... something very useful in fights, so he encouraged it.

Imagine his surprise when he found out that you were alive, even more so when he met you, an adorable young lady. How could someone who barely has magic power survive so long alone against members of other races? Your father kept you close to him long after He rescued you, so you gave him some curiosity.

At first he thought that the innocent appearance would be a clever facade, but he was even more surprised when he met you formally and saw that you were indeed someone very friendly and gentle, even after all you had been through.

Your magical power allowed those who will take your blood to increase their abilities, apart from the fact that it became addictive, that was what caused your kidnapping. Ironically, since it didn't fit your character at all, it was the first thing that came to Arthur's mind.

Since your father always told you good things about the king, you showed him a lot of respect and kindness, but not out of fear, but out of the pure desire to help, you aroused his interest thanks to that.

You practically settled into Camelot, fearing to return to the real world, which helped you both get to know each other more, you would follow your father like a lost puppy (so cute) until he had to leave and you would just do things to help out. the fortress where you stayed, cleaning, taking care of the vegetation, reading, cooking, etc. It's endearing.

When you'll eventually run out of things to do, you'll go to him to ask if there was anything he needed or wanted, sometimes he'd jokingly tell you that he wanted his enemies' hearts and seeing your perplexed expression, you're too cute for your own good.

He would have talks with you where more things about you would just emerge, your so innocent point of view of the world and how you see the good in everything, a part of him doesn't know if you are very good or very dumb, but at the same time you are too nice to let the opportunity pass.

Going full-on when you're together, Arthur watches you like a hawk, he doesn't miss a beat when it comes to you. Do you feel slightly uncomfortable around a specific gentleman? It will be removed immediately. A certain noble made an off-hand comment about your situation? You won't see him again, and so on.

He loves your personality, he hasn't had someone genuinely care for him in a long time (if you read the manga you know what I'm talking about) so having a cutie like you care for him like he's a normal person is really beautiful.

It's a double edged sword though

Since he's worried that you'll trust too much people you shouldn't, so he tries to teach you how to more easily identify those kinds of people or he scares them to death himself, whichever comes first.

I mentioned the food above, most likely the Knights love you because of it, you are like an angel(who cooks amazingly) Even IRONSIDE enjoy your desserts!

You no longer help as much as before in the matter of taking care of the palace, not because you don't want to but rather because they don't let you anymore😅 as Wife of the King you are no longer allowed to do "Service work", although Arthur allows you to make food for he and his highly trusted knights (as I said above, they love it).

He pampers you a lot, you already saw.

He just can't help it. He loves your reactions! The surprise, how you smile shyly when you accept them, you're going to kill him one day.

Now, getting more serious.

If the ones who hurt you are alive...they won't be for long, let's go from there.

Just the thought of you being hurt so badly, that you didn't even want to go back to your original realm, out of sheer fear, makes Arthur seethe with rage.

Of course, always willing to comfort you and give you whatever you need at that moment (except maybe alone time because 1, this man is clingy, and 2, he doesn't feel comfortable leaving you alone in such a vulnerable state).

If the ones who kidnapped you were humans, he'll send his knights to kill them without much thought, he wants their heads on spears, that's all that matters.

(And neither are the knights, they appreciate you so much that they are as out for blood as Arthur).

If they were of any other race, only valid in a certain way his extremist point, it may even contaminate you with it (if you did not have it before). In this particular case, he wants to be the one to kill them, in the slowest and most painful way possible.

He will always make sure to keep you safe, there are knights near you even if you don't see them to ensure your safety and that nothing bad happens to you. By itself Arthur orbits around you constantly, so the chances are minimal.

I already mentioned it in a previous scenario, but he tries to cover up the shady parts of the Eternal Kindom's plan to prevent you from developing fear towards him, that would definitely destroy him.

Luckily that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon :D

In the meantime, you only enjoy the good times and memories that you create with your family and your dear husband.

Lancelot

A bit of context as always:

He met you shortly before the events of the 4KotA story, in one of the many massacre battles in which he participated.

He thought that as usual there was no one left, but he quickly realized that it was not yes. He originally thought of just shooting an arrow at where you were (RIP you) but sensing that the presence was rather extremely weak, he decided to see if it was really worth it.

He wasn't exactly surprised when he saw you, all hurt and scared, the fight was pretty brutal. What DID surprise him a bit was that you will ask him if they left. On sheer impulse he said yes and was even more confused when you thanked him.

*insert surprised Pikachu face*

He could easily tell that you were sincere, but even so you left him half out of the loop, he didn't know what to do with you anymore. Should he risk that you divulge information about him?

He considers it for a moment but seeing that you had no bad intentions he simply told you threatened not to say anything about who ended up with your group. You just nodded and he started to leave, what WAS NOT EXPECTED was that you'll start following him.

Again, this left him confused, he saw your heart, you had no intention of killing him or anything, in fact you had a lot of gratitude for some reason, and now you were following him around like a lost puppy. He considered just knocking you out and leaving, but at the same time this made him very curious as to how it would end, so he thought he'd see how far this would go, maybe he'd find out why you're doing it.

Thus began a strange friendship. At first just because you were still in a certain state of shock, you didn't talk much, ironically Lancelot did a good part of the talking, it wasn't much but it was enough to know some basic things, like your name, your age, etc. Yes, he could have used mind reading for that, but he doesn't want to use it for something so basic.

Of course, when he asked you about the group you were with and you got tense, he took a little look, just to avoid bad moments. You weren't with the group by choice, but because you had been "sold" (after being kidnapped) due to your magical power, which was in your healing blood.

Lowkey was satisfied that they would not return.

And lowkey scared him a little bit he almost shot you with an arrow

Knowing this, Lancelot didn't ask any more questions about them and simply asked about more general things, like your family or things like that (if they weren't idiots of course).

The more time you spend together and the more you open up, he becomes more…relaxed around you, so to speak.

He still has some of his stoic demeanor, but brings out a calmer side and more "Sin" so to speak.

Yep, he has shown his Fox form, many times in fact. Especially if you were feeling especially bad about what happened with that group. See, he's not very good with emotions (at first) so he brings out Sin's form so you can pamper him and you can better bring out your emotions.

He honestly thinks you couldn't open up to him at first because of how intimidating he is (the fact that you saw him taking down assholes in a way has something to do with it).

Though you eventually realize this and prevent this from happening, that you want comfort from Lancelot, not Sin.

Again, he's a bit clumsy at first, but gets better with time (especially with physical affection, that's his greatest strength).

If the group you were with wasn't the one that originally sold you out or kidnapped you, he'll ask you directly if you want him to kill them, obviously you didn't want that, and while Lancelot seemed to accept it, he specified that you won't wait long if he ever ran into them, no one lives to count a confrontation against him after all.

Your personality definitely intrigues him. How can someone who lived through such cruel things still be so gentle and friendly? It's out of his understanding.

Yet he finds himself being more open with you, telling you things about himself to be fair and generally being more vulnerable.

If we go straight to when they are together, honestly it doesn't change too much, it's just a little more of everything, more open, more physical, more protective, etc.

Again, your personality is a double-edged sword here, but at least Lancelot is more direct and will tell you what it is, that you have to be careful and a little more suspicious, even if it's for your own good.

Don't get it wrong though, he definitely likes to see how friendly you are, you have a great personality, if there were more people like you, humanity wouldn't be so lost.

He's fine with your willingness to help as long as you don't put yourself in danger, otherwise he'll be the first to jump into the situation and stop you (like the "what an idiot--wait-THAT'S MY IDIOT!" meme).

Cook 👏 together 👏 I won't say more.

Again, his greatest love language is physical contact, he has gotten better at saying he loves you, but it is much more practical for him to be physical than verbal. Although he's more willing to be if you're having a PTSD crisis, he understands that physical contact there can be for worse than anything else, so he encourages you from afar so you can recover safely.

For the events of the manga, they're traveling together with Percy and his friends, it's nice for Lancelot to see the progress you've made (and him, in a way) and you finally allow yourself to surround yourself with people again.

Lowkey, he wants you to meet Jericho, Ban and Elaine, he's pretty sure their parents are going to love you right away. As for Jericho... he must first keep his promise before anything else (and he still has mixed feelings with her being a traitor).

This new adventure looks promising, even more so when the two of them are together. What does the future prepare? Only time will tell.

#headcanons #fem reader #4 knights of the apocalypse #four knights of the apocalypse #yui komori #arthur 4kota #lancelot #4kota lancelot #4kota #arthur nnt #arthur pendragon #4kota x reader #mokushiroku no yonkishi

[wonderland-smile-stories]

~ Chapter 1. 03 ~

I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes and how poorly written this fanfic is. English is not my first language and together with my dyslexia ass things can go wrong I'm sorry.

The empty look in his eyes, his unkempt appearance, and standing on the edge.

It was all too familiar to me.

"Yours?" She asked the boy while peeling off the gum.

I began to put my guitar back in the case while listening to their conversation, well you can't really call it a conversation. The only thing he had said the entire time was no. I put the case on my back before walking over to them just in time to hear Eun-yu say.

"I thought handsome guys weren't loners. But maybe you're just an asshole." She chuckled in the end before putting a cigarette in her mouth.

"Eun-yu!" I hissed to her from below her feet.

I looked back at the boy to see his reaction, but he still had the same emotionless look on his face. Eun-yu spoke up again when he began to walk to the stairs.

"Don't die here." Again I looked back up at her with a scolding look on my face, but she just ignored it talking again.

"You'll just end up causing trouble for everyone else who lives here. Jump off somewhere else." It didn't seem to affect the boy cause he just walked away down the stairs.

"Eun-yu! What's wrong with you!" I snapped at her looking up at her from in front of the door where she was sitting.

She inhaled before speaking blowing the smoke out.

"I'm not wrong! These people here are already miserable enough that we don't need a dead body on top of that or on the ground seeing he was probably going to jump off."

I let out a frustrating groan shaking my head at her.

"That doesn't give you permission to be an bitch to him!" She stared down at me with an unbothered look on her face while blowing smoke out of her mouth.

"Sometimes you go too far," I mutter before running down the stairs hoping I could catch the boy before he was gone.

I thought it would be easy to catch up with him, but when I came to the bottom of the stairs he wasn't there. Quickly I ran further down the hall hoping to see him around the corner. I came to a halt when I ran around the corner only to see him walking down the hallway.

"Hey! You!" I shouted hoping to get his attention and to my luck, he came to a stop turning around.

Quickly I jogged over to him letting out a deep breath.

"Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for my friend. She can be a bitch, so don't take it too personally." I admitted hoping he would understand.

For a few seconds, he looked at me before quietly saying.

"It's okay."

Without saying another word he began to walk further again leaving me perplexed behind. Blinking a few times to process his dry answer I shook my head before walking behind him in a quick pass.

"You must be the new resident that moved into 1410. I'm Yun Mi-na. I live below you in apartment 1310." I thought he would tell me his name, but all I got was a yes not even looking at me.

I press my lips together debating if I should ask more or if he would get mad for asking too much stuff.

"What's your name?" I asked softly asked looking a little up at him.

Seeing that he was a bit taller than me. I'm 1,75 meters and he is easily about ten centimeters taller than me if he isn't even taller than that.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I understand." I quickly spoke seeing him looking at me.

"Cha Hyun-su." Just like before his voice was quiet, but I heard it and that was all that mattered.

"It's nice to meet you, Hyun-su. Do you live alone?" I could see him swallow thickly which made me think I hit something sensitive.

"Yeah, alone." I nodded my head giving him a soft smile, but he wasn't really looking at me.

"Me too. For a few months now." The last word came out as a whisper.

It was still hard to know that I was just alone. I had to blink a few times trying to get rid of the tears that appeared in my eyes before looking back up at him.

"Hey, let me give you something." To my surprise, he came to a stop when I stopped.

I grabbed my case and took a pen and some paper from the side pocket that I always had in it just in case I wanted to write a new melody down. Quickly I wrote my number down before giving it to him. Slowly he grabbed it before looking down at it.

"There, you can call or text whenever you want. I don't really sleep much so you can even do it at night." I just know what he was going through. He seemed like he needed some company.

He was just an emotionless shell right now and seeing how he was standing on the edge of the building just a few minutes ago I knew that he wasn't here for long.

"Uhm, thanks." I hear him mumble while he looks down at the piece of paper.

We began to walk again, but in silence now, which I didn't mind.

When we came around the corner we both stopped when we saw the security guard trying to look inside the peephole of a door.

"What are you doing?" Hyun-su spoke walking up to the guard.

I could see the number now and saw that it was his.

"I asked you to come by the office, but I guess you forgot."

The guard got something stuck in his nose. My best guess was because of a nosebleed, it was something I always did when I had one.

"You need to fill out a registration document."

Hyun-su looked up at him for a few seconds before answering with a short reply.

"I'll go later." Before moving to his door to open it.

He was about to go in when the guard stopped him. I could tell that he wasn't going to back down so I quickly jumped in between them.

"Hey mister, I totally forgot when I walked past your office yesterday to thank you for helping me so quickly with my door," I spoke with a soft voice giving him a big smile.

"Oh, that is nothing."

I shook my head.

"No, no, no, it is not nothing. I know that you have a lot of work here and you have to do things on your own, so I'm really grateful for it." I now thanked him with a smile and bow.

The guard began to talk about his boss and how he expected him to do work that wasn't his. So while he kept on blabbering I put my hand on my back pointing my finger at Hyun-su's door, signaling him to get inside. I kept on my big smile while the guard talked further hoping Hyun-su would get the message. The sound of the code came from behind me soon followed by the sound of a door closing shut.

