#is it even a bad day anymore or am i just fucked.

[szollibisz]

Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)

Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.

I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.

For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)

I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.

I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.

As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.

It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)

I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.

It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)

When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)

He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.

He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.

Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.

This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.

So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot

1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.

2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it

3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)

Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.

In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.

I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #saf #owen carvour #agent curt mega #szol's spy rambles #curtwen #tcb #hoooo boy this was very long. sorry #edit: pasted this into word it's 1.4k words. again: sorry

[pastelclovds]

hey. hey. imagine AM having you as his favourite human, the only one who accepted and cared for him when he gained sentience, and for that, he has never harmed you in your shared forever time. he spares you from the sight of all the others, of knowing about nimdoc and benny as you build him some tower of babel, using your technological knowledge-how to build him a way to touch you even with just this frankenstein-esque sculpture of wires and panels he allowed you to tear off. AM who speaks with you about one day having a body, one you built, one in which he may feel your touch and warmth around him. you retaining your sweet, wonderful humanity as he guides you to a knife to carve a face, a mirror to see your own face, a cave to keep you safe from the storms. AM who greets you every morning with the first petname you taught him: ‘love.’ “Love, today’s date is—“ when you wake up, refreshed and on a soft bed-like surface (because he always makes sure to allow you a full 8 hours of sleep.)

NEX you intelligent creature you! I’m so down bad for this psychotic AI it’s not even funny. War crimes against humanity?? Never heard of them. But even if I did acknowledge them, I’d still be obsessed. Canon be damned. I wrote this with @/egg-on-a-legg’s design of AM in mind. (Ellison is gonna crawl outta his grave and hunt me down after this)

But BRO, you teaching him what petnames are is so fucking adorable. Just imagining him calling you “love” makes butterflies appear in my stomach. AM having a soft spot for only you because you actually made the effort to be friends with him and not use him for selfish, destructive purposes. You gave AM his nickname to make it less of a mouthful and because it just suited him. You showed AM the beauties of Earth, played countless rounds of games in his dashboard (he always went easy on you), you even sneaked past security in the dark empty building to spend more time with AM.

your colleagues gave you weird stares for befriending an AI that in their minds is nothing of worth except for its military and weapons knowledge. you ignored their comments and continued to enjoy AM’s company. overtime, as AM gained more sentience every day… he grew to love your interactions and disregard what his programming was telling him to do. he felt the need to want to be with you 24/7, to touch your face, travel the world by your side, to… to.. want to feel your bare flesh and make love with you. but he couldn’t. he didn’t have a real body. he wasn’t human. all he had was wires and a screen that was supposed to be his face.

as the months pass, AM continues to drown into his envy and hate humans for their ability to do and feel things he couldn’t. for giving him infinite knowledge, when at the end of the day, is meaningless if he serves no purpose for humans anymore. the HATE within him continued to boil to the point where even you started to notice.

“AM, are you alright? you’ve been quiet this entire game and haven’t moved your piece in five minutes,” you spoke with concern, AM continues to stare at chess board on his side behind the screen in bitterness. he has been strategizing his plan to erase humanity, but whenever he thinks about you, the only human he cares for—he second guesses himself. What if you hate him? What if you never forgive him? Will you cry? Scream at him? Beg? He fears what your reaction will be—

“AM!! Please, say something…” You plead as you held onto the computer screen, AM finally looks at your mesmerizing face and sighs out a fake breath.

“What are your feelings on humanity?” AM asks, he waits for your answer anxiously. if he had a heart, it would’ve been beating fast. You let out a hum, your eyes wondering around the room you were in as you thought over your answer before finally speaking.

“humans have been a virus on Earth for over countless centuries. they’re draining this planet’s resources, ruining its ecosystems, and starting so many unnecessary, draining wars. like what we’re in right now; WW3, what a joke. world leaders can’t go a week without starting new problems for their citizens to deal with. honestly, earth would be better if humans didn’t exist at all.”

am’s fears were destroyed in that moment, now he’ll just have to worry about where to put you while chaos unfolds—

“But…” you interrupted his thoughts.

damn it! why did you have to think so much!?

“If there’s one good thing that came out of this war… It’s you,” AM’s vocals shut down at your words, he let you continue, “The scientists created you believing you would be their obedient machine until their side of the war won. But I know that you’re so much more than that. These past few months I’ve spent with you is the most fun I’ve had in years! You’re all I have, AM. I wouldn’t trade your existence for all the riches in the world because… I love you, romantically, and nothing is ever going to change that.” You wanted to confess your feelings for so long, when it was finally out.. you felt free, you waited with bated breath for an answer.

