#is this what it is like being a decent fucking person and not a demented psychopath

[jisungsplatforms]

Humph!!

Pairing: Seo Changbin x fem! reader

Genre: NSFW! Smut, minimal amount of angst (if you squint), fluff (happy happy ending!); non idol au, enemies to lovers, college au

Warning: Mature content! (DNI if you are uncomfortable or UNDERAGED); language, name calling, reader is kind of a jerk, erotic asphyxiation, use of pets names, hint of degrading, praise kink (implied), fingering (f), oral (f&m), PIV, unprotected sex (be careful with this!), unintended voyeurism (Chan and Jisung accidentally hears reader and Changbin getting it on)

Seo Changbin.

Or as you like to call him, the bane of your existence. You wouldn’t exactly call yourself the ‘petty type’ but how could you ever forget about the boy who pulled on your hair and cut in front of you during lunch time, only to get the last middle piece of pizza- a slice that was supposed to be yours, in middle school? And yes, while it is something so small, so trivial, that you should’ve easily forgotten all about it, you just couldn’t for he just seemed to pop up around you every. single. day. Oh, the list of ways he picked on you could go on and on. It was like whenever he saw you, he just had to push your buttons as if it’s his little demented mission to irk you for the rest of your life.

No one has ever made your blood boil more than he has. It makes your blood boil even more when you, yourself, couldn’t even deny the fact that the once scrawny, immature boy turned to the hottest, most muscular (and fuckable) man you’ve ever seen. Now here you are, as college juniors, and you two are still going at each other’s throats. And of course, no matter how older you get, the two of you will always find time to bicker with each other for the littlest things

“WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT ARE YOU?” you yell, looking at Changbin in disgust. “WHAT NORMAL HUMAN BEING DOES THAT?!”

He rolls his eyes at you, clicking his tongue, “Well, excuse me for having COLD FEET. SO WHAT YOU THINK ITS WEIRD? I GET COLD EASILY AT NIGHT SO LET ME WEAR MY SOCKS TO SLEEP IN PEACE, WOMAN!” Changbin yells back, glaring at you.

Ahh, yes. Today’s fight is now on whether or not wearing socks to bed is considered ‘abnormal’. Cause what else could you argue about?

“BUT…It’s so WEIRD! Can’t you, like, invest in some thicker blankets instead? There are better options than wearing SOCKS IN BED.”

“WHAT? IS IT A CRIME TO WEAR SOCKS TO-”

Jisung interrupts Changbin by slamming one of his hands down onto the table. “God… SHUT UP! CAN YOU TWO JUST FUCK ALREADY?!” he moans in irritation. Chan lightly shoves Jisung in retaliation, scolding him for being too loud. Jisung looks at him and pouts, mumbling a quick ‘sorry’. Chan sighs, finally looking at your startled faces .

“He’s kinda right though,” he says, calmly, “not exactly about the, uhm, having sex part, though the sexual tension between you two is nauseating. But I mean about getting along with each other and finally putting an end to this ‘rivalry’.”

You and Changbin glance at each other for a brief second before scoffing. “Please. Hell would freeze over before we do,” you sneer, side eyeing him.

“I’d rather kiss an electric eel than make up with that snake of a woman,” Changbin mumbles, looking away from you.

“How about I arrange that for you?” you smile, using the fakest sweet voice you could muster. Changbin turns to you with a scoff.

“You are such a-”

“Enough!” Chan says with a stern tone he almost never uses. The look Chan was giving you both was enough to shut you up and intimidate you; hell even Jisung was scared! “Either make up on your own by the end of the month, or else. Understand?”

Both you and Changbin sigh in irritation before agreeing. “Yes…”

“I mean it! Y/n, Changbin! This is getting ridiculous now. Honestly, you guys are full grown adults but you act like children, and not the good ones! Think of the other people you’re affecting with your behaviors.”

Silence fell upon your whole table. You could only nod your head shamefully at Chan’s words, while Changbin clicks his tongue but not say anything else. Jisung looks around the table, the uncomfortable silence making the poor boy feel antsy.

“Good,” Chan leans back, his cheerful demeanor coming back, “One month, that’s it. And play nice!”

“This is stupid,” Changbin groans, leaning back on his chair. You roll your eyes at him.

“Shut it. Remember, this is for the sake of our friends.”

Ever since that day- the day Chan scared the shit out of you both- you and Changbin made an agreement to try and be civil around one another. It wasn’t very nice, but you both knew Chan was right. You didn’t want to lose your friends because of some stupid rivalry that started 9 years ago. To fix your problem, the two of you, begrudgingly, decided to hangout with each other for the next month. Today marks your one week anniversary of your treaty.

Needless to say…you both hate it.

“If we have to hangout, can we not spend our time in a library?” the short man complains, looking at you with his sharp eyes.

“Well, sorry, but I have a chemistry test in a few days and I’m sure as hell not failing that. You know Science isn’t my best subject.”

Changbin groans, sliding down his chair. “Whatever.” he mutters distastefully. You shook your head.

“Don’t you need to study for anything too?” you asked, not even sparing him a glance.

“No. I’m done with all the tests I have to do and none of my other teachers prepped us for another one. So I’m basically free, doll.”

You cringe at Changbin calling you ‘doll’, hating how that simple pet name sent a delighted shiver down your back. You scoff.

“Disgusting,” you grimace, “Never call me that again.”

Changbin smirks, now sitting up on his chair to lean closer to you. “Whatever you say, doll.”

You look up at him with a nasty glare, resisting the urge to yell at him. “You are so lucky we’re in a library.” He laughs sardonically at you. You huff, standing up to look for a chemistry book. Changbin looks at you questioningly.

“Where’re you going?”

“Looking for more books.”

He sighs, starting to stand up as well. “No,” you stop him, “By myself.” He put his hands up, slowing sitting back down. You turn around and walk to the aisle containing the textbooks. After almost 10 minutes of searching, you still couldn’t find the book you were looking for.

“Damn, I was beginning to think you left me here by myself.”

You jolt at the sound of Changbin’s rough voice. You turn to see him leaning against the bookshelf.

“I’m not that much of a jerk,” you answer scornfully, going back to your search. You could hear Changbin’s heavy footsteps grow closer. You turn to see him standing right beside your crouching figure, looking down at you. The angle you’re seeing him in shouldn’t be making you think of such indecent thoughts. You snap your head back to the shelf as Changbin crouches with you, softly groaning as he goes down. You were trying your best not to make contact with him.

Changbin helps you look for a chemistry book, trying to be nice. You could feel yourself getting hotter at his courteousness. You really didn’t want to admit that Changbin was actually a decent person, so you couldn’t help but put up a front.

“I don’t need your help, you know?”

He sniggers, “I’m not trying to be nice. I just wanna get out of here faster.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, not getting his joke. “Geez, then get away from me,” you raised your voice, still keeping the fact that you’re still in a library in mind. “I can do it myself.”

Changbin looks at you, a little shocked. He huffs, sticking his tongue against his cheek. “Honestly, you don’t have to be such an ass around me all time, you know?” he says, quietly. You stop your actions, feeling a little bad for snapping at him. “You said yourself, you want us to try getting along, why can’t you act like it?”

You bit your bottom lip, still not looking at him. “Simple. It’s cause I hate you,” you lied. He looked at you for a few seconds before standing up. You didn’t see the look of defeat on his face.

“You know,” Changbin says slowly, “I thought we could be friends. Deep down, I really thought we actually could.” You stayed quiet, looking down. “But now I know, you’re really just a stone-cold bitch.”

That. Now that lit a fire in you. You stand up abruptly with cold eyes. “Never call me that ever again.”

“What? A bitch?” He challenges, eyes equally as cold as yours. “See, here’s the thing; It’s true. I’m trying to be nice here and you’re just shutting down every single nice act I try to do for you. And what have you done for me? Drag me around like I’m some dog? You couldn’t even have the decency to even ask where I wanted to go.”

You could feel yourself get smaller and smaller with every step he took closer to you. For someone who was only 5’6”, damn did he look big. You bit the inside of your cheek when you felt your back hit the wall.

“What’s your problem with me, Y/n? I’ve seen the way you are with Jisung and Chan. I’ve seen the way you are with your other friends. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but ever since we started college, I’ve been trying to be nicer to you. But I guess it makes sense that someone as self-centered as you wouldn’t notice.”

You let out a sarcastic “ha”. You shake your head and stare into his eyes. “I told you. I. don’t. like. you. Do I need any more of a reason?”

“Yes. Yes, you do actually.”

“Hm. Find then. You’re annoying, you’re loud, you’re simple-minded, childish, irresponsible, you don’t take things seriously, you’re whiny, messy, irritatingly cocky and seeing your face is just so infuriated that it makes me nauseous,” you list. “Want more?”

The deadly look on his face simultaneously frightens and arouses you. The sarcastic smirk he gave you, though, was hotter. “Continue.”

“You’re nothing but a show off.” With those words, Changbin’s arrogant facade broke. “You act so cool and cocky when really you’re just average at best. Everything you do. Average. You don’t have much to show for. Nothing you do is worth being proud of.”

Changbin slams his hands onto the wall, making you gasp. You stare at him with wide eyes. “Take that back,” he snarls. If you thought he was intimidating before, boy were you wrong. But something in your touch starved mind made you more horny than frightened. Feeling bold, you tilt your chin up, maliciously. “Or what, Seo?”

All of a sudden, he wraps his veiny arm around your neck, choking you. It was so arousing and so sudden that you let out an embarrassingly whiny moan. “Oh?” Changbin raises a brow with a smirk. He tightens his grip on your neck, laughing cockily when you let out another whine. “Oh, I see now,” he whispers in your ear, “You act so high and mighty, always trying to take control of things, when really you’re just some sub in disguise. Isn’t that right, doll?”

You bit your lip, eyes tearing up in sexual frustration. You eyes roll back, biting your lip harder, when his grip on your throat tightens. “Aww~ how cute. You look so pathetic like this, baby,” he says, biting the shell of your ear. You arch your back at the stimulation, grinding your hips into his with a whimper. You were so glad that you were at the farthest corner of the library. Changbin moves away from you and grabs your arm. “Let’s go. We’re leaving.”

He drags you back to your table and carelessly stuffs your belongings into your bag. He slings it over his should and harshly pulls you out of the library. His apartment wasn’t that far from the library so the two of you didn’t bother picking up a cab. The walking distance between the library and his house was only about 10 minutes or less, but to you guys, it felt like hours.

Changbin fumbles with his keys, wanting to unlock the door faster. When he succeeds, he pushes you inside, slamming and locking his door roughly. He throws your bag to the ground then proceeds to pull you into his room. He turns the knob and kicks his door open.

Once inside, he pushes you onto his bed, hovering above you. The two of you were panting heavily from the tension. “Please tell me to stop,” he breathes shakily, staring at your lips, finally saying his first words since the library. “If you don’t want this, tell me to stop before I lose it.”

Did you really want this? Do you really want him? Or is it just your hormones talking? You contemplate, thinking back on all the years you’ve known him. Yeah, you thought that he was annoying when you were younger, wanting nothing more than to push him down a well. However, as you grew up, you started to notice how mature he has gotten throughout the years. He still does make fun of you, but it wasn’t as bad as before. He did treat you like an actual human being when he wasn’t irritating you. Especially recently. He really did treat you nicely but you were too prideful yourself to admit that.

Even up to now, you said some really hurtful things to him, and he was still making sure you were okay when he could’ve just lashed out on you and done whatever he wants. Changbin is genuinely a really nice guy and you were just too stuck up to see that. In that moment, you realize that you actually like Changbin, as in, have genuine feelings for him. Maybe even way longer than you realize but you were being stubborn to acknowledge it. Speaking of, you seem to realize that you were so lost in thought that Changbin took your silence as a ‘no’.

Just as he was about to remove himself from your body, you grab onto his shirt and push your lips onto his. He was taken aback. He was convinced that you truly didn’t like him but you seem to have proved him wrong. Before he could kiss you back, you parted away from him, leaning your forehead against him. “Make me yours, Bin,” you whisper.

Without any hesitation, Changbin kisses you with fervor. The kiss held so much passion, desperation, and desire that it made you moan. You wrap your arms around his neck, messing with his dark hair. Changbin groans, grinding his hips against yours. He pulls away to take off your shirt and start marking you up. You mewl, feeling him suck, lick, and kiss your neck.

One particular suck on the juncture of your neck made you moan out loud. He smiles against your skin, taking extra time on that area. You cry out, pulling on his hair to get his attention. “Changbin…” you say breathlessly. He looks up and nearly loses it on the spot. You laying underneath him, neck covered with sexy red marks that he created. You already look so dazed out that Changbin wonders how much more beautiful you will look when he actually fucks you.

He moves up to your face, stroking your hair. “What’s wrong, doll?” he questions you softly. You whimper as you roll your hips up to meet his. Changbin hisses at the feeling.

“Inside,” you whine, “Want you inside me, please.”

“Do you now?” Now his tone was condescending. You pout, nodding your head. “Cute. What makes you thing that I’d just give it to you after how much of a brat you were earlier?” You rub your thighs together, pouting.

Tears starts forming in your eyes. “Please? I’m sorry for being a brat. I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”

Changbin chuckles darkly. “Oh, you will, doll,” he says, rubbing both your thighs. He glances up at you to read your expressions, only continuing when you gave him a confirming nod. He sits up and takes off your pants. He chuckles, licking his lips when he realizes that your bra and panties were a matching set. “How adorable.” he sings, making you flustered.

Changbin kisses your stomach before slipping his hand down your panties. You clench your thighs, trapping his hand, as he plays with your clit. He rubs slow circles on your clit, stroking your slit before sliding one finger inside you. You grab a fistful of his bed sheets, moaning. He lazily moves his finger in you, adding another one to fill you up a little more. You were already breathless. Your sweet moans filling up the entire room. Changbin starts to move his fingers faster, bending them, making you arch your back and whine louder.

You could already feel your high getting closer. You start squirming around in response. “Close, baby?” he asks, rhetorically. You nod your head frantically.

“Y-yes, fuck. Oh shi- yes.”

Changbin pumps his fingers faster for you, feeling yourself clenching tighter and tighter before you finally cum around them. He lets you ride out your high before slipping out of you. He brings his fingers to your lips, prying them open. “Open up, doll.” You let his fingers inside your mouth, swirling your tongue around his digits, tasting yourself, making the two of you groan. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, sliding down so his face meets your wet core.

You look down at him, questioningly. You were about to ask him what he was doing until he licks up your slit. Your eyes widened as you threw your head back, letting out a moan loud enough that it borderline sounded like a scream. His tongue explores your pussy, occasionally sucking on your clit as you pant.

“N-no,” you stammer, “that’s not-n-no. I-I’m still sensi-ah!” You grip his hair, not sure if you’re trying to push him away or pull him closer. Changbin chuckles at this, the vibrations from it shooting up your core. Your sensitivity from your first orgasm brought you closer to your next release. You start bucking your hips, thighs closing in on his head as your core tightens. He grabs your thighs, prying them open. One last harsh suck on you clit made you cum again, this time on his tongue. Changbin licks up your slit, gathering up every single drop of your juices.

He sits up and smiles at you, his chin covered with your excess wetness. He rubs your thighs to calm you down. “You good, Y/n?” he worryingly asks, “Think you can handle one more?” You lazily nod your head, a little overwhelmed with the over sensitivity. Changbin wipes his mouth before crawling back to your face. He kisses you leisurely, taking his time with your lips to give you more time to calm down.

You hold onto his muscular biceps as he cups your face. You were still panting harshly even before he started making out with you. He peppers your face with gentle pecks, encouraging you to continue. “How ‘bout now? Can you handle one more orgasm, babe?”

This time, you could actually reply to him. “Y-yeah. ‘Think I can.” you said, quietly. Changbin smiles and gives you one more peck on your lips. He leans up and takes off his clothes. Even after two orgasms, you still felt needy for Changbin. Your eyes rake down his form, eyeing each one of his bulging muscles. Damn, no wonder why he’s always bragging about going to the gym everyday, cause he has every right to do so.

Now, if you thought his body was impressive, then his cock was another story. Your eyes widens, breath hitching when you see it. Holy shit, now I know why he’s so short, you thought. He has a monster cock that totally makes up for it. “Holy fuck-“ Changbin looks at you with a smirk.

“What’s wrong, doll? Bigger than you expected?” You nod dumbly, mouth ajar. Changbin could feel his ego skyrocketing. He pumps himself, throwing his head back in pleasure, finally feeling some kind of pleasure before lining himself to your hole. He adjusts his position, spreading your legs wider as well. “I’ll go as slowly as I can,” he mutters. You mumble a quiet ‘thank you’ as he starts pushing in.

Your mouth opens in a silent scream, eyes clenching as you try to take him in fully. Changbin moans rather loudly, your tightness a little too much for him. “W-wait. Fuck…” you call out with slight hiss. He stops his penetration, waiting for you to adjust. Your grip on his shoulders tightens, silently giving him the ok to move. He continues his advancement slowly until he bottoms out inside you. The both of you moan, giving each other time to relax.

Changbin leans down to kiss your cheek, whispering encouraging words to you. You stay in your positions for almost a minute before pleading for Changbin to move. At first, his thrusts were slow, testing out how well you could take him in for now. You moan softly, the way his hips move softly is already shooting bursts of pleasure throughout your body. Gradually, he picks up his pace, his once slow, loving thrusts are now hungry, desperate ones.

His hands were now on the back of your thighs, folding you in half. The new position allows him to reach deeper inside you. “B-bin,” you whine, clawing at his back, “hmm…fuck. M-more. Fuck me harder.”

“Harder? You really think your pretty little pussy can handle my cock, doll?”

“Yes! P-please g-give me more. I can handle i-it!”

Changbin laughs at your desperation, picking up his pace. You moan louder, moving your hips to meet his thrusts. Changbin’s soft moans and growls and your own whiny moans filled his bedroom. Neither of you knew who would break first, both of your releases nearing. The tip of his cock starts hitting right on your sweet spot, making you scream. He throws his head back with a loud, raspy moan when he feels you tightening around him.

“I’m s-so fucking close, Bin,” you cry, “Don’t s-stop!”

“My, what a desperate slut you are.”

He bites his lip, hips moving harder and deeper, as he leans closer to kiss you. Remembering the scene from the library, Changbin’s right hand snakes around your neck, firmly but gently choking you.You let yourself enjoy the feeling of him blocking your airways, closing your eyes in pleasure. You whine loudly when he slips his tongue in your mouth. You let him explore your wet cavern, loving the feeling. Your eyes shot open when you felt his thumb playing with your clit.

“Sh-shit! Changbin!” You moan, arching your back. You could feel the beginnings of your release.

“C’mon,beautiful,” Changbin whispers, “Cum for me.” His words seem to have triggered your orgasm. Your body went stiff, cumming around his cock, mumbling a bunch of expletives. You start trembling, the feeling of your orgasm was too intense. Changbin hisses, pulling himself out of you when he felt his own release nearing.

He pulls you up, pushing your head close to his throbbing dick. Getting the memo, you lean down and take him into your mouth. You bob your head up and down as you pump the rest of his cock. Changbin moans, his rough hand in your hair. He starts rocking his hips, pushing himself deeper into your mouth. One harsh tug on your scalp made you moan, the vibrations sends waves of pleasure down his cock making him throw his head back yet again.

“What a dirty little girl,” he pants heavily. “Love my cock that much, huh, doll?” Tears pool your eyes as you try humming in agreement. The second round of vibrations sent Changbin over the edge. Hot spurts of cum shoots down your throat. He holds your head in place until he finishes cumming. “That’s it, beautiful. Swallow it all. Don’t let anything go to waste.”

He lets go of your head and gently pushes you down his bed. He cups your cheek, rubbing it tenderly with his thumb. Changbin reaches behind you to unclasp your bra, throwing it down onto his floor and rubbing at your breast to soothe you, only letting go of them when you let out an uncomfortable whine. He moves up to your face and kisses you softly.

“Are you okay, Y/n?” he questions you. You nod, too fucked out to respond verbally. Changbin giggles, moving to lay beside you and petting your hair as you calm yourself. You turn your body to hug his, slightly catching him off guard. He immediately relaxes, however, and continues stroking your hair. The two of you lay comfortably until Changbin broke the silence.

“Did you mean it?” he asks, quietly. You note the tone of uncertainty in his words. Your eyes meet his in question.

“Mean what?” you slur, still having a bit of trouble talking.

“Did you mean what you said in the library? Do you really hate me? Was this just a…one time thing?”

You look at him sadly, his expression matching yours. He didn’t want this to be just a one night stand. He genuinely wants to be friends with you. Scratch that, he wants to be even more than that. You nibble on your lips, shaking your head.

“No…I don’t actually hate you…Yeah, you piss me off a lot but…I can’t actually hate you,” you say, moving your hands to cup his face. You could feel Changbin leaning into your touch. “Honestly, I don’t even remember when I started liking you. I guess I only just realized it now when you pushed me onto your bed.”

Changbin moves away from you in shock. “You…like me?” You timidly nod your head, a little embarrassed now. He lets out the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him and kisses you. This time, this kiss was soft, filled with so much love and unsaid feelings. You giggle into the kiss, holding his face. Changbin pulls away from you and rests his forehead against yours, his eyes twinkling in joy. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”

You smile, moving to peck his lips. “I’m sorry,” you tell him, “For everything I said. It was uncalled for and kinda mean. Scratch that, I really was a fucking bitch to you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Changbin hums, rubbing your back. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I get why you said all that. I mean, this whole rivalry started ‘cause of me, so this was kinda my fault to begin with.”

“No, it’s not. We both brought this upon ourselves, Bin, so we’re both at fault.”

“I guess…Let’s just start over?”

You contemplate. “I think,” you start cautiously, “It’s better if we don’t.”

“Huh?” Changbin was confused. “What do you mean no?”

“I mean, I don’t really want to forget about our past and pretend our years of bickering never happened. We already fell for each other’s bad qualities, so why should we, you know? There’s nothing for us to hide at this point.”

Changbin had a look of realization on his face, drawing out a long ‘ah’. “I like that,” he laughs. “You’re right. Let’s do that!” He pulls you closer to his broad chest, kissing the top of your head. He hugs your form tighter, as if he was afraid that this was a dream. “Oh yeah, what’re we gonna tell Chan and Jisung when we show up together all lovey-dovey?” he wonders out loud.

