#it also feels cathartic

[tuiyla]

This isn’t meant to be offensive, so don’t read it that way. You are so amazingly good at analysis of the girl characters in glee, (irrespective of shipping,) that I don’t understand why anyone wants you to post about Klaine or the main male ships. There are plenty of people still in the fandom that can analyze or post about Kurt/Blaine/Klaine, and are more invested in their story than you? You should be left alone to write what you want to write about and enjoy what you prefer. Can the Klaine demander not understand that?

It's not offensive at all, don't worry. This is a note to all anons/peeps: I know tone can be hard to get across online but I actually take most things in good faith and give people the benefit of the doubt. This whole misery with shitty anons started when I assumed the best of them despite some red flags about tone and it escalated haha. So that's to say, don't worry, when I complain about tone it's really just because I've become wary of a certain type of ask and do not tolerate entitlement. Anons like yourself and others who made sure to point out they mean no offense are all good.

What's funny to me is that I never actually proclaimed myself a girls blog but rather embraced it when others assigned the label to me. The shoe more or less fits, after all, but I do think certain bad faith people have misinterpreted that to be so far from what it actually means. I still like most Glee characters and other anons have found in the past that when I get asked genuine questions about the boys I'm more than happy to engage and even be a platform for conversation, to an extent. The Klaine drama started, iirc, exactly because I was willing to engage but I guess not in the way some wanted, and they felt entitled to the contents of my blog.

But that said, you're right that my niche tends to be with the girls (if we must have a girls vs boys divide, I suppose) and I'm happy if people find what I have to say about them of interest. I love talking about them and that's why I write so much, and I suppose that genuine care is what makes it engaging. I've never denied my own biases while also welcoming basically all aspects of the fandom because I think all can be interesting to talk about. I got another anon a while back, who I never published but agreed with and they said this sense of entitlement might come from that fact, that I have indeed been known to be willing to talk about all aspects of the show. I just think certain bad apples have twisted that into something unrecognizable, to the point that I no longer feel like talking about The Boys is worth it for me if I don't have strong feelings anyway and it comes with so much baggage.

Ultimately, you're right, there are so many other blogs. I never have and never will understand where this entitlement came from, this borderline obsession with policing my blog when all they've achieved with their harassment is make me think twice before replying to any and all Klaine asks, as said above. And like you say, it's not like there isn't content out there. There are so many wonderful people so invested in their story and so ready to provide content. I suppose the anon harassment came from people thinking it was hypocritical of me that I say I like Klaine yet prefer the girls. As if I couldn't like them while having others as favourites ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As if people can only like one thing at a time, as if I'm obligated to prove I like something via daily reblogs or something. The argument is obviously flawed but that's the thing, they never really had a good point, they were just looking to be nasty for the sake of it. Imo. Sad thing to be so angry at the world, when you think of it. I cannot make it clear enough that I mean this genuinely, but I hope they heal.

So this reply kind of turned into a therapy session lol but yes, I see what you mean and I thank you for being reasonable. Unfortunately, no they cannot seem to understand that because they do not want to. I shall try my best to stop wasting time and energy on trolls and instead focus on stuff I do wanna do, like write so many things about Santana and Kitty and Brittana and Pezberry and gif and just, you know, whatever I want. Which does tend to be Glee girls stuff, but I'm hoping one day this blog and its ~audience~ can bounce back to being open to all civil discussions. If and when I get questions about The Boys, I'll be open to that, but my "unprompted" energy will stay with what I personally feel drawn to and therefore am best equipped to write about, analyse, gif, etc.

#anon #glee asks #this feels like an appropriate cap on this wild ride that was the weirdo anon drama #thanks for understanding what they don't #have a good one anon #it also feels cathartic #people really saw that i love the girls and went 'manhater???'

[uncanny-tranny]

"The only person who can save you is yourself, don't rely on anybody else!"

Actually, what has saved me is books and my favourite video game and my cats and my friends who I've shared late nights and too-early mornings with and the dew-covered grass I walked on on the way to a competition bus in ninth grade band and the sunburn that kept me out of school for days the month prior.

