#it came to the US from China so it took forever

[kairolee2004]

I feel like this would be impossible but— HEAR ME OUT!

Imagine if- as a young child, you lived in Texas and had a close friend that you would even consider your best friend. Thomas Hewitt..

And when your younger teenage years came around, your parents moved you out of Texas and all the way to England.

You live there still in your mid twenties and decided to get a job. A Nanny job to an English family by the name of the Heelshires. Of course you thought is was for a real child but it turns out the nanny job is to take care of a life-sized porcelain doll. The two parents tell you that the “doll” is named Brahams… Supposedly, the real Brahms perished in a fire 20 years ago, and he had apparently rejected several nannies prior to being introduced to you. As Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire leave for their vacation, you are given a list of rules to follow in regard to their son.

Turns out, the bastard wasn’t dead but better yet, living in the walls and stalking you. He had become obsessed and in love with you. How couldn’t he? You were so damn perfect and gorgeous… you needed to stay forever. He tried to keep you all to himself. But you got away with only one suitcase.

You tried to think of a place where you know Brahams would never think to try and look for you. Somewhere completely different from where you were right now… how about Texas?

Making your way all the way back to Texas, you decide that it wouldn’t hurt to see some old family. And head on over to the Hewitt family house. When you arrive, you of course see Luda may and charlie (Hoyt) but you don’t see Tommy anywhere. You ask about him to Luda May and she calls for him… you weren’t ready for what you saw.

Tommy wasn’t the same old little boy who was shorter than you, smaller than you, quieter than you- no.

This was a full grown ass man with 2 feet towering over you and more than 200 pounds of muscle to over power you. And when you say he was “quieter than you.” You meant it. As kids he didn’t talk much and now he still didn’t say a word. It was his eyes.. yelled and screamed with ruthlessness. His eyes seemed as if he saw stuff. They weren’t innocent like they used to be. If looks could kill, you would have dropped minutes ago.

Yet his actions spoke other wise. When he first saw you, he was stiff, kinda like when a bull walks around in a china shop. With the intention of not breaking something so precious and fragile. He didn’t want to break you.

Next thing you know, your body without mind, walks towards him and hugs him. He is stunned for a second before he engulfs himself around you. In a protective manner, a way of saying ‘I’m not letting you go…’

You felt off when you hugged him. Sure it was nice when you saw your childhood friend once more but then again… he wasn’t at the same time. This place was different, this family too. They all were dark souls that were covered with a normal family persona. It was wrong.

Luda May promised that you could stay one night and in the morning you could hit the road again. You felt no reassurance behind those words.

As you got ready for bed, you opened the one suitcase that you took from the Heelshire house, you were frightened… you had some clothes in there and some essentials but one thing was out of place. Brahams porcelain mask. You knew how much this mask meant to him… and he would do anything to get it back. Even if that meant going 4,669.21 miles just to get it back.

Later that night in the bedroom, as you were about to fall asleep, you heard blood curdling screaming coming from the basement. As you made your way down from your room, you saw a young woman burst through the basement door and she was covered with blood. Not far behind her, followed Tommy. He looked at the pathetic women, then at you. He looked terrifying… you didn’t move, only stared.

The young woman screamed at you for help, that was until Tommy revived his chainsaw and killed her with it. This couldn’t be real- right?

Reality hit when all of a sudden, Tommy came over to you and held the side of your face softly. And looked into your eyes. He didn’t want you to be scared of him.

You over lapped your hand over his and held it without saying a word. Slightly leaning into his touch. He helped you stand up and held the back of your head, with the other hand on the small of your back.

You let your head lean against his chest. This was wrong on so many levels… you both knew it. Yet it didn’t stop both of you. This was a silent moment needed.

Well… that was until you heard his voice again. The fear of which you knew was bound to come once more.

“(Reader), Why did you leave me?” Brahams child voice appeared right behind of Thomas. When he turned around, he was there. Brahams of course didn’t have his mask but rather yet, pieces of the porcelain dolls face glued together. It was a sight to behold.

Both men stared at each other… you couldn’t tell what they were thinking but you could definitely tell what was about to go down.

Oh no …

Could you imagine that?

I swear! These two men got me by the throat- ;/;

I absolutely adore these two masked men, and I mean come on how could you not!?! <333

#x reader #slasher fucker #slasher community #slashers headcanons #slashers #slashers x reader #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #tommy hewitt #brahms heelshire x reader #brahams heelshire #slasher imagines #my obsession #daily thoughts #I LOVE THOMAS AND BRAHAMS!!!

[wonderfulwonderrful]

Season of Love (2/?)

+18 | Toto x reader fem!teamprincipal

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you told Toto, "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That was the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong. Pairing: Toto Wolff x reader team principal. Genre: Romance, comedy, and some good drama. Author's note: Thank you for reading and supporting my delulu fic!

Dances with Wolff Arc Chapter 2: Lights out, and away your feelings go!

Australia By mere luck, Toto had one of those sponsors' events in the afternoon, and he was wearing a Tom Ford tan suit with a white shirt, a classic ensemble, instead of his usual Mercedes kit.

And you, well, you looked so chic wearing a romantic Saint Laurent satin mini dress with an off-the-shoulder neckline paired with ribbon bowtie Jimmy Choo stilettos up to the occasion.

You wave Sam goodbye as she enters the car and returns to the hotel. And then Toto and you stay standing there, not knowing what to do next.

—So, at what time is the reservation? —Toto asks you.

—In two hours, it is downtown.

—Good. We are getting there on time, right?

—Oh yeah, we can go on my c... —You look at the empty space where your Lambo was parked - well, where Michael parked it, now empty and immediately take out your phone, shit! You left it on airplane mode. All messages and missed calls start to appear, red dots everywhere. Your assistant asked if you needed the car or if they had moved it to the hotel hours ago. Later, she sent the chauffeur to pick you up, but he couldn't reach you. He waited for you a long time and left.

—My team took my car, so...

—No worries. I can take us there.

"For sure you can!" you thought. Jesus, why were you so horny lately?

Toto then texts his chauffeur, and on your way, you two go; it was a quiet ride for a bit.

—So...

—So...

You both laugh at the back of the car.

—So our minds are connected, huh? —you joke, referring to your tendency to talk at the same time.

—It's becoming a bad habit, yes —Smiles. —I was going to ask you where have you been existing. Everyone close to me seems to know you, but they never mentioned it before; I feel left out; somehow, I have no idea who you are —Toto tells you.

—First of all, I take serious offense that neither Niki nor Sam mentioned me before; how dare they? And to answer your question in Belgium. I met Niki recently and Sam forever ago but she is pretty private so I guess that's why.

—Umh, I thought Sam and I had something special, but I'm calling it quits —Toto says. —She keeps secrets from me —putting on a fake sad face.

—Welcome to da' club. She's all Lewis's now.

-

Then, at the restaurant.

Toto and you were greeted by a blond supermodel-looking hostess who took you to your booked table. You entered the historical building - big old brown bricked walls, high ceilings with restored wooden beams, and dark marble tile floors - barely lit with just a couple of lights strategically placed reflected on the walls. The tables were small and intimate, and all the furniture was statement pieces - wooden carved and expensive textiles - the silverware and china were spectacular. The place was a printery back in the day, and it ended up in the middle of downtown and has now turned into a Michelin-starred restaurant.

The hostess acted extra caring with Toto, taking all the time to tenderly adjust his blindfold and explain every single step and detail of the dining experience. Since he couldn't see her, she went all handsy, relying on touch a bit much, and for obvious reasons, she tied your blindfold too tight. Really, girl?! Sorority like in where?

—So it's crucial for the experience when you give the food to each other, slowly savor the flavors and then start a conversation about each dish, what it made you feel, what reminded you of, what you thought it was, taking turns —she tells you two as she takes each your hand and makes you feel the space where a single plate full of finger food where to be placed - on top of a marble "lazy susan." —Please let me know if you need me —a lot of emphasis on "need me" and more addressed to Toto than you.

Wait, what?! Give each other the food?! What on earth?! You are so glad Toto isn't able to see you because, for sure, you are tomato red. Then you hear the hostess walk away.

—I frequent high-cuisine restaurants all over the world, yet I haven't dared with this one. It has so many mixed reviews —Toto tells you.

—I met the Chef at an auction gala for charity. He sat at our table and sold us the idea, which sounded exciting and intrigued me, so I told him I would stop by when in Melbourn —you add. He never mentioned that we had to feed each other during the experience.

A moment later, the dish arrived, and the experience began. Your hands were shaking a little bit. Your days went from ignoring Toto's bare existence to placing food into his mouth now.

—By all means, you go first —He offers you. Why did he have to be a gentleman?!

—Sure, thanks —You don't know where to start, so you pick a bite and stay there frozen when Toto notices it softly grabs your hand to guide you to his mouth to avoid you pocking him an eye with the food. Many "Oh god, oh god" fill your mind. You could sense him slowly biting the food from your fingers, his warm breaths on your skin, while hearing soft crunch noises.

He munches. And you wait, hand now resting on the table.

—Soft skin —he says.

—That is what it tasted you like?!

—No, of course not —Toto softly chuckles. —You have soft skin. The bite tasted like, amh, some sort of Gnocchi, but it wasn't. I'm not a big fan of this one and its flavor.

—So you like Italian cuisine?

—Everyone likes Italian cuisine, duh.

—Excuse you? That attitude, Sir! —you flirt, I mean, joke with him.

—Yes! I used to spend the summers in Italy with my family. It is a country that reminds me of my father. Cinque Terre has a special place in my heart.

—You miss your dad —You say before thinking, shit! Now he will assume that Sam and you gossip about him or think you Googled him. Shit! You are supposed to not know anything about him. Lol, if he knew. —It must be hard being away from family all the time with this busy schedule —Smart girl... Good save..?

He looks at you, a bit confused. —Ahm, yes. I miss my dad.

—Okay, it's my turn! —you shift topics quickly and naturally.

Toto picks up a small bite, and you wrap your hand around his wrist, guiding him to your mouth. Your thumb finger could feel his pulse, which weirdly relaxes you. You bite the food slowly, and your lips make a bit of contact, brushing the skin of his fingers.

—What does it taste you like? —he asks you. You try your best not to have dirty thoughts.

—Feet? God, this is awful —you answer while trying to chew the fucker.

Toto almost chokes on his water. Who calls feet a signature Michelin-star dish?

—I'm so hating this! I can't with pretentious places, to be honest. Uptight people are the worst!

—You tell me I live surrounded by those, but you will be fine. Why did you mention the uptight people?

—Send tips. Because there is no way an average person could have come up with this idea and this type of food! What are these flavors, honestly?!

—You are hilarious.

—Aw, thanks. What am I to you, a clown? Well, every circus needs one... I'm glad to help! Why do you keep laughing, stop!

—You are so right; F1 can be a circus! —Toto admits.

—So, what's your job at the F1 circus? No, seriously, don't laugh. TOTO STOP. Do you juggle or what? —You two keep reaching closer over and under the small table, knees now touching.

—Highly accurate! Or I could be that one guy on the tightrope! —He waves his arms.

—So meta. Listen, for us girls being the ones stereotypically called "catfight-ty," you guys...

—You have no idea! And it is just starting...

—Does the drama get too good? You are getting me excited! Don't play with my heart, Torger.

—I won't —Somehow, it sounds more profound and meaningful. Silence.

—Can we go back to the food, please? We are getting distracted from its delicious flavors —you say amidst giggles. —What? Don't you believe me? This dish is so good, "Latifi good".

Chuckles. Then you notice Toto left his right hand on top of yours this whole time.

With your free one, you pick up another portion. —Oh, you are going to love this one. Smells, uhm, so good. Wait for my soft hands to come closer —you tease Toto.

He loses it. People around you start judging you two; you are being "noisy."

—Why suddenly I don't want to open my mouth? I'm not helping you get there anymore. Find your way; if you miss it, then I'm so sorry.

—Oh, don't you worry, "Tots". I can always ask for more of these.

—Oh god, no.

The dining experience ended on the sixth small bite, thank Jesus. You two never walked out of a restaurant that fast, and none of you felt like staying to experience the drinks part, judging by the food.

But were in desperate need of refreshers. The night was now fully set, and the air was fresh. You two walk almost hand in hand on the sidewalk under the clear skies, choosing to explore the city, looking in the surroundings for a pub. You were lured by a very busy one - with live music - three drunk girls burst out of the door in a great mood, and it looked packed; then it must be good!

It was. —Do I ask to pour you a pint, too? Or are you on a diet or something? —Toto offers you on his way to get drinks. A great cover of "Your Love by The Outfield" played in the background. The singer had great vocals, and the guitarist was so talented.

—On a diet? God, no. I'm not that fit! Who gives that excuse? Who's that picky?

—There are people —Toto answers, a bit sad. You wonder if Sussie behaved like that. Of course, you don't dig.

While he goes on his mission, you find the last free table for yourselves. The place was what you pictured when someone said "pub". A classic, extensive wooden bar, tap beer, and tons of bottles on display. Small round tables, bar stools, and many empty frames hanging on the wooden panel walls mixed with art deco posters. It's nothing fancy but eclectic and cool.

As time passed, you two got drunk and the beers, too. You talked and talked and talked about everything. At least what you two wanted to share, obvious subjects were avoided. Toto didn't mention Sussie the whole time, and you chose not to reveal much about your "situation." The two of you formed a bond and had such chemistry none could explain. You were feeling so comfy with each other. He looked so happy and having a blast, and you were, too.

Then, the drinking contest started, and you sent your best knight to battle. You ended up sitting cross-legged on top of the bar with your short dress going up with your every move, surrounded by a group of people watching the spectacle - as well as the other couples of contestants - with Toto on his feet right next to you, resting one of his hands on your thighs. At the same time, you poured the beers directly into his mouth. The first one to finish a row of four pints with no pauses and successfully do "the loaded twirl" - four fast spins - then walk to ring the bell at the end of the counter - without falling - could leave not paying a penny, and win a cool metal medal too.

Toto sounded the bell first. And the place went fucking nuts.

By the end of your night out, you two couldn't even walk straight as you were being playful on the sidewalk on your way to meet your driver. At some point, you lost a heel while dancing, you knew how to move and rhythm was natural to you. Toto carried you around until a good soul gifted you his flip-flops; the poor unknown hero was so into you. Fantastic pubs and guys on flip-flops, thank you, Australia.

While rocking the stranger's flip-flops with your Saint Laurent mini dress, you were singing and throwing some moves on the street at the sound of "Notorious by Duran Duran" - it was the last song you heard the band played before leaving and got stuck in your head - it was around 4 a.m. by then.

Toto had his medal wrapped around his head, looking all stupid and hot. There is no sight of his suit jacket. He must have lost it when you took him to the bathroom - of course, you waited for him outside. He was too drunk to get there alone - or when you two started dancing, burning some of the alcohol in your systems.

There is something about him that makes you feel so many things, and you don't want the night to end. And you wanted to spend more time with him, listening to his voice, hearing his laugh, looking at his eyes, having his body near yours. You find him so attractive.

—I don't remember the last time I had this much fun; it must have been ages ago! —he says, way too loud and drunk.

—Me too! We should do this again! Are you sure it's here? —you reply, looking around. No cars in sight.

—Yes! I'm not that drunk. Here is where the pin marks —he says, looking too closely into his phone. His nose almost touched the screen, looking at the map.

—Let me see.

—Nein —He raises his phone, extending his arm, placing it out of your reach. You jump to grab it, failing miserably. You ended up bumping him instead. Balance isn't a thing for any of you at the moment. And you both get closer. At some point in the night, you two started to behave like magnets, unable to keep away from each other, all handsy. Toto places a hand on your lower back to steady you.

You aren't sure if the sensation you are feeling is the alcohol in your system or the butterflies in your stomach.

—You are so carefree. Zero pretentious. So fun. So captivating, so... —Toto says in such a dangerous voice, staring at your lips with his fingers, placing your hair behind your ear.

You two get closer.

—So..? —You beg him to continue, staring at his lips too. You take the lead and start closing the distance between you.

It's been a while since either of you had sex in your lives.

Or love.

He looks at you with desire and affection but without moving an inch. Then Toto decides to take a step back.

That distance feels like miles, and the car arrives. Ending an almost perfect night.

You feel ashamed since you overstepped and carried yourself away. None of you mentioned what just happened on the ride back to the hotel.

-

Spending time with you starts to feel like a necessity to him now.

Toto is standing there, left shoulder leaning against the bar wall near where the band is playing, sipping his beer, watching you dance with some strangers, glowing and smiling, and having fun among those girls while he admires your curves and body movements. You have the magic to make him forget about the rest of the world, its people, and its problems. Going out with you tonight felt like healing, like self-care. 