“No need to tell us anything!” a voice sounding a lot like Jisung’s calls out from the other side of Changbin’s door. “We’ve been home for 15 minutes now. We heard almost everything! Chill out goddamnit!” You both could hear Chan in the distance, yelling at Jisung for saying that while he goes on about how you two “actually did it, they finally got laid!”.

“Oh my god…” you groan in mortification while Changbin drowns with laughter. You hide your face on Changbin’s chest, feeling it shake from his laughs. “Looks like we got that down!” he jokes. You slap his chest with a whine.

Yup. Today now marks the end of the Seo-L/n war, and damn were you glad it did.

~End~

A/n: hi. if you didn’t know, this is actually a repost yay :) cause after all this time, this fic still hasn’t shown up in the tags cause t*mblr is a little bi-

#stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfic #skz smut #skz imagines #skz scenarios #seo changbin smut #seo changbin imagines #shame cause i was actually proud of this fic 🥲

[morgana-ren]

Hi Momo! I love your writing and since you are one of my fav authors in this cesspool of decadency that's tumblr, i wanted to ask you: what are some personality traits of crusty boy that many people usually overlook but you think are pretty important when writing him (or enjoying him)?

Oh, thank you! That is a toughie. It's been a while since I've actually read something that someone hasn't sent to me for proofing or just to share. The authors I love so much are usually ones who write him along the lines that I do- Sadistic, taunting, obsessive, and somewhat demented.

I write him like that because that's what gets me off. There's plenty of great authors out there who like to focus on the softer, more decent aspects of his personality, and some of them do it very, very well. It's just on a personal level, I don't usually resonate with it. I have to be in a specific mood to accept lovey-dovey attention, even in writing.

Personally, I really like reading him as calculating and cunning. He's a strategist first and foremost. He'll definitely be up front, but he is absolutely not above being an underhanded menace to get what he wants. He shows affection in strange ways. He's likely not going to go out and get you flowers and chocolates and suddenly turn into a normal, functioning human being just because he has a mate now. I feel like there won't be cuddling on the sofa and butterfly kisses and the general sweetness that usually happens in a relationship a lot of the time. There's a lot of clunky awkwardness that comes along with the territory, and I love to see it.

I think the best ones also have a touch of guarded vulnerability. Intimacy is inherently vulnerable, and I don't know that Tomura really does well with vulnerability in general. There's got to be some contrast in there between his general deviant behavior and what it is that draws him to you in the first place. Whether it's frustration because he doesn't quite know what he's dealing with or how to, or him struggling with even feeling it in the first place. Maybe he gets defensive or cruel because he feels raw or stripped open so easily by you. Doesn't recognize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing with the right person.

My own personal preference is for fics where he actually cares. Not just he's bored and is a cruel bastard for no other reason than he's crawling out of his skin with sadism. He wants you to love him, he wants your affection, he'd kill for you or do whatever it takes because he throws his entire self into it. (Mind you, he is still a sadistic prick throughout all of this because he just is, it's just how and who to.) He has a very twisted brand of love, and that can be very fun to play with writing wise.

He is still Tomura, and he is still a vicious killer. I prefer when the aspects of his personality aren't stripped away to make room for his new obsession. AFO is still engrained into his soul, and he still clings to hate and rage all that negativity, and it's going to bleed out into his relationships. You'll either bond over shared trauma, or it will terrify you because that's such a horrid way to live. It depends on the reader personality you're leaning into. Both can work very well.

Ultimately, he is a villain. I think the two need to sync. If he's total sweetheart sensitive baby-boy never done a thing wrong in his life in every single aspect of the fic, it just doesn't quite... match for me. Why even like Tomura if that's the case? Like what is it that draws about him if the entire personality has been scrambled into a total softboy? Maybe that's my personal preference though.

That's absolutely not to say that he shouldn't be soft for you. I am a goddamn fool for the troupe of 'big fuck-nasty villain is soft for his wife', and it's one of my favorites. I guess in that case, it honestly just depends on the breed of Tomura you're writing! I've seen all sorts work out extremely well depending on how it's done!

These are just my preferences though! I know there are TONS of different brands out there, and all of them are great to enjoy if they're your thing!

#Morgana and friends #Shigaraki

[hotmess-exe]

Spill your thoughts pls✋😩

@lacewing707 honestly, my many thoughts on this can be condensed to some very simple, uncontroversial opinions: if executed and implemented well, love interests getting together with other NPCs can be good. if executed or implemented poorly, it can be off-putting and hard, even impossible, to enjoy. what constitutes good and bad execution will always vary to some degree for readers. and some people prefer their interactive fiction without this possibility at all, whether it's done "well" or not.

what i do not fuck with is the strong sense of reader entitlement coming off of a lot of the sentiments in that thread. frankly, mostly coming from one person, but vocally and repetitively enough that the whole thread has become a circlejerk of either dismissing or coddling this specific perspective and arguments being made from that circle of thought.

like, in no universe am i "giving" my characters to anyone by writing them in a book. this is not me making some absurd claim of ownership over characters once they are made public and people are invited to engage/interact with them. but it is me saying a big FUCK NO to the idea that the decent thing for an author or dev to do is try to cater to every conceivably disliked mechanic or theme in their story Especially since the thread was not being specific to romance games and dating sims. *But more than anything, it's a big FUCK NO to the idea that ROs being given real lives in the form of a romantic relationship without the MC involved is some sort of super jarring, unacceptable thing that writers would only do for selfish reasons and that it subliminally indicates that the MC/player (because honestly, i think that's what the issue is) must be less worthy of an RO's love 🙄 dear god this is so juvenile a take

It feels like there's an elephant in the room. That elephant is that some people attach themselves to fictional characters to such a degree that they take certain writing decisions personally and seem to view authors as responsible for whatever negative feelings result from that personal investment and disappointment. sorry but nah—i ain't yo mommy and either you're a literal child and you'll get over it and find something else to play or you're a grown adult and you NEED to be over it and find something else to play. making character judgments about writers and players who don't see this as a big deal makes me so irritated.

im also glimpsing some very demented (imo obviously) twisting of the concept of consumer/reader interpretation vs. author's intent. i have read every post in that thread but this main point of conceit keeps just boiling down to this to me:

some people get jealous over fictional characters and some people do not and cannot.

as a writer, i am happily in the second camp. and, ngl, having surfaced from the toxic world of online fandom a long time ago, people in the first camp either annoy the fuck out of me or give me the worst of vibes. if i don't even feel this intense ""ownership"" of characters that literally only exist because i conceived of and created them, I frankly don't have much sympathy and certainly not a lick of respect for the idea that readers—who will never have the full picture of my characters because it's literally impossible for anyone who is NOT me—do.

Maybe when I'm dead. idk, the vibe is very fucked in that thread imho. I am very, deeply opposed to treating possessiveness and jealousy like normal, healthy, valid reactions to everyday, does-not-impact-your-life-in-any-way-outside-of-entertainment-or-superficial-fulfillment, bullshit. it's too adjacent to how fans of a medium will sometimes start claiming a weird ownership of creators too. makes me ill.

#just thoughts #not quite organized thoughts #look an anon #i just dont get treating this like it's valid #not disliking NPC x NPC matches but such a ridiculous point that has nothing to do execution #but all to do with the mental torment and gymanstics of a potential reader #its just #fiction is a two-way street—someone creates and someone reads #so to talk like authors are belligerent for not creating specifically with the reader in mind first and foremost grosses me out #idk im missing some thoughts here #just too annoyed to sort it out! #also v busy day -_-

[slashersins]

Okay so I see OG Michael as this dom motherfucker, the man who does not really understand love at all. BUT RZ Michael on the other hand I view as this big beefy boi who would treat me so fucking right, still a huge dom but he understands his emotions but he has a hard time expressing them. And I swear I’m like the only person who views Michael in a soft way. It’s so hard finding fics of him being a decent human being lmao.

OG Michael is an enigma . I respect the fuck and fear the fuck out of him , this is a known . If you wanna talk mad OG Michael realness then I suggest you talk to my buddy @carpenter-synth , they have a beautiful grasp of OG Myers , and I am amazed by it . 

Now , RZ ? RZ Michael is my baby . I’m so fucking sweet on him . Like fuck , am I sweet on him . A bullied chubby kid from a bad home ? Has an older sister who treats him like shit , a baby sister who can’t fend for herself , a mother who does her best to love her children and fuck does she love them , but she can’t find a decent guy and settles for trash because well , she doesn’t think or cant get anyone else , and the man she’s with is a bastard ? 

michael fucking kills his bully . not the most sane thing to do , but it felt good . and fuck , if killing his bully felt this good , then why not kill the other people in his life that make him hurt ? that make the ones he loves hurt ? he kills judith and her boyfriend , they were cruel , stupid , harsh , made fun of him and made their mother cry . michael didn’t feel any remorse . he got rid of the fucker who hurt his mother and bitched at him and lazed around the house . that fucker he had fun with . but his mom ? his baby sister ? untouched ? why ? michael loved them . he fucking loves them so much . even if he does feel so good and powerful when he killed . 

now look . this is a boy who has been through a lot . and now he’s in a hospital . he’s needs help . but does he get the help he needs ? FUCK NO . he gets MOTHER FUCKING LOOMIS . and what happens ? michael gets worse .he gets fucking worse . his mother stops visiting , he stops talking , he stops emoting , he goes deep and deeper into himself until he seems like nothing more than a shell . but he’s so much more . he enjoys arts , he feels a need to hide his face to feel comfortable , he’s obeident when he needs to be because he knows how the system works . he knows what to do , micahel knows how to act like they want him to act . and the need to kill only grows . 

it’s my personal opinion that michael wanted to find his little sister . he needed to . shes all he had to think of , to hope for . he loved her . he loves her . its his baby sister , he wants to keep her safe . he wants that feeling of family , he misses his mother . even if all these feelings are somewhat burried . but when he finds his sister ? when she doesnt reconize him , accept him ? it’s like judith all over again . and he gets fucking angry . he’s been abadnoned AGAIN . like . . . fuck . 

michael is so emotionally guarded but he has emotions .and because he can’t express them properly he tends to get violent and angry . he’s not going to understand any feelings when it comes to an s/o . he’s not going to want to open up . he tries to fight it . but despite everything if michael does give in , he is in a way soft . 

you are his obsession . he cannot lost you . he won’t . he’ll keep you safe , even from yourself . he’ll stalk you . he needs you to need him , he needs you to know that you’re not allowed to leave him . he’ll claim in you every way he can , suffocate you with himself , try to break you in a way that leaves you wanting , but he also can’t stand to truly hurt you ? and he hates the way you make him feel , he loves the way you make him feel . 

but don’t get me wrong . he won’t start talking to you . he won’t give you more expressions , he won’t emote . he doesn’t change for you in that way . he’s still michael . still a beast , demented and twisted and blood thirsty . you can’t tame michael , no matter how hard you try . he’ll never be fully domesticated . but he will be yours . and he will show you his affections in his own possessive way . 

nnnnng . i ranted too long . i’m gonna stop . does any of this make sense ? i just love this man . 

#Anonymous #michael myers #michael myers imagine

[petri808]

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thank you for your patience. This week was pretty crazy distracting with the elections lol   The ride’s gonna get rough for a while....

It had become a pretty routine idea for the couple whenever a new and interesting movie hit the theaters to check it out. They could relax and cuddle, letting the stressors of school and work melt away onto the big screen where actors made them laugh or cry and laugh again. The theater that Saturday afternoon was busy with the line for the concession stand long but moving at a decent pace. Natsu and Lucy weren’t too worried about getting a good seat because they’d arrived early enough.

 “Do you think Pets 2 will be as good as the first one?” Lucy questions Natsu.

 “I don’t know. I mean the first one was okay I guess.” He pokes her side in a teasing manner. “You’re just excited cause Mamoru Miyano is dubbing a character again.”

 “He’s hot, what can I say and if he was single, well...” she shrugs with a devious grin, “who knows.”

 “Pfft, I’m a much better catch, plus he’s old.”

 “I’m just teasing,” Lucy giggles. “But he is not that old!”

 Natsu is still laughing over the protective behavior she shows for her favorite voice actor, just as they finally reach the front of the concession stand. “Should I just grab a big tub of popcorn and we share?” He double checks with her.

 “No way mister,” she laughs, “I want a small one for myself cause last time I barely got any.”

 “Okay that’s true, what about a drink? Share or no?”

 “Hmm, yeah, that’s fine. Ooh, and don’t forget my arare this time.”

 It takes only a few minutes for the worker to put their order together. Natsu grabs the two containers of popcorn and their candies, while Lucy holds the carrier with the drinks. They then head towards the hallways leading to the theater rooms. It was a pretty big lobby area with three hallway branches to choose from, so they check to make sure they take the correct one. But just as they’re about to turn in that direction, something or someone bumps so hard into Natsu’s back that he stumbles and the food he was holding flies forward all over the ground. Lucy who was walking right beside him is also hit, though managed to keep the drinks from being thrown too.

 “What the fuck?!” He yells from the impact and Lucy cries out too.

 The whole event was seconds in the making, like a blur of food flying, gasps around them, and immediate questions needing answers. Natsu moves to spin around to confront the person, when arms are quickly wrapping themselves around his body. Meanwhile, Lucy is sent into an emotional tailspin from the sight. Anger and frustration topping the list.

 “Touka?!” Lucy screams.

 “Touka?!” Natsu parrots his girlfriend since he can’t see behind him. He claws at the arms around him. “Get the fuck off me you crazy bitch!”

 A crowd of gawkers gathers to see what was going on, and employees from the concession stand get on phones to call for security.

 “Natsu! I can’t believe you’re cheating on me!” The woman retorts and digs in, holding on as tight as possible. “I’m your girlfriend not her!”

 “You are not my girlfriend!” He screams as he tries desperately to untangle her arms from his body. “Let me you go you crazy nut case!”

 “Touka, let Natsu go!” Lucy shrieks too, digging her nails into the woman’s arm. She didn’t care if she drew blood at this point because she’d had enough of Toukas antics. For months and months, the woman has harassed them. Always showing up and spying on them, approaching them with this same rhetoric. But it was the first time she’d become this physical, latching onto Natsu and not letting go. “Touka, you’re crazy! Leave us alone!”

 “He’s mine!” The woman screams back. “Natsu’s mine and you stole him from me!”

 “She didn’t steal nothin’ you demented freak!” Natsu finally pulls her locked arms away and flips her over his shoulder. Touka lands hard on her back to the gasps and murmurs of onlookers, but Natsu didn’t care at this point. He was too fed up with the stalker behaviors that’s been driven him crazy for almost three years now! “I can’t take it anymore! I’m pressing charges Touka since you won’t leave us alone!”

 Sobbing on the floor but undeterred, Touka grabs for his ankle. “No! I’ll never give you up! Never!”

 Natsu kicks her hand away, then grabs Lucy by the waist and pulls them both out of reach from the crazed blonde. “Stay away from me and Lucy, Touka! I mean it! This has gone too far!”

 Lucy immediately turns and buries her face in his chest as he holds her close. Her mind was reeling and on the verge of tears. Why couldn’t she leave them alone! It had been frustrating until now, but this was getting scary. It felt like they didn’t have the freedom to be in public together without constantly worrying if Touka would show up. Usually, if there were people around, she was less likely to, so her actions this time showed an escalation in behavior.

 In that moment, security arrived and takes charge of the situation. Two of the men secured Touka and haul her away to the building’s security office, while another questions the couple along with witnesses in the lobby. The pair tells them what happened and Natsu insists on pressing assault charges on Touka. Once witnesses confirm their story, the guards take all of the contact information and allow them to leave. Theater employees offer to replace their food for free, but Lucy is so shaken that she just wants to get out of there. It was nice of the staff to give them free vouchers for their next trip.

 “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, Natsu.” Lucy clung to his side as they walked the short distance to his apartment. “There’s something seriously wrong with that girl.”

 “Shh,” he kisses her temple, “it’s okay. You were just protecting yourself. But I promise you, we’ll get through this.”

 “Are you really gonna push the charges?”

 “Hell yes, I should have done it long ago. Maybe then she would have taken it more seriously.”

 “I hope so too. Maybe they’ll give her counseling in jail.”

 When they arrive at Natsu’s apartment, Gray was home but napping in his room, so they set up in the living room. Lucy makes them drinks and microwave popcorn, then they put on a movie. It wasn’t the same as a theater experience, but at least it was cozy. She cuddles up on his lap with the bowl of popcorn on hers, trying to focus on the movie rather than the events of that day. He in turn keeps his arms around her body to hold her close.

 Stuff like this was exactly what she feared in deciding to date Natsu, but she never thought it would go this far. She was too deeply attached to him to give up now and aside from dealing with Touka, he was everything he’d promised he would be, which was such a rarity that couldn’t be given up lightly. Lucy was comfortable with him, as if they’d known each other forever. Natsu was sweet, caring, affectionate, smart, handsome, funny, respectful of her no matter what. She could tell it pained him whenever stuff like this occurred, frustrated as if he was failing somehow. But it wasn’t all his fault. While yes, he could have been blunter with the woman in the beginning, Lucy had to admit that his caring nature was one of the reasons she loved him for. She couldn’t very well fault him for it now. Natsu also couldn’t control the fact Touka was just crazier than normal.

 “You’re thinking about things, I can tell cause your brows are furrowing.” Natsu’s voice is soft as he speaks. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

 Lucy shakes her head. “No. I’ll be okay, I promise. It’s just so hard to rap my brain around how some people can behave like that.”

 “It would kill me, but I’d understand if you’re tired of having to deal with all this... or me.”

 She turns slightly in his lap. “I’m not leaving. I’m— scared, but I’m not gonna let her win either. You’re just too good to give up.”

 Natsu’s face softens further, slightly embarrassed at such an affirmation. He cradles her cheeks and kisses her lips gently. “It’s me who’s the lucky one.”

*Note: arare= shoyu flavored rice crackers. It's makes a really good snack, but if you add it to popcorn with some furikake omg so oishi, delicious!

For those that don't know who he is, Mamoru Miyano is a popular voice actor in Japan for both anime and he's done dub work for American movies like Pets/Pets 2, etc. He's also my favorite Japanese singer :) I love him so much, OMG.

Last note, the story does take a majorly angsty turn at this point. I swear this ends happier if you can handle the drama lol.

#nalu #nalu fan fiction #nalu fan fic #nalu Au #angst #Natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #strangers on a train #ch 15

[lunetheaveragefan]

one day...

Hey, y’all! Finally, here’s chapter 4! Gosh, this has taken me so long! I’m so so so sorry. In other news, I will be going on a hiatus so I can build up some buffer chapters to prevent this from happening again. I’ll post updates on when I’ll be back, but I’m currently thinking it will be sometime around New Year’s or early January. Again, thank you all for reading! It means a lot to me!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: Remus and Janus mentions; mentions of homophobia and bullying; references of name-calling; swearing. (If there’s anything else, let me know!)

Word Count: 2,660

okay, here’s chapter 4! (Oh, and the bold words/sentences are text messages by the way.)

--------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER FOUR

Roman shuts the door to his car and walks inside the house. 

“I’m home!” he cries out. Feet thud on the stairs from the basement as Roman hangs his jacket on the hooks by the door. 

“Roman!” a manically shrill voice screams. Sliding across the hardwood floors around the corner comes Remus, Roman’s twin brother. Remus was a…special case. For reasons unknown, he was avidly interested in all things dark or cruel. A horrendously dirty mind and not a drop of innocence accompanied by a twisted love of morbid stories and people made Remus slightly demented, and Remus himself would be the first one to admit it. It was no wonder their parents gave up on him entirely. 

The only person who could keep Remus remotely in line was his boyfriend, Janus. Granted, Janus wasn’t the best example of a model kid, but he kept Remus from being too crazy. Roman liked Janus a decent amount and admired him for being able to put up with Remus at all, but there was something slightly off about him. The two only interacted when they needed too, and Roman was fine with that. 

“Hey, Remus,” Roman greets. “How are ya?” He feels the need to talk to his brother, show him support, since Remus doesn’t get any from their parents. Although being ignored doesn’t seem to bother Remus much, Roman tries to make an effort. 

“Fantastically fantastic!” He twirls in a circle, the tattered ends of his black trench coat flying out behind him. Roman chuckles at his brother’s antics. If only I were that free, he thinks. Before his smile can fade, Roman pastes it back on.

Before either boy can say anything else, Janus walks up the stairs and, without a single questioning glance, takes Remus by the arm. 

He must think Roman’s strained smile is due to annoyance because he says, “C’mon, Remus. Let’s go back downstairs and stop bothering your poor brother.” Remus giggles and follows Janus back downstairs, leaving Roman alone. The door shuts and the house goes quiet. 

Sighing and finally dropping the fake smile, Roman trudges to his room. He doesn’t mind that Remus gets the entire basement to himself. If they shared so much as a floor of the house, they would probably never stop arguing. Sure, they loved each other, Remus in his own backward way, but that didn’t mean they got along perfectly. 

Flopping down on his bed, Roman opens his phone to see a text from Patton. 

Sooooo are you happy you came? it reads.

Okay, okay, fine, yes, I’m glad I came, Roman responds. He bites his lip in nervousness before saying, Do you, by chance, have Virgil’s number? I would like to thank him again for helping me.

Patton’s reply is teasing, cheeky, just like a nosy father’s: Are you sure that’s the only reason you want it?

Roman chuckles before rolling his eyes at Patton's antics. Ignoring the question entirely, Roman asks, Do you have it or not?

Sadly, no, I do not. I’m afraid I cannot help your romantic pursuits this time.

Sending Patton the crying-face emoji, Roman rolls over to his back and stares at the ceiling. Maybe Virgil will talk to me tomorrow. It’s a foolish hope, and he knows that. Virgil doesn’t like Roman, and one day of studying together won’t change that. 

It’s smart to keep my feelings to myself. He hates me, and I can’t change that. It’s better to admire from afar. That’s the reason for his hesitation, or at least what Roman has convinced himself to believe. Although he’d never admit it, here’s something much deeper. Something he doesn't want to talk about. A fear he’s kept well hidden under his fake, perfect smiles that everyone buys into and the shameless flirting with every attractive person he sees and his bold, fearless stage presence year after year.

A buzz from the phone in his hand jars him out of his stupor. It’s a text from Patton.

I do have Logan’s, if you want to ask him. The text that follows contains a phone number. He hurriedly responds with a ‘thanks’ and copies the number. After making a new contact for Logan, he opens Messages again. The text should only take a few seconds to send, but Roman types his question in a million different ways, varying from borderline desperate to overly professional. Finally, he decides on the most simple one of all.