I understand the viewpoint of how you are ultimately the person who can save you, but don't discount that you aren't an island. You aren't meant to be your sole savior. Let others save you, too. You are worth the care and love the universe has for you.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like i understand why people say that!!! i do! i was abused and i know how hard it is to hand your heart to somebody else #but you don't have to be alone in saving yourself #i understand the cathartic feeling of climbing your way out of hell and spitting on everybody who put you there #like i dunno sometimes the way people say this just rubs me the wrong way... like we aren't supposed to be saved by others #like we aren't worthy of shared pain/joy and must keep it inside #ALSO WEAR SUNSCREEN. THAT SUNBURN GAVE ME SECOND-DEGREE BURN AND I COULDN'T WALK

[darkmacademia]

'abstract (psychopomp)' by hozier but you've pulled over on a highway while a thunderstorm is about to roll over and you're watching the cars rush past, remembering what it means to be alive

#hozier #audio edit #abstract (psychopomp) #unreal unearth #music #myaudio #darkmacademia #also i made it intentionally very Loud and A Lot bc that's what this song feels like emotionally. just like very cathartic #wait to the end for redemption #im so back babey #god the year it has BEEN thank u hozier for reminding me what catharsis feels like

[chimchiri]

The Mane 6 all going after their go to creative activity! This was directly inspired by the MLP Art/Creative Discord server we set up, since it got me wondering what each would enjoy and share of their own.

AJ making adorable little wood creatures. Rarity obviously doing some creative sketching. Pinkie doing some art - which I imagine as falling into expressionism. Fluttershy composing melodies and songs, possibly with lyrics. Rainbow doing art as well, though pure chaos and just letting out all her emotions, going for abstract until it feels right. And finally, Twilight being a writer (she will absolutely deny writing fanfiction while being completely red faced).

Also if you'd like to join the art/creative discord server @lullabyforbears and me set up, we'd love to have you! It's fun seeing everyone's wips, ideas and just chatting. You can find the invite as well as all info in my pinned post :)

#lil plug for the server because why not #I honestly love Rainbow going all ham on art #doing it with her hands or a palette knife sometimes #building a 3D surface by using enormous amounts of paint in some places #I feel like it's very cathartic for her once she lets everything out #Also I hc AJ to have maybe some miniature wooden forest in her room and she sometimes adds little creatures #Maybe she even makes a miniature version of ponyville and all her friends? #applejack #rarity #pinkie pie #fluttershy #rainbow dash #twilight sparkle #mlp #my art

[stil-lindigo]

floor _

a short comic about struggling to find yourself.

#for a lot of 2022 i felt so lost #i felt i was slipping from my identity as an artist #and outside of that i had no idea what the hell else i had to offer #also having a crisis over officially being /in/ my 20s #i feel somewhat obligated to mention i dont feel this way anymore #and making comics and poems out of my feelings feels cathartic #maybe this resonates on some level #maybe it doesnt #just know you have time #and its okay to just live mundanely #so long as youre happy #thats enough #btw i sincerely hope i dont come off as self congratulatory or like bossy with these under the cut analyses #i started them off a whim and ppl said they liked seeing them so i include them #but if its annoying i can stop #comic art #illustration #thank you for reading #as always #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics #its 10pm

[witchspeka]

It's always "Shou and Ritsu need to blow stuff up with their minds for mental health reasons" or Ritsu and Teru or even Shou and Teru!

But what about Mob? When does he get to blow stuff up with his mind for funsies? For shits and giggles? He didn't go through all of those meltdowns and character development for nothing, let him go ham on a junkyard car or something smh

