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#it always makes me happy but then sad
morallyambiguous · 2 years
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how lucky we are that, even crushed under the weight of sadness & grief, we are capable of giving love and joy to other people, and they are often more than happy to give some back.
#i think abt this alot but when i realised you don't have to be happy to bring other people joy‚ it made life so much more bearable.#for the longest time i thought happiness was something you could only spark in others if you experienced it‚ too.#i'd seen that phrase—you can't love anyone until you love yourself—and internalised it. not just with love‚ but with everything else.#i didn't feel much joy‚ love was rotted over with childhood anger & hopelessness‚ home was the body i couldn't escape from.#i didn't understand what it meant to be cared for until i was 16 & things finally started getting better.#but better just meant i didn't have an excuse anymore to be miserable‚ nothing distracting me from how i felt.#it's so easy to see people in groups‚ people laughing‚ people telling jokes & see that as your goal‚ your expected‚ your norm.#the trap 'happy people want to surround themselves w/ other happy people. they want radiant people. people for whom jokes come easy.#they don’t want someone who is always sad‚ who brings the mood down.' is an easy one to fall into. it is not true.#you can be sad‚ you can feel hopeless‚ you can feel unlovable‚ but it doesn't change the fact that you are necessary & wanted.#you do not have to be happy to spread happiness to others‚ you don't need to have to feel hopeful to inspire hope in others.#you can exist as you are & people will still love you because you are not your feelings or your perception of yourself.#i'm still learning not to see my sadness as something unforgivable i have to repent for.#but it's nice to know regardless of what im feeling i have the ability to make someone feel good‚ and what's a better feeling than that?#thank u world for making humanity so wonderful & giving. kisses#text.
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berry-bread-bakery · 14 days
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HELLO and Good Morning SkyStar Nation!!!!!!! I offer a little sunset flight through clouds!!!
A different version and close ups under the cut :]
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arom-antix · 1 month
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As part of a two-part reverse bang-bang, here's some more Valentines art to which @probablytoooldforthis wrote an amazing fic, Sweets for the Sweet! Please go check it out, I promise you won't regret it, and keep your eyes peeled for the second chapter - and artwork, of course - coming out on White Day aka the 14th of March!
Also, I this is an unrendered version, the finished version will be posted within about a week's time (hopefully) since I don't have access to digital drawing at the moment YuY
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beanghostprincess · 26 days
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Sanji never celebrated his birthday when he was a kid, quite obviously. At least not in a regular way and not with his siblings. But he did visit his mom at the hospital, tried to make the best of cakes (because she always asked him to) and blew out the candles right in front of her wishing and wishing and wishing for her to get better. For them to have a happy ending. Sora always said that if he wished hard enough, it would come true.
It didn't. But Sanji knew, even at a young age, deep inside, that it wouldn't.
So he starts living with Zeff and his birthday is not something he sees worth celebrating. But the man asks him about it one day and the date March 2th is written all over his face when he tries to find an excuse to not tell him. And it's alright, he guesses, because at the end of the day Zeff isn't that big on birthdays either.
The kid has it rough on that day when it first comes, and Zeff doesn't know what to do. What to gift him. He doesn't know how kids his age behave and what they like. Especially since Sanji is not a regular kid. So for his 10th birthday, Zeff tells him he's going to teach him how to bake a proper cake. That makes Sanji extremely happy, somehow. He is not a normal kid, but he sure is a cook. So there isn't a party or eccentric gifts, but there is cake.
Zeff starts giving him proper gifts when he turns fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Ties and suits and shoes and every pretty thing his son has mentioned he liked ever since he saw a very rich businessman walking into the Baratie dressing like that with a woman hugging his side. "It's gentleman's attire! You wouldn't get it!" and look, if the kid wants his snob suits, Zeff won't complain. They have more than enough money for shit like that.
They have a real birthday party when he turns eighteen. And he's all grown and pissed about how he could've made the cake better in his own and acting like an ungrateful brat. But he smiles. Widely and brightly and Zeff couldn't love him more.