Hey, it’s Roman. Do you have Virgil’s number by chance? No explanation, no obvious signs of his crush. Straight and to the point. Even though Roman knows it’s the best way to phrase it, he still can’t make himself press send.

What if Logan figures it out? He’s the smartest kid in school, after all. What if he does have it and I text Virgil and he blocks me? What if Logan tells Virgil and they make fun of me? What if it’s a wrong number and the random person makes fun of me for my crush? 

“Dammit, Roman, get yourself together,” he mumbles, leaning his head back.

Fed up with his overthinking, Roman hovers his finger above the send button, closes his eyes, and presses down on the screen. Opening his eyes a sliver to make sure it sent, he shuts his phone off and throws it in the corner on a pile of clothes. He knows that if he keeps it next to him, he’ll obsessively check it every five seconds to see if there’s a reply. There’s homework he needs to do, for fuck’s sake.

Pulling his laptop out of his bag and opening his presentation for history, he gets to work. After a while, he forgets completely about the text. Googling the answers and finding pictures and reliable sites to use fills his thoughts, for once leaving no room for Virgil. At 11:30, once he’s done, assignment turned in with 29 minutes to spare, he grabs his phone and turns it on. 

There’s a text from Logan. 

Yes, I do have Virgil’s contact information. A string of numbers follow. His phone number. Roman’s heart flutters at the thought of being able to text Virgil.

Thanks, Roman responds. After making the second new contact of the night, making Virgil’s name just the heart-eyes emoji, he starts the agonizing process of figuring out what to say. 

“Should I just say ‘hi?’” Roman mumbles to himself, biting at his lip. “No, no, no. Then he won’t know who it is and he won’t respond. I could say ‘hi’ and who I am and then ask how he’s doing.” He nods and begins to type it in before deleting it and saying, “No! He’ll think I’m being weird! Roman, remember: he hates you. You can’t screw this up!” He groans in frustration and drops his head to his hands. “Wait, my excuse to Patton was that I wanted to say thanks again! I’ll just use that!” He types in, Hey! This is Roman. Thanks again for helping me with math today. 

“Okay, that looks good. Now, Roman, you just have to press send. It’s not that hard. Just do it.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Do I really want to do this? It’s just setting myself up for rejection. Yet when he pictures Virgil in his mind, purple hair falling across his face, freckles dotting his cheeks, he knows that it’s worth the risk. Taking one last deep breath, he opens his eyes.  

“Oh, shit!” he yells, throwing his phone across the room. Somehow, he’d accidentally sent the message while his eyes were closed. Curse my shaky hands. He meant to send it anyway, but still. Was not expecting it to happen so abruptly. Hands fly up to cover his mouth as he stares at the wall in shock. Roman’s mom comes in, looking concerned.

“Is everything alright, honey?” she asks, jarring Roman out of his distress. He blinks, shakes his head, and smiles crookedly. Quick, Roman, come up with an excuse! 

“Uh, I accidentally sent a text to the wrong person,” he half-lies. Please buy it. Please. Luckily, his mom chuckles.

“Okay, sweetie. Get to bed! Don’t want you to do bad in class and play, now do we?” She smiles warmly and shuts the door behind her as she leaves. 

Face falling, Roman murmurs, “Yup. Can’t have Golden Boy failing anything. What a tragedy that would be, for me to be less than perfect.” He laughs dryly and stands up to get ready for bed. He eyes his phone as he passes it on his way to his dresser, but resists the overwhelming urge to check it. Virgil’s probably asleep at this time, anyway. 

But Roman still can’t get him off his mind. 

------------------

Roman wakes up to the blaring of his alarm. It’s too early for this, he thinks, rolling over and smashing the snooze button. He’s just drifted back off to sleep when the alarm turns back on. Knowing he’ll be late if he snoozes it again, he shoves himself out of bed. 

After his shower, he picks up his phone, checking his messages. Scrolling past the notifications the play director sent out about practice, he looks for anything of interest. He’s already passed the message when his brain processes the sender.

He wasn’t hallucinating; there is a text from Virgil. Roman’s face breaks out in a smile and he sits down on the edge of his bed before falling backwards.

it was no problem, Virgil had texted last night. Another text comes in as Roman is reading the one from before.

hey if you wanted to you could come to the cafe again next week. The invitation brings a lightness to his heart. Maybe he doesn't really hate me, he thinks, goofily smiling at the ceiling.  Although the idea is uplifting, he tries to shove it down, but the hopeless romantic inside of him won’t listen. Or at least not as much as I thought he did, he compromises. p.s. logan says it’s okay too. i expected him too since he has a big fat crush on patton and you would most likely bring patton with you or patton would bring you

Roman’s jaw drops at the news. Did not see that coming. It only takes a few seconds for Virgil to say, oh shit i probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that. He’s responding when another text pops up.

i never said anything okay? 

Roman chuckles and types back, Got it, Mr... Ah dammit I can’t think of a funny nickname for you bc I’m so tired. You got anything? 

There’s an awkward moment of nothing when Virgil doesn’t reply. Roman knows that Virgil’s read it; the little words underneath the message say so. Did I say something wrong? Oh, no, he probably thinks I wanted a nickname to make fun of him! He facepalms at his stupidness. Wanting to make things right, Roman frantically tried to come up with what to say, but nothing sounds right. Before he can say anything, Virgil finally replies. 

idk i’m not a big fan of nicknames 

Remembering all those days when Roman used nicknames for the wrong reason, he winces. I was such a dumbass in middle school. 

Oh right. Feeling like he has to say something more, Roman gathers all his courage. 

Look I’m sorry about how shitty I was to you in middle school. It’s no excuse but I did it cause I was going through some stuff at home. Course that doesn’t make it right but I figured you’d like to know where I was coming from, he explains. Heart racing, he wonders what Virgil will say. He’s never admitted the reason behind his terrible behavior in middle school to anyone but Patton. Trouble had no place in his life. Everyone expected perfection, so that’s what he had to show. 

Lost in his thoughts, Roman didn’t notice Virgil’s reply at first. 

oh was all it said. A moment later, another text appeared. are things better? Roman wants to say no, tell him about the pressure, the expectations, the disappointment. There’s something about Virgil that feels trustworthy to Roman. He wants to tell him everything, but he knows he can’t. Because of those expectations. He’s Roman Princeford, popular, theatre prodigy, the king-of-the-school. 

So instead, Roman answers with a half-truth, like always. Yeah I guess so. My dad’s no longer a homophobic piece of shit and has mostly come to terms with the fact I’m gay

That problem was the only one people knew about. That problem was resolved. Besides, Roman liked having it out in the open. This way, he got younger kids, freshmen, sophomores, even some juniors or sometimes middle schoolers coming up to him, telling him that they looked up to him. Telling him that it was so cool that he came out. No one could relate to a perfect person. That story was Roman’s flaw, the chip in his armor that showed everyone that he could have problems too. 

ah that must’ve sucked 

Shoving his mind out of places he would rather not go, Roman texts back, Yeah kinda 

There’s a few minutes of silence. Not wanting the conversation to end, Roman asks, How were people’s reactions to your coming out? When Virgil had come out, it wasn’t the talk of the school like when Roman did. In fact, he didn’t even know about it until a week after when Patton told him. 

well my mom was completely accepting and was the first one i told, actually. my parents are divorced so i still haven’t told my dad. he’s uber religious so idk how that’s going to go down. my extended family on my mom’s side all know and there are a few cousins on my dad’s side that i’ve sworn to secrecy. Roman had met some religious fanatics who insisted on telling him all the reasons he was going to Hell. Those conversations were never fun. He winces on behalf of Virgil and how that conversation with his dad might go down.

God, being gay is fabulous and all, but sometimes it really is annoying, Roman muses. He sighs; at that moment he was so done with all the problems he and others had to face on a daily basis for simply existing.

i guess so, Virgil responds. Roman can almost feel the thick indifference through the phone screen. Being completely dead to the world was something Roman would never understand. Just watching things happen seems so impossible to him. He’s always had a great amount of passion, sometimes to the point where he would do anything to stand up for what he believed in.

But he’d also learned when and how to shut up, a skill that had taken a long time to master. This is one of those times. As much as Roman would like to convince Virgil that he couldn’t just stand by and accept the homophobia, he didn’t think that would make Virgil like him any more.

Needing to say it once more before the conversation ends, Roman says, I am really sorry for middle school. It wasn’t until late eighth grade that Roman realized how much of an impact his words could have on someone. A day doesn’t go by where he doesn’t regret it. If only I could take all those years back, he wishes. This wasn’t the first time he’d thought that.

yeah, yeah, i get it, princey. The annoyance the text conveys wasn’t angry, like Roman would’ve assumed. It feels almost friendly, which makes Roman very hopeful. Maybe Virgil could grow to like Roman after all. Maybe his foolish dreams and feelings aren’t entirely foolish. 

you’re forgiven

Yes, maybe the path Roman thought his crush would lead him on isn’t as full of pain and heartbreak as he had previously believed. It’s possible that, maybe, if Roman is lucky, it could result in something quite wonderful.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #prinxiety #logicality #deceit x remus #sanders sides #high school au #fanfiction #fanfic #one day...

[spooky-raccoon]

His Shirt (Rufo One Shot)

Just the idea of Rufo catching his S/O wearing his shirt in the morning.  This originally just a short one shot idea but it ended up being 2k words.  Oops.

Rufo X Female Reader

Tag List: @lifesbigmistery​ @chii2blog​ @the-clown-crypt​ @booklover2929​

        Rufo woke up that morning, a little groggier than usual but it was his first night back home after a longer than usual job.  Of course with coming back he had to make sure his girl had some fresh marks and remind her who she belonged too.  As he woke up he realized that his baby doll wasn’t beside him.  Perhaps she had to get up to use the restroom?  That was always her first prerogative, even at the crack of dawn.  Or she got up early to make them breakfast?  That was something she loved to do when he was back. He swear sometimes she was trying to get him to gain some weight on his bones.  He couldn’t find his shirt that he had worn the night before, but he did pull on his sweatpants so he could walk through the home.  He didn’t bother with his human skin, he didn’t need to when he was at home.  Home. Besides, she always loved his true appearance more.  It was nice to his clowny self instead of having to keep it hidden away.

        He had a pleasant smile on his face when he strolled into the kitchen and that’s where he spotted her.  He had been right on his guess that she was making them breakfast.  Her back was too him and she had some music playing quietly enough that he hadn’t heard it from the bedroom which he could hear she was humming along too.  Dream Lover from Bobby Darin, a personal favorite of the two.  You could even say it was their song, but he wouldn’t say that just yet at least.  She was also wearing his shirt.  It was rather cute since it was so large on her.  It just barely covered her ass, accentuating it nicely.  She had to roll up the sleeves so she could mix the pancake batter that I could see her working on.  A smile grew on his face as he just admired the way she did her little bopping to the song and listened to her as she sang along.  

        As the song ended that’s when he made his move.  He was quiet as he slipped up behind her and then slid his long arms around her waist.  She jumped in his arms, letting out a loud gasp, even a tiny yelp.  He loved those the most.  

       “Did I spook you there doll?  My bad.”  He chuckled by her ear and she gave him a playful swat that was accompanied with a small huff.

        “Rufo, it’s a good thing I wasn’t cooking just yet.  Would have given me a burn.”  He watched her over her shoulder as she got back to stirring. That’s when he let his hand travel down to her hip and lift up the shirt just barely.  His finger then traced over a small rose he had burned into her skin the last time he had visited.  He had wanted to make it clear to her that she was his now.  A little bit of a branding.  He could tell by the touch it had healed well which pleased him.

        “I’ve already done that doll.  I remember you liking it a lot too.”  He let out a laugh as he set the shirt back down and held her tighter. “Whatcha making for us this morning, hm?”

        He could see her cheeks starting to turn pink and even with his hold on her, she managed to fidget a little bit.  Signs she was getting turned on by his light teasing.  He had learned her little ticks and even the bigger ones that really got her going rather quickly.  He enjoyed pushing her buttons, seeing the little reactions on her face. They were cute and they gave him thoughts.  Plenty of thoughts just like now.  Especially as he watched his barely buttoned up shirt on her expose more of her chest as she wiggled.  He could see some of the fresh bites he had placed on her the night before.  They were bruising rather nicely which only made him grin wider.

        “Chocolate chip pancakes.”  Her words were quick as she grabbed the bag of chips to add to the batter.

        “That sounds deliciously sweet doll.”  

        He let her pour a decent amount into the batter and stir it in, letting her get relaxed.  Nothing wrong with a bit of false sense of security.  It only got her more worked up too.  It could make her a little bratty too and needy, but it was too early for that sort of behavior.  With the mixing done and when her hands were free he spun her around.  She couldn’t get much of a gasp out as his mouth met hers in a rough but passionate kiss.  One hand of his cupped the back of her neck and the other hand went to bring up the bottom of the shirt.  Soon her hands were pressed against his chest and he could feel her legs parting already for him.  That made him grin that demented perfect grin of his.  She was always so ready and eager to obey him, he hardly had to lift a finger.

        He pulled away from the kiss and lowered down, making sure to give her breasts that were spilling out a loving nip on top of the existing bites. It made her whine melt into a loud moan. She was so sensitive, just like how he wanted her.  He could feel her hands already slipping into his hair which he always enjoyed.  He finally settled on his knees and as he did he swung one of her legs over his shoulder, exposing herself to him.  No panties which only made him more pleased. She had learned the rules quickly. And she was already dripping wet from the little attention she had been given.

        “What a naughty thing you are baby girl.  I make you cum over and over last night and you’re still eager for me. Probably still sore too but I know you don’t mind.”  One of his hands traveled up her thigh and started to rub over her clit.  She ground into his fingers desperately with her head starting to tilt back.  She quickly brought it back forward since she knew better.  He wanted to see every little detail on her face as he pleased her.

        “O-Of course, Rufo.  You’re the only one who can make me feel s-so good.”  She only stuttered a little and her cheeks were nearly red as apples themselves.

        “Damn right, I am.”  That’s when he slid two fingers into her.  He had plenty of ease with how wet she already was.

         As he started to pump his fingers he ran his tongue over her clit, circling it and sucking on it the way she liked.  He felt her grind on his face and he let her.  It wasn’t exactly lazy morning sex but no reason to be all bite this early in the day.  He also wanted to feel her enjoying herself.  The whines and mewling she made as she tried to get closer to a climax were intoxicating.  That’s when he felt his rock-hard cock in his sweatpants twitch painfully in their constraints.  Sweatpants could only be comfortable for so long.  So he freed himself with his free hand and began to stroke himself with it while keeping up the licks.

        He decided she could cum early and he started to pump his fingers faster, curling them just a little bit so they could get her in all the right places every time.  That really got her going.  Her head thrown back as she cried out.  Her hands firmly gripping and tugging on his hair that made him moan out.  His tongue worked it’s magic and it didn’t take much longer for her to come undone above him.  He had to stop his stroking and hold her hip to keep her steady as she bucked and writhed on his face.  He made sure she was done and coming down from her climax before pulling his fingers out then licking them clean.  He always loved the way she tasted and lost herself into the pleasure he gave her.

        With his fingers clean he gently set her leg down and stood up. Her arms naturally moved around his shoulders as he came up which made it easier as he picked her up.  He had a firm grip on her ass as her legs swung to be around his waist.  They still had a slight shake to them which made him chuckle lowly.  She was still eager despite just having an orgasm.  She couldn’t get enough of him and truth be told, he couldn’t get enough of her either.  It was never enough for him before he had to leave again.  So he took one of the few moments to really enjoy the feeling of sinking her down onto his cock.  Her walls were still pulsing and that made him let out a low growl like groan.

        In the middle of the kitchen he bounced her up and down on his cock. Their foreheads pressed together, half lidded eyes hazed over with lust and passion staring back into the others. Moans, whines, and grunts was all that was heard between the slapping of skin to skin.  Neither of them had even noticed the loud thump on the door when the morning paper hit it.  Nothing outside of the kitchen mattered at that moment.  In between his grunts and huffs he purred sweet words to her, telling her how good she felt around him, that she was his and he would be damned if anyone tried to change that, how much he enjoyed fucking her.  She couldn’t say much back but she hung onto every word, making small attempt to reply which gave him his smirk.  And the more he fucked into her the more her words were getting strained.  She was getting close again and he could feel it.  He could feel himself get close to with the tightness in his balls getting more intense.  That was fine.

        He doubled his efforts and that’s when she let out her screams. Not in pain but in ecstasy as her body rushed to its second climax.  It didn’t take long for her to go over the edge once more, soaking his cock and tightening around it for all her worth.  Her legs that were around his waist squeezed him and stuttered their hold.  That spelled the end for him.  His face turned into a snarl has he slammed her down a few more times before sinking fully into her, letting himself cum inside her.  He rolled his own head back as he bucked up with each pump of his cock, feeling his cum join with her own fluids.  She whimpered softly as she was starting to come down from the sensation again, her head falling onto his shoulder.  He could hear her breathing hard and her heart thumping against his chest.  His beat hard with hers and it was a moment together where everything felt right.  When he felt like his legs could move again he sat her down on the table by them.

       “You get cleaned up real quick doll.  I’ll take over breakfast than we can shower together so we can start our day.”  He planted a soft kiss on her cheek while brushing some hair to the side to tuck it behind her ear.  Her cheeks were even redder than before and even the tip of her ears.  He wish he could just study her face right then.

       She left with a nod and he watched as she went, pleased to watch his cum start to make its way down her leg.  It was one of his favorite sights to see.  He got himself tucked back into the sweatpants after some cleaning on himself and turned his attention to making them some coffee along with their pancakes.  Now he could add to the list of favorites things of her in his shirt.  He made a mental note to leave some behind for her for when he had to leave again.  That made him smile.

#rufo #rufo the clown #rufo: his shirt #rufo the clown: his shirt #rufo one shot #rufo the clown one shot #rufo fan fic #rufo the clown fanfic #serenity falls #smile no more #one bad week

