#it doesn't mean as much as I'd like it to because I literally just woke up

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 Betrayed, I still miss him though.. ´ˎ˗

Luke Castellan x fem!Reader Word count: 2161 Synopsis: After Lukes betrayal, all reader wanted was to hear what Luke had to say. Then she got an interesting dream... Taking place right after 'The lightning thief'.

I miss him.

He isn't physically dead. Just the version of him everyone knew, more specifically, the version I grew to love. It's been months, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days to be exact since he left. Since Luke Castellan betrayed us and turned to Kronos.

Its Saturday, and just like most other days, I've been stuck in bed sulking, no longer crying, just moping. The day he abandoned me and the rest of camp is a day I can replay on loop. Its still a painful memory, still a fresh wound, still something I'd rather not think about. I never want to leave my cabin, I'm stuck in this bed, stuck in this state of desperation that I'm gonna wake up and this whole thing was a crazy dream one of the gods thought it be hilarious to give me and fuck with my mind because they for some reason love to do that, but I know deep down that's not the case, and I know that the chance of me seeing him again are slim to none.

Time passed and I'm leaving the dining pavilion and walking back to my bunk to just sleep and ignore the world, ignore all the whispers of campers, all of the, 'wasn't she Luke's girlfriend?' 'When was the last time she ran a brush through her hair?' 'Oh my god, she looks terrible.' It's annoying, I can still hear you, you know? Just because the guy I thought was my soulmate and love of my life betrayed me and this whole camp doesn't mean I lost my hearing. Just my motivation to take care of myself, he was the one I got ready for, he was my first thought of when I woke up, and the one I thought of when getting ready and got excited to see everyday. Now he was gone, and so was my motivation for anything.

No one, could replace my Luke Castellan, but my Luke Castellan was gone. Now he's just Luke Castellan.

Sleeping was the only place I could escape my problems, now at least. Right after he left he plagued my dreams, whether I was awake, or asleep, he was there. Though the dreams died down, one would sneak through every now and then. This man was everywhere, I could never escape him. I can't remember a time before him, just a during and after him, and I wish I could go back in time to when we were perfect, to before he stole the master bolt, maybe I could've convinced him not too. Maybe I could've made sure there wasn't an after us.

When he first arrived at camp, Chiron asked me to show him around camp. Of course I happily obliged, why would I turn down the opportunity to spend time and get to know and cute guy with dark curly hair and big brown eyes? I wish I could relive that day, those years in fact.

Luke Castellan was my first everything. He was my first kiss, my first love, my first boyfriend. He was the first guy whom I truly shared myself with, both physically and mentally. He knew me inside and out, literally. He saw me at my highest and my lowest and still told me and made me feel loved, but had that also all been a lie? He was a head Hermes counselor, beloved by all of a camp, best swordsman around, an older brother to the younger campers, a first crush to some of the younger girls, and a best friend to those around him. Those were all lies. But were those nights also all lies? Those nights we had become one and told each other how much we loved one another. Those nights I gave myself in a way I hadn't to anyone, and ways I didn't want to give myself to another man. Was he just using me? Was I just part of his act to trick everyone? He made me feel emotions I'd ever feel toward another man. Love, hate, lust.

What I would do to have one more night with him. And finally talk to him about that night. Luke left before I got the chance to hear about his dishonesty. Luke deceived me until the last second, and I never got an explanation from him. Sure I got one from Percy, Annabeth, and Chiron as well. But never from Luke, That night I was watching the fireworks, oblivious to the double-crossing happening in a deeper portion of the woods just behind me.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Flash forward back to tonight. I was in another dream, but not just any dream. This was different than my other dreams. It was more than just a dream, I was truly here, like I was just plopped into a new reality, like a dreamscape. I was sitting on half-blood hill, next to Thalia's tree. Looking around everything was slightly static. As I looked over camp there was a bright light coming from behind me making me turn around. I saw a tall door right outside the border of the camp, peaking my interest. After staring at the door for a few moments, you finally walked up, grabbing the knob and waiting for a moment before finally opening the door.

When I walked in, it was like I was transported into a new world, but it wasn't a 'new world.' Through the door, it was a spacious office. A nice mahogany desk at one end of the room looking out onto two leather couches that were facing each other with a coffee table between them all laid out over nice hardwood floors and surrounded by bookshelves. I walked in slowly, not knowing what I was getting myself into when the door disappeared behind me. Slight panic and confusion ran through my bones. How does an entire door just disappear? I turned away and walked toward the desk to look around when suddenly I heard a door open behind me that I, somehow, didn't notice. When I turned around I locked eyes with the last person I ever expected to again.

"Y/N.."

"Luke..."

Silence is all that followed for a few moments. I didn't dare take a step as I turned my body to fully face him. He slowly took a few steps forward, towards me, and we were now standing just arms length from each other. God how I just want to jump into his arms, but I know I can't, so I just stick to not moving.

"How did you get here?" Luke questioned you, still staring at you as starstruck as he used to. It used to make you melt and get weak in the knees when he looked at you like this, now you don't know what to think.

"I, um, don't really know" I started stammering over my words like a loser "I fell asleep and suddenly I was on half-blood hill with this huge door.." I trailed off when I noticed Luke was now standing so close I could feel his breathe. I looked up and he still had that look of awe in his eyes. I probably had that same look in mine. How could I not, I was staring at Luke. Seconds passed and we were just standing there staring in others eyes, now with the tips of our noses touching. These seconds felt like hours when suddenly we were grabbing each others faces and slamming our lips together. I've missed him so much, and I don't care who knows how much I've missed him. I love him and missed the familiar and safe feeling of his lips on mine.

We stood there a moment with lips locked, our hands grabbing each others faces pulling us so close we might fuse together. He then slowly but firmly moved his hands down my body and gripped my waist. That's when I was wrapping my arms as far as possible around his neck pulling him further into me, if that was even possible at that point. I craved this feeling. If there was a word stronger then craved, that was the word. I was obsessed with him and I wanted to crawl in his clothes and live with him forever, but I can't and shouldn't. This was wrong, so wrong, and I really needed to stop but I couldn't, we continued to kiss passionately before a tear was sliding down my cheek. Then followed a second, and before a third one threatened to slip out, Luke pulled away and looked at me with concern. That look of care alone wanted to make me pull him right back in but I didn't, to be fair that would've looked kind of pathetic.

"What's wrong, what's with the tears baby?" The nickname alone made me want to scream. Scream that he was the problem. And scream that he was the only solution, and scream even more that the solution to my problem was forever unobtainable without stabbing everyone in my life in the back and abandoning everyone.

"Why'd you have to do it? Lie to everyone, to me. Was anything even real?" I tried holding back tears, but there were threatening to spill out, and I slowly let them. He grabbed my chin in his hand and wiped my tears with his thumbs.

"You know why. The gods, they don't care about us. They just keep having mortals fall in love with them, messing them up, and leaving there kids to fend for themselves. Think of how many kids that barely survive middle school because of selfish choices the gods made. I didn't start this meaning to lie and hurt more people than just gods, especially not you. Gods, if there was one person I didn't want to hurt, it was you. Honestly. You asked me if it was real, and I'm saying that this, you, are the realest thing in my life. I wouldn't have traded the last few years in my life for anything. They're my favorite memories that I replay every night trying not to miss you more than I already do, but I can't. When your not around its like, a chunk of me is missing. I need you like I need my air, I hate it that I can't have you the way I used too. I know I made a choice that you can't stand with, and you probably hate me-"

I couldn't listen anymore. All I wanted was an explanation but now that I got one I don't know what to think. What he did was wrong, but I just want one last moment with him. I pulled him close one last time sealing our lips together. Back in the same position as before, except now both of our faces had slight tear stains on them. Before I knew it, we were walking toward one of the couches without releasing our lips from each other. We slid down the couch, he sat upward and planted me firm on his lap with my legs straddling him. We continued to make out as he was moving my hips backing forth on his lap. That's when the air and room around us began to slightly static a little more than it was a moment ago. Luke pulled away, leaving me feeling a little empty without his face on mine.

"Y/N, the dreamscape, its about to close.." Luke began,

"What does that mean?" It can't be ending yet, please I haven't had enough time.

"It means we're about to wake up, and we might not see each for awhile.. I'm sorry" Luke apologized, he stared into my eyes for a split second before reaching into his pocket to grab something. "Here."

There it was, his camp necklace with all five beads on them. I slowly picked up and held them close, like they might be the last thing I'll ever get from him. "Thank you, Luke"

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you more, Luke-"

I shot up in your bed, drenched in sweat. I looked around my cabin, seeing everyone sound asleep in their bunks. Then I noticed something sitting in my hand, had it really been real? I looked down and of course, there it was. Luke's necklace. A lonesome tear slid down my face as I stared at it, but it wasn't out of sadness, I was smiling. I felt better knowing I finally got to talk to him, knowing I finally got what I wanted from him, and now have a little keepsake from him. I know I'm supposed to hate him, but I can't. In the meantime, I'll start healing and starting over, but never will I hate Luke castellan nor forget him. I'll keep the beaded necklace in my pocket for now, I don't know how to explain how I got it, or what I did to get it.