I believe in Mob's narrative given right to fuck shit up sometimes

#im hungry i should do homework i should also finish all of my other drafted posts BUT I AM LAZY #ive been starting to write fic tho at least thats productive. fic thats kind of relevant to this actually hm #listen i just want more Mob content where he does smth reckless or stupid with his powers he deserves it #or just in general tbh i need more content of mob being kinda mean or having arguments with ppl like to a healthy degree ok #but i still want him to. yanno. lash out and stuff. experience emotion. have him get angry over petty stuff #the first mp100 fic ive ever started writing/drafting had mob and ritsu having a proper fight post canon #i just need it for my OWN mental health. let them have dumb sibling fights and have mob express his annoyances #itd be funny and cathartic. for me at least. ill finish that shit one day its been assembled and disassembled but ill figure it out #eventually #let mob feel and express all of the ugly emotions he didnt allow himself to acknowledge for years pls #its my favourite thing #anyway. #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #cine te a intrebat

[cerise-on-top]

Can I request the fluff alphabet for Nikolai or Soap? So happy to hear you’re doing well, always look forward to your writing!

Hey there! Of course you can! And thank you! Glad to hear you enjoy my writing!

Fluff Alphabet for Soap

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Soap definitely loves being out and about, so he’d love nothing more than to go outside with you and just do things there. It doesn’t even need to be anything terrific like hiking on top of a mountain, a walk in the park suffices for him as well. As long as he gets to spend time with you he’s all game. Though, beware: He will likely be touching you in some way the entire time. If it’s raining outside or the weather is bad otherwise then he’ll opt for cuddling on the bed or couch with you. He’s a touchy guy, the only time he’ll let up is when you need to use the bathroom. But even then he’ll whine to no end.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He knows that he can’t be home for too long, so he definitely admires your patience with him. It takes quite a lot of it to date a soldier. Another thing he admires about you would be your loyalty and trust in him. He’s abroad for months at a time, but you don’t question his intentions, believing that he’ll stay with you. And that he will. Soap wouldn’t betray that trust. You don’t message him every time you’re being insecure about your relationship because there’s no need to be. Soap makes sure you feel loved and that you’re the only one.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He’d go about it in the same way he’d prefer to be handled during tough times. He, too, can be a patient man and will listen to your every woe, should you want to tell him about it. Although he may not have the best advice for everything, he’ll certainly try. If you want your favorite dish, he’ll cook it for you. If you just want to cry on his shoulder, he’ll let you while he holds you.

If you’re having a panic attack then he’d try to calm you down immediately, getting you away from whatever might be causing you even more distress. He’s learned a thing or two about calming down, so he’d just talk to you, distracting you from it all until you feel better. This guy has plenty of stories to tell, funny ones too. He’ll calmly talk to you, trying to not have his accent be as thick as it usually may be either so you can understand him.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He’s a more traditional man, so I can see him wanting to get married to you eventually. He dreams of the day he gets down on one knee, pulling out the little box with the ring in it and asking you the big question. Afterwards he’d love to have a dog with you. A rather big one as well, like a St. Bernard or a German Shepherd. Soap loves picturing the kind of future where his dog will lie on top of you while you try to get it off and complain to him about him taking pictures of it. He may love being a soldier, but he adores you and would do anything for you.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He believes himself to be more dominant than he actually is. Sure, he can take on the role of being the more dominant person among the two of you, but he will step back as well if he needs to, or wants to. When it comes to your well-being, though, that’s when he’ll get very aggressive. Someone sleazebag is flirting with you? Soap’s won against plenty of people, so this fucker will be no exception. However, he can appreciate a suggestion you have made as well and will follow directions. Sometimes he does like letting you take the reigns as well, though.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

It’s not very hard to annoy him, even if he can hold himself back usually. But when it all gets too much he’ll get a bit louder for a moment before going quiet. He’ll be passive aggressive the entire time, even if he won’t outright insult you. He knows when emotions are appropriate, so he can control them 80% of the time. Won’t insult you, won’t yell at you either, but he will hiss at you. Give him some time to cool down and think it all over and he’ll forgive and forget. If he’s in the wrong he’ll apologize, if you’re in the wrong he won’t forget as easily without an apology, but he’ll forgive.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Yes, he’s very aware of what you’re doing for him. It’s not a given that someone as wonderful as you stays with him, even less so that you do what you do for him. He’s very grateful and will show such as well. Gives you chocolates and flowers, will take you on dates and outings, will do whatever he can to pay those favors back as well. He loves you and you should know that, so he will cling to you like a koala. Either that or he’ll help you with the chores when he’s not as tired anymore after deployment. Either way, you won’t be alone with doing the chores while he’s around.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