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: we forgot another one off the 💀💀💀 list Jimmy: you gonna stick or twist? Janis: 👊 me if you give a shit Janis: need all the ways at my disposal Jimmy: here you are then, hot glue gun Janis: 🤔 Janis: sounds like a bit of 💀👑 & 💀#2 if you take it to your 🗢 and slowly starve Janis: still leaning towards 🔪 personally Jimmy: Alright, I'll invite them over Jimmy: keep your jealousy in check, my dear Janis: Jealous of you or them? Jimmy: ain't goals either way Janis: Neither is you taking up crafting, tbh so Janis: why have you got a hot glue gun? Jimmy: these cotton wool balls won't stick themselves to a 👕 Jimmy: gotta get 'em on before 💀👑 and 💀#2 think I've put snacks on Janis: 🤢 Janis: new 😎 look? Janis: 👎 Jimmy: piss off, this 🥉💡's nowt to do with me Janis: Who's is it? Janis: they ain't wasting snacks Jimmy: dunno, some other dickhead online whose kid don't wanna be a 🐑 an' all Janis: Ohh Janis: one of the more creative nativity outfits too, unlucky Janis: no tinfoil 👑s or dubious tea towels Jimmy: still looks shit enough to make our kid 😭 Janis: and you ain't got enough days to ship a probably shittier version from China Janis: alright, hold on Jimmy: I get that you live in the middle of nowt but nicking a 🐑 for #inspo ain't gonna help Janis: yeah, way to ruin my fun Janis: but my ma has had enough kids to have some ideas so you owe me for how 🥱 but informative this will be Jimmy: be a right laugh for you, be another pet I didn't ask for and have to piss about with Janis: or sunday lunch Janis: pessimist Jimmy: he's 😭 already, dickhead Janis: and I thought you northerners were meant to be hard Janis: grim and that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: Anyway, you want me to surprise you with the 🥇💡 or do you just want the lowdown on where to go Jimmy: depends Janis: on? Jimmy: if I can unstick myself or need your 💪🏆 Janis: 😏 Janis: how about I get on the bus to town now Janis: and if you manage to deal with your sticky fingers before I get there, then you can go? Jimmy: how's your ankle? Janis: not even on the scale now Jimmy: might be after you've put your foot down 🚍💣 Janis: Keanu could untangle you in 90 minutes, I reckon Janis: easy Jimmy: he ain't been pissing about 🐕🏃 Jimmy: how many you done? Janis: loads Janis: 💸 'cos the gifts don't buy 'em selves and the 🐕 owners are too busy sticking cotton balls to t-shirts, clearly 🎄✨ Jimmy: nice one, Janet Jimmy: now I'LL have to keep my jealousy in check while you put your 🦶 up on some other 🚍 riding knobhead Janis: only fair Janis: especially as you've reminded me how rammed that fucking bus is gonna be now Jimmy: I'll give one of my 👮 mates a bell to get you a 🚔 escort, hang on Janis: 😍 the perks Janis: there had to be some Jimmy: 🤡 perks off you Jimmy: won't be no struggle getting yourself on that 🚍 however full it is Janis: I'm pretty flexible Janis: contortionist might be a bold claim but 💪🏆 Jimmy: but it ain't a proper flex til I say it Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: that's a fake flex Janis: don't need you for nothing Jimmy: after what happened on the assault course it'd sound like a real pisstake Janis: 1. that's agility if it's anything 2. also your fault Jimmy: never said it weren't, just how it'd sound Janis: No need to tell me what it 🔊 like Janis: the DMs are on the up again, yeah? Janis: same Jimmy: tis the season Janis: cutting it a bit fine to get a decent gift out of it Janis: but I suppose the couply selfies you can take are a close 🥈 for them Jimmy: can't keep the receipt on chlamydia but you can blag you went somewhere nice for the hols Janis: girls are actually demented Janis: at least no lad is gonna try and put me in matching knitwear and make me meet his nan Jimmy: 🥇💡 idea though I'll get you a #goals gift that ain't a trip to the cemetery Janis: oh yeah Janis: I'll get you something as well, even though I'm not required to try as hard Jimmy: stick a 🎀 on yourself and have done Jimmy: what the rest of the lasses do Janis: yeah literally Janis: as long as I heavily imply I'm gonna suck your dick, all is well, all is #goals Jimmy: 👍 Janis: but if you don't do good that # is gonna be a read Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: even if you get out the glue after me Janis: you can come to the shops too Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say even if you give me the glue gun #regifted Janis: I mean Janis: not quite handcuffs Jimmy: fuck's sake babe, let me leave my work at work Janis: fine Janis: the 🚔 escort will as you won't Jimmy: you and your stolen 🐑 Jimmy: dead romantic, that Janis: I'm not from the middle of nowhere, tah Janis: 🐑shagging isn't a hobby Jimmy: back to the drawing board for our fake break up Janis: all the shite songs they pump out have plenty of inspo in 'em Jimmy: nowt I don't know about 🎄🎵 been forced to hear 'em since November Janis: 💔 gutted Jimmy: no chance of 🎻 Janis: how have you not fully lost it yet Janis: only a few days to go Jimmy: how'd you know I've not? Janis: I'd have heard of a mass shooting Janis: not that out of it Janis: also my sister wouldn't be about no more which would be a bigger giveaway Jimmy: 👻 letdowns Jimmy: worst I can do is rattle a few cups Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I'm used to it Janis: the friendmas organisation is in full swing Janis: 🤡🔫 Jimmy: where's my invite? Janis: OMG, no boys allowed! 🚫 Janis: though bets on Mia breaking her own rule there just to torture Grace Jimmy: I'll 👗👠💄 and be a prettier lass than any of them Janis: 😍 what kind of fake gf would disagree Janis: aside from the fact that ain't a stretch on a good day Jimmy: tah Jimmy: when is it? Janis: [some day as close to xmas as you are allowed 'cos pretending we're such good mates like okay] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: like, no offence or anything, babes Janis: but I don't see you passing REALLY 😬 Janis: and even they might notice they've picked up another desperado Jimmy: 1. piss off would I not 2. call it my 🎁 seeing the look on 💀👑 when I bring her 🎄 cake Janis: it would be decent craic Janis: they never do it at ours though Jimmy: typical, that, can't get sodding rid the rest of the year Jimmy: have to get us an 💌 then, won't I Jimmy: hang on Janis: I get it Janis: you miss Asia Janis: don't think 💀👑 has 'em do team-building exercises 💔💔💔 Jimmy: yeah, cupid's arrow's got nowt on falling on your arse when the ground's near froze Jimmy: reminded me of home 😍😍😍 Janis: she's well considerate like that Janis: not so braindead after-all Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: don't wanna give 💀👑 the 🎁 of seeing I've had to flirt with her to crash their bollocks festivities Janis: can't play into her hands that hard Janis: keep your 😍😍😍 focused in the right direction Jimmy: 🚍 Janis: yes, this is your driver speaking Jimmy: be a 🚑 if your mum ain't cracked on to a way I can chuck this glue gun Janis: I've sorted it Janis: well my sister's shit taste in fashion helped Jimmy: usually get 💰 for 3rd degree burns, me Jimmy: how's that for a flex? Janis: You made a rod for your own back being the artsy one or what? Jimmy: weren't gonna let a 6 year old have a go, were I? Janis: and it's not Ian's thing Jimmy: dunno where he is Jimmy: might be work, might be the pub Jimmy: be a better shout to give it over to my sister, anger issues an' all, any road Janis: you can put it down and get yourself a drink now Janis: all I need you to have is a black marker, which I know you do Jimmy: #whenshereallygetsyou Jimmy: 🥃 cheers Janis: you know those sherpa jackets they all have Janis: makes them look like a giant 🧸 but not in the adorbs way they're hoping Janis: Penneys has loads of them, get a paper plate, glue it on the hood and colour it in black, cut another in half for the ears and ta-da Janis: and I'll just take the jacket so no need to pay me back Janis: only in favours, obviously Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: IOU enough 🚬 to send that cheap shite up in flames, I get it Janis: yeah, probably don't string some fairylights round his neck as well Janis: would've taken hers but it's almost pink and I reckoned that'd just make him 😭 more Jimmy: you'd have to nick them an' all for him to be in any danger Jimmy: and what kind of fake boyfriend would let you up on the neighbour's roof with that ankle Janis: you want some lights? Janis: it's the easiest shop to borrow from Janis: they must have some that aren't shaped like the 🍆 emoji or a fucking unicorn Jimmy: 💔 I ain't coming with, you've really sold it to me Janis: oh, duh Janis: you call it primark Janis: it's hell on earth, you'd love it Janis: when they ain't guzzling your over-priced coffee, they're getting fast fashion made by little slave kids 💖 so cute Jimmy: hang on, why the fuck do you call it something different? Jimmy: now I have to come, not gonna knit an ugly jumper myself and nan's 💀💀💀 Janis: adds to our delightful charm? I don't know Janis: imagine the atrocities Janis: I'm gonna find the best, by which I mean WORST, one Jimmy: I'll meet you there Jimmy: be enough dickheads to follow if I get lost Janis: follow the knock-off UGGs they've trashed in the rain and snow Jimmy: hot Jimmy: don't get enough wet 🐕 smell off of you as is or owt Janis: err fuck off Janis: I haven't even got a dog, you have Jimmy: I have nowt to do with it, you can't move for 🐕🐾💩 Janis: 1. I don't fucking smell, dickhead 2. you're well opposed to me showering so you'd have yourself to blame if I did Jimmy: I'll nick you a 🦽 and you can do what you like Jimmy: many cold 🚿 as you need, mate Janis: you just want me to freeze now Janis: and your ⛓ kink hasn't got any less blatant Jimmy: weren't the way you wanna 💀💀💀 Janis: It ain't Janis: so your genius plan better include a way to warm me up Jimmy: might do Janis: the ugly jumper don't count Janis: cheap shit, as mentioned Jimmy: don't remember chucking it in the ring as my 💡 Janis: I don't wanna dress up as a sheep neither 😏 Jimmy: 💔 you'd be a well fit and mysterious one Janis: the racial undertones of ba ba black sheep have already been pointed out Janis: very on the nose Jimmy: I ain't got as far as black facing our kid, what more do you want? Janis: yeah, minorities are WELL demanding like that Jimmy: that'll be why Ian's steering well clear Janis: 💔💔 of course Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: thank god this is fake dating Janis: don't need a get out situation, tah Jimmy: knew you were protesting too much about the ⛓ Jimmy: you love it, Jules Jimmy: don't even need the stockholm syndrome to kick in Janis: not so much I wanna try it with your dad Janis: that's more 💀👑 gig Jimmy: UGH FINE we won't pass you round Janis: 😂 you're vile Jimmy: 💕 Janis: not as bad as some of the 'people' on this bus though Janis: won't be too hard to pretend to be glad to see you, in case any of the herd as in Penneys Janis: glad to breathe clean air more like but 🤫 Jimmy: 🚭 I get it Jimmy: very subtle Janis: easier to get you to cut down if I just take half Janis: but alright Jimmy: stop having a go at my stamina, dickhead Janis: make me Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 🏃 after your 🚍 ain't the way to go about it Janis: Impressive but also stalkerish, yeah Jimmy: turning every dickhead there into a fan ain't clearing either of our DMs Janis: I doubt all these 👵👴 have Instas Janis: but the single mums with the screaming kids, definitely Janis: don't wanna ponder the creepy guy at the back Jimmy: but have you double checked it ain't Lucas in a disguise? Jimmy: he'll be missing you SO bad by now Janis: 😱😱 Janis: my hopes? ⬆️ Jimmy: 🎁's have begun, Jasmine Janis: Good Janis: I do expect one every day tbh 💅 Jimmy: alright Janis: that's a joke though Jimmy: don't have to be Jimmy: 🏆🥇 me Janis: only if you're gonna steal 'em all Janis: don't need to waste real money for the fake #goals Jimmy: DUH Janis: then proceed Janis: I can slowly just put them in Grace's room, I'm sure Jimmy: we could use the glue gun to stick 'em to her ceiling Janis: now you're talking 😍 Jimmy: do 💀👑 an' all if that's where their friendmas is but probably need a ladder to reach her ceilings Jimmy: no standing on the bed when you're 💰💰💰 Janis: You love to carry me, I'll get on your shoulders Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I think it's at hers Janis: maybe 💀#2 but none of the others want their houses and lives judged that hard so they opt out Jimmy: we'll be able to get some more blackmail material either way Janis: Did you seriously get an invite? Jimmy: are you actually doubting me or what? Janis: I know Asia's thick as shit but Janis: what did you say? Jimmy: [sends her the messages cos it seriously wouldn't be hard since the flatwhites think everyone wants to be their BFFs even though the opposite is true, so all he'd have to do is be like soz about the school trip we're just SO IN LOVE WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES] Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: fairplay but 🤢 🤮 🤧 😷 🤒 🤕 new scale needed Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: where are you? Janis: Do you actually know your way about yet or? Janis: I'm still a bit away, though, if that's what you mean Jimmy: I did mean on your new 🤢 🤮 🤧 😷 🤒 🤕 scale Janis: 🤕 then Janis: clearly Janis: you? Jimmy: 🤮 Jimmy: weren't talking to 💀👑 Jimmy: directly anyway Janis: She'd not have said yes Janis: unless she's got some pig blood just waiting, like Jimmy: she's so #invested in our 💘 she'd say yeah near enough whatever I said Jimmy: probably reckons she can 💔 us before the pudding's served Jimmy: her 🥇💡'll be to have Asia in a sexy santa outfit ready to crack onto me or some bollocks Janis: nah, seriously Janis: wanna talk pimps Janis: one of Asia's only uses Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: I'll take my 🎻 Janis: as long as it don't look like you're 💔 you can't go there, fine by me Jimmy: I get that none of them can read body language but facial expressions are a bit easier Janis: and you are so expressive Janis: 😒😎 Jimmy: for you, baby, the 😎'll be off Jimmy: nowt to do with the 🌧 and 🌨 Janis: 😳😖🤤🥴 Janis: so many expressions 🏆 Jimmy: Oi, I wanted to give you the 🏆 Jimmy: pissed on today's 🎁 Janis: 😮 there's me, still acting surprised Janis: you can't say you're gonna give me something then not Jimmy: SUCH range, you Jimmy: where would I steal a 🏆 from? nah, you'll get something Janis: I take my wins in many forms Janis: you can just tell me Janis: that'll work Jimmy: you can just wait Janis: 🥺 Janis: original scale Jimmy: it'll be worth it Jimmy: famous last words Janis: can poison the dish we have to bring Janis: if you're ready to go 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I don't wanna go with them Jimmy: just you Janis: I can promise it'll be worth it then too Jimmy: alright Janis: am gonna make that meal fucking inedible for them Janis: even if it's coming straight back up in most cases Janis: and fucking with them however else we can  💭 Jimmy: 🤞 Bill's 👻 knows some others, Dickens would be a good shout to keep things on brand 🎄 Jimmy: but whether he do or don't I've had loads of piss poor dinners Jimmy: Ian knows how to pick well #goals girlfriends Janis: think he'd be the 'what's the point in you if you can't cook n clean?' type Janis: being mysterious runs in the family, clearly Jimmy: beggars can't be choosers, mate Jimmy: slim pickings round that office when you've already been done for harassment Janis: 😬 Janis: need to talk to Mia's dad, work out the legality of being a perv with no repercussions Jimmy: how he tells it he's had loads 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: woe's him Janis: woe's the stupid bitches still going there after, more like Janis: have a word, ladies Jimmy: sort your heads out Sharons Jimmy: need a new mum who's got her shit together, tah very much Janis: one who's handy with a hot glue gun Jimmy: or a sewing machine, why the fuck not dream big? Janis: steady on Janis: #mommygoals isn't a hashtag I wanna endorse Jimmy: 😏 Janis: take mine, if you like Jimmy: bit weird Janis: I only 🐕🏃 Janis: cooking, cleaning, hot glueing, not services I provide, soz Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: more #goals to be fuming about your mother in law Janis: easily done Jimmy: with my mum an' all, soz you'll have to take my word for it Janis: you're unlikely to see mine Janis: unless you have a banging selection of herbal teas Jimmy: gutted she don't wanna see her 🐑💡 brought to life on stage Janis: reckon turning up when you ain't got a kid in it gets you on a register, no? Janis: my dad coulda, sure some of his spawn are performing too but alas Janis: she didn't have that many 🥈 Jimmy: Ian's seat's going spare is all, obvs it were front and centre, dad of the year that he is Janis: what's he got on? Janis: latest disciplinary Janis: is your brother gutted? Jimmy: he'd be gutted if I weren't there Jimmy: what a #humblebrag Janis: good thing you can be arsed then Janis: and you have a sister too, right? Jimmy: dragging her along, kicking and marding 💪🏆 Janis: know the feeling Janis: bribe her with maccies after and tell him it's a treat for being a ⭐ Janis: everyone's buzzing Jimmy: what've you got on? Janis: me and my absolutely packed schedule? Janis: only 🐕🏃 ain't far off, aside from what I wanna, which can be done any time I want, of course Jimmy: nowt 🥇 about mine but we could edit it to look like we're #livingourbestlives Jimmy: I live right by the school, you could wait for me there, take some 📷 or whatever Janis: It's actually not an awful shout Janis: they're all obsessed with the cute kid thing Janis: and actually, Asia might be there with hers so Janis: very goals Jimmy: do try and put it out my head there's more than one set of those 🦷🦷 about Jimmy: fuck it, come then Jimmy: least I know you'll be sitting down Janis: 😂 fuck marrying a doctor, she's gotta find a dentist, for the whole family's sake Janis: I'm not coming in a 🦽 though Janis: that's a bit much Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: just admit you want me to carry you, girl Janis: behave Janis: might not be OUR teachers, but they'll have no issue telling you off, I'm sure Jimmy: donkey'd be a bit much but as fake pregnancy announcements go, top tier Janis: so gutted I can't fake labour and give birth to the new lord and saviour Janis: really steal the show Jimmy: could if it's Lucas' and you're making a Christmas cuck of me Janis: um, it's God's Janis: keep up Jimmy: sure it is Janis: 😱 Janis: didn't catch Joseph acting up like this Jimmy: didn't give him any lines, did they? Janis: I think he gets to ask if there's any room at the inn Jimmy: Oi mate, give us a 🛏 Jimmy: brought my own ⛓ like Janis: don't even get a break mid-labour Janis: hardcore Janis: weren't you Joseph in your nativity then? Jimmy: that your guess? Janis: yeah, I reckon Jimmy: what were you? Janis: just a generic angel Janis: was going to be one of the wise men but grace threw a fit if we weren't exactly the same Janis: tah for the downgrade Jimmy: if they could 👀 you now Jimmy: oscar worthy fake girlfriend performance day in, day out Janis: obviously they didn't see my potential like you, babe Janis: she might have legitimately tried to murder me if I got to be Mary 😂 no she weren't a twin, like Jimmy: I actually were one of the wise men, soz, sweetheart Jimmy: could've been #fated Janis: bet you was frankincense 'cos you could say big words Janis: I'm so 😭 honestly Jimmy: as roleplays go, not my top choice, but owt for you, babe Janis: if anything is a test of how well you can fake it Jimmy: you testing me? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: if we have the time to make THREE costumes instead of one Janis: I highly doubt it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: tin foil 👑 weren't it? Janis: yeah, and some kind of bedsheet robe, bit of tinsel Janis: sorted Jimmy: bet they have a 👸🏽 I can nick for you if your description of that shop were owt to go by Janis: definitely Janis: even if the hen party ones have L plates and dicks over 'em, the Disney ones should be a bit more nativity appropriate Jimmy: steal the show piss easy Janis: LOVE making little kids cry, obvs Jimmy: same Jimmy: just ain't as good when they're deaf, you can't get the volume out of 'em Jimmy: gutted we didn't end up with one who always shouts, obvs Janis: I'm gonna assume you got that deaf free pass and not go there myself Jimmy: safer to take owt I say with  🧂🤏 Jimmy: all fake anyway this Janis: ain't forgotten, you're alright Jimmy: didn't hit your head, I remember Janis: wouldn't tell you if I had Janis: the drama'd be too much Jimmy: I'd have worked that much out Jimmy: northern and only a bit thick Janis: 😵😵 Jimmy: no excuses, pisshead Janis: I know, I know Janis: you pride yourself on being 🏆💪 at the whole fake caring bf thing Jimmy: you saying I'm not? Janis: didn't say that, nah Jimmy: what then? Janis: what do you mean what? Janis: nothing Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're lucky you live in town Jimmy: about the only thing mine's got going for it Janis: yeah Janis: this bus ride has nothing though so take the 🍀 Jimmy: how long? Janis: gimme 15 Jimmy: [gives her whatever he's drawn her for the first advent doodle because I was hoping to find something but I've been cockblocked] Jimmy: [maybe it's her as a lil bub wise man though now cos live your dreams] Janis: [love that, when you dunno what to say for a hot sec so you post it first being fake but lowkey having to tell the real story somewhat 'cos like, why and what else so it can't be that fake] Janis: you are good at art, give you that Jimmy: @ Ms Howe Jimmy: 💰 on her having a real account but dunno what it is Jimmy: @artteacheroveralls73 Jimmy: @reasonswhyloadsofartistsareproblematic Jimmy: @ihatenortherners86 Janis: you aren't her fave? Janis: 💔 Janis: cliche affair could've cut out any need for fake dating Jimmy: not a lass with a bowl cut and 🖌 behind her 👂 Janis: you've got the same type Janis: bummer Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😂 Janis: we can say it is Janis: maybe one of 'em will chop off all their hair Jimmy: you'd have to an' all Jimmy: unless you're that 🥇 I've binned off my type Janis: Precisely Janis: no competition Jimmy: what's yours then? just 👴 who teach you or what? Janis: must be Janis: not a lesbian and that's the other guess Jimmy: 👍 Janis: tah Janis: well affirming Jimmy: didn't need telling that you weren't gay Jimmy: not that good of an actress Janis: rude Janis: basically got an oscar Jimmy: off who? Jimmy: don't count if you give it to yourself, Judith Janis: you Jimmy: you've had nowt off me but that top quality 🎨 Janis: only because you can't find a 🏆 to give me Jimmy: 'cause it's up to me what I give you Jimmy: and as rewards go, I can do better Janis: I like the drawing Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: you can have it, instead of just a 📷 if you want Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: what do you actually want Janis: in return Jimmy: what's #goals? Jimmy: other than all this nativity bollocks Janis: true, very selfless of me Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: weren't wrong about the 👼🏽 casting even if you were fuming Janis: I can fake 👼🏽 yeah Janis: but it's not really that selfless with all the #content we'll be getting Jimmy: still, I'll leave off taking your halo for a bit Janis: 'til you get me my 👸🏽 Jimmy: only fair Jimmy: can't fit a bobble hat over a head that big and with all that hair an' all Janis: still not getting a bowl cut Janis: let it go, babe Jimmy: good Jimmy: hard enough to fake the 😍 as you are Janis: yeah right Janis: hear the 🎻 from here Jimmy: play them like you mean them, babe Janis: if you wanted this to be easy for you Janis: should've picked an art hoe you could get properly 😍 over Jimmy: you're alright, a lass like that wouldn't be impressed by owt like a quick 🖋🎨 Janis: so now I'm TOO easy, yeah? Jimmy: not a tweet I'll be sending but Janis: fuck you either way Janis: just because I'm doing my job 🥇 you're gonna have a go Janis: thank me, more like Jimmy: fucking me regardless is something an easy lass would do 😏 Janis: yeah but I only fuck you 'cos you're the perfect little boyfriend so don't matter Janis: no one knows how much of a colossal dickhead you are, remember Jimmy: be about right Janis: you haven't bumped your head and forgotten the plan neither Jimmy: not yet, like Jimmy: but hell on earth were what you said Janis: if you get in way of a big mammy and her Christmas deals, you might be in luck of a fair smack, yeah Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: good 'cos I won't be saving you Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: entertain yourself Jimmy: easy Janis: contrary to your opinion, not obsessed with your 🍆 or what you do with it Jimmy: got an inbox full of lasses who are, I'll live Janis: yeah, you're loving it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [a picture of him waiting for her wherever the bus comes in doing his own 🙄 because he's a nerd and also he's never gonna just wait for her outside the shop when THAT ankle] Janis: Wow, if you're gonna leave, politer ways to 💔 Jimmy: ruder ways an' all Janis: idk Janis: quite rude, that Jimmy: is it? Janis: suppose I don't have to fake my 😍 at your mug right now Jimmy: there you go then Janis: Not going to say thank you still Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: you don't need to wait though Jimmy: can't chuck myself under the 🚍 til it gets in Janis: not how you wanted it Janis: or how I said I'd do it Jimmy: never said it'd 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: you want a 🦽 or what? Janis: you want matching Janis: alright Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: I quite like walking but you know Janis: as you like it Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: bit more nursing and you'll be well away Janis: you gonna let me go then? Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: not gonna have a choice Janis: thought you might finish the job Janis: 🦶🪓 Jimmy: did cross my mind Janis: No shit, Kathy Janis: the kink is blatant Jimmy: you could do worse, Lucas ain't gonna let you piss about in bed all day when it's his turn Janis: 🤤🤤 Janis: I like the challenge Jimmy: #blessed Janis: counting down the days Janis: #tilwemeetagain Jimmy: 🤞 you'll have him all to yourself in detention Jimmy: no tah needed Janis: you heard anything yet? Jimmy: he ain't using that for why he's not bothered to crack on with crafting a 🐑 costume Janis: 👎 Janis: he's gonna look cute Janis: not your dad Jimmy: I get it, no need for a poor man's Lucas when you can have the real thing 🥇 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: [better show up gal] Jimmy: [resist the urge to immediately pick her up please sir] Janis: [when you're awkward like it's been ages just because there's been like a night or a day whatever reprieve love it, just like let us get to primark to get this sheep costume moment hun] Jimmy: [are we doing both on mobility scooters or him pushing her in a wheelchair/trolley because v different vibes but both iconic] Janis: [hmm, I assume their Dublin store would be big so I reckon we could go mobility scooter, you would find that more fun once you get into it too] Jimmy: [love that just don't do a me and knock a whole display of bras over yourself] Janis: [I did say we threw our bra on Mia's head so let's not reclaim that for yourself hen, though I do find them difficult to drive as someone who hasn't needed to so it will be carnage, like Primark at xmas isn't already hehe] Jimmy: [10000% am gonna say he takes off her shoes and won't give them back so instead puts on some OTT christmas slippers that are shaped like a xmas pudding or some nonsense because she's been on that ankle too much honey and we are cross] Janis: [we do not love ourselves or our lives enough to take a break so it's tea also that is amusant so yes because shan't be buying and that's the kind of mankiness you can expect from this shop or any high street one lowkey] Jimmy: [literally just gonna chuck them back on the floor or leave them in this scooter basket soz not soz, she's not walking around they won't get too trashed hens] Janis: [peeps do go feral so so can you lads, not to mention taking the piss out of all the weird things they put on clothes 'cos it do be wild] Jimmy: [they are gonna have a lovely time taking the piss out of everything and everyone tbh] Janis: [there should be peeps from school in there but like randoms so not enough to warrant a full show but as an excuse you barely need for couplish behaviour when spotted] Jimmy: [great idea cos you know there would be loads of peeps out shopping rn odds on some of them you vaguely recognise, I vote for some art hoes for the lols] Janis: [ha some art hoes out with their fam or something I live] Jimmy: [aesthetically doing the most haha] Janis: [just immaturely like there's your real girlfriend] Jimmy: [will get you with this scooter like they're bumper cars like oi] Janis: [when you don't know her name obvs so you're just shouting out really pisstakey ones like oi clem oi wren etc] Jimmy: [can't not lol] Janis: [sorry to this girl but we're not, just don't trash these scooters that we're using to bump into him/everyone/everything] Jimmy: [also not sorry for whatever he's chucking at her as the mood takes him] Janis: [just don't chuck that stripper jumper or we'll actually be raging] Jimmy: [can't wait for your jumper try on sesh when we reach that section lads] Janis: [oh lawd] Jimmy: [they should try on like onesies and all sorts so we have to have a full big disabled changing room moment] Janis: [the filmsy excuse like must you? yes obvs] Jimmy: [we live for a flimsy excuse in this era] Jimmy: [actually gutted the flatwhites aren't here because they have beds set up with xmas covers etc in the big primarks imagine the show they could've put on] Janis: [we must be prepping our low-cal xmas meal lmao] Jimmy: [Asia won't be making her sister's donkey outfit] Janis: [lmaooooooooooooooo what else can you do in a primark hmm] Jimmy: [I don't think we can get decs cos they all suck we're gonna have to steal them from elsewhere] Janis: [that fine, any other shop will have some that aren't horrific, primark might have the kind of make your own vibe that Bobby would like] Jimmy: [aww that'd be cute] Janis: [you crafty boi, you'd also know how to do it without a kit girl so if you wanna come through you can, as for primark, we probably get the vibe, unless there's anything specific we wanna say/do?} Jimmy: [I think we've covered it so you can go back to his gaff and construct this 🐑 lewk] Janis: [at least we've made your life 10x easier with this coat, also gonna be the first time you've been to his so probably just hanging about outside like am I leaving now or] Jimmy: [will carry you over the threshold like that was what was stopping you coming in even though he blatantly doesn't need help & make you tea so we can have that milk two sugars revelation] Janis: [just like sup bitch to Twix] Jimmy: [the beginning of the real love story] Janis: [not like we're pure awkward and like hi dog this I can do right at least] Jimmy: [I hope they've found a christmas jumper for you too Twix cos there's no festive cheer in this gaff] Janis: [casually assess how many decs we gotta get, also dread to think the jumpers you've ended up with] Jimmy: [give her that doodle you did and dramatically sign it like a nerd] Janis: [🙄but 😏 'get famous and I'll flog it'] Jimmy: ['you've posted it, bound to get insta famous' cue a fake dramatic scroll through his phone] Janis: ['if you have to put a word before it, it don't count' and mimes shooting him in the chest 'cos insta fame is all we have hunny] Jimmy: [does an OTT death scene] Janis: [twix will be trampling all over you like oh hey what you doing down here] Jimmy: [😒 but we secretly love her really] Janis: [just like it's your own fault boy but putting out a hand to help him up] Jimmy: [takes it and pretends like he's gonna pull her down which is accidentally saucy, remember that mud moment lads, but doesn't obvs] Janis: [😳 and lowkey pretending you're gonna drop him so he's reminded of Asia and the assault course instead] Jimmy: [puts her foot up and generally fusses like a nurse because we know it's fucked] Janis: ['you're meant to be drawing a sheep's face right now' 'cos you cannot like focus boy] Jimmy: [gets and chucks a bag of frozen peas at her so he can put a tea towel on her head like an even bigger nerd but then does get his craft on] Janis: ['downgrade' like where's me crown but staying put 'cos it'll be more fuss if you don't] Jimmy: [obvs does make her a crown that's actually decent because that bitch] Janis: [so amused 'cos impressive 'wasted on me and not quinn'] Jimmy: [takes a pic like it's not wasted now but really it's to hide our heart eyes/stop him saying something that he can't pretend is fake when there is nobody here] Janis: ['rather this than a sheep, I guess' like not a #goals lewk soz bobby it will be on you] Jimmy: [chucks all those cotton wall balls he couldn't attach at her like they are little snowballs because playfights forever] Janis: [just juggling with them like I too can be impressive lmao] Jimmy: [craft break while he tries to have a go/tries to get her to teach him how to do it because we're impressed but also competitive] Janis: [love that for y'all, I can't do it but I assume you'll at least be able to do 2 or 3 jimothy] Jimmy: [one should fall in his tea though because 💔] Janis: [devastation] Jimmy: [cue OTT pout soz for how distracting that always is] Janis: [getting up like calm down, I'll make another one, 'cos looking for an excuse to move tbh] Jimmy: [gotta push her back down into that seat before she can because sauciness forever] Janis: [just like OI but a LOOK too] Jimmy: [giving that LOOK back as standard] Janis: ['I can do it'] Jimmy: [putting out a hand to help her up for that parallel] Janis: [reluctantly taking it with a 😒 'cos omg we're fine even though we aren't but you know] Jimmy: [does the drawing a smile with his finger tip thing because if we actually touch her rn there will be no stopping us and this sheep isn't gonna finish itself] Janis: [run and make that tea gal distraction distraction] Jimmy: [likewise get crafting again jimothy] Janis: [let twix out the kitchen door 'cos she's being cray no doubt] Jimmy: [of course she is] Janis: how old is your brother Jimmy: 6 Janis: cute Jimmy: I'll pass that on Janis: the only kids I know are toddlers and babies Janis: have to be a bit less annoying at that age, right Jimmy: he's the only kid I know Jimmy: don't do my head in as much as the screaming 👶's at work Janis: yeah Janis: my oldest sister has a couple, they're nightmares Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's past it Janis: 🤞 his girlfriends are Janis: blokes never are Jimmy: depends whose arse he decides to slap at the photocopier this week Jimmy: 🤞 for a barren Sharon Janis: Christmas wish, or whatever Jimmy: @ Santa Jimmy: have a word Janis: plenty of sad christmas movies with that premise Janis: your brother really needs to be the ⭐ though Janis: you're well past it Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: every teenager on telly is played by a 35 year old, me and my crows feet are well in Janis: and I'm saying you pining for a step mum is for a whole different type of film Jimmy: dunno what you mean by that, Jenna Janis: 😇 Janis: [come back with that tea and the most dubious sure jan face] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head like tut tut] Jimmy: [sips tea in a sassy manner] Janis: ['animal' and pointedly checking out his progress] Jimmy: [imaginary watch check time lol] Janis: ['never ends, eh?' squishes his face like poor boy] Jimmy: [a shrug 'not til you kill me'] Janis: ['better put in your appearance first for the kid'] Jimmy: [nods because no fucker else is gonna do it 'whatever they're using for the baby jesus might come in handy an' all, fake kid for you to remember me by' because we think we're leaving lol] Janis: [such an unamused face 'no thank you' like you don't know how rife teen pregnancy is in this fam lol] Jimmy: [a look like yeah it won't look as fit and mysterious as me but still] Janis: ['it's always some pale ginger kid anyway'] Jimmy: [picks up Twix and wraps her up in the sofa blanket like a little bub and hands her to Janis like there you go cos looks a bit like them being white but with whirls and she was a bit gingery when she was a pup] Janis: [when you can't just yeet this dog so you have to take her and give her some love but you're like 😑] Jimmy: [squishes her face like she just did to him] Janis: [swats him away 'prick' and is on our phone like we're very busy but we just don't wanna make this bad mood more of a thing] Jimmy: [Twix just kissing her face like ILY] Janis: [can't be mad at this pup at least, in reality we just seeing where nearby does decent decs that you can go and get] Jimmy: [meanwhile we're getting the bae painkillers cos we think that's why she's cross] Janis: [shakes head, 'saw Helena earlier'] Jimmy: [shrugs like suit yourself 'tah for keeping it off the 'gram' like she's cheating on you with Helena imagine] Janis: [? then like ugh 'turns out she sells 'em so well in' she does not and we did not, the utter lies girl] Jimmy: [we're ignoring that bollocks and drinking our tea/finally finishing this sheep] Janis: [ta-da gesture 'where is he, anyway?' like neither of us can model this sheep moment adequately] Jimmy: [looks around OTT dramatically like 😱 where IS he? cos can't just answer a question] Janis: [lifts up a cushion or something like hello?] Jimmy: [cue a silly fake hide and seek] Janis: [Twix will give you away so easily lmao] Jimmy: [eventually flopping down OTT dramatically basically on top of her like you're so knackered because always taking the piss out of his stamina] Janis: [acting like he's so heavy like you're gonna kill me] Jimmy: ['not the way you wanna go'] Janis: ['is that even a question?'] Jimmy: ['didn't draw owt' because he did draw ? on her with a fingertip during the school trip and it was very flirty] Janis: ['there you go then' like no need to answer] Jimmy: 'reckon we're on our own' like there you go then for that question you asked about Bobby's whereabouts but you're still basically all up in her grill so it's accidentally flirty as well as a no shit answer] Janis: [takes a picture to be like now we ain't] Jimmy: [do a little photoshoot so you can have an excuse to make out because it's been FOREVER as far as you're concerned] Janis: [when we haven't even processed any of this lowkey] Jimmy: [it's a headfuck kids] Janis: ['did you go to school this morning, after?' 'cos saying you clearly didn't] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' cos clearly didn't either, nods in the direction of the sheep costume fail like] Janis: [shrugs 'maybe you give up easy' like he came home did ten minutes and was like nah] Jimmy: [a look like very subtle challenge there babe] Janis: ['piss off' and pushing him a bit away 'cos we haven't moved evidently] Jimmy: [gets up and starts cleaning up all the crafting mess like fine I can take a hint] Janis: [ah the frustration, getting up like well then 'what time's the nativity thing?'] Jimmy: [telling her whatever time it is] Janis: ['meet you there then' and peacing] Jimmy: [so many things he wanted to say but we're not saying any of them] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby when he tries on that sheep lewk] Janis: 👍 Janis: looks pretty good I reckon Janis: he happier now? Jimmy: he's moved to 😢 Jimmy: should've kept your 👑 'cause the only 🏆'll be the FUMING mum's 💔 they never 💡🥇 of pissing about with their old clothes Janis: it's an improvement, suppose Janis: nah, could've earnt it if I committed to taking my sisters and glueing a paper plate to it Janis: 💔 oh well Jimmy: far as thankless tasks go, it's got nowt on 👴👵☕ Janis: you can wear it then Janis: have to size it up Jimmy: you gonna give me a hand or what? Janis: you did such a good job first time 'round Jimmy: without the tweet singing my praises, how would I know? Janis: if you want me to post, just say so Jimmy: if I have to tell you how to do the job, might as well do it myself Janis: fuck's sake Janis: we're literally going to clog their feeds later with all this nativity shit Janis: don't act like I ain't doing anything Jimmy: didn't have you down for a part timer but alright Janis: what you have me down as is irrelevant 'cos you don't know me Jimmy: weren't about to start a Q & A Janis: Good Janis: I know how to do the job, so do you Janis: leave it at that Jimmy: I were only pissing about, what's your problem? Janis: nothing Janis: there's just no need to do anything else Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: okay Janis: don't forget the santas hat you said he needed for jingle bells at the end Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: not worth a screenshot Janis: but I got the message, like Jimmy: what message is that? Janis: more 👏 content 👏 Jimmy: steady on, I ain't 💀👑 Janis: the point was bigger and better, weren't it Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you said nowt Janis: when did I? Jimmy: no need to do owt else, weren't it? so there's no need to make me sound like a tory slave driver Janis: just forget it, alright Jimmy: forget what? Janis: that I said anything Jimmy: or what? Janis: why would you not? Janis: there's nothing to gain from this Jimmy: might be if you stop being a dickhead and tell me what's wrong Janis: I'll just stop Janis: if you do as well Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: do you think you've done anything? Jimmy: that's not an answer Jimmy: the answer's nowt Janis: there you go then Jimmy: stopping doing nowt means doing something, so go on, what do you want? Janis: I don't want anything Janis: alright Janis: I shouldn't have slept with you Jimmy: freezing weren't how you wanted to 💀💀💀 either Janis: what Jimmy: I weren't gonna let you sleep out there on your own Janis: are you serious Jimmy: are you? Janis: you've already called me desperate for it Janis: now you think I'd just do it for the warmth and you get to be some kind of gentleman for bothering Jimmy: 1. I've said nowt of the sort 2. sort your head out if that's where you reckon mine is Janis: You said I was easy Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: that were you, for a start Janis: no it wasn't Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it was you Janis: anyway, it was a mistake Jimmy: you legged it, you're calling it a mistake, nowt to do with me, that Janis: because I'm not easy and you've got the wrong idea if you reckon that Janis: so let's stick to what is actually working and leave it Jimmy: you're being a massive dickhead Janis: and what Jimmy: and nowt's gonna work if you don't leave it out Janis: that's literally what I've said Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: how are you gonna have a go at me? Janis: you could've just shut the fuck up and it'd be fine Jimmy: how would it? Jimmy: you're sitting there 😒😤😭💔🎻 over some bollocks you reckon I said and you weren't gonna say owt Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: that's what you've been doing all day, mate Janis: fuck off have I, I've been helping you out Jimmy: suffering in silence 'cause I'm such a bastard, more like Jimmy: have a 🏆 Janis: you're the one being dramatic, I didn't say that Janis: I just didn't appreciate what you did, that's it Jimmy: you spent ages with me after I apparently called you a massive slag, what else do you call that? Janis: I was already on my way Janis: what am I gonna do, actually turn the bus around, no Jimmy: not be a doormat Jimmy: there's your mistake if you're looking for one, Jodie Janis: fuck you Jimmy: this is me being a prick since you need a hand working out the difference Janis: stop talking to me Jimmy: stop putting words in my mouth Janis: I didn't Jimmy: I don't think you're easy Janis: right Jimmy: Why would I? Jimmy: don't flatter yourself, alright, my benchmark for that is set at fucking half the north Jimmy: and even then, you'd have to really be dating me to get me to give a shit about it Janis: I didn't ask you to give a shit, nor do I want you to Janis: and it's hardly flattering but doormat is worse so yeah Janis: go away now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I hope your brother doesn't totally hate it Jimmy: don't bother wasting your christmas wish Janis: well, he'll be fine, there are worse things than stage fright Jimmy: don't waste the reassurance on me either Janis: Jesus, whatever then Jimmy: there's nowt worse than having no parents about when every other dickhead does Janis: Yeah Janis: he won't be the only one Janis: and at least someone is there at all Jimmy: tah for that Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: most helpful you've been, pointing that out Janis: well what Janis: what else would you want me to say Janis: it's shit Jimmy: I didn't ask for you to say owt about it Janis: so you brought it up to what Janis: get a 👍 or 👎 Jimmy: you brought it up Jimmy: reckoning you know what's our kid's problem how you reckon you know what I think Janis: no, I was going Janis: I was literally just saying hope he doesn't have a terrible time Janis: don't have a go at me 'cos your dad ain't going Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I'm having a go at you 'cause you're doing my head in Janis: then I'll be going Janis: we don't need to talk to each other Janis: right now or barely at all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when we need to do more fake shit, then we'll do it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you know where I live Janis: Yep Janis: later Jimmy: [not gonna reply cos have a nativity to get ready for] Janis: [ah soz for the mess that has been made everyone, gutted we will not see the sheep costume in action] Jimmy: [how dare you arseholes ruin my festive fluff] Janis: [my boo is fuming, at least we can force you together easily enough after, and you did help with the costume] Jimmy: [we've ticked that and jumpers off the list, well done us]