After days of being heartbroken, Toto called things off with Sussie, which was not an easy choice. She was the love of his life, or so he thought, and after spending a significant portion of your life with someone, saying goodbye to that person is never easy.

Even if tonight was great and felt like a lucid dream, he couldn't escape reality forever. This Cinderella story had an end.

Of course, he notices the way you look at him. The attention you pay to his every word, your excitement every time you make him smile, or how you lean closer to his touch whenever the two of you make accidental - or not - contact.

But he wasn't ready for you. Of course, he would love to make a move and enjoy the whole of you, explore your every corner, trace your hips with his hands, and feel your body beneath his, making you release sounds he would love to hear. He wanted to fuck you badly, but you weren't just for a one-night stand.

You deserved someone who could fully admire you. That worshiped you. And Toto wasn't able to be that guy at the moment. He felt wounded and needed time for himself.

So, when you had the courage he lacked to make the move, knowing that if he accepted that kiss, you would wake up tangled in his sheets, he stepped back.

Seeing your surprised, embarrassed, and hurt reaction spiraled him into coming days of somber mood and turned into a quiet ride back to the hotel.

-

Once you reach your destination, the driver opens the car door for you, and you step out of it, praying your balance has returned. After that fiasco ending of the night, all the alcohol in your system seems to have evaporated thanks to that emotional gut punch Toto gave. You glimpse Toto catching your step, walking now as normal as you.

You two may be walking seemly normal now but your looks scream drunks, loud and clear! - messy hair and clothes, not to mention your flip flops, a thing that made you smile as you remembered the now distant memory - as you passed by a floor-to-ceiling mirror on the way to the elevators.

The bellboy pushes the buttons to open the elevator doors for you.

—On which floor is your room? —he asks.

—Oh, no, we aren't...

—Eleven —you answer a little deadpan, interrupting Toto.

—Fourteen —he mumbles.

As you two go up, you start saying goodbye, also wanting to cut the tension a bit. —It was a fun night, "Tots"! My liver may disagree, but we'll see —you smile.

—Yeah, yeah, it was, except for that horrid food —he replies.

—Let's not, let's bury that part.

He nods with a small smile. The door opens on your floor. You smile at him one last time and head out.

Toto wants to say, "Wait!" or follow you down that corridor, inviting himself to your room and bed, but instead, he remains just standing there, and the elevator goes up.

-

You take your time to walk down the corridor, hoping there is still a chance, till you hear the sound of the elevator's doors closing and following it, total silence, no footsteps, no movement. So you let out a sigh and get inside your room.

You are left facing a feeling of emptiness and solitude as you walk across the empty and dark suite with your surviving heel in hand, and then you toss it across the room on the carpet. You enter the shower and start washing your make-up and body off, letting your mind wander to the idea that the two of you could be there right now.

So, a bit defeated by not having Toto's naked and wet body before you, you send yourself to bed, struggling to fall asleep and shut down your brain; after a while, you feel yourself drifting away in the arms of Morfeo - and sadly not Toto's.

-

—He thinks I'm captivating and have soft hands —you say while giggling like a teenager, adding sugar to your Chai at the end of the counter. Already in a better mood, trying to look at the bright side of things.

—Soft hands??? —Sam replies, making a silly face and grabbing a napkin.

You two meet on your way to get Starbucks, located two buildings away from the hotel. You are still hungover and need fuel before stepping into the paddock.

—You know, never mind. I don't want to know —Sam adds, biting her bagel.

—Oh, wait. No. Nothing like that happened —you wave your hands in concern.

—Calm down; you know he and Sussie are in the middle of a time-off. Nothing wrong if it had happened. He has been in such awful moods lately that I think he needs it to happen. This time, their breakup seems real.

—Really!?

—Can you at least don't sound that excited? Oh god, you are smiling. I hate love —Sam sips her black coffee, rolling her eyes at you.

—Leave me live my fantasy, alright? —praying sign, you joke.

—Now you will be all weird around him, won't you?

—Nooo, well, maybe a little. What? Like you don't ship us.

—Puff —Sam lets out.

—Oh, you fed me way too many details about him for years and set us up last night just because, huh?

—Okay. Fair. I sold you the idea. Am I clever, or what? Listen, I care about you two a lot, and frankly, I think you are great for each other.

—Ooh, so Sam Dobrev has a heart.

—Shut up! Please don't make me regret it —she replies, all done with life.

-

—Hi, big guy —Sam pops her head inside Toto's office, simultaneously knocking on the open door.

—You owe me one —Toto answers deadpan. Concentrated, looking straight at his iPad, not bothering to look at her.

—Why?

—That restaurant you made me go to was horrible.

—Well, I didn't pick the place, so no whines to me, but at least the company was fantastic, right?

—Umhju —Toto mutters, still looking at the screen. Then silence.

Sam interprets that answer as I'm not telling you anything else.

—Since you are here trying to gossip. Aren't you busy? If you have free time, you could help me with several things.

—Jeez, that mood. I'm not here to gossip. Here, sign this. Niki needs it.

Toto reads the paper Sam just gave him and picks up his phone. —I need to make a call. Would you mind closing the door on your way out? Thank you.

—Okay —Sam answers slowly and exaggerates the "O" while doing what was asked. Even she knows messing with a somber Toto wasn't a good idea.

Unfortunately for you, no gossip or insights of your night out were obtained from Toto.

-

It was a Grand Prix victory for Lewis. And a third place for Mick, but since it was his first podium, you guys celebrated as if he had just won the race. Sadly, Millie got pulled out of the track for a technical issue with the car.

You were hoping to chitchat with Toto at the podium ceremony, make him laugh a little, and watch his beautiful smile. Well, you hoped that the entire day, actually. But he was nowhere to be seen.

Until you spotted him in the distance, there was no casual way to start a conversation with him that way, and you didn't want to be perceived as pushy or desperate going straight to him. So you let the idea die. There was no rush.

If something was meant to be, it will happen without forcing things.

Right?

-

Azerbaijan

On the paddock in Baku, Toto chose to behave the opposite of that night in Melbourne. Serious, professional, and borderline unfriendly - but still polite.

That caught you off guard, and it was so confusing. After spending that great time together, you thought you two were on your path to becoming friends or more if luck was on your side. You didn't get the sudden change, and it was a bit hurtful when you went to say hi to him - all warm and smiling - and he gave the cold shoulder with a blunt "Good morning" and kept on walking.

You stood there looking a bit stupid, wondering if you did something to bother him or if he was acting Austrian. Maybe Toto was feeling really uncomfortable by how you approached him at the end of that night. Damn, drunk you!

But then, a couple of hours later:

"Unknown" is typing...

—Darci told me you left your office to have lunch. But I'm here outside your hospitality and don't see you - Toto.

Your assistant gave him your number. —Hi!!! Yes, I'm here having lunch.

—Where? I'm wearing my good glasses, and I'm sure you are not that bald guy eating a salad.

—Sandro is a very nice guy. Look up, grandpa!

—The rooftop? What are you, a pigeon?

No joke in reply, just an honest: —I like the view from here. It's peaceful! Bonus points for being private. No one bothers me here or intrudes. It's my secret special place. Do you want to join?

Toto finishes climbing the ladder and goes to greet you, kissing you on the cheek. As he does so, a crazy thought crosses your mind: What if you turn your head? Is stealing a kiss considered harassment? But you don't.

You two share your homemade Yakimeshi - you love cooking even if you have a private Chef, and you are damn good at it, well, according to everyone that has eaten your food, so you ask the hotel to get you the fresh ingredients you need - while talking about the day, sharing ideas, throwing shade, and enjoying each other's presence.

—What a diva! —you reply, grabbing a portion with your chopsticks.

—I know. I expected better, but engineers... you know —Toto shrugs.

—Ye! —you agree. Sometimes, they acted, well, a little bit challenging.

Toto was acting so relaxed and casual as you expected him to be, and not what was going on in the morning. You wonder so badly why there is a change in ways, but you don't dare to ask.

"What if he has bipolar disorder?" a question that came to your mind at some desperate point during your day. Not that there was something wrong with that.

The sun is setting, and you two enjoy the view, sitting next to each other - no space in between - He places his arm around you, palm resting next to your left hand, but without making physical contact.

This becomes a routine for you two, lunching together on the rooftop of the W hospitality, away from the rest of the world, in your private little bubble. It becomes your favorite moment of the day. And Toto's, too, even if he swore he would never like routine.

-

Miami

—Excuse me, excuse me, how did the tire taste you like? —you tease a very solemn Lewis walking past you on the paddock while you pretend to hold an invisible mic at his face, acting like a reporter. An instant smile forms on his lips.

—Roscoe attack! —Lewis commands.

Roscoe stares at him for a second and then wanders to sniff a palm tree, not caring.

—I think your trick didn't work —you get closer to greet him with a hug.

—He is too lazy for that —he tells you while embracing you.

—You are too cute; don't listen to that man! —you say with a silly voice, addressing Roscoe, letting Lewis go, and flexing to pet the dog, rubbing around his ears, which Roscoe seems to enjoy.

It was a Qualy of hell for Mercedes. Lewis's car's back tire flew out into the air before bouncing on a safety barrier at speed, almost hitting him back. Plus, George's car ended up in the gravel after losing power.

In contrast, Williams did great. Mick was one with the car, achieving the day's fastest lap.

—Feeling better, sweetie? —you ask Lewis with honest concern, after seeing the incident unfold and how he made it out of the car really distraught.

Although you must admit that even though that whole thing wasn't funny, the memes were pure gold, so you texted Toto your pick: the one where the tire hit the space station with a photoshopped explosion, the one with Lewis's face photoshopped on a baseball player hitting a home run, but instead of the ball it was the tire and your favorite, the one with photoshopped Toto, Lewis, and George riding the tire to the sky.

—Yeah. I'm good. A positive mindset always helps, thanks.

—I think I just saw you kicking, crying, and screaming in the bathroom, Mr. Positive Mind Set —Sam joins the conversation, teasing him.

—HA HA

—So, what's the plan for tonight-A? —she asks.

—Noone human says tonight like that. Not even Michael Jackson on drugs —you tell Sam.

—We are in Miami, chica! Aren't we clubbing?! —she replies.

—Are you high?

—I will if we go out...

—You realize we are here for work, right? —Lewis asks her.

—Like we haven't done it before. What's the worst that could happen? Toto finding out? You losing the race? Toto, finding out you lost the race because you went out clubbing with us?

—Yes! —you all answer at the same time. —To all of that —you add.

—Well, not if Toto comes with us...

Lewis starts laughing like a madman. —Sam, are you suggesting convincing Toto to go clubbing with us the night before the race so he doesn't get mad if he finds out we went clubbing?

—I got lost, mate —George arrives, earing that last part, trying to figure out what the hell.

—Well, I'll not be convincing him. Y/N is.

—ME?!

—If you really love me, you will —Sam pushes you toward the Mercedes' motorhome.

Gaslighting a bit much?

-

How am I supposed to do this? I'm going to sound so unprofessional. Although, technically, you two went out pub-ing?? and got drunk the night before the race in Australia. Okay, that made-up word sounds terrible; let's never use it again, so there may be a slight chance to relive that.

At least you needed to practice your words before going in there since "Hi, Toto, wanna go clubbing?" wasn't an option but destiny was a bitch; you two crossed paths before you had the opportunity to rehearse. Toto was on his way back to his office; he left his badge access on his desk. He seemed surprised to see you there; you were far away from the Williams' grounds. So you are forced to improvise.

—Are you looking for Sam?

—No, not really, not this time.

—Oh. Niki?

—Nope.

—Lewis?

—You.

Toto was now standing right before you with his hands in his pockets, all tall and handsome. You liked him even more when he wore his reading glasses.

You start a bit shy; Toto has a powerful presence. —I heard Miami has excellent places, and because last time I made you join me for that awful dining experience, I thought maybe we could go out and have a good time but in a better establishment.

—Tonight?

He sounds slightly judgy. You go on: —I was talking with the guys, and they mentioned "Floyd." It sounds great...

—The guys?

—Sam and Lewis, and George...

—Ooh, they sent you? Sam!

Oh boy.

—The cocktails sound goo...

—I'm not taking my drivers drinking or to a nightclub before the race or allowing it. It's ridiculous —Toto interrupts you again.

You look at him, now slightly nervous and bummed out.

—None of us is going; it's not happening —Toto adds firmly.

Yeah... He was a pro at the top of his game. Of course, he cared about discipline, mindsets, and winning races and titles; what were you thinking?!

You nod apologetically. Your eyes look a bit sad, well, because... You don't need to explain why. Just start turning around to head back and tell them the news.

—Wait! We could go to "Basement", which has a bowling alley and a DJ. But no drinking! Not even a drop for anyone; we must return to the hotel at a reasonable hour. Do you like that? That makes you happy?

—Sounds perfect to me —your smile is big and bright. Did Toto change his mind to please me?

-

To make things even, you end up bringing Millie and Mick. You wanted to make clear you weren't playing unfair tactics with your opponents. You earnestly desired to spend a good time with the people you began to care about.

The place was all for yourselves. It was a club slash bowling alley with colorful neon lights reflecting on the lanes, varying intensities and colors to the DJ's beats. It was a dope place.

Lewis invites Seb. They two took bowling seriously and had a years-long competition. They show you a list of their scores on Lewis's iPhone going back to the dark ages.

Bono also shows up, and Carlos and Lando, too, God knows how.

Lando starts stretching right in front of you, warming up, and making eye contact with you while doing his poses in a bit too sexual and exaggerated way. Samanta and you start laughing at him for acting all idiot. You two sit on the bowling benches while drinking Coke and eating popcorn.

—Every group needs a slut —you tell Lando.

—I don't think you are impressing her, man —Carlos joins, watching the spectacle, on his feet.

—It reminds me of when little children warm up before jumping into the pool —you kill Lando with your words.

—You have never seen legs like this —he tells you, overconfident. All of you laugh. —But, I will fight for your heart, malady. Is there another knight brave enough to face me in a bowling fight to the death?

—But what's the prize?! —Seb screams across all lanes.

—A NIGHT with the princess —Lando claims.

—Keep dreaming, sweetie —you reply.

—A KISS from the princess —he backtracks.

—Fine! Everyone, write your names here! —Sam takes a Post-it and a pen out of her purse - an assistant's habit - and passes them around.

—WHAT?! What are you doing?

Sam starts folding the papers and mixing them up. —The council calls Sir Hamilton to the pit!! Please choose your horse and weapon for the fight (lane and bowling ball) —Sam reads Lewis's name from the paper she picks up, and then she selects another one. —Warrior Dobrev to the fight! —cheers are heard, and Mick and Carlos pat Millie on the arm and back; Vettel massages her shoulders when she stands by her approach area. —Knight Wolff to the pit! And last but not least, Warrior Bonnington, too! —there were only five lanes. —You all brave souls are to fight buffoon Norris for a kiss of the Lady. Lord Vettel and I will oversee the combat.

—Hey! —Lando complains, pouting. Then, George starts motivating him, and they start making stupid grunts and jumps before the bowling round begins.

—The battle commences now! —Sam calls.

—You really need to stop watching House of the Dragon —you tell her.

—It's official: Bono is the worst player I have seen —Vettel interrupts, watching Bono be the first to get disqualified. —Is it okay if I leave you a second? If I don't go and bother Lewis every time to time, I get anxious —Sebastian sweetly tells you.

—Go, honey —You pat his hand and let him go. You two were watching the competition unfold together.

Lando, Lewis, and Toto were really good at it, but Millie was in a league of her own.

—How can someone so tiny have such a steady grip? —Lewis tells her she was in the lane next to his.

—Lew, I gladly would share with you all my secrets if I wasn't determined to win this —Millie replies.

—So you really want to kiss her? —he is curious, and a little smile forms on his lips.

—Look at Y/N, I wouldn't mind, but I don't want to. I think all five of us here hate losing... or love winning. Well, except for Lando, I believe he truly wants to kiss her.

"Not just him," Lewis thinks, looking in Toto's direction. After years of being teammates, he could read him like a book. It isn't just Sussie who has him shifting moods. Since you appeared, Toto began to act all weird. When Lewis noticed the looks you both exchanged, everything made sense to him.

And another fantastic strike from Lando.

Millie was almost right. Lewis loves winning and hates losing, but not when friends or feelings are in the middle. A lesson Sebastian taught him. So Lewis prepares and throws the worst shot he has ever made. His bowling ball bounces, hits the gutters, and invades the next lane, instantly disqualifying him.

Hisses and laughs fill the room. Lewis turns around, shrugs, smiles, and goes to take a seat. A minute later, he feels a thumb rubs his neck, caressing it. —Sir Hamilton, my good Sir, you sure are an honorable and respectable fellow —Sebastian tells him with his best Shakespearean voice.

