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a-froger-epic · 3 years

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The Queen fandom, Freddie Mercury and Characterisation

Or: Why are those anons like this? Why are those writers like this? Why don't we understand each other?

In this essay, I will-

No, I’m serious, I will. And this is an essay. It’s roughly 2500 words.

The friction, concerns and hurt in fandom around Freddie’s characterisation - most recently centred around a fic the author tagged as ‘Bisexual Freddie Mercury’, stating in the notes that they have chosen to write Freddie as bisexual - have given me a lot to think about. And if you have been asking yourself the questions above, this here might be of interest to you.

First off, why do I feel like I need to talk about this?

The answer is not: Because I’m so very influential in fandom.

I think my influence in this fandom has been vastly overstated by some people. If I were so influential, everybody would rush to read anything I rec or write. And trust me, they really don’t. My relevance is confined to a very specific part of the fandom. That part is made up of: Freddie fans, Froger shippers, some Roger fans, a handful of writers who like to support each other and like each other’s work, and people who are really into research.

There are many parts of fandom where my opinions are entirely irrelevant. Looking at the big picture, by which I mean only the Queen RPF fandom, I simply am not that important. Looking at the even bigger picture: the Queen fandom as a whole, the majority of which doesn't read or care about RPF - I am literally nobody.

Furthermore, everything I will be talking about here is in relation to the RPF-centred part of Queen fandom.

So why this public essay?

Because I have been deeply involved for two years in a divide of opinions concerning how Freddie ought to be written and how people think of RPF. I think this is in large part because I - like several other authors currently writing for the fandom - absolutely love research. It's my idea or fun. I love to dig into these real people’s lives. Not everybody does that and not everybody is comfortable with that. It’s a personal choice depending on people's levels of comfort surrounding RPF. But this does put me firmly in the camp of Freddie fans who like to explore who this man really was, and track down every last fact about him.

Freddie Mercury vs. Fictional Freddie

I’ll admit that I am one of those people who have the urge to speak up when they see somebody claim that Freddie was bisexual, and sometimes I will say: “Well, actually, we do know that he didn’t see himself that way, because…” For me, these have often been positive exchanges.

I think there is overwhelming evidence that Freddie Mercury identified as gay from his split with Mary to the end of his life (wonderfully curated here by RushingHeadlong). In the niche of fandom I have frequented over the last two years, as far as Freddie the real man is concerned, I have barely ever seen anybody argue with this.

But fanfiction and talking about real Freddie are not one the same thing, and they shouldn't be, and as far as I am concerned they don't have to be. Some writers like to put every last fact and detail they can find into their fic, in an attempt to approach a characterisation that feels authentic to them (and perhaps others), and other writers are simply content to draw inspiration from the real people, writing versions vaguely based on them.

But writing historically and factually accurate RPF is more respectful.

Is it? I've thought about this for a long time, and I really can't agree that it is. This, to me, seems to presume that we know what kind of fiction these real people would prefer to have been written about them. That, in itself, is impossible to know.

However, if I imagine Freddie reading RPF about himself, I think that he might laugh himself silly at an AU with a character merely inspired by him and may be really quite disturbed by a gritty, realistic take full of intimate details of and speculations about his life and psyche. Such as I also tend to write, just by the by, so this is definitely not a criticism of anybody. Freddie is dead. Of all the people to whom the way he is written in fiction matters, Freddie himself is not one. There is no way to know what Freddie would or wouldn't have wanted, in this regard, and so it isn't relevant.

Personally, I can't get behind the idea that speculating and creatively exploring very intimate details of Freddie's life, things he never even spoke of to anybody, is in any way more respectful than writing versions of him which take a lot of creative liberties. As I've said so many times before, I think either all of RPF is disrespectful or none of it is.

So who cares about Freddie characterisation in fiction anyway?

Clearly, a lot of people do. Freddie Mercury was an incredibly inspiring figure and continues to be that to a multitude of very different people for different reasons. There are older fans who have maybe faced the same kind of discrimination because of their sexuality, who saw Freddie's life and persona distorted and attacked by other fans and the media for decades, who have a lot of hurt and resentment connected to such things as calling Freddie bisexual - because this has been used (and in the wider fandom still is used) to discredit his relationship with Jim, to argue that Mary was the love of his life and none of his same sex relationships mattered, to paint a picture where "the gay lifestyle" was the death of him. And that is homophobic. That is not right. I completely understand that upset.

But.

These are not the only people who care about Freddie and for whom Freddie is a source of inspiration and comfort. What about people who simply connect to his struggles with his sexuality from a different angle? What about, for example, somebody who identifies with the Freddie who seemed to be reluctant to label himself, because that, to them, implies a freedom and sexual fluidity that helps them cope with how they see their own sexuality? Is it relevant why Freddie was cagey about labelling himself? Does it matter that it likely had a lot to do with discrimination? Are his reasons important? To some degree, yes. But are other queer people not allowed to see that which helps them in him? Are they not allowed to take empowerment and inspiration from this? Can you imagine Freddie himself ever resenting somebody who, for whatever reason, admired him and whose life he made that little bit brighter through his mere existence, however they interpreted it? I honestly can't say that I can imagine Freddie himself objecting to that.

This is the thing about fame. Anyone who is famous creates a public persona, and this persona belongs to the fans. By choosing that path, this person gives a lot of themselves to their fans. To interpret, to draw inspiration from, to love the way it makes sense to the individual. Please remember, at this point, that we are talking about how people engage with Freddie as a fictional character creatively. This is not about anybody trying to lay down the law regarding who Freddie really was, unequivocally. This is all about writers using his inspiring persona and the imprint he left on this world to explore themes that resonate with them.

This is what we as writers do. We write about things which resonate with us and often touch us deeply.

But don't they care about the real Freddie?

Yes, actually, I would argue that a lot of people care about "the real Freddie". It seems to me that depicting Freddie as gay or with a strong preference for men is what the vast majority of the RPF-centered fandom on AO3 already does. You will find very, very few stories where Freddie is depicted having a good time with women sexually or romantically. That he was mostly all about men is already the majority opinion in this part of fandom.

But another question is, who was the real Freddie? If the last two years in fandom have taught me anything, it is that even things which seem like fact to one person can seem like speculation to another. I have personally had so many discussions with so many people on different sides of the debate about the exact circumstances of Freddie's life and his inner world, that I must say I don't think there is such a thing as one accurate, "real" portrayal of Freddie. Even those of us who are heavily invested in research sometimes disagree quite significantly about the interpretations of sources. So that narrows "You don't care about the real Freddie" down to "You don't care about Freddie because you don't interpret everything we know about his life the exact same way I do". Sure, by that definition, very few people care about Freddie the same way you do.

The bottom line is, there are so many writers and fans who love him, people who are obsessed with him, people who care about him deeply. They might care about who they believe he really was or who he chose to present himself as to the world, the way he wanted to be seen. But ultimately, in my personal opinion, if somebody is inspired to write Freddie as a fictional character they feel that Freddie means a lot to them. And it is hurtful to accuse them of not caring.

But what some people write hurts/triggers me.

Yes, that can happen. Because the nature of AO3 is that everything is permitted. Personally, I am very much in agreement with that. You will also find me in the camp of people who are against any sort of censorship on AO3, no matter how much some of the content goes against my own morals or how distasteful I find it. Some people disagree with that, which is fine. We must agree to disagree then. Here, I would like to quote QuirkySubject from the post she made regarding this whole situation because I cannot put it better myself: “The principle that all fic is valid (even RPF fic that subverts the lived experience of the person the fic is based on) is like the foundation of [AO3]. The suggestion that certain kinds of characterisations aren't allowed will provoke a knee-jerk reaction by many writers.”

No matter how much you may disagree with a story's plot or characterisation, it is allowed on AO3. "But wait," you might say, "the issue is not with it being on the site but with people like yourself - who should care about "the real Freddie" - supporting it."

This is some of what I have taken away from the upset I have seen. And it’s worth deconstructing.

I've already addressed "the real Freddie". Moving on to...

The author is dead.

This is something others might very well disagree on as well, but to me the story itself matters far more than authorial intent. And what may be one thing according to the author’s personal definition, may be another thing to the reader. Let’s use an example. This is an ask I received yesterday:

This author thinks they were writing Freddie as bisexual. However, going by the plot of their story, I would actually say that it is largely very similar to how I see the progression of Freddie’s young adulthood. To me, personally, Freddie would still be gay throughout the story because he arrives - eventually - at the conclusion that he is. The author and I disagree on terminology only. And I think simply disagreements about terminology, given that some terms are so loaded with history in Freddie’s case, trips a lot of people up.

It seems to me that many people still equate bisexuality with a 50/50 attraction to men and women, when in actual fact many - if not most - bi/pan people would say that it is nowhere near that distribution. Some people are of the opinion that anybody who experiences some attraction to the opposite sex, even if they have a strong same-sex preference, could be technically considered bisexual. (However, sexuality isn’t objective, it’s subjective. At least when it comes to real people. What about fictionalised real people? We will get to that.)

Let's briefly return to real Freddie.

What I'm seeing is that there are several ways of thinking here, with regard to his sexuality.

1. Freddie was gay because that seems to be (from everything we know) the conclusion he arrived at and the way he saw himself, once he had stopped dating women. Therefor, he was always gay, it just took him a while to come to terms with it.

2. Freddie can be referred to as bisexual during the time when he was with women because at that time, he may very well have thought of himself thusly - whether that was wishful thinking and he was aware of it or whether he really thought he might be bisexual is not something we can say definitively. He came out as gay to two friends in 1974 on separate occassions, and he talked to his girlfriends about being bisexual. (Personally, I think here it is interesting to look at who exactly he was saying what to, but let's put my own interpretations aside.)

3. Freddie can be seen as bisexual/pansexual because his life indicates that he was able to be in relationships with both men and women and because there is nothing to disprove he didn't experience any attraction to the women he was with. Had he lived in a different time, he may have defined himself differently.

Now, I'm of the first school of thought here, personally, although I understand the second and also, as a thought experiment, the third.

I think all of these approaches have validity, although the historical context of Freddie's life should be kept in mind and is very relevant whenever we speak about the man himself.

But when we return to writing fictionalised versions of Freddie, any of these approaches should absolutely be permissible. Yes, some of them or aspects of them can cause upset to some people.

And this is why AO3 has a tagging system. This is why authors write very clearly worded author's notes. This is the respect authors extend to their readers. This, in turn, has to be respected. Everybody is ultimately responsible for their own experience on the archive.

Nobody has the right to dictate what is or isn't published under the Queen tag. As far as I am concerned, nobody should have that right. As far as I am concerned, everybody has a responsibility to avoid whatever may upset them. I understand where the upset comes from. I also maintain it is every writer's right to engage with Freddie's character creatively the way they choose to.

None of us can control how other people engage with Freddie or the fandom. None of us can control what other people enjoy or dislike about the fandom.

The best way to engage with the content creating part of fandom, in my opinion, has always been to create what brings you joy, to consume the content that brings you joy and to respectfully step away from everything that doesn't.

#Queen fandom #Freddie Mercury #bi Freddie

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incorrectbandofbrothersquotes · 3 years

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Downton’s Easy Company - Chapter 16

A Band of Brothers x Downton Abbey Crossover

Summary: The new generation of Downton is taking over, but just as the second world war is raging across Europe. On a cool London night, the children of the Crawleys meet the boys of the American 101st Airborne. Worlds collide and hearts are on the line.

Word Count: 3.4k

Tag List: @purplelavalamp, @johnny-martin-is-mypeanut, @the-disassembled-boy, @tvserie-s-world, @50svibes, @cherriesx, @incognito-princess, @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant, @claire-bear-1218, @goingmyway, @marv-llous, @foalystechcrew, @mother-dearest-loves-me, @dench1992, @neverendingstories00, @greenmonkeyfish, @grumpablebutloveable, @lilaxdream @iilovemusic12us If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: I hope you enjoy this update! There’s a lot of letters, but I figured they were the best way to show the time passing while they’re separated, so I hope that comes across to everyone :)

Warning(s): None :)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15

READ THIS FIC ON AO3

Chapter 16 here we go!!!

Dear George,

I’m so relieved you’re back in England. Let us know when you have some leave so we can prepare for you here at home. We miss you a great deal.

Katrine seems sweet enough, though she is rather private. Her boy has made himself quite comfortable, especially with Mama and Papa. We offered to hire a nanny, but Katrine wouldn’t hear of it. It seems an odd way to raise a child to me, but I suppose it comes from her own upbringing.

You’re right about the boy being bright. Papa and I have taken initiative and are looking into some schools close by. He’s too young to enroll just yet, but we had a tutor evaluate him, and the report was quite promising.

I do wish you’d tell me how you came by these two. I know you said they helped you when you were trapped in Holland, but I’d like the full story. Perhaps when you come home next, you and I can have a long discussion about it, and the possibilities for the Mondeels here in Yorkshire.

On an unrelated note, have you heard anything from Caroline? We haven’t seen her since before Christmas, and she has not been answering my letters. Have we done something to upset her? If you have any information, do share.

I hope you’re well, my darling.

Love,

Mother.

***

Dear Ron,

I can’t tell you how good it was to hear from you after all those weeks of silence. I’m also glad you’re out of danger (mostly) and can correspond again. I’ve missed you, as weak as it sounds to admit it.