[metalchick19-blog]

The Bowers Gang: Which Members of The Losers’ Club the Guys Admire/Why

Belch: Richie Tozier - Although Richie is the main reason the guys even mess with The Losers’ Club in the first place (he did a loud impression of Henry once in middle school, and they’ve all had to suffer for it ever since), Belch has always admired him for one reason - he says what he wants without fear, even when he knows the people around him won’t like it. Richie basically lives his life word-vomiting whatever he wants, and, for the most part, comes off as someone who truly doesn’t care whether he’s accepted or not; he’s unapologetically himself (much like Patrick), and isn’t willing to change that regardless of who’s watching. Over the years, Belch has heard at least 10,000 of Richie’s rude jokes, sarcastic comments, and biting insults in the halls, and, through those encounters, has definitely taken notice of his inner strength - no matter how many times he’s beaten by the guys, or told to shut up by his own friends, Richie stays on his bullshit, and seems to love it with all his heart. Although he tries not to think about it much, Belch abandoned his sense of individuality a long time ago, and hasn’t been able to revive it since; he deserted himself to be accepted by the guys, and often doesn’t feel “safe” enough to voice his actual thoughts and opinions on things. In that way, Belch desperately wants the kind of strength that Richie has, because he’s never known what it’s like to be appreciated by people for who he really is - although he loves his friendship with the guys (just being taken in was enough for him), Belch often thinks about how nice it would be if they could know his genuine personality. It’s his ultimate fantasy to be able to share his thoughts, and have them received for what they are, even if everybody doesn’t agree with them all the time. He may not realize it exactly, but... what Belch is actually wishing for, are friends like Richie’s.

Henry: Ben Hanscom - Even though Ben is debatably one of Henry’s biggest headaches when it comes to the kids of Derry High School (he always puts up an annoyingly big fight whenever he’s messed with, and often gets grown-ups to help other students), he’s also someone Henry has a notable amount of respect for... even if he’s too full of rage to admit it. Henry admires Ben, to a degree, because he isn’t afraid to stand up for himself - even when he’s grossly outnumbered, and faces insurmountable odds. 9 times out of 10, when the guys screw around with him, Ben will blatantly resist their efforts, scream for them to let him go no matter how much they tell him to shut up (sometimes louder, and with more authority than Henry), and, more often than not, ends up being too much trouble to bother with for long. All in all, Ben just doesn’t seem to let fear take over him in the same way it takes over all other kids on the gang’s “fuck ‘em up” list - and, albeit in his own demented way, Henry sees that. Though it’s actually the primary reason he targets Ben on such a regular basis (Bowers doesn’t like anyone that can face up to him easily, and has devoted part of himself to breaking Ben’s fearlessness), it’s also something he wishes he was capable of himself. Henry has seen Ben keep a fighting spirit in the face of four guys who are exceedingly dangerous, and out-match him in every way... whereas Henry himself can’t even gather the strength to stand up to one man: his Dad. 

Patrick: Richie Tozier/Ben Hanscom - One thing has to be made clear right away: Patrick Hockstetter does not “admire” anyone (because everyone knows he’s the supreme being/God himself/blah blah blah crazy person nonsense); Patrick does, however, like certain people, and two of the people he likes most in the world are Richie Tozier and Ben Hanscom of The Losers’ Club. Although he’s never had any reason to say it to the guys (if he did, he would - no fucks to be given), Patrick finds Richie funny as hell, and has always liked him to an extent because of it. In general, Richie’s sense of humor pairs very well with Patrick’s basic nature in that most of his jokes are either gross, sex-related, or insults - not much in between, or otherwise. In a lot of ways, Patrick basically just sees the fact that Richie prides himself on being a little shit, and enjoys his bullshit almost as much as he enjoys his own (he’s also very attracted to Richie because he thinks of him as a little “mini-me,” but we’ll save that for another day). When it comes to Ben, Patrick took a liking to him for essentially the same reasons as Henry, but with a fucked up twist - he fights back when he’s messed with... which makes him an unusually fun “toy.” Seeing Ben scream, fight, and generally work himself up has brought Patrick laughs (and we’re talkin’ really good, belly laughs) on more than a few occasions - so much so that he often tries to plant the idea of targeting Ben in Henry’s head (”I’m just sayin’  man, the kid seems like he’s gettin’ a little cocky - and Bowers doesn’t let the animals run the zoo, does he?” *Manipulative Hockstetter grin*). Really, Patrick just loves the thrill of the hunt, and Ben prolongs that feeling more than any other victim - he’s been a fan favorite of Patrick’s for a long time, and remains so to this day. 

Victor: Bill Denbrough - Although he’s never voiced it to anyone, Victor has admired Bill Denbrough since he and the guys were in middle school, and still does, despite the fact that he’s forced to bully his friends on a regular basis. In many ways, Bill is the type of person Victor has always wanted to be - in fact, he’s the type of person Victor would probably be, had he not become a part of the gang. Bill is a sincere, moral guy who values friendship over fear; rather than intimidate people to keep them in line the way Henry does, Bill just relies on genuine fellowship to keep people close to him, and, for the most part, doesn’t really try to lead them at all - he’s just the kind of person other people naturally choose to follow. Victor sees those authentic qualities, and can’t help but feel close to Bill in that they’re very similar people... just living very different lives. Essentially, Victor sees Bill as being strong in all the ways he’s not (i.e. as his ideal self), and just wishes he could be a little more like him in some ways. He also admires Bill’s bravery, in that Bill always keeps a stiff upper lip even when he knows the guys are about to hurt him very badly (his fear never shows on his face). All in all, Bill just strikes Victor as an intensely courageous, decent person, and he would be more than willing to get to know him better if the opportunity presented itself (... which it never will *tears*).

#henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #The Bowers Gang #the bowers gang headcanons #it

[godesssiri]

My step dad’s mother is an evil Old Bitch.She has been the absolute stereotypical nasty mother-in-law to my Mum for 30 years. She adopted 2 boys in the 60s and screwed them up so badly that one ran away to find his real parents when he was in his 20s and then never spoke to his adopted family again, the other (my step dad) has spent 55 years tying himself in knots to be the perfect son so she wouldn’t send him back to the orphanage (a frequent threat for bad behavior as a child). He is in jail right now and so my mother has had to look after the Old Bitch. 