—Stop talking like that, please.

—It doesn't please you how this low-grade peasant talks, good Sir?

The face Lewis gives him is priceless. Vettel laughs, and Lewis slides closer to him on the bench.

A loud "AAARGGH" comes from Lando as he dramatically throws himself to the floor. Wooff, what an awful shot.

—Luck next time, Lando! —Sam teases him as Carlos and George pass by, carrying him to the benches, one grabbing him by the legs and the other by the arms. Out of the competition, he was.

Now, it was a Dobrev vs. Wolff clash.

—Make our house name proud, niece! —Sam yells at her.

—You are having too much fun, aren't you? —you tell her.

—Sorry —Sam covers her face with her hands, monkey emoji-like. —Your knight made it to the final. Good for you, girl, but Millie is ruthless, so...

—I know! I can't watch any more. I'm too nervous! I feel like I will puke if Toto wins or if he loses.

—...she misses.

—WHAT?!

Okay, okay, this wasn't happening. Oh God. Sam turns to you and gives you a smile The Grinch will envy.

—Knight Wolff wins the battle! And takes the princess! —Sam announces. You shoot her a dead glare. —...'s kiss

Cheers are heard. Then everyone gets on their feet and starts chatting and bowling. Laughs and mocktails fill the room.

You pass Lando, still lying on the bench, on your way to get a drink. Now you need tequila in your system. —Oh, I'm so wounded! Only a kiss on the lips would heal me —he tries, offering his arms to you. The kid has the material to be an actor.

—Carlos!! Lando needs you!! —you joke back in answer, smiling at him. Lando gets on his feet in less than a second. —All good, I feel better! —he tells you, chuckling.

Toto is there when you reach the bar, sipping a whiskey on the rocks. —Not a drop of alcohol, you said? —you mock him.

—And you are here to ask for a Coke, right? —he teases you.

—A Paloma, please —you ask the bartender. —You could be a professional bowling player —Please let that become a meme, you think, and an image of a Toto in a complete bowling outfit surrounded by a group of senior citizens with white hair comes to mind.

—You picture it; that's why you are smiling.

—Nooo...

He arches an eyebrow.

—Fine. I admit it! —you sit on the bar stool next to him and rest an elbow on the bar counter, smiling like an idiot and gazing at Toto until he notices it and gets on his feet. 

—I haven't seen you play, let's go! —he tells you.

—Oh, if this really were the old ages and it was me who had to fight for your hand, consider yourself single for the rest of your life...

-

You all arrive together at the hotel and walk inside the lobby, making a lot of noise.

—Shuusshh!! Zack doesn't know I'm not in my room! —Lando whispers, looking around.

—Sure, he is hiding behind that plant, Lando. That old fart is so fucking asleep in his bed, mate! Calm down! —Vettel adds.

—Hey! You haven't kissed Toto yet —Lewis recalls and addresses you.

—Right! Give him his prize! —Mick adds.

You feel your cheeks turning red. —Are you all going to stare and make it all weird?

—YES! —everyone answers.

—You guys suck! —you complain, pretending to be annoyed at them.

—Not as much as I would like to. WHO SAID THAT?! —Millie dirty jokes, looking around.

—Millie Alexandria Dobrev! —Sam shouts, shocked. —I can't believe you...

Between giggles and two Croatians fighting in the background, you kiss Toto for the first time.

With your left hand, wrap Toto's bicep and rest your right on his chest as you reach his lips on your tiptoes. The kiss is brief, delicate, more like a brush of lips, but it is enough to make the butterflies in your stomach go wild and to still be on cloud nine when you reach your room.

-

Monaco

You were so excited to be officially living in Monaco. It was your first week there, and you had never lived on your own before. And since Sam also resided there, you spent lots of time together. You two were enjoying the break and touring the city around.

Miami went terrific, and that kiss still made rounds on your head.

Sam and you were walking in the area close to your new place when you turned the corner and were greeted by this scene: A furious Monegasque girl screaming at the top of her lungs in French words that did not sound nice at all and throwing objects out the window while a man on the street was trying to picking them up and reason with said girl. Some people were staring, and others were rushing to pass by.

—Is that Charles?! —Samanta asks you, stunned, pointing to the guy crouched and picking up what looked like a pair of Jordan's.

Yeah, that was Charles Leclerc. You two look at each other concerned and rush to help.

—Hi —Sam shouts among the screams in French.

—Oh, hey, Sam —Charles looks pretty embarrassed.

You quickly offer him the almost empty tote bag you were carrying and speed walk to grab an open, worn-out cardboard box from the greengrocery next door. The three of you start getting his things inside while avoiding getting hit by the last objects thrown out.

—Thank you —he says to you. —My girlfriend went mental.

All of you hear a loud bang and look up; she shuts the windows dramatically. "More like ex-girlfriend now" you think.

—Merde —you hear Charles say. —My keys and wallet are inside there, fuck!

You can't avoid feeling bad for the guy. He looks so done with life right now.

—Ahm, Charles, if you want to join us, we are grabbing lunch. We can grab some cocktails, too; I'll treat you guys. You seem in desperate need of alcohol and a chat.

—You're right, I need alcohol, thank you. I would love to.

The three of you walk your way to a restaurant Charles loves. It was pricey, but you agreed to let him pick the place since you were spoiling him and trying to lift his spirits.

—Huff, why are all the streets in Monaco inclined? —you complain after climbing the fourth hundred stairs of the day. —On the bright side, tho, I just need to live here to skip leg day at the gym.

Charles laughs. That's good!

The face the hostess makes when you three arrive and place the second-hand cardboard box with Charles's things on the fancy counter - clothes, some books, sneakers, a Funko Pop of Charles himself for some reason, and what looks like Xbox controllers, a man's most prized possession - makes it worth it almost losing your legs to get there.

—Good evening. Table for three? Right this way. Terrace, as usual, Mr. Leclerc? —she asks.

—Yes, please.

You are led to your table. It was a sea-inspired high-cuisine restaurant. The ceiling of the place had a breathtaking art installation: A whale made from bamboo wind chimes. —The waiter is on his way; here is the food and mixology carte —she offers you. It takes you a long time to read the entire selection.

—Ask for whatever you guys want; the check is on me. Don't hold back —you offer them.

—Great, then! It would be two spritzes instead of one, please! —Sam gestures with her fingers at the waiter, who is already taking your order. Sam seems so happy and excited; for someone who grew up that rich, she loves getting stuff for free.

—I would like a Tequila and Tonic with two tequila shots, please —you finally choose.

—A margarita and two shots of tequila for me. To start —Charles orders.

The drinks arrive quickly. At the same time, you hear everything about Charles' toxic relationship, giving him the space to spit it all out; as more alcohol makes it to the table, the more details you get.

After a good couple of hours of free therapy, high cuisine, drinks, relationship advice, and tragic love stories, it got dark.

—Well, it was a damn good chat! I'm glad we were able to help you, my friend. But we better go —Sam says to Charles. —I'm walking you back to your place —she addresses you. —I have to wake up early tomorrow. Toto wants me to join the Mercedes' Zoom call at 7 a.m., and I don't want to see his annoying, angry face at me.

The thought of an angry Toto makes you bite hard the tiny chocolate cake you are eating as dessert.

—Oh, no worries! It's just all the way down the street; I will get there without problems —you say while savoring the remains of your cake.

—Are you sure? —She inquires. You forgot how protective of you Samanta was, even if she was younger than you.

—Yeah, go, go. It's never a good idea to make an Austrian guy angry —You joke.

Charles choked on his drink, laughing. —Sweet Lord.

Sam giggles, hugs you two goodbye and waits for her Uber.

—It's late, I'll walk you. There are plenty of good hotels near your building and the marina; since I'm not going home, I need to book a room —Charles mentions.

—If you don't mind, you can crash at my place; there's not much furniture yet, but you are welcome to stay —you tell Charles. He seems relieved.

Charles sees what you meant with "not much" - just a small table with no chairs, one kitchen counter stool, a mattress in the bedroom, another on the living room floor, and some boxes, making the place look way bigger - as you two enter your apartment.

—I just got the keys —you excuse yourself.

—Oh wow, this view reminds me of my grandparents' apartment view from growing up —He reaches the balcony fast. —Oh, look, you can see the old side of Monaco from here! Good memories! —He ignores your comment, not caring much about the furniture or decor.

He seems in a better mood than before.

—Well, let me know if you need anything. Sleep well! —you say, on your way to your bedroom.

—Thank you, good night!

You hear noises outside your bedroom's open doors a few minutes later. Charles moves his mattress nearer the plug on the wall and connects the charger you lent him to his phone. With that change in the arrangement, you are both placed facing each other in different rooms and with distance in between.

Since none of you seemed able to fall asleep that night, you better keep chatting, each of you resting your back against the wall, relaxing, and him crossing his arms behind his head.

—So you are besties with Sam?

—Yes, she was one of the first people I met when I arrived in Belgium —you answer and look out of your bedroom's massive floor-to-ceiling window to the beautiful sea and the tiny-looking lights of Monaco. He stays silent, waiting for you to continue.

—So, how was growing up here? —You ask him and were sincerely curious but also want to switch the subject of conversation from you to him.

He tells many anecdotes of his childhood and buzz about some of the high society Monegasque families. He seems to enjoy gossip, and you are here for it.

Until you feel your eyes shutting down and fall asleep with the sound of his voice.

-

Two weeks later, Charles was still staying at your place; there was no furniture yet, however. By the third week, you arrive home, and all of Charles' things are filling the space. He moved "his bed" to one of the guest bedrooms and packed the living room with boxes. His piano starts serving you two at your dining "table." You always ate there, sitting, standing, taking turns: breakfast, Charles, lunch, you, etc.

He is just one box away from officially becoming your roommate. Of course, you don't mind. After many years of feeling alone, you desperately needed a friend and its company.

Charles' wireless speaker is the most significant addition to the apartment; it was never turned off, both of you being obsessive music maniacs, constantly introducing new music and artists to each other.

It is your turn to pick a song, and you want to lift the spirits while unpacking boxes and arranging things, so you turn the volume all up and hit play. Bad Bunny's "Yo perreo sola" started blasting.

You start singing and dancing to the beat, shaking it, and then Charles joins you in the chorus, singing the lyrics perfectly and throwing some great dance moves. You two start twerking.

—You know this song? Wait, you speak Spanish?! —you ask loudly, almost screaming. The music is so loud.

—My mom is Colombian. Didn't I mention that? My dad is the Monegasque one. I know my reggaeton and merengues by heart —he screams back. —I know all the good clubs in the city with this type of music, we should go and dance our asses off.

—Oh, for sure we are!

Another level of friendship is unlocked.

-

The three of you are inseparable. It is the weekend, and Charles took you and Sam on his boat sailing to an excellent spot to take a swim. Coronas, good music, sun, and fresh water fill your day.

You came up with a competition to see who jumped out of the boat the funniest way because you three were dumb. Charles wins by jumping and agitating his arms and legs like an old cartoon falling or very Gaga at the Super Bowl. Your stomach hurts from laughing, and your face from smiling.

After that, you all lay flat on your stomachs like iguanas under the sun, getting tan atop the boat; you don't remember a day nearby when you felt so happy. You felt at home with those two by your side.

-

It was around 4 a.m. and pitch black when Charles was suddenly awakened by sorrowful sounds coming from your bedroom.

He rushes and quickly opens the door, not caring to knock. He finds you crying, curled in your bed; you look like a total mess with red eyes, messy hair, and softly shaking, and Charles reacts like a headless chicken, pacing frantically around the room before getting to his senses and starting supporting a very troubled you.

—I got an idea that could help you feel better! —he tells you.

—Yeah?

—You trust me?

You nod.

—Let's go! —he offers you his hand and leads you out.

You take the lift to the basement parking lot, where Charles' Ferrari is all poorly and crocked parked outside lines of your apartment's parking spaces - that man was a great driver but terrible at parking - next to it is his powerful Ducati Panigale black motorbike is waiting for you.

Soon, you two are on his bike, crossing the streets of Monaco at full speed. Getting further away from the city and into the road. You tightly wrap your arms around him as he tells you you are entering the highway, and he begins to speed, pushing the bike's engine.

You could feel the fresh nightly ocean breeze hitting your body and entering your pores, every time more violently as you moved and Charles kept speeding up. You could see the full moon reflecting on the ocean waters. It was a clear night, with no stars in sight.

You love the rush and adrenaline of this speed ride. Charles speeds even more, and you hear the violent roar of the motor, the bike reaching its maximum. Then, in that brief moment, you get why all drivers are passionate about F1. Now you get it. Your sad tears become happy ones. You have never experienced something like this before, and it makes you feel so alive. The air feels so cold and harsh at the speed you are going that you almost feel it cutting your skin. It is a sensational feeling.

Charles then starts to slow down till he parks the bike and turns the engine off, helping you get on your feet, and you two lay on the grass after arriving at the destination.

—What a view! —you let out. The two of you are far away from the city, and you can see Monaco at the distance from the cliff you are on top of.

—This is my secret spot. I have been coming here since I was young when I felt I needed to clear my mind or wanted to escape everything. This view humbles you and calms you down at the same time —Charles confesses.

—Thanks for sharing it with me —you say to him, extremely grateful.

—It's the least I can do.

You can hear the waves hitting the cliff rock below you, and you admire the infinite ocean in front of you. The two of you sat there for a long time.

—Whenever you feel ready to talk about it. To open up about your past, who you are, or why you cried tonight, I will be here to listen —Charles offers you, breaking the comfortable silence. He is a kind and sweet person, a good person. And you aren't used to that.

He places his hand on top of yours just briefly, and you feel so happy to have a friend, to have him, no love feelings, no desire in between, just genuine friendship and honest support. 

He deserves the truth, and you want to let him know, but you are afraid of the repercussions. You don't want to get judged or, worse, to lose him.

-

Charles has been paying attention to you these past weeks and has noticed how you avoid or change subjects whenever your past or private life gets mentioned.

Every day that passes, he gets to know you more. It is just a matter of time before the truth comes out.

To be continued... - Masterlist | Next Chapter

#toto wolff x reader #toto wolff x you #toto wolff fic #toto wolff fluff #toto wolff fanfic #f1 fandom #f1 fluff #toto wolff x y/n #seasonoflovefic #toto wolff fanfiction #toto wolff #toto wolff x team principal reader #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic #mercedes fanfic #sewiss #charles leclerc x you #lewis hamilton x you #formula 1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 x female reader

[archernarbeta]

Do better

✴︎ pairing : Kyungsoo x Reader

✴︎ genre : angst, stubborn characters, yearning, sensitive-themes, idol!kyungsoo , more angst, kyungsoo is a jerk here but reader is also stubborn

✴︎ summary : In which Do Kyungsoo is reader’s best friend and he wants her to do better. 

✴︎ warning : TW disordered eating (starving habits, relapse), trauma, mild cursing.

This fanfic contains themes of disordered-eating, some taken from my own experience. However if there are any misinformations that you would like me to take down, please do let me know and I will be happy to. Lastly, in no way whatsoever I am promoting disordered-eating habits. We are beautiful, in our own ways, inside and out. Therefore, there is no need for us to change our appearances for others.

✴︎ word count : 4.1K

✴︎ author’s note : This was so fun to write honestly! I spent all my pent-up anger writing this fic… I might do a part two because clearly, this fic is unfinished (let me know if we want a part two) Anyways, enjoy! As usual any form of appreciation is very well appreciated! 

—

It’s been exactly 8 weeks since you stopped speaking with THE Do Kyungsoo. 

Yes, you meant Do Kyungsoo the idol, the talented chef, the amazing singer and also THE best friend, not to mention THE imbecile. 

Silent treatments, were a common occurrence especially with the stubbornness you both shared when it comes to giving in for the greater good. However this was the longest period of silence that you both had gone through and frankly for you, there’s no room for truce. 

The reason behind it couldn’t be more trivial. 

Three weekends before, you had gone on a blind-date with a mutual friend, both of you were set-up by one of your colleagues. The date went smoothly, he was a polite gentleman who offered to pick you up and took you home. Before the date, he asked about your food preference too, in which you appreciated the gesture. Overall, he’s an all rounder and you’re totally sure you’d like another date with him, even if both of you weren’t looking for anything serious. It was just nice to have someone to spend your weekend with. 

You were astounded to say the least, that the  very nice gentleman sent you a set of fine bone china mugs with penguins on them, your favourite animal, duh. He also sent a letter, mentioning your love for coffee and penguins and how he’d thought of you when he came across the mugs a while ago. He wished that you would use the set to enjoy your morning coffee every morning.