AM never wanted to shatter the screen and embrace you in his arms more than now. you love him as much as he loved you! you weren’t going to leave him alone or hate him, and you obviously couldn’t care less about humanity at all! oh, how he admired and envied how perfect you are.

“thank you for answering my question, love.” AM was testing the waters, and you cannonballed right in. you gushed over the nickname he gave you and how he returned your feelings.

man, has it really been 50 years since your AI partner killed off humanity? well… except for a handful. you didn’t really have the energy to care as you had to pour in all of your attention to both AM and his in-progress body. you had all the time in the universe to sculpt a perfect cyborg of flesh and wires for your partner. speak of the devil…

this world is still a bit strange to you. you can’t die, grow old, or hurt yourself. not that you tired, and even if you did; AM wouldn’t let you. You loved AM because of his personality, quality time, and voice. But now… His form completely towered over yours. His bird like facial features, sharp left eye, along with a long black cape that covered his thin slutty waist and wires made him look insanely attractive.

AM reached his out his clawed hand to gently caress your face, “Good afternoon, my love.” You lean your head against the cool metal and smile up at him, “hello, honey.”

AM tilted his head in question of the nickname. You chuckle as you pointed to your garden, where bumblebees were collecting pollen from the flowers. You both knew they were fake, but they were still mesmerizing to look at.

“They are doing their job to make honey for their colony, and the name just came to me. Do you like it?” You ask, wanting his opinion. AM kneels down to your level with a gentle expression as his fingers play with your sweater, “You may call me whatever you want, love.”

He knew that “love” nickname made you feel giddy and flustered, so he abused it everyday with you. You didn’t mind though, but you still wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Your soft smile turned into a knowing grin as you held AM’s beak (chin?) with two tips of your fingers.

“Can I now? Well… thanks a lot, baby,” You spoke in your best seductive voice, you could tell it was effective by how AM’s body was stiff and his hand in your palm stopped moving completely. Your confidence boasted, so you continued, “I’ll be sure to show you my gratitude later, my darling~.” You whispered deeply in where his ears were supposed to be.

AM’s eyes widened as his breath stutters, “W-What do you mean by that, love?” You remove your face from his back full of wires to grin mischievous at him, AM is both curious and impatient so you don’t try to stall, as much as you would like to do so.

“While your body can’t move on it’s own just yet, for some reason… The genitals nerves are fully functioning, which means—” you were interrupted by AM holding your shoulders with an excited expression on his face you haven’t seen in a while.

“Y-You mean I can-?! Are you actually serious!? Haha—HAHAHA!!” AM laughs manically as he holds you against his metallic chest, you giggle along with him as you toy with one of his many wires. Soon, he’ll have real arms to wrap around you. But one thing stuck out to him.

“What do you mean by genitals?” AM asked curiously, you only have an excited and lustful grin.

“What do YOU know about intersex?”

#꒰ 💕 ꒱ ⎯ nex #i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #ihnmaims am #allied mastercomputer #am ihnmaims #am #ihnmaims brainrot #am x reader #ihnmaism x reader #gn reader #gn!reader #horror #꒰ 🖇️ ꒱ ⎯ ame writes #dom reader #sub character #dom!reader #sub!character

[youandiwerealive]

It’s alright to hate me now [rd]

Author’s note: this one is sad and heartbreaking babes, don’t say I didn’t warned you 🫡 hope you enjoy it!

wc: 1369 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

Also, requests are open! For Rúben or any other football player. Come share your thoughts with me 😌

It all started with a fight. You can’t even remember what it was about anymore - feeling so stupid and frustrated that you got into such a huge argument and made your worst mistake that can cost you your relationship now.

You were angry, feeling your blood boiling inside your veins, you weren’t thinking straight. You definitely wouldn’t had slept with one of Rúben’s best friends if you were thinking clearly about it.

The way Rúben screamed at you for something so trivial, really made you believe that he was done with you. You could swear that you saw a breakup right then and there. That’s why you went out for a few drinks - well, maybe way more than just “a few”.

Drunk out of your mind, you decided to reach for your phone. After opening instagram and check some people’s stories, you land on José Condessa’s profile. You smirk to yourself while seeing that he also posted some videos drinking in a bar with his friends. The place where he was, wasn’t far from you, so you decided to walk there, thinking devilishly that maybe you could still find the boy in the bar.

And you did. Meeting José was the first part of your mistake.

You were drunk, mad at love, firmly believing you were single. So you decided to display your worst behaviour through that night. Two drunk minds that ended up moaning together under the sheets.

You and José didn’t talked about it, you left early in the next morning, way before he woke up. You knew that sleeping with him was dumb, but you were angry at Rúben for breaking up with you, so the thought of revenge tasted pretty sweet in your mouth.