Baby and I are doing just fine. I am starting to show more now. So much so that I’m finally making use of the maternity clothes Victoria brought me. I’ve had them tailored so that they’re more modern - not that fashion matters much in times like this - but it does make me feel better.

I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been in touch with my family. Just Marigold, Sybbie, Victoria, and George. There isn’t much to tell them except the one thing I know I can’t tell them. As I told you, it doesn’t feel like the sort of thing you put in a letter. Do you think I should grit my teeth and bear it? Or can I put it off a little longer? I’m really beginning to miss my mother, whose presence would be much appreciated by her frightened daughter.

I must make another admission. I am scared of this. Of the birth, yes, but mostly what comes after. We are going to be responsible for a life. It’s completely overwhelming. Not that I want to bog you down, you’ve got plenty to worry about where you are, but do you ever think of such things? How do you feel about a nanny? I had one growing up, but I understand you likely did not. Was it helpful to you? There’s so much to consider.

I’m also trying to come up with names. I like plenty of boy’s names, but I am starting to wonder if we should have a girl name picked out as well, just in case. I really do think it’s a boy, but one can never be too prepared.

Here are the names I like so far:

Robert (after my grandfather)

Phillip

Theodore (Ted for short)

Wesley

Charles

Let me know your opinion on these. Keep in mind, his middle name should be Ronald, after you, as is tradition. Do you do that in America?

If you’ve got any girl names, send them along. I really do think we should decide on one of each.

Be careful, love.

Your Caroline

***

Caroline,

Glad everything’s alright. I’m doing fine. I’d tell you more details, but they’d be redacted anyway, so what’s the point?

You tell your family only when you’re ready. Don’t worry about them. Focus on staying healthy. That’s the only priority right now. If you really need your mom, reach out. She might not like it, but she is still your mother.

Nobody’s ever really ready for parenthood. Just remember that we are adults and it’s a baby. It doesn’t know how to do anything. We can handle this.

I did not have a nanny, but depending on how the war goes, you might need the help. Let’s play that one by ear. Don’t overthink it.

Girls' names are irrelevant, we’re not having a girl.

As for the names you’ve chosen, here are my thoughts.

Robert is a no go. That’s Colonel Sink’s name and I don’t want to give him a big head.

Phillip is a possibility.

No to Theodore/Ted. Much too old sounding.

Wesley can stay in the running.

I don’t like Charles.

Now, for your consideration, here are names that I like:

James

Thomas

Leo

Haven’t been able to think of much more. But let me know what you think.

Ron

***

Ron,

You are truly a stubborn arse. All the more shame on me for falling for you, I suppose.

In spite of all that, I thank you for your reassurance. I will wait some more before telling my family. Marigold and Victoria are doing a very good job of caring for me.

If you refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a girl, I will simply choose a name myself and you will just have to live with it. I like Violet, after my great-grandmother.

As for the boy names you picked out, I have to say no to Thomas. My uncle is Tom Branson, and then we have our butler Thomas Barrow, and I should hate for our child’s name to be confused with those two. I don’t mean that in a bad way, they’re two of my favorite people, but to have three Tom/Thomas’s in my heart would only get confusing.

The other two names I very much like. So our list is now down to:

Phillip

Wesley

James

Leo

(and Violet)

We can narrow it down further at a later date. I’m afraid I have to cut this letter short as I have a doctor’s appointment.

Stay safe, love.

Your Caroline

Speirs wrinkled his nose at the latest letter. It may have also been because of the dank smell of Haguenau, but he preferred to blame Caroline. Truly, he was fond of the final list of names. He stared at the last one that she scratched out and turned it over in his mind.

“Violet?” he murmured.

“Sir?” questioned Lipton from his spot on the couch.

Speirs looked at the sergeant. “What do you think of the name Violet?”

Lipton’s brow furrowed. Before he could answer, he coughed, a small rattle still in his chest, though he was doing much better than before.

“Violet?” he asked. “For what, like a cat?”

“No, like a baby,” Speirs said.

He still had not told any of his men about Caroline’s pregnancy. He considered telling Lipton now, just to have someone around he could consult on these matters, but thought better of it. Enough people knew as it was and Caroline was not around to give her permission.

“Ah, I see,” Lip replied. “I think it’s sweet. Traditional, but not overdone.”

Speirs was surprised that Lip did not challenge a baby name inquiry at a time like this. That was Lip, though. All support, no questions asked. Speirs took a deep breath.

“What do you think of Phillip?”

***

Dear Joe,

I hope I haven’t offended you somehow. It’s been weeks with no word from you. And the girls have received letters from others in your company, so I can’t help feeling like it’s personal. If something has changed between us, I hope you will share that with me. Just give me some clarity, please.

Love,

Victoria

Joe sighed, struggling to put the letter into his pocket with the truck rocking through the countryside. Eventually, he tucked it away and buttoned his pocket over it. Webster watched Joe with keen interest. Especially since Joe’s face looked so pained as he read.

“Everything alright?” Webster asked.

“What’s it to you?” Joe returned.

Webster shrugged. “Alright, I’ll mind my business.”

He returned to his journal. Joe chewed his cheek and glowered out at the scenery.

“It’s Victoria,” he admitted.

He needed to talk to someone about it. Why not Web?

Webster looked up curiously. “What about her?”

“I think I gotta break up with her,” Joe said. “We’re just...too different.”

“Is that so bad?” Webster wondered. “Maybe you can balance each other out.”

“Nah, I think we want different things,” Joe insisted. “I love the girl, but I can’t ask her to give up everything for me, y’know?”

“I can’t say I’m familiar with the situation,” Webster said. “But I understand what you’re saying. Either way you go, one of you will be making a huge sacrifice. What you have to decide is if it’s worth it.”

Joe heaved another sigh. “I don’t know…”

“I think you have your answer then,” Webster said.

With that, he started writing again and left Joe to his thoughts. Joe considered that. He wasn’t totally sure about Victoria. If he was, shouldn’t he be willing to sacrifice? But he thought of her sweet smile and the tenderness of her heart, and he felt weak. He was lucky Victoria wanted to be with him, wanted to compromise with him. He had to think about it some more. He needed to decide what he really wanted out of life. But what were the possibilities? They were heading into Germany, but the war was not over yet.

***

Dear Dick,

Paris is settling down and beginning to feel like the place I left years ago. It’s been fun to take Victoria and Caroline around. Caroline is getting bigger every day it seems, but she’s very healthy. Incredibly, I felt the child kick, and I daresay it made me rather emotional. I feel my cousin is hardly out of her own childhood, and now she is bringing new life into the world.

It reminds me of my own mother. I wish I could confide this in Caroline, but I feel it isn’t really my story to tell. I’m a key player in it, of course, but obviously my mother’s privacy comes first. Thank you again for your own discretion.

Seeing Caroline become a mother has also put thoughts of my own future into perspective. After everything I’ve been through, I want very much to live simply. Because of my parentage, I can never really belong in the world my family exists in. I don’t think it’s what I want anyway. I just want a peaceful, quiet place to raise a family and perhaps write a novel. How do you picture your life after the war? I don’t believe we’ve discussed it before. I do hope I am somewhere in your imaginings. You are certainly in mine.

You are also in my thoughts and prayers. Do take care of yourself.

Love,

Marigold

Dick read over Marigold’s words, touched. She said exactly the things he was hoping she would. They were heading in the same direction, with the same goals. It was a relief to him. It was easy to picture Marigold as his wife, at his side. He admired her, respected her, and loved her.

“What are you smiling about over there?” Nixon teased.

Dick shook his head. “Nothing. Just something nice Marigold wrote.”

“Oh?” Nix returned, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Dick said. “I think it’s time to talk about something more serious between us.”

Nix smirked. “Should I say congratulations now or wait until after the ceremony?”

Dick rolled his eyes.

***

Dear Marigold,

It might sound silly, but I made a promise to myself after D-Day that should I survive the war, I’d find myself somewhere quiet to live out my life in peace. And you are absolutely a part of that picture. You have belonged there since that fateful day in the elevator.

I’m glad to hear Caroline is doing alright with the baby. I would like to check on Speirs, but it feels like an awkward thing to ask about. So I’m afraid I don’t have any updates on him, though I’m sure he’s in contact with Caroline.

Germany is surprisingly nice. Maybe it’s the warm weather or the lack of artillery, but we’re enjoying it here. The war should be over soon. So I’m happy to begin planning that future with you if that’s what you want. That obviously includes an offer I’d rather make in person, and we can have that conversation the next time I see you. Hopefully, that won’t be too long.

I love you and miss you.

Yours,

Dick

***

Dear Gene,

Bill and Joe are doing alright. They’ll be heading home soon, and selfish as it is, I will miss them terribly. They’re truly the most entertaining patients I’ve ever had, especially Bill. But of course you’re familiar with his personality.

I hope I’m able to get to Paris soon to be with Caroline. She has asked me to be there to be an advocate for her for something big coming up. Really big. I’m afraid I can’t tell you exactly what it is, as it’s just a bit scandalous. But she’s made some wishes known to me. That sounds ominous, but everything is going well so far.

I hope you’re doing well. With spring’s arrival, there must be a bit of a reprieve if you’re outdoors. Do you have a comfortable place to sleep at least? Lord knows you and your men have earned it.

As for myself, I’ve applied to a university in Dublin, to attend in the fall (if the war is over, and it looks like it may be soon). I think it’s high time I experienced my Irish heritage and I want more for myself. I love being a nurse, but I want to explore all my options. I haven’t told anyone in the family yet. I’m going to Downton soon and will talk it over with George (he’s home on leave), but I wanted to tell you first. I could use additional hopes for my acceptance.

Look after yourself. Get some rest. Don’t forget to eat.

All my love,

Sybbie

Eugene tried not to be dismayed at the news. He wanted Sybbie to do what was best for her, but it dashed his hopes of asking her to come back to Louisiana with him. Not permanently - at least not right away - but to see a bit of his world. The way he had seen hers at Downton Abbey. He supposed it was still possible, but there was no guarantee of when the war would be over and their timeframe depended entirely on that.

Even if she was able to visit, how could they progress together - if that was even what they were - with her in Dublin and him at home? He tried to picture himself staying in Europe, but he hated the idea. He missed home too much. He did not feel he belonged in Europe, nor did he particularly want to. For the first time, they weren’t on the same page.

***

Dear Sybbie,

Thanks for all the updates on Guarnere and Toye. We’re all worried about them, and your letters put our minds at ease. I know those two appreciated your help too, and they’ll miss you back in the states.

It sounds awfully suspicious about Caroline. I trust you though. And she must too if she’s asking you to join her in Paris.

Good news, I am sleeping in a bed most nights. You’re so sweet to worry about things like that for me.

I’m proud of you for taking a chance and applying to school. Not a lot of girls have the courage to do that, even if they want to. But you’re spirited enough. I have no doubt you’ll get in. You’re a brilliant nurse, and even if you aren’t accepted, you’ll have a great career ahead of you.

You should tell your father you applied. I think it’ll make him really happy that you’re interested in Ireland. And you’ll have his hopes in your corner as well.

I know it’s unlikely, but I hope I’ll get to see you before you go.

Take care of yourself,

Eugene

***

Dear Caroline,

I’m home again on leave, and I still haven’t confessed my feelings to Kat or to Mother. Do you think me a dreadful coward? I’m beginning to think it of myself. In fairness, Mother hardly lets me alone when I’m at home, so Kat and I barely get time together for me to be able to have any sort of real discussion with her. I have bought a ring, though, and enclosed the catalog I purchased it from for your approval. You have very fine taste, and I trust you.

How are you doing? The arrival should be soon, right? Spring is fully upon us now - truly a good time for welcoming something new. I hope it all goes smoothly and you come out of it feeling as strong as I know you to be. I’m looking forward to your return to Downton.

Stay safe.

Your brother,

George

Caroline rubbed her swollen belly as she read George’s letter, her back aching. Her cousins were around her, Sybbie finally having arrived at last. The baby was due soon. May snuck up on her so quickly, she wondered where the time went. Nerves began to eat at her the closer she got, especially since she still had not told the rest of the family. She took Ron’s words to heart. She would only tell them when she was good and ready.

She decided also to get the birth over with before telling them. Perhaps they would be charmed by how cute it would be - which she was certain of - and would be more forgiving. It was always harder to be honest to someone’s face, especially a baby’s, and Caroline was banking on that. Plus, she wanted to arrange for George to be with her when she told them. She hoped he would wait on proposing to Kat. The ring he chose was stunning, and she made a mental note to tell him so.

On the morning of May 8, Caroline enjoyed breakfast with Sybbie and Victoria while Marigold went down to get a newspaper. Caroline sipped her tea and hoped there would be some good news at last.

“Why don’t you just turn on the radio?” Victoria wondered.

“Because it’s ghastly noise,” Caroline said. “Mornings are meant for quietly reading the newspaper like sensible people.”

Victoria laughed and rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Marigold burst into the room, looking winded and completely shell shocked. She’d clearly run all the way up from the lobby.

“Goodness, Marigold, what is it?” Sybbie asked.

“The war is over,” Marigold blurted out, holding out the day’s newspaper.