There’s plenty of things he doesn’t tell you, actually. Sure, there are some confidential missions he can’t tell you about, so there’s always that. However, he still does have some pride, so he won’t always tell you when he’s in pain either. He can take it like a man, no need to bother you with that sort of thing. He’s also pretty good at hiding his injuries and how much pain he’s in, if it isn’t too overwhelming. But other than that he’s a pretty honest guy and will tell you just about anything. You deserve to know everything about him, but likewise he expects you to be honest and open with him as well. A relationship can only truly prosper with communication.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think you would likely be able to help him with calming down a bit and finding a purpose in life that wasn’t being a soldier. He’s always been an active guy with a knack for chemistry and weaponry, so he wanted to put that knowledge to good use. However, ever since he’s gotten with you he realized that not everything needs to be about work or war. He can definitely appreciate the smaller things with you, like receiving a flower crown from you. You make his life more worthwhile and he finally has something to look forward to that isn’t just work. He has someone to come home to, and that’s worth a lot in his eyes.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

It depends on the person stealing your attention. If it’s, say, Ghost, then he doesn’t mind as much since he knows Ghost has no ill intentions with you. But if it’s some random person then he definitely gets jealous if you spend too much time with them. Starts brooding and getting closer to you, wrapping an arm around you, maybe even kissing your cheek while he’s at it. If it was appropriate, he would growl at the person as well, trying to get them to go away. You’re his and no one else’s. Doesn’t apologize for his behavior either, if he’s jealous then he’s jealous, and that’s that. You’re more than welcome to act the same way with him as well, by the way.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s not too bad at kissing. Soap has had a few high school sweethearts, so he’s definitely kissed before and takes it easy. He wasn’t particularly stressed out about your first kiss together either and just let it happen. Although he was being cheesy and asked you to close his eyes before he kissed you. It was a gentle kiss since he wasn’t too sure if you truly liked him the way he likes you and he didn’t want to make you too uncomfortable. But when you told him you felt the same way he quickly gave you another kiss.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I don’t think he’d make too much of a fuss about it. He’d take you to a nice park on a nice day, maybe have a picnic with you and then casually ask you if you wanted to be a thing together. It’s not too bad if you say no, even if he’d be crushed, but he could just play it off and continue the picnic and be friends with you. Would love to watch the clouds go by while lying on the blanket with you. That’s also when he might confess to you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes, he definitely wants to get married. He wants nothing more than to have a spouse to come home to. With you wearing an apron, asking him if he wants dinner, a bath or you first. It’s cliched, but he’d melt if you ever called him honey. I think he’d think his proposal through, though. It’s important to him, but he still wants the day to be fun, so he might take you to an amusement park and propose to you on the ferris wheel, sincerely hoping it stops while you’re on top and can view the entire city. The marriage would be sweet, he’d be even more doting on you. Would proudly introduce you as his spouse. 

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Although they’d start out as a joke where he would mimic those embarrassingly sweet couples calling each other embarrassingly sweet things, he’d eventually take a liking to things such as pumpkin, pudding, or cutie pie. Naturally, there’s also things like babe and baby. If he can reference a stupid meme, he will. You’re also his silly little rabbit, no matter how much you dislike that nickname.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s somewhat obvious to others. Soap is much more inclined to gravitate towards you and try to spend as much time with you as possible. He likely also won’t leave you alone unless you ask him to. He becomes much more chatty with you and brags about his accomplishments as well. Might even flex for you, even if it’s cringe. You need to realize how strong and awesome he is. Also does you a lot of favors, you don’t need to repay him. See? Isn’t he just the ideal guy? Isn’t he just so dateable?