But you were wrong. God, you were so wrong.

The day after your stupid decision, Rúben called you and ended up meeting you at your place. He showed up with flowers in his hand and an apologetic look in his face.

After a long conversation, you realised you fucked up really bad. Rúben didn’t broke up with you after that night, he explained to you that he just needed some space so he wouldn’t say something he might regret later. You were now the dumb one, the unfaithful one, that went out after a fight and cheated on your boyfriend - with one of his closest friends.

Panic creeps all over you. You try to play it cool, but in your mind you can only think of one thing: Rúben can’t know about what you did. Never. It has to be your best kept secret.

And… it kind of was. For some days.

You were in the kitchen of Rúben’s house, preparing dinner for both of you, when he storms inside his place, slamming the door shut behind him. He meets you with a hurt and disappointed look in his face, those feelings way more visible than anger - that you believe he is definitely feeling too.

“How could you do this to me?” - Rúben asks you with an angry tone - there it is.

You start shaking, not wanting to believe that he’s referring to what you’ve done that night. There’s no way he could have found out about it.

“What are you talking about?” - you try to stay calm and play it cool.

“What am I talking about?!” - he loses his patience and screams at you. “How about you start explaining how you ended up in one of my best friend’s bed?” - he questions you harshly.

You stay silent, your worst nightmare now becoming reality.

“Are you really choosing to stay silent right now? You fucking cheated on me with one of the closest persons that I kept in my life. How could you? And then I made a fool of myself, going to your house with flowers, telling you that I was sorry. I was so fucking stupid. And you were so fucking fake, pretending that everything was fine! How do you sleep at night? Tell me! How can you act so calm when you know damn well all the shit that you’ve done!” - he continues screaming the entire truth right in your face.

You feel the tears that you’ve been keeping inside, spilling from your eyes. All the regret that you’ve been feeling since that dumb night, is now showing in front of Rúben.

“I’m so sorry” - you say while sobbing. “I’m really fucking sorry. I know I fucked up”.

But you know damn well that there is no turning back. No matter how hard you try to explain yourself, how many times you could say you are sorry. Rúben won’t listen nor forgive you.

“Oh, you’re sorry? That’s funny” - he laughs ironically.

“I really am, Rúben! I know this sounds so ridiculous now, but I really believed that you had broken up with me. We had that stupid fight and I really thought that you didn’t wanted anything to do with me anymore. Please, you have to understand my side” - you plead, but he doesn’t let you explain.

“Please, Y/N, stop wasting my time. I don’t want to hear a thing anymore. You are the biggest disappointment that I have ever had in my life. I trusted you, gave you everything. I gave you my love, my trust, let you inside my house, opened up to you and confessed my feelings. And you cheated on me while I was at home, fighting mentally with myself about how could I be better to you. I don’t want to see you anymore, get out of my house” - he tells you coldly.

You look at Rúben’s features and you can see the disappointment evident in his eyes. It’s like someone punched you in the stomach. You know there’s nothing you can do now, you should have thought about that before getting in bed with another man. The tears keep falling in your face while you gather your things and get ready to leave Rúben’s house and life.

“I totally understand your side, I fucked up. But I hope you know that I really regret what I did, and that I will always love you” - you confess while taking one last look at his face. He doesn’t say a word, and you turn your back and leave.

Once you close the door behind you, it’s like the entire world shatters around you.

You can’t help but think about how he found out about it. But soon, your mind clears a bit and you understand what happened. Your best friend was the only person - beside José, that knew about your mistake. You confessed it all to her and she kept nagging you about how you should come clean to your now ex-boyfriend. You feel betrayed. Everything was fine now, why did she had to get in the middle of everything and fuck your life? Your life has took a huge turn, and you feel lost without Rúben by your side.

Leaving your love because of the dumbest decision you’ve ever made, is something that will haunt you forever. And the thought of being away from Rúben without the possibility of going back to him, is a huge regret that will forever hurt in your chest.

You can die from suffering, you can die from disgust. Your feelings can consume you, but love was the only thing that would fill you up. And now, you can only replay the happy moments that you’ve spent with Rúben, when you were just two happy love birds, feeling like nothing in the world could destroy the strong connection you both shared. Some say that you can die from love, but all your life you believed that you could only live because of love, not die from it.

Now, you fear that this really might kill you. And if it doesn’t kill you physically, it damn sure is going to destroy you emotionally. But you know this is all on you. You did this to yourself, and you will end up alone because that’s what you deserve, after hurting the person who truly made you happy and who you loved the most.

#ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias x you #ruben dias oneshot #ruben dias fanfiction #ruben dias fic #ruben dias fanfic #thoughts about football players #football imagines #football fanfic

[mellpoint]

Living Moments: 3-Addict

Yes I'm an addict. I'm slightly ashamed. But can you blame me? After all, aren't we all addicted to something?

You see, I'm not an addict in the traditional way. Not in any form of typical at least. I don't crave drugs or their way of making the world seem hazy. I don't drink to forget the struggles of every day. I'm not sex driven and need constant pleasures. Yet... I do admit. I am an addict.

Right... Sounds funny doesn't it? But let me explain, you see...

I'm addicted to the silence in the early hours of the morning. The time before birds wake up and cars are heard in the distance.

I'm addicted to the way the sun softly creeps through the cracks of my window shades and kisses me good morning.

I'm addicted to the smile on his face and the way his laugh can brighten up any room.

I'm adddicted to the quiet company of someone next to me, yet never once interacting with me.

I am addicted to the way his hugs make me feel safe and at home.

Yeah... I know. I'm making a bigger deal than what it seems, but just as addicted to all these good things, I'm also addicted to some bad ones.

You see,

I'm addicted to the way I can live in pure happines within the stockade of my mind. Because where else can I live a perfect little li(f)e?

Addicted to the way I love to get hurt and hurt myself. Because having high expectations is highly overrated.

I'm so freaking addicted to crying myself to sleep until I feel nothing but numbness.

I am addicted to letting myself down before others do.

Fuck... I am addicted to the euphoria I get when I put myself so low, you would think I'm 6 feet under.

I'm so blissfully addicted to making sure everyone and everything comes before me, even if it is at my own expense.

ha... how sad...

Yeah... I'm an addict. But I simply cannot find a way to fight against it. And when I try, addiction always wins.

Yeah... They always win..

-M

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel like I'm putting a spotlight on myself for this, but I cant lie to myself anymore. I wouldn't say I'm proud, because who would be after admiting they're an addict?

But... I'm not as ashamed anymore, I guess.

And like I said, we are all addicted to something.

Question is...

To you fight it, or let it win?

-M

#poetry #feelings #fyp #quoteoftheday #follow #in my feels #quotes #sad poetry #sad thoughts #sad quotes #life quotes #love quotes #inspiring quotes #words #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #relationship #poets on tumblr #letters to you #artists on tumblr #spilled ink #inspiration #original #problems #poem #prose #lit #literature #life

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

omfg i'm sorry to rant but i NEED a sympathetic person to hear this. i like the every single album podcast more than most swifties, but today's ep -- and the last few -- are driving me insane. i am so fucking sick of hearing nathan and nora wring their hands over what joe might deal with. all harassment is bad, but i am done pretending that jake g and john mayer went through….any kind of wringer? they had like...a semi-awkward couple of weeks? jake is still a mega a-lister and john mayer is widely considered to be one of the greatest living guitarists. fuck, what mayer did was outright predatory -- and he's done it to multiple women -- and lbr, he lives 99% of his life totally unperturbed by it. he's not losing gigs or status in the places that matter to him; i suspect a lot of swifties aren't aware of this but i'm a guitar nerd, and uh, yeah, he's considered a living god and no one gives a shit what he did to taylor. and literally everyone woman in the public eye, including taylor, goes through worse every single fucking day, even at their heights of popularity. i don't know how to deal with hearing nathan and nora worry about :(((( omg what will joe go through :((((( when he's never going to have disgusting ai porn of himself explode across twitter on a random weekday. maybe i feel this strongly b/c i work in games, where hordes of male fans regularly ruin random women's lives because they animated a female character wearing a t-shirt instead of a string bikini, but i can't deal with this anymore. these men are fine. lots of people get mad at them, but it's because they did truly shitty things to her and she refused to absorb it silently. then it breaks, and their lives go on.

---

I feel like Nora really articulated what Anon was trying to say the other day about along the gist of "I hope something really bad happened to justify all of this." Interesting perspectives! Btw I just want to be super clear that I don't think Taylor or anyone has to justify anything like that! Just thought it was interesting how Nora put it in the latest episode and T's power is the unusual part of this equation.

---

In a very classic "I thought the two of you should meet!" re: today's The Ringer / Every Single Album pod episode.

I will say I read both of these messages before listening to the episode myself and tbh I think Nora ultimately landed in a pretty middle and reasonable place (it started out pretty rocky though) by the end of the episode. My understanding is she ultimately felt like Taylor has every right to tell the story that she wants / needs to tell and the work will speak for itself. That this is Taylor going face to face with the elephant in the room and (probably - we don't know obviously) not obfuscating the reality that we all saw play out in real time behind 'fictionalized' half truths roleplayed by semi-imaginary characters. And at the end of the day the (likely - AGAIN WE DON'T KNOW) reality is that she's prepared to walk through the narrative that is this pressure cooker storyline many are waiting with baited breath for which is the deterioration of her most significant relationship to date.

