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#is that of universal flux i think
shittywriterbrain · 4 months
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the thing is usually i love those moments when the doctor's like "the whole universe died! so many people were killed! because of me! i will be emotionally scarred for the rest of my unending life!!" but this time it was about the flux, a story SO BORING i actually couldn't keep watching. i don't remember shit about the flux. not even that half the universe was destroyed which, honestly, might make me give it a watch
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ladypepperofdavenshire · 11 months
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WELL
it seemed like a good time to give these two a proper introduction, wanted poster style!  This is like, the Reader’s Digest version of the gist of their story; there’s obviously more involved but I’m keeping a majority of it close to the chest for now, unless I continue to leak things in increments as I’ve been doing LOL
 I’m considering doing a lil intro for Xi as well since she’s important to the story as the villainess hunting these two down 🤔
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"not the time for scrupules, we have to save the future"
#basically same line i just hear them differently in french idk why#i also catch a lot more plot in french somehow?#not big plot but the little things like 'im gonna go here do this and youre gonna go there do that'#in english they slide right off me in french i suddenly hear them its really weird#anyway thinking abt yasmin 'postponing the breakdown' khan#it's different than what 13 is doing i think#maybe once back home it'll turn into smth similar as 13 is doing idk#but here it's different it's pragmatic#oh right thats what i used to think about back with flux right? the respnsibility#i think yaz feels a lot of responsibility which is sligthly different from the doctor's Duty#all the things yaz does are Slightly Different to what the doctor's doing bc yaz is a person still#she has a family and a history and you feel that when she makes her choices#when she consciously prioritises the doctor you feel that#when the doctor betrays their values it's just themself#when they prioritise one person over the universe it's just themself to be accountable to#the fact that it's 'over the universe' at all is part of the issue#anyway#like i mean. Duty is like a platonic ideal. but it's impersonal. yazs sense of responsibility. to the doctor. to her family.#is very personal and tangible#it's not DutyTM as in 'i need to do this bc i told myself so and otherwise i wont deserve my name'#it's just. she cares#and i think all of the things they have the same but different are abt that difference#about what 13 says on the beach. in a way#wough thasmin#i need to write them#need to come up with some nice plot for them#like 6 months post potd happy ever after au. 6 months-1 year smth like that
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frogmascquerade · 8 months
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metamorphicrocky · 4 months
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at first I thought it was endearing to see the doctor constantly being like "oh do I say things like that now? is this who I am?" because it's an old face but with all the experiences and changes that come with living longer. so unlike ten, fourteen is open about his feelings because there were lingering regrets with not telling people how she felt as thirteen
BUT NOW. not-donna saying you're scared. because of the flux. because the universe destroyed itself just in the chance it could destroy you. and you know now that you're not from gallifrey and that scares you. because the doctor is scared. everything they ever knew is thrown out because on top of everything an old face came back and the doctor can't figure out why
the timeless child and the flux just being MENTIONED brought the doctor to frightened tears and we have never seen anything like that before. the doctor is so so lost and just wants to know who they are. so regenerating into something new but old has thrown them off so much that at every turn he thinks "huh. is this who I am?" and it is so strange to see the doctor unsure about themself, questioning their identity every second. and it is HEARTBREAKING
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alice-blogs-things · 4 months
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I hadn't wanted to make any speculations about why Fourten is back (in-universe reasons, I mean) in case I was proven wrong, but after tonight's episode I want to throw my hat into the ring now. Specifically, after the Timeless Child and the Flux was brought up.
Fourten is a comfort face. That's my current guess. Thirteen had her whole sense of herself shaken by the Timeless Child reveal. And then everything that happened during Flux only made it worse. Fourten is the regenerational equivalent of someone who's just survived something traumatic surrounding themselves with things from their past that makes them feel safe.
Maybe that's why the Doctor's gone back to the Temple-Nobles, as well. A chance to catch their breath between new faces and new people and new everything, to take a bit of time to be with old friends with an old face. Another chance to have a laugh with his best friend. To hug the man he'd have been proud to be the son of. To be reassured that Sylvia's much the same, that Shaun's a good husband, that everything they did meant something in the end, even if it had to be memory wiped.
That's why this is happening, it's a buffer period for the Doctor to get their bearings. Which then leads me to think that the regeneration is going to come because they're going to be reminded that they need to keep moving on, even if it's painful and confusing and they don't like it. And that's gonna be where Fifteen comes in, I think.
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causalityparadoxes · 4 months
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Re the Doctor talking about destroying half the universe. Was the Flux never undone? Did I misremember it as being undone? Like it just happened. Half the universe poof, gone forever.
SPEAKING of destroying half the universe. Was the destruction of half the universe in the 4th Doctor episode, Logopolis, ever undone either? Cause if Nyssa's home planet stayed destroyed, then I dont think it was.
Sooo.... if the Doctor destroyed half the universe...
And then later destroyed half again...
Has the Doctor destroyed 3 quarters of the total universe? Because damnnnn, picture of their face next to genocide in the dictionary indeed.
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Me, to my new date: doctor who thinks it's a sci-fi story because the Doctor thinks it's a sci-fi story and because the companions think it's a sci-fi story, but it's really just a story about ghosts. a story about an ancient creature carrying the ghosts of everyone they have ever loved, meeting new people, and seeing them only as future ghosts. they are haunted by the future and the past and the present because they are the only constant in a world constantly in flux, and they are running as fast as they can to things before they burn and fade to dust but everything will always end, you understand, because this is the only thing the Doctor understands and yet they keep going. they love too much to stop. doctor who is not science-fiction, it's horror and optimism and spiritual more than anything else, it's religious unto itself, the TARDIS is a haunted house and a church and a graveyard and a hospital and the Doctor is the most haunted being in the universe but more than anything, this is a love story, because how can you love something without being haunted by it- hey, what are you doing?
My date, shoving breadsticks in their purse: I have to go-
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intuitive-revelations · 3 months
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FLUXES [Celestis: Engineered Participants / Technologies] Example: "DOCTOR, The"
[Image description, courtesy of @quailfence: a series of pictures of text, alternated with screencaps and gifs from Doctor Who.
1: Text: Fluxes: [Celestis: Engineered Participants/Technology] Individuals transposed backwards in time but not too far in space, using a very high chaotic limiter setting and tied to their home period by a thread of biodata
2: The Eleventh Doctor stands in the future corpse of his TARDIS, looking and a pulsing stream of light that has replaced the console. He says, "That is the scar tissue of my journey through the universe. My path through time and space."
3: Text: He raised a finger. 'Look. There.
Now she could just make out the thread in the moonlight. It was just a faint reflection, maybe a foot or two long, about a metre off the ground. A taut strand of spiderweb hanging in the air, not attached to anything.
'What is it?' Fitz asked.
'It's only partially rotated into three dimensions,' he said. He pushed his finger right through the glimmering line, without affecting it. 'That's why it looks one- or two-dimensional. The rest is still perpendicular to what we can see - woven into higher space, or the time vortex…'
'Yes,' said Fitz, 'but what is it?' 'It's what your friend mistook for a ley line.' The Doctor was scuttling around the silver thread, peering at it from every angle, getting more and more agitated. 'It's part of the fabric of space-time itself. What DNA is to your genetic code, this stuff is to biodata. And it's all just exposed here now. Personality, history, memory, perception, all vulnerable…'
'I'm going to have to ask you again, aren't I?' said Fitz.
The Doctor said, 'It's me.'
4: The Fourteenth and Fifteenth doctors in the TARDIS. 14: "But you're fine?" 15: "I'm fine, because you fixed yourself. We're Time Lords, we're doing rehab out of order."
5: Text: The subject is turned loose in his or her own history, and the limiter setting allows tiny actions taken by the future version to have considerable effects on the past version. The biodata link then transfers these changes to the future version, which alters it, and thus alters the changes made to the past version. Therefore, the individual's history is kept constantly in flux.