They all saw the VE-Day headline, though they couldn’t quite believe it. After all these years at war, it had become the new normal. The send offs, the letters, the telegrams, the sleepless nights. It was all over. No more fighting. No more death. No more.

“Good God in heaven,” Caroline breathed out. “Can it really be true?”

“It’s right there in black and white,” Marigold said, staring at the paper as if it were a bomb that might take her hand off any second.

They all feared this was a dream they might wake up from. Slowly, Sybbie rose from her chair, tears filling her eyes. She gazed at each of her cousins, who she truly regarded more as sisters now, and she reached for their hands. She took hold of Caroline’s, Caroline took hold of Victoria’s, Victoria took Marigold’s, and then Marigold and Sybbie completed the circle.

“We made it, girls,” Sybbie said. “And so did our men.”

Caroline blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek. She took a deep breath and blinked the rest away.

“What are we blubbering about?” she joked. “This calls for a celebration! We should be ordering champagne not crying like babies!”

They all laughed and agreed, fighting the lumps in their throats and the mist in their eyes. And they did order champagne. Together, they shared a toast to the end of the war, and the start of their new lives.

***

Dear Marigold,

I’ve talked things over with Colonel Sink, and he’s agreed to have you all join us in Zell am Zee, Austria. Our lodgings will suit you well, I think. Plus, I know Ron is anxious to be present when Caroline gives birth. Hopefully, it hasn’t already happened. If you can clear it with her doctor to travel, let me know when we can expect you.

Looking forward to your answer.

Yours,

Dick

#band of brothers #downton abbey #ron speirs #caroline talbot #dick winters #marigold crawley #sybbie branson #eugene roe #victoria aldridge #joe liebgott #Easy Company #downton's easy company series

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Note

That post about "I'll keep reading a fic that mischaracterizes Dick even if it angers me because the plot is interesting" but with Scott McCall. I'll come across genuinely interesting concepts and plots and power through for that even when Scott is portrayed negatively in the story, he's there at least and it's either that or wading through 99% of fic which centers Stiles/Sterek and the most common Scott tag being "Scott's a bad friend" ya know?

Honestly, what is it about Scott McCall and Dick Grayson that gets them (mis)treated so similarly by their respective fandoms?

Oh yeah, definitely. Tbh, part of why I’m so loud and obnoxious in Batfandom is because in TW fandom it eventually got to the point where I just had to stop reading fic completely, because I wasn’t finding anything that was Scott-friendly outside of the handful of writers I was already friends with and I just got fed up. And I’m too stubborn to do the same thing twice in two separate fandoms so I just....refuse to give up on DG fic by way of a rousing morning “Not today Satan” pep talk. fhslakhfkal

But honestly, the parallels, there are more than a few:

1) Obviously I do think the racism element has plenty to do with it. Especially in the way “is Scott really even Latino on the show though, I mean did they ever actually SAY it” arguments could be swapped out almost word for word with the “is Dick really even Romani in the comics though, I mean it was just a retcon” arguments. With the primary aim of arguments against this being a factor focusing on just invalidating the idea that either are characters of color in the first place, rather than examining the way people engage with these characters for signs of racism. Instead of trying to refute that there’s anything wrong with certain ways people interact with these characters, people jump right into “well there can’t be racism if the character in question isn’t even REALLY a character of color, y’know not like, a board-certified one with proper accreditation and everything.”

But its definitely interesting when you look at how Dick Grayson’s been perceived by fandom overall, like, in terms of looking back over the years. As someone who’s been in and out of DC fandoms to various degrees since the late 90s, as in before Dick was retconned as being Romani in the first place, and as I’ve said before, he used to be a LOT more popular and forgiven for stuff in the past in fandom.....like, I maintain that if you look back at the early 2000s-2010, aka when that retcon was not just written, but gradually and more fully spread into the fandom’s overall awareness and perception of the character....you can almost like, SEE the empathy gap suddenly click into place once he was more fully solidified as a character of color in a lot of fans’ minds. Even if they won’t admit it because that would require admitting to the racism that then began to seep into how they interacted with this character now, compared to how they’d interacted with this character in the past.

And I think the empathy gap - and the complete refusal to admit that’s even a thing, because its not like these are REALLY characters of color so why would it even apply - like, I think that goes a long way to explaining the way both Scott and Dick consistently have their traumas invalidated and ignored by large parts of their fandoms, with the focus always being shifted to how bad things that happen to them are really MORE bad for how they affect the people around them, etc.

2) It also I think has a lot to do with their personalities and the archetypes they both embody as empathetic caregiver types. I think I described it pretty well here in my BUABS fic:

“What do you know about Impostor Syndrome?"

"It's a term sometimes used to describe over-achievers who have trouble internalizing their accomplishments. Perfectionists who think they're frauds because they don't know how to take credit for their own achievements and say its because of luck or timing or something other people did," Dick frowned, puzzling through both the question and the aim of it. He raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like something that applies to someone as arrogant as me."

"Don't be a little shit, Dick," Dinah said with small smirk. "And you're right, I don't think any of that applies to you. However, it's also used in another capacity, to describe trauma survivors who are unable to internalize their own trauma. Who deflect from it, or mitigate it, treat it as less than it is on the basis that it wasn't as bad as what's happened to someone else. It's especially common in trauma survivors who are noted for being especially empathetic or who have caregiver personality types. People who are so used to self-identifying as someone whose role or purpose is in helping others, that they find themselves unable to identify as traumatized because it might shift the focus to themselves instead of people they feel need it more. Does that behavior sound a little more familiar?"

(For the record, that fic is set in the YJ universe, not the comics, and I go with the approach that Dick and Bruce have a much better relationship there than they do in the comics, and thus overall Dick’s mental health and self-esteem are better than in the comics, generally speaking. I only mention this as a tangent, but like....I think Impostor Syndrome as an issue for perfectionists and over-achievers with low self-esteem DOES pertain to comic book Dick Grayson as well as its trauma interpretation. But anyway).

But point is, I think that describes both Dick and Scott, and their respective approaches to dealing (or not dealing) with their personal traumas. This isn’t a problem in and of itself, as its a valid survivor reaction and issue plenty of people deal with....the problem lies in the willingness of fans to capitalize on the OPPORTUNITIES this presents, as fans of other characters, to keep the focus trained on the characters around these two, and THEIR issues, even at the expense of these two.

Basically, its not in either of their natures to ASK for help and forcefully DRAG focus and awareness to themselves and their issues, for a number of reasons including the fact that I don’t think either character feels they ‘deserve’ that focus or need that help more than other people need theirs.

And because these characters are the empathetic caregiver archetypes in their respective ensembles, ie the ones who usually take the lead in reaching out to even characters who don’t normally ask for help themselves....there’s often no one else immediately popping up in reader awareness as like, a likely candidate to extend that same awareness and offer of aid to Dick and Scott even without them actually asking for it.

(Which, is a large part of my commitment to the theme “Stop assembling your ensembles with just ONE of each archetype, mix and match more, or like....use more hybrid archetypes so you don’t HAVE this problem, and also, stop limiting characters to JUST their archetypes, three-dimensional people aren’t confined to only acting upon a limited menu of actions and impulses, and neither should three-dimensional characters be.”)

And then of course there’s the additional component, linked to point #1, that a lot of people refuse to write other characters seeing their need for help or support or offering it even when they do see it, simply because like....they don’t WANT these characters to HAVE help or support.

3) The Intelligence Factor - as in, do they really have it? Both Scott McCall and Dick Grayson are repeatedly and consistently established in their respective canons as being extremely intelligent, and no, not JUST in emotional intelligence. I don’t like sounding like I’m undervaluing that particular form of intelligence, I’m just really irritated by the way people go about saying “oh I do admit they have very high emotional intelligence” like they’re throwing them some kind of a bone. LMAO. No. They both have high emotional intelligence, true, but they’re also extremely intelligent across the board in all other ways. Both are excellent strategists, quick-thinking and repeatedly out-maneuvering even other noted strategists, both display a quick grasp of new information and an ability to see how and where and when to PUT that information to use in practical applications, etc. These are not dumb characters, at ALL.

But fandoms have this weird committment to the idea that only the Smartest Person In The Room REALLY matters, and like, there can only be one of those per room, or like, at most two, so that they can be a matched pair and make kissing noises and then very smart babies, or like, they can be the doting (smart) father and his adored (smartest) son, all others can go home now.

Like, no, that’s not how that works. A room full of geniuses does not suddenly become a room full of ONE genius and a bunch of random and irrelevant cuz they’re dumb non-geniuses the second someone deemed King of the Smarties enters the room. That’s not a thing. Stop acting like that’s a thing, fandoms. Nobody’s intelligence is actually threatened by the presence of more than one character with notable intelligence. Also fuck off with the adoration of notable intelligence like people have more value the more decimal points of pi they can recite off the top of their head. That’s not a more evolved human being, that’s just a nerd. Nerds have value but no more than people who like, chose other life pursuits aside from nerddom.

(Not actually intended as a slight against nerds, just for the record. I say that as both a self-described nerd and also a self-loathing nerd and also lol I’m not a nerd. Look, I’m a very nuanced person okay. I put the complex in complex organism).

But the point here is not just that people are weird about there only being one true genius allowed per ensemble, its that people are WEIRD about how in order to ACTUALLY be smart, you need to like.....accurately match the factory specs for “this is how a smart person looks and behaves.”

And Scott and Dick do not look and behave that way. The sheer number of times - and similar ways - people try to completely discredit the idea they have more than one brain cell by pointing to times they’re being INTENTIONALLY goofy and being like “oh yeah, would a smart person do THAT, hmmmm”.....

Its like...yes? LOL. There is no law that says that a smart person can not be a goofball, or that they are no longer smart if they fulfill a certain quota of actions deemed ‘dopey’ by the official arbiters of smartness.

Similarly the way people like to point at stuff like “my mom buys the groceries” when the writers BEHIND the characters were intentionally trying to play up a comedic moment rather than make a sealed declaration of IQ, and be like, “see, would a smart person be THAT dumb, hmmm?”

First of all, yes, even going off the same canon people try and cite as proof Scott and Dick are too dumb to actually be smart.....you can literally find similarly ‘dumb’ moments for every other TW character....the Sheriff expressed incredulity that Stiles didn’t know what a pendant was, and Lydia was like wtf how are you this dumb at Stiles when he asked if she read the movie the Little Mermaid because he didn’t know there was also a book.....Allison made the same mistake about bestiary as Scott did because the writers were so impressed by that joke they literally had to do it twice....and do not get me STARTED on the number of moments I can point to in comics AND movies AND cartoons where everyone from Bruce to Tim to Jason to Damian and more, like, make utter bonehead moves or utter completely bonehead sentences.

Despite what rumors of my being an ancient eldritch being might have some believe, I did not actually know Albert Einstein personally, but I can still with complete confidence say I GUARANTEE that at more than one point in his life, even he did things that might have been pointed at by time-travelers on vacay as evidence that geez, old-timey smart people were really dumb, huh.

And I think we would all agree that Albert Einstein was actually a very smart man.

But yeah, point is, both Scott and Dick are very smart characters who for a lot of reasons - including personal choice, as in, they don’t really see the appeal in conforming to standards of what a smart person is SUPPOSED to be like (especially when those standards have a weird amount in common with tendencies often described as elitist or condescending or like, having or pertaining to the qualities of an asshole) - like, they just don’t typically behave or conduct themselves in ways that match up with a lot of the assumptions people have for what ‘makes’ a genius or what that’s supposed to look or sound like.

And because they don’t SEEM like they’re that smart, a lot of effort then gets put into insisting that they’re definitely not, and they can’t be, because see look how dumb here and here and here.....which then leeches over into other aspects of the characters and their stories and dynamics, and then combines with the issues resulting from Point 1 and Point 2 and probably two more I’m not thinking of at the moment but are definitely there so that by their powers combined.....fandom summons Captain Dumbass to take over most interactions with these particular characters. And thus repeatedly and insistently engages with these two and their stories only in very dumb, very limited, and VERY annoying ways.

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bondsmagii · 4 years

Note

I mean to ask this genuinely, no hostility, but can you explain how you correlate scp to being in a cult? I dont disagree, I just cant articulate the reasoning as to why I dont disagree, and would like to see where youre coming from with this. Also, could you tag it with cults or cult discussion or something similar, please? Thanks! Have a good day.

OK [cracks knuckles] I will try and keep this as short as possible, but you have to understand I’ve been observing the wiki in the wild literally since its inception, so there is a lot of stuff to consider. anyway let’s buckle up.

[EDIT: after finishing, this is obnoxiously long. sorry. I encourage people to read it though, because yikes.]