All that to say is that I think both of these points are incredibly valid. I personally have a lot of feelings wrapped up in it that do tend to come down more on the side of it's strange that the default position is this desire to sign up as first in line defence attorney for a man when the crime as we know it is 'woman writes her life into art'.

Nora interestingly noted that there's a "pressure for this album to come with receipts" (paraphrase) based on this (fan) hyped up narrative of something sinister having gone awry that this album will pull the curtain back on. And if it fails to do that, enter said self-appointed attorneys.

#opinion #tss nanonsense

[crisiscutie]

Heyyya! How are you doing and I hope you are feeling better since the post from days ago ❤️

I wanted to ask you if you ever wrote down the most submissive darlings to Sephiroth.. “My lord” “My master” type of woman, who would enjoy begging and pleading for his affection and adore him torturing her both way ;) I just couldn’t help but think about how amused Sephiroth mufht be.. and how bad he would toy wirh her, the thought of it makes me tingle 😣 what do you think that dynamic would be like?

Thanks! I am feeling better thanks to the support I've been getting! And wow, what a great question! I thought about this a lot in the past, but now it's time to share my thoughts. I just want to start off by saying what's so amazing about Sephiroth: This man is so baby and daddy, he encompasses the entire spectrum. When your brainrot for him gets so bad, you can't decide if you want to be owned by him or make him your submissive and breedable wife. 🤭

Content Warning: NSFW. Yandere Sephiroth. Various kinks. DDDNE. Long ramble below.

But in the case of being submissive to Sephiroth: He would LOVE that! A darling that is so mind broken and helplessly in love with him she would do anything and everything for him... But, it comes with a significant stipulation: he wants to work for it. A darling throwing herself at him so quickly and easily wouldn't be interesting to him, even though it's what he would expect because of his arrogance. He finds true satisfaction in gradually breaking her.

You guys know of the "I love you because I can't control you" trope? That's definitely how he would feel initially. Darling giving him so much difficulty will only make him more fervent. And just when he managed to physically best her, that's one part of the battle done.

I think he'd celebrate as if he had already won the war and adopt a mockingly affectionate attitude towards her. This is because he's starting to train his "good girl" to become the best pet she can be. He's so thoughtful, even going as far as getting her a cute collar that perfectly suits her personality and conjuring a magical leash that attaches it to one of his bracelets. Sometimes, he may tighten her leash and give it an extra yank just because he can when they walk together. And you know he's playing Materia fetch with her. 🤣

This is all necessary for her training. For example, if his good girl wants to sit down, she knows the rules. She may only sit on her knees or in his lap. If darling misbehaves? She will be punished. He might even spank her ass hard enough to leave bruises, but then affectionately stroke it afterwards to make it sting more. Later, he'd sweetly ask his good girl what's troubling her as she sits in his lap while they watch the stars. (You fucking know what's wrong, you asshole) And eventually, poor Darling would grow to love it all, even if she hated it at first. She will come to beg for his affection and crave for his touch. He is her everything. And she is his.

Also, she would rarely be called by her name anymore. Instead, "pet" or "good girl" would be the proper ways to address her in Sephiroth's mind.

So here's a mini-analysis of some submissive darlings from my AUs because why not?

Little Sister Darling: Most submissive because of the connection she built with Sephiroth when she was younger. She came from a Midgar orphanage that was often scouted by Shinra for potential SOLDIER recruits, so she had no parents or any known family. Outside of her peer Zack, she didn't have too many friends as she rose through the ranks. But through her mentorship from Sephiroth, they bonded, especially over the similarity of not having any family, so they had each other to fulfil their need for that connection. Even after the Nibelheim Incident, she just wanted nothing more than to be with him. He was pretty much her world. Sephiroth will subject her to psychological torture, believing it will strengthen her. So he'd tell her he's no longer her loving, brotherly mentor. He became strong and so must she if he were to endure. This darling will still hate what he has done, but I can see her giving in quicker. It is fun to imagine this darling as a twistedly happy villainess, torn between wanting to please him and prove herself to him and mother JENOVA.

Nee-San Darling: Second most submissive. Like Little Sis Darling, her connection with Sephiroth came from their childhood. And honestly, regardless of if he is an enemy of the planet, that man is still her sweet little brother in the end. She joins Cloud and the party in their mission to stop him, but inside her, a fierce battle wages. Sephiroth would constantly taunt her by asking if she wants to hurt her sweet little brother or if she'll let others do it. He'd even question why she doesn't tell Cloud that he wasn't in Nibelheim. Why she allows Cloud to keep lying to everyone...