The guard stopped to look behind me.

"I guess I have to try again later."

I just gave him a nod before walking past him to bump into someone.

"I'm sorry," I mumble bowing starting to walk backward.

"Wacht where you going!" The girl snapped before she continued talking on her phone and walking away.

"Bitch." I mutter under my breath rubbing my arm where we collided.

My eyes went to Hyun-su's door and saw the guard still standing there just like when we found them. Why is everybody so moody and weird today? I turned around and walked away hoping that the rest of the day would be normal. I took a look at my phone and saw that I was going to be late to meet Ji-su.

"Shit!" I cursed begging to run to my room.

The elevator would take too long so I quickly took the stairs down. Luckily I didn't need to go up, I would not survive running up the stairs. With deep breaths, I came to my door and quickly opened it. I needed to switch guitars because I couldn't go to work with my acoustic one. Taking the case from my shoulder I open it and put the guitar against the wall before taking the electric one from the stand beside it.

Trying not to damage anything I rush everything in the case before closing it and swinging back on my shoulder. Walking out the door I looked at my phone to see if I would be late, but because I was fast I had some minutes to spare. With an easy pass, I walk to the elevator pushing the bottom to get him down.

It finally arrived and to my surprise, I saw Ji-su in it together with Jae-heon standing next to her. They both had awkward looks on their faces, but it changed to relief when they saw me.

"Is there still room for me?" I asked with a smile.

Ji-su quickly nodded grabbing my arm tightly before dragging me onto the elevator.

"Hey, Jae-heon, are you going to church?" I asked while the doors closed.

Of course, he's going to church it's a Sunday he always goes, but I needed to say something because it was too awkward for a little space like this.

"Yes, do you want to join me?" He already knows my answer because I always give the same one.

"No, I'm good, but thanks for asking."

He let out a little laugh nodding his head.

The first time I said that to him he went on a whole thing that God doesn't judge and that he loves all of us. I'm thankful that he wanted to make me feel better, but religion isn't for me. Jae-heon is a nice man that had helped me a lot when I first moved here. He was the first person I met who wanted to talk to me, so I'm very grateful.

I was standing behind the two and I could see Ji-su shuffling from one leg to another which told me that she wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. The sound of salvation came together with the door opening. Before I could even mutter out a word Ji-su grabbed my arm dragging me behind her.

I turn around to Jae-heon saying a quick goodbye with a wave before Ji-su could drag me out of sight.

"What was that all about?" I asked when we exited the building where she finally let me go.

"Nothing. Shut up." She muttered walking away from me with her head low so I couldn't see her face, which made me laugh.

Previous chapter ~ Next chapter

#sweet home #sweet home fanfic #sweet home x reader #sweet home x you #fanfic #sweet home x oc #sweet home netflix #cha hyunsu #cha hyun su #cha hyunsoo #cha hyun soo #lee eunhyeok #lee eun hyeok #lee eunhyuk #lee eun hyuk #lee eunyu #lee eun yu #lee eunyoo #lee eun yoo #yoon jisu #yoon ji su #yoon jisoo #yoon ji soo #cha hyun su x oc #cha hyun su x reader #pyeon sangwook #pyeon sang wook #jung jaeheon #jung jae heon

[fanmoose12]

Please tell me the fic you just posted (the erurihan love triangle) HAS A SECOND PART!!! Please pleasee you can’t just leave us like that, can youuu? 🥺🥺🥺

Once upon a time, when he was still naive and inexeperienced, Levi believed that expeditions beyond the Walls are the worst thing that can happen to a Scout. Dangerous, always accompanied by blood and gore, oftentimes ending in a tragedy, they are indeed quite unpleasant occasions.

But they don't even come close to a hell that's also commonly known as military balls.

Everything about them irritates Levi - the polished floors, the abundance of candles and portraits hanging on practically every available surface - a testament of unimaginable amounts of wealth spent in total vain, the guests - so full of themselves, so arrogant and condescending, and the way they laugh too loudly and too frequently after jokes that really aren't that funny, even his own suit that hugs him just a bit too tight, seizing the freedom of movements that uniforms provide, and his hair that is slicked back for the occasion, and, Levi's sure, makes him look like a complete idiot, or worse - like one of these too rich for their own good assholes. Even the wine here is awful, too dry and sour, not a match to ale that is served in his favorite tavern.

And Erwin, Erwin irritates him too. Not just because he has dragged Levi out here in the first place, but also, also because he has Hange, hanging off his arm for the whole damned evening.

They look good together, Levi notes bitterly. Both beautiful and charming and insanely smart, they look– like they belong together.

And sometimes– sometimes Levi wishes he could hate them both for that.

He wishes he could hate Hange - for being so oblivious, for stubbornly continuing to remain so even after his half-confession. She doesn't love him, she never will, not in a way Levi wants her to, and isn't that– isn't that a sufficient enough reason to despise her?

But Levi can't, knows too well that he could never. Those feelings, that infatuation he naively believed to be just that, no more a minor misjudgement from his youth, do not disappear, do not fade with time, do not even lessen.

Quite on the contrary.

As he grows older, these feelings continue to grow too, becoming stronger, starting to run that much deeper.

But just as his feelings do not change, so don't Hange's. She may - and always will - have his heart, but Erwin is the one who will always have hers.

And although Levi can't hate Erwin no more than he can't hate Hange, Erwin's seemingly complete disregard for her feelings not only perplexes Levi, but annoys him too.

How can Erwin be so careless? How can he be so cruel? How can he resist the temptation, how can he deny the love Levi knows he has for her?

Why is he a stronger man than humanity's strongest soldier?

For Levi knows, holds no illusions, that had he been as blessed as Erwin, had Hange decided to give all of her heart to him, he wouldn't have hesitated to take it. He would have never let her go, he'd fight and bleed and hurt - just for a chance of a future with her.

But, maybe... maybe, that's precisely why Erwin doesn't dare to act on his feelings. Maybe, that's why he keeps his heart as it is - cold and closed-off.

Maybe, that's why, in the end, he's the wisest of them all.

He knows the price of falling in love, and deems it to be too high to pay.

And, maybe, that's why Hange loves him so. Because Erwin is a better man– he chooses all of humanity and not a single person.

Levi wishes he could be that selfless. Or, at least, that wise.

But he's not like Erwin and Hange, he's not a brilliant strategist or a genius scientist, he's just a man, who's very good at fighting.

He's nothing special, no matter what title was bestowed upon him, and no matter what common folk and nobles alike think of him.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Levi notices a girl, one of his acquired admirers, no doubt, who starts to approach him, so, naturally, he takes the only sensible decision available and darts in another direction, desperately searching for someone he can pretend to be in an important conversation with.

Such a person is found surprisingly easily, and what's even more surprising - out of all people, it is Erwin. Sometime during the evening he has lost their Hange, and now stands alone, watching the festivities unravel from the corner of the ballroom.

As Levi walks closer to him, Erwin turns towards him with a smile that’s just a bit too soft, just a bit too gentle. Levi hasn't seen him put on that smile ever since Erwin took upon himself the role of a Commander.

"Levi? Decided to hide behind your Commander's back?"

Levi huffs and leans against the wall next to him. "Yours is wide enough."

At that, Erwin chuckles and hands him a glass of wine. Levi accepts it in hopes that with a friend, the awful wine would taste a little better.

He takes a sip of it, his mouth twisting - it definitely does not taste better, and looks around the room.

From this new vantage point, he can finally see Hange - she's in the middle of a dance floor, twirling around with some nobleman's second or third son. No one more important would dare to approach her, after all. Her reputation is just as widespread as Levi's.

The guy she's dancing with is young, Levi realizes belatedly, looks just fresh out of adolescence. But he's not that hard on the eyes, not at all, especially with that full of wonder smile that he stares at Hange with. And his dancing skills are above average, definitely good enough for someone whose only purposes in life are dancing and talking about some nonsense with an arrogant enough expression on his handsome face. But– as good as the guy undoubtedly is, he's not a match to Hange. Hange, who carries herself so confidently, whose smile is so charming and whose every step is controlled and precise. She moves around the dance floor effortlessly, so gracefully like she's been doing exactly that her whole life too.

Watching her, Levi realizes, not for the first time that she's–

"Beautiful, isn't she?" Erwin murmurs, taking note of who Levi stares at so instantly.

Levi takes his eyes off Hange instantly, looking up to meet Erwin's amused, but still disturbingly soft gaze.

"Four-eyes?" he draws out, forcing his voice to sound nonchalant. "Beautiful? Not like that."

The Hange that Levi sees now is so different from the one he used to, the one he knows and loves, that she's practically unrecognizable. The Hange that Levi knows oftentimes looks exhausted, is nearly always dressed in dirty clothes, with cheeks too pale and thin, but with a wide, genuine smile on her lips and her eyes burning. The Hange that he knows is not suave or polite, she's loud, often rude, but always sincere, always real.

And Hange that he sees now clearly isn't.

"Never thought that out of us three, you'd be the most romantic one, Levi," Erwin muses, and, before Levi can protest, adds, "Did you know that Hange suffers from nightmares?"

Levi's eyes widen, his brows furrow at such an unexpected twist in a conversation, but he gives Erwin a nod nevertheless.

Does he know about Hange's nightmares? Of course, he does, how can he not, when he's the one who usually calms her down? After all, it's precisely why they fall asleep in each other's beds more often than not - when Hange isn't tormented by horrors from their everyday life, usually he is.

It is a perfect remedy, at least, for Levi. He found out fairly quickly that all fear vanishes, when he has Hange wrapped around him.

"I didn't," Erwin confesses, his eyes darting to Hange, as if he can't resist it. "I wouldn't have known, if Nanaba didn't mention it to me."

"And?" Levi prompts, perhaps a bit more rudely than he intended. The damn ball is to blame, he supposes. The wine is shitty, the people here are even more so, and Erwin's riddles just force him even closer to the edge.

"Hange didn't tell me about it. She did, however, tell you."

"She probably didn't want to bother you. Or, she–"

"-doesn't trust me," Erwin finishes for him. "Not nearly as much as she trusts you."

Levi swallows down a curse, then gulps a mouthful of the shitty wine. "If that's your attempt at making me feel better, Erwin, then you–"

"Hush," Erwin cuts him off with another gentle smile. He puts a hand on Levi's shoulder and leans, whispering in his ear. "Let's have a little experiment of our own. Hange is not the only one who can do that, right?"

Levi rolls his eyes, but accepts his fate and doesn't push Erwin away. "And?" he asks boredly. "What is the point of that experiment?"

"Experiments are meant to prove something, no? And, recently, I read somewhere that you can deduce when someone has feelings for another person. It's fairly easy, but, I admit, I've never thought about it. The gist of it is this - when someone is in love, their eyes instinctively search for that person first."

Levi hates himself just a little bit at that moment. Not just for not pushing Erwin away and refusing to stroke his ego one more time, but also– for that slimmer of hope that makes its way inside him, and stubbornly refuses to be banished.

What's he hoping for anyway? Doesn't he know how this will go? Doesn't he know who Hange loves already? Doesn't he know that it's not - and will never be - him?

But, perhaps, he's more of a masochist than he ever thought himself to be, because he doesn't push Erwin away, he doesn't escape the room altogether, he stands and waits for the outcome that he has guessed already.

Hange finishes her dance, bows and smiles, then she turns around, finds them in a crowd, but– it’s not Erwin that her eyes dart to immediately. 

It's Levi, who she looks at first. It's Levi's name that slips out of her lips.

It's Levi that she hurries to get closer to.

It's stupid, he thinks in that moment, Erwin's stupid and his theory and experiment are even more so, but– his heart still starts to beat that much faster, the warmth still spreads throughout his chest, the damned butterflies still begin to flutter their wings in his stomach, and-

And when Hange reaches out and wraps her hands around his, dragging him to the dance floor with a giddy smile, he still allows her to do so. He still smiles as he follows after her.

Erwin and his experiment are still unbelievably stupid, but– for just one night, one night that started horrible and ended so spectacularly - Levi allows himself to pretend otherwise.