6: The Fugitive Doctor says, "Let me take it from the top: Hello, I'm the Doctor."
7: Text: Let me finish. Think back to that time when you went to see your previous selves.
8: Ten, Eleven, and War talk to each other. Ten: "You're not actually suggesting that we change our own personal history?" Eleven: "We change history all the time. I'm suggesting far worse."
9: Text: 'Maybe there's no one home on Gallifrey,' said the boy softly. There was just the one of him.
The Doctor looked at him, cupping the small white cube in his hands. The boy said, Maybe they all left. Or maybe the whole planet's being destroyed, and undestroyed, and destroyed, and you just caught them at the wrong moment.
10: The TARDIS by the ruins of Gallifrey
11: Text: 'It's impossible,' said the Doctor. 'It's impossible for my people. Our past is unreachable. What's written can't be unwritten.'
'Who said your history can't change?'
Another boy answered, 'Someone from his history.'
And another: 'Maybe it's the second-biggest lie in Time Lord history.'
12: Dhawan!Master tells Thirteen, "You are the Timeless Child."
13: Thitreen stares at a ruined house. Swarm whispers in her ear and tells her, "All the memories you've lost, all the people you've been. It's all in there, contained within that house."
14: Text: And it was like the Doctor's home. As if his ship understood the loss of the House and had compensated to fill the emptiness. Shadowy corridors, alcoves and stairways, a secret at every turn. Like being in the Doctor's head. Like his life, for that matter, the details of which were strewn like flotsam across the floor.
15: Text: 'Sweet,' said the little boy. 'That's my favourite of your origin stories, too.'
The Doctor opened his eyes. He had been laughing, he realised, he felt that lightness in himself. The boys had all moved away, behind him, leaving him facing the empty dark of the warehouse.
'What do you mean?' he asked. His voice sounded very small.
'Is this the version where they banned all mention of his name, and yours, for consorting with aliens? Or the one where he got every record of himself deleted from the files?'
'Feel free to believe either of them,' snapped the Doctor, 'or both of them, or neither of them. If you're curious about my past, I want there to be as many wrong answers as possible.'
16: The Eighth Doctor tells someone, "I'm half human. On my mother's side."
17: Text: 'Well he's a hybrid, you know that. A Gallifreyan not born of Gallifreyan, the one who unites the two races and brings good old human niceness into their alien society. Aliens need that, y'know.'
'A human hybrid? She saw the contempt in his curling lip. 'Pseudoscientific nonsense. There's no evidence,' he repeated.
'He's allowed to be different. He's got a prophecy and everything.'
18: Lady Me says, "By your own reasoning, why couldn't the Hybrid be half Time Lord, half human?"
19: Text: Someone giggled. 'Let's play pin the tale on the donkey.'
'Maybe you didn't use to have a father.'
'Maybe you're living in the middle of a time war. Maybe there's an Enemy out there -'
The Doctor shouted, 'I'm not listening!'
'- who's rewriting you when you're not looking!'
'Maybe you weren't always half human.'
'But now you've become always half human.' 'Maybe you weren't always a Time Lord.'
But now you've always been a Time Lord.'
'Maybe you originally came from some planet in the forty-ninth century. Fleeing from the Enemy who'd overrun your home -'
'I said I'm not listening! Laa laa laa laa laa -'
'- and you've just been written and rewritten and overwritten, ever since.'
'Pin the tale!'
'How d'you know it's not true?'
'How could you know it's not true?'
The voices crowded in. 'How would you know, huh?'
'How would you know?'
'How would 'How would you 'How 'How would you know? you know? you know? know?'
'Why would I care?' shouted the Doctor.
The boy fell silent.
20: Lady Me asks, "Am I right? Is it true?" Twelve replies, "Does it matter?"
21: Text: However, the one group from the Homeworld which has excelled at flux-engineering is the Celestis.
22: Two asks the Time Lords, "Now then… what about me?"
23: Tecteun tells Thirteen, "Which is ehy we engineered the Fluyx: Shut the universe down and you within it."
24: Text: Even Mictlan itself can be considered a kind of enormous flux, an endlessly-shifting realm so cortosive to the rest of history that its heartland has to be kept on the outer skin of the universe
24: The Fourteenth Doctor tells Donna, "I invoked a supersition, at the edge of the universe, where the walls are thin and everything is possible."
25: The space station from Wild Blue Yonder
26: Text: There are suggestions of a stable middle-ground between the two fates, in which the physical matter of the flux is lost but the meaning of the subject/ victim is retained, a series of memetic connections with no flesh to support it. Yet this entity exists only on a purely theoretical level, relying on the perceptions of others to survive at all.
27: The Twelfth Doctor walks up to the TARDIS console. He says, "Can't wait to hear what I say." Glancing at the viewer, he adds, "I'm noting without an audience."
28: Text: You know what Sam represents. If a tree falls in a forest and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound? Stop me if I'm getting too abstract here, but if a Time Lord saves the world and nobody witnesses him doing it, does history care? She's your witness. The thing you need to make you whole.
29: The First Doctor looks at the viewer and says, "Incidentally, a Happy Christmas to all of you at home!" End description.]
[Plain text: Fluxes [Celestis: Engineered Participants / Technologies] Example: "Doctor, The". End plain text.]
@dw-described
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transmutationisms · 8 months
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in general i think people get too hung up on taking easy potshots at politicians for wearing 'ugly' clothes and it obfuscates how those sartorial choices actually speak to their public image. for example kyrsten sinema's clothes are quite clearly meant to be provocative (by dc standards lol) and to clash; she's playing up the idea of being some kind of brash, flashy outsider despite what are actually quite standard-order reactionary politics. the clothes mean something; just calling them ugly is sometimes funny i guess, but ignores this entire dimension of meaning to them and is overly credulous toward us politics where a hefty dose of cynicism is called for. similarly, boris johnson's rumpled clothes and hair were part of a larger conscious effort to present himself as a populist, speaking to 'the people' 'on their level'. and just calling his clothes or hair ugly or making fun of them misses all of this and in fact ends up playing into his narrative where he's this 'real' down-to-earth guy endearingly stuck in a world of stuffy elites. like, it's annoying that fashion is considered so frivolous that these actually meaningful dimensions of it get glossed over in favour of just like, insulting people for wearing things that are 'out of style'. that type of good/bad aesthetic judgment is always contingent and in flux, yet it's treated as some kind of universal truth or standard that gives transcendent meaning to the statement "that's ugly". i think we can do better. all that said i really have no idea what's up with rishi sunak's suits
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novantinuum · 1 month
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Steven Q. Universe is not 145 lbs in Future and I will gladly die on this hill
Aight. I'm tired of the SU fan wiki spreading this too. Here we go. Here are a few reasons why the listing of his weight (and quite honestly, height too) on the wiki are nonsense and need to stop being spread around as fact.
Reason one: Steven's body proportions were completely in flux that entire episode anyways, and there's a good possibility even Priyanka's final "measurements" are inaccurate to his baseline.
Think about it.
We already see evidence of his height fluctuation in the hospital scene as it is.
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Connie's mother writes down a measurement...
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Notices him sprout just a little taller...
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And quickly corrects her measurements.
Not to mention, we've seen evidence of his weight fluctuating just an episode before.
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In Together Forever, while ruminating on the thought of Connie moving so far away for college, he turns pink and then sinks really hard into his mattress, as if he actively became heavier while he thought about these literally heavy thoughts.
If his height was fluctuating during the exam, it only makes sense that his weight was, too.
Reason 2: Priyanka has a specific way she writes the number 4
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Here is the full, completed clipboard. You can tell the whole thing was filled out by Priyanka, all text is in the same handwriting.
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Here is a close-up of her entries on height and weight.
The awkward number correction on the height makes sense. It's hard to tell if what she wrote at first was 5'1" or 5'6" but whatever it was, it seems she ultimately decided to change it to 5'5".
The weight entry is... corrected as well, but in a somewhat nebulous way.
