#is what I mean to say

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[batemanofficial]

that smoking in public poll got me thinking. you don't get to waffle about being neutral with these options you gotta choose

i personally like the smell of weed but dislike the smell of cigarette/tobacco smoke, but combing through the notes on that poll indicates that this opinion may be unpopular! idk!

#speak friend and enter #ok to rb #so many people complaining about smelling weed outside....what has this world come to (it's gentrification and liberal pearl-clutching) #but would you complain about gentle birdsong? a distant thunderhead's lazy rambling across the windswept plain? #ofc im not saying like. people with asthma or what-have-you are bad for not liking smoke in their lungs but you know what i mean

[glassiskies]

in which aziraphale reverts to old habits, crowley is outraged, and they still do not talk about it

#good omens #ineffable husbands #I need you guys to know I started this a month ago but couldn’t work on it bc of classes #and as soon as the quarter ended I inked colored and added an additional page in the span of like 5 days LMAO #aziraphale #crowley #also Crowley has only been made aware of real communication tm bc of nina and Maggie #I firmly believe aziraphale will not learn the art of saying what you mean until well into season 3 #yay miscommunication #comic #2023 art

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[agir1ukn0w]

excuse me was anyone gonna warn me about how goddamn ✨PRETTY✨ this young man is or…..

#i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again #men👏in👏eyeliner👏 #🥵 #iñaki godoy #inaki godoy #inaki luffy #one piece #one piece netflix #one piece live action #op live action #op #opla cast #opla #one piece luffy #op luffy #monkey d. luffy #straw hat luffy #luffy #🔥😅🔥 #i say ‘pretty’ but y’all know what i mean😏

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Thistle Debut Day!

#dungeon meshi #Thistle #Old dungeon meshi fans remember the days when it was ambiguous what gender Thistle was. #Now we know Thistle uses he/him pronouns but in my heart Thistle is still non-binary. Clowngender elf with poor coping skills. #I hope the anime-only watchers know that this is a character to keep an eye on. #Love (in it's many forms) and desire (in it's many forms) is the main course of Dungeon Meshi and THIS silly jester? #My goodness. What a perfect encapsulation of how one can hurt other's so deeply in the name of love. #The actions we take to 'protect' other's is often the route to doing the most harm. #Love is letting go. Sometimes that means control and sometimes that means saying farewell forever to someone.

[ash-and-starlight]

The world needs more Yue and Zuko friendship, I squeal just thinking abt the parallels. They deserve a life changing field trip together and if u have abt ideas I’m all ears 👀

Hiii anon this ask fermented in my inbox and in my brain for so long,, so take this??? Post canon yue lives/no war au arts?? Anyway aside from the Parallels and their political position & their duty before hoes grindset I think they could learn a lot from each other. With zuko learning the gift of patience & diplomacy from yue & Yue learning that allowing yourself to feel anger and speaking up can actually be Good.

anyway hypothetical life changing trip outcome: zuko takes an intro gender studies class and yue says fuck

(oh and also must not forget the crush on sokka)

#id in alt text #‘toph should say fuck’ ‘let sokka say fuck’ if there’s one person who deserves to say fuck here it’s YUE #i rest my case #also yea i think comparing his life to yue’s would open zuko’s eyes towards Gender Inequality ksbfhd #he’s like you’re mai but prep what do u mean you can’t throw knives 😤 #i can accept sexism but i draw the line at banned military indoctrination 😤😤 #i like to think that at one point yue shows zuko how to prepare & butcher small game and he does an absolute shit job at it #+ feels queasy for 3 days #zuko #yue #my art #ash replies #ALSO I MUST SAY!!! DRAWING THIS WHILE READING LIKE THE SUN CH4??? NOT FEELING WELL BESTIES #oh also since we’re talking fics…. js if u see this…… dywtjtb will always be famous

[tapeworrmart]

Inferiority complex

#When I say I got that dog in me this is what I mean #OC stuff #This just sums up how I feel about men tbh. Longing jealous and cowardly. My poor OC Angel gets the brunt of my shortcomings #art #sketch #character art #OC art #Own character #Tapeworrm oc #Dog motif #Dog #Gay #Gay art #Angel

[favoure]