#woah! #i finished this thing just hmmmm more than a half year later? #hooray to me anyway #levihan

[spacexseven]

What's your ideas on a yandere reader? I envision a more highly devoted type that borders worship. I'm curious for Atsushi and Kunikida would deal with this. Maybe Dazai too.

i always love to read anything to do with yandere reader :> it's been growing on me recently but honestly i feel like i can never write it in a way that isn't unappealing to read 😭 (i got carried away at some parts)

cw yandere reader, yandere character, obsession, stabbing, general descriptions of violence (dazai's part) stalking, jealousy, possessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, manipulation codependency.

initially, atsushi would be very uncomfortable with that level of devotion. he doesn't think he deserves it, and even if your compliments and concerning amount of praise flatter him, he knows it's not...normal. you shouldn't hold anyone, let alone him in such high regard. but still, if you persist, he feels like he owes it to you to reciprocate your feelings at least to some degree. it's not like he's had anyone else that's been interested in him before, and definitely not like this.

the guilt never fades, but he grows a little compliant, not protesting when you cancel his plans and tell him to stay away from his friends. how can he say no and watch your face fall? he hates disappointing anyone, and knowing you would do anything for him makes him never want to disappoint you.

while he may never understand the fierce possessiveness in your eyes when anyone else approaches him or the desperation in your voice when you plead with him for his love, he thinks he can grow to accept it. it doesn't hurt to feel wanted, and he thinks after all the days he's felt absolutely useless and undeserving of any happiness, this isn't too bad.

it feels nice to be so loved, even if he knows, deep down, that it can't be healthy.

for kunikida, he's really just confused at first. why would anyone allow themselves to become so bothered with someone else? it just feels useless to him. so when he learns of your feelings, and towards him, he's even more perplexed. what did you see in him? he approaches you directly about it, and you aren't so shy that you wouldn't answer him, although he can tell you're intimidated. you tell him he's your idea of an ideal partner—clever, determined, quick on his feet and loyal. he was perfect, in your eyes. and you believe he deserves someone to worship him. someone to care for him like he cares for others, someone to know him beyond his sometimes harsh exterior. and then you tell him that you haven't been lucky enough to peek into his book yet, but you hope you qualify for at least one requirement of his ideal partner. kunikida goes home that night, and stares at his list for the ideal partner. after a long time, he picks up his pen and makes some changes. he can't exactly understand you, but he can appreciate your efforts. his favorite drink on his bedside every morning with a note from you, just the way he keeps his cup—he overlooks the obvious breach of privacy in favour of the comforting warmth from his drink. your attempts to conform to his wishes, no matter how inconvinient. your constant praise and love for him. still, he knows it's unhealthy. he knows it's not right but...he grows to enjoy your presence. he tells himself that soon, he'll stop you. he'll talk to you some other time, about working on your attachment to him. for now...he can relish in your total trust in him.

dazai couldn't believe it at first. he already caught on to your not so subtle stalking a while ago—you weren't as good as you'd think, but he found it oddly endearing. he would be flattered, even, that someone cared so much. he definitely didn't need you to keep an eye out on him as he ventured through dangerous alleys alone, but it was nice to know someone was looking out for him.

he might even find it sweet.

for all he likes to act like nothing bothers him and he's always alright, he kind of likes to be acknowledged in this way.

so his next course of action would be to stalk you, obviously! alright, so that startled expression whenever you catch him looking, that flustered look when he smirks at you, telling you that he knew what you were up to, stirred something inside him. but what could he do? you were just so cute! he gets to know you (by watching you through the windows) and he's struck by how...normal you are. you really weren't pretending around him at the office. he texts you and watches your face light up. he sends you selfies and watches as your eyes grow wide and your breath hitch. you really did like him, didn't you? he does it on purpose, sometimes. flirts with the waitress as you seethe from the corner, wondering how far you'd go for him. you don't hurt her, but you didn't need to—that burning glare from you that day sent her running away from dazai every time after that. when he watches you stab fyodor, lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, spitting out curses at him for hurting your dazai, landing a hand on him—he smiles, despite himself. he feels lightheaded. he thinks it's from the wound at first, but realises you probably drugged him. you didn't have to, but he doesn't mind. your usual softhearted nature burned away in your rage, eyes sharp and hands steady as you plung the knife in and out. you don't give the man a quick death, swearing he would pay for ever daring to touch dazai. he's almost jealous that the other man is getting all your attention, but he isn't afraid.

you're doing this because you loved him, after all, and he knew in that moment he would do the same.

#yandere bsd #yandere x bsd #yandere reader #yandere dazai #yandere dazai x reader #yandere x kunikida #kunikida bsd #atsushi bsd #yandere x atsushi #yandere reader x bsd #yandere #ask 🐟 #anon 🐟 #bsd 🐟 #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #dazai 🐟 #kunikida 🐟 #atsushi 🐟 #yandere reader 🐟

[lesbienyu]

thinking about the time I brought my buddy from up north down to the DC area for work + explaining to our boss that gender identity doesn't work the same where we're from and her just being gobsmacked. and I was shocked in return bc you'd think the ppl who dunk on flyover states for being trump country, podunk, dead industry towns would realize that their twitter discourse is like. Not a Thing in these places.

she was really curious (which I appreciate!) about it. the idea that nonbinary or even "gender identity" as a concept isn't a thing up here was so baffling to her. and it explained, to me, why she seemed perplexed by my friend not being sure how to respond when asked for pronouns.

I live in a small community. the whole county has less people than my neighborhood when I lived in colorado springs, which isn't a huge city. the idea that you have an internal sense of man or woman just isn't a thing here. you're identified based on sex and your adherence to traditional gender roles.

city people find it odd when I describe myself as a crossdresser, and I don't love the term transvestite but it's applied to me accurately. I wear men's clothes. people let me hold doors open and walk women to their cars, jobs let me do heavy lifting. this is not the result of some internal identity being affirmed, but the result of my personality, hobbies, and how I present myself being outside the norm for women here. I am still a woman, but I'm not comfortable in makeup, dresses, and I'm not comfortable letting men pay for drinks or hold the door for me unless we're close friends. this isn't progressive, but the result of some weird tacit understanding that develops when you've been in a small community for a long time. they're not really happy about it- there's businesses who don't serve me bc of how I am, I recently won a game of darts (technically) bc everyone forfeited after I mentioned being a homosexual, it can be hard to get a job, and I tend to stay home when I'm here since it's not the safest to go out, both as a woman and as a gender non-conforming person.

still, there is no dependence on internal identity. I'm both recognized as a woman in my community, but given the responsibilities and (sometimes) freedoms allotted to a man. this puts me in limbo. I say I am a woman, but have no feeling of abstract womanhood, and it wouldn't matter anyway bc people's treatment of me and my role in society isn't determined by who or what I say I am, just by what I do.

and so it becomes hard to explain what a gender identity even is to someone who has only known this environment, like my buddy. I am not originally from here, spend much of my time on the road, so I have outside context. he does not. you can't identify into the roles we are allotted- they are communally given. so if someone were to roll up here, say they're nonbinary, it wouldn't materially impact anything because our roles are based off sex and external behavior. there's not cis or trans, but just man, woman, or crossdressing man or crossdressing woman.

so when my boss was confused by this, I was confused. we get told city people are worldly, educated, and know how our communities function and shit on them based off that knowledge. but she didn't know anything. she thought that there are people here who "identify as" smth and are oppressed based off that internal identity when that internal identity isn't smth in the zeitgeist here. she said "but trans people are oppressed in rural, conservative communities." but how can that be a coherent group of people, when most people where I live don't know what a pronoun is, equate "feeling like a woman" to being made to keep house, or "feeling like a man" to shoveling snow or hauling lumber. there's no way to feel that- you can only do those things.

her cultural relativism she spoke often about went out the window. "But so you would be nonbinary?" no, because there isn't a "nonbinary" here. "But that's transphobic" against who? how do we define who is trans in a culture in which gender identity doesn't even exist? and how is lacking that definition of internal identity transphobic? it's not necessary to how we function! it is a small, rural, northern community. what is relevant to us is that the lumber is cut for heat, that restaurants and hotels have staff to take in tourists, that the bills are paid and that the snow is plowed. what place would that identity have in this? it's not relevant. your self-perception here forms in relation to the community - you are assigned a role based on sex, and you can defy that role, but then you must take on other duties. and the defiance of that role is frowned upon, because you are seen as stepping on the toes of those whose duties you take on- men here do not like when I insist on lifting heavy objects myself, because it's their job to do so for ladies. it's an ego thing. it's ass being pinned to a role, and defying that role gets you this "well, fuck you, you can lift that your damn self, woman" shit. I hope anyone reading this understands nuance and that I don't defend the way my community works- it'd be amazing to not hear from neighbors that my family "needs a man of the house," or that I'm "never gonna get a husband acting that way" (not that I'd like one anyway, but people value that here). to be given the role of crossdresser/aberrant woman isn't fun, and I'll describe it to city ppl and they're like cool! progressive! no. it's a testing, constantly, to see if I am fit to wear workboots or play darts with the men or fix my own car.

just some thoughts about that exchange - the spiritualist concept of gender identity doesn't exist in a place where material reality is upfront, where it's hand-to-mouth living, and the community is small and personal. I felt odd, both explaining the liberal concept of gender to my buddy, and explaining the lack of focus on internal identity to my boss.

[kaesaaurelia]

questions

For @whumptober day 7, using the prompts "radio silence," "can you hear me?," and the song prompt ("Control" by Halsey).

Continued from Day 4, wherein Aziraphale receives an unwanted gift of a memory-wiped angel Crowley who is collared and chained and cheerfully obedient, and a tiny bit of hope that the Crowley he knows still exists somewhere in that angel.

It had started off promisingly enough.  "Think for yourself," he told Crowley, because if Crowley was compelled to do what Aziraphale told him to, he would now be compelled to... not do what Aziraphale told him to, probably?

"All right," said Crowley, blandly.  His face immediately assumed an expression of serious thoughtful effort, and after a few moments of this, he'd stopped and said, "Now what?"

A few simple queries established that he did not, in fact, remember being himself, nor did he have any particular thoughts about rebellion, Falling, or any other such things.  "Why would I want to do that?" he'd asked, after Aziraphale had explained the concept of Falling.  "Sounds unpleasant."

Which, well, yes, it had, but Aziraphale did not much want to think about that, and it certainly wasn't the important part.  Because now he knew Crowley must be in there somewhere and he had to keep trying to get at him.  It wasn't just the door to door salesmen, either -- every now and then he said something a run-of-the-mill angel wouldn't say or mentioned something he couldn't know about -- an anecdote about a composer here, some extraneous duck facts there, a very occasional remark that suggested mild impatience with how slowly things moved in Heaven.

Once, while filling out a report, he'd looked up and said, "You don't like that collar, do you?  Why do you think you're wearing it?  Do you think you deserve it?"

"Maybe," said Crowley, shrugging.

Later, after Uriel had gone over a list of apocalyptic disasters they might like to use, Aziraphale waited until they were gone before whispering, "Why is there suffering in the world, do you think?  God's supposed to be benevolent; do you really think that's true?"

"Does it need to be there for something?" Crowley had asked.  "Maybe things wouldn't work without it?  Sometimes you need a bit of extra mass to make things keep moving.  Hang on, what's the density of suffering?  That might be helpful to know."

After several months of this with no pushback whatsoever, just confused looks and happy smiles, he seized Crowley by the shoulders and asked, fiercely, "If Heaven murdered someone you loved and then tried to replace them with a terrible copy, do you think that would be right?  Would you want to stay?  Do you think Heaven would think you'd be happy?"

Crowley had frowned at him then, and really given it a good think before finally saying, "Do you think that's very likely?  I have to say, it sounds a bit outlandish."

"Oh.  No," lied Aziraphale.  "Just a hypothetical."

"Perhaps they've done something to deserve being murdered and replaced?" Crowley suggested.  "Does the terrible copy work better?"

"No, it doesn't," snapped Aziraphale.  "It doesn't at all.  And it has no idea how awful it is."

"Oh," said Crowley, looking no less perplexed.  "You're hurting my shoulders a bit," he said, "which is fine, of course, I just thought you might like to know, in case you were doing it by accident."

"Ah."  Aziraphale released his shoulders, ashamed and a bit troubled at how angry he had become -- and, after all, Crowley didn't deserve that, no matter how terrible a copy he was.  "So sorry about that," he said.

"What's wrong with the terrible copy?" Crowley asked, while they were walking back to Aziraphale's desk.

"Don't worry about it," said Aziraphale, and though the chain of Crowley's collar did not currently exist in physical space, it felt cold and heavy in his hand even in its absence.

#whumptober2023 #no.7 #radio silence #can you hear me? #song #good omens #fic #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #angel crowley #ineffable husbands #text #fiction #kaesa op

[mzannthropy]

Sam Claflin and the Ageism Comments

I've been meaning to make this post for... well, months now, the reason why I've been dragging my feet on it is that, honestly, it's such a non issue for me, but I just cannot abide how fucking stupid people can be.

So, what's up with all the "Sam Claflin looks too old on Daisy Jones and The Six", "Sam Claflin has aged comments"?

If these comments came only from incels of 4chan and Reddit, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, bc that's the type of stuff I expect from them. But, disappointingly, they came from DJATS fans.

Also just the sheer perplexity over people being surprised that a person is, gasp, ten years older than what they were ten years ago. Therefore, I have to speak up.

More under the cut.

Around the time DJATS was released, I re-listened to the audiobook, and I distinctly remember Daisy saying, upon meeting Billy for the first time, that he had lines around his eyes, even though he couldn't have been older than 29. Sam was 35 during the filming of DJATS, so yeah, he is older than his character, but I don't understand why this would be such a huge problem? Actors often play characters younger than them, but it's not just that. Maybe they couldn't find a suitable 29yo actor to play Billy, which is not an easy role. (Even Sam didn't get it on the first try, but they gave him a chance bc they knew he was good.) Also I just don't see what difference the ages of characters make in this story. They could be anything from late 20s to late 30s, even early 40s. It's a documentary about a band, not a coming of age story. I think that... it seems to me (and I could be wrong in my assessment) that for whatever reason, this fanbase is really young. (Didn't the book blow up on tiktok?) Maybe they presumed the characters would be closer to their own age, especially as gen z have this weird thing when it comes to age. I don't know. It's bizarre.

So what did Sam really look like on DJATS? Well, most of all, he lost a lot of weight. And sometimes it happens that when a person loses a lot of weight, depending on how thin they get, it might age them. I don't know how you can expect someone to get down to a size where they've left with hollow cheeks without this making them look older. In addition, Billy is a recovering alcohol/drug addict. Those things are generally not good for you.