People keep thinking that this entry was corrected to "145," but here's the thing- she doesn't write 4s like that.
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She doesn't close her 4s.
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I'm more drawn to believe she was correcting a number into a 9 by closing it, but to be fair, I will admit that her her normal, uncorrected 9s aren't as pointy and angular. It's not a 4, though. It doesn't make sense for it to be a 4. Why would you correct a number into a 4 in a different way than you normally write it? Closing a number into a wonky 9 is one thing, 9s have to be closed. But writing an open 4 and then correcting another one by closing it is just... gah. It doesn't make sense to me.
BUT. Here's the thing. Here's why- at the day- Steven's true weight is DEFINITELY not 145.
Reason 3: That is literally not how bodies work.
Folks, please remember that Steven is fat. He is consistently drawn with thick limbs and a tummy, EVEN in Steven Universe Future.
And as someone who has spanned the whole gamut between 195 and 145 lbs at various points of my life... let me tell you from personal experience that Steven absolutely does NOT have a 145 lbs sort of frame.
And like, I'm not gonna pin my money on 195 lbs exactly because of reason number one- Steven being in a complete state of proportional flux that episode anyways- but it's definitely a measurement that is FAR more in the realm of realism than 145.
Once again, in sum:
Steven is not 145 lbs and the measurements taken in this ep need to all be taken with an intense grain of salt anyways because he was literally shrinking and growing all over the map, thank you
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coldalbion · 2 months
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Dis/nomers: On misnomers, magic-metaphors, and life in general
So, here's the thing: a lot of societal and cultural metaphors around magic and occultism are in the so-called West, frankly, bad and a product of the imprecision in the English language about "power", which themselves are inherently modelled on industrial-capitalist frameworks thanks to the Industrial Revolution, and steam power. Think about what you mean when you use the word "power" or "intent" and ask yourself whether you are once again running on 19th Century (colonialist ideas: for example see non-Indigenous misconceptions of mana) that boil down to thinking you're a steam engine or some sort of closed system - because that's what the whole popular idea of energy comes from. Why? Because willpower doesn't really exist. Now something seems to be going on, when we do certain things. But are we hoodwinking ourselves - barking up the wrong tree, being led down the garden path -by the porting in pop-metaphor? Sure, it's easier, but is the apparent ease and clarity obscuring insights? Is it preventing us from taking our place as part of a living world; not clockwork and piston but inter-and-intra-relating, inter-and-intra-being in an 'animist' cosmovision? Consider the metaphors you use, and wonder how they're using you. Because they are - we are thinking-with-and-being-with the ongoing worlding of a daimonic (agential) kosmos. And that All is doing the same-with-us. Remember, changing the metaphors we use can change the way we think, and how we are in the world. This is why I mutter about kenning, as found in Old Norse poetry, but also as a method of indirectly approaching experience by folding in the world. Kenning is, in one sense creating a poetic metaphor, a circomlocution that describes a thing without direct nominalisation. A wheelchair user can be a throne-walker; the sea is not just the sea, it is the whale-road and also Aegir's-cauldron, Poseidon's-stable, etc etc.
"It is no coincidence that a kenning is a poetic term of art, a doubling and metaphoric circumlocution of a singular noun or thing – the sea becoming the “whale-road”, a sword seen as the “icicle of red shields”. A singular referent now exceeds itself, drawing the relationality with the whole world of those present. This indirectness, far from detracting from the referent, deepens the knowing. Each portion of the kenning exceeds itself also, thusly thickening the field of the sword or sea, and, in enhancing its relationality, enlivens each further. Further, this means that the poet acknowledges the excess of the referents, comprehending that kenning may build on kenning, and the full, totalistic mapping of a referent is doomed to fail in terms of completion. This goes even beyond the usual aphorism from astronomer Carl Sagan: “If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” For each element of the apple pie is capable of being defined by the relationality of all presences, in all forms, positions, and configurations in all possible and impossible universes – and each of these in turn relate to each other as they will. This then, is the joy and horror, the wonder and terror of an animate, fluxing kosmos – there is always more." - Goêtic Atavisms, Frater Acher & Craig 'VI' Slee (See link above: also available on Amazon as well as from the publisher if you need that)
Do we want to live in a world circumscribed by misnomers, grandfathered in with extractive and clunky ways of perceiving the world? Or do we want to embrace the dis/abling wyrd strangenesses of the numinous? The liberatory power of the dis/nomer - the radical proposition that there is always more than can be named, can be contained? That we might ken more if we embraced blurry, uncertain periphalisms which spiral endlessly inward and down into pandaemonic, living, breathing labyrinths? If we immersed ourselves in relational eddies, tides and gyres eternally returning-and-coming-forth-again - dis/membered and re-membered anew? To dive into currents and flows - the multiplicitous assemblage of influences which are the very bodyof the oceanic river which Herakleitos warned us that we could never enter in the same place twice? What might we notice is already happening, already ongoing, that we are amidst, then? Might we spot the plurality of Minotaurs engaging in their diasporic fugitivity, nomads in their myriad labyrinths, far older, wiser, and weirder than we thought we knew? Spaces of monstrously numinous sanctuary, far beyond the ken of the Theseus (their supposed slayer) and his identitarian regime of denial, his heroic ever-intact status quo. Pity the ship-builders in their labour; they work do so under the threat of sword - or is it gun and bomb, these days? But while Theseus abandons Ariadne, Dionysos does not! And while Theseus eschews the sea route to perform his labours in order to gain heroic glory and satisfy ambition, his oceanic ancestry has the last laugh - both mortal father Aegeus (thrown into the sea that bears his name) and he (thrown off an island cliff - presumably into the ocean) were reclaimed; seized by the sea and its thundering white horses. What might it be, to be oceanically possesed as that hero's mother was? To have one's soul-sea stirred by the Earthshaker? We can but dream on the matter - while also slyly noting that Athenians kept the Ship of Theseus preserved, as mark of divine heritage in their feted city ruled by the demos. What matters now, in these days when even politicians talk of the so-called "will of the people", is matters of ancestry and history dismissed; lineages of language and its many influences ignored - no entanglements here, vine or otherwise, we assure you! But thankfully, the ship-builders know the way of wood and net and weave. They know how many planks pass through their hands, how many nails struck, how much pitch is brewed. They know there's more. They're craftsfolk after all - assemblages are their business, whatever the material - they know what mattering is. And isn't it interesting that the Temple of Hephaistos in Athens was once mistakenly called the Thesseion - The Temple of Theseus, before the moderns realised their mistake? Watch the words we use, and how they use us. Be seeing you.
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notroosterbradshaw · 1 year
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The Relationship Experience - one
part of: The Boyfriend Experience universe
prologue
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Nothing especially interesting happened between the hours of 4:45am to now, in fact, the whole day had been so slow since Rooster retrieved his dog tags. It was about 6:30pm and you hadn’t heard from him. It wasn’t an entire surprise. He was at work; he didn’t have the luxury of the day off like you.
You were restless, so incredibly listless. After Rooster left, sleep didn’t come easily. Your brain couldn’t stop relaying the moments from the night before. By midday, you were buzzing on coffee and waning adrenaline. Tasks seemed impossible, all you managed was to remove your makeup and eat some bland toast. Everything felt out of flux and made you feel off-kilter, figuratively turned upside down.
You reckoned you had commenced and deleted at least 10 texts to Rooster to thank him again for yesterday, that you couldn’t stop thinking about his kiss, the way he touched you, that you were… absolutely infatuated with him.
What was most tragic was you couldn’t find the nerve to hit ‘send’ on absolutely any of them. In fact, you couldn't find the nerve to text anyone – not Natasha demanding how the night went; not your sister asking how you’d pulled up after such a big day; not the bride and groom thanking you and Bradley for your incredibly thoughtful wedding gift (how was it incredibly thoughtful if it was on a wedding registry, you’d never know but hey. They didn’t hate it) and that you must double date soon. Yeah, okay.
The most common thing you brought yourself back to while everything else spun around you? 