I base this theory on a set of guidelines set out for spotting if an organisation might be a cult. generally cults are religiously based; obviously this does not apply here. as far as I’m aware, nobody sees the SCP wiki as a religion (yet). because of this a couple of the points regarding spotting a cult are irrelevant (they concern things like separation from the Church which obviously doesn’t apply) but nearly all of the others (even some religious ones) can apply if we provide context. so without further ado:

Signs You’re In A Cult and How the SCP Wiki Literally Fits Into All of Them

let’s start with the most obvious:

opposing critical thinking

something that has long pissed me off about the SCP wiki has been its complete inability to think critically. staff will literally ban people for criticising them, and the parameters of “criticism” have only grown wider and wider over the years. anything that is the “party line” is sacred; nothing can be improved upon because it’s already perfect, and Staff Knows Best. any policy changes are law, and any dissenting voices are silenced – even among younger staff members (length of service wise, not age wise). I have seen staff put on probation or demoted for arguing against pointless or pedantic policy changes; I have seen people of all levels banned for arguing with staff. if this doesn’t happen right away, arguing with staff over their decisions will absolutely get a target on your back, and they will find a way to ban or demote you as soon as they can.

any criticism on the wiki is frowned upon unless it comes from the Major Staff Members – these are people at the top of the hierarchy who can do no wrong, and as you can imagine, they’ve done some shit. staff has always had a problem with elitism, bullying, and even abusive behaviour (blah blah blah #NotAllStaff, but the ratio is quite concerning) and any criticism of their behaviour or even pointing this fact out is dangerous if you want to remain on the wiki. hell, I know many people who are aware of this who don’t speak up because they’re genuinely scared of retaliation. a lot of staff are really nasty people, and because of this attitude they are beyond criticism.

isolating members and penalising them for leaving

the penalising them for leaving part isn’t strictly accurate, because as far as I know, nobody has ever been bullied or threatened into staying on the wiki. however, I do remember a while back (2011/2012-ish) when the Foundation RP community began to show up on Tumblr, and the wiki began to get a fanbase that wasn’t contained on the site itself. staff were not happy about this and to this day they still constantly try and get a monopoly on all off-site locations. they have an official Offsite Outreach Team (yes, that’s its real name) who “reach out” to communities on other platforms (YouTube, Reddit, Tumblr, etc) and set up an Official Presence there, and then they encourage everyone to use the Official Presence rather than the fan-made ones (which are often more established and better/more consistently run). there have been several off-site spats between staff and the fandom, because they arrive demanding the authority and respect they have on the wiki and get Big Mad when they don’t get it. just recently one (now ex) staff member, djkaktus, went absolutely primal on Reddit and banned a whole bunch of the community for daring to say that they didn’t like the new LGBT logo for pride month (many of these people were LGBT themselves and felt as though it was pandering/putting targets on their backs); several more years ago (2014, I believe?) I myself had a run in with the Outreach Team and it was one fucking hell of a headache that ended in a malicious smear campaign against me, so like. yeah.

as for isolating members, they do this via elitism. the above is an example of it (making everyone feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to the Official Presence), but a huge part of it has always been the elitist attitude prevalent on the wiki. the SCP wiki has high standards for writing (allegedly… I’ve seen some garbage on there tbh, same as any other website) and it uses this to bully and demean its users. criticism of writing is overly harsh but highly encouraged; anyone complaining that it was too cruel (which it often is) is ridiculed for being too sensitive. (staff have been working on this for years, but really nothing has changed; people have just gotten more between-the-lines about it.) this encourages a kind of desperation among new users to “rise up the ranks” and earn respect so they can be the ones dishing out the criticism instead; they will do so and then immediately act in accordance to their status, bullying others how they were bullied and sticking to their own “rank”. brief interruption: staff and bootlickers if you’re reading this and thinking of reblogging to defend yourself, the code word is yeet. if I do not see the word yeet in your reply I will know you have not read this thoroughly and tell me why I should then bother reading anything you have to say.staff themselves is incredibly removed and closed off from the rest of the community; they have a bunch of private chat rooms they hang out in, and inter-dating is common. they don’t tend to interact much outside the flock, and are the definition of cliquey. joining this rank is supposed to be an achievement, but really it’s probably the most dangerous place to be. I have seen so many staff members have literal, clinical mental breakdowns over the strain and treatment they suffer.

(there’s nowhere to neatly slot this in, so: I don’t know how many people have noticed this, but SCP fans, when you spot them on other platforms, are snooty. not casual fans, but those involved with the wiki? I can spot them from a mile away, because whenever the Foundation is mentioned, there they are, acting like they’re part of some cool club. some of these people are innocent (they’re just mimicking the behaviour of other members) but some of them really do seem to think that their site is somehow better than whatever site they’re on, and it’s really creepy to see.)

emphasising special doctrines outside of scripture

obviously this is religion-specific, but with context it can fit. if we take scripture to mean SCP lore, and special doctrines to mean differing headcanons, ideas, writing styles, etc… oh boy.

there’s something that’s often said on the wiki: there is no canon. buddy, there is. yes, you can write whatever you want technically, and you can disregard headcanons you don’t like and you can build on different things and theoretically people can just ignore your shit if they don’t like it, but that is not what happens. there is absolutely a canon, and deviating from it will get you downvoted into oblivion and even personally attacked. people will accuse you of the most ridiculous shit, like desecrating the wiki or betraying the universe or whatever. so where does the emphasising part of this come in?

why, it’s simple! if one of these special doctrines (headcanons or whatever) comes from staff or an Approved Member, it’s fine. go nuts. even if it’s something that anybody else would be absolutely slaughtered for, it’s fine if staff approves. there is no creative freedom on that wiki, and anyone attempting to carve a piece out for themselves will suffer for it. one of my close friends still gets hate for an SCP he wrote featuring heavy headcanons and building on existing lore about a well-known character, and some of this hate is because he didn’t set the fucking article out “how it should be”.

seeking inappropriate loyalty to their leaders

oh boy. staff are god on that website. they’ll deny it, but they know it’s true. many of them are arrogant and, in my opinion, some of them are pathologically narcissistic. they think they are hot shit, and they encourage people on the site to believe the same. a huge majority of users on the wiki are high school students, so 15-18 years old. the next huge group are college-aged, so 19-22 or so. several staff members are in their mid-20s up to 30s, maybe even coming 40s or early 40s now. when you’re in your mid-20s, it’s very easy to look cool to a 15-year-old. it’s very easy to look at a young userbase and convince them that you’re hot shit, and that’s what staff do. they act like it; most users respond to it, and if anyone dissents? see point one.

staff have always had double standards. from the very beginning of staff, they have gotten away with a lot more than the average user. staff have been allowed to bully, ridicule, harass, dismiss, shit upon, and target people with reckless abandon, usually only meeting punishment when other staff members feel too inconvenienced by them. a lot of the time when they’re punished, it’s a lot lighter than it would have been for an average user (a month ban rather than a permaban, for example). this is seen as almost a point of hilarity for a lot of people, who think it’s cool and just a right you get when you’re staff. you know best, you’ve seen some shit – who can blame you for slamdunking a 15-year-old’s first SCP?

the amount of respect and adoration these people demand is ridiculous, and anybody daring to criticise them ends up on a shitlist. staff show up in other areas (Tumblr or Reddit) and expect that same amount of respect, even among people outside of the wiki who might just be casual fans. they act a lot more important than they are, and demand that everyone treats them appropriately. I’ve seen staff members throw shitfits because they didn’t get enough upvotes for their articles, and many staff members’ quality of work declines when they make staff, simply because they know that they’ll get easy upvotes as soon as people realise it’s a staff member who wrote it. downvotes are enough to get you put on a shitlist.

publicly, their word is law. you are not allowed to debate with them in the forums if they put a “stop” on the topic; the same applies in the IRC chat. if staff says “stop”, you will be punished if you mention it again. you are allowed to discuss it with them privately, but I think that’s rather insidious, as staff have been known to twist facts and withhold information before. this gives them a public persona of always being right – and something else that cults do is silence dissenting voices so nobody who might agree can see other people saying the same things and feel encouraged/emboldened.

crossing Biblical boundaries of behaviour

again, we’ll need to contextualise this. if Biblical boundaries are things like sins and all the stuff the Bible says Do Not Do, then in this context these are the wiki rules. staff (and their friends) will constantly cross the rules, as previously mentioned, and they will get away with it.

the wiki rules say “don’t be a dick”. I have caught staff bullying people countless times, and no doubt there’s more I haven’t caught. even out in the open, staff are argumentative, dismissive, rude, intimidating, and oftentimes plain nasty. the wiki rules say “don’t coldpost articles; get feedback”. staff is just out there throwing their shit onto the wiki and expecting an avalanche of upvotes in five minutes Or Else. policies are made that set parameters and staff changes them whenever convenient – for example, the long-standing rule that things that occur off-site are not the responsibility of the Disciplinary Committee (yes, its name.). unless, of course, it’s someone they don’t like. a major staff member bullies somebody on Tumblr? “sorry, it was offsite, not our problem”. someone staff doesn’t like gets into a brief spat on Reddit? banned for harassment.

there are countless examples of this, from small things to major things like bullying, harassment, and even abuse (or enabling of abuse). staff will punish people for transgressions and then turn a blind eye to a fellow staff member committing a transgression that was ten times worse. they have even protected rapists and sexual predators in the past – another kind of behaviour common in cults, because that’s what happens when you combine narcissism and entitlement with total authority.

that’s the main bulk of it

but now the context has been established, here are a few more concerning things I’ve noticed (quickfire now):

cults shit on former members

and the wiki does the same. any staff member that’s grown fed up of the groupthink and the cliquey attitude and how nasty people are or who has been mistreated by staff themselves; any regular user who feels the same and vocally quits? shat upon. lauded as a bastion of whatever is wrong with the wiki. declared an Enemy and rallied against. it is so creepy.

cults use Us vs Them mentality, especially in language

broad declarations establishing a community and a community spirit in the face of adversity are common in cults. appeals to emotion and loyalty are used in a very manipulative way. catastrophising and fearmongering is common, too. I’m seeing this in how the recent drama with the legal issues is being handled. broad appeals to “defend the wiki”, hashtags being encouraged, emotional speeches from staff about how it’s a make or break situation…

…and this is being reflected in the absolutely insane comments people are responding with.

this is a fucking writing website. the above is not a normal reaction at all.

the attitudes of regular users quickly grow concerning

people very quickly get obsessed with the wiki and it defines their lives. they seem to feel as though they owe something to it or they need to serve some kind of a purpose; many people try and “get the word out” and become voluntary spokespeople. they go around practically preaching, and I do not see the users of any other website doing this.

cults want full control over how they’re seen by outsiders

and the scp wiki does the same. as mentioned previously, when the fandom grew and spiralled off the wiki to other sites, staff debated for weeks over what to do. brief interruption the second code is shrek is life.they were not comfortable with the idea of the wiki having an independent fandom, and for years now they have been in constant struggle with offsite communities, trying to gain the same amount of control they have over the wiki. it’s impossible to do so thoroughly, and it’s clearly an annoyance for them.

cult leaders will let “lesser” members do their dirty work for them

and guess what staff does? rather than wade in there and get their hands dirty with internet arguments, they’ll sit back and let regular users dogpile on dissenters and say all the things staff shouldn’t be seen to say in public. note how even if this would violate the bullying policies, they’ll just get a warning so long as staff agrees.

in conclusion

@ everyone on the scp wiki: yall know you’re in a cult, right?

#scp shenanigans #scp foundation #cult discussion #long post #like LONG post #anon #asks

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theelliottsmiths · 4 years

Note

Funniest making of video Rammstein moments?

Well this got... Comprehensive. It devolved somewhat as it got to videos I don't care about as much. This is not what you were expecting, I'm sure, but you asked so please be polite and read it. It's like 2/3 from memory so I'm sure I missed just the funniest thing that's ever been in one. Such is life.

P*ssy (let's see if this work of art gets into the tags):

Schneider being a nasty bastard rat man with his leg drumming

Everything Flake says. All of it.

Richard talking about his double, holding his hands about a foot apart

The hoover

Schneider's little kick at the camera because he's 18 years old at most

Das ist ein Bordell?

The little grass song

Schneider trying not to show that the thinks it's 'absolutely stupid'

Flake don't do anything

Their little weirdo best friend hang out warmups

Rosenrot:

Till practicing the murder scene

Paul singing the Rosenrot guitars as he learns how to flagellate himself. This is one of my fave things why does nobody talk about it?

Till saying he wants to make friends too

Till peeping out of the hood asking why(?) he needs make up

Can we count Richards hat and Flakes hair

Richard asking if they should have knives and won't they kill him?

OLI WITH THE WINE UP HIS SLEEVE. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen no matter how many times I see it.

Everything Flake says

Till, don't defend yourself. Richard, let someone else beat the devil out of Till!

The silence after Flake says he doesn't like pain as much as Till

Sonne:

Talking about how they had to make Paul bigger to play a dwarf

Flake talking about them wanting to name the album Herzeleid and then realising there was, unfortunately, already an album called Herzeleid and they're the ones who made it

Did the American tour influence this album? Nope!

Everyone's reaction to the spanking scene

Robert

When Paul feels the Cain Instinct rising and flings the food at Till, Schneider looking on to see his reaction instead of stopping Paul

Mutter:

No :(

Radio:

Mit seinem Mündchen, so spitz!!!

The little opera battle at the end

The fact that it hasn't got subtitles (though I'd rather it did)

Ausländer:

Schneider's dancing

Till saying the actress could like, permanently kick his arse

Schneider and Oli falling over.

Paul with the tusk

Jeez Schneider's dancing though how is he so many contrary things?

Till trying so so hard not to look at the actress' breasts while she's talking (does anyone know her name I feel gross just saying the actress). He does, but he tried.