So even if Sam did look older on DJATS--what does it matter? Is it not bringing the character to life that matters, the talent, the hard work he put in becoming Billy? Learning to play a whole musical instrument, making sure to get it right with regards to his character's struggle with addiction, by consulting the people who worked with actual rockstars who had the struggles in the 70s? Is that not what it is about?

If you only like films and shows with young people under a certain age, then watch those. There's plenty of YA out there for you to peruse.

Sam has been in the business since 2010. In that time he played such a variety of roles that a chunk of the audience don't even realise it's the same guy. He likes challenging himself, he has lost and gained weight as his roles demanded.

Sam is 37 now and he looks exactly how a normal 37yo man would look. He's just more handsome than most. He is a very down-to-earth person and doesn't hang out with the Hollywood elite. He doesn't shoot up his face with botox. And good thing he doesn't. I'd rather have him with a few lines in his face than lose that smile, his most valuable asset.

I'd like to bring attention to another feature of Sam, not something that perhaps many notice, and not something you'd immediately notice when it comes to Sam, bc he mostly keeps them in his pockets--his hands.

These are not the hands of a person that looks too old.

But hey, it's okay. You don't have to like Sam. There's plenty of young male celebs for you to fawn over. Us oldies will keep Sam, thank you very much.

(Note: yes I know women get it worse, but I made this post about Sam.)

#sam claflin #samblogging #ageism #billy dunne

[sk3tch404]

can i suggest yandere jack (from identity v) hc?

Ooooo the Ripper I see 🎩🔪

Yandere Jack general HCs

Content warnings: Yandere, kidnapping, reader gets marked via Ripper blades, neglect, manipulation, threats, death games, and violent thoughts

(IM SORRY I WAS GONNA TRY TO FIND THE KNIFE EMOJI FIRST BUT THE FUCKING BRITISH TOP HAT IS SENDING ME HOLY SHIT LMAFOOOO)

To be fair and realistic, Jack would've probably bled you out or injured you pretty bad in matches before he was even obsessed,

So watch out for some hardcore vi-o-len-ce lol

Jack is based off of the real serial killer, Jack The Ripper (If that wasn't obvious lol) He's killed several female prostitutes throughout his spree.

If you're afab or present feminine, he's gonna be all over you one way or another.

Obviously, unlike the women he has targeted, you're not completely vurnerable and open to just about anything. He thinks he's infatuated with you because you perserveer through more than just matches. Also, the chases you give him are actually quite fulfilling.

Jack doesn't really think about women too much and only really thinks about himself. Of course on the outside, he's a 'gentleman' with a side of sarcastic asshole. But now that you're in the picture, he's a bit perplexed, and ultimately amused.

What makes you so different from any other woman here? What's a random newbie got him all worked up for?

It's honestly refreshing to get some sort of new thrill around here. Usually it's drab and sluggish when there isn't any event happening.

If you're amab or present masc, he'll be more interested in your skills and mindset more rather than your appearance.

Decoding type darling with be chased more than the actual kiters.

Kiting type darling gets tunneled and sometimes bled out

Dw most of the time, he takes pity on you and gives you dungeon after everyone else has either escaped, bled out, or sent back

Other times, he takes advantage of your wounded state and just spends time with you until the baron gets annoyed with how long yall are taking

Resucing type darling gets terrorshocked and terribly gets camped so there isn't any time or chance left of saving before they're sent off back to the manor.

Stun him and he's def tunneling no matter what type you are lol

Regarding to looks, maybe you actually just had a prettier face/more attractive body?

He can admit, there are a hell lot of attractive male survivors, but he never sought to fall for one.

The sight of you bleeding out on the Asylum floor, leading him with crimson hastily spread on the tiles.

Spouting nasty words at him, knowing you had used up all of whatever ability and strategy you may have had.

How dare you tease him. You're such a naughty thing.

You honestly did this yourself.

Okay here's how y'all met lmao

You connected with another hunter during a friendly match and were invited for tea/hangout date a few days later.

That's where they introduced you to a couple of the other hunters.

That's about one of the only times where he wasn't out for your blood lol

Jack made his way to the hunter who invited you and acted as if he was in a friendly mood.

He then jokingly made fun of you, saying, "My my, this new survivor is quite brave. To come onto the hunter's side of the manor; Now that is dedication."

The hunter that invited you slapped him up a lil bit lmao (They know he was genuinely being the asshole he always is 🤧)

From then on, in matches he always teased you

"Don't run Y/n! I really thought we had a connection!"

"You're honestly breaking my heart dear."

*Pallets him* "Argh... Now now Y/n, I don't think you want to do that again."

*Downs you* "You're far too naive to think you'd be able to escape dear." *traces a singular blade under the shape your jaw, letting only a bit of blood drip down your neck*

*Chairs you* "Sorry, not sorry love." *chuckles and maliciously grins under his mask*

*You save another surv* "Prehaps I should catch you instead Y/n!"

*Terrorshocks you* "Too bad you don't have eyes in the back of your feeble little head Y/n. Too weak for your own good."

*You are the last surv* "Dungeon won't do you any good Y/n, but I'll let you at least try."

*You somehow escape through gate* *Silent turned on anger*

As you can see, he LOVES the chase you give him.

He can never shit tf up, and he always makes sure you respond.

If you complain or confront him about it, he'll apologize and slightly brush it off as just jokes.

"Aw, I do apologize Y/n. You understand I am just joking."

Jack doesn't hide the fact he's into you, but he doesn't flaunt it.

On his own time when his Ripper side isn't effecting him as much, he likes to paint you.

Sometimes he'll paint you in a meadow of flowers in white attire. He sees this false sense of purity in you outside of matches.

Other times, he'll envision you in a desolate place. A location different from the manor, but not so far off of the misery that entails this place.

He knows you're not just an innocent kind person. You have a bad side like rest of them

You're human after all.

When you step through those manor doors, you are declared a participant. Not a saint.

Jack doesn't see you as one type of person. He sees you as this complex, mixed soul that has unfortunately seen too much for their own good.

He wants to salvage whatever purity you have left, and crush it to his hearts content

But what fun would be left if you were only this one dimensional miserable thing?

He likes a good chase you know.

Can't just walk up and slice you to ribbons right then and there, and call it a good kill.

That'd be a waste of time and effort.

So he plans to break you apart, and build you back up bit by bit.

Sadist ✔

I feel like he'd be on the board of kidnapping you, but I think it'd really depend on the circumstances.

If you made good friends with the previously mentioned hunter, then they're gonna have some problems.

It was probably Michiko or Mary. They're more lenient with survivors at times. The rest either often keep to themselves, don't like to socialize, or are more interested in other matters.

I know official art isn't canon, but I like to think he treats other people with respect and is gentlemanly when they aren't in a match setting.

It's really cute to see him hanging with the other hunters and messing with the survs okay?

Mary is nice, but she has a thing against survivors. It's not that she depises them; Some of them are simply better than others, and to be fair, they are technically rivals on opposing sides. So perhaps it's a natural thing.

Of course, she'll show concern if you complain to her.

"Oh- agh, is that what has you all worked up Y/n? Jack may be joking, but he really takes it too far sometimes. Since you are a survivor, I cannot promise you guaranteed safety, but do not fret. For I may be able to assist if I can."

Michiko doesn't enjoy being a hunter. She is very apologetic and tries not to brutally kill survs during matches.

Most survivors are on okay terms with her. Not many hold grudges against her for the harm she gives their way.

Michiko isn't a woman of many words, but she can speak her mind through only a few sentences.

She will be very worried if you complain to her.

The Ripper seems to be harassing you more often? That can't be good.

Jack got too close for comfort during your last match? She feels incredibly sorry for you. Did you need someone to stay close with for the afternoon? She can do that for you.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I cannot aid you during matches, but if you ever need any assist while I'm near, please do not be nervous to seek me out. No matter the circumstance."

If not, then great! Give him some more time to think about how to execute it and you'll be in his room on the Hunter's side in no time!

However, once he claims you, saying you three are good friends,

Mary and Michiko would cause an outrage.

"What do you mean Jack can have Y/n?! The Baron may be cruel with these games, but this is beyond inhumane!"

Michiko wouldnt verbally confront him, but she would physically assault him. Striking him harshly across his face with a mask on hers. Her action says it all.

Both agree you should only be escaping from danger if you're in a match or in a activity. Not from some lovesick unapologetic serial killer.

Michiko is the angrier one out of the two. If he 'loves' you so much, why is he hurting you? Love doesn't require your freedom in order to be with the other!

Jack isn't bothered. Though they both are a nuisance, the Baron has made the final decision with no question.

"Are you afraid of me dear? Please, do not be. I will protect you."

"But i've hurt you before? You understand I only follow the rules right? Don't be angry my love."

He doesn't even properly confess. No sit down, no run throughs, nothing. He just makes it clear that you're his lover, and his only.

"I love you Y/n. I'm obsessed with everything you do. Stay and and behave."

"You are not to look or think about anyone else other than me. Okay Y/n?"

His blades threaten you with each move,

and he knows that.

But Jack doessn't pay any mind to it as he's too occupied with playing with you to care.

You usually quiver in fear and anger during your stay

Your activites include pacing around his room, examining the space, crying and breaking down while he's not there, and just taking the affection he gives you while he is present.

He expects you to reciprocate most of the time. He understands this is new to you, but he knows eventually you'll get used to it, and let the Stockholm Syndrome set in.

If you don't love him back within the first 2 weeks, he's gonna start to get impatient and begin slowly threatening you.

Verbally and physically

"I wonder what would happen if I started to aim for their faces more often... What do you think Y/n?"

*Lightly traces a blade down your back, outlining your spinal cord* "Hm, I'm getting quite bored..."

He'd only let you out for matches, events and dates.

The first time you came back, survivors who did care and were companions came clambering with questions once you reached the waiting table

Are you alright?

Has Jack hurt you at all?

Is there any way to convince the Baron to let you go?

Do you all need a strategy so you can stay safe?

Do they need a strategy so they can stay safe?

After a while, they know now that Jack prefers not to injure you. Though that fact has been set in stone, it doesn't mean he won't hesitate to not hit you if he really needed to.

Since Jack usually bleeds your team out or sends them back to the manor,

Kiters try to lead him to you so he can change targets

They're sorry, they really are

But it's either your or them-

And they know their latter of the plate

Jack doesn't gravely injure you while you're kiting. He just chases you around.

He knows you need all that stored energy released

But he also misses playing with you like this

It's not like you two always get matched

Though the Baron does like to do it half of the time, the other half, you two are forcibly separated

It's only when your morality points are below 50 is when he'll let you go from keeping you out of matches that aren't with him

Maybe he'll swing with claws; Just barely grazing you

It's only when you foolishly bodyblock is where he'll seriously hit you

He'll have someone heal you first before offing them so then you'll be left with little to no injury.

This counts as a date, as you two can wander romantically around the map.

It's a nice change of scenery

Even if you've been there a thousand times in matches before, it's bigger and gives you more of a sense of freedom than when you're in that dreaded bedroom.

Decoders stay close to others

That often leads to unfinished ciphers all around the map

Jack doesn't dare waste time, so he knocks out any survivor that isn't you

When he sees a little decoder, he just can't help but tunnel them until stars start to circle around their head.

Rescuers either miraculously save or die via terrorshock

Other teammates who don't have stunning abilities, or don't have godtier kiting abilities, are usually too afriad to go and assist.

You always feel like a burden and liability to your team for not saving or assisting, but you know it's better to keep decoding. To keep out ot sight.

If Jack sees you, you're fucking toast.

So you stay behind the sidelines

There are times where you secure a tie, though it's no use to rejoice as you'll just be sent back to Jack's room.

Don't even try to think of escaping.

The survivors can't help you

The survs are already tired of fighting the hunters, why do you have to lead your big bad wolf over to their side???

The only time where they can somewhat relax is outside of matches and events where everyone can interact without bloodshed.

If you come over frantically asking for help, they'll try their best, but in the end, they'll only be severely injured and unsuccessful.

As much as they don't like seeing you in Jack's captivity, they don't need you dragging in any more problems than they already have.

Though his Ripper side is what he exhibits most of the time, his original self only comes out in the most tender moments (Which is pretty rare seeing how far gone he is by now)

Like when he paints you, or when you two are cuddling

There isn't that much hostility or bloodlust in his eyes during those times.

In fact, when he's back to his original personality, his unmasked face isn't Intimidating at all

He's honestly dreadfully beautiful

But with his Ripper personality, everything he does just throws you off

Okay actual yandere affection hcs hehe

Jack loooooveeeesss teasing you with playful and romantic words

"Are you going to keep me running after you little dove? You know I love a good chase, but we all have our limits..."

"It seems you are still shy, even after all this time. Perhaps, you are planning something a little more exciting than our kisses?"

"Life isn't worth living without you. Stay, and obey, and I'll show you a whole new world of things."

If you fluster easily, it's fucking game over for you lololol

"Don't turn you angelic face away darling, I don't like it when you hide yourself."

"I'll take everything you have. It's no use covering up if I just, break through."

He gets violently jealous when other people talk to you. Especially survivors.

He doesn't get as envious with hunters. Most of them don't really care and mind their business.

Some gossip and chuckle behind closed doors more than others, but he doesn't mind

Mary and Michiko always try to swipe you away every second they get, so he makes sure to steer clear of them

Everytime they successfully do, you just cry and breakdown, and try to let them know your status of health at the moment.

Knowing they can't really do anything, all they can do is console, listen, and cuss Jack out if they have the chance.

Sometimes they even have enough time before they either caught, or almost caught, to devise a small sabotage plan.