What had Bradley Bradshaw done to you? 
24 hours ago, you were fine, perfectly content with most aspects of your life with your strictly platonic friend, Rooster. And now? Not a single thing seemed to fit in its place.
At 7:01pm, your phone buzzed while you attempted the week’s lesson plans for yourself and your team, but little was coming to fruition. A little too eager, you knocked the phone directly off the bed and into the pile of yesterday’s still damp bridesmaid dress, rocketing you straight back to the dancefloor during the bridal waltz and the electricity of Rooster’s touch as he claimed your first dance together. God, he could move. The way he pulled your body to his, the gentle caress of his hands on your back. You could almost smell his cologne in the air –
Finding your phone, you saw another text from Natasha that simply said, ‘Please don’t make me call you. I hate talking on the phone. Just want to know Rooster didn’t murder you and leave you in a ditch x’
Confronting, you thought to yourself. It was time to give in.
You: I’m alive. Sorry, just working/planning the week’s lessons.
Natasha: Awesome, I’ll be there in 10. I have pizza, wine and I want every fucking detail from last night. Rooster is giving me absolutely nothing. Don’t be like Rooster. See you soon x
“Shit,” you muttered, still in your Lakers tee from this morning. You really should have made some kind of effort, realising if Rooster turned up unannounced – shit, you didn’t want to put that tragedy into the universe. Busting your ass, you ran for the shower and in record time, you’d washed your hair and ridded the rest of the last 36 hours off you as well.
Tossing on jeans and a tee over your bra and undies, you heard Natasha's relentless beating on the door. Dashing to it, you opened it to a very flustered, albeit adorable, Natasha Trace, pizza and wine in hand, as promised.
“You are the cutest delivery service ever,” you smiled, stepping out of the doorway and taking the pizza from her as she wandered in, rolling her deep brown eyes. 
“I was about to smash a window in. You’ve been radio silent all goddamn day, I thought you were dead!” she huffed, casual and not dissimilar to yourself in blue jeans and a white tee, hair in a messy bun. “Respond. To. Texts,” she instructed. “Especially when I’m absolutely desperate to know what happened last night!” she added the last a little hysterically as you bit back a laugh.
"It was okay. My feet are still killing me. You know, I don't mind weddings," you told her, falling on the couch, tossing the pizza box on the coffee table as she went to the kitchen. You put some music on for some background noise. "I just don't like being in them,” you clarified.
“Imagining your wedding day...” Natasha teased.
“Don’t think we have much to worry about there,” you giggled. 
Natasha smiled, wandering back with the glasses as you tuckered eagerly into a slice, not realising how hungry you were after forgoing most meals today. "I'm glad you had a good time; I've never seen anyone dread anything more. Rooster said he enjoyed himself."
His name off someone else’s tongue sent a jolt of electricity through your system. 
"He seemed to," you shrugged, not wanting to talk too much about him for fear everything will come out. She took a seat beside you, unscrewing the wine and pouring a glass each. 
“I’ll just take care of this too, huh?” she muttered as you apologised, a mouth full of cheese and pepperoni.
“Sow-ry,” you replied and swallowed, giving her a greasy smile. “I’m famished and this is so good.”
“I hope to find out myself,” she laughed quietly. “So, tell me everything. And don’t leave a fucking thing out because you are a terrible liar, and I will see right through it.”
Wide-eyed, you nodded, believing her. “Ask me anything, I guess?” you replied, frankly terrified of her for a moment.
"How was his suit? Details, immediately, if not sooner,” she asked calmly. Too calmly.
"Pretty good," you understated.
“Pix?”
“Uhh, no,” you replied. “There was some taken by the photographer, but it sincerely never crossed my mind to get any. Rooster and I didn’t pose for any.”
“You two are fuckin’ killing me!” she exclaimed as you shrugged, meekly. 
From the moment Rooster had sauntered into the reception, you were both so wretchedly lost in each other to consider the small things like pix and you loathed how excited this conversation would be if you were just allowed to be honest. Natasha Trace was your friend, a really fucking good one, she knew you (and Rooster) well and read people even better. “Blue velvet jacket, dark slacks,” you frowned as she did too. “Cute bow tie.”
“Did you dance or, like, be wallflowers all night?” her voice trailed off.
“We danced a few times. He’s a good dancer,” you force-fed yourself more pizza while the wine breathed. How could you overstep the mark if you were stuffing your face? Couldn’t incriminate yourself if you simply couldn’t speak! Logic? Denial. 
“Slow danced?” she wriggled her eyebrows as you laughed gently.
“Yes, we slow danced. He was very respectful, Carole raised him right.”
“Carole?”
“His mother,” you stood up and pointed to the photo on the wall that had Rooster so enamoured the night before.
“She’s really beautiful.”
“So beautiful.”
“Rooster looks nothing like her,” she studied the photo.
“No,” you grinned, plonking back down. “All his old man, even to the mo.”
“I honestly forgot how intrinsically linked you two are,” she said wistfully. “This whole thing of being friends for so long, then the classic fake relationship to save face at a wedding.”
And here it comes. “Nat…”
“You know the writing is clearly on the wall, right?” she told you, pulling at a string of mozzarella between her fingers. You felt completely transparent. She was daring you... and frankly, not having to try too hard.
“What do you mean?” you asked warily.
She plonked the cheese into her mouth and paused. “You know I’m a total romantic at heart.”
“Absolutely. What you’re doing with Bagman is baffling to me.”
“It’s only sex,” she rolled her eyes at you. “I’ve told you the rules.”
“And are you… following the rules?” you asked kindly. “Because initially, fucking Jake was a one-night thing… but now it’s like a weekly booty call on your whim. I cannot remember the last time he tried picking someone up in the bar. You wake up in each other’s beds - ” you reminded her thoughtfully.
“Bitch, you know I can dish it out, but I can’t take it,” she pretended to be sad, before blowing a raspberry and giving you the thumbs down.
“Have you said, ‘I love you’ yet?” you continued. 
“We’re not talking about me, all right?” she cracked. “We’re talking about you and Bradshaw. You’re the goss tonight, not me and Bagman,” she scoffed at the mere mention of Jake’s name.
Giggling quietly, you nodded. “Okay, ask me. You know you want to…”
Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Natasha was so ready for this. You just gave her all the ammo she needed. "Did he... kiss you?" she leaned forward, elbows on knees, so eager. Pouting, you sighed, and her smile grew. "I fucking knew it!" she exclaimed. “He was far too quiet for his usual grandstanding.”
“But you can’t say anything!” you pleaded, pointing at her.
“Then tell me everything I need to know and I’ll make sure to – ” she zipped her lips. “Let’s start again. Suit?”
“It was really fuckin’ good,” you said, a little dreamy in memory, easing back lazily on the couch cushions. “I’ve never seen him sexier. I don’t think I even thought he was sexy before last night.”
“Oh, babe. Rooster is stupidly hot and I say this from a strictly platonic place,” she informed you. "He will lay you so good. How did you never see it?”
“I mean, yeah, he was always handsome. But his suit...”
“Had to be more than a suit.”
“You’re right. It was everything...” 
Natasha’s smile was as dreamy as yours, so happy for you. “Did you sleep with him?”
“No,” you said, quickly. “Trust me when I say I tried. But he wasn’t having it.”
Frowning, maybe a little surprised, she asked, “Rooster? Rooster Bradshaw did not try to sleep with you?”
“No,” you said, subconsciously bringing back the embarrassment of earlier this morning. You still felt a little rejected and humiliated at how you threw yourself at Rooster, but Natasha didn’t seem to notice. Ew, you didn’t enjoy reliving it twice. 
“You did bring the right guy home, right?”
You nodded, solemnly. “Yes. I completely threw myself at him,” you confided.
“And he still didn’t bone you?” she frowned.
“No,” you sipped the wine, barely tasting it. Fuck.
“Holy shit, that big oaf is in love with you,” she prophesied, thrusting her arms in the air in comprehension.