..............................................................................................................................

I've never written anything before, so lemme know gang

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke pjo #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan x you #luke castellan angst

[thegainingdesk]

I've been hovering between 36" and 38" trousers for a little while. I've noticed this past week that my trousers were getting uncomfortable every time I wore them, but for the life of me I couldn't find any of my 38s. A couple of pairs were definitely in the wash, but I knew for a fact there's at least one clean pair somewhere. Whatever, they're pinching but I'll live in these 36s for a while and just be glad that I've officially, unequivocally made the transition up a size.

I actually bothered checking the label today. These are my 38s. My 36s won't just be "pinching", they're completely out of the question. And I don't want to say "I wear 40" waist trousers" if I've not actually tried them on, but... I mean, I'd better buy a couple of pairs, right? Should I pick up a pair of 42s? For that inevitable moment?

There's something so utterly visceral about outgrowing clothes. The increasing tightness against your growing body, contrasting with the blessed relief, the comfortable looseness once you size-up - and knowing, knowing, that soon you'll fill up all that extra space too, that soon these clothes will be the ones that are too tight, too restricting, too small, ready for the process to repeat.

Maybe, to some extent it's because it's so much easier to compare clothing sizes - weights are tricky. I see someone the same weight as me and I think how much bigger they look, or how my gut is rounder, or my thighs are softer, or their moobs bigger . Clothes sizes are official - we wear the same size, we fill the same volume. You're still in 36s? Ah, shame, I've just bought a pair of 40s.

Over the summer I went on a short holiday with friends. At one point, me and one of my closest friends were just lounging about on the sofa in our pyjamas, half-asleep, Wimbledon on in the background while everyone was out. We both sort-of woke up at about the same point, and he made a little comment about my shirt riding up. I tried to tug my shirt down and he just laughed because clearly it wasn't working. Now, this friend is straight, but we're close, he's made some jokes about my weight gain, he's at least semi-aware that I at least don't mind the added weight (a story for a different time), so he doesn't particularly mind my gut sticking out a touch, but he says I should probably put on something a bit more covering before everyone else is back.

And as I'm changing I realise that I was wearing a large t-shirt. Now, at the time I was sort of between L and XL - both worked, I could tell L's were getting a little restrictive, and I had a desired trajectory towards adding some X's, so my wardrobe was a bit of a mix of the two, but up until that point, large shirts had definitely fit. All of a sudden, they're not just a little tight, or I can feel the difference or whatever, they're indecently small - literally, someone had just told me to change to make myself decent. And that's a large; it's in the name, right? It's not huge but it's large. Larger than average. Larger than most people.

And this friend is a lot smaller than me - he wears small and medium shirts. All of a sudden I'm realising that this shirt, the shirt I'd just outgrown, that I'll never fit into again, would be way too big for him. I'm not just bigger than him, I'm bigger than people who are bigger than him. If he asks me to borrow a shirt, I have to apologise for how my old, too-tight shirt from the back of my wardrobe will be too big for him, but it'll work in a pinch. I ask him if I can borrow a shirt and I'll burst out of it like a scene from one of my stories.

Better buy some 2XL's ready for the next time he has to make a comment like that. Some 42s as well. Hopefully I'll be in them before Wimbledon rolls round again.

#weight gain #personal ramblings #personal #not a story #gaining

[taboo-delusion]

So, I just discovered something interesting.

This is a bit of a long one, so bear with me. It's important. Seriously.

I just woke up a few hours ago. My meds are starting to kick in. I was having a very serious and genuine, deep conversation (in-head) and it was... beautiful. It wasn't happy, but it was beautiful. Not the point.

Point is:

I had not had a single fucking intrusive thought today until someone made a noise in the other room.

I am so fucking PISSED OFF

Why my brain refuses to realize that intrusive thoughts CAUSED the good feeling to go away, I have no fucking idea. I've known that for almost a year now, yet my stupid fucking subconscious refuses to change anything it's doing

Before I snap my fucking android phone in half and yeet somebody's face into neptune, I thought I'd share the discovery!!!!

Basically:

MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DID NOT START UNTIL SOMETHING STARTLED ME OUT OF FOCUS

AS I TYPE THIS, I REALIZE THAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS -AT LEAST FOR ADHDERS- ARE A SURVIVAL TACTIC.

Elaborating:

When you fall asleep and your heart slows too much, your body does the falling thing to make sure you're still alive.

It's not that intrusive thoughts are *Just* because your brain gets too quiet, It's because your life has never been completely quite before, or -like me- the few times it is quiet, something interrupts. And even if it doesn't piss you off, even if you don't jump like I do, your brain still registers it as not safe.

--

Falling asleep, heart slows a lot-

Body: *Sends adrenaline just to make sure it still actually works.*

Drowning, even mostly unconscious-

Body and brain: *Hold onto that last half-breath even if it feels like you're head is going to explode.*

Going grocery shopping or talking to someone you think is cool-

Brain: *Remembers what it felt like the first time your guardian was indifferent or mean about something that made you happy or calm.*

Things around you actually get quiet-

Brain *Sends a thought you hate just to make sure you're prepared for a sudden problem.*

TDLR 1: Your brain isn't mean on purpose, It's just paranoid and still has a will to live.

Listen. I know I'm just some random dude from a weird blog. But I'm trying to translate, to assist. Maybe somebody else needs this realization as much as I do. I apologize for the yelling earlier. I'm still just as upset, but only at my dumbass subconscious. Now some time has passed, and I have regained self-control.

(I also apologize for the above paragraph, my brain nags for me to do this, but I can't remember why. So:)

I am no psychologist. Here are my qualifications (why you should listen to me):

As my friends call it- "Disturbingly self-aware at all times."

Paranoid Schizophrenic with actual (unrelated) OCD, with years of experience dealing with it- more healthily in recent years.

Philosophy and deep thinking is simply my default. I use metaphors, but everything in this post is entirely literal, ...except the angry threat. (*begrudgingly accepts disappointment*)

I am a fiction writer. I don't know about healing people/first aid, but I know a LOT about how anatomy works, with many deep-dives on the psychology/evolution side.

People irl generally consider me a genius? Idk how to gauge that, IQ tests are irrelevant with this type of... smart?. I've been compared to both Da Vinci and Einstein. So, ...actually that's pretty fuckin' cool- (I AM NOT TRYING TO BRAG! I APOLOGIZE IF IT COMES OFF THAT WAY! I've never put it all down like this, and I'm just surprised and questioning my reputation.)

(Also, I love playing detective, so naturally I call myself Batman XD.)

Autistic; I experience the world, and every situation, from a view without any context.

ADHD: My brain automatically -As a guardian I hate describes- "Can watch three different movies at the same time, all in fast forward, and can keep up with all of them." ... Well, yes, but technically no. Idk if other ADHD people do this, but my brain "connects the dots" so quickly, I end up laughing at jokes I've never heard before the 'punchline', because I've already figured out what you're going to say next.

Now combine all that. I am kicking depression's ass and now I want to help you do the same.

I have only mentioned the relevant things. Please keep in mind that ALL of these have both advantages and disasters. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am running on four hours of sleep. For the love of whatever, I hope this actually helps someone other than me.

Qualifications are noted because: This is all stuff (and stuff like this) that I am just always casually aware of.

TLDR2: Even if I wasn't trying to help people feel better, Apparently I was born with a nat 20 perception/insight check, so please don't argue that I truly understand what I'm talking about here.

#this is serious #serious #intrusive thoughts #adhd intrusive thoughts #especially adhd #psychology #psychological analogy #human instinct #evolutionary psychology #survival instinct #fighting depression #original content #adhd #it can be done #it can be fixed #mental health #mental illness #mental issues #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #and still going #so i'll help where i can #and you can't stop me #hope #how to get better #get better #getting better #you're not alone #you're gonna be okay

[eatabubble]

Something new

Robin x fem!reader

Summary: it's the first day of y/n and Robin becoming official and Robin struggles to show his affection but it all works out :)

Their ages are like 14-15 bc yk first relationships type thing lol also I think ooc robin

I tried adding some Spanish but hopefully I didn't make it cringe so like reader does say like 4 Spanish words and robin says like 3 (translation at the end)

Word count- 872

Robin woke up early this morning, well he really only got like 2 hours of sleep he was way too giddy and unsure of how to act- though he'd never admit it all night about his new relationship with y/n all he could think about that night was how he should approach her the next morning now that they're dating should he hug her maybe kiss her or would he make her uncomfortable, perhaps he should just sneak his hand in hers but what if it catches her off guard and scares her. Nevermind he thought he'll just greet her like he always has with a simple hi.

-----

Never has robin taken the school bus he'd rather walk to school late than to be squished by sweaty idiots who couldn't shut their mouths for a single second but today would be an exception he wanted be early so that way he wouldn't show up after you and make a move he was hoping you'd do it first.