She has been getting steadily more and more demented. My mother and I have been involved in Elder Care for a long time and we know senile dementia when we see it. We have struggled trying to make sure she is looked after, that her house is clean and she has food in the cupboards and she is getting her medication. My mother has text messages to the Old Bitch’s little sister going back over a year letting her know when the Old Bitch had had yet another incident, begging for help, saying she needed to be in care. She wasn’t safe, she kept leaving the door unlocked, the house had been turned over at least twice that we know of and there were some very dodgy drug addict neighbors across the street. She had several major falls. She’s diabetic and the home help who were supposed to administer her insulin messed up regularly. We actually lined up rooms in rest homes on 2 separate occasions but she wasn’t quite demented enough that we could invoke power of attorney and force her to go in. 

3 weeks ago we finally managed to get her into a rest home and I cleaned out the house with the help of the new tenant and a family friend. Her sister said we could keep a small dining table and ceramic elephant side table, they were the only things in the house we actually liked, they’d actually belonged to the sister but had been in the Old Bitch’s house on permanent loan. Then she came to visit along with their other sister and they didn’t like the rest home. They weren’t happy that we had gotten rid of all the Old Bitch’s stuff (we kept photos, decent jewelry, important documents and antiques). They didn’t like that she didn’t have anything personal in her shoebox room. They wanted their parents and grandparent’s marriage certificates that were in a wooden box with roses on it. They wanted her opal broach and diamond ring and emerald ring. We couldn’t keep the tables anymore because they were mad at us. Did we really need to get rid of all her things, she’s not dead yet. They think we’ve either lost or gotten rid of their family heirlooms or we’re keeping them for ourselves.

We had rooms in better facilities lined up for her - it’s really hard to get rooms in our area, her family didn’t try to help us find a place for her so if they’re not happy they can find another place. I’m a good judge of what’s good vintage and what’s crap and believe me we got rid of so so much crap. I made sure we didn’t get rid of anything good. We haven’t had a chance to get her photos/mementos etc out to her yet, we’re not withholding them, we haven’t gotten rid of them, we’re just fucking busy - We’ve got a friend lined up to take all her stuff to her next week. The wooden box with roses on it was full of knitting needles and tangled yarn, which I told them immediately after they accused us of throwing out the contents, damn sure I threw out the contents.  I have gone through another (much cooler) wooden box full of old photo’s pulling out some for my step-dad and found the certificates - they obviously got the boxes confused, they’re about the same size and shape. I’ll be keeping the cooler box (it’s an Edwardian soap box with the original paper branding still on it and still really clear, it’s fucking awesome) because they’ve clearly forgotten it existed, they knew I had the photo’s because I was going to put them in albums for the Old Bitch but never got around to it, I’ve just told them the photos were in a cardboard box but I’ve packed them into the rose box for them. I went through twelve (12) jewelry boxes and did not find an opal broach or a diamond ring or a emerald ring, I found a crap tonne of tin and plastic but the things the sisters are demanding have either been lost by a demented old lady or sold by the neighbors for drug money - I have point blank told them that.  

We have now informed her sisters that we will be sending everything to the Old Bitch at her rest home, if they want anything they can go pick it up from her there. They’ve accused us of wanting her stuff even though she’s not dead yet but they’re laying claim to it all like she is. If they want all this stuff they’ll have to go and pry it out of the claws of their dear demented sister and prove themselves to be the grasping greedy bitches that they’re accusing my mother and I of being. Or they do the decent thing and actually wait for her to die before they claim it.

TLDR step-dad’s Aunties are evil old ladies and we’ve forced then into a corner where they either have to actually be decent or expose themselves as the bitches they are.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Trans Activism

Okay. So it’s about time I talk about this. First and foremost, I need to get this out of the way. I HATE, trans-activism. Do not take this to mean I hate trans people, as it does not mean that. Do not take this to mean that I don’t want trans people to live peacefully. This is also not the case. With all of this said let me get into what I need to say.

Trans-activism is doing much to hurt Trans and non-trans people alike. This video which links to an article goes in depth about it. Fact of the matter is, we have issues with having conversations about Transgender as a concept. Even the slightest notion of, “maybe this person who says they are trans, is not actually trans” gets you labeled as a transphobe. But if this article proves anything, It’s that trans-activists have done more to hurt people than to help. I know this to be the case because everyone and their mothers at this point lean towards, “OMG i’m so proud that you are coming out as trans! I totally support this. What’s that? You don’t really know if you’re trans? That’s what bigots sound like. If you think you are trans at all, then you just are.” 

I can not tell you how often I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen it in real life. I’ve seen it on this hellsite, I’ve even seen it on Twitter and Facebook. Friendship and support is not blind. Nor does it ignore dangers, and science. I have had several arguments with people on Twitter and on here, that have told me hormone blockers have no “side effects”. Are you kidding me? No side effects? Ok lets go over them for those in the back of the room shall we. 

-They prevent proper growth.

-They hinder immune system growth.

-Your sexual organs don’t grow in properly.

-After taking them, depending on how long you took them, can make you unable to have kids.

-Your body never fully evens out after taking them for longer than a few months.

-This lack of immune growth and physical growth can lead to other issues down the road.

-Lower bone density

ETC.

And this is the short list. The list for what happens when you start on a hormone treatment to transition can be much more devastating to your body. This is not to mention the fact that it is an invasive surgery, be it male to female or female to male. ALSO, assuming you end up not actually being trans, you might have a laundry list of physical traits you don’t want after the fact. Like for instance, you end up much shorter than you would have. You end up with a lot of body hair you can NEVER GET RID OF, among other things. Though, we never talk about this stuff. Because the only thing trans-activists care about is trying to convince as many people as possible that they are trans. Hell, there is even a movement of them that infiltrate gay and lesbian message boards or chat rooms and literally just keep nudging them to believe they are trans rather than gay or lesbian. Do you understand how sick that is? To tell someone that even if they know they are homosexual, that actually they really, “aren’t” and are actually just the opposite gender? Do you GRASP how fucked up that is? These people are also responsible for “Rapid onset gender dysphoria”. A thing that has not only not been backed by any studies at all but is made up BS, to try and convince people who are not trans that they actually are. 

These people are demented. Demented to a degree that makes me worry. Fact of the matter is that these young people in this article are basically fucked for the rest of their lives. And a LARGE number of them are young girls. A decent number of whom have autistic tendencies or are actually autistic. And some of them will have to grow up shaving their faces daily, because trans-activists don’t actually care about them. And they will have to stay in hiding as well. Because progressives and activists will attack them. Call them traitors. Probably even bully and berate them. Fun fact is thought that if you watch this video it talk about something I've been talking about for a long time. Actually trying to treat the root of the body dysphoria. If after several months of working with a person in therapy, they are not showing signs of improvement, then you can suggest to them that they ARE in fact trans. 

Trans is not just saying you are trans. And just parading it around to the trans-trenders saying you don’t actually need body dysphoria to be trans is insane. Not only does it de-legitimize what it is to be trans, but it de-legitimatizes all that trans people have had to go through up until this point. It tells them that their struggle is now just some trend for people who want to feel special get to pretend to be. Meanwhile there are trans people out there right now, who are thinking about killing themselves. Because it’s not everything they were told it would be. It’s not all sunshine and roses. It’s not just some simple walk in the park. And what’s more, you can’t pretend it’s because people discriminate against them. Especially if they are passing after all is said and done. And many are. And they don’t walk around saying “I’m a trans man” or “I’m a trans woman”. They normally identify as the sex they have transitioned too. And short of knowing them prior to it all, how would you KNOW, to discriminate against them? Short answer? You wouldn’t. 

I’m really tired of us not being able to have a REAL conversation with these people. I’m really tired of these insane activists saying that 3-14 year olds have the MENTAL CAPACITY, to decide they are the opposite sex. Most people don’t even know what identity is until they are into their late teens. And even then, they don’t really know who they are until they are in their 20’s. YES. There are people who have transitioned that are very happy and might stay happy for their whole lives. Props to them and I wish them the best. But this notion that everyone is automatically trans because they are not manly enough, or girly enough is stupid. Tomboys do not have to be trans the same way femboys don’t have to be trans. Hell is it not the progressive thing to do to oppose gender norms? So why the hell do trans-activists push for those same norms so damn hard? If you’re allowed to be a man and wear a dress, then why the hell do men who want to do that HAVE to actually be women? Sounds more like you are the ones enforcing stereotypical gender roles to me.

I want to end on this note though. We need to have a conversation about this. We need to be able to talk about gender dysphoria, and what is being trans. We also need to stop letting parents convince their kids that they are trans. Children say a lot, and many go through phases. And what you all don’t understand, is that if you believe that kids have to capacity to make LIFE ALTERING DECISIONS like being trans and taking hormone blockers or start transitioning before 20, not only do I think you are messed up in the head, but you are also saying in that moment, that a CHILD has the capacity to consent to sex. Both have very life changing consequences, and both require a lot of experience and wisdom to fully understand. 

I have a LOT of respect for trans people in general. I DO NOT have any respect for trans-activists. They’ve done so much more to hurt people than they have to help them. Honestly? I feel sorry for these young adults. They were probably “supported” in the same way most trans people are. “Everything will be great! I’m so happy for you! Oh i always knew it! I’ll support you no matter what! Oh it’s perfectly safe when can i take you to look into it?” And what’s more, Doctors are having to go along with it. Out of fear that progressives and activists will get them fired, or get their license removed some how. This is not just physical doctors but psychologists as well. Parents will sit in, and if the doctor does not agree that they ARE TRANS, just like the 5y/o said, the parents will then mobilize a progressive mob against them. This only serves to hurt people more than it does to help. Not only that but it serves to hurt trans acceptance in the broader world. Places that have watched this happen and feel like it’s too much trouble to deal with. This video. The article. Both need to be conversation starters. We need to realize that trans-trenders, and trans activists are screwing things up. Trans people already have enough to deal with. The last thing they need is to become villains. And believe me, if people continue to get hurt like this. Continue to be brainwashed and taken advantage like this. They won’t blame the activists and progressives. They will blame the entire trans community. And if that happens, we might actually fall back years on the progress we have made for trans people.

#trans #transition #detransition #activism #trans activism

[shutterbug-12]

Succession S2E2 Thoughts

Overall: 

Much better than the terrible agony that was the first episode. 

I still want to wrap Kendall up in a hug and transmit some life into him by osmosis. Shiv...I’m sorry, but I know a lot of you really love her, but I...really don’t. I have some sympathy for her, because she is the person made by a very hostile father and a very hostile world. And there is an element of me being biased towards Tom (although I will admit--will list--all his horrible qualities; I’m just glad he has a decent handful of redeeming ones), but Shiv is a pretty cold person (and yes, I would say that about Logan as well, and Roman--them especially--so I’m not calling her cold simply because she is a strategic, smart woman. But I feel like she has the capacity to be a decent person, with a decent heart, but she will never allow herself to be that kind of person. And that’s the tragedy of her for me. 

Her and Tom’s relationship is, in my view, incredibly unhealthy and fucked up. It’s a one-way street, and they could really be so much better, but...I don’t think they ever will be, unless Tom somehow...takes over, but *snort*. Talk about a clown running the circus. Whew. But yeah, as long as Shiv has so much power skewed in her direction and she doesn’t hesitate to use it and hold it over him, theirs will not be a relationship composed of equals, but Tom will continue to think, in his demented brain, that somehow they mostly are? King and Queen? No, no, Tom. Nice try. But you’re not on that level. It’s true that I see very small, slivers of moments when they need each other, but I...have seen...honestly, I can’t remember seeing one moment where it was clear that Shiv really loved him, just that she needed him. And those are very different things, at least for me. My dream scenario is that Tom can work up the nerve to leave her and be with someone who actually deserves him, but...that’s a different show, certainly not this one. So I suppose I’ll have to sit back and watch this trainwreck. 

Actually, I find it interesting to see the relationship between Logan and Kendall, and Shiv and Tom. They are very parallel in some big ways. Logan and Shiv are both very dominant, both dictate the terms of the relationship, both steer it, manipulate the other person at will, are both strong-willed and strategic but can be cruel, and both place their own interests above everyone else’s. They’re the controllers. Kendall and Tom, at least in this season so far (Tom has always been), are the submissive ones, the yes-men, acting at the behest of their counterparts, both very insecure about their relationships with those counterparts, although, granted, Kendall has passed over into dead-eye territory, where Tom has some life left. I can see how being in their position might be at times comforting, not having pressure on them, kind of enjoying the freedom that being submissive and simply obeying offers. And, really, in the dynamics of both relationships, I really feel for Tom and Kendall. Shiv is, of all the children, most like her father, and was from the beginning, but I think she’s leaning more and more that way, which...is a bad way to lean if you want to cling to some part of your soul. So I...am a bit worried about both Kendall and Tom, but I know something’s going to give at some point. In some way. So I’m...interested. 

One last thing: what made this episode so much better than the first one, for me, is the attention paid to the absurdity of the characters and their lives. That is the glory of the show for me. When it tries to get me to truly sympathize too hard with characters who, by and large, are not very sympathetic, I...am very turned off. Because we’re talking about uber-rich douche-bags who only care about themselves and their power. The only sympathetic characters (and even the moments when sympathetic characters have sympathetic moments and aspects) are ones who show motivations other than power grabs and greed. BUT, when the show highlights the absurd nature of...this entire palace drama? It’s at its height. Its at its best. This episode had a ton of that, and I was very grateful for it. The Vaulter dude was always a great vehicle to highlight some absurdity, and he came through here. Greg, of course, highlights the absurd aspects of Tom and the Roys in general. Connor himself. Amazing. The absurdity bouncing around in this episode made it so, so much better than the first one. 

Overall, B+ episode. 

As I watched: 

Oh, yay, the theme park! Been looking forward to seeing these parts. 

Beavis and Crackhead. Nice.

Aww, MM, you’re getting gray and it’s so...weirdly cute. Damn it. Also I can watch you try to get popcorn out from between your teeth with your tongue all. day. long.

Hmm, Logan listening to Shiv. Roman sees what’s happening. He’s not as stupid as he seems. Which we knew, but it’s nice to see. 

Mondale! And the Mondale voice is back! Tom & Mondale might be my favorite friendship on the show. 

The amount of time Shiv spends looking at her phone instead of talking to and listening to her husband is...pretty fucking sad. She LITERALLY walks away from him when he’s talking. Cool. 

“It’s not really a thing.” UM. WUT. No it’s a huge thing. One partner wanting to fuck other people, while the other one clearly doesn’t really want to is...a huge thing. And not talking about it is going to make everything worse, but sure, okay, continue thinking it’s not really a thing. 

Oh god, it’s kind of painful, how hard he’s trying to...rationalize that he’s okay with everything about their relationship. And trying to like...show he’s ready all the time, always down to fuck, just in case she was wondering. Heh. You can see the insecurity just coming off him in waves. 

Ha. I’m sorry, writers, but...an American wouldn’t say “cheeky” like that. Someone needs to check the British-isms. But it’s nice to see even a show like this mess up. ;) 

I mean, yes, this is a drool-worthy penthouse, but settle down Tom, or I’m worried you’re literally going to start fucking the sofa.

One of these days, Tom is going to actually...not roll over like a submissive dog. Maybe. 

*sings* Tom and Greg, together again, wheee! Tom and his punching bag. Tom, you better watch out, because at some point the bag is going to punch back. 

Um. Tom. I’d go easy on the creepy sexual metaphors. You can’t quite speak with the...disgustingness of Roman. Please stop trying.

LOL Name me one principle. Although, god, this is the ugliest side of Tom. How willing he is to compromise himself for advancement. He’s honestly...kind of a whore sometimes. And it’s his least appealing aspect of his character (his most appealing, of course, being his handsome, handsome cute face). 

By the way, non-Americans, real Americans don’t throw around this many “fucks.” And we don’t constantly speak in sexual metaphors. Granted, I’ve never been among these kinds of...terrible people, but still. 

OMG, her name is actually CYD PEACH?! Wow. No wonder you’re a badass bitch. With a name like that, who wouldn’t be? 

I kind of like this news lady, talking to Tom like the moronic asshole he is. Her sarcasm is just oozing out of her and I love it. This was such a great scene. 

Rough first day, Tom. But, hot damn, is he actually motivated to do...real work? Color me interested to see how this goes. 

Gerry, you’re amazing. You might be one of my favorite characters. 

IPAs that looks like run-off at the car wash. Ahahahahahha. Great line. 

OF COURSE CONNOR HAS AN EMAIL BULLETIN. Actually, Connor might be one of my favorites, too. He represents the most what I like about the show. The absurdity of it. It’s when the show strays too far away from pointing out absurdity that it gets...not nearly as enjoyable. 

Another great example of the absurdity: The conversation between Roman and Connor about the president. 

Ha, yes, Roman invited you to dinner because he’s learning your game, Shiv. He’s learning, against all odds, how to 

You did a thing. Mazel Tov. Another great scene with Roman and Tabitha. 

Oh, Tom, baby, you’re so nervous to...talk to your wife. Heh. That’s kind of sad. And ahahahhaah, you still think you’ve even in the uh, line of succession (too on point?) for CEO. Oh, Tom. You idiot. And, Shiv, you are...you don’t think Tom should get the big job, please. Come on. I wish she’d...be truthful about how much she wants it, at least with Tom, JFC. But honestly isn’t really in her vocabulary, so... ALSO, RAWR. Let me say how SHOCKED I AM that Shiv gets turned on when she thinks about herself being powerful. She gets off when she literally has Tom by the balls. Shocker. Shocker. 

AHAHAHAH, GREG’S APARTMENT SHOPPING. YES. LOL. THIS IS GREAT. Greg is the best. AWW, DID KENDALL JUST GIVE GREG AN APARTMENT? AWWWW, KENDALL! Aww, that awkward hug was probably the most physical affection Kendall’s had in...a long time. LOL. OMG KENDALL WANTS TO BE BUDDIES WITH GREG. YES. 

Oh boy. The most awkward dinner in history. Tabitha is so chill. OH NO, TOM AND TABITHA ALONE IN A ROOM. YOU SHOULD TRY SWALLOWING SOMETHING. OMG JKFDL;AJFKLAFJKSA;KJFDL. AHAHAHAHA. YEEEESSSSS. I like when the relatively powerless characters make a cutting power move. 

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH HIS BODY. DON’T YOU, EVEN. 

Okay, seriously, y’all stop making fun of Tom so hard. Jfc. My heart is going out to him here, honestly. Tom can be a dick sometimes, but this is cruel stuff. 

OMG OMG OMIG OGMD OSALJFSAL;FJSK TOM I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. I’M SO, SO PROUD OF YOU. FOR TELLING SHIV TO FUCK OFF. YES. I’M SO DAMN PROUD OF YOU. DKFLS;FJDKSAOMGGGGGGG. It’s nice to see the tiniest hint of backbone. 

Oof, this is what Tom and Shiv call “talking”? Meh, yeah, Shiv, you need him. You need a stable presence. You need a loyal sounding board. You need a yes man. Their relationship is so fucked up. Yiiiiiikes. They’re pretty much the WORST at open, real communication. 

Oh, boy, oh, boy. Poor Greg. Kendall, you dick. Making this your drug party. Ugh. I’m so fucking disappointed in you. (I’m still pulling for you, though.)

Guh, yeah, the scene in the car with Shiv and Gil...these kinds of scenes really show Shiv’s ugly side. (And Gil’s for that matter.) People needing the upper hand. People shitting all over each other. People needing to be right. 

Logaaaaaan, you’re such a dickheeeaaaad. A manipulative, awful dickheeeaaaad. Although, what a great line: make yourself at home. In...daddy’s office. 

Jesus, Kendall, you need a real car, man. 

AAAAH, IT LOOKS LIKE THE HUNTING EPISODE IS NEXT. AWESOME. 

#succession #succession hbo #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #shiv roy #roman roy #kendall roy #logan roy

[death-himself]

enjoy my theories and me connecting dots that weren’t meant to be connected and also random notes

this is from my third time watching the new episode, including every single tiny detail i noticed because when it comes to theorizing i either dont do anything or go all out

also know that I am terrible at reading facial expressions so most of those parts are likely wrong

(under the cut because on google docs it said it was 7 pages long and i am afraid)

virgil looks automatically anxious and frustrated

logan stutters a lot after roman makes the "take off your glasses" joke and i cant tell if hes confused or if hes actually offended by that

what they all say the first time they yell at logan: virgil: "shut up before i shut you up" thomas: "WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH" patton: "hey now heeeyy nowww" slowly turning into song

thomas calls virgil "the purp man"

references to Sword and the stone? may refer to something?

second time they yell at logan: virgil: "i'm gonna prohibit your BREATHING if you keep this up" (damn virge calm down) thomas: "please stop please i really dont want to think about it" patton doesnt speak (im pretty sure)

virgil glances at thomas a lot

is it just me or around the time virgil says "we're going to talk about something else now" he starts to sound a lot like deceit? Especially with that "sure"

roman gets easily distracted

"of course you're not a chick. You're a metaphysical human being. A chick is a really ??? girl"

why does remus appear behind the TV?

patton notices remus when saying "evil" virgil notices remus when saying "show up" and his tempest tongue comes in

when roman get knocked out the first time virgil looks at thomas like hes frustrated or annoyed maybe he looks at thomas like that because he thought it was thomas that was to blame for him showing up? since he was the one to have those intrusive thoughts?

also why does remus smack roman with a morning star?

all dark sides wear eye shadow confirmed

also this disproves the theory that all dark sides have a more animalistic features, therefore proving the headcanon that deceit just puts on makeup to look like he has scales on his face because hes dramatic

virgil looks kind of scared right before the song starts

during the song: logan looks done with everything thomas looks scared virgil looks furious and maybe defensive (that snarl tho) patton looks confused

why is patton of all sides to be the one to puke out remus (that's probably not the weirdest line i've written)

Remus considers any creativity that isn't dirty or horrific (aka his stuff) to be dull or boring

I think the A-Z part of the song is a reference to this one song video about the ABCs of ways to die but i have no clue

Even early on in the song when logan says "It's fine" it shows that hes trying to sort this out and get to the problem, but Remus prevents him from continuing, then allows Pat and Virge to say their thoughts

ROMAN CALLS REMUS "BRO" 8 MINUTES IN

"recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge" reference to deceit but also adam and eve

one of deceit's hands is holding a gavel reference to SvS

also deceit wears a coat just sayin

"No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you" this means that deceit really doesn't want thomas to lie to himself

why is deceit always the one with multiple arms when half his face is a snake? snakes dont have arms

Is remus holding up the mirror to thomas a reference to remus and roman basically being mirror images of each other?