Mein Land:

Paul and his pale, delicate Berlin skin

The way it cuts from the beach to Flake in his night makeup, which to me feels like they're implying it's his regular everyday look

Flake not super wanting to be there

The dancing. The only time I'm truly reminded of their ages is when I see them dance.

Richard hugging Jonas, just because of the way he flings himself. I bet he runs up to people and jumps, assuming they'll catch him.

Haifisch:

Paul's little blink thing

...Richards hair.

Till dressed as snow white, spanking what would be Paul

Flake being an amphibian

Richard going off track to mention a woman with 'huge jugs'

Stripped:

Down to the booonnneeee

Ich Tu Dir Weh:

fleischfarrrrrrrrrbenen Drrrrrrrraht lang legst. His speech is so rounded, like the bubble writing every teenaged girl uses on posters

The whole mouth piercing story, really. I don't think it's as big of a deal as they do though? It was bigger than a standard piercing and he wasn't very smart about it but it was pretty much just a cheek piercing he treated poorly, he didn't remove a limb. I used to spray stuff when I had a lip piercing so that's just understandable, relatable content.

Ziggy Stardust

Flake saying he's being slandered

Paul's face the entire time he talks about the trucks

Mann Gegen Mann:

Is it weird that I think Schneider's lil drumming noises are funny in the background? They're so small.

Benzin:

Oli really doesn't look like Oli in the truck this isn't funny but that was a strange time huh

The guy losing his mind over the crash scene.

Richards driving face. I remember seeing it as a kid and it was just as funny then. Or maybe that's why I think it's funny

You're the driver, you can't be lying out there!

Keine Lust:

Flake wishing he could be that fat

His safely saddled pirouette

The boys cackling at each other when they see the make up and prosthetics

Schneiders giggle when he says it's his idea. Okay so this is more cute than funny, but have you ever noticed that he doesn't really have a medium laugh? It's either a polite huff or an avalanche of hysterical giggles

Schneider looking at himself in the mirror so seriously idk it just is funny

Paul singing in the makeup chair

Till getting into his suit

Schneider's face is falling to pieces but that's irrelevant!

Schneider peeling himself. Hallo!

Ohne Dich:

Flake insulting Till, Till saying he's going to really make him sweat because of how rude he was. Paul taking the piss out of Flake in the interview.

Did you expect me to run with you? How did you arrive at that?

Tills little mm after he says the sweat thing

He's alive, Schneider, come make it a trio!

Tills small mountain song

Amerika:

Okay mini rant time please bear with me I need to get this out. That guy when Till is getting taped into the astronaut gear? He told Till the Donald Sutherland penis zip story, yet when Till talks about it (using the name, pointing to his dick and zipping) the guy looks completely clueless. It's so American? How could he not get that that's the story Till was telling? Anyway it's funny because he zipped the penis of Donald Sutherland with it so... His boss, his boss did.

Again, everything Flake says. The urinals!

Paul saying their message is Fleisch, Fleisch and Ja and Ich Will, but Amerika was being so annoying that they had to make an exception

Richard with the arcade machine

The director says it's hard for them to play double speed because it's like a punk concert. They... They were all in punk bands. Maybe not Oli (I have no idea what his band was, someone said folk fusion to me once?) but the rest of them?

Paul's little history lesson in his lil nerd outfit

Rammstein created the conspiracy theory that America never went to the moon

Richard re: 10 litres of orange juice

America doesn't exist in East Germany. Why does every country have one country people think doesn't exist? Finland is a popular choice.

Mein Teil:

Moustache.

Schneider's giggling over being the perpetrators mother. Why was he so excited/embarrassed to pretend to be Armin Meiwes' mother?

Stop complaining!

Paul stomping on the suit. Am I just easily amused?

Schneider will just be a bit more woman

Oli's freaky faces

Flake talking about Swedish TV

Mein Herz Brennt:

Till trying to be diplomatic about the Spanish schedule. At least the walls were burning!

Paul being a nasty little thief

The cones.

Paul's reaction to the cones. The giggles.

Till talking to the child!

Oli with the kids when he's in his net. You know what meme that's like, fishermen talking and one gets caught in the net and they're like is it just me or is Dave being hot right now? Yeah that's all I can think then I see his net.

Paul talking about the captive costumes and shouting at Schneider through the cone

Richard having dreadlock flashbacks

The. Finger monster thing where it's like Ta Da

Feuer Frei:

Paul Kebab

Homemade Star Trek video. Paul, please dig it out.

Ich Will:

Paul in the corridor

I really like the way Paul says DDR. Its not funny, I just need to point it out I am legally obligated. Small and cute little country

Paul talking about the cameras killing them and being dramatic

Flake talking about being popular in Iceland

Mein Ohr!

Links 234:

Are there subtitles because of the accent?

That's it, I don't like this one very much at all

Du Hast:

When they forget to tell the fire boy he can cool off

Engel:

Schneider: Paul was upset we tucked him away behind the drums where he could do nothing, he loves meddling and offering his opinion

Paul: *rants about everything wrong with the video* (Paul is correct in every criticism)

Du Riechst So Gut 98:

Till being shy kissing a woman is very funny to me

Seeman:

All of it. The hair, the set, the costumes. Everything. Their reactions to all of those things. What on earth.

Poor Paul talking about the haircuts as if he's ever had more than one decent haircut in his life. Two at most.

Till seems content with it but maybe he's just being diplomatic.

Schneider, me and Oli just fool around in the background and crowd the picture with too many people

B... Bird head. Plague doctor.

Du Riechst So Gut 95:

I love how they talk about it but even though the video itself is super funny, the making of? Not so much.

Schneider saying they wanted to appear aggressive and masculine, screen cuts to what is essentially a gay p*rno/tampon advert

Of course, we had to rub oil into out bodies. Of course.

Till talking about how he layered sunglasses and got the slashes metal things to help. Is it funny or am I just tired now?

Rammstein (I always forget this exists, it's so hard to find it):

Ah yes, first video, let's ask David Lynch. Why not?

#man is till cute in thr benzin interview #my one regret is being too small to lend him my hoodie and or t shirt #rammstein #flake is cute in the keine lust making of look at his hair and lil hat #me rambling #did #schneider tuck for mein teil #i censored myself and itll probably still not work brcause penis is in here #meh probably a good thing

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momo-de-avis · 4 years

Note

1, 3, 10, 15, 20, 21 and 25?

hello friend!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Currently, what I am just wrapping up is the thing I want to narrate on voice (yeah... imagine that) that I had locked up for AGES because I knew where I was going and got stuck mid-way unsure how the hell how I was getting there. It’s sort of light horror magical realism about dealing with trauma and recovery, and I’m happy because JUST recently I passed the checkpoint of THIS WAS THE PART I COULDN’T GET THROUGH! I GOT IT! I REACHED DENOUEMENT BITCH!

Also, it was really hard to write, I won’t lie. And it reached the point of weird. Not fantastical weird, but weird to me. I hope I manage to capture that with my voice 🥴

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Honestly? I don’t think there really is one... anymore. I do everything chronologically. Unfortunately, I can’t do that thing writers often advise, to leave blanks to fill in later. If I do that, this damn ADHD brain will NEVER AGAIN bother itself to do it. If I don’t have the motivation to do it now, it will never happen. I have also learned to trust my instincts: if it’s too boring to write, don’t write it at all. If it’s too boring to write, it will feel too boring to read. Just straight up skip it, nobody cares. Reduce it to a sentence, that��s it. So I end up getting to the exciting-scenes-I-really-want-to-do pretty fast.

Also, like... I love experimenting with so many genres I don’t think there’s one I REALLY would like to try but never did? I would like to do better, much better, but never actually dipped my pen in it? I don’t know, man, I don’t think there’s one big ass scene I haven’t tried that I can think of.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Re-read what I last wrote. Always. This works as both a quick revision of my last writing and a way to get in the mood and also to remind myself of what last happened, because I forget everything except the head God gave me and which I carry on my shoulders.

Set the music, or the ambient sound.

Stare at the blinking cursor for five minutes.

Start writing.

Erase a whole paragraph.

Write another 3 paragraphs.

Stop for 10 to 25 minutes to check if the correct usage in this context should be “white-out”, “liquid corrector” or simply “corrector”, and then it turns out I don’t even use the goddamn thing anyway.

Write another 3 pages.

Coffee and cigarette break.

5h have passed. Time is an illusion.

Oooooh, Discord messages! Everyone is talking shit about their relatives, why not make another 40 minute break for the chance of some juicy gossiping?

What do you MEAN, 1h has passed?

You have another hour before dinnertime. Why not get furiously in the mood and just miraculously gain every goddamn inspiration point lost in the previous 7h you were trying to fish for brain cells in the atmosphere? So furiously type out 10 pages that, once you revise in about 3h later, are full of typos, missing a THOUSAND words, and good luck understanding what the hell you meant with all those broken sentences and so many goddamn commas and M dashes.

But ah, completion.

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Gonna be real honest here. Summaries. I’m not so bad with titles. Mostly because I use the same principle for them that I did with academic papers: only bother myself with those after everything is done by pulling a sentence or an idea straight out of the text of the source of inspiration. But ask me to SUMMARIZE THE DAMN THING? It’s an hour and a half of me stammering bullshit punctuated with a million “AND THEN--” and nobody understands a damn thing.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I do a LOT of repetitions I don’t think people pick up on. I mean, literal transliterations of chunks of texts, either from a previous page to the end, or from an existing source to my text as like, an homage I guess. With this one I’ve been working on, I literally repeat entire passages but they’re so far apart they’re hard to tell (at least for people like me, who Have No Braincells), but there’s a reason it happens and it also has to do with the narrative too.

This is completely irrelevant but I am going to say anyway, for Wordtober, for the Prompt uhhhhhh I think it was Legend I did this story about a bunch of pirates who go after the legend of Lover’s Cove and it’s from the perspective of a pirate named Largo. That’s actually a character from something major I’ve been developing, and at the very end he meets a fiery-red-haired woman who happens to be Anne Bonny, I just thought it would be funny to explain how they meet, and also, Largo is a reference to Largo La Grande from Monkey Island because that guy is so funny and I love Monkey Island to death. Nobody cares but this matters to me 😔

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

I’m boring, so none. I’ve worked on film before, did a couple of music videos (yes...), and right now I’ve been attempting illustration but LOL. Right now I’m stuck with writing only

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Definitely the process of creating. Even the revision part is fun for me. I don’t know this process is fun, but I love it. Just... birthing something from scratch and shaping it into something real, whole, complete, is immensely enjoyable. These days, is the only way I manage to get out of the world and feel something akin to... peace, quiet, you know. I don’t even particularly enjoy the researching part, though I very easily get way too lost in it, don’t get me wrong, but the creation part is just so compelling man...

#thank you friend and sorry this got long 😔#Anonymous

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mbti-notes · 4 years

Note

I chose a scientific related uni because of people's advices. They used to tell me I was so smart I could do anything and this particular uni would give me great job opportunities. I had no idea what to do anyway, so I went for it. What I was mostly happy about was the fresh start and the possibility to make new friends. In this, I succeded, but with exams I had a lot of difficulties. Science is based on logic, which is something I found out I can't use very well. All my friends could - they[..]

[con’t: have been passionate about science for their whole life - and I started developing an inferiority complex. All my interests looked useless now since nobody could relate and I slowly lost all of them, forced myself to replace them with new ones. Everyone around me was referencing different things, valuing different abilities, and I really liked them and wanted to be their friend. I wanted to understand them. With time, I became obsessed with passing exams and getting every single detail right. I wanted to prove them (and myself) that I wasn’t stupid like they thought, that I could be brilliant in science as well. But everyday I was changing and becoming a parody of myself, losing my energy, motivation, happiness, imagination. Eventually I lost all of my friends (for different reasons though) and stopped going to uni, still studying to pass exams - but on my own. Since I was alone, I started going out with my boyfriend (I met him at uni) more: everytime we were together I would notice how good he was at science and how many things he knew, how enthusiastic he could be about the world around him e all the abilities (math, logic and even things that were not related to uni) he had that I didn’t have. I started hating him. I forced myself to study and be better, but not without crying and feeling inferior at his every word. Months passed and I was more and more convinced I was stupid. Even if my boyfriend was so good, though, he was thinking of leaving uni. I did something really bad, that I’m still ashamed of: I encouraged him to leave. I think it’s because I didn’t want him to continue studying and get even better than he was at the time. I wanted a chance to surpass him. I feared people talking to us and judging me as the “stupid one” and him as the “brilliant one”. After some time, though, he was changing his mind again and wanted to stay, but I insisted and asked him to PLEASE go somewhere else. I was crying, shouting,so desperate and depressed for how stupid I thought I was that he accepted just to stop my suffering. He changed school, but it’s so clear he doesn’t like it. He forces himself to study, but has lost motivation. I’m studying just when I need to, not trying to be brilliant anymore, waiting for uni to end (just a bunch of exams and it’ll be over). I’m still stressed, but now because I’m angry at myself for what I did. I was selfish and did not only ruin my boyfriend’s career, but my entire life. I feel like I don’t have passions anymore, or a sense of humor, or even the ability to have fun. I never have anything to say, I don’t like anything, I try to get interested to old stuff but it’s for “stupid people” now - at least, according to my mind. After all this time even my boyfriend has become depressed. I no longer see the enthusiasm he used to have, he’s always sad and bored and hates his life. He’s too afraid to come back to my uni, he says it’s better this way and he doesn’t want me to feel inferior again. He’s seeing a psychologist and I’ll probably join him soon, but I’m so afraid… I’m sure they’ll tell me it’s all my fault, that I need to accept I’m stupid and inferior if compared to him and change uni. Being good at this is my dream now… how do I stop screwing things up? How do I solve them? Is there a way? Will I feel inferior to him for anything he does FOREVER? I miss the old days when we used to laugh together, with no comparison ever… now we don’t even know what to tell each other. I know it’s all my fault. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I wish I could change the past, but I can’t. I just wanted people to like me as much as they liked him. I wanted to stop feeling like I was the stupid one. Please, don’t judge me. I’m already doing negative self-talking everyday. Thanks if you will answer. (INFP)]

I have already addressed similar questions before: mbti-notes.tumblr.com/post/189237158737. You are in extreme Te grip, please read the tags and study guides about how to get out of inferior grip, there’s already plenty of information and I don’t want to waste time repeating it.