So here he was on the bus all the way in the back where no one would bother him, literally, there was 3 empty seats around him and he was sitting alone while everyone one talked and looked back at him most likely talking about him but he didn't care not unless someone started talking crap then maybe he would but the bus ride actually went better than he expected.

As he made his way down he was a bit disappointed, there you were, of course you wouldn't show up after him, but he wasn't ready to make a move not even as much as hold your hand so he quickly remembered the second door around the school he could enter from and that's what he did. He showed up to all his morning classes as normal since none of them had you but as lunch rolled in he debated whether or not to show up.

----

To say you were confused was a bit of an understatement, first you swear you saw robin climb down the bus stairs but as you went to look again he was gone than all your friends said they saw him in math a class they all shared for 3rd period without you but he wasn't in the halls during passing period you soon came to the conclusion that he was infact avoiding you which was very weird since you started dating officially not even an entire 24 hours yet. You actually thought you'd be more close but perhaps he feels more awkward now, so for you as lunch rolled in you knew you had to check in on robin and see if he was ready for all this relationship stuff because if he's not your more than happy to co-operate and wait until he's ready or if he doesn't want to be with you, well if he even shows up to the cafeteria.

---

You spotted robin fairly quick letting out a sigh of relief, as you made your way to his table you silently hoped your friendship before wouldn't be affected if he told you he wasn't ready.

"Hey" you eneded up saying as you made yourself comfortable in the seat by him, he quickly tensed surprised to see you there.

"oh y/n hey how are you?" He didn't really know what to say, before it was so easy but he knows that he already made it awkward by your small smile. "I'm okay but how are you, if I didn't know any better I'd say you're avoiding me, Robin" as you paused and as robin didn't say anything but just looked at you, you continued "hey, listen I understand if this was all too much too early and I get it if you want to stay just friends until your ready or if you don't want to be with me-" "I- what no." Robin shook his head and raised his voice a bit higher to stop your talking "no that's not it, but yeah sorry for avoiding you but I don't want to break up with you we barely started dating but I know I want to be with you, I just I didn't know what to do I mean this morning I didn't know if I should hug you or kiss you on the cheek or something hell I couldn't even come up with a way to approach you and hold your hand I didn't want either of us to be uncomfortable so I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with that, pero lo siento, alright?" As he finished talking you sincerely looked at him "Oh, Robin eso está todo bien, I just wished you told me we didn't talk all morning because you were worried of making us uncomfortable, that's really cute but relationships work out better if we communicate we could of talked about boundaries and all that jazz" you smiled while looking down at his hand.

As you reached your hand down to grab his you looked up at him "is this okay though?" You showed your guys' hands connected.

"Yeah, it's okay, thank you y/n"

"Can I give you surprise hugs every morning?"

"Only if I can" "for sure"

‐------

Robin: but I'm sorry

Y/n : that's all good

A/n this was originally robin but then I wanted to switch it to finney bc it was sort of ooc robin but I kept him anyway.

#tbp robin x reader #the black phone #relationship #fluff #fanfic #robin tbp #communication #robin arellano #robin arellano x reader #finney blake #vance x reader #pinball vance #finney x reader #bruce yamada x reader

[chocolatestrawberrymilk]

hey hey! could you do tenko miu and kaede general relationship hcs? pls + ty if you do it!!!

aaa hi my first request! I'll try my best! >:)

Kaede

Ok she is literally the sweetest EVER.

If she likes you that only intensifies by 10x.

I don't think she's one that beats around the bush to tell someone her feelings, even if she's not sure you feel the same.

Probably goes up to you one day and just kinda says it! She doesn't see the point in pining when you two could be even happier even sooner!

If you say yes, she'll play one of her pieces for you.

Oh yea that reminds me - she TOTALLY writes music for you on, like, a daily basis.

Can you imagine going with her to her piano room, falling asleep, and then waking up to her softly playing a piece she wrote for you?

"Oh, you're awake! I'm sorry if I woke you up, sweetheart, but there's a piece I'd like to show you that I wrote just for you while you were sleeping - would you like to hear it?"

She'd be the kind to gently show you off, if you know what I mean?

Like, she isn't SUPER in everyone's face about it, but she takes every chance she can get to talk about how cool you are and how lucky it is that you two got together!

She probably doesn't get jealous easily. She knows that you're trustworthy, she's confident that you won't just drop her on the spot if someone even more attractive comes along, and she knows that she's also a pretty nice girlfriend herself!

We love a self-confident queen!

She'd take you to all her piano performances! If you don't like classical music... well, that's either going to change or you're going to be in for quite the ride.

If you told her you didn't like going to them, she'd get a little passive-aggressive for a bit - she loves you and doesn't want to make you do anything you don't want to, but at the same time, she feels a little like you don't care about her as much as she cares about you and that hurts her.

Kaede would also be VERY enthusiastic about anything you've got going on.

Sports? She goes to every game/practice and brings embarrassing signs!

Music? She watches every concert, listens to everything on repeat (even if it's not her favourite genre), and constantly asks to duet!

You get the idea, haha.

10/10, hand in marriage

Tenko

Literally your personal bodyguard.

Even before you two got together, she had a habit of following you around to make sure that you weren't going to get hurt and weren't being touched by any degenerates.

It could even dip into borderline stalking territory at some point.

It's just... she's Very protective, okay?

She just needs to keep you safe!

Even if you don't really need her protection...

If you're strong/into martial arts, you're her new favourite sparring partner!

Somehow both the complete opposite and exactly the same as Kaede when it comes to confessing.

It's obvious to everyone, no matter how dense they are, with how she acts and what she says!

"Here, do you want me to feed you? Because I can! If you-If you want! Ahhh, do you need me to get rid of these males? I... I can also do that!"

If you're a guy, her misandry definitely tones down. As much as Tenko can tone it down, at least. It's definately going to be a lot harder for your relationship to move along, though.

If you're a girl, it's going to be a lot easier for the two of you to get close. She'll be very adamant about keeping you away from keeping you away from her so-called "degenerate males". If you ask her to stop, she'll try her best, but it's going to take some time.

She'd probably end up only confessing on accident, lol.

You know that video where the person goes “I’m going to confess to you on valentines day”? That's probably her.

She'll have this whole script planned out, so it turns out perfect, but then she slips up and says... that.

Once you two officially start dating, she tries to teach you martial arts, so you can defend yourself even when she isn't there. Whether this succeeds or not... is up in the air.

She really likes to feed you for some reason...

Maybe she just likes feeling like she's doing something for you. Or maybe, she feels like you settled, and she wants you to at least feel better about it-

Yeah, she overthinks things a lot, and can be pretty insecure about if you even like her.

Pls comfort her even if she says she doesn't need it <333

Can get pretty jealous for that reason too X)

shes so SKRUNKLY

Miu (suggestive)

She's... a bit of a wreck.

But you knew that already.

She's probably going to be a bit of a tsundere - it'll get better over time but it'll never go away, and I think that's part of her charm!

She likes to hang around you, and likes when you sit with her while she's inventing, whether or not you understand what's going on.

I honestly hc that her main love language is quality time because it reassures her that you actually like her (whether that be platonic or romantic) instead of just liking her appearance or body.

She can have a bit of a hard time talking to you normally sometimes, since I also don't think she's ever had a relationship where the main focus was emotions and the two people actually really liked each other and not just for doing adult stuff.

So these new feelings of attraction are a bit new to her.

Because of this, I think she'd try a couple ways of "flirting" that only succeeded in making everyone uncomfortable.

That's obviously not the best way to go about it, but it's the only way she knows, so you'd have to tell her.

She thinks that you now hate her forever and probably hides from you. If she does see you she runs off, lmao. She's not the bravest girl.

You'd have to be the first one to confess. She would get really defensive at first and would probably take a while to accept it and realized that you liked her for her.

After you did get together, she'd always be making stuff to make your life easier.

"What do you mean 'that's a little unnecessary?' Babe, this gorgeous girl genius just invented THE solution to your daily problem of needing to find the correct amount of milk to put in your cereal, and it only takes up, what, five square feet!"

She might have a hard time defending herself, but she tries her best to defend you.

Is immediately up to throw down the moment she hears someone insult you lol.

Miu's also one of those people who's really academically smart but kind of stupid everywhere else.

So, you might need to help her with little things like cooking or apologizing.

She always makes it up to you, though - with yet another unnecessary invention XD.

Very jealous, and can get openly hostile with the person she thinks is about to sweep you off your feet. She really just loves you a lot, though, and thinks she knows that you can do so much better than her, though she'd never tell anyone that.

Maybe not the best with advice, but I think she could actually be a darn good listener when she wants to. Very good when you just need to vent + cuddle.