“What?” you shook your head. “Knock it off, Natasha.”
“Nah, he wants to wait, he is considering this,” she pondered aloud, clutching her wine glass to her heart. “He’s gonna take you to a romantic dinner in town, have fuckin’ rose petals strewn everywhere, candles. He’s gonna lay you down and make sweet, sweet love to you – ”
“When did my life turn into a 90’s music video?” you wondered as she laughed.
“Oh, my God, I’m so happy for you guys! I’m so happy for myself because I was right, but oh, wow. He’s in deep! Tell. Me. More,” she exchanged her glass for pizza, taking a satisfying bite. “Don’t leave anything out.”
“Natasha, Rooster was a new person to me last night. He was so charming and funny, and handsome. Oh, my word - so sexy. He took such good care of me. Whenever someone made me uncomfortable, he held my hand, rubbed my back, and played with my hair. Always something. He touched me all night."
“Tactile,” she nodded, impressed.
“So tactile, yes!" you said in revelation, the smell of the pizza calling to you as you chewed another bite. "His hands are amazing. Strong, comforting, you know?"
“I feel I knew Rooster was capable of these things," she admitted, slowly. "But actually hearing it, I still don't completely believe it. Is he a good kisser?" she shimmied, desperate for the answer.
“The best kisser,” you sighed, memories reverberating through your mind of his lips on yours, his tongue pressing against yours -
“And the moustache?” she gave a face that may or may not have said ‘ick’.
“Will take some time, but I didn’t hate it,” you confessed. “Natasha?”
She hummed. “Yes, my love?”
“It was the best night of my life,” you said quietly.
“Holy fuck, you’re in love with him too,” she realised, the pizza falling from her grasp back into the box.
“No, no,” you waved the notion away. You’d never fallen fast in your life, and this certainly wasn’t going to be one of those whimsical rom-com times. “I mean, I had a crush on him in high school, and this feels nothing like it.”
“You had a crush on him in high school?!” she screeched.
“I never mentioned that?” you asked meekly and for good reason - if anyone got a sniff of your teenage crush on Rooster Bradshaw, it would be on for young and old and your soul didn’t need that embarrassment in your life and he probably didn’t either.
“And I’m just learning this now?!.”
“The crush disappeared when he left for college. It’s no big thing,” you told her honestly. 
And it really wasn’t. 
“I didn’t see him for a few years, and then I went to college, and we didn’t see each other for a while until around the time I met you,” you shrugged. While you spent your childhood and teen years in similar circles, you really drifted after Rooster turned 18. Why wouldn’t you? He was growing up and following his dreams. You were too.
Grandpa encouraged you to study over East (Annie had mentioned he didn’t want either of you young, dumb and settled on some Navy dolt who managed to say the right things to you and keep you trapped when there was a whole world to see) and accept a swimming scholarship before you tried to figure your life out. 
You’d swam all your life, competitively, you would teach as your summer job and after realising you weren’t the calibre required to swim professionally, passing your knowledge on seemed the next appropriate step. Swimming was a universal language, so you took a few courses and taught your way around th world for a while. 
It wasn’t a big thing that Rooster fell out of your life.
“I remember the night I met you,” Natasha smiled fondly. “My God, you little cutie patootie. Was it Annie’s hen’s night? Bachelorette?”
“Same same.”
“And Rooster was definitely in town.”
“Yeah, I think he was,” you recalled faintly. “Wow, I haven’t been that drunk in a while,” you admitted. “Thank Christ.” Putting your head in your hands, you recalled only bits and pieces of that night. The rest was a blacked-out mystery. Probably for the best.
“Must be growing up,” she teased, raising her wine glass to you. “I’ve never seen you so happy in our entire friendship and I’m so, so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” you said, taking her free hand and cuddling it to your cheek.
"You know, Rooster’s always been super into you, I can't believe I didn't set you two up earlier. I kind of regret it now."
"Nah,” you frowned, exchanging her cheek for your discarded pizza again.
"True story. I'd catch him watching you every once in a while, that way he immediately moves from his bar stool and ushers you in when you get to the bar. I'm not getting that treatment," she kind of huffed.
Holy shit, he did. Every time, he’d guide you with a gentle hand to your hip and you’d think absolutely nothing of it. 
“He’ll always order you a beer and you’ll drink a mouthful to be polite because you hate it but he always finishes it.”
“It’s a beer bar,” you shrugged. “Wait, what? He finishes it?”
“He’s not going to waste perfectly good beer,” Natasha reasoned as your phone pinged. You pleaded it wasn’t him, this was not the time for Rooster to text. Not with Natasha here. You were already getting grilled, but a text from him would only make matters worse –
“‘Rooster’ and a Rooster, cute,” she smiled, holding up your phone. “‘Missed you today. Did you still wanna catch up or…’” she said verbatim. “And kiss you a little more. Maybe see what comes up,” she gyrated on the couch. “Do you want me to leave?”
“He said he was going to come over, but I haven’t heard from him all day. You were here first.”
“Aww,” she said, almost touched. “It’s okay, text him back. You get yourself laid.”
Rubbing your face, embarrassed, you replied, “Nat, I love you, but you need to calm down.”
She breathed. “You’re right, I do. My two best friends are totally in love and I need to be cool, calm and collected about it,” she smiled, putting the lid on the pizza. “I will go, but I’m taking the pizza with me.”
“Nooo,” you replied, grabby hands for at least another slice. Curious, now knowing Rooster had a few obvious tells about his feelings for you, you dared ask, “Nat, did I do anything?"
“For what?”
“Did I have any tells with Rooster?”
She shook her head with a gentle smile. "Nah, no one can get a read on you, baby," she winked. “But Rooster... He's quieter when you're around. When you're not there, he's one of the boys, a part of the pissing contest, you know?”
“Oh,” you tried to hide the disappointment in your voice. You didn't want him changing himself for you.
"Don't be offended," she continued. "I think it is just more respect, you know? You two have known each other for a long time. It’s sweet."
"Like Jake doesn't have for you?" you teased.
"Exactly. We're only fucking, we're not in a relationship. If he went soft on me, stopped challenging me, stopped trying to make me better, I'd dump his dumb ass."
“Kinda sounds like a relationship…” you dared as she put the cap back on the wine.
“And for that, I’m taking the wine too,” she huffed. “Bagman and I have ground rules,” she reiterated again.
“Of course, of course,” you nodded, playing along.
“The line won’t be crossed.”
“Who are you trying to convince?”
“And on that note, on a night that I was supposed to savage you, you’ve turned it onto me and now I’m just feeling attacked,” she huffed disappointment, her wine and pizza in her arms and heading towards the door.
“I really like him, Nat,” you said dismally as you both stopped at the door. “I don’t know him anymore and I need to know everything now,” you rambled.
Natasha gave a genuine smile, no more of that shit-eating, ‘I was right’ stuff. No more posturing. “I know. And I’m so happy for you. Because I think you and Rooster will be incredible together. You both deserve this,” she surprised you with a hug. “And if he hurts you, I can actually kill him. Goodnight, fuck safe,” she instructed.
“Jesus Christ,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Go fall a little more in love with Bagman,” you sighed, pushing her gently out of the apartment. “Pretend when you head to his room that the pizza and wine was for you guys the whole time.”
She cackled on the way back to her car. “Fuck him, this pizza and wine are mine!”
“Sure,” you called after her, waiting for her to get back to her car. She waved once and drove away. You closed the door, collecting your thoughts. Okay, so you and Rooster had absolutely no idea where you stood but you practically praised the ground he walked on to Natasha, so she knew. Good. You hated secrets. Not that you tried very hard to keep this one. She broke you incredibly quickly.
Wandering back to the couch, you found your phone and sat down, tucking your legs under you, anxious to respond to Rooster and potentially see him soon.
You: I thought you’d forgotten about me… come over anytime x
“No, you fucking loser,” you deleted the text you were about to send and tried again.
You: I’m home.