I’m not here to judge anyone, I frankly don’t care enough to judge. You judge yourself harshly and this extends into fearing judgment from others. You’ve gotten yourself into quite a mess because you did not respect yourself and your feelings at the start. How can you feel good about yourself when you keep disrespecting yourself? How can you treat others well when you don’t even know how to treat yourself well? You kept trying to force yourself into a situation in which you clearly did not belong, and your insecurities have become so large as to hurt the ones you purport to love.

The only way out is to properly reckon with your bad choices and correct/ameliorate the things you have done wrong. Until you do that, you will suffer from constant guilt and self-hatred that will impede any efforts to better your life via Ne development. Mistakes haunt you until you atone for them - you need proper closure to move forward. You should start with your boyfriend, because he is the person that you have hurt most other than yourself. Be completely honest with him about what you have done to him, as you explained it to me. It doesn’t matter what he decides to do so long as you take responsibility for the pain you have inflicted upon him. Be a mature adult. Confess fully and apologize sincerely. Let him decide what to do with his life. Stop trying to influence him, you have proven that you are incapable of caring for him, so give him space to engage in proper self-care.

With regard to academics, you’ve stubbornly stuck it out this long so you probably feel like you should finish. It is your choice as to whether you would like to finish or switch tracks - I cannot say anything about that. The only thing I can tell you is that Fi doms will never feel satisfied as long as they are doing something they don’t believe in and aren’t passionate about. If you truly care about yourself and want to get your life back in order, then you need to spend time actually caring for yourself and exploring what it is you want to do properly (instead of trying to force yourself into a career like a square peg into a round hole, just because someone somewhere suggested it long ago).

What other people do is irrelevant. This is your life to live as you see fit. Even if you manage to finish your degree, do you really think that this career path is the path to genuine fulfillment in YOUR life? If not, then correct course for the sake of your psychological well-being. If it is, then you need to get a better perspective on it because you seem to suffer from debilitating perfectionism that is only going to leave you in self-hatred. Until you engage in proper self-care, you are going to keep suffering from insecurity. I strongly recommend that you get professional help for serious self-esteem problems and inferiority complex. I have already recommended books on the resources list about self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-compassion.

You can get advice from anyone anywhere about what to do, it won’t matter until you step up and take responsibility for your decisions. Changing your life is actually as simple as making your decisions differently (which requires exercising Ne and envisioning better possibilities). If you don’t change how you make decisions, then your default mode is to make the same mistake again and again in an endless loop. The choice is yours. It’s your life and you are the one who is responsible for making the change.

Think on what kind of person you want to be and work to be it. You keep trying to be a person who is not you, and then you wonder why you’re unhappy? You cannot find happiness in self-violence. A person who is truly “worthy” is a person who nurtures their virtue and contributes something positive and beneficial to the world around them. You have to make the choice to be good and do better. You have to understand that the choices you have been making consistently lead you into being your worst self, which completely undermines your underlying intention to be better. You have tried hard to excel, I applaud that, but your energy would be better spent to nurture your character rather than your skills at this point. No matter what technical skills or knowledge you have, a bad moral character will never allow you to use them properly, will it?

#infp #te grip #self esteem #self worth #atonement #ask

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misformarvel · 6 years

Text

Aristocrat! AU P. 4

Summary: idk you’ve to read, lol.

A/N: sorry for being a lazy fuck and take so long to write this and for making it so short. I’m not having the best of days so maybe I’ll take a break from writing this, or anything really. Is not definitive but I need a pause.

Warnings: I’m not sure, this is weird. Maybe there’s some cursing, as usual.

- “I’m not sure how it happened but I fell in love with Y/N mother. And I don’ feel comfortable knowing this is part of his plans to become even more powerful. I don’t want to be involved with it anymore”.

- “I’m glad your marriage with Y/N doesn’t represent a heavy load for you anymore, she’s a good person”. She talked to me again but her tone remained distant and cold.

- “You’re not going to help me with this? Not even for her, she cares about you. You’re like a mother to her for god's sake”.

Rage coming in waves, my mother’s indifference pushed me to the limit. I needed to leave that house, even when I was so tired of getting away. Besides, what would I do? If I tell Y/N my father forced me to woo her to ensure our marriage how’d she react. Now my father got the power to tell her and even when the wedding would take place anyways, Y/N will hate me and I’ll never get her back.

It was pouring rain. I walked along London streets without a place to go, people stared at me as if I was a kook, all damped and looking to nowhere. Soon I realize where I was. Standing at the door of an old pub I used to frequent when I got tired of fighting with my father and needed a place to hide away. Just like now, just as pathetic.

I entered to the dark, smokey little place and sat at the bar. I was surprised at how nothing changed in that place, it been yonks since the last time I was there. Something about everything still being the same comforted me, especially when I saw the young lad who used to carry me away when completely pissed and out of my mind I was unable to come back home on my own.

- “Hello mate, d’ya remember me?”

-”Tom?” the young lad throw away the dishcloth he was using to clean up the table to greet me with a vehement handshake. “God man, we thought you might be dead by now, no offence”. His sense of humour was also the same. we giggled and he gave me a pint of ale. “First one on me, but you’ve to paid for the next, I know you got the money”.

I spent hours catching up with Jacob, talking about all the crazy stuff I’ve experienced in the two years and a half I was away from London.

- “I didn’t know what to do, where to put my hands you know. And it’s not like I’m an impressionable person but, a kid, you know, we were bringing a fucking kid into this world right inside of a bus”.

-”Nah mate, you’re making up this one. You couldn’t assist a delivered in a bus, is like one of those bad medical dramas’ scenes” Jacob shrieked. I nodded, letting a hiccup out I continue my story.

-”I swear to god I did. Sure, I wasn’t the only one helping but the woman was sat beside me, I had no option”.

-”Good you were sober”, Jacob and I made a toast for it. “Hot blond girl at your right has her eyes glued on you since she arrived mate, you should give it a shot”.

-”Shame. I’m not a free man”.

-”No way man! Did d’you tied the knot? Who’s the poor lady?”

- “We’re not married yet. Engaged”.

-”Don’t tell me is the girl your dad wanted you to marry when you left”.

I nodded in response. It wasn’t the reason I left, but what motivated me to do something terrible, and that forced me to leave.

- “We get to know each other this summer. She’s a keeper.”

-”Pfff, really? Lady Y/N? Do you know your future wife calls the King uncle? It’s a catch man. And no offence mate but your bird is fit”.

- “There’s no offence man, here’s to that”.

It was good to met someone nice and chill as Jacob. It really helped me with the tension I carry from sharing the last days with my parents. Talk to him about Y/N made me realize how much I missed her. And is not as I didn’t feel it before, but the tension I’ve been living in the house kept my mind busy in trying to not commit a parricide or something like that.

I headed back to the house, even when I knew it was a terrible idea and I might have another argument with my parents. When I got there I found Lord Marlborough’s car a the entrance. It wasn’t strange at all, but I’d really wished it wasn’t true.

Time goes by slowly in the Marlborough’s estate. I missed London, I missed going out with the twins, help Mrs Holland planning her events, go shopping with Laura, taking Nana to have tea in the best places in the capital. But now the thing I missed the most was, certainly, spending time with Tom. And he hasn’t even called me, I feel stupid when I think about it.

Here everything is boring and I’m being forced to be a polite host of two people I loathe. Even when I asked him to leave the palace and go back to his flat on campus, Harrison stayed along with his repugnant uncle. Lord Devonshire walked around my estate as it was his own, giving orders to Nana and the rest of the service. His cheeky smile gave me nausea, his attempts to give me a good impression only makes me dislike him more. The worst part is he seems to gain Nana’s affection, talking to her about how close my mother and his used to be, and his memories of the palace from when he was a little child and my mother and father -childless by the moment- invited him to spend the summers here.

Oxford is not that bad after all. I’m still not having “friends” but I don’t need them. After all, I have the twins and Laura, they may not be here but we’re constantly on the phone. it is jolly evident none of us could leave the boarding school days behind. University was my refuge from the hostile air I breathed back home. I’m focused on my studies and pleased to find politics even more interesting than I thought, after all, and even when I don’t want to think about it, one day my father will be gone and I’ll have to take his place.

I was still very intrigued by the names in Thomas’ note and the connection it could have with his expulsion from the University. It didn’t surprise me at all to find that the lads who hang out with Augustus Remington were on the list as well. Cassius Hiponilema, an assistant in my “Introduction to jurisprudence” course, was on the list too. It did surprise me, he seemed to be a quite nice person, not someone who belongs to a “pit of snakes” as Tom said. At the moment I have four names of a list of nine. Augustus Remington, Alloicious Harden-Smith, Ben Bradley and Cassius. To be completely honest, the only weird thing I found on Cassius is the interest he has in Harrison. The man is all over him and is not like Harrison is the brightest student, in fact, when we were still friends he confessed to me it bored him to death. I don’t know, maybe he’s gay and he just fancies Harrison, which wouldn’t be weird because he might be a liar and an asshole, but he got the looks.

I don’t talk to him in our classes, but I find out I’ve to pretend everything is fine between us in my house, to avoid Nana’s inquisition. So, when we’re having dinner with his uncle and Harriet, Harrison and I talk about things that have happened through the day as if we spent it together. He even laughs at my jokes and includes me in his stories. It disconcerts me how natural it feels. I’m still mad at him but I think I might be too harsh on him for what he did. He was down to tell me “the full story” and I just wanted to kick him out of my estate. He wanted to be my friend and I prefered to stay alone, sneaking in the shadows to solve a mystery no ones really cares about anymore -as in nowhere else, Tom was completely irrelevant in Oxford and nobody even remembered what happened-. I’m getting tired to be angry. I’m getting tired to be alone.

Tags: @@clairesrainbow , @tomhollandimangines , @kyritha

#aristocrat! tom au #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #Jacob Batalon #harry holland #sam holland #Laura Harrier

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keyofjetwolf · 7 years

Text

Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 39

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

On the one hand, when I started this act today, I thought I was still in the Infinity Arc, which was bound and determined to live up to its name. I was not! I am even closer to the conclusion of the manga than I realized!

On the other hand, I’m in the Pegasus arc.

Dear god help me, I’m in the Pegasus arc.

We open with the Inners, but don’t get excited, this will be the last time you’ll see them for the next hundred pages. They’re gathered together at a park to watch the eclipse. Where’s Usagi, you ask? At another park somewhere else with Mamoru and Chibi-Usa, because if they were there, we might feel for a second that Mamoru was not the center of the universe, and can’t possibly risk it. CAN’T MINGLE WITH THE HELP YOU KNOW.

That little girl I posted earlier wishes to become an actress, and Minako whirls around, Kill Bill sirens blaring. "My dream is to become an idol!” she says to her friends for what is almost certainly the tenth time that hour. However this prompts the others to say their dreams (PS: THIS IS THE DREAM ARC) and they are every bit as obvious and lacking in character development as you’ve come to expect.

“I want to be a bride!” Mako says as I cry inside. "And then maybe have a flower shop or cake shop, but mostly bride!”

“I wish to become an elegant doctor!” Ami does not care that I am crying harder. Not brilliant. Not genius. Not lifesaving. ELEGANT. AMI MIZUNO’S PREFERRED ADJECTIVE IS ELEGANT AND I AM ON PAGE TWO OF THIS ACT

As for Rei?

While you will pry International Success Life Rei Hino from me absolutely never because my grip will only become stronger in death, fair enough, but for fuck’s sake, AMI ALREADY SAID ELEGANT REI I REFUSE TO BELIEVE YOUR EGO WOULDN’T DEMAND ANOTHER DESCRIPTOR.

Meanwhile, at No Senshi Allowed Park, Mamoru doubles over with chest pains. FINALLY SOMEONE HAD THE CORRECT DREAM. Unfortunately it passes quickly, just in time for the Dead Moon Circus to arrive on their fucking giant flying stingray shark pirate ship what the fuck??

THINGS ONLY GET MORE HORRIFYING

Of course if one thing is going to be consistent for me from the anime to the manga, it’d be how much the Dead Moon Circus creeps me the fuck out. OF COURSE THAT.