My precious little dumpster fire <3333

Sorry if that wasn't good enough/ooc, this was my first ask! Just tell me if you need a rewrite and I'll happily oblige :)

#danganronpa x reader #danganronpa x y/n #danganronpa x you #miu x reader #miu iruma x reader #kaede x reader #kaede akamatsu x reader #tenko x reader #tenko chabashira x reader

[eerna]

so how's fourth wing so far :]

CHECK IN TIME! OK so I am on chapter 22, which is the 51% mark of the book. I continue to be disappointed, but now I have read enough of the book to know I'm not overreacting or judging too early.

Anachronisms continue to run rampant. At one point the MC uses the expression "Are our wires crossed?", which is an explicit reference to telephones, meaning this world has telephones but not pens. This could have easily been a modern fantasy and better for it, there is 0 reason for keeping it a historical setting.

I am on chapter 22 approximately because I actually accidentally fell asleep during Amber's trial and it was so insanely ridiculous I just signed off, and then rewinded to the beginning of the chapter when I woke up. Dain not believing his best freind in the entire world and a bunch of other people because "AMBER LOVES RULES TOO MUCH TO BREAK THEM!!" is one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen.

The characters.... Good lord literally everyone is just an empty shell of a person, someone who serves a certain role in the story and nothing else. It's been a while since I read a book where not a single character gave me anything to work with. That includes bad things I could complain about, or flaws. No one dares step a toe outside the stereotypical roles - wow, here's the Petite Delicate MC With Hidden Power, her Overprotective Childhood Best Friend (well ok he is depicted as bad in this one but more on that later), her Fun Extroverted New Best Friend, the Mysterious Brooding Dark Haired Bad Boy, the Evil Bitch, the Craaaaazy Murderous Competitor....... Like damn give me SOMETHING.

The deaths that people say raise the stakes and feel brutal and realistic are really funny to me because it is Super Obvious who is gonna be next to die. Why are we suddenly focusing on this random background character? Because they are gonna perish next page. Please pretend to be shocked when it happens. Rinse and repeat.

Ngl the "our dragons are mates and that means we are gonna be serving the army together for the rest of their lives also gotta learn how to work together" as a forced proximity method is an absolutely amazing idea. Too bad I feel nothing for this specific combination of characters.

The romance is so immature. It's not even SJM level relationship development. So Violet is in love with her childhood best friend, but then decides she doesn't want to be with him because there is no "spark" when they kiss. Not because he is controlling and belittles her and has no faith in her. Oh no. It's about how she can't even look at Xaden without getting horny!!!! It's about how she hates him as a person but his BODYYY WOWWWW YUMMMMM!!!! PLENTY of sparks!! At one point she describes his cousin and feels the need to specify the two look similar, but she is NOT physically attracted to him, which is just so funny. The book is still painfully straight and treats me to the "Big Burly Muscular Man and his Tiny Dainty Little Woman" shtick.

It's the EPITOME of those "imagine a book where..." tiktoks. Ohhhh the villain is KILLIN PEOPLE to SAVE THE MC even though she thought HE HATED HER..... Oooohhh he has DARK HAIR and ENCOURAGES HER TO BE STRONG....... Ooooooh the MC has bnded to THE STRONGEST DRAGON EVER and also HAS TWO BONDED DRAGONS which has NEVERRR HAPPENED BEFORE...... It feels like a collection of out-of-context quotes meant to be shown as a greenscreen backdrop while the reader pretends to be screaming into their hand in the foreground.

All in all. I am still not enraged angry the way some other books from the book club have made me, but we still haven't reached the smut so there's plenty of time for the nosedive. I'm just reading this and wondering why this specifically was chosen as the next Big Thing. What makes it special??? I see Nothing. Maybe I will find out if I keep going - I don't personally have to like it, but I'd like to figure out why so many other people do.

#eernask #eernanon

[stargazerlily7210]

I just rewatched The Day of the Doctor, and something clicked a bit more than it had before, regarding The Moment. And I honestly can't tell if this was the point all along and I just didn't make the connection because I was too caught up in the references and having Billie back on Doctor Who, or if this is just my new headcanon.

(Obvs, spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the 50th or finished Rose's episodes)

So, what do we know about The Moment?

-It's also called The Galaxy Eater

-It was invented by 'The Ancients of Gallifrey'

-The Time Lords are so scared of the thing that of all of the Forbidden Weapons locked away in the Omega Arsenal, it's the only one they've avoided deploying until now.

-The reason the Time Lords are so scared of it is because, according to legend, it was so powerful of a weapon that it developed a conscience.

-Not that it became conscious. That its AI woke up one day with strong enough moral compass to get angry at them for wanting to use it.

But I think it wasn't thanks to the Time Lords that it developed a conscience. I think it was very literally Rose as the Bad Wolf during Parting of the Ways.

Why?

Well, when we first meet said AI, it's taken the form of Rose as Bad Wolf (duh). Which gets played off as a bit of a timey-wimey joke, claiming it picked that look to appeal to The Doctor and just got the timeline wrong.

But now I'm thinking it's more than that, cause let's be real. If we're dealing with an AI smart enough to design its appearance to appeal to someone's preferences, it can make excuses for the same reason.

It doesn't know or care who Rose Tyler is. But even before it names itself Bad Wolf (which it has a VERY strong reaction to, for a weapon that has nothing to do with Earth or Humans, and wants nothing to do with the Time War or the Daleks) it still shows a propensity for Wolf imagery, telling The Doctor the noise outside was "just a wolf".

It also didn't do a copy of Rose, despite saying it chose "this face AND form" for the Doctor. Which I'd think it would have if it was truly just pulling an image from The Doctor's future memory (Billie having aged 7 yrs since we last saw her aside, because so had David and that clearly wasn't an issue to redesign his look around). Instead it wore its clothes and hair styled in a way that Rose would never have worn.

But it sure does appeal to the same aspects of The Doctor's character that Rose brought out in 'em. And laughs about The Doctor's comment that he could kiss her ("Oh, Bad Wolf Girl! I could kiss you!" "Yup! You will..") despite not knowing for sure who or when Rose Tyler was to The Doctor less than an hour ago.

So I suggest that when Rose absorbed the time vortex and was doing her 'gotta literally reshape matter and reality to protect My Doctor' thing, that included inserting her/Bad Wolf's consciousness into The Moment, way back when.

Like she did when she brought Jack back to life but had no control over how much life she shoved into him. Or how when she scattered the words Bad Wolf across spacetime as a trail of breadcrumbs, she also unknowingly named that beach in the parallel universe's Norway, Bad Wolf Bay.

"I bring life!" Sure did, and then some.

"I take the words. I scatter them across space and time." No kidding.

"The Time War Ends!" I mean, come on. Why would that be any less unintentionally accurate than the rest of her actions?

The Doctor says in Utopia that if a Time Lord had done what Rose did, they'd become a vengeful god. (Side note, when The Master finds out the Doctor had pulled the final trigger, he even says, "You must've been like God!") But he argues Rose's humanity having fueled her actions is what stopped her from succumbing to the same fate. Not that she didn't have the power of a God in that moment.

If I'm right, though. With the reality breaking power that Rose as Bad Wolf definitely had, and that The Moment is suggested to have; I think Rose literally rewrote the end of the Time War by putting her consciousness in The Moment. Fixed points don't matter when you're literally the Time Vortex channeled through a lovestruck teenage brain.

I think that until Rose went all supernova, The Doctor *had* used the Doomsday (hah) Weapon to stop the war. But as Bad Wolf, while she was seeing all realities at all times, she saw a way to "protect [him] from the False God (aka. him)" via inserting herself into said weapon.

It's not that he just didn't remember because crossing timelines. It's that he *had* done it until Rose went glowstick goddess on him.

Final bit of evidence? There's no reason for The Moment's trigger to have looked like that in the end. It doesn't even look like any other piece of Time Lord tech, that I know of.

But we already know that less than a day after Parting of the Ways, Rose will watch The 10th Doctor get really excited about a Big Red Button.

She went the extra mile and made the button shaped like a Rose. It even has petals.

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw #the doctor #rose tyler #bad wolf

[forkaround]

This post is an extension to this post about what can be classified as a BL. I'd rec you read that post first.

I woke up in the morning with this in my notifs and I just....

Anyway, let's break it down:

Does a QL simple mean that the main characters are queer and you go in knowing that?

First of, in my post I say BL is where you know "Boys are kissing boys and girls are kissing girls." If there is no romance (thus the reference to kissing), the show becomes irrelevant to the conversation.

But to answer: What's wrong with that?

That makes literally *anything* centering queer people and queer love a QL

Great! It's QL.

I've seen this pointed out multiple times have these people wondered why they don't want to call something they think is good a QL? What is wrong with the title of QL?

and that imo is somewhat belittling of queer people's existence as in their presence in society as a a given is inherently 'genre'

Yeah, and Pride and Prejudice is a 'straight genre'

If that doesn't make sense, well, that sentence didn't make sense to me. Does making crime shows make the lives of cops and criminals in to a genre??? It's such an absurd statement. Or maybe I'm just sleepy....

this is very different from thinking QL is 'bad'--you'd never call anything with an expected straight romance in it 'romance' by default

Yeah! That's how it works! Romance is romance. Romance is a genre. It's literally the biggest genre there is. There is more romance written, published, made into animation or live action than literally any other genre by a huge margin.