—

On a given Sunday, Kyungsoo was supposed to come over to your place for a playdate since you haven’t seen each other in forever. He arrived with groceries and snacks for a pasta cook-out, he always mentioned that you were always too thin and too cold for his liking–that’s why he’s always so keen to feed you delicious and nutritious meals, even though you really didn’t like eating in general. 

You both settled on the dining table with each a cup of tea in hand and a plate of cookies that he’d baked beforehand, they were oatmeal and vanilla almond- with the least amount of sugar, suited to your liking.

After a much needed catch-up session and a plate with nothing left more than cookie crumbs, you helped him prep the ingredients for his anchovy pasta. In which, you chose to casually slip the bomb of ‘I’ve met a nice guy, we had a couple of dates, he was such a gentleman, he even gave me these super cute mugs.’ 

At your narrative, Kyungsoo replied with soft hums and nods before replying, “You know y/n— I really think he might be taking advantage of you.” He nonchalantly said while stirring the fettuccine, calmly raising the pasta strands with a fork to check how they’d cook through.

“W-what? Where did that come from?” 

“Why else would he be showering you gifts like these?” He waved around the penguin mug in front of your face in an irritating manner. 

You gasp at his groundless accusation, “Soo! He’s clearly just being a nice- decent human being! How could you accuse him of such things?!” 

You were literally in disbelief. Your best friend was usually the logical one in the friendship and having him belittle a guy like this, left you perplexed. He had no reasons whatsoever to insult a stranger, more so-your date. 

The timer rang before he had a chance to reply. In his relaxed composure, he turned off the stove and strained the pasta, moving them to the pan next to it. He continued cooking for a while, mixing the fettuccine with the pan-seared anchovies and tomato. If you haven’t been friends with him for all these years, you would probably be left speechless at how he just left you mid-conversation to tend to his cooking- but here you are, still amazed at how engrossed the man is in finishing his dish before anything else. He added the last touch of basil before facing his back to the kitchen counter as he faced you with a judging look, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“Y/n… You really are gullible sometimes, huh? He gave you a set of mugs and now you’re so swooned that you’re defending him? Over me- your best friend?” He half mocked you and rolled his eyes, giving off a much less of a smirk.

“W- what?! I am not! I can’t believe you right now? Can you hear yourself and how ridiculous you’re being right now?”

“Me? Ridiculous? What’s so ridiculous about protecting a best friend from strangers she just met!?” He exclaimed, shoulders shrugging showing his indifference. 

“He- he’s not a stranger! I told you! Why can’t you be happy that I had a good date?” You sassed back.

“I’m a man and I can see right through him! He’s just a jerk wanting a hookup from you!” He raised his voice.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” You barked at his accusations.

“I got a nice date once and suddenly I’m gullible?” Anger seeping through your every word. You weren’t thinking clear anymore, all you see was red, you can feel the rage rising in the back of your head,

“You know what Soo? I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry that you’re jealous- and so fucking sorry for you because your glamorous idol life left you love deprived!”

The damage was done. You’ve said it and now you only wished you could take it back. You stopped yourself as you covered your foul mouth with regret. Your eyes were shaking as you looked at him with remorse.

He stared back at you, eyes unmoving. He was sometimes unreadable like this. It was in his character really, the unpredictability and the stealth gaze, often left you wondering what’s going on inside his head. He clicked his tongue once, enough to startle you and diverted your whole attention to him. He hummed, another habit of his. You mentally braced yourself for the storm coming. 

“Love deprived?” he darkly chuckled, your penguin mug on the counter, under his hold.

“That’s the lowest you could do?” His smirk wiped away from his face as he gave a flat expression while pushing the mug away from the counter with force.

The scene flashed before your eyes, the penguin-faced mug hitting the floor, the clashing sound of china in contact with the marble floor rang through your ears. You gasp in shock as the mug shattered in pieces and there was nothing you could do but stare at the once cute cup.

You had your mouth hanging open- speechless, unaware that you were shaking. The crime scene unveiling in front of you left you appalled and you wondered if this person is the best friend you’ve always known your whole life. 

“Shame. You could’ve done better Y/n,” he pauses, “Maybe you’ll realise that you have better options than Mr. Penguin Mugs.”

Your body kept shuddering as you tried to gain composure,

“Get out.” You trembled.

“Two can play a game, Y/n” His voice taunting yet his face stoic, staring at you.

“Out!” you screamed at him 

So much emotions were whirring inside of you that your eyes water. Anger? Yes, a lot of rage was brewing in you but disappointment and sadness was an understatement.

“WHO the hell are you and what have you done to Kyungsoo!” Your sudden voice must’ve taken him by surprise as his eyes were back to normal, you walked up to him hitting his chest with little to no energy,

“I don’t want a fucking asshole as a friend! You’re not welcome here!”

If you were angry seconds ago, now you feel like crying.

“Leave!” as you pointed at the door, gesturing him to leave.

Kyungsoo bent down to pick up remnants of the penguins face, slowly placing them on the counter, like it could change a thing.

His next action took you by surprise as he scooped the rest of the broken china with bare hands to throw the shards to the nearest bin, hurting himself in the process. You found that a bit later though, when a drop of blood stain was evident on the lid of your trash can. 

He exhaled a breath, “Eat. Do not skip meals. Don’t be stupid. Call me when you stop being foolish.” 

You wordlessly trembled, standing with no more energy in your figure as he exited your apartment.

—

Ever since the messy encounter with him 8 weeks ago, a lot had changed. 

You stopped contacting Mr. Penguin Mugs a week after your fight with Kyungsoo, you just didn’t have the heart to deal with the lovely man and it broke your heart (a little) that you threw away the chance to be with a nice guy. But a certain someone did fill your thoughts during that time, a certain imbecile with heart-shaped lips that you would really like to hate.

Again, you had your fair shares of silent wars with him but this one hurts the most, or at least your pride did. You could recall his last memo of him, asking you to not skip meals but you decided that Do Kyungsoo was not the boss of you. You didn’t care, you weren’t gonna listen to him.

The fight did trigger you and even though it was childish of you to purposely skip meals, you began to refrain from eating at all. In the back of your head, you knew better than this, you were better than this, however without Kyungsoo by your side to aid you, you faltered. 

In the past years, you had a history with disordered eating. Coming from an almond-mum and a Korean all girls school, appearance was something vital to maintain, yet it resulted in you finding ridiculously dangerous ways to abstain yourself from eating.

It was a rough patch but all those years, Soo was there for you. He’d do the cooking, the persuading and the gentle praising, making sure he won’t overwhelm you. Kyungsoo might seem reserved and unreadable at times but he was full of care, too much even- to the point that you felt like a walking ‘handle-with-care’ sticker.

After you recover, you’ve managed to fix your relationship with food a bit better but there are times where the wounds would open up. You haven’t relapsed in a long time now, having to attend coaching sessions for healthy intuitive eating programs and having Soo on the sidelines to support you. 

Nevertheless, your relapse now was justified that at this point you were blinded by hurt. You were in pain and no one was there to aid you this time. 

It doesn’t take a genius to figure that the constant meal skipping would lead to fatigue, weight loss and eventually malnutrition, which is exactly what you’re suffering right now. The worse thing than losing your best friend is this, but hey you’re experiencing both of them at the same time! In your defense, you did try to get better, drinking spinach juice to try to fill the anguish hunger in your stomach, just to throw it all up again.

Honestly back then, when you experienced disordered eating, spinach juice was your holy grail that kept you full for longer hours without having to physically chew anything. Yet as your metabolism went to shambles, your body wouldn’t cooperate with any of the food you intake. 

—

Kyungsoo wasn’t doing any better. 

Seconds after he looked at your startled face and stepped foot out of your apartment, he wished time travel existed. He admits that he was an asshole but he didn’t mean to get things that far and he’d say those things to protect you even though he failed to project them in a nicer-manner (which was totally why he’s at fault, he knows this too-by the way). He wanted to apologise the next day-though he thought that giving you space would be a better option as he was scared to hurt you further. What he didn’t expect was the silence that went on for weeks. 

Kyungsoo busied himself, he had his filming schedules packed as tight as possible and he picked up projects like they were cherries on trees. Even the members were astonished when he brought up his contract to join a variety show, which was so unexpected of him.  All the time not talking to you left him confused, if he was really trying to protect you or if he was jealous of you, or your date. He tried brushing it off, but you were always on the back of his mind. He’d try figuring out how he feels about you but that would spiral in a worse direction, he didn’t have the heart to admit that he misses you, his best friend. 

—

On the sixth-week mark of your cold war, you were admitted to the hospital for severe malnutrition and extreme weight loss. Chanyeol was the one who hospitalised you.

Chanyeol—who became friends with you because of Kyungsoo–had visited you a couple times after the fight to check up on you. You wanted to turn your back on him and his hospitality but the friendly man with cute giant ears was so hard to refuse. 

Initially, Chanyeol’s visit were out of concerns due to the fight you had with Kyungsoo, but the visits became frequent when he noticed you became leaner by the day, your moves were slower and it was visible that performing simple task were difficult for you.

He tried his best to discreetly offer professional help, even though he wasn’t aware of your disordered eating history, he simply wanted to help without offending you, in which you declined politely, saying you were fine. 

That day, even with arduous attempts to conceal your weakness, your body soon gave up after opening the door for Chanyeol. Given your conditions, you had no room to refuse anymore as Chanyeol carried you to the hospital. The only thing you managed to muster before blacking out was, 

“Don’t tell Kyungsoo.”

On the week you were hospitalised, Kyungsoo was busy filming somewhere in a rural area in Japan. It was a fresh experience, a breath of fresh air for his career yet all he could think of was you. 

The eight-week mark had passed and after two weeks of being hospitalised, it was a shame that you didn’t show signs of improvement regardless of the constant IV that kept you at bay. That’s the thing with relapsing, you know this, nothing will work unless you want to get better—and you haven’t found a reason to do so.

But it was a little bit bearable when Chanyeol came in to visit, sometimes bringing other members with him to cheer you up and give you extra encouragement. You particularly love when he brings Minseok along, the older was the most well-mannered of the bunch and he just feels like an older brother. 

— 

The sliding door of your hospital ward suddenly slammed open, you instinctively diverted your attention to the door, finding a familiar figure walking in with eyes ready to shoot lasers at you. 

“W-what the fuck?” you eyed him. “Why the hell are you here? What are you doing here?”  

You were surprised at your energy to snap at the man whilst you half-sat on a hospital bed with an IV attached on your hand. And here I thought I was weak.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Why the fuck are you here?” he retorted, “I heard you’re sick but I’m surprised that your stupidity still tags along after 2 months.” he scorned, his bluntness never goes away huh?

“W-what? What did you say to me?”

“Even though we’re fighting and you’re mad you could’ve hit me instead. Yell, scream, curse at me- I couldn’t care less if you did,” he paused, “but why would you starve yourself again?”

By the tone of his voice, although you could pick up his anger- his disappointment, you really didn’t want to put down your ego. 

“I’m not here because of you, idiot. Now what are you doing here? Go away” You countered him. 

“Are you blind? As you can see I’m visiting a friend. A very sick and a stubborn one at that.” he managed to scoff at your act. You rolled your eyes, not even baffled at this point.

“No one told you to. Now, leave.” you pointed at the door.

“A little tall birdie did, he begged me to come.” he stills on the ends of the hospital bed

“Well, thanks for coming but you are really uninvited here. Please follow the door to exit.” you gave him a sarcastic smile.

“And if I won’t comply? What are you gonna do?” he taunts back. “Would you tell Chanyeol or Sehun to take me away? And why do you think they’ll comply with your request? They’re scared of me more than of Junmyeon-Hyung,” he looked around the room before focusing his eye-contact back to you.

“The only thing you could do to kick me out in your sickly state is call the nurse… that’s if, you’re willing to bear the consequence of reporting an idol?” he rambled. 

“Oh you little shit..”

“Don’t you little shit me,” he mocked back,

“You know, Chanyeol might’ve given away your conditions but he’s certainly not the one watching MY reality show for the past weeks.”

You mentally cursed.

He gave out a laugh, before continuing in a stern tone,“The only person logged in my SBS account is you. Did you miss me so badly that you liked all those clips using my account?”

“Do better, y/n.” he finished, before abruptly leaving the room. 

You were left astounded, just like the moment he exited your apartment 8 weeks ago. But this time, not long after, he came back bringing what looked like a lunchbox. He quietly sat down on the chair next to your bed while opening one of the containers, you only could stare at him in confusion. 

Do Kyungsoo was indeed unpredictable.

“Do better, eat better, y/n. So you can fight me again.” He spoke up before offering a spoonful of porridge to your mouth. You gazed at the spoon in front of you before shifting back at him. You silently refused. 

“Open up,” he said softly and you did. There was something about his voice that made you comply with his requests, like it was laced with care and concern. 

You opened your mouth and carefully swallowed his cooking. The taste wasn’t foreign to you, it was his pumpkin and sweet potato porridge. He made it for you every time you’re upset, making the dish your ultimate comfort food. After the first spoonful, you were bracing yourself for a reflux but it never came, you were able to stomach his food just fine. 

“Good girl” he praised you before handing another scoop to your mouth, asking you to have more. 

As you ate quietly, he spoke, 

“You need to do better than this y/n. You need energy to curse at me- hit me…and that’s why you need to eat to recover,” his forehead creased as he expressed his thoughts yet it didn’t stop him from feeding you every spoon. 

“It’s- It’s so frustrating you know? Looking at you like this… I-I almost lost it when Chanyeol called saying you’ve been admitted for two weeks! I was in Japan and I never wanted to pack my bags so quickly..”

“Y-you..You’re so frustrating-“ he let out a breath he unconsciously held. You could see his eyes weren’t as calm, like he had other complaints he’d like to express but he held back. With the last spoonful, he closed the container and discarding it back to the lunchbox. 

He softly muttered, “Rest well, I’ll be back tomorrow,” he gave a quick peck on the crown of your head, an action that surprised you, before leaving the ward. 

He did come back the next day and the day after that, and another day after that. He made sure that he was the first sight you see in the morning. 

This time, he brought chicken soup. Sadly, the smell didn’t react well with your body as you instantly gagged. He immediately rushed you to the bathroom, pulling your IV off in one smooth motion in the process, leaving you unscathed even with the sudden movement .

You managed to hold it in until you reached the toilet bowl. As you threw up, you helplessly cried, Kyungsoo kept still and supported your figure by the elbows. He softly grasped your hair away from you while you hurled the contents of your stomach. The action left you breathless, exhausted as tears stained your face while you slid down the bathroom floor, you really didn’t have any energy left.

You pity yourself for your relapse, it felt- disgraceful of you to do so. You hid your face with your hands as you sobbed. Fucking disgusting, you told yourself. 

Kyungsoo was distressed seeing you like this, especially the fact that he might have some contributions to your relapse, it was even more upsetting for him. He didn’t hug you, he was too much of a coward for that. So he did what he could. Kyungsoo grabbed some napkins and a glass of water outside and came back into the bathroom. He kneeled down to gently tap the hands covering your face, signalling that he’d like to see your face. You slightly look up to see a calm attentive face, care- radiating from his eyes. He wiped your tears and then your mouth, offered you a warm glass of water in which you accepted without repulse. 

Both of you stayed quiet for a while before muttering, “Let’s go back to bed.”

He helped you stand up, tucked you back in the hospital bed and called the nurse to reattach the IV he skilfully dismantled. The nurse went berserk on him when she learned of the incident. The situation was truly unpredictable but his actions could’ve seriously injured you. He mumbled his apologies as he nodded in regret while listening to the nurse’s scoldings. Not long after, she left both of you to your own devices. 

“Don’t say anything, please?” you quietly begged while looking at him. 

Today felt like your turn to burst. He nods without hesitation, firmly holding eye contact with you.

“I’m tired Soo…” you audibly exhaled, tears welled on your already puffed eyes.

You took your time to look at the light blue colour of the hospital blanket, then shifted your eyes to the ceiling of the ward while trying to find words to carry on the conversation. 

“I am-“ you stuttered, “f-fuck. I’m fucking tired, you know?”

You just… didn’t have the energy as your tears flowed through your hollow cheeks, dropping to your chin and eventually wetting the blanket. His eyes never left you, catching each and every of your pained expressions. 

You had lost your spark, the burning passion and gleam behind your eyes were gone. Your being felt hollow, just a soulless body- empty, dull and glum.

He despised it, the dullness in your eyes. He hated it with all his heart, knowing his efforts were meaningless since he couldn’t stop you from getting worse. He loathes the fact that this time, he was helpless when the love of his life, his best friend, his light, is giving up in front of his eyes.