The Circus disappears then, and I’ll give the manga credit where it’s due here, it doesn’t have thirty fucking installments of no one seeing the bloody ten block giant floating circus tent.

Back to Peon Park, the Senshi also saw the circus arrive, and this apparently freaked Phobos and Deimos out so badly they had to to fly to Rei on her day off and bring her a newspaper and some feathers AND A FUCKING TAROT CARD ARE YOU KIDDING ME THESE GUYS NOT ONLY FOUND REI’S TAROT DECK BUT SORTED THROUGH THE CARDS TO FIND THE EXACT ONE TO BEST COMMUNICATE THEIR MEANING MEANWHILE I CAN’T GET MINA TO BRING ME THE GODDAMN BALL WHEN SHE WANTS ME TO THROW IT

Armed with this information, Rei, my beloved, light of my life, favourite character for over twenty years, concludes

Really, Rei. Really.

The Senshi rush to Usagi, though not one of them wonders why they bother, and that’s the real tragedy in this.

At the other, better park, for characters the author actually cares about, Mamoru thinks traffic will be bad getting home and suggests they wander around the shopping district instead. Hey look, there’s a sale on! This doesn’t seem strange at all!

Nobody thinks to mention the timing of this sale or arrival of an imminent circus alongside THE FLYING SHARK PIRATE CIRCUS SHIP, so maybe I was too quick with my credit-giving a minute ago. They wander around the stalls and shops, until something catches Usagi and Chibs’ eyes.

HMM I WONDER IF THESE WILL BECOME IMPORTANT

They convince Mamoru to buy them at $100 for the pair, which breaks down, in overall kaleidoscopic entertainment value, to about $100 a minute. As Usagi and Chibs rapidly burn through that minute, the Senshi show up, relieved to find everyone okay. “Should we join them?” Ami asks. “God no,” replies Minako, dragging everyone off to do jello shots for the rest of the issue.

God knows how many hours later, it’s 5pm and everything’s still just as packed as it was this morning, making Mamoru’s whole thing about having trouble getting home particularly dense because everyone’s fucking HERE and not on the road. But everything’s about to get a thousand times stupider.

Usagi says that it’s getting late and maybe Chibi-Usa shouldn’t go home until tomorrow. I was busy trying to puzzle out what that meant, like sleep-over in the park? No, no, she means home to the future, to which Mamoru says:

IT’S A THOUSAND YEARS IN THE FUTURE MAMORU THE DAY YOU’RE ON IN 1995 IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE 30TH FUCKING CENTURY WHAT SENSE DOES THIS EVEN MAKE

AND THEN CHIBS JUST MUDDIES IT EVEN FURTHER

HOW DOES

WHAT DOES THAT MATTER WHAT SENSE DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE THIS IS SO NONSENSICAL AND I’M LEGIT IRRITATED ABOUT IT

And then it’s Usagi’s turn to just make shit up as she goes.

SHE WON’T BE LATE IT’LL BE THE SAME FUCKING DAY BECAUSE IT’S A THOUSAND YEARS IN THE FUTURE AND THAT IS INDEPENDENT OF WHAT DAY IT IS IN THE PRESENT TIME IS NOT LINEAR FOR YOU PEOPLE AND YOU KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR DAUGHTER FROM THE FUTURE

And I can’t even see why there’s all this bending over backwards trying to explain any of this away when plot coherency is something Takeuchi wrestles with on a daily basis about as much as she does character development.

SPEAKING OF

Cut to Mamoru’s apartment. Chibs is getting ready for bed.

Recognize the mirror?

JUST AS WELL BECAUSE THE MANGA COULDN’T CARE LESS IF YOU DO OR DON’T

FOUR TAGS WITH SQUIGGLY LABELS FOR MAMORU’S SHIT

THE PJS OF WHICH WILL BE MENTIONED IN-TEXT AT LEAST ONCE MORE IN THIS SCENE

FUCK ALL FOR MICHIRU

IT MANAGED TO BE EVEN WORSE THAN “MICHIRU WAS ALSO THERE” BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN KNOW MICHIRU IS ALSO THERE UNLESS YOU ALREADY KNOW IT

WE DIDN’T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE MORE DISMISSIVE OF MICHIRU BUT THE MANGA FOUND A WAY

Meanwhile Usagi is lying to Ikuko about sleeping over at Mako’s, and I’d like to think Usagi cleared that with Mako first, but that would’ve required thinking about her, and there’s just no way. The next three hundred pages are basically Mamoru and Chibi-Usa and I’d summarize what happened but I’ve punished myself enough today, and also NOTHING HAPPENED.

Over to the Dark Moon Circus, where we don’t begin with the Trio but with the Quartet.

Not that I expect anyone to have any personality. And just as well! Here’s a sample.

PALLAPALLA HATES BORING INTERCHANGEABLE DIALOGUE

Chibi-Usa has finally fallen sleep. I know what this means. I feel my mind, my soul, my very sense of self trying to shrink away, but to no avail. It comes.

AAAAHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

For relief, please join me in imagining for a moment a Sailor Moon SuperS revival featuring, as Pegasus, BoJack Horseman.

Pegasus and Chibs fly over Tokyo and then he gives her a little bell so she can summon him whenever she wants. In return?

CHIBI-USA TSUKINO I KNOW YOU READ A LOT DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS IN ENOUGH STORIES AND FAIRY TALES TO WANT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS IMMEDIATELY YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THAT YOUNG LADY THIS IS HANSEL AND GRETEL WITH WINGS

The next morning, Usagi and Mamoru wake up and realize they were both dreaming about Chibi-Usa and her new horse friend. Nothing about this alarms them anywhere near the correct degree in this humble Jet Wolf’s opinion. Mamoru has another partial heart attack but again does not die because I never get what I want. They realize Chibs left without them, and if I were Chibs, I’d do the same.

In the park (probably The Creator Loves Us And Only Us National Park), Chibs digs in her pockets for her Time Key, and I know Chibi-Usa is concerned about wanting to be an adult and all, but she has literally never been more hashtag relatable.

She pulls it out, but also pulls out the bell. GASP IT’S REAL. She thinks about Pegasus and how creepy he is and how she should never talk to him again and then she shatters the bell on the pavement. IF ONLY. She also thinks about her mother, specifically how she said “Leave and don’t come back until you’re pretty and useful.” YOU THINK I’M KIDDING I AM NOT KIDDING

Chibs’ first action as queen? ABOLISH MOTHER’S DAY

She wonders if she’s okay to go home yet, but when she uses the Time Key, it rejects the shit out of her, so guess not. Mamoru and Usagi run up and Pegasus appears again for no particular reason that I can figure out. Then there’s a tiger attack (NO REALLY) and everyone runs off, except for Mamoru, who once again is taunting me with his imminent death that never comes.

Usagi and Chibs try to transform, but can’t, because they don’t have all the Senshi around to power them up. “God, what a stupid requirement anyway, like I ever see those guys,” says Usagi, and so she just makes a new transformation happen because that is a thing she can do.

The Quartet are behind this attack, and Usagi and Chibs try to fight them, but are apparently powerless without a new toy from Bandai, so it’s marketing to the rescue! Chibs calls for Pegasus and begs him for a new weapon. He complies!

AND I FUCKING SCREAMED. While Usagi and Chibs power up on their own -- which I actually thought was a better turn from the anime for a second -- all it functionally did was change their outfits. They don’t even try to fight or attack, I presume because they know they can’t, so while they look neat, they’re powerless and helpless until they beg Pegasus for help. Until Pegasus arrives to give them power.

Power that came to them BY WAY OF MAMORU ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW

So one of my biggest sources of anger and frustration with SuperS? ACTUALLY IMPROVED ON THE MANGA.

Also the Moon Gorgeous Sex Toy is sentient and can talk so. Yeah.

Back at the Dead Moon Circus, Zircon is all “The people of the White Moon reincarnated, god I fucking hate that,” so the Quartet respond by turning their tiger, hawk, and fish into, you guessed it.

They also see Chibs and Usagi and wonder what their dreams are.

APPARENTLY THE ANSWER IS ONE OF THE WORST EPISODES OF THE WORST SEASON OF THE ANIME JESUS WEPT WHEN WILL I KNOW REST

#of course this was a manga story OF COURSE IT WAS #JW reads Sailor Moon #sm manga dream #sm manga act 39 #jet wolf versus the manga #jet wolf summarizes the manga #a novel by jet wolf #THIS SUMMARY NEVER WANTED TO END

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itispossibleihaveissues · 7 years

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Another Perfect Catastrophe -5

AUTHOR: Mikimoo PAIRING: JayDick RATING: Mature

WARNINGS: Non Consensual drug use, Non Consensual touching, Non Consensual kissing, humour, slight mayhem

SUMMARY: Dick goes undercover as himself in order to catch a gang of international thieves. Jason reluctantly tags along as his long suffering bodyguard. During the ensuing mayhem they get to know each other again and build a few bridges.

Thank you to burkesl17 for the beta!

Notes: An embarrassingly long time ago, the amazing and very, very talented Pentapus invited me to do a reverse bang style exchange, and drew me an amazing prompt. I have no idea how this story was the one that emerged from the many options I had, but such is the creative process I guess! Anyhoo, many thanks to Pentapus for both encouragement and patience, and of course the incredible art! (which will be included at the end of the appropriate chapter)

Chapters: 1, 2, 3 4

GO HERE FOR THE AMAZING ART BY THE AWESOME PENTAPUS!

He found them in the small sitting room. Dick was sprawled in a chair, glassy eyed and sweating while Sofia unbuttoned his shirt. He didn’t look like he minded, but he also looked completely wasted on whatever they had given him.

Jason paused to assess, moving too soon might not be the best option, but waiting while they molested Dick was not an easy choice to make, and went against every instinct he had. He grit his teeth as Sofia tugged on Dick's hair, manoeuvring him for a kiss. The new position of his face meant Jason was now in his line of sight and he suddenly attempted to sit up, dislodging the girl with ease. “Jay! I’m on drugs!” he said, happily.

Thanks Dick. Who needs the element of surprise anyway? Unfortunately, Celia seemed to agree and she stepped forward and pressed the muzzle of a small but powerful handgun to Dick’s sweaty temple. His eyes crossed as he tried to look at it. The expression was daft and annoyingly adorable. Jason had clearly lost all control over his hormones on this trip.

“Don’t even think about it, Jase,” Celia said. “Hands on your head and step forward.”

Jason sighed and did as he was told. He could still gain the upper hand in a couple of moves, but he needed to play it carefully as Dick was clearly out of his mind and might accidentally stumble into a bullet if they started shooting. Better to play it safe.

“Listen, Ms Denbury. I don’t give a shit what you do, you want to rob him? Blackmail the old man? Go for it, I’m not going to stop you. We'll do what you say.”

“Your cooperation would benefit us both,” she said, pleased. “Put these cuffs on.” She chucked him a pair of simple handcuffs. They really were ridiculously sloppy. He cuffed his own wrists in front of himself and rested his hands casually in his lap. He could wait for the right moment.

“Hello, Jason!” Dick said, as Sofia slipped his shirt over his shoulders, revealing the myriad of scars across his torso.

“Whoa,” Jack said.

Sofia ran her fingers across a healed gash that bisected Dicks left nipple. Her brows creased in confusion.

“This shit isn’t normal, what the fuck?” Jack said, wide eyed.

Time for damage control, the last thing Jason needed was for them to get twitchy and trigger happy. “Don’t you people read the tabloids?” he said, scornfully. “He got kidnapped and tortured as a kid. Why do you think he drinks so damn much?”

“That’s why Wayne is so ruthless about kidnap attempts,” Celia added, knowingly, clearly pleased her previous research was being backed up.

“Yeah, although he might pay up for his golden boy – but then again he might also chase you to the ends of the earth.”

Jack looked uncertain, like he actually had a brain cell and realised that attacking the family of a billionaire with connections to both the police and access to mercenary types, might be a bit of a bad idea.

Then the door opened, Henry and Garner entered with a gust of sea air. The mood in the room shifted subtly, and Jason found himself tensing. This was the real predator in the group and his gaze was flicking between Dick and Jason like a cat torn between two weak and tasty looking mice.

“Wayne has other boys,” Garner said, by way of greeting. “He seems to like them younger.” He reached out and ran his fingers though Dick's damp hair, and the drugged up moron leaned into the touch. Garner looked over his scars with interest but not a great deal of surprise, his expression was almost reverent, like they just made Dick more attractive somehow.

“Yeah, but he is fond of Richard,” Jason said, managing to keep his voice even as he watched Garner trail his fingers over Dick’s skin.

“It doesn’t bother you?” Celia asked curiously.

Jason shrugged. “Not my business. He pays me to keep an eye on Richie here, and to try to keep him out of trouble and that’s it. What the old man does and with who is irrelevant.”

“Not doing such a good job, are you?” Garner said. He was watching Jason as he pressed his lips to Dick's jaw, hoping for a reaction. Dick turned into it, allowing the fucker to kiss him fully. It looked deep and wet and turned Jason's stomach. He clenched his fists and willed himself to remain calm. Celia still had her gun aimed at Dick’s head and Henry was watching Jason carefully, the only one who seemed to view him as a threat.

