#it do be like that these days

[rants-n-chants]

Today I am heavy. There is a stone warming in my stomach, it has no other purpose, but to be a heavy burden.

#27rantinglilies #It do be like that these days #writing #writeblr #spilled ink #prose writing #exsistence #Is cruel #Anxiety

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[callisteios]

i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like

#that's my guarentee #ignore the quiz description #features some of my favourite characters. eg. ianthe tridentarius. jaws. sonny!dog day afternoon. nicolas cage. kendall roy. hope this help #im not going to tag every fandom that's rude #uquiz #quiz #personality quiz #mine #i don't know why i put the sport question i hate the sport question. #wasted like half a day asking stupid questions like 'do we think vriska serqet would prefer football or hockey'

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3 #mine #cats #brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY #we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u #i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful #i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff #maybe....maybe next time #i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it #bc i . do not know what im doing :3

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function #with sleep #getting ready for work #commute #cooking #and errands #I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day #and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do #and that's with a very short commute #if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work #i see my friends like once every few weeks or months #because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising #and none of us even have kids or anything!!

[kenobihater]

tragedy enjoyers when a character perpetuates the cycle of violence they themselves were a victim of

#SORRY IT'S COMPELLING LOL #i was gonna write up a meta post abt astarion but im only in act 1 & havent got as firm a grasp on his character as id like to do that yet #one day soon mayhaps... #len speaks #len's memes #astarion #<-tagging my current blorbo du jour bc he's the reason this post exists

[skellydun]

why is it when people ask me what i want as a gift i immediately become someone who enjoys nothing at all and has never wanted anything a day in their life.

#my birthday is a month away and my best friend and i #will be on our vacation in a treehouse and so she's trying to make it a Day and wants to have gifts there and im like uh #who am i ? #what do i like? #28 on the 09/18 baby

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[areyouscaredyet]

im not particularly religious but i think it’s very cute that Trans Day of Visibility and Easter are on the same day this year :)

its no question that something like this could be triggering or upsetting to a number of queer ppl given the current sociopolitical climate, so i want everyone to remember that u are loved! Regardless of what u or others believe, there are ppl who will love and support you always. Give yourself patience and treat yourself with care!!!

happy and peaceful TDOV everyone!! And Easter to those who celebrate :D

#sorry for treating Jesus like an anime character #trans day of visibility #tdov #easter #Jesus is actually very fun to draw #I have no idea how to tag this because what do I even say #lgbtqia #religion #Jesus #christianity #christian imagery #sorry for all the tags I just wanna make sure ppl can filter this if they don’t wanna see it lol #i drawd this

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...

#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually #and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash #and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change #also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb #from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs #and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash #or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into #and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is #ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)! #rimi talks

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[cozylittleartblog]

not that we didn't already Know belos was full of shit, but it's even funnier knowing the titan was still alive the whole time and probably judging him

#toh #the owl house #emperor belos #papa titan #the titan #art #doodles #comic #fanart #watching and dreaming #captioned #brief visit to ye olde days of memeing on belos... those still get spread around #i hope the titan saw him get his shit stomped in before they passed on #like yes luz was right there but did the titan actually get to see it. i hope so #shoulda been broadcast on penstagram too #there's a piece of fanart i wanted to draw after. i think o titan where art thou. but i never got around to it #because it had animation in it. and im regretting it now #maybe i will finally do it. and something else too #the whole titan reveal brings with it a lot of tropes and ideas that absolutely destroy me personally #and i need to Draw about it #edit - thank you anistarrose for the caption! #''he wasn't Really alive'' you're right they were a secret third thing. the heart still beats. they were still Somewhere #but it's easier to just say Alive. it's not Technically wrong #i try to keep my captions short ok

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton into the FNAF-verse

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #william afton #dave miller #steve raglan #dayshift at freddy's #the fourth closet #fnaf movie #sister location #dsaf #dsaf dave #dsaf fanart #fnaf #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #spiderverse #I’m so sorry for this comic guys #I couldn’t get this idea out of my head #HUGE DAY for DSAF likers though!! #Book Dave doesn’t really like DSAF Dave pff #also finally drew my game William design again #also first time drawing anything from the fourth closet! #so many firsts SO many wills #don’t gotta worry about them all meeting up #cause I doubt the wills will get along enough to do anything evil #just an ego competition

[lenaellsi]

mwah

#good omens #good omens fanart #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #azcrow #crowley's lil snake tat likes kisses too :3 #one day i'll do something that isn't a messy self-indulgent sketch #or i wont

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

#it’s just??? #at the end of the day all these people want to do is draw and write their stories and share them with the world #why is death from stress the end game for so many of them #this should not be part of the package when finally deciding that this is what you want to do with your life #rambling #I still never got over miura’s passing man #and Togashi is still here but he’s been suffering from the consequences of overwork #it’s just… all so bleak #fans just need to learn to be patient if these changes are ever made and to be respectful #your fav series is not gonna die just because you can’t get it right now #I’m glad that gege does this now like he takes a break every 2-3 chapters and that’s good #this should be normalized