#it doesn’t feel like cas

[shallowseeker]

One thing I will always love about The Winchesters is how petulant it is about its romance parallels. It really is knocking you over the head with parallels to Dean’s feelings in particular.

The show is built around the choosing—the running your own race despite your circumstances.

#it’s like robbie thompson is in the background with a chalkboard writing reading comprehension #in all caps #100% a study in media literacy as a companion to spn’s original run #dean is transparent #you have to go out of your way to look away from his feelings honestly #twc rewatch #spnwin rewatch #you have to misrepresent dean and misread him to erase his feelings for cas #he practically wears them on his sleeve #he doesn’t make sense otherwise

[kacievvbbbb]

The thing is that Dean and his abandonment issues wants Castiel to stay, despite the fuck ups and the blame and the anger, he needs him to stay as proof that he’s not toxic that he can have good things and not break them

But Castiel, and his guilt chose to leave because that is his penance. Why does he deserve to be happy when he has caused so much suffering? How can he look at Dean smile at him when he’s fucked up so much? He needs to leave because how could he be around Dean like he isn’t a living monument to all the ways his fuck ups hurt the ones he loves.

Cas wants to help the brothers, so he leaves. He’s caused them so much pain what right does he have to be around them, when he can be out there getting them information, finding things they need, helping fix their problems. This is his penance. Because no matter how hard he rebelled or how far he fell Castiel has an innate, almost primal need to be holy, to be absolved of his mistakes and sins. And he’s made so many mistakes where else can he find penance but in misery?

And in almost every episode Dean is in some way or form asking Castiel if he'll stay this time, and every-time Cas says no. And Dean can be mean, he’s s a deeply angry man, and so every no seems like proof that he’s pushed him to far that this is it this is when Cas says he's had enough. He's not gonna stay and be screamed or laughed at anymore. Dean’s finally succeeded in driving him away as he does anyone that’s ever given a damn about him. That this is proof of how toxic he is; after all Castiel is a creature with wings, all he wants to do is fly, and here Dean is trying to keep him in a cage.

The more Cas leaves on his own, the more Dean feels the need to give him a reason too.

The ways in which we punish ourselves; depriving ourselves of the ways in which we love.

The narrative’s doomed them from the start.

#throwing thoughts to the void #the narrative is not on your side but on the side of the story. #it will always do what is most interesting #Chuck’s not evil he’s just bored. #I swear I was only going to write a sentence then an essay came out #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #dean x castiel #supernatural doesn’t so much have good ideas as it trips and stumbles into the occasional earth shattering concept. #supernatural #spn #deancas #honestly Cas has a lot to feel guilty about isn’t he like atleast half the reason his species is almost extinct? #no wonder the angels hate him I’d hate him too

[jenanigans1207]

All I’m saying is that in the supernatural universe, I firmly believe that the most popular destiel fics are written and posted by one Sam Winchester under a pen name. And he doesn’t even come up with elaborate plots. He just dictates, almost verbatim, interactions he witnesses Cas and Dean having and then just tacks a kiss or a love confession on the end.

And everyone comments about how he just gets their characters, how he builds such convincing sexual and romantic tension, how the characters feel like real people instead of words on a page. Sam is the most popular destiel ao3 author, his fics on every single rec list, and it’s simply because he got tired of watching Dean and Cas pine uselessly for each other so he decided to make it everyone’s problem.

#I just know #that every time destiel has one of their arguments or staring matches and Sam is in the background on his computer #he’s not doing research #or just scrolling the internet to be uninvolved #he is typing out a transcript of what’s happening in front of him #so he can go to his room later and turn it into a fic #he knows both of them so well it doesn’t even feel like a lie to say he knows Dean’s fingers were shaking #or cas could feel his heartbeat in his throat #he felt weird about it once #but now he has an audience to please #and the weight of their unbearable UST is easier to bear with all these other people sharing the burden #destiel #deancas #spn #supernatural #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Castiel

