#it comes down to a popularity contest every fricking time and its not.

[agirlinthegalaxy]

Not to be dramatic, but something in my heart hurts that, despite being the one to keep it going and basically doing everything myself for the past year, I’m still not the one they picked to run it, bc they wanted someone was joined under a month again and doesn’t have nearly the same amount of experience, skills, or qualifications as me, simply bc I’m not as liked.

#( dumbass decisions on the daily | personal ) #i kinda. started to figure out this was gonna be how it worked out a few days ago but i still kind of want to cry bc like. #i wanted it. so bad. i've done basically everything for the past year and i didnt get it the first time and i could justify it then #but i cant now bc. objectively i was the better choice. like if it came down to who was more qualified it was me without a doubt and yet #bc i had plans and goals and things i wanted to do and now. whats the point? i cant do them or even if i did someone else would get the cred #i was just so excited and passionate and now it feels pointless. like i gave all of my time and energy and not a single person could give a #but then when it comes down to actually picking someone to run it people who never cared or did anything pick someone else #and it just sucks bc its just. really not fair #and i am so sick of trying and putting myself out there for things i'd be amazing at and instead #it comes down to a popularity contest every fricking time and its not. #its not as if im not likable. i hope. but just. not likable enough apparently and i REALLY was so close to getting over that #and this just. reinforced it in the worst way possible and just like. whats the point #why should i continue trying when no one cares #why should i continue trying when im never gonna get the good parts of it #why does no one ever believe that i have the ability and skill and dedication to be good at something when t's a choice