You dont want Jack to hold you against him so hard whole you two are out?

Geisha is coming in with an 'accidental' dash. Sorry Jack, she was in a hurry and placed the butterfly there mindlessly!

You want to be by yourself while you're outside his room?

Mary is forcing Jack to help redecorate the hunter side of the manor. She uses her mirror for symmetry, but just cant make up her mind!

Jack is tall, but he's sick of being used as a ladder of sorts and a conveyer belt for transferring weird decor items.

He leaves when about half an hour passes

"Don't you dare leave a lady waiting Ripper!"

*Runs away* "My apologies Lady Mary! I must get back to Y/n! Perhaps we can continue another time when my love isn't out and about!"

Jack isn't that worried about you running around

There's nowhere to hide

And even if you did try and go hide on the survivors side, you know he WILL slash and destroy everything and anything apart just to find you.

No one wants that, so don't burden the other irrelevant survivors with a mess you created.

Cuddling can soft, or very touchy

Soft cuddling is small talk with the covers up to your necks

Jack is always big spoon

Never ask to be in his place

Unless you want to be put back in yours

Touchy sessions are normal

He's careful with his blades of course, but he always has them lightly around your waist

It threatens you

Jack wouldn't dare to spill your guts right then and there right?

Even if you come back from death, he wouldn't prefer looking at you physically broken, right?

...

Pray bitch

Nahhhh jkjk it's only a scare tatic

Don't try him though

Pushiment is necessary

You can't escape it even if you've been good

He's strict in and out of the bedroom (not like that lmfao)

Jack had set out rules for you the moment he wrapped claws around you

The big three are,

Look at him, think about him, and love him, and him only

Don't escape

And don't you dare try getting by without even struggling

He may want to break you, but he doesn't want a toy that malfunctions after only a little while

He doesn't want you to be unrepairable

Unlike...

Break any of these at any time, day, moment, or circumstance,

And you're getting punished without mercy

A lesson can't be learned with not done properly no?

There isn't just a couple of set in stone punishments

Whatever he feels like doing to you, he'll do it

Why did you have to talk to Gatelea? You know, if he hadn't made it obvious enough, he'll just have to mark you as his

Again

Maybe he'll tear his initials in you this time. Even if you die and come back, the baron keeps the scars caused by Jack. It pleases the Ripper greatly.

You want to play in more matches? but don't you know that isn't allowed?

Oh well, it can't be helped. Jack will let you go after a little while of complaining.

But if you come back gravely injured? Oh, that's too bad. Emily isn't a hunter, and after all, you have to face the consequences of your own actions.

The only way to convince Jack to let you get treated is to beg. Beg on you hands and knees like your life depends on it (Which it does)

He'll take pity on you and waltz over to the survivors side with the Barons permission to heal his pet

Emily with no doubt, will try to get him out of the room just to talk to you while treating your injuries

"Why can't I stay with Y/n?"

"The patient has some injuries that may get worse with anxiety. Please let them breathe by themselves for a bit."

She'll then treat them while you quietly vent. After that, she'll embrace you.

Emily doesn't say much, but she knows that you need someone to understand your situation outside of matches.

She may have to leave you for dead during those games, but outside of them, she'll fight for you endlessly in more ways than one.

You don't reciprocate his affections?

He likes some fight, but resist for too long, and he won't hesitate to hold you down and threaten you.

"Don't think you're safe just because you're my beloved."

Sometimes he'll starve you of food if you've been ungrateful.

"Are you hungry my little dove? But if I supply you with food, you'll only end up more spoiled no?"

I like to think they have bathrooms in their personal rooms, so when you need to shower or change, he'll give you whatever you need and give you privacy

It's pretty much the only privacy he ever gives you

He has all of your clothes, but he controls what you wear wheater you like it or not

You only really get to wear your pants and shorts and such

Everything else you wear is his.

Hunters are like fucking 7ft and lanky asf so you're gonna fucking fit no matter what

Lots of material to work with laurv

Goes fucking crazy over your collar bones, shoulders, and thighs

Since he's from a more conservative time, off the shoulder tops and shorts have his brain cells fizzing out

*Insert that one SVTFOE clip where Star realizes she bi and is blushing hard asf*

"Are you trying to rile me up angel?"

Dates consist of three locations.

His room, match locations, and events

You two do the usual stuff in his room

Kissing, cuddling, talking, literally just living, etc.

In match locations, as explained above, he kills everyone else and strolls along the area with you

Events are actually pretty often

Parties for new essences, celebrations for the new year, birthdays, etc.

Jack will let you run around with your survivor friends because God knows you need it

But after that, you're gonna be on lockdown

"Did you have fun my dear Y/n? You didn't have more fun with them than with me hm?"

"That's good to hear. Now, let's get you cleaned up. You're covered in their filthy presence ."

He knows he shouldn't ruin such celebrations. They bring excitement and entertainment in a positive light.

Jack doesn't only love spilling the insides of the survivors, he also loves the lighter things in life.

Although all he wants to do is slaughter all of the survivors clambering around you, he surprisingly only turns away and finds a flock of his own

The other hunters tease him and sometimes prod at his relationship with you

UGH MY FUCKING GOD I MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE A PART TWO BC IM GOING OVER THE LIMIT WTF.

I'm sorry but this ask has made me fucking obsessed with Jack. I've never been into him before BUT THIS FUCKED ME UP. Thank you doing that.

#yandere #yandere blog #x reader #yandere identity v #yandere x reader #male yandere #identity v #idv #yandere ripper #yandere jack #headcannons #HELPP IM NOT EVEN DONE WITH SOME SMALL DETAILS AND IT STRESSES ME OUT SO BAD #idv ripper #idv jack

[hinderr]

Listen, I've read the last chapter and I want to say so much… First of all, it's insanely emotional. I really read with bated breath. I have so many emotions and thoughts about the ending right now, it's not what I expected, but it's insanely logical for this job. Gideon, as people in my country say, "what he fought for, he ran into."

It is interesting to watch how Grogu releases his attachment to him over the years - and at the same time how much he looks like him in places, it's creepy. This manipulativeness and the ability to make a naive, unhappy look in order to get your own - this is not from Din and not from birth. I'm really interested now to wait for the Nurture someday to understand how all this will reflect even more time later. And I still find it valuable that in past charter everyone - Din and the others - accepted Grogu's right to LOVE Gideon. Regardless of whether would he continued to feel it all his life or not, it was extremely important at that moment and, I think, it is important now. Because Grogu can now understand that even if he is not on the "right" road and feels "strange" feelings, he is still loved. Whether the situation changes or not is a matter of less importance. This is very important knowledge regardless of the present point.

By the way, Gideon's reaction to the meeting is interesting. He throws mockery at the fact that Grogu still cares, but he too does not behave like a person who does not care. It would seem - you never loved this child, five years have passed, what difference does it make that he is happy with another person? But no, Gideon behaves like… painfully attached, when it seems like he doesn't really need it himself, but you can't give it to another either. It’s hard to explain, but I really didn’t get the impression that he didn’t give a damn about all this long history.

Also, I don't think that's what you meant, but at some point I had a thought… what if Gideon purposely ran into a gunshot? It is clear that at first he was angry and really perplexed, but at some point … I thought so because it must be extremely difficult for a person of this kind to live in a prison cell. He has no power, no purpose, no Empire, for which he fought, in general, quite sincerely, regardless of methods. He is nobody and nothing. And he's smart enough to be fully aware of it. What if at some point he saw that Grogu was sufficiently angry with him and he had a weapon with him - and decided to take advantage of the situation. But that's just my thoughts.

I do not know what to say. This is probably one of the first works not in my native language that so captivated me and that I read in the process, looking forward to each chapter. Because the languages we speak are different, but the theme is international. The whole work is very … reliable, and sometimes the emotions from reading were such that I morally departed from the new chapter couple of days. This is something unique and beautiful, although it tells about terrible and sad events. I love each of the characters. Wren is not a canon character, usually I don’t perceive OC at all, but with you he is so alive and real that he looks … native. He doesn't stand out from others in a bad way. His character, personality, motives and feelings are all so believable, he's beautifully written.

Thank you. It was cool)

This is so so undeniably sweet and so so thoughtful and god I am so, so happy you enjoyed the finale (I'll be honest, your reactions was one of those I was anticipating the most!) And I'm glad you were willing to look past the language barrier to read my silly story! It means the world to me, and I can't possibly express just how much I've appreciated your support - every ask and reply and interaction makes me so so happy!!

There's a bit of Gideon in Grogu, but there's a bit of Grogu in Gideon as well. You're absolutely right that Gideon got just a tiny bit attached, in the most messed up way possible. He hated the fact that his Asset saw another person as his father, and that 'he was a better buir than (he'll) ever be', even though he hated it when Grogu called him father too. What you said about not needing something but not letting anyone else have it is exactly on point, and I'm so so happy you got that

And I'm so happy you liked Wren Farvo too! He was a plot device at first, but I've grown to genuinely love and adore him. He means the world to me and I'm so happy you liked meeting him (I probably won't be able to resist slipping him into some of my other works as a side character. Just to carry him along as we go)

Again thank you so so much! I'm happy you've enjoyed it, and I'm happy to have made you happy <33

#the mandalorian #grogu djarin #study on nature and nurture #study on nature and nurture asks #also: i wont comment on gideon running into the gunshot part. i am neither confirming...nor am i denying :)

[66553211]

8.20.22

I'm starting this as a journal. I hope it makes me better. Maybe it won't. If anything, maybe it can just be a place for me to... release. Lately, I feel like a liar. Being around other people is so hard. Even the ones I like, and especially the ones I love. I don't want them to know I'm getting bad again. Getting bad in a way that some of them have never even seen. A way I haven't really been in 10 years. Maturity, growth are supposed to be linear. How do I explain that some days I wonder if I've learned anything at all since 15? Some days I know I'm not that person and I am better. And then I slip again. The thing that makes me the most ashamed is that I think some of it is a choice. Not a choice from the front part of my brain. The part that is my conscience and knows this cycle of destruction has no productive quality. The part that likes my friends and talks to acquaintances at work. The part that knows violence is wrong, even against ones self. This part of me genuinely does not want to feel isolated, in pain. But there's also a deeper part of me. One that still has free will. That wields that will darker and deeper. It's like that part of me wants me to fail. It wants me to relapse, to bite myself, and choke, to kill myself. Lately I'm really tired of fighting it. It is so much easier to let it be in control. I know this may contradict everything that I just said, but I don't really care, because contradictions make the human character more interesting and perplexing. That bad part of me, it makes me feel almost safe. Maybe safe isn't the exact right word, because it also makes me scared sometimes. But its.... easy? Simple. It's simple. It's simple to be in addiction. It's not easy for fuck. But simple. Everything leads to 1. 1 thing. 1 track mind. Even if that 1 thing is absolute destruction, I crave the simplicity of letting it rule me. To be out of control. That is what I have always desired, and is probably a root cause of my addiction problems. I actually don't want to be in charge of my own destiny. I do not want to be culpable for my own choices, my own actions. Because I am scared of the ugliness I choose. What are we if not just an accumulation of all our choices in life? I do not think I believe that someone can be "good" and do bad things. Aren't we nothing if not our actions? I mean I also don't believe in good vs bad so dichotomously either. I just mean if you did a bad thing, that thing you did was bad. I don't understand when people talk about "someone being good deep down." Like, it's just kind of irrelevant information. What we think and feel deep down in some ways isn't real. Not outside of our own inner existence. So it kind of doesn't matter unless it actually manifests into anything outside of the self. Unless those thoughts or feelings become an action, they are meaningless. I can acknowledge that this viewpoint I am describing does serve my own self-image. I sometimes have really bad thoughts and feelings. I could describe them here, and I might later, but for now I am scared that writing them down could give them more power. Then they do have a place they exist in this world outside of myself, even if it is just this diary that I sincerely hope no one reads. But maybe if I wrote them down and faced them, they would lose their power of secrecy over me. Anyway, like I was saying, this philosophy serves my own self-image. Because, then I'm not really bad unless I do the bad things. All that really matters of my life is how I impact others, so long as I don't make the thoughts real, I can still be good.

[britneyshakespeare]

i hate writing poetry & i hate sharing it. hate all of it. it is a curse on my life.

#sometimes i honestly feel like i'm stuck doing this thing no one ever encouraged me to do in the first place #like i was always intrinsically motivated and i love the art!!!! but now that it's a somewhat significant part of my #sense of self for many years now... what do???? i do????? #so much to show and yet i feel like i have nothing to show *for it* #tales from diana #it doesn't really matter it's just perplexing to me sometimes to think about how much time and paper i've... i don't wanna say wasted #used up #in the pursuit of a craft i'm not even sure i fully appreciate #or at least i rarely appreciate #i have moments. i have times where i feel i have written something good and i bask in it for a day or so. #(not even a day more like a couple of hours) #and then i show it to a couple of people and receive positive feedback and well that's just it #and i post maybe 1 in 4 ish poems i actually write on my poetry blog. if i feel like it. #i mostly just have that as an archive for myself i don't actually give a fuck if anyone reads it but it's nice to *have* there #for reference #to keep track of things i've written but i don't even post... everything i LIKE on there because i save a lot #for potentially publishing #(ha) #(publication is the auction of the mind of man) #(poverty--be justifying/for so foul a thing) #and a lot of things i post on there i don't like #but then most of what i don't post i don't like either #like i've written like every day in the last week (i write usually about every day anyway) and i've not been posting much at all really #it's exhausting. like i don't even care anymore. #and my exhaustion is not about any insecurity in my skill or whatever--i'm fine at the physical craft. i can wield a rhyme and a metaphor #i know that. ive known that for a really long time #i need to stop writing so much poetry. i need to go back to reading more poetry and fall in love w other ppl's words again #i haven't had so much time to read in the past few months now that i've somewhat got a social life and it kinda burns me out #i love my friends but i miss my....... *gestures at my bookshelf* other friends #the ones in my head on the paper. i miss those ones i love them a lot.