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

If it was up to him either one of you would be holding the other at any point in time. He’s not afraid to show the world you’re a thing, he will brag about you to everyone willing to listen. Even if he’s being called embarrassing, he’ll just keep on going. The world needs to know just how lovely you are, that you’re the best partner anyone could have ever asked for. Kisses you in public, hugs you in public, cuddles you in public. If you’re comfortable with it.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s a very observant guy, so he’ll almost always know what’s up just by watching you for a bit. You’re happy? You’re sad? You’re mad? Don’t worry, he can pretty accurately gauge your emotional well-being just by watching you for a bit. Does what he needs to do to either cheer you up or keep you happy afterwards.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s somewhere in the middle. While he may not be the most romantic person out there, he does dream of kissing you under the moonlight and dance with you then and there as well. When it comes to making you happy he’d do just about anything. You want a cat? You want some cuddles? You want him to kill that guy for you? Just ask for it, you’ll receive whatever you want, you’re his partner and therefore very important to him. He tries to get a bit more creative with what he gifts you and actively searches for things online. But usually he just settles for showing you Scotland. His country is important to him as well, so he hopes you can appreciate it as much as he appreciates you. He means well, he’s just very easily excited about it.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Oh, definitely. It doesn’t matter what your goal may be, he’ll do what he can to help you achieve it. You wanna work out? He’ll go to the gym with you. You wanna get better mentally? He’s there, cheering you on every step of the way. You wanna be independent? He has connections, you’ll get your dream job and dream pay, don’t even worry about it. As long as you let him help you, he will. And even if you refuse his help he will somehow weasel himself in anyway and help you out, even if you won’t ever know about it.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Although repetition can be a nice thing, he does prefer having something new every once in a while. Sometimes he wants to see another country with you, sometimes he wants to try new foods with you, sometimes he just wants to watch a new movie with you. It doesn’t always need to be the most exciting thing with you, even the small things suffice, but he needs something new. The same routine every time bores him to death and annoys him as well. Again, something small will suffice for some time, but then it’s definitely time for a vacation away from it all.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He likes to think he knows you quite well by now. He can remember things very well too, so if you ever mention a fun fact about yourself, chances are he’ll remember it forever. If you ever want something, no matter how small it is, Soap will remember and you’ll get it eventually. He’s also an empathetic person. He sees you and feels what you’re feeling, at least to some degree. Probably not with the same intensity that you do, but he tries to understand you. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship with you is very important to him, as important as his friendship with Ghost, Gaz and Price. The four of you are the most important people in his life, along with his family, and he’d do anything to keep you safe and happy. He does hope that you can get along with the other three as well, though.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Has probably tried to serenade you before. His voice is by no means bad, but it’s his accent that makes you giggle. He does lay it on extra thick as well when singing I’m Gonna Be just to hear you laugh a bit. He mostly just sings to you to hear your giggles and see you smile, but he does like singing and whistling to himself when he’s alone.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yes. Soap loves nothing more than holding you close whenever he can, especially if you haven’t seen each other in months. When he’s tired you can be certain he’ll be all over you the entire time until he falls asleep. And even then he has an iron grip on you so you won’t escape him. He’s a human furnace as well, so while it may be pleasant in winter, it’s hell in summer. But that’s the worst part about him, he doesn’t mind being sweaty as long as he gets to cuddle you. He’s used to being sweaty anyway, he can just shower it off, but he needs to hold you or else he’ll combust.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Whenever he can, he’ll text or call you. He knows it’s not always the time for such a thing, but he’ll do it anyway. Sometimes, he’ll call you just to hear your voice and fall asleep to it. He imagines himself doing all the domestic things to you he can’t do in the moment, it helps him fall asleep when his heart is aching for you yet again. Sometimes, when he’s just on base and not necessarily being deployed, he’ll steal a plushie from you and take it with him, cuddling it in your stead at night. It does help him sleep better.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Soap would literally kill and die for you. He has this sense of camaraderie to him, and that extends to you as well. He’d fight for you, he’d take a severe hit for you. Anything to make sure you’re alright . Soap is loyal to a fault, so even just someone looking at you the wrong way warrants a fight, in his eyes. You’d need to remind him that none of this is necessary, that you’ll be alright and then he’ll calm down. But don’t you ever think that this man won’t blow up entire buildings just to watch you smile. He’ll make his own explosives as well, if he needs to.