Romance can and is often combined with other genres. Doesn't change that it is a romance.

you'd call it whatever genre it is; when you meet a series of fitting tropes you'd call it a rom-com

What does rom stand for again?

Romance is often used with other genres, from action to horror to contemporary to fantasy to sci-fi.

This I think primarily comes from people not knowing how genres work. It's not a Boolean (as one would say in computer science). It's not a True/False thing where if it's action it can't be romance. If it's romance it can't be political.

As they say: It contains multitides.

shouldn't queer stories be afforded the same discretion?

Moonlight Chicken, Kinnporsche, Old Fashion Cupcake, Bad Buddy, Love in the Air, Not Me, 180 Degrees, GAP the series, HIStory 3: Trapped, About Youth, Mood Indigo, Cherry Magic, I could go on. You don't have to go anywhere else for it. BL already has it all.

So I'll ask again: Why do you feel that 'BL' is a bad word?

Other people have wrote about this with better sources and much deeper understanding so I'll try my best to convey it here:

As I understand the situation, something got lost in translation when yaoi travelled from Japan to the US and people started understanding yaoi to be a 'dirty' genre, that did not depict honest queerness despite it being made up of majorly queer people. It became the genre that was 'for straight women by straight women'. If you look at US the same phenomenon can be observed when people talk, or at least talked, about slash fiction. Mix in some cultural context and yaoi goes from a fun escapist genre to the bane of queer existence genre. Fiction is enjoyed differently in different parts of the world. Nothing wrong with that. Hell, nothing unique or special with that statement either. It's a fact of life. If Shakespeare can't be universal, as many like to claim, we should not expect the same of anything else.

And let's never forget how westerners think their version of queerness is the only real version. I've had personal experience with this and I can say: People need to open their minds and understand that not everything is from their perspective. When I encounter any American thing in a show or book, I simply slide past it because I'm not American. I've never been to America. It doesn't change the story itself, so why bother, what would be the point. If people applied that approach instead of analyzing every detail and expecting it to fit your world view then we would all be happier.

(It turned sappy at the end there. I'm sleepy.)

#Moonlight Chicken #Kinnporsche #Old Fashion Cupcake #Bad Buddy #Love in the Air #Not Me #180 Degrees #GAP the series #HIStory 3: Trapped #About Youth #Mood Indigo #Cherry Magic #manner of death #long post #only friends #wedding plan #laws of attraction

[bnomiko]

Nocturne ramblings, with spoilers

(This is NOT a rant post. Nor specifically a spoiler post. I'm just making observations and babbling shit about some of the characters in Nocturne thus far.)

I did a spoiler-free ramble post, now time for the other side of the coin, just to let loose a bit...

**SPOILERS** ahoy for Castlevania: Nocturne, S1.

Vampires in general

I'm very happy to see some souped up vampires. Let's face it, the majority of them in the original animation weren't exactly impressive. They were basically people with pointy teeth and like 1 special ability. The fact that 2 1/2 humans could walk into a castle and just waste twenty or thirty of them without taking damage (other than Alucard taking a fist to the mug) felt a bit lackluster.

Oh, but there's a LOT of vampires touching sunlight that aren't going up in flames. You can't just hold a parasol over one and expect them not to combust : p

Olrox

I said it before, but seriously, give a raise to whoever did his character design. He's absolutely delicious. Those cheekbones! The dragon's eyes! I want to roll myself in his hair like a bug in a rug then slap those meaty thighs...

I've also watched all his interactions with Mizrak again. I don't understand how the two of them make so much more sense (given that they literally went from "You know my name, tell me yours" to fucking to "I don't love you" to … maybe I do…), than like, canon pairing Richter and Annette, who feel about as compelling as a piece of dry toast.

I truly hope he continues playing a little on both sides of the fence. It makes him so much more interesting than the majority of the characters who are simply on one side or the other.

Juste

I admit I got all excited thinking he was Alucard in a glamour at first, because when you first see his eyes, there's a gold gleam (of course the second he touched the whip I went, "Ahh, it's Juste.")

I'm sure it's more that his eyes appear to be a very light gray and catch any candle/firelight, but I'd rather think that the animators were being cheeky and hiding a reference to the fact that when HoD came out, some fans were convinced Juste was Alucard's son.

Talking about who looks like who's offspring, uh… I almost question if Maxim was doing some sneaking. Doesn't Julia look more like Maxim?? Since they threw out Vampire Killer clause #1, why not throw out the rest of it?

(I mean... really, who would you think was daddy?)

Also… I honestly do feel badly for Juste. He's always been one of the forgotten Belmonts, but maybe he was better off forgotten as I think most headcanons imagined him living a quiet retirement with his wife and their husband, surrounded by a massive stockpile of overly gaudy home furnishings, with little grandson Richter visiting and getting lost in all the furniture : )

Maria

I already made mention of the fact that she's all of 12 in game canon (and apparently 16 in Nocturne), which makes it all the more awkward that her future boyfriend's already made his appearance when she hasn't even hit her teens yet. I mean… how is that going to work?

(Sorry, can't resist reusing this, Richter's reaction is too funny.)

I feel ya, bro.

Tera

I was so young and naive when I read The Scarlet Letter that I didn't actually get what it was about at the time lol… actually took me years to figure it out. And… yeah, that's it. That's my comment.

Emmanuel (the abbot)

This guy will never get the death he actually deserves. It'll probably be something relatively quick, like falling into a pit of lava *shrug*

Drolta

Kind of a shame to off her so soon. Her latex collection was impressive.

Erzsebet

Carmilla?

And of course, Alucard

Okay, I get that he probably just woke up, but maybe a few strokes with a hairbrush before you run out the door, eh buddy?

Compare to Alucard in the mini artbook/manga for SotN (look at those crisp curls!) waking up after his 300 year nap:

I don't mind the "washed out" palette as much as others do. He was pretty much the textbook definition of pale in SotN anyhow.

Actually it would've been really damn funny if he'd showed up in his pajamas, screaming, "I hope I'm not too… wait, what year is it?" *looks at Maria* "Fuck I'm too early!"

#castlevania #castlevania nocturne #nocturne spoilers #maria renard #olrox

[that-was-anticlimactic]

can we just talk about how kenji has one of the Most tragic abilities in bungou stray dogs??? like. the more i think about it, the more heartbreaking it is.

he's fourteen years old and has an ability people would die/kill for. in s3, chuuya called kenji the ada's "trump card", so it's safe to assume the rest of the port mafia thinks the same way. he is immune to literal bullets, to being whacked in the head by hard metal or pretty much anything, he can easily lift cars above his head as if they were nothing,,,

but only if he's hungry.

if you ignore that last bit, kenji has one of the best powers in the show. and like he still does, but my God. he's fourteen years old. he doesn't think his ability is all that impressive. he doesn't see the issues.

since he has a job, he probably doesn't Really eat lunch, and if he does, it's snacks. but also his job is a part of the armed detective agency. therefore, things happen all the time. who knows how long cases will run, who knows when someone will try to destroy yokohama or the agency or whatever. there's been many times when it's been clear that they've had to work into the night. then we have to ask: does kenji eat dinner? no. probably not. and if he does, he probably just eats a piece of fruit or something small. that way, he doesn't lose his ability. he is the agency's trump card, after all. and he knows how important his power is. i mean, that's one of the reasons he joined ranpo and the others when they went against fukuzawa's orders in s3. it's not explicitly stated, but i'd argue that it's implied. anyways. does kenji eat breakfast? well, i don't think so. why? he sleeps when he eats. why sleep so soon after he just woke up? he has to go to work, anyways. so he can't fall asleep.

so, we've basically established that kenji probably has an extremely unhealthy eating schedule due to his ability. but also,,, what about his sleeping schedule? what kind of relationship does he have with sleep? so, let's say he eats a full meal three times a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. let's say how long he sleeps depends on how much he ate... so let's say that a small snack is no sleep since it's barely anything, just maybe makes him a little physically weaker. and a normal meal is at least an hour. that's at least three hours of sporadic sleep during the day - one of them shortly after he wakes up. but you know what makes that even sadder? what if kenji doesn't sleep at night because of his ability. or, sleep consistently or well? we can assume the agency actually really wants kenji to eat, even if he falls asleep, so on days when he can't get away with not really eating, he sleeps during the day for an unspecified amount of time. his sleep schedule would get so thrown off. also, he was raised on a farm, so we can assume he wakes up really early anyways. maybe early enough to say that there isn't any reason to sleep because he would wake up soon normally anyways.

and... what if kenji can't sleep without eating? what if kenji has to eat to sleep? maybe it wasn't that way when he was younger, but the older he got, the more his body grew to rely on his ability's exception. like... that's just... really sad. this kid is fourteen.