[tonesplash]

twilight boys encountering a 'pick me'

a/n: just felt like writing something fun w these three today. edwards is the longest because i like him. reqs are open :))

warnings: both edward and emmetts get a lil dark, seth has the only sane response, cursing and fem!reader

edward cullen

he has no choice but to know everyone in a 5-mile radius, so as soon as he lays eyes on them in his head, he's already like 'this fucking guy😒'

genuinely perplexed how they thought this was going to go

Edward is a curious man. Humans are weird creatures. So the first time they approach he is going to at least give them the benefit of the doubt.

As soon as they even spoke ill of you—

*Heavy sigh*

"Come on." And then throws his arm over your shoulders and walks away like a fucking diva, as many times as it takes.

if they are a little harder to get rid of

his first instinct is to protect, if he senses you can't take it or remove you from the situation if you are the type to throw hands lol

doesn't really matter who they are

"Edward, that was my lab partner, you dick."

"Yeah? They were about to tell me all about how you used to eat dirt and then ask out for coffee later. Do you want to turn around?"

if they don't take the hint, then boo hoo, they can face the consequences of messing with the guy willing to die for his s/o

Edward gets mildly psychological. he never touches a hair on their head, but his methods are a little... long-lasting

he won't tell you either, you'll just be curious and ask after your usually persistent annoyance

you asked how they were doing one night over the phone, and they'd shakily confessed to you that lately, just when they start to think they're alone, in tight rooms and smaller spaces, the lights will cut off, doors slamming shut and locking tight for sometimes hours until someone finds them. They ask if they can speak to Edward. He hits the end call button.

they don't answer your texts anymore :/

that, and the hostile stares across the lot, usually gets the job done

but if it's someone you absolutely have to be around, or you explicitly make it clear you want this person in your life for whatever reason,

he can muster the niceties, but that doesn't stop him from pressuring you to get rid of them, even if you think you aren't personally affected, hearing negative things flung around about you is mentally taxing to anyone going on for long enough, and he doesn't think forcing a fake friendship for any reason is healthy

if the reason you give him is something materialistic—say you are using them for their pool

he will pave it in your backyard like those guys on youtube using bamboo and mud if it means you listen to him

if they cross the line again he is absolutely that guy to stop the conversation with "and what do you mean by that?" "What is that supposed to mean."

until they respond, completely killing the vibe 🙄

emmett cullen

you already know what it is

anything this man thinks is coming out of his mouth right away

they try to be subtle, making little digs at you here and there, and smoothing it over with some personal anecdote no one asked for or acknowledges. Give him a second. Emmett is a little slow to catch things like this.

Maybe they take it too far, or if you complain about it at all–

*80+ years of American public school activated*

"The hell did you just say?"

and if they try to apologize, backtrack with some well-meaning bs to get on his good side?

absolutely DISGUSTING, begone thot

"People wouldn't hate you so much if you weren't so weird all the time" 🥴

Emmett isn't out to blow anyone cover or anything, but what are the Volturi going to care about a couple of American highschool write-ups

unrelated, but now I'm imagining one of the Cullens(probably still Emmett) having a prison arc because they keep beating high school children's asses until they are sentenced and then breaking out years later. it becomes a local legend and his mugshot is memed for years

he gets mean, but if they wanted him to stop, they wouldn't shit talk his girlfriend right in front of his face

Emmett is a car guy. I'm sure he identifies strongly w transformers. his first thought is always gonna be the car.

he isn't above dinging doors and bumpers, keying something mildly threatening, perhaps rigging it up to his jeep and hauling it to the far side of the parking lot and ruining their transmission for the entire school to see, if he's feeling wild

If they don't have a car? He at least has the self-control for some mild intimidation.

walking a crowd is always a risk. You never know who is going where at what time, who could step on a lace, stick a leg out, snatch their collar like scruff and yank sharply until they fall on their ass

It's petty, girl.

seth clearwater

He picks up on their dislike of you pretty quickly and is kind of worried for you cause–

Are you not aware? That this one person really seems to dislike you? Why is no one else talking about this?

he wants to be nice to your friends, so he waits for your cue, desperately side-eyeing you for the entire conversation, waiting for you to shut their jealously down

they say something rude about the way girls like you take care of yourself and he is just beyond over it and blurts "Okay—What?!"

really pitchy and confused, and also blinking incredulously because what the hell is their problem

Seth is a pretty persistent guy, and he not going to just let someone slip an awkward insult at you and continue to talk to him like normal

he'll be nice at first when they immediately apologize to you and him profusely and everything is cool again

until five minutes later, when you mention being a little tired and they cut in to ask him how you can even keep up with him, greedily eyeing the smooth brown skin of his arms, exposed by his sleeveless shirt, not subtle at all in their admiration of the lean musculature

"What are yOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT⁉️" he explodes, controlled in his anger but soo frustrated at having to listen to this crap, and then the unwanted advances.

he figured it was part of it with the redirection of every subject back to them, but he can't even think about that because that came completely out of left field and he can't just gloss over it again to keep the pace, mamas 😩 yes he says mamas, his sister is a lesbian i think its funny

completely bitches them out, but it's just an itemized list of every horrible thing this person has shown about themselves in the short time he has been around them — and after he has said his peace, calmly leaves

you follow him,ofc

#sometimes u remember there is more to fanfic than making edward cullen give head #twilight imagine #edward cullen x reader #requests open #twilight imagines #reader insert #emmett cullen x reader #emmett cullen imagine #seth clearwater x reader #fluff #seth clearwater imagine #pick me culture #twilight headcanons #headcanons #breaking dawn #new moon #eclipse #the wolf pack #the cullens

[asavt]

Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

#Headcanon time baby! #The cookie squad #Espresso Cookie #Madeleine cookie #espresseleine #madespresso #Roguefort cookie #Almond cookie #Latte Cookie #Sparkling cookie #Vampire cookie #Walnut cookie #Bar gays

[kaisa-ryo]

Attention deficit (pt. 1)

jujutsu kaisen

Characters: Itadori Yuji, Satoru Gojo, Megumi Fushiguro, Inumaki Toge, Sukuna Ryōmen, Nanami Kento, Suguru Geto

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

Itadori Yuji

Itadori in this situation acts, oddly enough, completely primitive. The less attention he sees from you, the more he tries to get him back. In other circumstances, this might even seem exaggerated, but here and now this is the most critical moment. What does he do? Yes, everything in a row: drops the book, turns its pages, rummages in the bag, humming softly to himself, and so on ... And all this continues until it comes to stroking the hips and lightly squeezing one palm, while the other rewrites the abstract ...

- I miss the old y/n. - he gives out with sadness in his eyes.

At this moment, the game of interest begins: you feel how simultaneously there is a feeling of spontaneous and purposeful manipulation, how you are gently and imperceptibly pushed towards the long-awaited goal.

In such a situation, one could easily succumb, but you, resisting this, answer:

- Yuji, I'm very busy right now.

It would seem that a strong guy fights curses, trains with the strongest shamans, but with ordinary words it is so easy to break.

It's hard for you to realize that right now he is depressed because of you. It's unusual to see a sad Yuji almost always smiling and making others do the same. Especially you.

And so you compromise, intertwining your fingers, frowning slightly and pretending to listen to something inside yourself ... After that, Yuji remains in this position for a long time, as if afraid to frighten you off, because now such closeness between you is too valuable to miss out.

Satoru Gojo

It turns out that sometimes even acting like a fool doesn't help you pay attention to Gojo. First, the way you constantly focus on the same thing, so that the words in your speech get confused, takes on a comic character, and he comes to the idea that, for no reason, for no reason, you decided that work is more important to you than himself. Then you stop paying attention to him altogether. You no longer look at him from under your brows, do not frown at the idiotic jokes with which he is trying to distract you, as it was yesterday. Satoru notices that you are much smaller. He is puzzled and even confused. Finally, it occurs to him that you just have nothing to do, and comes up with the craziest idea to entertain you.

- What are you doing? - a voice of a man sounded nearby, who had been watching you with interest for some time.

There was no answer. However, it is not surprising.

- Okay, okay, you don't have to answer... - He looked away.

This was his usual technique. After asking several meaningless questions, he suddenly fell silent, as if giving you the opportunity to think over the answer properly, and he himself imperceptibly removed, leaving you in complete confusion. But this time, due to the circumstances, the technique had to be slightly changed.

In the next moment, he was already pressing you to him and, taking advantage of this, with his other hand began to explore the curves of your body. The reaction was as if you were doused with boiling water or doused with cold water.

- What are you doing? - You asked in a trembling voice.

- Checking to see if you got fat after we lost sex. - still clinging to you, he answered. You were taken aback and began to push him away from you.

- I have not grown fat, let me go! You barked, feeling his arms tighten. - Let go! Fool! Let go!

Hands rested on your back, and he began to rock you slowly, stretching the moment when you finally stop resisting.

- It's okay, y/n. You just need to calm down. - he whispered, not hearing your words.

There is a mess in my head, the goal of your resistance has fled somewhere, and you start desperately hugging the man while he grins at the fact that he managed to do what he wanted.

Megumi Fushiguro

Megumi is not one of those who will behave like a child, attracting attention to herself when you do not even know the reason for her loss. He will speak to you as soon as he notices it.

- Do you want to talk about it?

You rub your eyes with fatigue, but you shouldn't ignore Fushiguro's question, because it concerns the two of you. No matter how serious his intentions are, he will always be there to remind you that you can talk to him about what worries you.

- I... will hardly give any good advice, but I will try to make it easier for you after the conversation. Megumi continues after a minute of your silence.

Even such a seemingly small detail as being able to talk to someone else significantly reduces stress and other not-so-good emotions. And the guy knows it.

- You can always count on my help. - already with a drop of confidence he says, and it's like the touch of a soft, pleasant hand on your shoulder. Of course, he does this primarily because he is worried, but this is only a secret cover for the fact that he is upset that you turned away from him, without noticing the real reason.

"Fushiguro, if I do this, I don't know... I... will feel like this..." The words elude you. It’s hard to even think about what you’ll say next.

The guy spreads his arms to give you room to hug and apologize, but you just put your head on his shoulder. You don't want to talk about anything else. The chest against which your head is pressed turns into a pillow. And then a quiet voice is heard:

- I'm not mad at you. You can stay here as long as you like.

But here you won't need anything as long as Fushiguro is around.

Inumaki Toge

Not surprisingly, the first thought that comes to him is "it's all because of the damned speech."

Does he talk to you too little? Maybe he is too quiet and invisible for you? Perhaps you are afraid that someday he will take control of you? From such questions echoing in my head, my jaws come together and a lump appears in my throat. But the worst thing is that Toge begins to doubt his right to meet with you, because he cannot even talk to you with dignity, as a person to a person. Even your sweet persistence, which sometimes breaks through the boundaries of ordinary attempts to turn the conversation back on track, does not help. As a result, when it comes to your attention deficit, he begins to think that all this time you did not notice him, as if he was one of those whom you forgot on the first day.

- Okaka? - the young man has been trying to attract your attention with his eyes for a long time, but it seems that even words cannot help.

- Sorry, Toge. I'm not in the mood today...

The guy was actually a perfectionist and would rather have your smile shine every day. I wish he could turn back time right now, scroll to the moment when something went wrong and fix it at any cost.

Inumaki tucked a lock of your hair behind his ear to see your face behind it. He knew you had flawless skin and plump, sensual lips. He would admire your face for hours.

The next second, the blond rested his head on your lap, looking into your eyes. You liked such cute things from him. They weren't vulgar or inappropriate. They were what she needed.

You smile faintly and stroke the hair on the back of his head, touching his cheek with your fingertips.

Sukuna Ryōmen

This is the case when Sukuna uses passive aggression. Slightly wrong, some small sign of ignorance - his speech turns into direct pressure on your relationship with him. He can really hurt you a lot if you don't appreciate his efforts to make you even a little happier. Most often they are small and insignificant, the kind that anyone would do, but for the King of Curses, this is really something grandiose. And since he has many ways to destroy your relationship, if you think he made a mistake, remember how it hurts him.

- Will you ignore me again? - Sukun asked with imperious anger, the last pieces of despair were dying in his soul. - And where is your mercy? If I have become disgusting to you, why do you continue to need me?

There was nothing to answer. It was not pride that tormented him at all, but an ever-deeper regret that with your equanimity you just caused another outbreak of rage in him. Most of all, the thought that you, perhaps, does not even notice it, and your eyes clouded with pain glide over something that is very dear to him, terrified him.

The dead silence continued, and my chest ached more and more. Then there was a soft groan:

- Y/n, I love you.

Tears ran down your cheeks, but did not brush them away with my hand. You knew it wasn't going to help. Bitter emotions generated by the word "love" are not able to be burned out on the face, like the sun on clay. You can't stop feeling. And all the same, looking at you was as painful as seeing your motionless glazed gaze.