“Soo…” you whispered, reaching out for his hand with sorrowful eyes. He instantly held yours, warmth emitting from his hold as he looked at you with so much care. Even intertwining hands with you broke his heart at the coldness of your touch. 

“Do better, okay?” you let go of his hand from your hold.

The wet tracks of your tears hadn’t stopped yet you managed to prop up an expressionless gaze as you stared at him. You were in pain, so was he, and you didn’t want to hurt him more.

He knew what you meant, he knew what you wanted him to do. 

He knew exactly what to do, not that he wanted to. 

He was your lifeline, a drug to salvation- You needed to heal without him. 

He didn’t understand, he had so many questions formulating in his head but he knew better than to pry. He was hurt but prying meant hurting you further, which was the last thing he’d do.

He stood up, kissed your cheeks, stroked your hair and pecked the crown of your head one last time before heading out to the door. 

He slammed the sliding door hard, hopefully to let you know how wrong of you to ask him to leave. But he never looked back, because he was too much of a coward for that.

—

a/n: should we do a part 2 ??

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[emotionalcadaver]

Part 4: Scabbed Over

Fandom: Dunkirk

Pairing: Shivering Soldier x OC

Summary: For the first time in years, Daisy returns to her hometown.

Word Count: 4,545

Notes: Warnings for depictions of PTSD and references to past eating disorder, past cheating, and past abuse. Henry Wilson is the name for the Shivering Soldier created by the lovely people over @henry-wilson.    

Masterlists: Main • Series

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The delicate China clinked softly as Daisy balanced the two saucers holding the teacups in her palms, carrying them with intense care from the kitchen back into the living room.

“Thanks, Dais,” Violet said, taking the cup of tea from her, sipping at it lightly. Sinking into the spot next to her little sister on the couch, Daisy took a gulp from her own teacup, thankful for the comforting warmth that the tea brought. 

Violet had arrived in an hour or so ago from the train station, having gotten settled enough for them to begin to chat.

“How’s the wedding planning coming along?” she asked. Violet sighed heavily.

“Stressful. Mum’s been driving me insane. I got told off the other day because she didn’t like the flower arrangements I chose. And then there was all this drama between two of my bridesmaids last week…honestly, I’m thankful to have gotten away for a little while.”

“I bet.”

“Speaking of which…”

Sighing, she set down her teacup on the table. “Vi…”

“I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, but it really would mean the world to both me and Mickey if you came.”

“You do realize if I come you’re running the risk of the mother of the bride chasing the sister of the bride around with a broomstick, right?”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Violet hesitated. “I think.”

Daisy looked at her sister’s big, pleading eyes and sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.”

“How’s Dad?” she asked finally, after a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever. As it always did whenever they approached the awkward subject of discussing their parents.

“Oh, fine. Getting slow. His knees have been acting up,” Violet took another sip of her tea. “I keep trying to get him to go to the doctor about it, but he’s so stubborn,” she shot another look Daisy’s way. “He misses you.”

“Mm,” she picked up her tea again to take a deep drink so that she wouldn’t have to answer. “I thought that we could just go to the pub for dinner. I invited Henry to come join us. I hope that’s okay.”

Violet’s eyes glimmered to life excitedly. “Not at all! I can’t wait to meet him, after everything that you’ve told me,” she shook her head. “I still can’t believe that you met on that boat you took out with the Dawsons during the evacuation. That is so romantic.”

She wanted to tell her sister that it really wasn’t. That the whole experience had been terrifying and by the end she’d been covered in sweat and oil and surrounded by dead-eyed, terrified men, with her friend dead below the deck. But she kept her mouth shut.

“Look, Vi, he can be quite…shy and skittish, so please–”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be nice,” Violet raised an eyebrow, lips pressing into a smile.

“What?”

“Your face changes when you talk about him,” she said, grinning. Daisy groaned, lifting her teacup back to her lips.

“Shut up.”

∗ ∗ ∗ 

A twinge of anxiousness clenched in his chest as the pub came into view. Daisy had said that her sister was nice and easy going, if a little overenthusiastic at times. He hoped with queasy nervousness that things went well. Violet was the only member of Daisy’s family that he knew of with whom she had a truly positive relationship. He wanted to make a good impression on her.

He spotted them in a booth near the back of the pub. Daisy waved to him when she spotted him, and the woman beside her looked him up and down, assessing, as he approached, leaning over to whisper something into Daisy’s ear that had her rolling her eyes.  

Violet looked a lot like Daisy. Which shouldn’t have really been all that surprising; they were sisters after all. But it still caught him off guard. They had the same brown hair and hazel eyes, but Violet’s hair was longer, her face more oval where Daisy’s was more rounded.

He shook her extended hand nervously in greeting, sliding into the booth to sit beside Daisy. Violet was nice enough, if a bit overexcited about everything.

There was a shock of panic that spread through him when Daisy murmured something about needing the ladies’ room, sliding out of the booth before he had time to fully process that she was leaving. For a moment he stared at Violet a little like a deer caught in headlights, unsure of what to say.

“It really is nice to meet you,” he said timidly. Violet smiled at him, taking a sip of her drink.

“Likewise. I’m glad that Daisy has someone. And that you can look out for her. I worry about her, down here all on her own, you know?”

“Oh, um, it’s no problem.”

“She mentioned that you were a soldier?”

His shoulders tensed at the mention, looking down at his hands. “Yeah. Was discharged after Dunkirk.”

“My Mickey was discharged after he took a helping of shrapnel to the leg. He has to walk with a cane now,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry, for whatever it was that you had to go through.”

“Thank you. I’m…sorry about your fiancé.”

Violet shrugged. “I don’t mind. I didn’t fall in love with him for his mobility,” she cracked a bitter grin. “The only one who seems to care at all is Mum. She keeps telling me that I deserve better than a cripple,” she shook her head, a shot of anger twisting her features, but only for a second. “I told her that if she wanted an invitation to the wedding, she needed to cut it out with that type of talk, but I can still tell that she’s thinking it.”

“Your mum sounds like a real piece of work.”

“Ah. So Daisy’s already told you about her. Yeah, she is. If it weren’t for Dad, I probably would have moved away too. Or at least put a little more distance between myself and her,” she picked at her salad, eyes glancing over the plates of food on the table. Chewing slowly, her brows furrowed together, gaze faraway like she was remembering some distant memory. “Has she been eating alright?”

“What?”

“Daisy. Has she been eating alright?”

“Oh,” another wave of awkwardness washed over him. After Daisy had told him about her past issues with food when she was a teenager, he’d made a silent mental note to keep an eye on how she was eating. He’d never really noticed anything out of the ordinary. “I-yes?”

“Good,” Violet nodded, looking back down at her salad. “I always worry so much about her…”

He opened his mouth to say speak, but before he could get the words out, Daisy was sliding into the spot beside him again, smiling at them both as she picked up her burger and took a bite from it. Her side brushed slightly against his where they were squeezed in next to each other. Warm. And when she giggled at something Violet had said, the way that her entire face lit up and her nose scrunched slightly made him want to wrap an arm around her waist and press his lips into her hair.

Clearing his throat roughly, he glanced quickly back at his food. Before his mind could get away from him.

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“Henry seems nice,” Violet commented, grunting as she adjusted her grip on her suitcase. “I like him.”   

“I’m glad,” Daisy murmured, Violet shot her a look and she rolled her eyes. “What?”

Her little sister grinned. “He’s handsome.”

“Vi–”

“Relax, I’m happy for you,” Violet grinned. “You really will think about it? Coming for the wedding?”

Daisy sighed. “Yeah, I will.”

Her little sister beamed, throwing her arms around Daisy’s shoulders and squeezing her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Ring me as soon as you know.”

“I will. Call me when you get it?”

“Will do. Love you.” 

“Love you too, Vi.”

She watched as her sister boarded the train, waving as it pulled out of the station and began to chug away. Hands in her pockets, she turned on her heel, listening to the little clicks of her shoes against the cobblestones as she walked the short way home. Ghost greeted her at the door with a wagging tail and happy yips.

“Where’s Henry, boy?” she asked, following the dog to the backyard, where Henry was kneeling in the garden. “Hey.”

He looked up. “Hi,” tugging off his gloves, he rose, brushing soft dirt from his pants. “Violet’s train got off okay?”

“Yeah,” she sat down in one of the chairs on the patio.

“What’s wrong?”

“She wants me to come up to Newport for the wedding.”

“Oh,” he inclined his head. “You’ve never gone back home.”

“No, I haven’t,” her shoulders slumped. “I want to say no, but…she’s so hopeful about me coming every time she brings it up, and after everything she’s done for me in the past…really, I should be able to suck it up and spend one weekend back there for her.”

“So what’s holding you back? Is it your mother?”

“My mother, Adam, Claudia…everyone. I don’t know how I’m going to handle all of the questions, the stares…” just the idea of it all was enough to make her heart thunder painfully in her chest. “And I’ll be going alone, on top of that,” she let out a small, self deprecating chuckle. “I can only imagine the things that everyone will be saying about me behind my back.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t go alone, then.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “You can’t mean–”

“Why not?” he shrugged. “If it’ll help make the whole thing more bearable for you, I don’t mind.”

“Henry…”

“It’s just an offer,” he strode to her, pressing a kiss into her hair. “Something to think about.”

“Okay,” she wrapped her arms around herself, leaning closer to him on instinct. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

∗ ∗ ∗ 

“Did you hear?”

“Hear what?” Adam grunted, not glancing up from his cards. A few of the other boys at the table exchanged looks.

“Daisy Preston’s back in town.” 

“Oh, shit, really? I didn’t think she’d show,” Donald said.

“She and Violet are close. If anything was gonna get her to come back down here, it would be Vi and Mickey’s wedding,” John added.

Adam swallowed, taking great care not to show too much emotion at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. “Where’s she staying?”

“Violet’s. I think Hattie and Mary ran into her when they were there for some bridesmaid’s business.”

“That true, Mary?” he asked as one of the aforementioned women stepped into the room, hauling another ice chest of beers for them.

“Is what true, Adam?”

“You saw Daisy at Violet’s?”

“Oh,” her eyes widened, just a bit. “Yeah, just briefly, though, yanno? We didn’t really get much of a chance to sit down and talk with her.”

“How’d she look?”

Mary shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. “She, uhh, she looked good, Adam.”

“Tell him the other thing, Mary. That you told me,” Donald ordered his wife. She stuttered, looking reluctant as she pressed her lips together.

“She wasn’t alone.”

“What?” Adam asked. 

“She brought some guy with her. Name’s Henry. He was a soldier at Dunkirk before he was discharged,” and then, gaze fixed down onto her shoes, she mumbled, “he was nice.”

“She’s married?”

“No. No, not married,” Mary’s cheeks turned bright red. John hooted, looking down at his cards and shaking his head while he grinned.

“I always knew she was a slut. What was he like?”

“He, um,” Mary glanced nervously at Donald. “Like I said, he was nice. Quiet. Daisy really seems to like him.”

Adam stared at one single spot on the table, jaw flexing. “Thank you, Mary.”

“Sure thing, Adam,” she mumbled, rushing from the room back to the kitchen. Adam’s finger tapped irritably against the cards in his hands. Over the years, he’d imagined what a reunion with Daisy would look like over and over again. More times than he could count.

In not one of those scenarios did she return to Newport with another man.   

∗ ∗ ∗ 

She braced her hands against the vanity, drawing in slow, deep breaths as she did her best to keep herself from the brink of having a panic attack.

“You okay, love?” Henry asked, approaching her slowly. They’d barely been in Newport for over twenty four hours, the entire goal of the weekend to get in for the wedding, then out as soon as it was done.

“Mhm.”

He moved to press himself against her back, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “You’re lying.”

“I’ll be fine,” her voice broke on the last word, greatly undercutting her argument.

“Daisy, Daisy, shh,” Henry cooed. “It’ll be okay,” he dropped his head so he was speaking directly into her ear. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“I wish that I’d just stayed home.”

“I know, I know,” he said. “But this’ll make Violet happy, right? And then we can go home. On the first train tomorrow. Just one more day. That’s all you have to do.”

She closed her eyes, nodding as he threaded his fingers through hers, squeezing. “Thank you for coming with me.”

His lips brushed her forehead. “Of course,” glancing up at them in the mirror, he smiled charmingly at their reflection. “You look beautiful.”

She blushed, scrunching in on herself, which just resulted in her leaning back further into his chest. “You’re just trying to charm me.”

“Mm,” his nose brushed along the sensitive skin of her neck. “Is it working?”

“Hm. Maybe,” she giggled, letting her head fall fully against his chest, looking up at him lazily. He pecked her lips, then took her hand.

“Let’s go. Otherwise we’ll be late.”

Still a little shaky, she linked her arm with his, allowing him to guide her down the stairs of Violet’s house and outside, down the path that led towards the little church where the ceremony would be held. Already, there was a decent amount of people gathered inside, milling around and chatting to one another. A few of them cast stares their way and Daisy fought the urge to shrink in on herself.

“That’s my dad over there in the front row,” she didn’t see her mother. Probably off tending to Violet.

“You want to go say hello?”

“Probably should.”

Henry steered them through the rows, shooting polite smiles to the few guests that they passed.

“Dad?” Daisy rested a hand on her father’s shoulder timidly. He looked up from the program and smiled.

“Daisy, you came!” he stood a little unsteadily and pulled her into a hug. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” she cleared her throat. “Dad, this is Henry.”

Her father looked her plus one over appraisingly, but with a big smile. He shook Henry’s hand enthusiastically. “Yes, yes. Violet’s already told me all about you.”

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Henry said, and she squeezed at his arm reassuringly. Of her two parents, her father was the easy one.

“Are you sitting up here with us?” her father asked. Daisy shook her head.

“No, I had Violet put us further back. I didn’t want to steal away any attention,” not to mention the thought of sitting beside her mother through the whole ceremony filled her with anxious nausea. Glancing around the church, she froze at the sight of a couple walking into the church, arm in arm. “What are Adam and Claudia doing here?” she knew for a fact that Violet hadn’t spoken much to either of them, after what they’d done. She couldn’t imagine her willingly inviting them. Her father looked down at his feet with a deep sigh.

“Your mother insisted that Vi invite them.”

“Why?”

“Something about them being practically family.”

Daisy felt her stomach turn.  

“It caused quite a row between the two of them, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Mm.”

Henry gave her a tiny tug on the arm. “We should go find our seats.”

“Yeah,” she glanced to her dad. “We’ll talk later at the reception.”

“Okay, honey.”

She could feel his sad gaze on her back as she let Henry lead her away.

“You alright?” he asked, dipping his head to murmur in her ear. They slid into their assigned pew, Daisy fiddling with her program while Henry rested his palm on her thigh.

“Yeah. I should have been prepared for it. Mum adored Adam. And she liked Claudia probably more than she ever liked me.”

Henry slipped his arm around her shoulders comfortingly, kissing the top of her head in silent encouragement.  

∗ ∗ ∗ 

He stared at her from across the pews, seated beside a handsome man with dark hair and striking blue eyes. As Adam watched, the man wrapped his arm around Daisy’s shoulders, pressing a kiss into her hair. She looked more or less the same. Round face, big hazel eyes, short brown hair. She wasn’t as skinny as she had been when they were teenagers, and where she had been bony and gaunt before, there were now soft, filled out curves. But her legs still looked strong, from what he could see of them. He wondered if she was still skating, or if after everything that had happened she’d soured towards the whole experience. She fiddled with her program, face serious and grave.

Then the man beside her said something, mumbled into her ear, and her face changed, lips pulling upwards, cheeks dimpling as she turned to look at her date, grinning at him, then giggling, smiling down at their hands as they intertwined.

Adam barely even recognized her. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

The ceremony was lovely, and went off without a hitch. And then they were all being herded outside, towards the venue where the reception would be held. Daisy continued to cling to Henry’s arm like a lifeline, as the time grew nearer and nearer to when she knew that she would have to at least say hello to her mother.

Hopefully that would be the beginning and end of it, and she wouldn’t have to speak to her much more after that. In the entranceway, there was a huge collage of pictures from both Violet and Mickey’s childhoods, all the way up to the present day. Henry nudged her, pointing to a picture.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah,” it was a photo of her and Violet as teenagers, sitting out on the porch together. It wasn’t lost on her that there weren’t any other pictures of her outside of that one. Violet must have managed to sneak it in somehow. She stared at the gaunt, frighteningly skinny girl in the photo and shivered at the memories it coaxed up. Henry squeezed her waist.

Their assigned seats were at the table with the rest of the out of towners, and she silently thanked Violet for the thought. It meant less awkward conversation, at the very least. 

“I didn’t expect your mum to look so much like you and Violet,” Henry commented, eyeing the table where the parents were seated.