and think about it. the agency is best friends because they are. they'd probably like to go out to lunch or dinner together. i bet half the time at least, kenji wouldn't eat. why? because he'd fall asleep. wouldn't want to ruin the fun. because then they'd have to watch their volume around him or try to wake him up (and i hc that it's really hard to wake him up for like... the first ten minutes after a meal at least - it gets easier the longer he's been asleep or the less he eats). and what if they can't wake him up? then someone would have to carry him back and that's so kind of them but, well, they didn't have to and now kenji feels like a liability or a burden. like he ruined all the fun.

and he works with the armed detective agency. they've got a lot of enemies. he is the trump card. the physically strongest on the team. also the most naive and, objectively, the kindest. oh and one of the two youngest. can you imagine how vulnerable he is when he sleeps? i would imagine the agency wouldn't want him to eat by himself in public for, you know, safety reasons. and that even includes the cafe downstairs. who knows what could happen if kenji fell asleep on his own? and that's probably why he went to eat with atsushi in s1 ep11: he was with atsushi so he could eat out. one of those rare chances. and if an enemy did get to him while he was asleep, he'd be pretty easy to keep out of it: just keep forcing him to eat. shove food in his mouth, force him to swallow. and there you are: you have the armed detective agency's trump card. and kenji knows this.

and the sad thing is? kenji probably doesn't even realize he's having problems. he probably thinks this is normal. something he just has to deal with - and i don't say that in a negative or self-loathing kind of way. a genuine "it's always been like this; i know nothing else" kind of way. he wants to help people: that's why he came to the agency. he couldn't handle not being able to help everyone back home. he needs to be useful, to help. he grew up on a farm: he values hard work a lot - that much is obvious. he feels like he can't help if he eats consistently. he's probably (albeit subconsciously, unknowingly) scared of what would happen if he did eat and sleep consistently. that means he's not useful, right? that means someone will get hurt because of him. he'd rather starve than someone else get hurt. he was given this ability, he has to use it to help people.

tldr: kenji's ability is so interesting and underutilized in the the manga/anime and in the fandom and is so overlooked in angst potential. his ability most likely has ruined his eating and sleeping schedule to the point where he doesn't know anything different and genuinely thinks it's healthy because it's what he's always done, it's what he was blessed with, right? kenji deserves more love in canon and by the fandom <3

#hi i had a breakdown over kenji but what's new #bsd #kenji miyazawa #bsd kenji #no but like am i wrong??? kenji has one of the most tragic abilities in bsd!!! like!!! #not only because he probably definitely has an eating disorder but also because it ruins his ability to sleep like #i just. #ahhhhhhhhhhhhh #he is SO overlooked CONSTANTLY and it makes me SO upset. like. gosh he is such an interesting character and this angst isn't like... #blatant because he genuinely has no idea anything is wrong!!! he thinks it's normal! and it prolly takes the agency awhile to realize oh #frick kenji is Not okay this is Not healthy because kenji genuinely thinks it is because it's all he's ever known #and yes i am writing a fic about this and yes it is like 5k words right now and yes it is still going #i have feelings!!! #if no one will care about kenji then i will!!! #that is a threat!!! #but like guys... come on! he's riGHT THERE!!! and it's SO TRAGIC!!! we love tragedy here right? look at kenjiiiiiiiiiii #sorry feelings have i #it actually gets more and more sad the more i think about it #he is. he is FOURTEEN. #anyways imma go work on the fic tehe???

[doobea]

you ask and i deliver... i hope this works because i literally have SO many thoughts on him... like i could talk about him nonstop

i hc sae as a softie actually, like his "uninterested" and "snappy" persona is actually just pouty baby behavior when he's with you (also i think he talks in his sleep like you know there's people who 'wake up' and they're between consciousness and unconsciousness? so like, he listens and talks but his brain doesn't work or register it at all lmao, let me elaborate)

i think sae is the type of guy to find comfort in stability and routine, a relationship with him would be kinda chill... so when there's a slight shift in your actions he gets confused (like i see him lierally tilting his head and slightly furrowing his eyebrows) and don't get me wrong, i don't mean he takes your relationship for granted, but you grabbing an ice cream for yourself without offering him one???? that's weird. so sae just waits patiently for you to come back to the couch and mutter 'did you write ice cream on the grocery list?' (poor baby just assumed that the only reasonable way you're not offering him one is because you're running out of ice cream) so when you hear him and you turn around slowly to look at him dead in the eyes with mischief and see his lips pouting you start to feel bad... how could you hurt his poor soul like that? so you shove your ice cream towards him expecting him to grab it while dramatically clutching your shirt where your heart is 'don't look at me like that! you know i can't handle it'

yeah, you guessed right, sae tilts his head again because he doesn't understand anything you're saying, so you let out a deep sigh and confess

'i woke up today around 3 am to go for a glass of water... and you told me to "dehydrate and perish" in your sleep... only because i kindly asked you to move your heavy legs off me. i had to deny myself a glass of water for your sake...'

at this point sae can only look at you dumbfounded and with slightly rosey cheeks because he's embarassed he's so clingy in his sleep and he doesn't even remember it... long story short he stands up, goes to the fridge, and comes back with an ice cream, giving you the new one he just grabbed and having the one you gave him for himself

AAAAAAHHHHH stop it I love this so much pls tell me more because I TOO can go on and on about how soft he could be too ugh

i saw this somewhere before i can't remember who wrote it but someone said that sae needs to be w someone that brings out his inner child and i cannot agree with it more!! like i'd imagine (and im totally gonna incorporate this in my sae fic series duh) being a child superstar made life so exhausting and almost numbing growing up?? and that secretly he just wants to be a kid again or experience what it was like before stardom (bro literally went to Europe all by himself at 14 like huh???)

i also hc him as being a picky eater like lowkey ... i don't think he like veggies imo ... he'll totally pick off tomatoes and onions and give them to you (and who the fuck doesn't like french fries...)

i wanna say he picks up languages p quickly?? like if his s/o is from a diff background he won't have that much of a problem picking up the cultural differences (he totally has duolingo downloaded and does it everyday don't tell me otherwise)

and of course in the beginning of his first serious relationships he's probably super avoidant and shit bc he's never allowed himself to be completely vulnerable so def some misunderstandings in communication styles/arguments but (if he cares abt u to make it serious to begin w) i would imagine extreme princess treatment the next day (or even week).

MORNING WALKS ON THE BEACH AAAAAAHHH does the lil cheesy water splash on you... and then at night time he likes to do lil bonfires by the beach >:3 (with bbq added of course)

okok i think im done ....

#how can i even say that oliver is my fav when all my recent posts have been about sae and rin #im so fake #doobea answers #this is for my sae brainrot #thank u again for your soft hcs about OUR boyfriend #sae itoshi #itoshi sae #blue lock #bllk

[sagau-my-beloved]

I recently started playing mystic messenger and I can't stop laughing when I imagine Venti going just "who's calling you in the middle of the night????what do you mean your another boyfriend?????" And considering it's a game it might just be true- 💀💀💀

Mystic Messenger, I haven't heard that name in 4 years 💀

I loved it so much like 2017-2018, Yoosung was my default route cause he was so cute and mildly Yandere—

Then the V/Ray route came out, and I just couldn't stop playing Ray's route because it was just so sad and he was so unbelievably adorable (and still kinda Yandere, I've got a type apparently)

He still owns my heart tbh, I'll stare out a window and gazed off into the horizon with war flashbacks of how obsessed with him I was, all the fan fiction and fanart—

But my rambling aside, Venti reaction to reader playing literally any otome game, oh boy-

Somewhere between confused and insecure I'd say

If he like actually saw the call, or you woke up specifically to take the call without giving him the context first, he would be immediately hit with a large amount of worry, like heart dropping suddenly feeling nauseous kind of worry

You'd have to explain that, no, this isn't an actual person that you know in real life, it's just a game—

His worry would then be replaced somewhat with confusion, and also more worry, because you have referred to where he came from as a game before too—

Does this mean that it's possible for this person to suddenly show up and claim they deserve your attention??? He will fight them for it and he's not going to lose—

Promise him that it's all completely fictional and none of these people are actually real and it's just done for entertainment purposes

All that might make him feel a little bit better, but there's still going to be a bit of worry there because doesn't he entertained you enough? Are you not getting enough emotional fulfillment out of the relationship you currently have with him, that you have to default to a virtual one?? Do you just like these characters personalities more than his???

(If it gets bad enough, he might actually make a mental note of who your favorite character seems to be and do some research on them)

Either way, he's going to up his affection

You suddenly got a notification? Oh, well too bad, now he's laying on top of you and going on and on about how much he just adores you, didn't you know?

Might disable the alarms you set for 3 am and claim that you must have just slept through them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(It's so weird to think about my current obsession interacting with my past obsession, or that I would ever be writing something Mystic Messenger related again, even indirectly-)

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin x reader #genshin venti #venti x reader #yandere genshin au #yandere genshin x reader #mystic messenger and genshin? #on this blog?? #more likely than you think

[some-pers0n]

ooh unpopular opinion time!