He hugged you from the back as soon as he felt that you were repenting. Like the time you forgave him for calling you your own. He had strong hands - you can be sure. He was very gentle. You felt less pain. Maybe in the future it will be difficult for him to remember this, but now he tightly squeezed you in his arms and was so affectionate that you wanted him to never let you go.

Nanami Kento

He begins to suspect that something is wrong very early. First, morning kisses disappeared somewhere before leaving for work, then sincere conversations at the table, and then completely short meetings with glances. Moreover, the last remnants of intimacy are gone. Nanami began to think that something had happened to you. He always tried to protect you from any problems. And so you found yourself right in front of him, so closed and detached, he could not so easily take away the comfort and peace that he had been creating for so long and skillfully. And first of all, of course, he will lend you a helping hand to make it easier for you as quickly as possible.

A perplexed look will appear from under dark eyelashes after a man touches your forehead with his palm. It seems that the whole thing is not about health.

- You don't have a fever. He began.

- I know, thanks.

But Kento was clearly hinting at something.

- So what's up? - then you know what Nanami means. But she said nothing.

- Y/n, I do not want to impose anything on you, I just need to know what is happening to you so that our relationship with you does not suddenly go downhill.

The man took your hand and brought it to his lips. Nanami felt that if he said something now, he would commit tactlessness. And so he was silent, waiting for your answer.

- Sorry... - Tears began to burn my eyes. - I am very, very ashamed. I... it's just hard for me now, but it will pass by itself. I'm sure.

You pressed as tightly as possible to the man, hugged him and buried your face in the chest. He put his hand on your head encouragingly. I already didn't care about the problem as a whole. Now for you there was only what you felt - his soft stroking, the smell of a strong male body, warmth and care, and there was nothing but that.

Suguru Geto

He will take it calmly, without intention. But she won't ignore it. Often he will offer tea or something else, just to get at least one word out of you, in an attempt to bring you into conversation. He will not touch you without asking, because he knows about the value of personal space. And yet, for a while, it can fiddle with spontaneous statements in order to simply take away the soul and break a long silence.

- I see your day is going well... - Geto smiles with restraint. - Lots of news for me?

Guessing that he is once again trying to create a dialogue between you was almost nothing. But you are, of course, silent.

- I see. - Suguru sits down next to you, as close to your side as possible, not giving a damn if you don't like it.

- Maybe I offended you in some way? - he continues. - Or are you just not too open in your thoughts?

- Nothing. It's okay. - you throw.

- But it seems to me that no. - he takes your hand in his, as if trying to make you smile. “I think you have something to tell me, don’t you? He raises his eyebrows, expecting your reaction. Instead of answering, you grimace with a shrug. Suguru repeats the question:

- So what happened? Why don't you want to share your thoughts with me?

- What would you like? You ask. - Would you be happy to know that there is a perfect girl with great manners, beautiful and intelligent, whom you deserve?

To be honest, Suguru did not expect such an answer. You can see that he is a little dumbfounded, but quickly comes to his senses. And then he starts laughing - so sweet and sincere that you start to feel embarrassed and blush with shame.

- And I was already expecting something more terrible. He laughs. - Okay, be it your way. I'm not a particularly sentimental person. I do not know what to say.

- Tell me you feel terribly in love. - grabbing his wrist, you say.

The brunette makes a startled face again. But you do not retreat - you hold him for a few more seconds, forcing him to surrender. - Only from the bottom of my heart ...

- Y/n, I feel terribly in love with you and will never fall in love again next time. So? He asked, grinning.

Wiping away the tears of happiness, you hugged him without words, while he, hugging you with one hand, exhaled with relief.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk imagines #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk itadori #jjk megumi #jjk satoru #jjk fushiguro #jjk fluff #itadori yuji x reader #megumi x reader #satoru gojō x reader #sukuna x reader #nanami x reader #itadori x you #megumi x you #satoru x you #inumaki x y/n #inumaki x reader #sukuna x y/n #nanami x you

[bored-storyteller]

@severnrose honey, I shouldn't have preferences but how could I wait to write for you and Xiao?

Dear Xiao, sweet Xiao, thank you for asking, I have good reasons to love you :3

60- Genshin Impact, Xiao x Reader (angst/comfort)

From the prompt list

17- "Am I the reason you cry every night?"

33- "Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?"

For Xiao you are like a little sparrow, so fragile and so free at the same time. He never understood what bad star forced you to meet with him, it was something so unlikely that it might have seemed ironic, but still he never tried to put you in a cage. You didn't deserve it. Sure, you're an absurd being, sometimes annoying, sometimes inconsistent and stupid, but you're also something he never bothered to find, a free kindness and a relief he always knew he didn't deserve.

So he never wanted to condemn you to a relationship with someone like him.

For this reason, when the darkness inside him had become heavier, when he realized he had gone too far, he pushed your worried eyes away from him. It was his job to protect you too, and he hadn't noticed the wound he had inflicted on you.

He is never too kind with words, he doesn't talk much and when he does he is never able to sweeten his sentences. It has always gone well with you.

Yet this time something was different; maybe he had been worse without realizing it, or maybe you were more fragile than usual, but he immediately opened a cruel door in front of you and a wave of awareness hit you. Yes, you were nothing but a burden to him.

Xiao hadn't seen you since that day. Or rather, he had happened to see you around, as always, doing your chores, helping where there was need, but he had no longer had the opportunity to be with you, alone, as you used to do from time to time, maybe in the evening, under the stars.

Initially he hadn't done anything, he hadn't thought of anything either. You were simply too busy, as he was, on the other hand.

But one night, about to give way to the morning, while he was checking his wounds, your sobs had come to him, and so did the next night, and the one after that.

He found himself listening to your silent cry every night, and he watched over you, albeit from a distance. And when he reluctantly had to walk away, he cursed anyone who caused you that unspoken suffering. If only you wanted to tell him he would be ready to protect you, again. But again, you were a fragile, free little bird, and he wasn't enough for you, he wasn't enough to take the pain away from your heart. Someday in the near future that would pass, everything passes for mortals, and maybe he could see you smiling again under the stars. This was what he believed - or hoped for.

But in one of those dark moments, your call rang in his ears and vibrated in his bowels. Wherever he was, he recognized his name spoken by you, in the agony of your nights.

He had joined you immediately, he had immediately appeared there, standing at your bedside.

Your name had escaped his lips perhaps too quickly, and for a few seconds he waited for an answer that never came. In its place, your sobs continued soft and distressed, your body curled up under the pale sheets.

He should have sensed right away, that yours was just a moan in your sleep, but somehow it had been necessary for him to chase the chance to see you again. How long had he not seen you?

Your suffering face made his heart tremble; he would have devoured your nightmares if you asked him.

He again spoke your name, his hand shaking you slightly, trying to tear you out of your dream.

Your reaction had been more violent than he expected and had broken the composure of the Adeptus for a moment, making him move backwards, taken by surprise. However, he thought it was normal, given the sudden awakening.

"Xiao!" His name had been uttered by your voice in amazement, but it was soon abandoned as you took your eyes off his figure "What are you doing here?"

The delicate face of the millennial Yaksha frowned in perplexity. Even now that he was there in front of you, did you persist in hiding your torments from him?

"You called me." His response was swift and straightforward, as always.

"I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to, I'm really sorry." Your apologies were fragile and uncertain.

Xiao let out a slight sigh, while his dark lashes lowered to the precious gold irises.

"Why don't you tell me?" The question he asked you later was unexpected, and for a moment you shivered at the authority of his voice, but he didn't realize "What happened?"

"Nothing." You cut it short and it irritated him. You knew how to be so stubborn when you wanted to.

"I hear your sobs every night."

He didn't want to utter those words as an accusation, maybe he hadn't even done it, but suddenly you stiffened and bowed your head even more, guilty.

"I'm sorry…!" Now your voice was broken and desperate, and a doubt began to creep into Xiao's mind as slimy as a snake.

How long haven't you called him? Why weren't you looking at him? Why weren't you smiling at him anymore?

"Who ... has anyone hurt you?" Now it was he who had lost confidence in his voice.

"Nobody ... really." You had obviously made an effort to stay calm, and somehow reassure him. But even though he didn't really understand human emotions, even though he was a different and detached creature, he could sense you.

"It's me…?" He couldn't explain why, but he felt like he was hurting himself "Am I the reason you cry every night?"

Your silence was a new pain for him. You didn't dare look at him, because it was hard for you to admit how much his distance and his disappointment had upset you.

But behind his sweet stoic face he prayed to have your eyes on him, he prayed for you to remove that horrible, strange feeling that made its way inside him, at least until he was forced to turn his back on you.

Xiao is used to pain and suffering, but that time something had changed. It was something new, something he never wanted to try.

A fist clung to his chest, and he trembled. How long had his hands no longer been shaking?

He thought he was about to give in, he believed that finally his heart would break under the weight of the new, umpteenth, fault of him.

He felt the physical need to vent that sudden wave of suffering that had hit him. He wanted to cry, but Xiao didn't know what it meant to cry, so he didn't, and he just vanished, not even looking at you.

It was the only thing he could do to protect you, right? If he was the cause of your suffering, then he would no longer exist for you. It didn't matter what he did, he didn't even ask himself, he just knew he hurt you. After all, he must already know that this was his destiny.

...

You never called him again, and Xiao never showed up again. Yet, although he endured this condition with the same resignation with which he endured every painful task of him, he realized that the selfish desire he had for you had not ceased. He didn't know how to call it by name, he just knew that it was really selfish, on his part, to expect that a little bird like you at least a little bit remained attached to him.

However, even if you despised him, even if he could no longer hear your voice or your laugh even though you were still breathing, somehow at least he hoped to remain present in your memory.

So every morning a flower was placed on your window sill. He never brought you the same type of flower two consecutive days. He didn't admit it to himself, but he wanted at least in one corner of your mind the whole Liyue to remind you of him. The scent of its flora, its colors and the sweetness of it, he hoped that even if you didn't want those things would make you think of that cruel guardian. Not that Xiao dared compare himself to flowers, no, but certainly those flowers could be compared to you for him.

The Adeptus wasn't good with words, but he was capable of meaningful and powerful gestures - it was something you loved about him.

You didn't need to know that those flowers came from him - even if it was unlikely they were someone else's gifts - and he relied on your kindness to accept them with a smile.

For a while it had worked. Even though he could no longer see you and have you around, that little contact you maintained had given him a sense of peace. In evil it was that little drop of good that gave him the relief he needed.

But he couldn't deserve that either.

One morning, when the first rays of the sun began to paint the earth with the warm colors of dawn, he came to your window. The Glaze Lily he had plucked for you had remained clasped in his hands as his eyes painfully gazed upon the Qingxin he had given you the previous day, left to itself on the windowsill, away from your care.

It was so, even the thought of him you could no longer bear.

The flowers stopped coming and Xiao stopped hoping. He only prayed that Rex Lapis would see your sweetness and cherish it with love, without needing you to endure the protection of a cursed Adeptus.

...

Xiao wanted to see you again, but certainly not right now.

The first thing his mind thought was nothing, then immediately afterwards he wondered which Archon had to thank for not killing you during his battle, and then all that was important was that you were standing in front of him, and looking at him, even if from a distance.

His mask frees his face as soon as his eyes settle on you. How long had he not seen you? For a moment the pain disappears, a wonderful, ephemeral second of peace. And then again the weight of darkness falls upon him.

He should run away, run away from your sight, but like under a spell he is stuck in his place, and you still don't run away.

You are pale and scared, your eyes full of tears. How much have you seen? How long have you been there?

It doesn't matter if the blood that covers him is that of his enemies, of those who want to harm those like you, all that matters is how Xiao now appears before you: a figure disfigured by the red of shattered life, a devouring demon .

He should go, but you call him.

"Xiao ..." His name in your voice is a desperate breath as it is sweet, and you run to meet him in your anguish.

He can't look at you, not when he's like that. He looks at the ground covered in repulsive liquids, without having the courage to meet your judgment. He would have liked to see you again, but now he is ashamed of who he is, he is ashamed of being Alatus, of being the Conqueror of Demons and the Eater of Dreams, he is ashamed of being Xiao before your pure eyes.

Now you are a few steps away, he hears you, but you are afraid to approach. He wonders why you ever even wanted to come close to him again, was it your good heart that pushed you to do it?

"Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?" He did not want to ask that question, yet he posed it in front of you limpid and clear, as his "no" always are.

If he could die he would no longer distress you, nor would he hurt you, nor would he make you cry. If he could die, all aeons of unspoken pain would disappear. If he couldn't exist, everything would be better. But he can't, he has to live.

"If we are such a heavy burden to you why do you continue to protect us?" Yours is not a nasty question asked, it is rather a sweet worry distorted by insecurity.

His golden eyes return to immerse themselves in yours by instinct, without really wanting to.

"It's my duty, it's my ..." Xiao realizes he can't speak "But you're not ..." he tries again, but he can't.

He can't explain that knot blocking his throat and voice, which he can't spit or swallow.

It is my duty, my contract. But you are not a burden, you will never be.

His eyelids drop again and his head bows in chagrin. You are everything in front of him, and he is nothing in front of you.

"Don't look at me ..." is all he can tell you "You don't have to see me like that."

He was convinced that you didn't want to see him anymore, he was convinced that you wanted to forget him, but then why did your trembling hands rest so lovingly on his face?

"You are so beautiful Xiao." Your broken voice was asking him desperately to believe you, and he in front of your face now so close to him has no way to escape.

The misunderstandings between you two, the pain and the fear, no longer mattered.