So it's not like Sanji hates his birthday... But he doesn't tell the crew about it. He gets sad and weird and in an on and off mode. He doesn't want them to make a big deal out of it and he knows they probably will. He won't stop thinking about his mom, either. So he avoids the crew a little bit too much on that day.
And Usopp notices he's acting weird, because how could he not? Sanji has been oddly quiet and polite to everyone in a gloomy, nostalgic way. Everybody is worried and Luffy tries to cheer him up, but it only ends up bothering Sanji more, from Usopp's perspective. The sniper tries not to be clingy because he knows his boyfriend and he knows that if he's in one of his sad moods, affection will only make him sadder. So he stays next to him, but not too close. Enough to see Sanji smile now and then.
The day goes on and it's time to go to bed, but Usopp notices Sanji is still in the kitchen and decides to change his night shift with Franky because he really, really needs to stay awake to look after him. He refuses to invade his privacy and space, so he just stays close to the kitchen in case he gets out.
But curiosity killed the cat, and he's also extremely concerned. So he decides to look inside.
He sees Sanji, sitting down at the dining table with a tiny, little cupcake and a candle. He's holding a picture Usopp knows well because Sanji keeps it in a tiny treasure chest inside his locker. His mom. And he smiles apologetically. "Sorry it couldn't be a real cake, mom. I wasn't that much in the mood? But hey! I- I improved, didn't I?" Usopp can't see his face that clearly, but he knows, from the tone of his voice, that he's probably about to cry. "I wish- I wish you were here. I'm twenty-two now! You said you liked that number, right? It does look like a duck, after all."
He keeps talking, but Usopp closes the door gently without Sanji noticing. Shit.
It might not be the best idea, but Usopp decides to leave him a little thing under the door. A note wishing him a happy birthday and some flowers. The note also has a drawing of two ducks in it.
The next day, the first thing Sanji tells him when he wakes up (Usopp noticing the flowers placed on a glass vase and the edge of his note sticking out of that same treasure chest from before) is: "Hey, love, would you- Would you like to try and bake a cake with me? It'd be fun."
And Usopp couldn't smile wider even if he tried.
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canisalbus · 7 months
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Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever
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#thank you!#softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet#let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute#I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow#it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping#if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly#sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off#sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to#and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals#socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc#and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust#it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it#getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart#especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them#even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep#and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience#I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite#anonymous#answered
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lyxchen · 14 days
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The cuddliest boyfriends!! There's not a couple that is cuddlier than them <3
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dollybites · 4 months
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it’s like his presence is missing but he was never here
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agoldengalaxy · 9 months
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still thinking abt that one post about how ian never really outwardly agreed with anthony’s comments about their deteriorated friendship in the i spent a day with ian hecox video and how it’s very plausible that ian always considered anthony his friend even if anthony didn’t and i think it’s worth it to note that (at least in 2018) ian had this picture up on display in his house, despite the fact that they probably hadn’t really talked in over a year
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finncakes · 1 year
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but black is the color of my true love's hair
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thickenmyblood · 2 months
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hi maca :) do u already know when you can post chapter 20? im so sad about hiuh ending but also so excited for some happiness :( also, will it really only be 20 chapters or will you add one or two more? in any case, thanks so much for all the time and effort you put into this! I loved every second I spent reading this fic <3
hello!!! well, i was supposed to post ch20 on feb 1st . . . but that obviously did not happen. this month is the month though!!!! I'll try to make it happen before march.
about the chapter: yes, it's the last chapter ever. there will be no more. ever. honestly, I don't think you'll want another chapter after this considering the rough draft I'm working with is 250 PAGES
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biillys · 1 year
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and you— you were happy.