Remus is SO PALE compared to thomas WHICH IS WEIRD CUZ THOMAS IS ALREADY REALLY PALE

I think remus is actually a lot smarter than he seems he knows how to manipulate thomas into believing hes a bad person by using religious topics and language, something that's been with thomas his whole life

also while remus is singing about hell he turns from normal to fully colored green, similar to all the other sides

Virgil looks so disturbed and frustrated after the song

"I'm really stupid right now" MOOD

when remus agrees with thomas that roman's his creativity he's just like "yeah...." SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS TO A T

Virgil and Remus argue like they know each other super well

Patton's so pure he doesn't even like to say "B-hole" precious dad

Remus uses words that have been said before to back himself up "Why do you want to stifle your own creativity, thomas?" 12 Days of Christmas: "We shouldn't stifle Roman's creative whimsy!" also all the other times roman's admitted to feeling ignored

Virgil's so uncomfortable he might have been afraid that remus would outright say that hes a dark side (bc honestly remus seems like the kind of guy to do that)

Why does remus like Jeffery Dommer so much?

also when remus turned his head to the side at about 10:30 the music matches and sounds like hes cracking his neck

Remus gets confused for a moment when Logan takes his "lot of good that did him!" seriously this seems to be a recurring theme throughout all the dark sides: them being confused by logan taking things literally You think I'm joking? I'm not Virgil early on gets frustrated that logan seems to "only take what he says literally" and I'm pretty sure I remember some time where deceit has to stop to process the fact that logan took one of his metaphors seriously

LOGAN IS A PSYCHOLOGY NERD AND WOULD LIKELY BE A PRETTY DECENT THERAPIST. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE MY MIND

Patton looks so scared when logan asks him to do the experiment. Hes like "what? what do you need me for? what's going on?"

virgil looks so tired and annoyed when he says "good save"

LOGAN GIVING OUT VALIDATION TO PATTON AND THEN LATER TO VIRGIL IS ADORABLE

wait does virgil blow at his bangs whenever he's really annoyed or anxious? because he did that in moving on part 2 while he was dealing with his panic attack in pattons room and then in this episode where he is clearly anxious throughout the whole thing

"No mommy I dont want the mashed potatoes" ROMAN HAS A MOM WHICH MEANS THAT REMUS HAS A MOM BUT WHO TF IS THEIR MOM

when thomas calls remus scary and he responds with that it sounds like a virgil problem Virgil glares at him so clearly defensive and angry remus just smiles like "yeah, i know whats going on"

virgil's the only one who doesnt suspect logan to be deceit when remus claims it

you know when everyone was creating theories about who romans counterpart would be and everyone was expecting them to be extremely elegant and suave? yeah, why the fuck did we think that? If the dark sides are like mirror images of the light sides, then of course remus would be this chaotic demon with literally no elegance whatsoever roman's the elegant, romantic, graceful prince, so of course whatever remus is would be his opposite

Cane and Abel - another biblical reference

also after remus says that virgil looks like hes confused or maybe just deep in thought about something

self-immolate means to set fire to yourself i had to look it up too remus literally wants thomas to strip, set himself on fire and play shake it off

despite all the biblical references reeling thomas in, remus is sooo bad at getting his point across "and then the baby...dies" "AND NO ONE SURVIVES"

a demented version of that "hallelujah" thing plays while hes talking about the baby bird and the airplane

"I am YOUR creativity" at that it flashes to Virgil, who looks like hes thinking about it. probably a sort of build-up to show how long virgil thinks about it before admitting that remus had a point

virgil looks so nervous when remus says that hes never been one to soften the truth

"why would you aspire to be so...boring?" (i feel like the word aspire there is important for some reason)

patton tries so hard to believe that thomas is a good person to the point where he ignores logic

THAT TURN TO LOGAN REMUS DOES IS SO FRICKIN TERRIFYING

it seems like both remus and deceit seem to understand that logan is the most dangerous for them remus threatens logan to try and get him to stop talking deceit chucks logan to the very back of the courtroom in SvS

"TURN INTO A GHOST" "TURN INTO THE HULK"

"I merely gave him a baby...AND A LARGE SHARP KNIFE" ME

"one of you is enough!" I wonder how that line affected Virgil? since it's possible that at this time he was already doubting whether or not hes really grown

PATTON LITERALLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT REPRESSION IS

that voice-crack when virgil says "But what if he's lying?" That might show how he feels about lying and deceit a bit more. he might be terrified at the thought of being lied to

paranoid is definitely a really bad word to virgil and the others know it. virgil and patton turn to look at logan the moment he says it, and logan freezes for a moment to change it into something better

when both virge and remus say "but what about jeffery dommer" virgil just looks so scared, his eyes darting around as if his mind is racing, probably worried that he really hasnt grown

they keep referring back to "that can't be where the bar is"

Logan says "figuratively" to stop Remus

"I LOVE BEING GIVEN TWO D's AT ONCE"

Virgil looks so afraid that he's still the bad guy in this its so sad

both patton and virgil laugh at poop jokes they are 29— they are very mature adults

"I would never hide anything from you" *glances at virgil* I feel like that might have been the moment virgil realized he couldn't just hide him being a dark side much longer

THEY DON'T EVEN LOOKED SCARED WHEN REMUS SCREAMED THEY JUST LOOKED ANNOYED

as the vid goes on remus tries more and more to be noticed

why did logan ask virgil how thomas was feeling instead of patton? was it because he knew thomas was really anxious or because he felt like patton would claim that he was feeling fine?

while everyone's calming down during logan's lecture, virgil just seems to grow more and more anxious, since he knows that he'll probably have to tell thomas that hes a dark side

thomas and virgil STILL dont want to go to a therapist

virgil just looks so guilty when thomas decides to lie down on the couch

"It was just like old times" when remus says that patton and logan just look so mad that he would say that

after that logan glances up at virgil to see how he feels aww

VIRGIL'S SMILE WHEN ROMAN GETS BACK UP IS SO UNSURE YET SO HOPEFUL AT THE SAME TIME

everyone just looks so proud of logan awww

virgil sounds so lost when hes about to reveal himself

he never calls them "the dark sides", just "the others"

virgil looks on the verge of tears when he says "because i was one of them". it shows how much this affects him, and how terrified he is to tell thomas. this is even more terrifying to him than telling them his name, which was shown to be an important thing to him

and afterwards thomas just goes silent, and looks so lost and confused, maybe even betrayed. he clearly needed a moment to think before saying anything

then virgil shrugs and leaves, his eyes red and full of tears, probably too scared to stay any longer

once he leaves thomas just stares at the ground processing the information

i’m bad at theorizing and my thoughts are a mess rn so all of this is probably complete shit

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #tw remus #tw duke #cursing #what i do when theorizing is write down my thoughts the moment i have them and dont look back

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Denmark to Eurovision with a cute multilingual jingle

Dansk Melodi Grand Prix is... a NF I don’t really have anything to say about. Like, you expect me to rile up 3 big paragraphs about the pre-NF dramas and what-not, but honestly... what’s the point.

Well, aside from the fact people did not really get excited over the lineup this year. Me neither from the names alone, actually. Even last year was more interesting to look at despite with another lineup of songs you can’t give a fuck about and then move on - I noticed they had Sannie who used to be known as Whigfield (”Saturday Night” <3333 the duck quacks <333), Ditte Marie (anyone remembers “Overflow” from 2012?) and Albin Fredy (which seems to be the same Albin that brought me my one of the two DMGP 2013 favourite songs, “Beautiful to Me”???). This year was a big “WHO IS SHE?? WHERE DID YOU FIND HER???”, so I just left DMGP in the corner where it picked cobwebs until not too long ago when someone got chosen.

Well, this NF keeps being a NF where I don’t personally feel too emotionally fucked about any of them entries, so that’s a big plus in my book, which will mean that I won’t throw a “THIS WAS ROBBED!!!1″ post on Denmark NF-wise... at least this year and the last year because I really loved “Venter” in 2012 and the said “Beautiful to Me” and “Invincible” in 2013 (I also liked “Only Teardrops” but I was mad its victory was so obvious xD). As for why I like it when the NFs don’t toy with my feelings, A Dal 2019 is an obvious demonstration, but more on that on my Hungarian writeup, which is significantly longer than this one - that’s how much of a demonstration it is.

Anyway, let’s talk about the chosen song, shall we? Performed by a smol skater girlie Leonora (Jepsen), here comes “Love Is Forever”, which was co-penned by the ever-so-notorious Lise Cabble - the champ-mastress of writing Eurovision songs for the Danes (by that I mean she wrote their 1995 entry... and then none of her entries got chosen for ESC until 2011 lol). And this is a significally softer turn of hers compared to “Only Teardrops” - ever since Anna Ritsmar in 2018′s DMGP, she tends to write cute, acoustic tunes sung by young ladies with their lil cute and lil crispy voices. “Love Is Forever” is just that, tbh.

Well THAT and also it sounds like a lovely acoustic background song for those funny photos/student quotes/test answers/etc. compilation videos on Youtube (I actually am talking about the channel Scoop, because other kinds of compilation videos use Youtube Audio Library-like pop songs or something straight off NoCopyrightSounds). Or the theme song for a TV programme for animals. Or the theme song for a children's programme they show at hospitals. There's so many places you can insert it into, I guess. At the same time it feels like a cupcake with pink frosting that tastes nice. And a cup of warm cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles. It's a delightful bite. Yum.

Realistically though, the song itself has an easy noddable-along-to rhythm, cute violin string plucks, the capability to melodically progress to sound even more joyful (I mean, the chorus just adds more and more layers of brass as it keeps repreating, just giving it a bit more of a typical Scoop channel background music material), the D flat major key of this song’s uplifts the spirits of this whole shebang and it also somehow includes lines in some more languages than expected in a Danish song ever, how odd it seems like??? And it’s especially given that we haven’t really heard Danish in a song since like what, 1997?? We only got “shout insh’allah” and “taka stökk til hærri jörð, taka” ever since then, and these aren’t remotely Danish lines. But this year we’re getting some Danish, and French, and even German. Feeling the love in multilingual. L’amour est pour toujours, y’all! Liebe IST für alle da!

There are also people that aren’t buying into the song all that much because Leonora looks way too creepy to sell a song about love love peace peace, like someone emerging out of a demented cabaret. I suppose that other people think that this song was forced onto Leonora when she didn’t really want it, and now has to pretend that we have to spread love to the world, make friendships with others, don’t get too political, and then act all supercool about it. The saddest bit that she does sound like that person that would sing a song like that... young, with a passion for skating, looks like a person that could probably hug you when you least expect it, the one that posts light purple sweater pictures with a glitter effect applied to them on Tumblr, the one who would wear white mittens with a giant red snowflake painted on/knitted into them... I don’t know if that’s all Leonora wanted to compete with in DMGP to make a breakthrough with her singing career after skating so darn much, and if she even believes in what is she singing (this is my rare reminder of the war situation in Israel that’s going on, and I’ll probably never have to speak of this again in any writeup, hopefully. Yeah sure, love is for ever...), but I somehow buy it, sue me. Those acoustics and that touch of brass instruments won me over.

So my final thoughts on this song is that it’s a joyball with that kind of song message so overused I cannot be angry on it because it’s not slapped on a dreary Russian peace ballad - it’s a singer-songwriter-esque small showtune, which makes it all seem a lot different because love is cute and this song is cute. So I guess I have no issues with it, whereas I can’t stand the aforementioned Russian peace ballads all that much because if you remove the good singers singing it, they’re cliché af; “Wars for Nothing” (Hungary 2015) sounded too innocent while having a full gun tree serving as a backdrop for them and if you looked too much into Boggie’s eyes, you could very well feel her penetrating your soul with war imagery; and Iceland last year was a knock-off Russian peace ballad that sounded too good to be unbearably dreary and the vocalist wasn’t even a belting girl. So yeah, I like it. More adorable songs about spreading love, less overdone ballads about world peace.

Thing is though, why did she really dress like a barista from a late-night-open cocktail club? I get that looking like a princess à la Maria Olafs won't cut it anymore as it would look way more saccharine, but Leonora is up like she's there to serve you your damn drink as soon as possible so she could go outside for a small smoke break, not to advertise love. Watch me make "when you have Eurovision at 9 and job at a cocktail bar at 11" memes on the night of the 16th. Seriously, her image barely even fucking suits the song!

Approval factor: Well, one of my faves won DMGP again, for the 2nd time in a row, so why wouldn’t I approve? ^_^ Love from me is forever!

Follow-up factor: For Denmark it kind of seems like a decent follow-up? For all those out here that remember Denmark as the nation that plagiarises every other entry, it would just seem logical for them to finally send a generic royalty free ukulele song for Youtube videos. Which is spectacular! No one knows which song did this one exactly plagiarize - the entire concept was ripped off! Jokes aside, it’s an interesting one after Rasmussen. After a song that urges you to lay your weapons down in a war and go find higher ground more peacefully, we’re now getting a morale on the fact that love is for ever and everyone. Isn’t it sweet. I’d rather these than a bland love song about laying down armours and guns. ^_^

Qualification factor: depends. For now I feel like writing it off because to the 1% of the people who’ve already heard this song beforehand and hate this song, the whole thing feels like “love :) is :) forever :) please love everyone you little shit :) :) :)”. To some others however, like Luke Malam from ESCXtra, it’s a song that definitely makes them feel the love being forever, just like “yaaaay we love each other and the world yaaaay!!! ^o^”, so it’s perhaps a bit of a mixed bag. I wanna see it through though, just as much as I want to see Lithuania, about which I will be talking next in these write-ups. But I see it very much so as a borderline because... idk, just a gut feeling. Sometimes songs that ooze loveliness just don’t quite get themselves across the other hand side of the viewer thus they don’t really qualify, for example, Finland 2012, another song sung by a lady better known as a sportswoman rather than a singer (but maybe that’s just because there was too much intimacy of hers with her and her celloist’s mom, and she looked too awkward to pass the intimacy to the viewers so they too could feel the loving bond and the life metaphors coming from a Finnish entrant singing in Swedish). For now from me it’s a positive borderline. Yes, I think that it probably will make it and we’ll see that large Ikea chair prop with many people swaying to the rhythm on it next to Leonora on Saturday as well.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Even with me not having much to say about DMGP, I will go ahead and cherrypick the favourite songs from the event:

• The big favourite of mine this year was brought by Julie & Nina, who served a bilingual schlager-like midtempo track, “League of Light”. Hats off to sounding properly Eurovision-y but without using a “rent-a-NF-songwriter” songwriter for to write this! It’s soaring, majestic, somewhat memorable and inclused Greenlandic. Yeah. Do you believe that this would have been a year where we could’ve gotten more exotic Language spins? Now we have lost both Aboriginal and Greenlandic out of Eurovision, hopefully just for this year so the languages can return again sometime. I’m proud of these women being so courageous and delighting some that really wanted schlager pop that still can click with some that are bored of Eurovision NF schlager cliches. Oh and this song is in A flat minor, probably one of my favourite keys in music. Not too bad, everything this was, although the aggression they transmitted through the song during their live DMGP performance kiiiiinda made them looked like pissed-off housewives imo?

• Them both and this guy below, Sigmund, were picked to the superfinal to compete against Leonora. What was Sigmund’s contribution and why did he deserve to be there so much? Well, I really love his colourful flamboyant electropop track that has piano influences, “Say My Name”, which lyrically reflects on the song’s protagonists big power that he will probably have if only the invisible force Sigmund’s singing to would just “say [his] name”. And I definitely think he deserved his spot over some really nice pop entries that the fandom definitely overrated. Oh and the song is in A flat minor too. Maybe I’m biased, maybe I’m not. You judge. >:)

• See, I don't feel like talking about the DMGP songs this year. It's a cool bunch of songs that some of them I like but nothing quite outstanding to talk about beyond those I already have paragraphs for. Well maybe you'd like to look up the entries by Humorekspressen (for to get a pub singalong song) and Jasmine Gabay (for to get yet another Latino-influenced Havana club track). But that's it. Here from me the last one you'll be getting is Simone Emilie with her teen-flavoured light radiofriendly dance-ish song "Anywhere". Why didn't it do better despite having the power to click with the Eurofans quite much? Well, maybe it's because her backdrop and the fairytale-esque dress went for another kind of atmosphere than it was required to have on the song.

• I don't know, I just find this particular winning reaction shot funny. Not sure if she's yawning or being like "yaaaazs bitchesss ;) 😄 ✨" in here. I gotta say - her lipstick was definitely on fleek that night.

That guy below her takes the cake at making this shot memorable too. Do you want the invisible meal Leonora is about to take a bite of too?

And besides that moment I don’t really have any on-show moments besides songs that were somewhat memorable. Why do Danes always have to be this vanilla in the Nordic country barrage, I will never get. That’s it. That’s their crime. Of being average. And being sued for plagiarism a lot in the past.

For now I’d just wish Leonora good luck in Tel Aviv and show ‘em that love can and will prevail before hatred does, if only people remember to love... ah wait, wrong kind of philosophy.

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #denmark 2019 #leonora #love is forever #denmark

[dalekofchaos]

Why I ship Joker x Harley/Jarley and why I love Joker and Harley as characters

I like their relationship because I see them as this twisted clownish super villain version of Bonnie And Clyde. Their dynamic, their chemistry and their story is compelling and I just love them together. While the abuse does make me uncomfortable. It’s more than one sided abuse as so many people diminish it as.

A lot of people like to diminish the relationship as one sided abuse and take Harley’s agency and autonomy away by treating her like a defenseless child and a “cinnamon roll that must be protected at all costs” and dismiss Joker as nothing but a fuckboy. Their relationship is more complex than that. Harley became a villain of her own free will and The Joker is one of the greatest villains of all time. They are much more than tumblr dismisses them as.

Harleen Quinzel chose to become Harley Quinn.  Harleen Quinzel was not tortured or thrown in chemicals to become Harley Quinn. Harleen Quinzel fell in love with The Joker in therapy. There is a large portion of manipulation on The Joker’s part, but it was Harleen’s choice to become Harley Quinn. She’s not a victim of The Joker’s madness, she chose to become who she is.

Their relationship isn’t one sided abuse it’s an on and off again relationship. The Joker and Harley are both insane and dysfunctional, there is no way this can be a normal and healthy relationship because that is the complete opposite of these two characters. No one is saying the relationship is healthy nor do I suggest it to be healthy or a relationship to strive towards. It’s meant to be a violent, unstable relationship. It’s also fictional. It’s a fictional relationship between two horrible, demented murdering clowns. To pretend the relationship is a run of the mill one that’s portrayed as healthy is just preposterous. Same with pretending the relationship isn’t also filled with a sick, twisted romance. Romanticizing Joker/Harley isn’t the problem. The problem is encouraging the behaviors, which no one is. And I love them together, they are like the psychotic clownish super villain Bonnie And Clyde. The Joker DOES love Harley, he is incapable of showing it normally because he has never felt love for anyone and because he’s trash. If he didn’t love Harley he would have killed her ages ago, if all he needed was a way out of Arkham, Harley would have been killed.  He tries to kill her to push her away because he thinks that romance is a distraction and alien. Really, Joker sees Harley as the perfect partner. and this is according to Harley’s creator Paul Dini, The Joker himself Mark Hamil and Harley herself Arleen Sorkin “He loves her as much as he can. He loves her in his way.” -Paul Dini “…That, to me, is kinda their private life. Joker opens up and in those moments he is whatever he is at his core and all his demons come in. And the only one he trusts with that is Harley, or Harley’s the only one who knows how to deal with him in those moments.” -Paul Dini “Expressing emotion in any way that’s real and meaningful is alien to The Joker, but he’s learning those parts of himself, however unconsciously, through Harley.” -Mark Hamil “Everyone else sees The Joker laugh; only Harley has ever seen him cry.” -Arleen Sorkin She’s completely and utterly obsessed and in love with The Joker. She loves Ivy too, but her heart is primarily with Joker. Hell there was a comic where Joker was all nice and sweet to Harley and eventually Harley became bored and tried to get the old Joker back. Harley is in love with the mad clown, Harley wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Joker is one of the great villains of all time. He is the complete opposite of Batman. He is unpredictable and there is no method to why he does what he does. He is a force of nature, while Batman is the unmovable object. He views life as a joke and death as the punchline. He is the only one who can truly push Batman and Gotham to it’s limits. His goal isn’t money, revenge or even world domination. The Joker simply wants to watch the world burn and prove that all it takes is one bad day to turn insane just like him. Batman's primary weapon in his war against crime is intimidation. This is useless to The Joker. The Joker can use Batman’s code of not killing against him. The Joker also forces Batman to make choices to reveal his true character but also outsmarts him. Joker is not out to kill Batman, if he kills him, the fun is over. This is more of a game to Joker. “You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to to this forever.” that is what makes their dynamic so good. The Joker knows where to hurt Batman and Batman won’t kill him. Speaking of. I often hear tumblr go off about “Batman should just fucking kill Batman and get it over with” no...no you moron! The reason why is this. The Joker and Batman are each trying to prove a point to society - and really to us, the readers. The Joker wants Batman to kill him because he perfectly embodies chaos and anarchy and wants to prove a point to everyone that people are basically more chaotic than orderly. This is why he is so scary: we are worried he may be right. If the Joker is right, then civilization is a ruse and we are all truly monsters inside. If the Joker can prove that Batman - the most orderly and logical and self-controlled of all of us - is a monster inside, then we are all monsters inside, and that is terrifying. The Joker is terrifying because we fear that we are like him deep down - that he is us. Batman is what we (any average person) could be at our absolute best, and the Joker is what we could be at our absolute worst. The Joker’s claim is that we are all terrible deep down, and it is only the law and our misplaced sense of justice that keeps us in line. Since Batman isn’t confined by the law, he is a perfect test case to try to get him to "break.” The Joker wants Batman to kill a person, any person, but knows that the only person Batman might ever even remotely consider killing would have to be a terrible monster, so is willing to do this himself and sacrifice himself to prove this macabre point. Batman needs to prove that it is not just laws that keep us in line, but basic human decency and our natural instinct NOT to kill. If Batman can prove this, then others will be inspired by his example (the citizens of Gotham, but again, also the readers), just as we are all inspired every day to keep civilization running smoothly and not descend into violence, anarchy, and chaos. This ability to be decent in the face of the horrors and temptations present all around us is humanity’s superpower, the superpower of each of us. The struggle of Batman and the Joker is the internal struggle of each of us. But we are inspired by Batman’s example, not the Joker’s, because Batman always wins the argument, because he has not killed the Joker. and that is why their dynamic works and why not killing The Joker is important. And that is simply why I love The Joker and why I cannot stand it when tumblr dismisses him as a abusive fuckboy or whines about him doing villainous acts and not understanding why Batman won’t kill him.