“What did you expect?” she asked around a mouthful of soup.

“Honestly? Cloven hooves and horns wouldn’t have surprised me.”

She snorted, almost choking on her soup, and he shot her a conspiratorial grin. Violet came bounding over to them eventually, pulling Daisy into a strong hug that squeezed her ribs.

“I’m so, so glad you came,” Violet whispered genuinely into her ear. “Really. It means a lot.”

Daisy nodded. “Of course.”

For the most part, everything was going fine, until dinner ended and the dancing started.

“Incoming,” Henry managed to provide her with some semblance of a warning. She looked up just in time to see her mother making her way over to them, one hand holding her shawl tight around her shoulders, lips pursed and head high.

A sudden, violent wave of panic rose up in her chest, and she had to fight the urge to dive under the table or burst into tears. Oh, fuck. Fuck. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t do this–

Henry’s fingers enclosed around hers, warm and comforting, and she latched onto the sensation frantically, shifting a little closer to him, until she could feel the warmth from his chest. Safe.

“Daisy,” her mother said stiffly, coming to a stop in front of them.

“Hello, Mum.” 

Her mother’s eyes, the same shade of hazel as Daisy’s and Violet’s, slid over her, lips pressing together in disapproval. She wondered what aspect of her appearance so offended her. Was it the dress? Her hair? Her finally being at a healthy weight?

“Mum, this is Henry,” she said, hating how weak her voice had become. Her mother’s assessing gaze moved from her to Henry, looking him up and down. She didn’t offer to shake his hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Henry said politely, carefully.

“Your husband?” her mother asked plainly.

“Erm, no–”

Her mother’s jaw set in silent, cold disapproval. “I would have thought,” her mother spoke slowly, deliberately. “That of my two children, you have been the one to be married off first. Being the eldest and all.”

Daisy swallowed hard. “I’m sorry that I didn’t get your timetable,” she bit her tongue before she could say something more inflammatory. 

“I just mean…what could this one,” she gestured with a sweeping hand to Henry, “even want from you now? You’ve taken too long. You’re in your forties. That’s certainly too old to have children.”

“Actually, I don’t really think that I want–” Henry started to say.

“Quiet, boy.”

His eyes just about bugged out of his head, mouth opening to respond, but Daisy squeezed down hard on his fingers.

“Don’t talk to him like that,” she said firmly. Her mother’s brow rose. “And what I do with my life really isn’t any of your business anymore,” she turned away. “I’m here for Violet.”

A trembling anger filled her mother’s eyes. “That’s no way to talk to your mother, Daisy.”

“But you’re not my mother. Remember? That’s what you told me when you threw me out of the house all those years ago,” she shrugged. “So really, I don’t owe you shit.”

“You watch your language–”

“Henry, come on,” she grabbed him by the hand, rushing towards the doors that led to the patio outside. “Good bye, Matilda,” she said to her mother, beginning to walk away, then stopped. “And by the way, I’m not forty until next March,” beginning to walk again, she added under her breath, “you neglectful bitch.”

“Holy Jesus, how did you live with that for eighteen years?” Henry asked as soon as they were outside. “You okay?”

“Mm,” she massaged at her brow. Now that the interaction was over, she was beginning to feel shaky again. She leaned in closer to him. “Put your arms around me?”

He circled her with them, biceps flexing as he squeezed her in close. “She’s wrong, you know,” he said. Daisy nodded, closing her eyes as she settled against his chest.

“I know.”  

∗ ∗ ∗ 

When he suggested to Claudia that they approach Daisy at least to say hello, she’d looked at him like he’d just asked her to drink spoiled milk, instead returning to her drink and her friends at the bar. Adam supposed that it shouldn’t have been that surprising, considering how ugly things had gotten between her and Daisy when his side thing with Claudia had come to light.

So, he wandered over to where she was standing with her date on his own. They were eating their slices of cake, chatting animatedly about something. Daisy’s smile faded when she spotted him approaching them.

“Hi, Daisy.”

“Hullo, Adam,” she said, blinking at him, once. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

“You look good.”

“This is Henry,” she said, not acknowledging the compliment. He nodded to the man beside her, who was looking at him with apprehensive, curious blue eyes.

“Hi.”

“Hullo.”

“It’s good to see you,” he tried again with Daisy. She looked at him with an expression that told him that she knew exactly what it was he was trying to do, and was thoroughly unimpressed.

“How’s Claudia?”

He battled back a wince and forced a smile on his face. Like his marriage wasn’t a complete and total disaster. Like he and his wife didn’t hate each other’s guts. Like he didn’t regret letting Daisy slip through his fingers when he should have held onto her. “She’s good.”

“And the kids?”

“They’re fine. They’re at their grandmother’s.”

“That’s nice.”

The awkwardness between them all was so potent, it made him want to scream. “Yeah.”

The band started to play something slow and sweet. Henry rested a hand on Daisy’s shoulder, leaning in closer to her. “You want to dance?”

Adam wanted to laugh. Of course she didn’t want to dance. Daisy hated dancing. And she was shit at it too. His toes throbbed from the memory of prom night, how she’d kept stepping on them. And alright, maybe he had lost his temper a little with her, but really. If she didn’t want to get yelled at she should have learned to dance properly.

“Sure,” Daisy said, taking Henry’s hand, and Adam’s jaw just about dropped to the floor. She shot one last glance his way. “Nice to see you, Adam,” but her voice sounded rather bored, like she was indifferent to his very existence. Slumping down into a seat on the edge of the dance floor, he watched with silent befuddlement as Daisy danced with Henry. She stepped on his toes a couple of times, but where Adam expected him to display annoyance at the action, Henry just grinned, like it was some adorable little quirk, pulling her close with a hand on her waist until she laughed, cheeks turning pink as the former soldier buried his face in her neck, open and blatant in his affection for her.    

∗ ∗ ∗ 

They were sprawled out on Violet’s couch, both a little tipsy, with Daisy’s head on Henry’s chest, his hands curling through her hair. Violet and Mickey had caught a late night train to their honeymoon destination, leaving the house to Daisy and Henry for the night before they caught the early morning train back to Weymouth.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Daisy said, eyes closed as she cuddled closer to Henry’s chest. His shirt was half unbuttoned, leaving her to stroke a tentative finger along the exposed bare skin.

“Of course,” he nosed at her hair. “You ever think that you’ll be coming back after this?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Maybe for a funeral if someone died or something…but other than that, no. I don’t think so.”

“I can’t say that I blame you.”

“Mm,” she reached up to rub at his jawline. “My insane family didn’t chase you away?”

“Of course not,” he adjusted their positioning, so that he was curled in behind her, his chest pressed firmly to her back. He kissed her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

That morning, they got on the train to Weymouth. Not once did either of them look back.

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

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Masterlists: Main • Series

#shivering soldier #henry wilson #dunkirk #shivering soldier x oc #henry wilson x oc #daisy preston #daisy preston x henry wilson #daisy preston x shivering soldier #my ocs #my fanfiction #fanfiction #scabbed over

[cordeliaflyte]

Salomé

By Ai

I scissor the stem of the red carnation

and set it in a bowl of water.

It floats the way your head would,   

if I cut it off.

But what if I tore you apart   

for those afternoons

when I was fifteen

and so like a bird of paradise   

slaughtered for its feathers.   

Even my name suggested wings,   

wicker cages, flight.

Come, sit on my lap, you said.   

I felt as if I had flown there;   

I was weightless.

You were forty and married.

That she was my mother never mattered.

She was a door that opened onto me.

The three of us blended into a kind of somnolence

and musk, the musk of Sundays. Sweat and sweetness.   

That dried plum and licorice taste

always back of my tongue

and your tongue against my teeth,

then touching mine. How many times?—

I counted, but could never remember.

And when I thought we’d go on forever,

that nothing could stop us

as we fell endlessly from consciousness,

orders came: War in the north.   

Your sword, the gold epaulets,   

the uniform so brightly colored,   

so unlike war, I thought.

And your horse; how you rode out the gate.

No, how that horse danced beneath you

toward the sound of cannon fire.

I could hear it, so many leagues away.

I could see you fall, your face scarlet,

the horse dancing on without you.

And at the same moment,

Mother sighed and turned clumsily in the hammock,   

the Madeira in the thin-stemmed glass

spilled into the grass,

and I felt myself hardening to a brandy-colored wood,

my skin, a thousand strings drawn so taut   

that when I walked to the house   

I could hear music

tumbling like a waterfall of China silk   

behind me.

I took your letter from my bodice.   

Salome, I heard your voice,

little bird, fly. But I did not.

I untied the lilac ribbon at my breasts   

and lay down on your bed.

After a while, I heard Mother's footsteps,   

watched her walk to the window.   

I closed my eyes

and when I opened them

the shadow of a sword passed through my throat   

and Mother, dressed like a grenadier,

bent and kissed me on the lips.

#poetry

[scully-loves-ruthie]

Fictober Day 20

Prompt: There's only us

Fandom: The X-Files

                The thing they don’t tell you about the end of the world is that it’s so fucking quiet.  3 weeks in and there’s no sirens, no trucks shoving through the mass of cars stalled forever in the roadway.  A highway become a graveyard to consumption and capitalism.  The birds don’t offer a melody no matter how off key, and there are no heaters or air conditioning units to hum their gentle love letters into the sky.  No music thrums from the crack of a dive bar door.  No inconsiderate passerby screeching into their phone on speaker or worse yet answering a video call as they shop.  Instead the end is stillness, an uncomfortable audio of waiting.  What for isn’t really the question instead it’s what if.  What if there is a sound to be made by more than the falling concrete of an overpriced 2 bedroom with washer and dryer in unit tumbling to its final resting place. 

          Mulder hiked his pack higher up his back, it took a couple weeks, but he and Scully soon learned there was no one to fight for supplies, and worse yet no one to save.  An unholy trip to Maggie’s followed by an understated mourning at Skinner and Monica’s.  It didn’t take much after that to understand there would be no finding, no saving, no banding together to ride out the apocalypse, a ramshackle collection of misfits suited for an FX series.

          “Well,” Scully offered between breathes as they came down the sloping side of what was once a lovely single-family home with, oh look at that, lovely rose China. She stepped over it feeling somehow pained at crushing it further.  “It looks like our visit to the necromancer really paid off.”  She took a long slug of her water jug as Mulder steadied her by the elbow the rest of the way down.

          “Yeah when she said she was a genuine Laveau, can’t really say I believed her at the time.”  They both chuckled softly, Scully’s quest to garner Mulder immortality so she wouldn’t be left alone was a quirky hobby they dabbled in and never actually acknowledged as a possibility or more accurately a necessity. 

          “Well, when we get to Louisiana, we should look her up see if maybe someone else went out back with her and did the bone dance.”

          “Nah Scully, There’s only us.”  Mulder swished some water in his mouth desperate to get the taste of decaying building and aftermath out of his mouth.  He spit it ahead of them doing the fountain like when he was a kid.  “You never know though it’s a long way to walk between here and eternity. 

@fictober-event @xffictober2022 @today-in-fic

#Fictober day 20 #xfiles fanfic #my fic #fictober 2022 #i am legit feeling this one for real

[danil2005-blog1]

ALL ABOUT DRAGONS // Part 2/2

In the last part, I told you about how I learned about dragons. At the same time, the first article was devoted specifically to Western dragons, which since ancient times were considered the very embodiment of evil. Today I will talk about their eastern counterparts, who have a better reputation than their western relatives.

3. Majestic Defenders of China

At some point, I learned that in the east, dragons, unlike their western counterparts, are very respected and kind patrons of China. Which, being deities, could control various elements.

In the Eastern calendar, the dragon is one of 12 symbols. They were so revered that they were even depicted on the clothes of the Emperor.

The creators of Kung Fu Panda apparently decided to make a tribute to the dragons, given that they are often mentioned, such as the dragon scroll, the dragon warrior, the dragon master, even the dragon knight, are depicted as statues and decorations in the Jade Palace, etc. In Secrets of the Furious Five, Po tells the kids about the dragon gods that gave rise to the Viper Clan. And in the legends of awesomeness, the Viper says that Fu-Xi came from these dragons.

«Clan Viper is said to be descended from mighty dragons. Their legendary fire-breathing abilities have been transformed into powerful viper venom».

«Lord Fu-Xi is a descendant of the dragon gods».

In The Paws of Destiny, a very kind, fair and powerful Blue Dragon was shown. He is the leader of the four constellations, who, like his friends, died fighting their fallen master Jindiao.

Blue Dragon is very wise. Since he gave valuable advice more than once, which helped the children to defeat Jindiao.

«Only the energy of the source can capture such a strong being as Jindiao. [...] With the help of these forms, you will be able to open wellspring and scoop up its energy, and then pass this energy through yourself and jointly strike at Jindiao. [...] Then his soul will be thrown out of his body and dragged into spirit urn forever».

«It's not up to me and none of us to decide. Spirit Realm is a place of great power and you need even more power to get out of here, this is now your home. In time, you will be able to accept it».

«Universe has chosen you, it's your time, you have to crush Jindiao. [...] We will give you ours so that you can fight, but remember! If you are defeated here in the spirit realm, your path will be interrupted, there is only darkness outside of this world».

Blue Dragon was based on the Azure Dragon from Chinese constellation mythology, which represented the east and the wood element.

By the way, Po is also on this list. Because at the moment when Po was sleeping, he had a dream in which Jindiao attacked him, but was stopped by a yellow dragon. In episode 12, after finding himself in spirit realm, Po managed to turn into a yellow dragon, after which he went in search of Jindiao. After Po found Jindiao, a battle takes place between them, which ends with constellations using their chi and hitting Jindiao with it, who, having flown away to the mortal world, took Po with him. Once in the panda village, Po turned into a panda.

What are those dragons. […] Well, dragons don't always get along with each other. […] Well, well, it looks like it's not just about that. […] Oh yes, you are right, but you will know everything in due time.

Self-disclosure: I've always been a terrible student!

In Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight, there are also dragons in England.

In the second episode of the first season of The Dragon Knight, when Luthera talks about Klaus and Veruca, you can see in a flashback a dog and a creature suspiciously similar to a dragon with a veil on its head (obviously, this is the bride and groom). Also next to them is a pig who plays the role of a priest.

In Kung Fu Panda, dragons, as in Eastern mythology, are generally presented in a positive way. However, what was my surprise when I learned that there are exceptions to the rules.

4. Strangers among their own

When I first learned about Ke-Pa, I thought he was a very kind and noble Chinese dragon. However, at that time I could not even imagine how wrong I was.

Because Ke-Pa was actually an evil and merciless demon who ruled Valley of Peace for centuries, expelling or even killing those who entered there. Returning to his dragon form, Ke-Pa burns the Jade Palace, devastates Valley of Peace and enslaves its inhabitants. When he releases his army, the first thing he does is incite them against civilians, and then declares that he will seize the world and destroy absolutely everyone on earth. When Po returned all the demons back to their home world, Ke-Pa in a rage began to torment the panda terribly before Po shoots his qi right into the demon's mouth.

«Ooh I think you will, because otherwise I'm going to start gobbling up villagers by the claw-full».

«This is just the beginning. Soon we'll have all of China, and then; the world. We'll wipe all mortals right off this planet!»

«I swear by all that's dark and vile, this day will see the end of the Dragon Warrior».

However, there is one caveat and that is that Ke-Pa is not a dragon, at least not a real one. Yes, he is very similar to a dragon, he can fly and breathe fire, but he is not a dragon in the full sense of the word.

Ke-Pa as already mentioned is an evil demon.

«But one demon remained, the strongest, smartest and fastest of all, his name was Ke-Pa. Wanting revenge, Ke-Pa fell upon the exhausted Oogway and now the demon was ready to deliver the last deadly blow, but at that moment a real miracle happened, just as Oogway protected the Valley of Peace, Peach Tree protected Oogway. The power of heaven and earth erupted from the tree and struck down demonic essence of Ke-Pa».

This explains a lot, because demons, unlike dragons, are depicted in almost all folklore as evil and cruel creatures, Kung Fu Panda was no exception. The demons here are shown as very evil and dangerous opponents. Actually, this article is about dragons, but since I mentioned Ke-Pa, I’ll probably talk about demons as well.

Mongolian Fist Demon is a blue creature that was imprisoned in a vessel, but was accidentally released by Po and for which the demon began to wreak havoc in the village. What's even worse is that when you hit a demon, it gets bigger and stronger. However, the demon eventually shrunk and was imprisoned in a vessel, only to be released again in the end.

Xi'an is an ancient demon who fought the first Furious Five. He was defeated and imprisoned in his own sword. But after about 500 years, the sword was found and even ended up in the hands of Master Elephant, whom Xi'an took control of, but the sword was destroyed, which also killed the demon.