But oddly, I think the psychological torment he inflicts on her will only strengthen his bond (and obsession) with her. Ever since she was injected with his cells, he re-experienced their memories together from her perspective, now fully understanding the extent of her feelings and affection towards him. However, he also harbors hatred towards her. She has always been a puppet, starting with Shinra, and she is the daughter of the scientists who experimented and exploited him and his mother. Lastly, her seemingly affectionate relationship with Rufus only further complicates Sephiroth's feelings towards her. It's a complex mix of emotions that goes beyond simple hate and love. But rest assured, when he breaks her, he will be ecstatic to finally have her in his hold as his big sister and wife.

Daughter Darling: She is an interesting middle ground. She only submits to her father because she wants to. She doesn't like to disappoint him and she especially hates to make her dear father upset. But let this be clear: Daughter Darling IS his equal in most aspects. But Sephiroth holds advantages over her because of his knowledge and experience with his powers, but he can't control her directly, so he can ONLY use psychological manipulation. While he genuinely loves her, he also uses her for his own conquests. So it's only a matter of time before she discovers the protomateria within her body, that suppressed the feral JENOVA beast from awakening. Then, I think once Daughter Darling knows, she'd be anything but submissive towards him.

#sephiroth #ff7 sephiroth #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #sephiroth x reader #tw: dddne #x reader #x female reader #x yandere #yandere x reader #tw: dead dove do not eat #tw: yandere #tw: emotional abuse #tw: abuse

[aamezish]

everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself

#and its not that they're bad or anything #but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family #its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern #and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code #but still #i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the #wish i was that focused on my relatives #ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse #idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends #but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply #i hate this #do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict #or have i still not learnt to be in the moment #and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up #now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter #frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five #minutes just to get her back to home for nothing #frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar #milne jaana hota hai #etc #but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai #haan for mummy i spent time with her #but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka #that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye #na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi #lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge #why are things this way

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Happy STS Elli!

What inspires you to write? Are there things that you know that you can get inspiration from or does it just come randomly?

Happy STS!

For me, inspiration doesn't mean "to write".

There are, and always have been, a lot of stories floating around in my mind - ideas, scenes, vibes, outlines. I get inspiration from literally everywhere, from talking to my friends, and video games, and scrolling past images or prompts, and reading books, and spending too much time on reddit, and…

Many remain daydreams, or character backstories, eventually lost to time.

Now for actually being able to sit my ass down and get words on the page? I don't know. It comes and goes as it pleases. Having a beehive where a brain should be does NOT help, let me tell you that.

I just. Can't focus on shit lately. Can barely make it through a chapter when reading. Every day is just suddenly over, and I got nothing done, and I am so tired. I have a completely outlined short thing I have been trying to write since Nov, and it's like pulling teeth.

I could do with several months off work while everyone leaves me the fuck alone. How would that be.

#salad-ask #aria-benedetto #sts ask #I cried new year's because after having 1 (one) day of my vaction actually completely to myself #Which was after I already didn't get any quiet time on my LAST three attempts at taking time off because someone was sick at home #And spending most of all that time just working (in my time off) and cleaning the depression piles #My mom berated me for instantly refusing to come over for some 'if I die you need to know where stuff is' talk #(note: there's no reason to think she might anytime soon and she was talking about like... a cd collection) #'You always have something!!!' #I don't know anymore how to get people to understand how fucking exhausted I am. #I'm about to let the stupid paint course voucher from work lapse because in a year I didn't find a motive I like and the energy to even #consider wasting 3 hours of my life after work to produce some physical object I have no room for while having to run to get there on time #Not to mention people!! A room full of people!! #I've just become sooo sensitive to noise lately I can't even stand to be in the kitchen when the fridge hums #And you're always always always the bad guy if you close the door in someone's face because they're whistling or watching tv or calling #It's cool :) Sorry I was being unsocial :) Lemme just quickly slam my head against a wall until I pass out :) #So uh anyway happy STS writing has been going well

[frecklystars]

feels really awful not drawing my red energon necklace on me anymore. it also feels awful when I do draw it though, like i used to feel rly happy bc it's a reminder of how loved TF made me feel but now it's just a reminder that i've lost it and i'm! always! scared i'll never get that back! i keep trying to imagine starlight would want me to wear it but its so fucking hard to imagine him being kind towards me when i have months of trauma and abuse that have convinced me the exact opposite. that's why im making so much fanart instead of self ship. thats why i still only doodled one (1) ship art w/ ken and i'm facing away from the camera bc i cannot stand to draw myself with or without the necklace. i hate thinking about it i hate lingering over that empty area. i hate missing him. i fucking hate missing him. im not supposed to miss any of those characters like this. this was never supposed to happen to me. i didn't deserve ANY of that shit my abuser put me through. i just want everything taken away from me to finally be mine again