[mattodore]

he ate him up

#spending my time in photoshop making bite marks and blood and nasty hickeys instead of finishing the pose i started making yesterday #these aren't even new pics i just started messing around with random low quality cas pics i had on my laptop 🚶 #anyway 😋 theo sees matthias's skin all exposed and is just like okay now how can i make it clear that he's mine . #when i was talking to nene weeks ago and said yeah theo feels like he has to leave marks everywhere so matthias doesn't forget him #(which is . just so crazy theo he's obsessed with you please . that man is Not normal) and so everyone else stays away from him bc 😋 #points to jealous sea and lemon eyes from the Official Mattodore™ Playlists <3 #but with matthias he doesn’t feel the need to do that bc he knows he's already [redacted] theo [redacted] [redacted] 😁 #so crazy............... matthias you are just. ... . but he fr only bites when he can't help himself that's eet #river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #a burning house to live in #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #......also that bottom row of teeth marks should be curved more but i'll be honest idc to fix it jnkgkj #but anyway....... i will actually get back to blender now

[annmariethrush]

there is some parallel universe where Destiel went canon in Season 6 and the show just… didn’t change. Dean and Cas just happened to be dating. They don’t stand any closer together. Sam still has to intervene when they fight. They don’t ever talk about it. Dean still flirts with every woman that breathes until after the widower arc. It’s just. It’s the same show.

#the first few times Cas dies/disappears Dean is miserable but sleeps around to try and not think about it #Sam doesn’t even tease them about it #it’s unclear if he’s noticed #they just say shit like “oh during our movie night’’ #Dean feels jealous of how loyal Cas is to Kelly #and blames Jack for Cas’s death #but ultimately loves him like a son #like THEIR son #it’s literally the same show #and despair is still the first time Cas says I love you #but it’s not a huge deal because they’ve been saying it to each other in other ways for years #ugh #it could have been better #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #castiel #deancas #casdean

[insanesonofabitch]

Going through the Goodbye Stranger tag and everything in there just punches me in the face. They really wrote a scene that was so incredibly and tragically gay that they had to rewrite it to make it less gay, and somehow it still ended up so gay.

#Cas was about to kill Dean #and DEAN SAYS HE FORGIVES HIM FOR THAT #he doesn’t beg #he just accepts what’s coming #and tells Cas that HE LOVES HIM #and then they rewrite it and make it so that Dean says he needs him #We’re family. We need you. I need you. #HE SEPARATES HIS FEELINGS FOR CAS FROM THE OTHERS FEELINGS TOWARDS HIM #JUST LIKE HOW CAS SEPARATES HIS “I love you” FOR DEAN FROM HIS “I love all of you” FOR OTHERS #BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS DIFFERENT WITH CAS #it would’ve been a lot easier if they just shot me #why’d they choose the hammer? #supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #dean x castiel #dean winchester #castiel #goodbye stranger

[sammygender]

YALL ARE NOT SERIOUS PEOPLE no way i’m looking at the tumblr tag for spn 7x03 aka the sam centric flashback episode dealing with his childhood trauma and how he feels like he’s a freak and everyone is just posting about DEAN. dean and his stupid fucking pie. dean winchester used to be my guy! genuinely! s2-3 i truly thought i was a deangirl! But you people (plus this show atp lmfao) are making me hate him😭

#he was cute witn his silly pie. and i care for him and understand he’s grieving cas and thinks he’s about to lose sam and is therefore copin #Awfully and doing things like resorting to black and white john winchester embedded monster racism to do so #But thing is i’m actually getting pretty fucking sick of him coping awfully #he never learns he never grows he just gets angrier. he’s incapable of seeing sammy as someone whose decisions can be respected despite the #fact sam literally SAVED THE WORLD by SACRIFICING HIMSELF. #he just sits around and drinks and tries to become his father and avoid becoming his father in equal amounts #he’s actually awful!! sam goes off to do a case something totally justified (tho sure he could’ve asked) and dean fucking punches him in the #face… and somehow it just Doesn’t feel haha funny because its forceful and it’s serious and this is like the 3rd time he’s done this shit #and it’s also in the same ep where we see sams fraught relationship w john (Bc Duh) which is paralleled to the relationship amy has with her #mom where her mom fucking hits her. like. #dean winchester!!! when i find you!!!!!!!! stop recreating ur trauma!!!!!!!! stop taking shit out on sam :( #he cares sooooooooo deeply and it affects every fucking thing he does that’s why he’s so awful and why he cant cope #But guess what the same can be said about john winchezter the same can be said about a LOT of people. doesn’t excuse anything dean. GET YOUR #SHIT TOGETHER. #i love dean he’s vividly compelling to me. But. :/ #oliver talks #sam winchester