Hitting send, you added a quick “xx” to the next text to make it seem less cold than you intended. You groaned. “You are such a fucking idiot.”
Rooster 🐓: What about 8? I’m just getting in. Long day.
You: Anytime xx
two.
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masterlist.
a/n: gotta say, party crew, with engagement way down, I’m unlikely to keep a schedule for this series. thank you to those who comment and reblogged, you’re the true mvp’s. know that I see every one of them, and you absolutely move me x 
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artbyblastweave · 1 month
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It's so funny how Cap just COINCIDENTALLY seems to be physically unable to go through a SINGLE Republican presidency without having a crisis of faith that causes him to not be Cap anymore. Nomad with Nixon. USAgent with Reagan. Death and Buckycap with Bush, then HydraCap with Trump. I like to think him dying was the universe's way of identifying "...well he doesn't seem to be changing yet. Better balance this out real quick"
This is true, and moreover this ask dovetails nicely with another Cappost I've been thinking about making. Given the sliding timeline, who should we assume was in charge of the Secret Empire?
Loose, possibly at-least-partially misremembered background for those who weren't aware of this batshit plot point- In the early seventies, concurrent with Watergate, Captain America shut down a scheme by a neofascist group called the Secret Empire to, I dunno, hold the country hostage with a mutant-powered nuke or something, the specifics aren't important, what's important is that Cap cornered the leader of the group in the Oval Office, where he killed himself to avoid capture, and you never get to see the guy's face but it was all but directly stated that the Leader was Richard Nixon attempting a Coup D'état (possibly to get out of being prosecuted for Watergate?). This shakes Cap up pretty badly and he temporarily retired the Cap identity in order to operate as Nomad, The Man Without A Country, it was a whole crisis of conscience situation. Anyway, the whole situation is still vaguely implicitly canon, they refer to the Secret Empire, and there have been successor heroes who've taken up the Nomad identity after Cap got out of the funk. But It also can't have been Nixon who killed himself in front of Cap due to the sliding time scale- the rule of thumb for Marvel is that it's generally only been about 15-20 years at most since the Fantastic Four did their thing, which does hilarious things to the worldbuilding. My understanding is that you're supposed to assume that if the president is depicted in a marvel story you need to just mentally "swap in whoever would have been president 10-15 years before the present day, but given the specificity of this situation that quickly gets insane. Did Bush kill himself in front of Captain America to escape the consequences of the 2008 recession? Did Obama?! Was it just not a president at all at this point- in which case, why did Cap react badly enough to quit and become Nomad? And so on, and so forth. They basically gotta memory hole it, but I will not let them forget! Cap saw a U.S. President off themselves! But to tie this back to Civilwarposting- what I think about a lot is that from a worldbuilding perspective the actual political moment that generated Civil War is perpetually in flux. This is true of every Marvel comic but it's especially notable here because of the extent to which the comic itself is emphasizing the political moment and what created it. It's a Bush-era comic, a reaction to the politics and the rhetoric of the War on Terror and the post-9/11 years, Bush actually personally appears in it. But if it hasn't already, eventually it's going to have implicitly been pushed through Congress during the Obama Administration, and then during the Trump Admin, and then during the Biden Admin, and so on and so forth, and like. setting aside that there's already an entire swath of the marvel timeline that's very blatantly trump-admin-coded, produced in reaction to that atmosphere, The situations and arguments and rhetoric and battle lines that would have gotten that bill through each of those admins looks very different each time! And I'm not gonna say it's interesting to see how they'll resolve this, because they won't resolve it, they don't need to, they're politely asking everyone to let this one go and that's not the biggest ask these comics make of me, so fine. Whatever. But it's very very funny
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butchthirteen · 4 months
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on a more genuine level i don't think they would've allowed a minor change of such a common word to become part of the timeline--to the point that donna doesn't recognize "gravity" as a word--if they weren't going to really fuck up the timelines/universes in the very near future. especially with all the talk of the edge of the universe and the walls thinning and the flux etc... curious to see if i'm right on this one
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jeskoholic · 10 months
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A Little Piece of You Chapter 14: An Excess of Kwangya
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This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.
Previous chapter: The Mending and the Melancholy
Word count: 4,515
Tags: Male OC, Sister Irene, College Friends, Slight angst
Sorry it took so long for an update. I've been busy.
Enjoy!
---
It was like a scene from a drama. The medical students eavesdropping through their building’s windows probably never saw a scene as intense and emotional like that. It was a common knowledge that breakups were not really rare for people around their age but confrontations similar to that surely were, especially when they were just having their breaks from their normal laboratory rounds. One quick slap was what ended everything as the girl finally ran off and left the guy drenched in the rain, a lopsided umbrella lay on the floor with its purpose utterly defeated. If only the young man did not pick up the umbrella upon realization and went on off ahead, the show would have continued. He would have been the seen through a lot of cameras, being remembered as the man who stood under the rain.
Yoon Jae-in ran as fast as he could away from the scene with the thoughts of the unintended commotion with Soyeon, as well as the consequences that came with it, only brought shame to his already faulty dignity. He was prepared in case something would break out for sure, but on that grave of a circumstance it cannot be helped. The rain was just another insult to the already obvious injury and all he could do was to hang his head low in the hopes that his wet hair could conceal his face from the general public. It was unfortunate that he managed to get out of a huge commotion almost at the same time as the dismissal of the other classes, in turn causing him tread through a large swath of North Line students. Perhaps a sliver of prayer would be the best to give, hoping for none of his friends to see him in that rather unusual predicament.
Fuck, I need to get out of here.
Those were perhaps the very words that served as a mantra for him while he sprinted towards the university’s main gate. With everything that happened, he could not even put his head on the breakup with Soyeon, as his concern that time was primarily to get away from his inevitable shame. He was soaked all over: clothes, hair, shoe… perhaps the only thing that was dry in him was his heart; maybe including a couple of papers that his seemingly water-resistant bag could protect. Yoon Jae-in finally reached the final stretches of stairs, eyeing the outskirts of the university’s front street filled with students heading to and fro. Like how it contributed to his physical challenge, the rain made it so that almost every cab was either occupied or eagerly waited. Even if he dreamed to board one home, it would seem to not be the most plausible option at that very moment.
It was even weirder to think about that most of the students were surprised upon seeing a student soaked with the hard rain from head to foot despite holding a folded umbrella on one hand. Clearly, something really bad happened to this one particular North Liner in that particular afternoon.
Jae-in walked a couple of metres from the front of the university just so that he could lessen the chance of bumping into someone, while still keeping the mystery of how to head home an utmost priority. At that rate, he was already too soaked to walk towards the bus terminal or even the train station, so either way he was really in such a bad luck.
BZZZT
It was so out of nowhere but it came as quick just as lightning flashed once more on the grey skies. It was fast, and yet he was sure that he felt it. Jae-in immediately moved to the left-most side of the roofed street path, steering clear of the incoming flux of students and moved to fish out his phone. Clearly, the first person that might even contact him would naturally be the person who would know about the breakup right away. He had a huge hunch that it would be Ningning, considering he could really see Soyeon contacting her first before everyone else. If that was truly the case, then she’s really quick on messaging him.
How long has it even passed since that slap; ten minutes or about half an hour already?
That is, if it was actually her that messaged him but it would turn out that it was not. In fact, for Jae-in’s situation the sender of the message was perhaps better if not the best person who could send one.
New message from: Noona Prettiest
The rain is strong so I got a shoot cancelled. Do you want me to drop by North Line so I can drive us home together?
---AN HOUR OR SO LATER, BACK AT THE APARTMENT---
Well, this is like a scene from a drama.
“Okay, now that we’re actually home and you’re all dried up,” I heard noona’s voice call from the living room as I exited the bathroom, hanging my soaked clothes as well as changing into new ones. “Can you please tell me how on earth were you so wet with rainwater when I came to your school? You did not forget your umbrella now, did you Jae-in? What would have happened to you had I not decided to fetch you, huh?”