Your arms gently encircle his chest and your head rests on his shoulder, without asking for permission, but he won't be the one to walk away, not now that he's found you.

"I'll get you dirty." He murmurs.

"It does not matter." You answer him softly.

You have no respect for the ways of the Adepti, but that is precisely why he needs you.

"Please be happy to live, Xiao."

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #xiao genshin impact #Xiao #genshin angst #angst/comfort #angst #genshin request #genshin oneshot

[maplecornia]

chapter 30

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.85K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: another yoongles focus lol i just figured out that i really don't have much to say in these things anymore, i might save the a/n's for the end next time

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear | @mangminnie | @pixiekooo | @canarystwin | @cana

This is not exactly how you expected to meet Min Yoongi.

His hand tightens around your wrist as he drags you through the halls of BigHit, and you silently pray that your small legs can keep up.

Looking up at him, you can't help but be a bit confused.

Why is he so angry anyway?

You didn't do anything to him.

Certainly nothing worth yanking your arms off.

Wincing as he turns a corner, your eyes widen as he opens a door and practically shoves you inside a dark room. You stumble a bit, an inner instinct inside of you resurfacing. You find yourself frantically looking for any form of exit, any form of a way out. When you find none, you swallow hard, feeling your hands palpitate with cold sweat and your breathing run short. Turning briskly to where Yoongi stands in front of the door, you step forward, ready to push past him and bolt before you’re hurt, but the look in his eyes stops you.

They’re soft, confused and slightly caught off guard. You wonder if the fear that prickles off of your skin is as evident to him as it is to you. Taking a deep breath, you swallow hard, trying hard not to show your discomfort. Inwardly, you chastise yourself for even considering that Min Yoongi would have any malicious intent towards you, but you can't help it when put into a situation like this...

Dark room.

Blocked exits.

No way of escape.

You can't help but be on your guard.

A bit confused, but choosing not to question it, Yoongi gestures towards a clothing rack to the left. Blinking, you turn towards it, begging yourself to relax. When he advances into the room, however, you flinch and frantically back up, straight into a tray of forgotten makeup and hair products.

He immediately stops at the reaction, and you downcast your eyes shamefully praying he doesn’t realize what you’ve tried so hard to cover up. However, as he takes in your frightened eyes, tense stance, and the shallow breath, he knows that somehow he has triggered a memory.

From the looks of it, even a form of trauma.

Definitely not what I expected.

Taking a deep breath, he turns on the light before turning to you with his hands up in a form of surrender. Almost a peace treaty. "Relax, I'm just trying to get a shirt for you."

You swallow hard, already feeling a bit better with the light on. Chuckling nervously, you straighten and nod, running your hand through your hair.

"O-of course you were. What else would you be doing?" you try to swallow the sudden rise of bile in your throat as you rub your arms violently to ease the chill your memories have brought you.

Yeah.

What else indeed.

Confused, but choosing to leave matters out of his hand alone, Yoongi returns to his task and rummages through the clothes dangling on the coat rack. Once he's found his prize, he turns to you and throws it towards you. Your eyes widening, you hardly catch it before he's already heading out of the door.

"Shirt." He explains bluntly, and you nod, a bit surprised that he used English. You smile inwardly at the sentiment, however. The small taste of home certainly helped you to regain your composure. You give a weak smile and tighten your grip around the shirt, hoping that it would be a better outlet to release the emotions bottled inside.

"Thank you." You murmur, and he nods before turning to leave.

He almost makes it out the door, but when he remembers something, he turns back to you.

"Do you know the way back?"

"Back...?" you mutter, a bit confused, and he rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to smile.

Looks like she's back to normal.

"To the dressing room, you're supposed to help us with the photo shoot today." Your eyes widen at his explanation, and you faintly remember your soiled schedule. Cursing under your breath, you wish you had at least taken a picture of the thing before heading to perform your duties. Maybe then you'd have a backup.

Well, guess that's a good thing to remember next time.

Realizing Yoongi is still waiting for a reply, you snap out of your reverie and smile.

"Oh, yes. I think I can manage." He nods before turning around and finally leaving you alone, the door closing with a few words of encouragement.

"Hurry up."

With that, the door is shut firmly behind him and you let out a small breath.

Well, no need to be so cold.

But then again, it was kind of him to offer you a shirt and not to pry when you had that slight panic attack. If you can even call it that. Sighing, you turn to the mirror and place your hands on the desk, staring deep into your hollow eyes.

It wasn't always this way.

There was a time when these eyes sparkled with life. When they were filled with joy and happiness, not a care in the world. Where you could smile without a weight on your heart dragging you down. Where you could live without feeling guilty of it.

Why do you feel guilty?

He deserved what he got.

He deserved to die for what he did to you.

“But still...he was my father.”

Biting your bottom lip, you hardly notice it as your teeth pierce through your skin and blood begins to trickle down your chin. Only when the taste of iron on your tongue pierces through do you realize. Flinching, you shakily wipe the blood away and lick your bottom lip as though that will erase the pain bound tightly to your heart.

No, nothing can erase this.

I don't think anything ever will.

Swallowing hard, you choose to forget that which is best not to be pondered over. Turning the shirt Yoongi found for you, you slowly unbutton your own, pulling it out of the plaid skirt you've garnered today. You're thankful Yoongi has managed to find you a similar shirt to the one you brought in today. A white button-up that reminds you of the 19th century. Something a high-class man would wear to a gala per se. You smirk at the ruffles at the end of your sleeves and try to avoid your reflection in the mirror as you pull it on over your bra.

The only thing you would see would be another daily dose of self-deprecation and hatred.

You'd rather stop before it started.

Once the shirt is buttoned and tucked safely in your skirt, a few small touches added by you in order to fit your look, you look at your reflection and smile faintly. For a man's shirt, it fits your frame quite snugly. You wonder who exactly it belongs to, but figure you could just ask Yoongi later.

This should do nicely.

Smiling weakly in satisfaction, you turn to the door and open it.

You weren't expecting to see a very fatigued Yoongi leaning against the wall right next to the entrance. So you'd say your reaction was justified.

He would probably think otherwise.

At your shriek, he jumps halfway out of the air before turning to you in surprise.

"What the hell was that?!" He cries, and your eyes widen in ignorance.

"Me?! What about you? I thought you were going back to the dressing room!"

"Well, I--" he breaks off, finding nothing to say, and you raise an eyebrow in confusion. Swallowing hard, he turns his face away from you. "You were taking too long."

Rolling your eyes, you scoff.

Sorry, but I didn't think I was on a time clock.

"Besides, I didn't trust you to get there on your own." He explains, turning back to you with a scowl. You narrow your eyes at him yourself before noticing the slight rosy hue to his cheeks.

Is he...embarrassed?

Clearing his throat, he shakes his head before brushing past you and heading back the way you came.

"Let's go."

You stand there in stunned silence before turning to his retreating figure. Smirking a bit to yourself, you scoff in disbelief before jogging to catch up to him. You want to thank him for his help, but as the two of you head back, you find it hard to start a conversation with him.

Biting the inside of your cheek you turn to him, trying to study his expression.

He definitely has some sort of hidden animosity towards you even though the two of you have never met before now. However, he doesn't seem to hate you. He's been kind to you so far. In his own...weird way. But if he doesn't hate you then what's the reason for his behavior? Sometimes he seems perfectly fine, and then others he seems to be incredibly angry by your presence.

Then again...your presence is sort of foreign to him.

Maybe he just needs time warming up?

"She's hardly qualified."

Or maybe...

He knows you don't belong here.

"Do you need something?"

Jolting back to reality, you blink and find Yoongi to be regarding you with a perplexed gaze. Quickly, you snatch your eyes away and laugh nervously. You hadn't realized you were gawking at him this whole time.

"No, it's nothing..."

His expression changes as soon as you look away, darkens into something nearly unrecognizable. Turning away, he swallows hard, as though holding himself back. You, however, find this as a perfect outlet to start a conversation.

"I was just...wondering...W-why are you doing the shoot here?"

He shrugs, trying to avoid your gaze as much as possible.

"It's more convenient this way. Does the shirt fit?"

"Hm? Oh! Uhm, yes it does. Thank you."

He nods in response.

"Good, that was Enhypen's dressing room. They hardly use it other than the times they visit our company for shoots and such. Sunoo has a smaller build than most in our company so I thought it'd work best for you." He examines the shirt on you, and you can't help but blush, half wondering if you should cover-up. "Hm. It's tight in some areas but definitely better than wearing something like Jimin's."

You blush profusely at the comment and cross your arms around your chest. You have half a mind to smack him right then and there, but as a group of employees pass by you, you're forced to hold back. He smirks in satisfaction at your reaction, and you scowl.

"I see...thank you." You mutter between gritted teeth. He doesn't respond, just continues to smile that smug smile. Turning the corner, you find yourself in another realm of silence, but this time you don't really have the urge to talk to him.

He on the other hand...

"Has BangPD talked to you yet?"

Your ears perk at that and you turn to him, shocked.

How did he...

"I'm sorry?"

"About being a trainee." He replies with that debonair air about him. Swallowing hard, it takes you a while to respond.

“How did you know?” He gives a look at the ambiguous answer, but you meet it as an equally indignant one. You feel as though you have a right to know, and you won’t answer him so easily about something you weren’t aware he even knew about. Sighing when it’s clear you won’t give in as easily as he thought, he answers you.

“BangPD met with us to discuss your training.”

“‘Us?’ You mean...”

“Yes, BTS. He said as shareholders of the company, it was only right for us to know he was considering training you. He wanted our opinion.”

In short, they were deciding your life before you even had a chance to decide.

You don’t know why, but the thought puts a sick feeling in your stomach. The fact that a group of people were discussing whether or not to trust you, to accept you without even half of them getting a chance to know you or your abilities...Who gave them the right to decide that? Who gave them the right to take control of your future?

And what if you say yes? Do they even want you to succeed? What if they do? What if saying no let down their expectations? Why weren’t you told about this? Why weren’t you a part of the conversation?

Was it really too much of a risk?

"So?" He prompts before pausing in front of an elevator door and pressing the up button to the dressing room. "What did you say?"

You give him a look, hoping that will let him know that you don't want to talk about this anymore, but he doesn't seem to care. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly and you find that even if you wanted to, you wouldn't know what to say.

Does he think that this is an easy decision? There are things to consider, your future to think about, people who could be affected...

But really, what is there to consider?

You don't have anything to lose, not really.

And this is your dream.

So why are you hesitating?

You know why.

At the soft ding of the elevator arriving, you break eye contact and turn as the doors open. Stepping inside, you watch the doors slide shut before answering him.

"He told me to think about it."

Yoongi scoffs at the answer, biting the inside of his cheek in annoyance. He knew it'd be like this.

"What's there to think about?" At the question, you flinch but refuse to meet his eyes. "It's a yes or no question."

You bite your lip furiously, at war with yourself.

It's not like he's wrong but...

Yoongi glances at her from the corner of his eye and wonders what exactly everyone sees in her. He wonders what makes her so special. From what he's seen, she's incredibly ordinary. Sure she has a beautiful voice, her face is nice, but she can stand to lose a few pounds especially if she wants to be an idol.

Does she even want to be a performer?

There are so many others who have tried their whole life just to be considered for what they're offering here, and what?

It's too hard of a decision?

Animosity growing like a drug, he scoffs turning away.

"I was against it, you know." You turn to him, a bit confused at the statement. He sighs before continuing, a bit piqued at your behavior. "Your contract. I didn't want you to be considered as a trainee."

You should feel surprised. You should feel wronged, angry. But you feel none of those things. Instead, you understand him.

Smiling a bit bitterly, you turn back to the metal doors.

"I see." You reply, and he turns to you in confusion.

"You're not mad?" You shrug before turning to him.

"Why would I be?" He scoffs at the reply.

"Most would feel offended."

"Well, I'm not. In fact, I'm grateful."

Surprised, he turns to you. "Why?"

"At least you didn't lie or cover it up." You explain matter of factly and he shakes his head at you in disbelief as the elevator dings, announcing your arrival.

"It would've been better if I had." He mutters half to himself as the two of you depart, bowing politely to a few employees waiting to board the elevator. You shrug at the statement before glancing his way.

"Well, maybe I don't like people who beat around the bush."

He can't help but feel a bit stunned as he watches you walk a few steps ahead of him. He can't help but feel that he'll always be a few steps behind you. Shaking the feeling away, he peers your way.

"Are you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Debuting."

You swallow hard, not sure how to answer. Biting your bottom lip in concentration you consider the question.

Are you scared to debut?

"Yes."

Who wouldn't be after all? It's scary not knowing if the public will view you positively or immediately cast you aside. It's scary not knowing whether or not your dream will be achieved, whether or not you'll make it.

"Is that why you're hesitating?"

Spying the dressing room a few feet away, you shake your head at his question before replying.

"No."

You can deal with that fear...but what you're even more afraid of is betrayal.

Like what happened last time.

Yoongi stares at you for a moment and watches as you get that faraway look in your eye, the same look that tells him you're not really here. When the two of you reach the dressing room once again, he can't help but pause a few feet away from you. He has the sudden urge just to look at you, maybe then he'd be able to understand.

"You're not what I thought you were." He mutters, not sure if you can hear him, but at your smile, he knows you never stopped listening. You smile at him over your shoulder.

"I guess I don't like beating around the bush either."

𝔞/𝔫: i feel like this offers a lot of background to yen's past...which may be revealed soon

chapter 31 here

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