Mindreaders shouldn't have been able to mindread just dragons and scavs. It either should've been dragons only or most animals being able to be mindread by more powerful mindreaders. Seems pretty silly to have scavengers be the one exception, when, like, a lot of animals do still have emotions that can be mindread; they just don't have the same complexity as humans for the most part.

Turtle comes off as far more transfem than transmasc imo. Transfem Turtle is an under-appreciated headcanon in the fandom.

Deathbringer literally treats Glory the same way Undauntable treats Wren. It's just seen as cute and romantic with Deathbringer because Glory likes him back.

Darkstalker is a sympathetic villain and that doesn't make him morally grey in the slightest. You can sympathize with a villain while still acknowledging that they're pretty much pure evil.

Oh, on a related note, AUs where Peacemaker discovers he's Darkstalker aren't actually overrated. There's just a small minority of fans who like to say that it goes against the message of the book, when these AUs are often purposefully about pointing out the flawed messaging. And I have trouble believing Foeslayer would be a good mom to any of her dragonets, especially to the dragonet enchanted to be her "do-over" from the guy who killed her husband.

Luna's tapestry thing never really bothered me. What upset me was seeing the giant jump in character from being extremely ready and willing to fight to essentially being made into a pacifist because they needed to keep to the stereotypes.

Freedom was a bad choice of character plot-wise, but a lot of the people critiquing her just seemed to be picking on that she wasn't the perfect ever apologetic abuse survivor. Of course she's going along with what her abuser says, who's literally trapped her in his mind as a hatchling forever. At the same time, her pretty much suicide wasn't very impactful because... well, we never got time to get attached to her. She was just thrown in at the end to be a big emotional moment, and that's not really how character deaths work.

Yeah I agree with the mindreader bit. I'd love to see more unique and interesting bits with that.

I do love any sort of trans Turtle headcanons. Maybe I'm stupid but I just look at him and go: "he has no gender" and becomes just like me fr. Trans fem Turtle is so cool though,, oh you can do so much with that.

Imma be blunt and say I do like Undauntable and Wren's sort of dynamic, but as platonic. Same goes for Glorybringer. Take out the flirting and replace it with playful banter and make it platonic and you're golden. Glorybringer in its current state? Ehhhh....no thank you...

Precisely that. I love me my villains and objectively terrible characters who I WILL make relatable and hold traits the readers can identity with. Does that make them even remotely morally grey? No! It just means they have more complexity and depth than a piece of paper.

I refuse to believe Foeslayer, or Hope now, could go back to a somewhat normal life with Peacemaker. I've been itching to write a oneshot about that for a while. Also, good stuff with the other things. I just woke up and can't formulate thoughts as well lmao.

The tapestry thing bothers me a little cause it seems like Luna constantly harks back to it at the worst and most distracting bits. Not that much though. I just think it's funny to point at how much she mentions it. But, yeah, her character was pretty rushed.

On the topic of rushed characters...oh my god Freedom....you could've been so much better... But, yeah. People critique her and make her out like she's bad because she's not a perfect abuse victim who's always good. She's not that great of a character cause she doesn't have a natural and smooth arc of becoming redeemed and good. It just kinda suddenly happens. Also just because something made you cry doesn't automatically mean it's good.

#ask #ash

[weightless-feathers]

Theories of Duke's and Kay's powers

After re-watching S1 (again), I've realized some stuff about the abilities of Duke and Kay. Which might explain why Duke is so introverted (and a couple of other things too).

I'd love to hear more thoughts about all of this, so feel free to leave your comments and opinions.

(I'm only taking S1 in consideration, therefore this has spoilers for all S1. Also this might be a bit long; you have been warned.)

DUKE

The way Duke fights and showcases his powers lead me to assume a couple of things:

He is able to, not only control energy, but also recognize and change its properties. This is why he managed to get rid of Selly's G-force Nanobombs, he instructed them to stop working.

He can only do this if the energy is: contained somewhere (the smaller and simpler the container is, the better he can use his abilities), instructed to do something (for example, inside a train the energy has to do certain things, like well, keep them alive), and in direct contact with him.

He is more sensitive than other trains to small changes in the energy around him. Is not just like when, for example, someone sees how much energy other train has left, no, Duke can tell exactly what is going on with them, this is very clear when:

In the middle of the second battle, he was able to tell Kay was reformated, which is weird because in EP3 Selly herself (mechanic and doctor) was unable to guess it just by looking at Kay.

Kay's engine was about to become "strange" before the Other World incident, and he tried to make Kay train with him.

So, where is this going?

I think Duke can literally feel how other trains feel, he's basically an "emotional reader" where, even if he doesn't want to, he can sense the internal state of anyone that's around him. This must be very overwhelming for him, to the point he just doesn't want to be around too much people (also this is why he doesn't show up on the race events as Alf pointed out in EP16, having to interact with some many people must drain him a lot). He sees how others just don´t like him that much, (something that was happening even before the accident), which must be a pain to deal with, especially since he has done nothing to gain such reputation (which he held even before the virus incident). Despite all of that, he still likes to help others, which is honestly very kind of him.

In addition, his base seems to be made to have as less stimulants as possible, no colors, no stuff in general. He already deals with too much changes and feelings, so he needs a quiet and simple place where he can just rest from everything.

Oh and before the incident I'd assume he used his powers for healing reasons, simmilar to what he did in EP29, where he managed to woke up a train by giving him some kind of "electric shock". The virus made him use that ability to damage Kay's engine in a more specifc and dangerous way than any other train could have done, he focused the electric damage in order to burn Kay's engine, or at the very least leave him more exposed to regular attacks.

Though, this power could be the main reason why he survived after the final episode, he managed to wrap the energy around his engine and protect it from over-heating. He must have an insane control over all of his body, which means that he will use the energy in the best way possible, making his engine very efficient, and almost as fast as Kay's.

On the brightside, this means that the trains he actually interacts with (aka Kay and Selly) mean a lot to him. So much so that he can just relax with them, as he knows they care about him and, regardless of how they might feel at the moment, they still respect him as a co-worker and as a friend.

In conclussion, Duke can:

Know how trains around him feel.

Probably guess when someone is lying to him, though he wouldn't have a 100% accuracy.

Heal (and hurt) other trains through energy manipulation.

Control the energy inside himself for efficiency or protection.

KAY

I think that weirdly enough, Duke's and Kay's powers are pretty simmilar, it's just that they're focused on different aspects of the energy. Duke interacts with "living" things, while Kay interacts directlly with the enviroment around him. I'll have to specultae a bit more here since despite everything Kay's properties are more ambigous than Duke's.

From what I can tell, the requirments for Kay to use his abilities are:

The energy needs to be flowing freely, if it's being being used by someone or something (a train, a smaller machine, etc) he won't be able to use it, however this has an excepting which I'll go into later.

He should have his equipment on, otherwise he won't have total control over his powers (this is why he lost control on EP25, rather than enhancing, his equipment seems to lock his whole potential because otherwise he won't be able to use his special capabilities without hurting himself).

Preferibly the energy should be strong and connected to other flows of energy (basically, the more areas that are connected through the tunnels, the more powerful he becomes).

But how does this affect the areas and Kay himself?

First, the fact that he can use and change the properties of abnormal amounts of energy means that he can also change the space (and maybe even time in most extreme cases) he is in, that's why he can open tunnels and connect different areas.

The levels of electric flow of the different zones probably affect his mood and behaviour too. He needs to be in constant movement to maintain his engine functioning correctly, which means that, the more contact he has with different kinds of energy (and areas), the better he feels. He needs adrenaline and stimulants (like training) to be at his best physical and mental capacities. That's why his base is basically a rollercoaster, it just makes the start of his days a little easier.

On a side thought, it appears as if the energy itself seeks for him, he's a pretty much a magnet that can store huges amounts of energy, which would explain how he managed to go back into the rails on EP1 (and EP25) despite being out on outer-space/void.

About him traveling to the Other World on EP25; that's the best example of what happens when he's not in full control of things, Duke was able to tell something was going to happen (due to the things I've mentioned before) and wanted to prevent it, but he didn't thought that Kay would lose control so quickly.

I wonder, if Kay was able to literally rip a whole in space-times and hop to another dimension, what else is he capable of? Are there more trains like him? Is him somehow related to Alpha?

And here comes the exception I talked about a while ago, Kay managed to use Alpha's cargo, or at least the energy inside of him, this was probably because: A. It produced so much energy that it basically became an "area" on it's own, B. For some reason, the cargo allowed Kay to use the energy on it (simmilar to what Duke did when he helped Kay with the Intercontinental Railroad construction).

Conclussions:

Kay not only enjoys adrenaline and training, he needs it to keep his engine (and himself) "healthy".

Kay is more powerful the more energy he has access to (or the more area's energy flows are connected to each other).

Kay can lose control of things unexpectedly.