#top one most heartbreaking scenes in the world.......................#m#gifs#billyhargroveedit#needed a break from trying to make palette sets and Colour Specific Gifs for billy week work and somehow thought /this/ would relax me??????#now im just fucking SAD#billy hargrove#its the WAY u can see him like. fucking PHYSICALLY reacting#to when el says 'she was pretty'#like he's fighting with himself SO HARD to like.#OKAY NO LISTEN! its the way that when el ventured into his head the first time#she saw him. on the beach#with his mumma. grinning from ear to fucking ear#but surrounded with The Neil Of IT All still#like even his happiest memories where clouded with neil#so like. even when billy retreats into his head- into his HAPPY place#its STILL got neil just on the outskirts........ always still there.....always overshadowing and like. eventually taking over.#so el!!!!!!! when el fucking looks up at him!!!!!!!!! crying and begging!!!!!!!!!! she just!!!!!!!!!!!#she brings forward all those memories!!!!!!!! except she cuts neil out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! focusing on his mum!!!!!!!!!!!#highlighting every single fucking detail!!!!!!!!!! that billy can never focus on!!!!! because even his happiest memory isn't safe#and els just like!!!!!! the wave was seven feet!!! u told her it was seven feet!!! and there was sand in her shoes!!! and she was pretty!!!#she was really pretty!!!!! and you WERE HAPPY.#the way billy fucking breaks??? after she says 'she was pretty'#and then the way his face Does That and he nods along with 'she was REALLY pretty'#then the 'and you- you were Happy.' part#like#i fukcing WISH i died instead
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spookyflukey · 27 days
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full of hatred and loathing for x files lately but wanted to revisit my old zootopia au designs :)
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jollychoki · 1 year
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When we meet again (2020)
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there is a sunrise and a sunset every day, and you can choose to be there for it
choose to put yourself in the way of beauty
#was thinking about this a lot this morning#(and woulda posted it then if it woulda let me LOL)#but tbh it’s something i think about a lot anyway#‘quote’ is maybe the wrong word because i can’t find the exact phrase in the book now#so I’m kinda paraphrasing#and i know it’s not exactly this but this is how i remember it in my head and this is what i tell myself#(but it’s from Wild - Cheryl Strayed & is apparently something her mum used to say to her)#(which is a book that i looooooooove love love btw)#but it just always helps me when i’m having a bad day or feeling like things generally aren’t good#like…. idk#yesterday i had a pretty bad day#after putting soooooo much work in i felt like my exam went pretty terribly and I was SO exhausted & deflated & sad & hopeless yknow??#but then last night i was trying to think about good things that had happened or just nice things/moments - however tiny & small#and it really did help to be like ‘huh! actually maybe it’s okay’#choose to put yourself in the way of things that will make you feel better#choose to acknowledge the good as well as the bad#i guess it’s like practicing gratitude#but idk. i’m wording this so bad bc i’m so braindead rn but i just wana say that THINGS ARENT AS BAD AS THEY SEEM#even on the worst days there are stillllllll beautiful things and still moments of happiness & still so much love & still good times to come#outside of whatever is troubling you there are MOUNTAINS and SUNSETS and OCEANS & so many people who love you no matter what#and there is so much possibility for good#it won’t always suck and whatever is bothering you rn really won’t (for the most part) matter in the grand scheme of your life#things will get better#but you have to allow yourself the opportunity!!!#CHOOSE TO PUT YOURSELF IN THE WAY OF BEAUTY#rant over bc this hasn’t gone nearly as eloquently as it would have had i been able to spit it out earlier#but yeah ✨✨✨ hope the gist comes across lol#mine#my pics#ur-average-girlnextdoor
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darksunthief · 5 months
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man i hope furina gets to spend the rest of her life in peace. like nothing special just PEACE my GOD…..
hopefully she gets some cats or any pets, hopefully she gets interested in learning how to cook or bake, hopefully she gets to go on walks whenever she feels like it, hopefully she spends her time reading stories that make her happy, hopefully she truly finds peace in her normal days as a human
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blazeball · 7 months
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just like sitting here half angry and half devastated as it once again sinks in that i'll never be able to go back to when blaseball was happening and fun and beautiful
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