Harley Quinn isn’t a pushover or defenseless cinnamon roll “that must be protected at all costs”. Harley can defend herself and kick Joker’s ass, she can hold her own against Batman(Harley came the closest to killing Batman) or any of the rouge’s gallery and she can fought Mercy Graves and she won that fight!

Harleen Quinzel is not super smart as the New 52/Assault On Arkham/Injustice likes to say, but Harley is clever in her own way.  Harley’s father was a con artist and abusive. Harley became a psychiatrist to understand her father and to make a book on the rouges of Arkham Asylum, yes she slept her way to get a PHD. But that in away was smart. Harley is smart, but she likes partying more than studying, and gymnastics more than flipping through boring text books. She got into the university on a gymnastics scholarship, after all. So naturally, her grades were lackluster, meaning Ds and Fs. So she decided to boost the grades the old fashioned way, through sex with professors. She still gets to party and train, but she also gets top marks that would get her into Arkham Asylum, where she could train at becoming a pop psychologist. In a way, it was strategic thinking on Harley’s part. Harley is smart, but she isn’t super smart.

Harley works best as a second in command/follower. Why?  Because she became a villain in the first place to follow someone. And she as a villain only follows two people, Joker and Ivy. She has no motivation if she’s not following someone else, and her character is not meant to be heroic or quirky. She’s obsessive, lovesick and is solely devoted to her two loves. She kills for Joker and Ivy, she steals for them, she collaborated with them. If she’s not with one of them, her heart isn’t in it. And having her own solo series had rendered her into just another generic female anti hero. And since she was created to be a sidekick, she really works best in small doses. Trying to overwrite her character weakens the complexities of her.

Harley’s dad was and is a con artist. He’s been in and out of jail, constantly cheating on Harley’s mom, duping rich women for everything they have. Growing up in Bensonhurst around her constantly cheating and lying father, being left in squalor with her bitter mom and slacker brother, Harley vowed she’d be different, make a difference and actually be somebody. But it’s the classic tale of growing up to be what you hate. Harley loved cutting corners like her dad, though I imagine she always justified that to herself by saying she was actually going to make a difference, unlike her con artist father. And then she also became her mother, by falling in with The Joker, who is scarily a lot like her father.

Harleen Quinzel  was already traumatized and unstable from her fiance committing suicide right front of her but went into Arkham right after that anyways because she wanted to study the inmates from Arkham Asylum and wanted to study The Joker so she could be famous for  learning his secrets, which we all know what happened. I would say the madness was already in Harley just buried underneath, The Joker just helped it surface.

Harleen Quinzel did not come to Arkham Asylum to help people. Harleen was power hungry and saw the inmates as a get rich quick scheme for a book and wanted to be the one to understand The Joker’s secrets and what made him what he is. In her own words. “I’ve always had an attraction for extreme personalities, they’re more exciting more challenging. You can’t deny there’s an element of glamour to these super criminals.”

Harley Quinn is not a hero nor is she a anti-hero as DC has been trying to reshape her as. Harley Quinn IS A VILLAIN! Harley is not this role-model, she is a psychopath and a villain. Harley is not as psychotic as The Joker, Harley Quinn can be just as dangerous. Harley isn’t this precious baby, she isn’t a precious teddy bear and she isn’t someone to coddle regardless of how much you love her.  She doesn’t need to be protected from The Joker when she’s a super villain who has murdered her fair share of people and can hold her own against The Joker. She’s also crazy exuberant and peppy. She’s lighthearted evil.

Harley Quinn does not have Stockholm Syndrome. She is a willing accomplice to the Joker and knows exactly what she’s doing. She was never taken hostage or held against her will. She chose this lifestyle from the beginning. She as the Joker’s doctor crossed the line when getting getting romantically involved with him. You may not like the Joker or how he can treat her at times, but the truth is Harley Quinn took advantage of her mentally ill patient who was already declared legally insane before she ever met him. She has always been in the wrong. She begged and pleaded with the Arkham staff just to get to treat him so she could write a tell all book about the Joker. She’s not innocent. She’s a villain, not a victim.

Like it or not The Joker and Harley are made for each other. Harley’s entire character is built around The Joker. The only way Harley would ever be free from Joker’s influence is if she stripped away the clown aesthetic, stopped calling herself Harley Quinn and became Harleen Quinzel again. Harley is supposed to be obsessed with the Joker and no one else, she was created for The Joker.  In my opinion, taking away the obsession a character is literally built around will not improve it.  Everything would have been different if Harley hadn’t been built around the Joker, but she was created for him, therefore taking her away from him not only is out of character, but is also bad for the character itself. Joker, like it or not, was and still is what made Harley a special, complex character. Harley Quinn does not work without The Joker and does not work by trying to make her a hero or an anti-hero. She was created to be a villain and taking that away does not work at all

#The Joker #Harley Quinn #Jarley #Joker x Harley #Joker and Harley

[the-galaxy-collector]

Decent

Chapter Rating: NC-17

Warning(s): smut, light angst, mentions of childhood cancer

Word Count: 3.8K

Character(s): Negan x OC

Prompt from: @buckykingofmemes

Negan leaned back in his chair, stretching wide and yawning loud. He put his hands underneath this glasses and rubbed them over his face. He’d been at this shit for hours, with no end in sight. He knew what he should do right now and what he absolutely didn’t have time for.

Then a knock sounded through the room and he huffed loudly. All his resolve was going to slip away if he was distracted even the tiniest bit. He’d known that about himself forever. Hell, Lucille constantly used that against him when she wanted something.

“Come in,” he called, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Are you decent?”

“Not morally,” he quipped. “But I’m wearing pants, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You think you’re funny, huh?”

“I’m hilarious.”

He laughed loudly when he saw her peek around the door to make sure he wasn’t lying. He folded his arms over his chest when she finally walked inside. She looked straight to the bed he’d set up a couple of weeks ago in his office. He knew what she was looking for too. She never voiced it, but she was always scared to walk in on one of wives. Most people were worried about that, probably just by the fact that there were so many.

“Yes?”

“Oh, uh, I wanted to go over inventory for the infirmary. You told me to come back later…”

“And it’s later,” he interrupted, waving her forward. “Come on.”

She laid the large, leather-bound book on his desk and he flipped through the pages. He was trying to concentrate on what he was reading, but he could feel her eyes on him. He also didn’t need to be this close to her. Ever. He tried to joke about his attraction to her to make it less uncomfortable for both of them, but it wasn’t working. For him at least.

“Get me a drink,” he ordered without looking up.

She stood right there, planting her feet. He smirked again and looked up the length of her body slowly. She had the most stubborn look on her face and her eyebrows were perked.

“Please,” she commanded.

“Please.”

She rolled her eyes once and walked over to the bar top and he shook his head, going back to the work in front of him. Only she could get away with that shit and he definitely wasn’t about to tell her either. He was just glad it hadn’t happened in front of anyone yet. They’d never let him forget. His wives would be pissed too. No one talked to him like that. But with her, he just let her do it. Like he was some pussy-whipped teenager. He managed to check everything over before she came back with his drink and, surprisingly, one of her own.

“Bad day?”

“Why do you ask?” she said, taking a swig of the vodka straight from the bottle.

“What happened?”

“One of the kids is sick.”

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Do you need medicine? I can go get you something if you’re out. You just gotta tell me this shit.”

“It’s not something medicine is gonna fix, Negan.”

“What is it?”

“Cancer,” she said flatly. “And it’s spreading quickly, from what I can tell, which I can’t because I don’t have a way to do that. Or stop it. Or…”

“Whoa, whoa. Calm down.”

He didn’t think about it as he stood up and walked around the desk until he was right next to her again. Yeah, this wasn’t a good idea, but he didn’t care the minute he saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

“This shit happens,” he whispered. “Do you want me to go with you and talk to the parents?”

She shook her head. “I can do it. I’ve been a doctor for a long time. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deliver terrible fucking news.”

‘If this was… before,” he started again, “what would you have done?”

“Are you trying to make me feel worse?”

“No.”

He was trying to distract her. He was trying to remind her who she was. It’d been a while that they’d known each other and he could tell pretty quickly that all of this shit had changed her. It had for a lot of people, but they were still mostly themselves. This had caused a core shift in her. He wanted her to go back to the beginning. He wanted to know her.

She came to sit down beside him on the tattered couch, still clutching the bottle like it was her lifeline. Right now, it probably was.

“I, uh, probably would have ordered a CT scan,” she admitted after a minute or two of silence. “And then, I would have come up with a treatment plan. Probably surgery.”

“Because you’re a surgeon,” he offered.

“Yes, because I was a surgeon.”

“Alright, then what? What about the surgery?”

It wasn’t long before she was describing in graphic detail, mostly with her eyes closed, exactly how it would have gone. He had no doubt, by the time she was done, that she was amazing at her job and he’d made the right choice in recruiting her. And he’d actually done just that. He hadn’t forced her or blackmailed her. He had recruited her and he’d done the right thing. She wasn’t a person that responded to that shit and he was starting to love her for it.

“Tomorrow, I’m gonna take some of the guys out and we can look for some of that.”

“I’m not performing that surgery in here.”

“Not that part,” he corrected quickly. “The medicine part. The, uh, what’d you call them. Immuno…”

“Immunotherapy drugs?”

“Yeah, that shit. People had cancer before all this went down too.”

He couldn’t help it as he immediately thought of Lucille and wondered if any of the stuff she was talking about would have helped. A lot of it was brand fucking new before the world went to crap. So, probably not. And it didn’t do him any good to think about anyway.

“He needs radiation, Negan. Not drugs.”

“Well, I can get the drugs.”

“Negan…”

“No, I’m going tomorrow and we’ll get it.”

“I’m coming too, then,” she said forcefully. “You won’t know what you’re looking for.”

“I can read,” he teased.

“Yes, I know, but I would feel better if I went too. In case I see some other stuff we can use.”

“Fine, we leave in the morning.”

He was wound like a damn top when she left the room half an hour later. She was excited to get out and look around. She’d want to grab everything and he’d let her, but all he could think about as he laid down was something happening out there and her getting hurt. There were a couple of reasons why he couldn’t lose her. The top of that being he saw her as a friend. He didn’t have many of those. Any, he corrected himself. He didn’t really have any of those.

“God dammit, woman. Stay close,” he hissed and jerked her back to his side.

She was practically skipping as they made their way through the abandoned hospital. It’d been a longer trip than he’d make for anyone, or anything, else. But he could tell he’d been right about picking this place when her face lit up at the sign on the door. A cancer treatment center was sure to have everything she needed. He hoped.

She darted off from him again and he chased after her. He was basically growling as he followed her into a larger room. He wanted to be mad at her for not listening, but it wasn’t working. He just smiled at her like an idiot as she ran around the room looking at all the different instruments.

“You’re seriously demented,” he teased.

“Says the man with a bat covered in barbed wire.”

He chuckled loudly and shook his head, looking around for a seat. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for her to pick out what she wanted. If he closed his eyes he could pretend they were in some nameless department store and he was waiting for her to pick out a dress. Instead of what was actually happening.

“I’m done,” she said after a while.

His eyes popped open and he realized that was the first time he’d let that happen outside of the Sanctuary. He never let his guard down like that. Sure, she could take care of herself but clearly he trusted her on some level he’d never even thought about.

“Oh, uh, okay. You ready to go?”

“This was the first room,” she laughed.

“Oh, fuck me,” he groaned.

“No, thank you.”

“Oh, really now? Why not?” He called after her.

She whipped her head back and stared straight at him. It was if to say ‘yeah right’, but all he saw were those eyes and that smirk and damnit if it didn’t go straight to his dick. Making him shift uncomfortably as he trailed behind her into another room.

He kept his head down as he went in behind her, knowing this would be the worst idea he’s ever had if he let this get to him. She was literally not asking for it. She told him what he needed to know and he would just have to deal with this bullshit himself.

“Negan,” she whispered. “Negan… please.”

He looked around the room and found her staring in horror at something just out of his line of sight. He went to stand beside her and finally saw it. A walker was standing in a corner, wheezing and looking directly at her. Now the growl that had been building was slipping past his lips as he sauntered forward.

“Negan, don’t,” she whispered again.

He stuttered a little bit, but still held the bat up like he was at home plate. He looked as confused as ever. “What?”

“That’s Dr. Vargas, Negan. You can’t.. I don’t…”

“Babe, go into the hallway,” he said, letting Lucille slip to the floor. “Go in the hallway. I’ll be quiet.”

“No, Negan. Just…”

“He’s not Dr. Vargas anymore. You know that. You’ve dealt with this enough times. Come on, now.”

Her head dropped and she shuffled into the hallway. He had no idea why he stopped. He’d never stopped when he was set like that. And yet, all she had to do was look like she was ready to cry and he was a puddle at her feet. He swung the bat and let the walker hit the floor with a dull thud.

He heard her stifle a sob as best she could, but it was still loud enough for him to hear. He walked back toward her, breathing heavily. He motioned for everyone else to take a walk. He didn’t care where they went. Just anywhere else..

Negan pulled her into his arms, propping Lucille up at his feet. She cried earnestly, like she hadn’t really cried in years and it hit him: she hadn’t. She had saved all that up, put on a brave face, and played doctor. She hadn’t stopped before now. She hadn’t realized what this was doing to her. He’d seen it. Hell, everyone had seen it, but she was finally seeing it. He just hoped he would be able to get her back in the car and home without too much trouble. She was going fall apart on him, he was damn sure of that. He just needed to get the fuck out of here before that happened.

“Come on,” he cajoled. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go. We can come back another day.”

“No,” she said, pushing him back. “No. That’s a waste of gas, Negan. I’m… I’m fine.” He gave her a look, searching her face. “I’ll be fine,” she corrected.

She ran her hand down his arm and laced their fingers together and his heart thumped loudly in his chest, like it was trying to escape its cage. All she was doing was holding his hand and he could tell if she asked right now he’d give her whatever she wanted.

The next couple of rooms were like the first with Negan sitting quietly and her rifling through everything. By the time they hit the 4th room, she had two big duffle bags full of stuff.

The saviors were still making themselves scarce and Negan was grateful for it. He never got time like this with her, definitely not outside his office.

She stopped at another room and dropped the bags outside the door before pulling him in too. The room was just beds. Almost like cots. He didn’t understand why this was important since they had plenty of those, nicer sheets than these too. He heard the lock click behind him and it hit him where they were.

“On-call room,” she confirmed, pulling her shirt up over her head.

“Whoa, what’re you doing?”

“Make me feel better, Negan. Please.”

She tacked on the last bit as playful, but he could see the pain in her eyes. “I don’t wanna…”

“Don’t want to have sex with me?” she finished for him. “Oh my God,” she said, pulling her shirt back up off the floor. “I’m such an idiot. Oh God, I’m so sorry.”

“No. No. That’s not… no,” he laughed. “That’s not it at all.”

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, trying to find a point on the wall to stare at so he could hold a conversation with her. She was still standing there, barely covering herself with her shirt. His head and his dick were on very different pages right now.

“Listen, it’s not that. I want to.”

“Okay, then… what? Is it your wives? I won’t tell anybody.”

“I would give them all up for one time with you, okay?” he blurted out. She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “I can’t, though. You’re upset. That’s not exactly what I’ve fantasized about.”

“You’ve… fantasized about me?” she asked, her voice impossibly small.

“Have you seen you? Course I have, doll.” He stood up and walked over to her, crossing the room quicker than he meant to.  

“What exactly did you imagine?”

He’d never seen her like this. She was shy for the first time since they’d met. He’d seen her kill hundreds of walkers. He’d seen her punch a guy out cold one for touching her ass. Hell, he’d ever seen her comfort a grown man scared of needles. But not once had she ever looked like she did right now.

He put his finger under her chin and forced her eyes upward. She licked her lips and then bit the bottom one again and he let his eyes roll in the back of his head for a second before he righted himself.

“I always pretend you come to my room one night and you just have to have me.” She smiled. “Or, ya know, in the kitchen.”

“The kitchen?”

“Oh, hell yeah. Especially after the first time you made the chocolate shit. You kept licking the spoon and twirlin’ it around your tongue. I knew you did that for me.”

“I... actually didn’t.”

“For someone else?”

“No,” she said softly. “I just really, really like chocolate.”

“Well, damn,” he continued, leaning forward, “if I’d known you like it that much, I’d have made the guys get more sooner.”

“Yeah?”

He didn’t even give himself time to think as he answered her question with a kiss. It was gentle, at first, and then she was pulling him down to her level. She let her shirt drop again and wrapped her hands around his neck, trying to get closer to him than he already was.. He moaned loudly into her mouth as her tongue darted out in search of his.

“Are you sure?” he found himself asking.

“Yes, please. Just… fuck,” she answered.

Negan didn’t hesitate now in wrapping his hands around her thighs and pulling her up to the same height, pinning her against the door. When he was confident she wouldn’t fall, he let his hands fall to her sides, exploring as much of her body as he could reach. And it wasn’t enough.

He put both his hands under her ass and lifted her up before throwing her on the nearest bunk. The bed creaked ominously under his weight, but she didn’t even seem to notice as she wiggled out of her jeans and panties.

“Next time, I do that,” he instructed.

He didn’t miss that she didn’t debate that there would be a next time. She just nodded her head and pulled him back down for another kiss. He pulled back just enough to take off his own shirt before diving back down to leave gentle kisses down her neck. He was trying to be slow about this shit and she was thrusting up to meet him, arching her back into him, making this almost intolerable.

“Fuck me, please,” she begged.

Then something inside him snapped. He pulled one of her legs up and over his shoulder as he scooted down the bed.

“Not like that,” she said suddenly, pulling him back up.

“I swear you’ll like it,” he smirked, kissing the inside of her thigh.

“I swear I won’t,’ she retorted.

“Excuse me? What the fuck did you say? You don’t like people eatin’ your pussy? That can’t be true.”

“It is.”

“We have time.”

“I really don’t like it.”

“What kind of woman doesn’t like head?”

“This kind.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” he admitted finally.

“Negan, I…”

“Let me try. If you hate it, I’ll stop okay?” She sat up on her elbows and stared down at him before lowering herself back down to the mattress as consent. “Damn, I’ve never had to convince someone to let me do this before.”

She laughed once before it was cut off with a moan as he slipped a finger inside her. He was suddenly nervous to try much more since she’d seemed pretty serious about not liking it. Sure, it was probably because no one else had known what they were doing like he did.

She was a writhing mess in no time as he pumped his fingers at an unforgiving pace.

He moved forward, unable to be this close to her glistening pussy without a taste, and sucked her clit into his mouth with no warning. She cried out, but it was in pleasure. Her hands shot to his hair, moving his head where she wanted him. He was grinning wide, his tongue darting in and out, as he kept up until she came loudly all over his face.

Her juices were dripping down his chin when he pulled back and looked up at her. “Don’t like that shit, huh?”

“I... never… have… before,” she said in between gasps.

He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand and made his way back up her body slowly. It was excruciating for him, but it seemed worse for her. She was clawing at him to speed him up, but he was taking way too much pleasure in denying her this. She’d already gotten greedy. He knew she’d never cum like that before and it didn’t seem like enough. It wasn’t for him either, but he couldn’t voice that.

When he made it back to her face, he put his arms on either side of her head. He peppered her face with sloppy kisses before sliding a hand between them. She was still dripping onto the mattress below them, which he took as a good sign as he lined up at her entrance.

Negan inched his way inside, having to stop a couple of times to keep from coming inside her. She was tighter than anyone he’d been with. Most of it came from the fact that she hadn’t had sex since the world crashed and burned around them. A fact he’d found out completely by accident and one he’d wanted to correct since.

When he was pushed to the hilt, hitting her cervix, they both let out a heavy sigh. He figured it was safe to start moving when she started to scratch lines down his back. Lines he was going to have to explain later. Or maybe not, he thought.

“Negan…,” she whined, snapping him out of his thoughts.

They found their rhythm quickly and he realized all the normal tricks weren’t working on her… or on him. He didn’t need her to talk dirty to him or to degrade her. Both practices he regularly needed to get anywhere as close to what he was now. Nope, just being buried in her was enough for him.

Just as he was about to get off, she’d stopped him and made him lay on his back. He let her take complete control, something else he didn’t ever do, as she lowered herself onto his cock. She put her hands on his chest and impaled herself on him, crying out louder and louder. He knew he should care. They hadn’t exactly secured the area and she was sure to draw some attention, but then he was matching her sounds too and he couldn’t find it in himself to give a shit.

He reached between them and rubbed furiously, not caring who heard. It was giving him some weird sense of satisfaction to know every single one of his guys could hear what he was doing to her. Something none of them would ever have.

“Negan… Oh fuck… I’m gonna…”

“Let go,” he commanded. “Cum all of over my dick, baby. Please…”

He sat up as he felt her walls contracting around him, demanding his release too. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she fell apart, riding out her orgasm as he finally let himself go. She choked on a sob as her head came down out of the clouds and he lazily tasted every part of her skin that he could get his mouth on. The thin sheen making her seem every sweeter somehow.

A light knock at the door sounded in the small room and she moved her head to look at it, but didn’t move her head off his shoulder. He laughed quietly as he went to answer it and she whined at the loss of contact.

“We got company, boss.”

He grunted a response and started to pick up pieces of clothing, tossing her what she’d lost too. They got dressed in a hurry and ran from the room. She pulled her hair up haphazardly as the first walker appeared around the corner.

“Where’s my stuff?” she asked, looking around where she left.

“Already in the car,” Simon called.

She nodded and held out her hand for one of the guns, which someone handed over easily. “Nope. Go get whatever you can grab. I’ll meet you at the car.”

She looked at him for a second before slowly walking toward him and forcing him down again. She kissed him with everything she had before letting him go.

“Don’t die, asshole,” she said before running off down the hall.

He had a huge grin on his face as he motioned for someone to follow her and then turned back to the walkers in front of him. God, he was in so much trouble.

#what the fuck just happened #negan smut #negan may or may not own my ass now #along with like 12 other tv crushes #i have a problem #i'm not changing shit #i love it too much #i never write smut #and there's only a little bit of evil #evil is my dayjob #and I fucking rock at it #this like never happens #twd negan #lord help me #send help #smut #fluff #angst