“I’m sorry noona… I hope that I didn’t get the car seats wet. I just… something huge happened and me getting soaked was just one of the after effects of it, I guess. I really apologize… things just have been rough lately… and that is coming from someone who never really let school things a bother…”
Joohyun noona raised an eyebrow, albeit it appeared to be springing from a concerned expression rather than a pissed one.
“Ehh…? Is there something going on?”
“No it’s… I’ve actually sorted things out now, noona. You have no idea how relieved I am despite looking so cold in front of you… it looks bad but I really am happy.”
As I was busy drying my hair with the towel, I felt Joohyun-noona approach me and hold my hand with her ever soft palms. I did not see the entire ordeal as I was really busy so it came as a shock that she actually went off and did exactly just that. I don’t even know why she would do that in the first place.
“Come with me… sit on the couch and let’s talk about it,” her voice turned soft. It sounded really concerned by I got concerned with it. It felt as if it was the calm before the storm of her anger towards me.
Was that even the case?
“You’re not… mad?”
“Sit, Yoon Jae-in,” She commanded rather sternly. Of course, despite being so soft she still had that tone of authority and concern blending carefully well. I have nothing else to do but silently follow after her. Next thing I know, I sat on the couch with a towel over my head and Joohyun-noona disappeared to her room, only to appear seconds later with a blanket on her grasp.
“Here,” she said as she draped the towel over my shoulders and body. I wonder if it was her personal blanket; I assumed that it was because it had that sweet, velvety smell to it. “I know that it should have been a while back, but I had no expectations for you to show up dripping wet like that. Use my blanket. Don’t worry, it’s clean.”
She then proceeded to sit beside me and placed her right hand over my shoulder.
“I’ll be honest; I was a supposed to get angry at you when I saw you board the car. I don’t mind getting the car wet; for me that was the least of my concerns. I was really on the brink of being furious yet your face… your face when you entered the car door was different. It was quite unlike what I saw from you before, so I just resorted to rush home and keep you warm as much as I could.”
“I… I had that different look on me, noona?”
Joohyun-noona nodded.
“Your eyes looked different. You sure look sad but relieved at the same time. I don’t exactly understand why you would have that kind of look with you, but you did. It was weird. Do you mind elaborating about that?”
“Actually… I… I got slapped just now… not that long ago when we saw each other… the real reason why I was soaked when you saw me was anchored with that, noona… I have no idea how else I would have gotten home if it were not for your fetch. I got fortunate that your shoot got cancelled when it did.”
“Wait, wait, wait… did I just hear that right, Jae in?” I saw noona’s expression change. If she was not curious before, she definitely was now. Her eyes displayed nothing but pure inquiry. “Did I hear that right? You got slapped?! How… how on earth would you even get slapped? Did I just hear that wrong or were you really slapped across you face? Who would even do that to you and why would they do that?!”
I shifted a bit on my end of the couch. Things are about to come out to her now.
“Do you… do you remember that time when I was staring at Wonyoung’s letter…?”
“Of course I do… wait, did that girl do this to you!? Was Wonyoung the one who slapped you across your face?!”
“What…? No! Noona… please listen to me first… it’s…. I told you that night that I was keeping it as a reminder… I fished it out of my drawer for that very reason, all before you even asked me to tell the story about my ex-girlfriend. Today… today I felt like I just prevented a possibility of another Wonyoung situation from happening again, noona. Actually… there’s someone that confessed to me that they liked me and…”
The awkwardness of this whole thing never really sank in me until I was about to tell Joohyun-noona of everything that happened. Oh my, now there’s no real way to back out in this impending conversation.
However, on hindsight I really should have told her of the situation. She, of all people, could help me the best.
Maybe not entirely in detail, but… whatever….
“… And earlier today, I have given things a fair bit of thought and decided that… with all the signs from before, the way that this girl acted as well as the things I learned from my ex-girlfriend, Wonyoung… I figured I was not yet ready for the kind of relationship that this particular girl was aiming for. I could easily just have went with the flow and agreed to date her once and for all, but in good conscience I just could not do that. I think no human being deserves to have that.”
“So, you never really liked this girl and you finally said ‘no’ today?” Joohyun-noona asked. “Is that why she slapped you?”
I nodded.
“I figured that it was bound to happen, noona. I just hope that she would understand why I did that in the long run. At least by then, I could say that the pain across my face was worth it.”
“Why are you soaked then?”
“She… she left me under the rain...After the slap, there was a commotion and I just... I just stood there until she went off. I didn’t even realize that I was standing in the rain.”
“Does it still hurt? Can I see that?”
I was about to tell her that it was fine, honestly. Soyeon’s slap was strong to the point that I could still feel the force of her palm just as I arrived home but I could hold it in. However, before I could even protest, my step-sister already moved from her side of the couch towards my direction, placing her soft palms over the left cheek of where I was slapped previously. She brought her face dangerously close as well that I could see every small detail of her beautiful presence right before my very eyes. Her warm breathing was grazing softly against the skin of my chin.
I don’t know, but I immediately panicked on the spot. I never got this close with noona ever.
“N-noona,” I blurted out which clearly startled her. My head immediately formulated the first reasonable question it could produce at that moment. “H-how did you know that… that I got slapped right there?”
“I mean, if she was right handed, this is where her palm would land first.”
She gave my cheek a light tap and admittedly, it stung. Perhaps I was too obvious with that as Irene-noona immediately withdrew from being relatively close to me. Despite that, she still kept her hand planted on my cheek.
“It still hurts then. Let’s get that treated, Jae-in. Also, tell me what you like to eat. Even if it’s something that I can’t cook, we can just get it delivered.”
“No, that’s not necessary now, noona… I could make do of whatever you could cook there, heck I don’t even mind cooking myself; you don’t need to go out of your way and even go online just for me.”
She tapped her hand on my cheek again, inciting another painful reaction from the stinging sensation it gave.
“Yah,” she frowned and I must admit: her eyes felt like they were already talking to me. “At least let me treat you. You already got slapped. Plus, you’ve decided to do the right thing for whoever this girl was… just think of this as a form of me showing my appreciation for your decision, for your maturity… And also, there’s a huge tendency for you to get sick because of what you did so let me treat you with healthy food. That way, your body can combat the natural reactions.  I’m better off feeding you with something than take care of you because you’re sick; you little bean of a Jae-in.”
“I… okay then, noona… I’ll… I’ll let you do that.”
“Okay, it’s decided. I’ll leave you here for a bit and I’d get some stuff from the shops down below. Hopefully there’s something there that I would take a liking to. That way, we can eat right away and not even wait for the delivery to arrive. In the meantime, there’s hot water on the container. If you need something hot to drink, you can get some from there.”
Joohyun-noona stood up and brushed her shirt, but not before moving to give my head with soft series of pats. With how gentle she did it, her soft palms barely felt like it even grazed my crowning glory.
I nodded silently as she finally headed towards her room. That was, to my assumption anyway, to change into something that could combat the cold from the outside. It was no longer raining, thankfully, but that does not mean that the post-rain evening’s coolness was something to scoff at.
As I bade another soft farewell to noona while she exited through the door, I headed towards the kitchen and fished out the electric kettle just as she mentioned. At that moment, there was only a single sentence among a lot of things that solidified my train of thought for the evening:
I was so damn lucky to have a sister such as Bae Joohyun.
 Ever since she invited me to live with her, things have drastically altered my life for the better. I do not know if I could even make the decision I chose back there had I not have her advice on the back of my head. I would have definitely turned into another person for sure.
One more thing; I could easily have been ground meat the moment that she saw me soaked. Her not getting angry, among the plethora of things that seemed to align on this very day… it was just fucking amazing. There are a lot of things that happened today for sure, but this impending dinner with my ever so loving step sister felt like it was indeed a reward for what happened.
I just did it.
Things have not even sunk in me just yet… until now that I was alone with nothing else to think about.
I finally let go of Jeon Soyeon.