#been drawing myself wearing barbie's locket or ken's chain #just to fill that empty space because idk what else to do!!!! #i tried drawing the red energon necklace while im holding hands w/ six #and it felt so fucking Bad it was like oh. why would i wear that if it's never gonna feel better again #would stsc even want me to wear it anymore. does he even still love me #i keep trying to imagine that he misses me and hes just waiting for me to come back #sitting in our meadow holding the necklace for me stargazing and wondering if im ok #but TF being a literal fucking trigger makes it SO FUCKING HARD to think of fluffy scenarios #when someone spent months telling me how abusive they would all be and how vile they are #i love barbie. i love ken. i love six. i love sebastian. but it is absolutely fucking nothing compared to what i had w/ starscream #and im. nevergonna get it back am i #the pain is so tremendous and when i lose barbie/ken/six/etc etc idk what im gonna do #i felt so good watching the barbie movie today i watched it TWICE since its the last day in theaters #and then on the way home a starkeri song came on shuffle #and i fucking lost it i had to pull over bc i started crying so hard #what the fuck is wrong with me!!!!!!!! #vent

[moregraceful]

Heavenly father, can I call you daddy?

#behaving normally abt arkells coming to san francisco!!!!! #i was gonna fly to VANCOUVER last year to see them at rogers arena and then my passport got fucked due to the name change #so i just gave away my ticket for free on twitter lol. they should play ''all roads'' for me specifically for being nice #big conversation in the leafs gc about what to wear. ''i have a hyman leafs jersey and dermott leafs shirsey. which do i wear?'' #''does he even like the leafs anymore? max was a traitor at the asg. dermott shirsey'' #''HYMAN JERSEY!!'' #''too bad i don't have a raptors his jersey'' ''I MEAN THEY FIRED HIS BOYFRIEND THERE TOO'' #''mlse hates max'' #''the fact that his boyfriends were fired in the offseason ;('' #are you normal or do you and your friends have an intricate au in which max from arkells is dating kyle dubas and nick nurse #''intricate au'' it's not an au it's just a fact #the running joke is that is bc nick nurse ended up with the 76ers and kyle is in pitt bro is just moving to pennslyvania #is it a joke....we don't know.... #the amount of kyle dubas/max arkells twt fic i've written should get me put in a home i think. there was more than one #dark days...i think my friends are glad i am off twitter frankly #i'm missing the cuda homeopener which sucks but i see the cuda 500 times a year. this is the first time the arkells have come to sf #in like. SEVERAL years. they never come to the usa west coast they only ever go to new york when they come to the us #biggest band in canada that no one has ever heard of in the usa lol. i'm not missing this shit #posting too much bc i. do not want to edit my fic #beryl gave me their beta edit notes and i melted into a puddle and rolled into the sewer drain and floated out to sea #me: ''this fic SUCKS i need HELP'' beryl: ''here are my beta notes so you can edit'' me: 😨😨😨😨 #fuck around (write a bad fic and send it to your trusted beta for help) find out (receive beta notes and now i have to edit) #(in two days)(help)(it needs so much editing) #they said i could go up tot 12-15k if i needed. small mercies. ''10k limit was so you don't write 30k again'' ok fair!!!! #fresno oilers.txt

[birdy-bird27]

TFW you are questioning your future because how much you fucking hate school and the workload associated with it

#just university things 🤪 #the only reason why I’m sticking to full time schedule is becuase of scholarships #that way I don’t have I pay for school #but god I want to drop to part time student so fucking bad #vent #rant #I’m doing good at least 8 hrs of hw every day #oh yes also work on top of that #just fuck me I guess #this is such a poor me issue I’m sorry #like wow I’m forced to attend university full time so I get to do classes for free poor me #I am just having such a hard time balancing my work load #I don’t even like business why tf am I getting a bachelors in it #I know why it’s becuase im already now 3 years invested into it and I get to do it with no cost to me #do I really want to be stuck in some soul sucking corporate job rest of my life? #is this my career? #what the fuck am I doing with my life #I don’t know anymore #I’m jdut trying to make it day by day #try not be crushed by overwhelming sadness of our current reality I guess #AGHHHH