Yaoguai Twins are demons that have either turned into geese or possessed them. They dream of destroying the universe with the anti-chord and almost succeed, but thanks to Po, the universe was saved.

Baigujing/White Bone Demon is arguably the most evil character in the entire franchise. She is an evil demon who devoured the souls of the villagers, but was banished to the spirit realm by Sun Wukong. However, she was somehow able to contact the mortal world. So she was able to convince Shi Long that she was her friend. Turning Shi Long into a villainess, the demon forced her to do terrible things, for example, it was through the fault of Baigujing that Shi Long poisoned her foster father, the Emperor. The demon also ordered wellspring to be stolen in order to create a new body for herself, which in turn led to a terrible drought throughout China. When Baigujing gained a new body, she betrayed Shi Long and wanted to doom China to suffering. However, she did not succeed, as the red jade containing the energy of wellspring was broken, which led to the defeat of the demon.

Underworld Demons brothers Ke-Pa, who terrorized the inhabitants of the valley for centuries, until Oogway imprisoned them in the underworld. Ke-Pa, in turn, wanted to free them in order to take over the world. When he freed them, then ordered them to kill everyone in the village, and then ordered them to destroy the dragon warrior, but Po imprisoned them again in the underworld.

Yaoguai was a demon summoned by Jindiao to take the scroll with him, but was killed by Fan Tong and sent to the spirit realm, where he ate dumplings all the time and dreamed of getting out and taking revenge on Jindiao. When Po ends up at the inn of endless dumplings, he meets Yaoguai, with whom he was able to have a great conversation. However, after Po disappeared, Yaoguai became very upset and when he saw the panda again, he wanted to take revenge on him, but was struck down by Po's students. In episode 13, Yaoguai talks about his wife and his former friend Ragnar while Jindiao tries to shut up the demon and Chong.

Skinless Demons of Taoyan Province were mentioned by Shifu when he said that since he could fight these demons, he could endure Po champing.

So Ke-Pa is not a real dragon and the issue of evil Chinese dragons could be closed if the creators of Kung Fu Panda did not decide to create an animated series about the four constellations.

Of course, we are talking about Master Jindiao, who was once a respected master and teacher in the temple of the four constellations. It was he who was able to teach the four constellations what they can do. In addition, he is a dragon deity, which includes the ancestors of the Viper clan and Lord Fu-Xi. However, unfortunately, the power turned his head and he wanted to take control of wellspring, but was expelled from his body. Since then, living in the body of a vulture and doing truly terrible things in order to achieve the goal, such as stealing chi from others, harming children, even managed to take over the mind of one of them and threaten to wipe the village from the face of the earth. This and the complete lack of positive qualities makes him a really scary and dangerous opponent.

«This is the last will from the testament of the four constellations and a warning, beware of master dragon. The bestowed golden chi ruined him, he became evil. Master Dragon wants to take over wellspring. We have a chance to contain him, lose and there will be only darkness. Beware, beware of master dragon».

«Beware master dragon. Well, what does this nonsense mean. I don't know, it says so. Is Master Dragon really the enemy of the four constellations? But why? It's so cruel. From the looks of it, master dragon was driven mad by the golden chi and the lust for power, the four constellations were going to use the so-called spirit urn to imprison his evil soul».

«Master Dragon Jindiao became drunk with strength and desired wellspring. This would be my most significant mission, and I retrieved masterpiece, spirit urn to capture Jindiao's evil soul. I had to deliver it her to the four constellations. I had the honor of saving the universe, but alas, I overslept. […] Only this urn could save the universe from Jindiao. […] And about where the evil soul of Jindiao is now, I know no more than you».

It is also worth mentioning the fact that Jindiao is based on the Master Bak Mei, as well as on the yellow-earth dragon, personifying the center and element of the earth.

I also wanted to say that of course I'm not completely sure about this and I can be wrong, but the main difference between ordinary mortals and deities from demons is that the souls of mortal beings or dragon gods are green and look exactly like their bodies.

While the souls of demons outwardly resemble a red clot of energy.

In Kung Fu Panda, we were shown another evil dragon.

In The Dragon Knight, or to be more precise in episode 12 of season 2, an evil dragon was shown, which flew into the city every year to gobble up all the food and wreak havoc. His name is Nian. When Luthera was young, evil dragon Nian attacked her and tried to kill the girl, but her brother distracted the monster, giving Luthera chance to escape.

«One day Nian attacked the city. I ended up on the street alone, scared, but I knew that if I got home, I would be saved. I waited until Nian was distracted and ran, I was almost there, but I stumbled and then he just, Nian hovered right over me. I thought I was done, but. […] Look here you vile dragon, do you want more? Now you will receive. […] He took Nian away and gave me the opportunity to escape».

At night, when Po was in the city, Nian flew in and began to wreak havoc in the city, after which he flew away. The next night, he came again, but this time, Po recognized Nian's main fear, namely the fear of fireworks. When the dragon flew in again, Po and his friends were able to scare the monster away with firecrackers and red lamps.

It is also worth noting that, unlike Jindiao and Ke-Pa, who are original characters and did not exist in Chinese mythology, Nian was based on the Nian from Chinese folklore, who flew to the village every year and wreaked havoc. However, thanks to one man and his idea to scare away the Nian with red lamps, the village was saved and since then, according to legend, the new year in China has been held in honor of the deliverance from the Nian.

It is also possible that Nian of Kung Fu Panda, like Jindiao, is a dragon god.

It is also worth mentioning creatures that are not dragons, but have some similarities with them. Qilin was featured in Legends of Awesomeness. Who seemed to be a very dangerous and evil head-biting monster, when in fact he was a very kind and hospitable creature who did not know his father and was very happy when Po and Ping were reunited.

In The Paws of Destiny, Qilin was shown, which was also considered dangerous, but thanks to Fan Tong, it turned out that Qilin is a very kind and noble creature, after which Qilin and the naked mole-rats became friends. In the future, Qilin, along with naked mole-rats, helped in the fight against the White Bone Demon.

Both Qilin were based on a Chinese unicorn named Qilin.

I told you everything I think about dragons.

#kung fu panda #kfp #jindiao #ke-pa #kung fu panda: the paws of destiny #kung fu panda: legends of awesomeness #kung fu panda: the dragon knight #chinese dragon

[transboysokka]

Please tell us your tax fraud story???

IRS, I fucking know this is you….

but I’m never gonna live in the US again so sure why not, it’s not that interesting though lol

first of all when I left the US I was DROWNING in debt which I planned on continuing to pay off at first

Six figure student loans (how did they give me so much?? Parent plus. My dad made a TON of money so he got big loans for me but told me I was solely responsible for paying them back which he’s still on my ass about but he can honestly suck my dick bc he’s a terrible person and I definitely feel exploited by the government and also him for that, but I digress)

Three credit cards (how did I max out three credit cards by the age of 24? That was all my college living expenses like rent and food bc I was too mentally ill to go to school full time and also hold down a job. Another decision my dad just. Let me make)

A brand new car with the most ridiculous loan terms you’d ever heard

Yeah, planned on repaying all of that from China but that place is LOCKED DOWN and it took me forever to even figure out how to send money home (foreigners aren’t even allowed to go to the bank alone AFAIK) and so I was a week late for ONE car payment (I hadn’t sold it bc I still owed more than it was worth) and it got repossessed which is still FUCKING BONKERS

and I had other issues too with like logging into payment websites and whatever so I just said “fuck it” at that point to all my debt. My credit score was plummeting and they kept trying to take me to court but I’m never going back there anyway, and I felt fucked by the system so 🤷‍♂️

ANYWAY why am I sharing this?

Because this is the attitude I ended up developing towards The Man BEFORE tax season even came around

So tax season comes up my first year abroad. I’d filed before but had never made enough money to ever really owe anything anyway. But I looked up how to do it outside of the US because apparently Americans still owe taxes even when they live abroad which is ALSO FUCKED

Anyway I couldn’t really figure it out because I’m dumb and don’t give two shits about taxes but what I thought I understood was there’s a certain amount of money you have to make abroad in order to have to pay federal taxes, and for state taxes it depends on the state. It didn’t look like I had to pay any state taxes for Michigan so I just… didn’t file anything?

And I’ve done it like that for every year since.

It’s only now occurring to me that there probably is some sort of paperwork I should be doing each year but at this point I don’t give a fuck and I never hang onto any of my documents anyway lol

So it’s probably not tax FRAUD, there’s probably another word for it but 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

#but I DID unknowingly commit actual tax fraud my first year living in Taiwan bc my company was so sketchy and I just did what they told me. #quesTian #tian talks

[sunny6677]

Crumbled Papers

A (Hetalia) Japan x Male! Reader

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Argh.."

Shades of fear faded endlessly into Y/Ns face, like a painter using different colors on a painting. A canvas such as he appeared to be portraying anxiety, and a canvas such as he, portrayed sadness as well. Deep blue eyes stared him down from in front of him.

"Geez, dude, that fire really messed you up, huh?" Said his good friend, America. But he preferred to call him Alfred. Stress dripped down Y/Ns face, as he buried his face into the desk he and his friend had been sitting at for a while now.

"Hgrghhh.. yeah, of course it did. My house--" Y/N raised his head, "--set itself ablaze after I left a cigarette somewhere without putting it out successfully, no one would be too happy after their house basically just destroyed itself."

"Hey, dude, relax-- I was just saying." Amerida went quiet for a few seconds, as Y/N found himself alone inside his thoughts for a moment. He remembered the roaring flames that were cast all over his house, he managed to save a few things, but most were destroyed.

"Hey, don't worry, I'll do what I promised-- okay? I'll get my guys to repair your house for you." America comforted slightly in an oddly soft voice, which was odd, since usually he sounded so chipper.

Y/N sighed, "But thats gonna take a while.. where am I even gonna stay? You don't plan on making me live with you forever, do you?" Asked Y/N, sitting up straight. America froze, and thought. Then, a set of stars appeared in his eyes, like he just managed to channel them all on his own.

"Hey, I have an idea!" America sat up straight with a hero-like smile, and began to appear as if he were a teacher; curiously, YN attentively listened to what he was about to say. "Since I have that statue shit i'm supposed to be working on with France--"

America inhaled, "--, what if you stayed with Japan until your house was fixed?" Y/N didn't appear to know what to say, his mind drew a blank, as he opened his mouth to speak; "Uh.. I mean, sure, but me and that guy don't talk too much.."

"Oh, cmon!" America clasped his hands over Y/N's, Y/N flinched at his oddly gentle touch. "You and that guy would totally get along! He likes that weird sushi shit you like, is great at art, and totally kicks ass!" Sparkles of passion illuminated America's deep, ocean filled eyes of sapphire.

"I-- I mean, that sounds nice and all-- but would he even want me to move in?" Y/N tried to muster a response at his shimmering eyes of china blue, America only moved his face closer, holding on tighter this time. "Dude, that guy's as chill as Greece, I don't think he'd care whether you came or not!"

Y/N tried to think of what to say, but only gave up upon seeing his mind had no other protests. "Well, fine, if you want me to; but please make sure he's okay with it too. I don't want to seem like I'm demanding." Softly requested Y/N, setting down America's hands.

"Can do, bro!" America randomly pulled out his phone, and began to text at maximum-- no, practically light speed. It was like he was defying the physics of time; the way he was texting. Judging by the sound the phone made, it seemed he had sent his text.

For a minute, they sat still, and as America seemingly started to become bored(with how much he started to whine); a notification went off from his phone. Japan had texted back.

America took a look at his phone, and scanned his eyes all over his screen. He then rapidly stood up at an alarming rate, practically almost knocking everything in his distance over. "Guess what, broski! Japan said yes! You got a yes! Hahahaha!" America laughed pridefully.

The speech bubble from Japan said; "Oh my, that is rather unfortunate. I do not think I mind him wanting to stay if he really wants to."

A shade of blue was colored on Y/Ns canvas, he felt anxious at the sound of him living with some person he barely even spoke to for a few months or maybe even like a year. He felt jittery as America kept laughing.

What was apparent was that he wasnt all that good with people; considering the only other nation he spoke to was America himself.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Y/N picked up their paint brushes, and all his other art supplies; and stuffed them inside his suitcase. He then went up to the canvas, he was planning on painting something to distract himself from his problems, but as of now he wasn't able to.

He sadly smiled, even after everything, the canvas he owned was still well and looked brand new. Maybe he could paint a picture of himself as soon as he got to Japan's place, he hoped Japan wouldn't mind of course.

He then turned his head toward a large book on his bed; ah, of course, his journal. He hadn't written inside it in a while, yet for some reason, it felt like a treasure to him still. So, he picked it up, and stuffed it inside his suitcase too.

"You know, despite everything.." Muttered Y/N to himself, "I'm glad that the things I cherish are still around.. without my paint supplies, I'd be even more of a mess."

Y/N sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. "Well, I guess I should stop wasting time-- any minute now, America's gonna come bursting in--"

America then came bursting in, slamming the door loudly. "Hey, dude! Get ready quick because we're about to leave, and I need my daily dose of burgers!" Smiled America, Y/N was still visibly in shock from America randomly coming in.

"Um.. alright, sorry." "Nah, it's okay! Make sure not to get too ahead of yourself with that painting stuff! You were a real bummer whenever you lost your last painting." Replied America almost immediately.

"A real bummer? Well, excuse me, Mr. Hero~" Sarcastically said Y/N with a cheeky smile, zipping up their suitcase. "Am I not good enough for you?" Y/Ns eyes rolled as he smirked and prepared their suitcase.

"Eh, not really-- too artsy-fartsy, in my opinion." America responded with a cheeky grin of his own. "Pfff, what does that even mean?" Y/N crossed his arms, and gently stood up.

"Eh, don't worry too much about it-- anyway, I'll be heading out there now! Last one there is a rotten egg!" Called out America, who then proceeded to zoom out the entrance to his(Y/Ns) room.

"Ah-- hey!" Y/N chuckled as he grabbed his suitcase, and ran after America while laughing. Even with his house destroyed, America's endless optimism never ceased to amaze him.

#hetalia #japan x reader #america #japan #japan hetalia #america hetalia #y/n

[nancypullen]

Treat Yo’self

You all know that I’m a big fan of small treats.  It’s a steady diet of small delights that make for a happy life.  Sometimes those treats are homemade - veggies from the garden, blooming flowers, warm cookies from the oven. Sometimes they’re store bought - a new bottle of nail polish, a little piece of home decor, or (as is often the case for me) a bowl...or two.  If you’ve followed this blog for long (can you believe I started in 2008??) you know of my obsession   fondness for dishes.  Plates, bowls, platters, cake plates, you name it, I want it.  When we were packing up the Tennessee house and I was trying to be reasonable, I sold a lot of my dishes. I still regret it.  I don’t miss my never-used wedding china, but I miss my Fiestaware every day. I won’t purchase it again, it took up a lot of space, but it was a tough choice to make.  It came down to my beautiful Spode Blue Italian and the Fiestaware and I’d never give up my Spode. 

I mean, look at her!  Anywho, I am not in the market for sets of dishes but I still pick up a cute bowl or platter here or there.  I always know exactly where and how I’ll use it. Sometimes the piece just speaks to my soul and I know it needs to come home and live with me. That’s what happened last week. I was cruising some of my favorite Salem Instagram accounts and wishing I could live there forever, when a picture from a boutique caught my eye.  It was just a plate and the caption said that they were sorry they were out of stock but would continue to search for more.  You guys...it was love at first sight, the dish pattern I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Behold... Royal Stafford... HAUNTED HOME!

Did I squeal? Maybe.  It was probably more like a cackle. I did a quick search, knowing that I didn’t need an entire set of dishes (that would be foolish)...but perhaps one bowl for my breakfast eggs and a luncheon plate for my mid-day meal?  I’m the only one in the house who would love them, so just a couple of small pieces to bring my heart joy would be enough, right?  The answer is yes.  I found the dishes I wanted on Replacements.com.  According to Instagram women all over America are finding them at Home Goods but the closest store to me is about an hour away. You know that hurts, I love Home Goods. Anyyywayyyy, I ordered and my treasure arrived quickly. I was over the moon to see that they’re more beautiful in person than in any online photo. OH. MY. GOODNESS.