I did exactly what I said I would do.
Whatever comes after that; I must be brave to face the consequences. I must be able to uphold this decision as firm and as dedicated as I could.
I bet that at this point in time, something must have already happened within the messaging group. I would be really surprised if there wasn’t.
Worse case was… maybe Soyeon would have gone drinking with some other friend group of hers once again. If that was the case, then I don’t think that was still on me. That would already be on her. I did what I came for and that was to end everything once and for all. It had to be done for the greater good.
I have a feeling that this would not be the final interaction between Soyeon and me. I’m sure in the future; we’ll be able to talk again as friends. I could only hope so much, however.
The thought of the group’s reaction intrigued me beyond comprehension and I can’t keep everything to myself. With that in mind, I moved to fish out the phone placed on top of the oven toaster previously. I had a feeling that I would head to the kitchen after the shower and so I placed it there beforehand, fetching it before I went back to the dining table to enjoy the hot chocolate I made.
I connected my phone into the internet and pushed the icon of the messaging group, and that one push was all that I needed before my entire notification bar was flooded with messages from…
‘United Kwangya’…?
What even is that?
And then it hit me: it was a messaging group. In fact, it was the very same messaging group from before; the one that I had with Kyungsoo and the others, just under a different name… only now that everything was wrought in chaos. I don’t know who or what was the reason why they changed the name, but I trust that it was another product of the chaos that was happening. It might be an aftermath, it might not be, but it’s nothing short of confusing for sure.
What is going on?
---
Yoon Jae-in took a good sip from his prepared hot chocolate drink and proceeded to open the said conversation. The thought of the chaos being tied to him and Soyeon was already there and perhaps he, too, wanted a confirmation. However, his inner curiosity with regards to the previously unnamed group’s new peculiar group chat name weighed heavier, especially the perpetrator. He opened the group and almost everyone else was typing at the same exact time. Their portraits with multiple ellipses showed as he scrolled down to the most recent messages.
Kyungsoo: Hey, who the hell did that? Please just leave her be. I think there’s something going on so let’s just not barge in if Soyeon’s not interested to be added back. Stop being jack-asses.
Shinwon: Oh, something happened for sure otherwise she would not leave without even a message. I’m sure she’s told someone already, or we could just wait for Jae-in to go online and ask him.
I’m pretty sure Shinwon connected the dots already, Jae-in thought to himself. It’s not that long ago when we talked about her after all. It would take time before he would realize, though.
Kino: They could have had an argument or something. That’s just normal; it’s not like it’s something new. Let’s just shut up. It’ll pass. Who knows; maybe they’re even smashing RN and do not want to be disturbed. People do that to make up to each other right?
Kyungsoo: Hey, watch your mouth @Kino. We have other people here. Please don’t give them the wrong idea about us.
Yeri: I’m sorry. I think Soyeon left because I just got added: (. Maybe she got uncomfy that I got added here.
Kyungsoo: @Yeri, don’t worry about that. I’m sure it has nothing to do with you.
Wait, since when was Yeri added to the chat?
Jae-in, with curiosity already getting the better of him, moved to scroll past the arguing bunch and actually give context to what was going on. It was evident from the talk that Soyeon has left the group, somehow Yeri got added into the mix and then the group chat’s name got changed. His scrolling fortunately yielded answers to his queries, and things seemed to have become worse the more that he continued to read on upwards.
About an hour after the pair of them argued, the first thing that notified the group was Soyeon leaving without any response or message whatsoever. He also saw that Hongseok and Kino repeatedly attempted to add her back towards the group only for her to do the same thing of leaving without a message. It was quite obvious; she did not want to be in the same chat with Yoon Jae-in.
Then of course, Jae-in moved to open her private messages to him via the chat tab, hoping to confirm what he already had in his mind.
This person is unavailable.
Of course, it was quite the expected reaction. At that rate, had Soyeon not block him right away it would have been more surprising. That kind of development never really surprised Jae-in by any means. There was a part of him that was appreciative of the absence of message; surely, it was quite expected for her to throw in some words before blocking him for good. It was perhaps for the better that she did that.
Jae-in minimized the header for Soyeon’s portrait and moved to scan the unopened messages. Aside from the chaos of the group chat, United Kwangya, Doh Kyungsoo had a good amount of private messages directed to him. The first one that was on the face of it; the one message that Jae-in need not to even open to know what he said contained the following:
Kyungsoo: I don’t want to interfere but things are getting out of hand. Soyeon’s not replying to me, or to other members for that matter. Maybe you and her just…
The rest of the message was cut. Jae-in wanted to open the chat and message Kyungsoo in explanation of everything. He was, after all, the person who introduced Soyeon to him so if there was anyone who deserved an explanation first-hand, it would be him. However, just the tone of that heading chat already intimidated him. He somehow heard the voice of a very disappointed Kyungsoo messaging him that he could not bring himself to open the messages and reply to what followed.
Surprisingly, it was not Kyungsoo’s tab that was on the very top. Ning Yi Zhuo’s portrait flashed, signalling a recent message that she brought to him privately. Despite the initial decision to draw the attention away from the chaos, Jae-in moved and opened her chat tab hoping to converse with her.
Ningning: Jae-in, I know what happened with you and Soyeon and I’m sorry if it was not your intention to let me know.
Ningning: Soyeon came knocking at the front door of my dorm, all wet from the rain and asking if she could stay for a while. She unintentionally blurted out everything while she was changing clothes, so here we are. I decided to take her in because it’s too stupid to bring her out in the rain at this time.
Ningning: Please don’t think that I’m messaging you to guilt-trip you or anything. Soyeon might be my friend, but you are as well. I don’t think that I’m on the position to tell you what my side of the equation is without placing more fuel to the already bad looking fire. I just wanted you to know where she is because I figured you’re worried.
Ningning: She told me repeatedly that she would block you the first chance she gets. If you can’t message her now, it means that she already did it. Don’t worry; I’ll take care of her while she’s still on a huge emotional mess. That’s all I can assure you of her for now.
Ningning: Please, I don’t want to talk to the others because they might ask her of me. Can you be the one to tell them to not add her back for the time-being? Doing that would not help her to any degree while the wound is still fresh.
Jae-in’s heart leapt out of his chest the moment that he read Ningning’s soft message. A huge thorn just got shot out of his chest knowing Soyeon was safe with Ningning and not on some bar whatsoever. For now, he could relax and lull in his mind while the situation cools itself down.
Grateful, he moved to open the replier and provide a simple appreciation message for Ningning’s actions.
Jae-in: Hey, you have no idea how relieved I am to know that she’s with you. Take care of her while she’s there, okay? Thank you so much, Ning. You’re such a huge help.
Surprisingly, she replied almost immediately after she saw the message.
Ningning: We’re cool. Give her space for a bit and maybe you two can talk in the future. Take care, Yoon Jae-in.
Whether he would want to reply more to that or not was already behind him. The thought of Soyeon being in a safe place was already a reward in itself for Yoon Jae-in; he was so relaxed that he opened the chat tab subconsciously, with the conversation wildly being tossed around by Hongseok, Kino, and Kyungsoo. Everything was so out of context but he did not care; savouring on the recent topic of Kino’s screen being cracked after the hand phone slipped off from his grasp.
A soft squeak of the apartment door finally signalled his step-sister’s return. Joohyun showed up holding two paper bags that stood high up towards her shoulders, giving a wide smile towards Jae-in as she finally entered the apartment after closing the door behind her.
“Wait, let me help you there noona,” Jae-in said as he enthusiastically left the phone and went towards Joohyun’s direction.
And just like that, Jae-in left the messaging group generating disorder within its own members; and as Jae-in helped Irene set the respective food on the table, ‘United Kwangya’ repeatedly teased Kino for sending a screenshot. He figured that it was a good proof of showing everyone else in the chat that his phone’s screen really cracked, and he was not even able to realize what was wrong with that until Jae-in eventually fished his phone back in preparation for the upcoming dinner.
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