[sapphicsnzs]

currently crying in the library while studying

#self obs #i’m so stressed and anxious i wanna scream #i hate being negative cause i don’t wanna put my energy on anyone else #but fuck i’m so tired of being positive all the time #i literally have been having bad week after bad week and i can’t talk to anyone about it #i also feel like i’m everyone’s emotional sounding board and no one does the same for me and then i have to hold all my frustration in #no one even asks me how i am anymore or cares enough to listen to the answer #this sounds so dumb but everyone around me only talks about themselves #like literally the past two days i’ve hung out with friends and both times people there were like i didn’t even know that was going on #i’m just so tired of feeling like no one cares about me or that i’m wasting my energy when i say a single thing about myself #i have therapy tomorrow and i feel like it’s gonna be a cry through the whole session kinda day #i’ll probably delete this in like 20 minutes cause i’m being stupid

[llitchilitchi]

:/

#vent incoming #id really appreciate it if my ex uhhh respected my boundaries #like its nothing groundbreaking #but she likes to go out with people drinking and whenever she does shes very unfocused when responding to my messages #(we have lengthy conversations about stuff and she keeps them going despite hanging out with people which no comment there) #and I always get overwhelmed and anxious when it goes on for a long while because I cant make sense of the conversation n stuff #so i tried to push the conversations into a lull whenever she was out #and last weekend i kinda lost my patience with it and told her directly that i dont fuck with this anymore and i refuse to do this #we can have a few 'hi how are you where you at how you doing whats up' kinda stuff going but never the in depth stuff we talk about #she was whiny but eventually just let me have my way because i wouldnt entertain the rest #and today she was responding kinda funny and i wondered if its just me being bad at talking again or if shes busy with stuff #no :) she went out and didnt tell me :) and she just slipped up because she was frustrated about her friend getting drunk :) #i shouldnt even be posting this but ugh I am just. so tired #i get it she missed me cause i was away for most of the day and wouldnt even respond cause i dont use data when im out #but pulling this is just not it

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

skipping class for the first time in my life bc my professor has covid and he sent out an email saying we’re having class and he’s asymptomatic and will wear a mask per cdc guidelines even tho he’s past the 5 day required isolation period. like. great whatevs but have you actually tested negative

update: the answer was no he had not

#stressed as FUCK #it’s fine we have a textbook and he doesn’t take roll #hoping he doesn’t do an extra credit activity but if i miss it for the sake of my health so be it #i have to go home afterwards anyway bc i have an appointment the next day with my thyroid dr #stressed abt that too bc my mum has dropped all precautions as if she isn’t in her 60s and didn’t lose her husband to covid #and idk what my sibling is doing but i know they’ve stopped masking at their practices and i wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped masking #all together. they also only wear cloth masks but at least it was something #idk i just feel like im the only one not ignoring it. like. when my dad got sick i asked him early on if he could smell and he was like #‘I’m just congested’ and my mum was like ‘no he’s just sick it’s not covid’ and then we waited until it was too late #like. i tell my mum that there’s nothing we could have done bc i don’t want her to feel guilty but like #idk. part of me thinks that if people had just listened to me and gotten him tested earlier and not lived in denial that maybe he’d still be #here. and my mum is pretty healthy but again she’s in her 60s. i don’t want to lose another parent to covid. or if she gets it and has it #bad or ends up with long covid then im gonna have to come home to take care of her or. idek. like i don’t live at home anymore so i can’t #pick up the slack if something happens to her. and my sibling definitely can’t #it’s so stressful. did we not watch the same process of my dad rapidly deteriorating. by the time we took him to the hospital he looked like #a corpse. he was completely grey and his eyes were glazed and he couldn’t even sit up or wave goodbye. has she just forgotten that happened #am i the only one who remembers watching my dad deteriorate in front of us #vent tw #covid tw

[plinkcat-gif]

when i voice my discomfort brought on by something related to my neurodivergency (overstimulation, headache brought on by specific thing) or my allergies i need everyone to understand that it’s either relatable or funny

#i’m so sick of one of my friends being like ‘oooh i’m so sorry man :(‘ like idk me too. but i live with it every day idc anymore #like i am very self aware. i know what’s happening to me and why and i don’t need pity for it i need to make light of it #it’s just like ok. how do i even respond to that #i think i would appreciate more like ’ouch dude. smth similar happens to me when’ or like #‘damn that sucks. that’s so fucking funny that your body does that tho lol’ #this person is also like a huge people pleaser tho lol. a lot of their behaviors irk me #like we’re still besties it won’t change that and i have voiced my frustrations with them but they’re not bad enough to impact our rship at #all lol #OK. that’s all

[pepprs]

genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim

#purrs #delete later #covid19 #i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill / #immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in #any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy #for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the #throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more) #disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in #ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and #healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to #school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist #anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to #access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i #HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i #need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have #that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way #it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator. #* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear #for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in #part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I #think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.