His engine appears to carry some mystery, and maybe Alpha has something to do with it.

More notes:

All of that was the reason Kay able to hold the energy of all areas and use it in a single attack on EP2, he transformed everything into a huge circuit with him as the "on and off" mecanism.

Before that event, he probably asked Selly and Jeffrey what would happen if he ever did that a movement like that, they probably told him something like -Kay, DON'T EVER DO THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOUR ENGINE IS GONNA GET FRIED! YOU WOULD GET A LOT OF DAMAGE EVEN IF YOU WERE AT YOUR BEST PERFORMANCE.- and then he replied -I'd never ever do that guys, I promise... BUT JUST IN CASE I'M GONNA GIVE IT A COOL NAME!-

And this is were the ability "overdrive" goes into place. I've searched and over-drive has two main meanings, when we talk about machines, is the point of maxium power and/or best use of energy of the engine. If we talk about people, it's the moment where you are left completely exahusted and cannot keep going any longer, basically, you drive yourself to exhaustion. So he literally surpases his engine's regular capacities in order to use all of the areas' electricity, or at least most of it, leaving him too tired to even move after that. That's also why in the second battle Duke apparently drained most of the energy of the available areas, he didn't want to risk Kay doing something simmilar again.

I know I've been hoping through a lot of topics during this analysis, so I want to close it with a more wholesome thought. The kind of bond that Kay and Duke share makes so much more sense to me now, let me explain. Kay is different from the rest because he geniunely needs and enjoys adrenaline and training, that's what his engine demands. Duke needs some distance and a quiet space for him to feel alright, that's just how his powers work.

They understand very well what is like to be pretty different from the average robot-trains, and take time to support eachother as there's no one else than can understand them so well in this specifc aspect of their lifes.

Before the accident, Kay probably tried to do most of the social stuff for Duke (while also giving him), while Duke helped Kay with the most boring and repetitive tasks so Kay didn't get too frustrated.

I like to imagine them having a conversation like this: Kay: "What did I say Duke?"

Duke: "We are not like the average robot-trains..."

Kay: "And?"

Duke: "And... that's okay."

Kay: "AND THAT'S FRICKING AWESOME!"

Duke: "Y-YEAH, yeah?"

Kay: "YES!"

#robot trains #robot trains kay #robot trains duke #robot trains theories #robot trains season 1 #I didn't expect for this to be so long. #Yes #I am aware I'm overnalizing everything #but that's just how my hiperfixations are.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Fun fact about my agender ass I fully believed that gender identity did not exist until I was like fourteen

Like I had not experienced it so I assumed nobody else had. Now I know that gender, the gender binary, gender roles, are all social constructs, but from my understanding, gender identity isn't. Many many people are born with a gender identity in their brain, and sometimes it is the one they are expected to have, and sometimes it isn't, and sometimes it changes over time, and sometimes it develops over time, but most people have some gender identity in some way.

I, as well as some other people, just, don't.

And I had no way of knowing that anyone else experienced this. I really thought it was just a game everyone agreed to play. You get assigned a blue pinny or a yellow pinny in gym class and that's that. It kinda sucks but that's the game. It's not like "blue pinny" is a part of your identity, it's just an arbitrary assignment. You might wish you were on the yellow pinny team, because they get a head start in the dodgeball game, but you don't identify as a yellow pinny team member. And that is exactly how I saw, and still see my own gender.

And I have to apologize for this but this resulted in, when I was young, transphobia. It wasn't the violent kind you often see today, but it was dismissive and distasteful. Obviously I'm not proud of it. But I thought "how the fuck can you identify as a gender aside from your AGAB? Nobody "identifies" as anything you just take the assignment and go so ObViOuSlY it's made up." And I was talking to my sister about this and was like "I mean if you woke up in an alternate universe where you were a man, it would be no issue at all, right? I mean aside from having to get used to different body parts and being treated differently, it would be fine" and she was like "no???? Tf??? I'd be really upset!"

And that right there rocked my fucking shit and turned my world upside down. Anyway I learned a lot since then and I support everyone and their gender identities now, obviously, as it was over a decade ago. I realized that "I guess I'm a girl because I was born that way and I don't care enough to change it, even though I literally hate being perceived as a girl I'd hate being perceived as any other gender just as much" doesn't actually make me cis (shock!!) This is also why I much prefer the term agender to nonbinary. I've been asked if I'm nonbinary when I say I'm agender, and I know some agender people identify as nonbinary (power to you!) But to me, "non-binary" feels like a gender identity that is. Well. Nonbinary lol. It's like asking an atheist "so you have a non-Abrahamic faith?" Like no they don't have any faith at all. I don't have any gender identity at all. That's how I see it anyway.

But all this to say being agender is weird. And while I'm about as allo as they come, I can relate to asexual people in a lot of ways.

It's like there are these boxes and everyone else can see them, and everyone else can exist in them comfortably, and sometimes people have to change the shape of their box but at the end of the day, it'll fit them. But I can't see the boxes, yet I've been put inside one, and everyone else can see it. I don't want to change the shape of my box, it wouldn't make a difference. I just don't want to be in this box at all. I can't see it, I keep bumping into the walls. I'm glad when the boxes make other people happy, but all I want is to get rid of it. And while it's freeing to identify as agender within myself, to start using any pronouns instead of exclusively she/her, I know that everyone else can still see the box. If they didn't see me as a woman, they'd just see me as something else, some other box, and that's not any better.

And I'm so tired.

#gender #vent #agender #transgender #asexual #lgbtq+ #gender vent #gender identity #cw transphobia #cw personal #nonbinary

[tutantmeenageneetleteetle]

Hi there! If it's not too much to ask, could I request how the boys would react if they found out their S/O was captured by Shredder and used as bait to lure the Turtles out? I'd also really love if you could include them saving their S/O and being super protective and comforting over them afterwards. Thank you so so much! <3

Thank you for your request! I was so caught up in writing it I almost forgot to say thank you for your request! Also I had a lot of fun writing this request (well, as much fun as you can have with an angsty request), I felt like I was just really there if you know what I mean...

Leo

You know calm Leo? Yea forget about that, he doesn't exist anymore

He's anxious and so angry at himself for putting you in danger

He feels like he should've watched you better, made sure you were safe

I mean his lifestyle might cost you your life

He doesn't sleep, and won't let the others either

Busy with a rescue plan literally 24/7

His brothers are exhausted and annoyed, but above all they worry about him

Leo gets very focused for important missions and pushes himself too hard, but never like this

After the rescue mission was successful, everyone can finally get some rest

He will make sure you're okay, taken care off and will do anything you want but after that he will request you take a very long, well needed nap with him

When he woke up, he looked around anxiously, making sure you were there and that he didn't accidentally dozed off and saving you would just be a dream

He will feel guilty for a very long time, so you'll have to reassure him that this is the lifestyle you chose for yourself and you knew the risks that would come with it

He will get really bossy over you and demand you'll live in the lair with them for a period of time

But you have to remember, this comes from a place of love, even if it drives you crazy

Raph

Full on breakdown

Usually he's angry, but right now he's just freaked out completely

He will have panick attacks and will be hyperventilating and crying

And that's not very like him to do, especially not in front of people, but he's just broken man

He just feels like everything is falling apart and feels so helpless

And he knows he can't take shredder on his own, he tried

But if it means saving you, he would give up his life

When you've returned to him safely and unharmed, he'd be so relieved

He will cry once more, as a way to release all of the stress from his body, but after that he's pretty good at letting it go

He will be more appreciative of you being around him as he missed you so much and he will let you do whatever you want

It doesn't matter what you do, he just can't be angry at you after almost losing you scared him so much

He will do whatever you ask of him

Donnie

Silent

So silent it's scary

He will not even look anyone in the eyes until absolutely necessary and is in survival mode

He will find out everything he needs to know in order to save you, do it time efficiently and will use everything he kept as his secret wapen or backup plan to save you

He will calculate exactly how little time he can waste on sleep and food and still be capable of putting up a good fight against the shredder and his henchmen

Once you're saved, that's when the emotions come

He will just cry in your arms and keeps promising he won't let it happen again and that he will take care of you

Mikey

He's just so freaked out

He's just not himself, he's quiet, tired, on edge and just lost his whole chill

His brothers usually want mikey to shut up but him being this quiet was unsettling

He clings to Leo because he's the one making the plan and anxiously asks about it every 5 minutes

Drives Leo insane but he also feels really bad for Mikey so he let's it slide

Raph tried to cheer him up but it seems impossible

As long as Mikey knows you're out there, being in danger, he can't smile

He will do anything Leo asks of him, in the hopes they will be able to save you quicker that way

Once the mission is over he will not leave your side

He will touch you day and night for a really long time

He will even go to the toilet with you if you let him

It will take him some time for him to be chill with you going outside, even with him around

#tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt donnie 2012 #tmnt headcanons #tmnt leo 2012 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt 2012 leo #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raph 2012 #tmnt raph #tmnt mikey 2012 #tmnt