#cod #cod x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #This took me almost two hours to write ^^; #I think I'm just gonna do Nikolai and then only accept up to five letters at a time for a character and not do the whole thing ^^; #also this is not proofread I am too tired to proofread this right now #I'm sure it'll be alright though #I was so happy to receive a request for Soap! my brain's been Soaping as of late again! #plus I love that little stinker with all of my heart and much more! #I hope these are alright! feel free to interpret these things the way you would want as well! #I missed Soap he's such a good character I wish I could hold and cuddle him irl as well #but alas my imagination will have to do! #writing about Soap cuddles is definitely cathartic though!

[maripr]

I think John Ward deserves to break down a little at the end of FAITH bc he just destroyed the cult that groomed him since childhood and abused him and his childhood friend, he's managed to protect everyone he loves, he's realized God's been with him the entire time, he has fred all the souls that were taken hostages in the rite of the second death, and he has been forgiven by the very person he wronged. He deserves to break down a bit, after things have calmed down, as Lisa and Garcia both hold him as his falls on his knees and his shoulder shake and he holds his crucifix close like he's hugging it and he wails like a child and as the tears fall on the cross once bronze, they leave golden streak, cleansing his vision of it, cleansing his heart.

#john ward #john thomas ward #lisa pearson #father garcia #amy martin #should i also tag jesus crhist lol #faith the unholy trinity #faith the game #etc etc #big fan of characters cathartically having a good crying after going to hell and back #i love the true ending but it does go a bit too fast at the end #you've defeated the literal second in command of hell and severely held back Satan's plans to cause the end of fhe world ok cool now drive #i wouldn't let him drive tbh #aslo why choose between lisa and Garcia John has two hands #he can have platonic or romantic found family shenanigans with both depending on your interpretation while still being married to the lord #because he's technically unordained #i do wonder if garcia is also unordained after the mess wih Michael anyway #i need my blorbos to cry messy tears lf relief and joy and love sometimes ya feel me

[beefy-the-stronk]

I drew this sleep paralysis demon b/c if I don't, then who else would??

Pepperman's vs design is so underrated, I love crazy gross looking monsterous men

I mean I understand why, I can't even make eye contact with these drawings cus he's freaky lmao. But in like, a cool way

#pizza tower #pepperman #manpepper #humanoid pepperman #pepperman vs artwork #pepperman VS design #he gives me the heebie jeebies /affectionate #i love drawing super intense expressions #it's so cathartic even tho my tennis elbow hates it #i wanna take a big bite out of him #i feel like there'd be no blood #he'd just be crunchy #also yes he has weird root/veins growing in the 2nd drawings

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[nezuchuuko]

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 13, Episode 10 - Mac Finds his Pride. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

“You don’t know what’s going on inside of me.” “I mean the struggle to be who I am.” “There’s like this storm inside of me and it’s been raging my whole life, and I’m down on my knees, and I’m looking for answers, and then God comes down to me and it’s a very hot chick and she pulls me up and we start dancing.”

“Wait, wait, wait…you’re gay, but you’re dancing with a hot chick, and she’s God?”

“Yes.”

“The Catholics really fucked you up.”

#iasip #video #s13e10 #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #frank reynolds #mac mcdonald #pride month #this is such a wonderful episode #and i know there are fans out there who were disappointed because of the lack of dennis and/or the rest of the gang BUT #i genuinely believe this was the most cathartic option the show and writers could have chosen #cause just focusing on mac and frank as he tries to help mac be proud of his gay identity makes the ep feel more intimate #also i believe it HAD to be frank because frank was the trigger that eventually led to mac coming out permanently #...by calling him the f-word... #also mac and frank rarely team up if at all because of how frank struggles to understand him especially after mac came out #plus prior to this point frank in some shape or form was like the dad to everyone in the gang BUT mac... #but when mac does his interpretive dance for his father to get his father to understand him...... mac's bio dad walks away #but you can't say that mac failed per se because it was frank finally got it and it was like in that moment that frank became mac's dad too #i get so emotional ;afjlkd