[castielcommunism]

destiel dynamic I am partial to is when dean is being abrasive and argumentative but cas doesn’t care so he’s just responding to him like they’re having a normal conversation. dean is his pet chihuahua who barks all the time and cas is like that’s nice dear you are very fearsome. what brand of ketchup should we buy

#deancas.txt #i feel like a lot of stuff between tfw would be solved if Sam and cas just brushed off deans more abraisive behaviour #like I have a friend who talks the way dean does and it’s largely not an issue #like it’s just his communication style and he doesn’t mean anything by it #and Dean just talks! he just likes making noise sometimes #and a lot of it is loud and obnoxious but that’s just the type of guy he is

[quietwingsinthesky]

so because nick was able to almost raise lucifer from the empty, we really have to assume that anyone could do it. like all he had was some determination and a hammer, and he could have pulled it off. so. what im saying is that this leads us to assume that in-universe, dean just didnt feel like it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#im sorry im thinking about cas confession scene again and its so funny. its so funny. bro you KNOW how to get him out #its not that hard!! nick figured it out!! #there are literally no in-universe barriers to getting cas back out of the empty once he’s in there so!!!! #so we just kind of have to assume!!! that no one felt like doing it!!! #option 2: sam asked ‘hey what happened to cas’ and dean went ‘yeah he seemed like he wanted to sacrifice himself i think we should honor #his wishes’ and sam goes ‘???????? okay.’ and then they never talk about it again #option 3 is that cas is so embarrassed how poorly his confession went and that dean doesn’t feel that way about him that when sam & dean #DID try to get him out. he hid. probably behind uriel or something. #there is no option here where everyone tried their hardest to get cas out because if they DID he would be out. its literally not that hard. #this is even ignoring the fact that jack is god now even without that its just. something anyone can do. if they feel like it. #dean lets cas die and thinks of him like a pet they should bury in the front yard send post #we have him on record as saying he thinks of cas like a talking dog its not ooc. its practically canon. #spn #dean winchester #castiel spn

[reptilia2003]

whole family is in a weird transition period rn and i don’t like it

#basically my partner has a year left of law school and then we’ll be headed Somewhere for my masters but idk where yet but maybe back to CA #meanwhile my sister is in college and my parents have had to split their time between home and where she goes to school #and my aunt and uncle are moving up there as well bc my cousin and his family are there #so like. my whole family LIFE in the Bay Area doesn’t really exist anymore and won’t really ever exist again #just weird idk man. it feels so scary getting old or whatever the good Lorde said

[shallowseeker]

Today am thinking about how Cas riskily dangled Jack to Dumah with the intention of enticing Dumah and Heaven to nab him and “mold him.”

He knew what Heaven would rush to do with Jack’s power, because that’s what he pitched to motivate them (restore Heaven and brutally bending humanity to its will).

And yet, he acts shocked when they have Jack murder innocent atheists and brainwash followers. But it’s just that. Acting shocked. He’s not shocked. But righteous anger acts as a balm to the ugliness of his strategy.

This hypocrisy reveals such a crunchy, military-minded Cas. He was in a rush to find Jack. And his blitz strategy made things way worse for everyone. Jack was alone, grieving. He would not come to Cas, so I wonder why he thought Heaven would be a good option?

If Jack was indeed soulless, as Cas fatalistically verbalized in the bunker, he may have handed them a “weapon” that quickly aligned to Heaven and was unwilling to come back to them at all. It’s an incredibly flawed strategy.

Putting him in Heaven’s crosshairs hurt Jack and indirectly hurt innocents who found themselves at the mercy of his powers.

He manipulated Dumah the way Dumah manipulated Jack, because he felt it was the lesser of evils available, and it allowed Jack to stay alive. (Cas was convinced Jack was soulless.)

Then, he gets mad about The Winchesters manipulating Jack, because they felt it was the lesser of evils available, and it allowed Jack to stay alive. (They witnessed that Jack was actively killing innocent people.)