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #secret life #mcyt #trafficblr #favourarts #ok to tag as ship #so i posted this to twitter first right #and the amount of people i have in my replies saying that they'll kill themselves is honestly Very funny #anyways im back :)) #i missed drawing these two GOD #okay life update in the tags for this piece is: something about finals season just makes you want to draw more #<- has been saying this for 4 days straight now #YAAAAAAYYYY i got another desert duo sketch cooking fellas and this one is a Bit more self indulgent if yk what i mean hehe #<- SEE U IN THE SIDEBLOG

[musicoftheheart]

me: *meets a girl i connect with well*

me, two days later: *has written her a love song*

if this gets 2.5k notes in the next two weeks (by 7th march) ill post the song on here. 3.5k and ill send it to her (making it unrealistically high so i never have to share it aha)

edit: the song is posted! have a listen here (and find the update about her response here)

tagging a few moots though to give it a fighting chance (no pressure though!!): @my-castles-crumbling @siriuslygay1981 @regulusmeanslittleking

#this is what i mean when i say i kin james potter #or when i say im too much lol #notes goals #if this gets x notes

[davidtennan-t]

the way the Doctor stopped himself when he got angry with Donna, walked away, put his hands up looking guilty af and apologised? Lives rent free in my head

#ten would have finished the ‘you spilled the coffee’ line and the argument more than likely would have escalated #at least that’s what I think #but look at this mature boi realising what he was saying was perhaps a little too mean #stepping away and apologising #AND THEN HE COMFORTS HER SECONDS LATER #david tennant #tenth doctor #doctor who #donna noble #fourteenth doctor #fourteen x donna

[tagerrkix]

rage.

#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once” #rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish????? #hmmmmmmm #definitely pain #and a hint of fear #no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying #the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was #like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage #well anyway #i don't even care about anatomy at this point #just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character #didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion fanart

[fratboycipher]

#reddit blackout #196 #reddit #r/196 #im sorry What. spez what does this mean #i wish i was landed gentry. also who says that #tilki

[collieii]

someone probably said this already but in spiderverse i think it's interesting how when pavitr was first introduced everyone thought something bad was gonna happen to him bc of how confident and optimistic he was. and then in the actual movie we see that something bad was supposed to happen to him (police chief dying!) but it doesn't! miles stops it! and miguel berates miles for this, says it's going to cause the universe to collapse or whatever.

there's this idea that tragedy is inherent to spidermans growth, and while it's true that some spiderpeople learn important lessons through loss, no one stops to ask, is it really necessary? yeah, maybe the chief was supposed to die. but why does spiderman have to be formed through tragedy? why do we (as heroes) have to let people die? pavitr didn't lose anyone, and he's still a good spiderman! maybe, if he doesn't suffer, he'll end up better off for it!

so while miguel is arguing for all this big picture stuff about saving the multiverse he's lost sight of what it really means to be a spiderman, he's not looking out for the real individual people. yeah it's just one person who would die, but that one person means something to someone. shrugging and saying "stuff just sucks sometimes, we can't do anything about it" is the opposite of what superheroes do. pretty obviously, miles arc is also a reflection of the struggles people face in real life, working within unequal systems, where it's easy to shrug and say "that's just the way it is" and not ask "but why does it need be this way? can't we do something about it?"

miguel is arguing that you can't have your cake and eat it too. presumably, miles and co. are going to find a way to get around that and change things for the better (and maybe that's why miles has that line about two cakes in the advisors office!)

#across the spiderverse #across the spider verse spoilers #break from my regularly scheduled trigun posting for spider posting #i'm actually kinda eh on the idea of the canon and police chiefs dying it is not my favorite plot point #but like any sane person i love spiderverse so #actually still think i like the first one more but wroaw much to think about #spiderverse #atsv #.lieii #i only watched the movie once so hopefully this is all accurate #i feel like this is all really obvious my point was like #pavitr being an example of a spiderperson who is still successful without going through all these awful things #and you think despite all this stuff about the multiverse how does he feel about the chief being saved? hes probably rly grateful right? #i mean maybe something terrible will happen to him in the next movie but. yk what im saying #.lieii txt

[asteraws]

my clown college grad project from december last year 🎪

#my art #oc #illustration #ok to elaborate a bit #its more of a circus/performing arts school but clown college is just easier and sillier to say so #i call it that #what da hell do i tag JFLDSKSFKD #im archiving a lot of stuff these days... #post uni burnout has been so real guys lol ill be taking a break from this proj but def wanna come back to it some day :3 #IN THE MEAN TIME THO... im finally cooking up another oc story omggg im saur excited abt it hopefully i can share some art of it here soon