[radios-arcade]

And the breath reentered his lungs And his eyes once again saw sky roots like thread sewed broken skin back together Techno's heart began to beat (what if the totem was more organic and didn't actually repair with gold)

(Below without paint shading)

#technoblade #radios doodle arcade #this was honestly very cathartic to draw #lil bit of a vent #especially since when the news passed i didn't exactly post something i was proud of #it kind of feels like the goodbye i wanted to give him #also my friend let me brainrot this idea in their dms hi missy ily

[mxtxfanatic]

In celebration of the official release of Hualian’s confession!

#I FORGOT MY POLL!!! #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #ngl these are actually all terrible lmao #i feel like bingqiu’s was the most cathartic despite sounding like the worst #like idk if we die we die i guess #whereas everyone else still had Shit To Do™️ after #also i ran out of space to add the lovely feauture of fengqing calling hua cheng’s love “’disgusting’ #under the hualian option

[caeslxys]

also on the topic of meaningful consequences re: character death I don't understand the take that death in fantasy requires physical permanency to matter or give a story "stakes". death is permanent regardless. Do you really think that if they get her back, they'll just go back to normal? That these characters are not forever fundamentally changed from this, that Laudna will not be fundamentally changed from this?

That Imogen's world will be less fractured, that she won't be even more of an anxious wreck now that what she stands to lose has been put into vivid clarity? That Orym won't still carry the guilt of being the chosen, that he will be less haunted by the connections he drew to his own grief with Will to Imogen's with Laudna? That Fearne won't look at Laudna and think of that coin flip, of her choice, and what that means for her and how she loves? That FCG and Ashton won't think to this and be reminded of the people they've hurt or been hurt by, and what this effort and what this grief means for how they view the hells?

That Laudna, who has been so blasé about life and if she's alive and what being alive even means for someone like her, won't wake up surrounded by family and by love and be driven to reexamine everything she's taught herself in 28 years of isolation to cope with the trauma of Whitestone? That this, maybe, will be the driving force she needed to realize that there are things she wants to live for?

It might be that I'm just biased, but I'm not sure what stakes Laudna perma-dying adds aside from just presenting the characters with the knowledge they all already have that they can, in fact, die. that what they're up against is incomprehensibly powerful and dangerous. The stakes already feel so impossibly high when you think of what and who they are preparing to face. frankly the aftermath of this combat alone, even if everything had gone perfect and everyone had gotten back up a-okay, would have set that tone.

I don't know, regardless I'll be happy to watch whatever story they choose to tell unfold as it does, but it strikes me that so many people seem to think that death only matters if there is a physical absence.

#critical role #laudna #bells hells #I do want to specify though that this is my own interpretation of the situation from my view as a writer of the narrative #and my own interpretation of the situation as an audience member #I know death does not care for narration in real life and that dnd can be cathartic for those very reasons #that. to me. is a separate argument from what I'm trying to say here #I also have Thoughts about how. narratively. laudna coming back is the better story for Specifically bells hells and how they operate #individually and as a unit #and how I think a lot of people are blinded by the specific way molly effected the mighty nein #and I just do not think this is the same scenario At All #and also. if I may put out a more biased take. I don't necessarily Want the same impetus and the same story Again #this is bells hells! I want theirs! and they want to bring back laudna #also. like. the whole death only matters if it's permanent thing falls apart immediately bc like. it's laudna #y'know. the undead one. is her story lesser for having lived? is vox machina's? #anyway feel free to ignore this I'm just throwing thoughts out into the wind bc if I keep them in my brain I'll implode #and Twitter has a 140 character limit and I am long-winded

[temporalhiccup]

I'm trying to write about this without getting emotional, but it's pretty hard! Hah!

But it's been officially announced so I can finally talk about it! I'm the Lead Designer (damn) on the official Tomb Raider TTRPG (double damn). Shadows of Truth has a public playtest coming up soon, and I'm excited for folks to see what we've been working on!