#often forgotten latter seasons facts #cas acts like cas #both sets were feeling tye pressure of au bobby and the hunters ofc #but it’s far from simple #i sympathize with cas’s stress in this #but i find this hypocrisy breathtaking and i love it #cas’s strategy often gets masculine levels of respect it doesn’t always deserve #he gets branded tactician whereas the boys’ tactics get branded as emotional etc

[castielmacleod]

Let him heal from his own issues or else <3

#Castiel #My posts #I have never seen a more traumatised self-loathing abused character be reduced to providing free therapy for some arsehole in every fic #Irdc if that arsehole is also traumatised self-loathing and abused if you’re still reducing Cas to his emotional prop #Yes Cas is a very compassionate loving empathetic supportive person but it very much comes at the cost of his own wellbeing #And NOBODY ever supports him back the way he supports them #At least not in the show. Unless you count angels like Balthazar and Hannah etc #And this translates very handily into the fandom. Like Cas has NO baggage of his own somehow #(And I mean baggage beyond pining for Dean or whatever. To be clear.) #Cas feeling worthless if he’s not useful. Cas feeling responsible for the downfall of the angels. Cas traumatised by violence loss death etc #Cas feeling unloved. Cas feeling unloveable. Literally this is all the same stuff you people #project onto Dean like constantly so why doesn’t Cas ever get to reconcile these things and heal from them???? #And again. I cannot stress this enough. Cas getting kissed by secret good Dean in your au fanfics ≠ healing #And the thing is that I don’t care which sad boy in particular you ship Cas with if it’s Crowstiel Sastiel Destiel or something else #Because Crowley and Sam certainly have just an insane amount of issues themselves but crucially so does Cas #You treat his issues equitably in your fanworks or you pay him an hourly fuckin rate for his CBT services. Lol.

[threefuckencrowsinatrenchcoat]

I’m never gonna get over the guy in s3e15 who, when asked if he wanted to catch the guy who stole his kidney, asked if it would get him his kidney back and when he was told no decided he didn’t care that much ab catching the guy bc what’s the point

#it’s genz culture actually #like. ig u can find the criminal but not if it’s too much work !!! #who needs two kidneys anyway #he’s all like well yeah it hurt like a Mf but what am I gonna do now it’s already GONE #most relatable spn character #10/10 tbh #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #this is actually the first post I’ve ever tagged Sam in and I feel a little bad but #90% of my spn posts are me comparing this fandom to others #and the other 10% is the destiel confession meme #I also personally believe sam would hate tumblr #don’t get me wrong him and Dean both have accounts bc. they can see posts ab demons and shit #but neither of them rly care #meanwhile cas has a small corner of Tumblr fame #he doesn’t post any specific thing it’s just so random #tags are longer than the actual post #i’ll shut up now #threefuckencrows watches spn

[robbed-ghost]

what got you into jondami?

It’s kind of hard to remember because it happened like…freshman year of high school, but I think I stumbled across Jorge Jimenez’ cover art on Pinterest and I was like “oh?” Because I love to draw and look at composition—Pretty soon I looked into who they were and their backstories and just fell in love with Damian’s tragedy and Jon’s kindness, and how they both have a little of each in themselves that other people don’t realize right away (or ever) that they bring out when they’re together. Got myself some Supersons comics and Damian’s run and it was endgame right about then and there ❤️

#EEEE THANK YOU FOR ASKINGGGG :333 #I was huge on Spider-Man until then and the switch was crazyyy #like comics level spiderman and some mcu aus but nothing crazy #and dbh and spideypool and Merlin yadda yadda #I’ve a habit of gravitating towards opposites with one really goofy character or one really serious character that breaks into a goofy one #❤️ #also keep in mind this was like… ca. 2019 #it doesn’t feel long ago at all but I had the whole pandemic to lose my mind about them and how close in age we were #I still think they should both be my age right about now but ALAS this is dc

[amberpriceenthusiast]

I fuck w aromantic ca cupid

I don’t care how illogical it is, I love aro ca cupid

#ever after high #ca cupid #like imagine #she loves love but she’s never been in love #she wants to be in love #so she gets attached to Dexter but the feelings aren’t real #she doesn’t like him but she wants him to like her #also queer platonic blondpid? best thing ever

[flippedorbit]

i’m just. so fucking angry

#Rasp Rambles #she expects me to treat her with the utmost respect and then turns around and treats me like shit. and is surprised when i even consider #doing something she doesn’t approve of. i am a god damn person with feelings and wants and desires and hopes and dreams. none of which i ca #get or experience or even try to accomplish in this fucking household. #i just want things to get better finally. i’ve waited 18 fucking years for things to get better but they just keep getting worse and worse #and its getting harder to even consider that things will get better.