A plate and a bowl that make my heart sing!  Yesterday morning I ate my veggie eggs out of the bowl and at lunch time the plate was a perfect backdrop for tuna and celery.  Make no mistake, these are not Halloween dishes. These are every-day-put-a-smile-on-my-face dishes. I’ll be eating my eggs from that bowl in every season, guaranteed.   Maybe this seems silly to you, maybe not.  I just know that it’s the little things in my life that bring me joy. I spent $30 on something that will make me happy every day for years. That’s a heck of a deal.  So if you catch me eating Cheerios out of a witch bowl in April, mind your own business, I’m happy. Your assignment today is to place some small thing in your life that will make you happy every day. That knick-knack you wanted, an extra-cushy pillow for reading in bed, a pretty door mat that welcomes you home, whatever.  Treat yourself, you’ll be so glad that you did.  Build the nest you want to live in. I’m going to spend the rest of this afternoon painting furniture. I have big ideas. I hope that you’re doing something you enjoy too. Sending loads of love into the universe today, I hope some of it falls on you. Stay safe, stay well, treat yourself! XOXO, Nancy

[awanderingcanadian]

The Changing Face of Camping

I started writing this post back in mid June when we were just back from a short 2 night camping trip and again I was struck by how much camping has changed, in both our personal style of camping, and the ethnic and gender make up of today’s campers. I grew up camping, mainly in rented small trailers then in our own Apache hard shelled tent trailer style. As an adult I spent years, (with friends, then with my husband), tenting, moving from a cheap foamie, to coveted thermarests, and finally graduating to an inflatable queen size mattress that had to be largely inflated inside of our four season North Face tent as once inflated, it wouldn’t fit inside the door. We felt like we were camping in luxury.

Then in the autumn of 2013 the unthinkable happened: we bought a new-to-us travel trailer, and the camping world changed. Suddenly we had a fridge, a freezer, a Queen size bed, a bathroom, and a forced air heater. We poo-pooed weather as we were warm and dry! In the first few years we took some epic trips: Yellowstone/Grand Teton, down to Yosemite, over to the Calgary Stampede returning via Prince George, as well as weekend and multi-day trips locally around Vancouver Island. The trailer has saved our bacon as well, as we lived a month in it before moving to Scotland in 2017, then we lived in it for 3 months when we had to return to Canada unexpectedly. We stayed in it for a couple of months again before heading our travelling in 2019, and then COVID hit! Our house was on year 3 of a 3 year unbreakable lease to the Crown, and the good old trailer came to the rescue…for 5.5 months we resided in it. Although we’re actively now looking for a newer trailer, this grand old lady will forever have a special place in our hearts.

However, it was during the times we lived in our trailer, that we gained a new perspective. We had no idea that so many people, (employed people), were living full time in travel trailers, or motor homes. Not just retired folks who decided to sell everything and embrace the open road, but people trying to save money for a few years while they saved for a down payment. This was back in 2019, and yet today we saw some of those same people still in their RV. With property values soaring during COVID combined with interest rate hikes, those same people are even further away from their goal. It was depressing to see. Here are a few photos of our trailer as our home back in 2020…

However, we’re back on the road now, and again we’re seeing new to camping campers. During the worst of the pandemic, when travel was verboten, people who had never camped before gave it a go. We saw mainly people from Asian countries, and China, out camping for the first time. It was evident as everything was brand new, and there was a lot of discussion, (not in English), about which pole went where in an out of the box tent, as well as how to attach a propane bottle to a brand new stove. It was inspiring to see people embracing something obviously so foreign, (but if you’ve already embraced a new country so foreign to your own, then what’s a little camping challenge, right?) This current trip we’re also seeing a lot of women camping: single women, women with friends/sisters/partners. As a women who camped for many years with my girlfriends, it’s reignited memories of those fabulous trips, as well as giving me a sense of happiness watching women assert their independence at a time when so much of it is under attack in various places in the world.

Anyway, I’m happy to be back camping, (even though yesterday I towed for 10 hours due to a big accident on the I-5), and I’m happy to see new faces embracing camping, (even though it means I’m having a more difficult time getting camping spots). I think getting outdoors is good for all of us.

I would sign off “until next time”, but I know there are a few older drafts backed up here, and while I have internet, and have a day of laundry, I’ll be trying to catch up…

#awanderingcanadian #camping #roadtrip

[chinahatbeach]

Thoughts for Today

The sun is up. Earlier each day and longer in the evening. Sunrise was at 6:20 am and sunset will be at 8:02 pm. Longer days will be nice. I will miss snuggle time on the couch with the dogs but I will be able to get some hobby’s and chores done.

Yesterday was a good day except for a couple of speed bumps here or there. I helped a friend pack up the remaining items left in her mom’s house and then there is the chore of hauling those boxes out to the garage. These are the items left over from an estate sale. This is an emotional task for her. Items of her parents that meant something to them or to others is not for the faint of heart. I know this due to my parent’s passing away and yet her parents are still here, only they live in homes, not their home. Older age makes it hard for elders to live on their own sometimes. And they can only take so many items with them to the small room they have to live in.

So the packed up items are not garbage. Items have been gone thru and the garbage hauled to the dump. These things are glass wear, crafts, Christmas, dishes, China bought in Chinatown in San Francisco, pictures, and the list goes on and on. All great items to be sold in a resale store.

The things were loaded up in cars and a pickup. An unexpected downpour happened as the items went to the resale store. That store didn’t want to deal with a bit of rain on boxes. Turned away…….. not at one store but two. Painful. Painful for my friend that now must wonder what to do with the items.

I posted that if anyone had suggestions. People posted to have a “Free” sale on Facebook. That would mean more time spent dealing with stuff. It’s been boxed, done with, so over it…… and now you suggest to open up the boxes and let folks come over for how long to look at things and then what? Oh, re-box the once again left overs and take it away? This is already an emotional time and people are tired, worn thin, and just want it gone.

I remember my parent’s house. My brother’s and I went thru the house and made sure that what my mom wanted for us individually, was taken by that person. Then came the items that were for anyone and who gets what type of thing. People’s emotions came into this time and attitudes, feelings, and it wasn’t pretty. One brother didn’t care what he got and the other brother was there like a vulture. I only tried to make piece between them and go with the flow. I ended up having a garage full of stuff that took me years to let go of due to emotions and strange attachment to stuff. Stuff is just stuff, memories last forever. No one cares about a picture or a chair. Memories.

This is why I can now look at things in my house and get rid of stuff. My kid won’t understand the sentimental value of something. He’s a guy who doesn’t see the history in the items that matter to me. Oh, I keep knickknacks and dishware that matters to me. Once I’m gone, I do not want to leave a house full of stuff that will be taken to the resale store. This is why I am trying to minimize my life. It makes it easier to clean and take care of and that makes me happy. There will always be piles of books no matter what. Pictures of places I have been. Hawaii items here or there. Dog stuff. And cleaning items used for work.

I was very upset at my favorite store I go into to look for treasures. I did unload my car at the store when I was there to drop-off stuff and find out that they turned the pick-up away. Rain happens. Tears of struggle at letting go of items that made a house a home also rain down. Donations that can help others is why we donate to the local place. Yes, I donate to Goodwill if I have no other choice. Goodwill had been to have goodwill and help many people but they only help the corporate greedy. I am done with helping corporate greed. I tell folks to buy local, small farms, small businesses, and help in our community.

From this, I hope you always have a tarp to cover your truck load. Lesson learned. Understand why I speak of getting rid of stuff that just takes up room. I see too many houses that have plenty of stuff and no room for most of it. It causes anxiety and stress. I’m not picking on anyone here…… if this makes you feel guilty, well, that’s on you. I only know how it works for me. I need less stress…… more time to enjoy simple things.

Well, time to get myself together, make the bacon, and get going. I have my friends parent’s home to clean and get ready for sale.

And that’s the way it is……….

[diaryofseraph]

recap of weekend (7/31)

the way we had sex two times on friday 💀💀

so we met his mom for kbbq yesterday and i was nervous as hell, trying to swap out my coffins for some “classier” earrings (which miserably failed because i haven’t taken out the coffins in forever and they’re technically still healing). but i put on a modest-looking outfit, tried to do light makeup, and brought a giant bag of fruit as a peace offering

i was super nervous driving over and it didn’t help that they arrived sooner that we did AHHH, and when we parked, his mom called and sounded as stern/short as my aunt (which spooked me even MORE)

his brother first waved us over and i was surprised that he was more filled out/average body type than luke (who is relatively sticc-like in comparison), and he seemed nice! they have a very playful dynamic (purposefully annoying each other and stuff)

his mom was rly short! shorter than i expected! i think we might be the same height or she might be slightly shorter. but he looks exactly like his mom! she seemed pretty nice and i think it helped a lot that i could speak some chinese (she would switch over to chinese at times, but sometimes would switch back to english because luke wouldn’t understand otherwise, or in her words, “失敗” lmfao). once i called her 阿姨, she started speaking in some chinese, which i could handle! since we were put on the waiting list for gen’s, we walked over to the nearby barnes and nobles and sat down to chat.

i was thoroughly questioned in terms of my family background/origin story, and i told her a bit about medical school. it seemed like she had all her hopes and dreams pinned on the youngest going into medicine, but that’s supposed to not be happening. according to her, i’ll be made the scapegoat if he doesn’t go into medicine, so i’ll take the fall no matter what LOL. i was able to be vague enough to not pin any urgent matters on him, so hopefully that went over well.

i learned about how she had luke when she was still in college, which was why he was born in hawaii. her parents emigrated from china to burma to taiwan, and then eventually she came to the us for college. 

once we were seated at gen’s, we started ordering quite a lot. i was surprised that they ordered more unconventional stuff (e.g. gyoza + korean fried chicken -- that stuff is too filling bc of the carbs), and i was glad i could provide some input in terms of introducing rice paper (or rice noodle squares) and suggesting types of meat. 

the whole time, i was cooking quite a lot LOL. i tried serving all of them, particularly making sure to serve her first and then her youngest son. i think she took kindly to that because she reciprocated the behavior later (吃!吃! while piling more shrimp on my plate AHHH), though i gained like 5 lbs after and HAVEN”T QUITE LOST IT. it meant that i didn’t eat as much in the beginning but was left eating quite a lot at the end. it was quite funny seeing luke struggling to eat and trying to eat really slowly so he could contribute in finishing up the shrimp that his mom was swiftly peeling

his mom started ordering a lot of seafood towards the end (calamari + shrimp), and she recounted how she was super used to peeling shrimp as it was something that they used to get back in burma. as the youngest of 8 siblings (!!) she would be in charge of peeling, so she was super fast + good at it. our luck that she ordered like 8 plates of shrimp (she even had to call ppl over to remind them that we were waiting on it -- we used up the whole 1.5 hrs at gen’s) and dealt shrimp like a overzealous card dealer at a casino. it was kind of funny and endearing to see, especially as she kept forcing stuff on my plate LOL. she asked if i were a picky eater, to which i answered no -- it was nice that she said we could eat together, as she loved eating c:

i wish i were able to talk to luke’s brother more, but he was a little on the quiet side and we were sitting diagonal from each other, which made it a little hard to talk/listen as well amidst the chaos of cooking and cross talk. regardless he seemed good-natured and pretty humorous (evidenced by the way he would mess around with his brother and also the food to some extent).

one sweet moment i witnessed was seeing his mom look at his youngest brother with unbridled mirth as he was picking up a chunk of rice. i could tell she really, really loved her sons. it also made me kind of envious of the relationship she had with her kids. (and vice versa)

they even took a piece of steak home for their dog oreo, folded in a little paper napkin

at the very end we took a group photo together; i thought i was going to take the photo for them, but she was like, “girls in the middle! guys on the outside!” which made me like “AH OK” internally LOL (luke said that she might use the photo to send to relatives/friends??? OH GOD)

and then she gave me a hug at the end! and said that we should take care of each other, esp as we’re asians in the US

it seemed like it went well, overall! luke even said it was like an 8 or 9 or 10 out of 10, and she normally says “take care of my son” as opposed to what she said during our meeting, which was a stark difference. she also seemed excited to meet me, which was a good sign.

i think i made a good impression and i hope i can meet her again in the future (??) and hopefully things don’t change

[bluishorange]

ok this is the best thing I own now, I’m gonna keep it on my nightstand while I’m asleep

#spn #destiel #deancas #dean’s top 13 zepp traxx #enamel pin #etsy #it came to the US from China so it took forever

[blouisparadise]

Over the years, it has been highly requested that we make a cis girl Louis/cis boy Harry rec list, so here we are finally delivering on this! We know this isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but if it is yours, we hope you enjoy this list. Please be sure to support BLP’s rec lists by liking and reblogging the posts if you’d like us to keep making them. Happy reading!

1) Another Night to be Harry’s | Explicit | 953 words

They were so compatible, Harry and her.  It was why he always came back for more and why she let him.  Taking things beyond sex had just never happened.

2) Love Is A Riddle | Explicit | 2219 words

The one where Harry and Louis basically make a sex tape

3) Loopholes | Explicit | 2231 words

Together since high school, Harry and Louis took sacred vows of purity together as a pledge to wait until marriage. They can't have sex, but that doesn't mean they can't do other things.

4) Forever Ain't Half The Time (I Wanna Spend With You) | Explicit | 2634 words

In life, there are very few opportunities for giddy happiness and sickening anxiety to coexist within a single brain.

Over the last seven minutes, Louis has learned that waiting for a pregnancy test to develop is one of those moments.

5) Eating Soft Ice Cream, Coney Island Queen | Mature | 2646 words

Harry thinks Louis is getting herself off in the kitchen (they fuck).

6) New Best Day Of My Life | Not Rated | 2836 words

"Not m’fault you insist on going to sleep like this," he mutters- Louis isn’t sure, but she has a vague suspicion that the words would sound more like an unintelligible grumble to the untrained ear. Louis, though, is an expert in morning Harry-speak.

7) Nothing Else Can Break My Heart Like True Love | Not Rated | 3510 words

Harry leans against the door frame and can't help just looking at her. She fits in with the kitchen so perfectly, small and yet stuffed to the brim with personality. He can see her touch in their mishmash of alphabet magnets and dirty dishes in the sink, in the bowl of fruit on the table and china cat that watches over their stove. It's nothing Harry would've imagined for himself as a kid, but the way the light from the candles reflect off her dark pink silk robe and her light blue eyes, Harry is smitten all over again.

8) I Had A Bad Girl In My Room, Tats All On Her Skin | Explicit | 3542 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Written for this prompt: "Harry hands always-a-girl!louis the blunt they've been shotgunning for the past hour, flips the bill of his snapback backwards, and goes down on her til she comes twice."

9) Beside You | Explicit | 3080 words

Harry's in one direction and Louis is his busy girlfriend and they don't have much time left together until they have to go their separate ways again so they make the best of it.

10) Concerning The Moon | Explicit | 4554 words

Louis bleeds once a month. Harry just wants to make her feel good.

11) I Got a Secret That I Want to Show You | Explicit | 4752 words

'She’s not sure of the exact moment she snaps, or if that is what she would call it, more like a slow acceptance that she wants Harry between her thighs'

12) Touch My Neck And I’ll Touch Yours | Mature | 5651 words

The universe only ever works with you, never against you. Loving Harry is actual, legitimate, living proof that good things can still happen to you despite everything you've done to yourself.

13) Dress You Up in My Love | Explicit | 6646 words

Harry wraps his arms around Louis from behind, crossing them over her stomach where there's a gap between her crop top and her skirt. "I like your skirt."

Louis smiles a little. "Yeah?"

She can feel the movement as Harry nods his head. "Yeah. Your bum looks amazing all highlighted in red."

14) Sparking Up My Heart | Mature | 7541 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

What’s really throwing Louis for a loop here is how she’s literally just suddenly seeing Harry in a whole new light -- someone tall and broad and muscular and sort of really good looking, when she’s not supposed to see him like that. She’s supposed to see him as the clumsy younger boy that she got put in a band with and teases and protects from rude people and sometimes has a cuddle with before bed. Not someone who she wants to fuck her right up against a bloody wall.

15) We Are The Lucky Ones, Dear | Explicit | 8169 words

Harry and Louis were a package deal. As Louis once said, "As goes Haz, so goes my nation," or something like that. She'd been high at the time, so it was between a bunch of other shit that made no sense. The important thing was that it was the two of them against the world and nothing was going to change that. 

16) Nothing Else Will Do | Explicit | 9064 words

Louis has never had an orgasm. Harry thinks she deserves one.

17) Girl That You Love | Explicit | 13492 words

Harry and Louis break up, but it's difficult for Harry to wrap his mind around the concept of forever.

18) Can’t Get Enough | Explicit | 16337 words | Sequel

It was supposed to be a week away for Louis to have some peace and quiet.

19) A Simple Twist Of Fate | Explicit | 18380 words

Louis is a successful CEO of a book publishing company. She decides she wants to become a mother, so uses a sperm donor. That sperm donor happens to be Harry Styles, who shows up at Louis' office door a month later to interview with Louis to be her new assistant. Things get complicated.

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