It's been a wild ride and a fun time, but this is also the biggest challenge I've had to face as a ttrpg designer. Like many indie folks I've drawn inspiration from the media we love (Apocalypse Keys is proudly Hellboy-inspired, among other things!) while still making it our own unique thing.

Tomb Raider has been completely different, in that I have to do my best to translate some awesome video game history into a ttrpg experience. And I gotta be as true to the source material and experience as possible, while still centering what makes ttrpgs great!

Tomb Raider is also a franchise that's been around for almost 30 years and is a HUGE DEAL. It's hard to describe how much of an impact it's made on action-adventure video games, repeatedly! Lara Croft is easily one of the most iconic characters in video games and the genre, and her Adventures include (several) dinosaurs, wild transhuman demonic Atlantean stuff, and apocalypse-inducing artifacts.

But Lara to me, especially since the 2013 game, has been a truly amazing and conflicted heroine. The last three games that grounded her and made her vulnerable, while still creating intense experiences, really hooked me. I really wanted to honor the journey of Tomb Raider and make a really fun and thrilling ttrpg for folks.

But anyone who knows me, knows that anti-colonial design is in all my games. It's just who I am, and it's not something I consciously did at first. It wasn't even until I started designing ttrpgs, in my 30s, that I realized how important my personal decolonization process was, and a lot of that has helped me discover new aspects of my identity (including being a transmasculine person).

So, I don't need to tell you that a franchise called Tomb Raider has some colonial implications, right?

As development goes on, folks have asked me "How is the game anti-colonial?" or "How are you addressing the colonialism?" I want to start off by saying as a team we conceptualized what that could mean while still being true to the franchise. But since then, as Lead Designer, I've had to make hundreds of decisions that are reflected in countless design and structural choices. I can point to dozens of mechanics and things and describe how this is my personal attempt to present anti-colonial gaming, and I'm grateful for the help our team of consultants and playtesters in guiding me.

It's kind of wild, but in chasing after and reaching for anti-colonial design, I've had to figure out how to implement great tech from other designers, but also come up with lots of new stuff too. There's some really cool Adventure design stuff that is really hard to pull off in a PbtA framework where you play to find out. (Arguably, PbtA itself has a lot of anti-colonial play about it compared to mainstream ttrpgs and it's one of the reasons we used PbtA as a design framework but that's a whole other conversation)

I'm really so grateful for the support from the team! It's hard to feel like I'm good enough and can measure up to Evil Hat's faith in me, but they've been incredibly supportive and open, and it's been stellar. Crystal Dynamics has also been amazing to work with, especially because it was important to me that while we honor how awesome Tomb Raider is, we don't downplay the difficult truths of colonialism and its ongoing effects. And they were so incredibly on board for that! It's so rare for a marginalized person like me to be granted an opportunity like this, and I am determined to give it my all.

We've built a team that's been amazing to collaborate with, and @ostrichmonkey-games has been doing incredible work alongside me. I'm really proud of what we're doing as a team! I can't wait for folks to see it come together.

You can also check out the Polygon (!!!) article about the game, which gives you a sense of some of the cool mechanics at play!

I know it's easy to write off an IP ttrpg based on a really big franchise (and for good reasons, unfortunately). But I really do think we're doing something special here! I hope y'all will give the game a chance and check it out when the public playtest starts up!

#omg ive been working on this forever #this game in its open playtest form is ALREADY BIGGER THAN APOCALYPSE KEYS GOOD GOD #the initial playtests have also been crazy good fun but also like super cathartic for my colonial feelings #am i still allowed to label this as indie ttrpgs #do i want to walk into that conversation #can you believe the tomb raider ttrpg is happening?!

[mudstoneabyss]

thinking about this part and how Kevin has also suffered a lot but last we saw him he was finding new happiness, meanwhile Lauren was at her lowest, and the potential implications that the Smiling God preys on chooses people who rely on It for their "happiness"

#literally It throwing Kevin by the wayside because he was genuinely happy outside of It #wtnv #wtnv spoilers #joyousposting #this must be so cathartic for Lauren also like. feeling that finally her suffering meant something