“Although,” Garner continued, as he pulled away. “I can see how you might let yourself get distracted. I met Richard and Wayne once, at a function in New York. He was about fourteen or fifteen, small for his age, ridiculously pretty. None of the usual awkwardness at that age. When I shook his hand I noticed faint bruises on his wrist, and at the juncture of his throat. I wanted him, I knew he would be perfect. Wayne wouldn’t let him out of his sight though.” He skimmed the scar over Dick’s nipple. “And I can see he wasn't gentle. The kid took a lot of damage it seems.”

Jason snorted, his anger levels were not far away from boiling over. “And now, years later you have your shot at him. How lovely. Of course you have to use drugs, rather than just force.” Jason couldn't keep the disgust from his voice, for some reason it seemed to get up Garners nose and he pulled away from Dick to get in Jason's face instead.

“You have a smart tongue for someone completely in my power,” he said. It might have been menacing to someone who wasn’t Jason.

“And you're a grandstanding creep,” Jason snapped, he’d been dealing with more frightening people when he was still in diapers.

Garner slapped him hard across the face. Jason rolled with the blow, it was barely a love tap, but it did help him get his mouth under control. He had to play by their rules for now.

Dick didn’t get that memo though, and he suddenly shot to his feet and pointed a finger, slurring loudly, “Stop! Don’t hit him, you fuck-face!” Then he fell over his own feet, face first onto the plush carpet.

“Is he okay?” Jason asked when Dick didn’t immediately get back up. He was oddly touched that his being smacked around by a Z list criminal inspired Dick’s protective instincts despite the amount of drugs in his system. Or because of them.

Garner nudged Dick onto his back using the toe of his expensive loafer.

Dick blinked blearily up at him. “Did someone hit me?” he asked. “My face hurts.”

“You fell on it,” Jason told him mildly. “Defending my honour.”

Dick smiled up at him from his position on the floor. “When did you get so big, Jaybird? And so hot? You were so scrawny, all gangly with giant hands and feet like a Great Dane puppy.”

“Just how long have you two known each other?” Celia asked, suspiciously.

“A long time,” Jason told her, with only the slightest hint of scorn.

“Oh? How do a rich bitch like Grayson and a nobody like you meet?”

“He wasn’t always a rich bitch. He was just another little orphan like me. Except prettier, so he got life with a billionaire and I got to stay in the group home,” Jason lied effortlessly.

“That's really sad,” Dick said, mournful. “I'm sorry, Jay.”

Jason resisted the urge to roll his eyes and kept his expression hard.

“Enough of this nonsense,” Garner said. “Let’s get the bank details off him and then get on with things.”

Things. That was one way to put it. Jason leaned forward slightly. “That sounds ominous. If all you want is access to his bank accounts, I can provide what you need. All I care about is keeping my hide in one piece and getting Richard back to Daddy so I get paid.”

“You’ll just give us the information?”

“Yeah, why not? Safeguarding the Wayne millions isn't my job. And this counts as under duress in any case. “

“We will check, and we will seriously hurt you both if you mess us about.”

Scary stuff. He was shivering in his boots. He managed to hold back the aggrieved sigh he desperately wanted to heave and gave them the information of the very convincing but very fake account they had set up in preparation for something like this happening. And Celia, Sofia and Jack took their leave, presumably to go though the info and transfer the cash.

That left them with Henry and Garner.

Henry had a slightly disgusted look on his face, he clearly found Garner’s sadistic games distasteful. “If you’re going to play with Richie Rich here, then I'll take Jason elsewhere,” he said.

Jason suspected 'elsewhere' meant: out back for a bullet to the brain. But either way he wasn't going to leave Dick alone with Garner in this state, not even for the five minutes it would take to dispose of Henry.

“No, I want him to watch,” Garner said. His particular perversions coming to the rescue, not often you could say sexual sadism saved the day.

Henry sneered. “As you please, I’m not going to though, so you best let me secure him a bit better.”

Garner nodded absently, he had Dick off the floor and back in the chair. Although Dick was no longer being compliant and was scowling like a pouty puppy. Probably still angry about Jason being slapped earlier, which was very endearing, despite the circumstances.

Henry approached and Jason kept himself still, ignoring what was happening across the room with some difficulty. “Why do you put up with this nasty ass shit?” he asked quietly, trying to get more of a measure of the man.

“Same reason you do. Money.” He held a gun to Jason's head and forced him to his feet, before leading him to the heavy side table. He undid Jason's cuffs and redid them behind him before using a second pair and attaching him to the solid oak table.

“I'll be just outside, Garner. Shout if you need assistance.”

It took Jason thirty seconds to get the cuffs off, about as long as it took Garner to fail get control of Dick, who was trying to shove him away with all the strength of a kitten – but he was a kitten with some serious training and Garner was bleeding from the mouth where he had been bitten or scratched. He smacked Dick open handed with a blow that wouldn't even have registered for Nightwing but sent drugged up Richie sprawling across the floor. It was at about that point that Jason decided Garner was going to have to die.

Dick seemed stunned by his fall to the carpet and was curled up, facing away when Jason struck, he snapped Garner’s neck with a powerful punch and twist - not an easy move, but a brutally effective one he’d learnt from teachers he’d later put down like the scum they were.

He carefully lowered Garner’s dead weight to the floor. The guy deserved to die, and Jason felt nothing about the action itself, only a fission of regret for the arguments and stupidity that were sure to follow. But he would deal with the Bat fallout later, he didn’t have time to fight with Dick right now.

Thankfully Dick hadn’t actually noticed and was still on the floor, he appeared to be rubbing his bruised cheek on the carpet, perhaps enjoying the sensation the drugs caused him to have at the action. “Come on, Dickie,” Jason said, pulling him to his feet. “We gotta run, okay?”

“Jay, I missed you when you were dead.”

Jason blinked at him. “That’s nice? Can we go?” he said at last and Dick allowed himself to be supported as he wobbled into motion. He swayed and caught hold of Jason's jacket, burying his face in the leather with a sigh.

Jason heaved a sigh of his own. They were a long way from being out of the woods yet, and he was going to have to get them there because being taken down by this bunch of incompetent morons was just too embarrassing to contemplate. Thankfully with the blueprints in mind he knew the location to the wine cellar – there was no knowing how long they would have until their absence was noticed, so the quicker they got there the better.

#jaydick #dick grayson #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #mik trys to write stuff #my art #My fic #Catastrophe

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rambling-ranting-blog · 7 years

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Why I don’t like Taylor Swift

So I’ve been anti-Taylor Swift for a long time now, and I’ve been lurking on the “anti-Taylor” tag for a long time too. After her release of “Look What You Made Me Do”, I finally have some motivation to talk about her on a social media.

So, I’m not gonna lie, I liked Taylor Swift. But that was when I was too young to even understand the lyrics. The turning point for me was when I started reading about the “All of Taylor’s songs are about her ex-boyfriends” jokes on comment sections on YouTube. As I listened more closely to her songs and read more news (and rumors) about her and met a friend who would constantly tell me how horrible Taylor Swift is, my opinion of her completely changed. Now, I’m not here to convince people to hate her with me, I’m just trying to organize my thoughts.

Enough with the irrelevant talking. Here are my reasons why I’m anti-Taylor.

1. MOST OF HER SONGS ARE ABOUT HER EXES

This is quite self-explanatory, but it’s not as superficial as you might think. First, to refresh all of your memories as I’m sure you’ve forgotten, all her songs are about her exes. Well, not all of them, songs like “Bad Blood” and the newly released “Look What You Made Me Do” are about her infamous feuds (which I’ll talk about later on), but a lot of them are.

“Forever & Always” - Joe Jonas

“Back to December” - Taylor Lautner

“Dear John” - John Mayer

“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” - Jake Gyllenhaal

“Style” - Harry Styles

These are just a few examples. For those of you who are willing to argue song-by-song about whether it’s purely a love song or a song about her exes, I’m not gonna bother to even reply back, because that’s not the point. The point is, she’s using her exes as topics for her song publicly, and she’s making money off of them. Remember when the dreaded HiddleSwift was a thing? Allegedly, they broke up because Taylor thought that they were too “in the spotlight” and had too much public attention. Really Taylor? You want to keep quiet about your current relationship, but you can publicize all your ex-relationships? And she’s never been shy to talk about who the subject of her songs are. The aforementioned “Dear John” even has John Mayer’s name in the title. And she’s profiting from it as well. With ex-relationships as the topic for her songs, she is essentially making money from publicizing her previous relationships. Look, I get why people might like break-up songs. A lot of people go through break-up and endure relationship problems, and they want to hear other people who resonate with their own thoughts to feel better. Sure, Taylor Swift is a good provider for that, but using that as the defining, personal image of a celebrity? No. If you’re known for making a lot of songs about your ex-boyfriends, then you should maybe reconsider your choices. You are giving off the impression that you capitalize on failed relationships (which is actually what you’re doing).

2. HER PERSONALITY IS QUESTIONABLE AT BEST

Admittedly, this is a follow-up to the previous reason. When you sing about your ex-boyfriends so much, you sound immature and whiny. Everyone has that friend, you know, the friend who wouldn’t shut up for a week about losing a Monopoly game or a Mario Kart race? Yeah, that’s Taylor Swift. Besides, that’s such a 12-year-old thing to do. It makes me think that you have nothing good to talk about yourself, so you trash-talk your ex’s to make yourself feel better. In her song, “22″ she says:

“It feels like a perfect night

to dress up like hipsters

and make fun of our exes.

It feels like a perfect night

for breakfast at midnight

to fall in love with strangers”

She also says this:

“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.”

Now tell me, does that sound like a person who’s “feeling 22″?

“Oh my god, we should totally dress up like hipsters and stuff. What about my ex-boyfriend? He sucks! He looks like a ugly duckling! Geez, who cares about him? We’re totes random so we should eat cereal and bread at midnight cuz we’re totally random! Hey, the guy walking past me is kinda cute, I’m totes in love! I don’t care if he turns out to be a serial killer, I’ve fallen in love with him!”

That’s basically what the lyrics translates to. By the way, that’s something a 12-year-old girl would say at a sleepover, not a 22-year-old. And look at “Look What You Made Me Do”. The song sounds like a emo kid.

“I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me”

I don’t need you to tell me a liar and a hypocrite won’t be trusted, Taylor.

"I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now."

"Why?"

"Oh, 'cause she's dead!"

Here, she’s telling us that the sweet, naive, “old” Taylor will now be replaced by the cold, harsh, strong, “new” Taylor. She’s telling us that she’s changing styles. She’s getting rid of her squeaky clean image she’s tried hard to maintain, and is now switching to a “bitch” character for this album (or for the rest of her career). “Killing” your former persona to indicate change isn’t a new thing. It’s a matter of how you do it. The Weeknd did this in his “Starboy” music video. In it, he suffocates his old persona, smashes his records, and done. He doesn’t say anything, and jumps right into the song afterwards. Taylor “Edgy” Swift here includes this already cliched segment in her song. The lines here sounds like something from a cheesy 90s horror film, which is where these kinds of lines should’ve stayed: in a cheesy 90s horror film. She also says the word “bitch” in the music video, which made me chuckle a bit. Having seen an innocent Taylor character throughout all her career, this bit seems like a child swearing to tell others that they’re an “adult”. Her saying swear words indicates that she’s no longer maintaining her innocent image, but it also makes it look childish. Especially for a 27-year-old.

And by the way, do you wonder why you have so many failed relationships? Instead of finding faults in their sides, maybe reflect on what you might’ve done to repel so many men in such a short span.

I realize this is 1000 words already, so I will continue in the next post, which will be a few hours later, because it’s 3am already and I need to sleep. It’s not like like anyone would wanna read this anyways.

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greengargouille · 7 years

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A friend on Skype asked me how do I start my writing process. I thought I would do them an handy summary of how writing happens for me.

I - Finding Ideas

1) One do not find ideas. Ideas find you. Preferably while you’re very busy doing chores or homework or preparing for exams or work.

2) So, you’ve been found by an idea. Cry a lot in hopes it will leave so you can work on your priorities.

3) The idea didn’t leave. In fact, the idea seems rather interested in your tears. Renounce and write your idea to take it home.

II - Developing your idea.

1) If you want to write, chances are that you already have multiples ideas. Please free your new idea among the others in a safe, restricted space.

2) Ideas that doesn’t like each others will try to ignore the other as long as nobody force them to be together. It’s fine. Sometimes, two ideas will get along very well, and you may develop sub-plots or an interesting world building. Most of the time, one idea will end up eating another or multiples one while you aren’t looking. This is fine ; a strong, well detailed idea is usually better than multiple weak ideas.

(Note : Be wary that your new idea doesn’t disturb the sleepy ideas in hibernation, or you might end up with quite a load of work to ignore them !!)

3) You might decide not to work on an idea immediately. You might then be in need or a temporary idea-sitter. Talk to one of your friends (for fanfictions, preferably a friend of the corresponding fandom). Talk to them about your idea. Make them go ‘holy heck this is a great idea !!’. Your idea will them follow them, leaving you mostly alone.

4) Ideas will often find what to eat by themselves, no need to worry about that. However, be sure to leave a nice bowl of references to complete their diet !

III - Transforming your idea into a story.

1) Choose an idea you want to work with. Stare at it very deeply. Cry because it’s so cute/fluffy/sad/painful.

2) Open your favourite text editor, determined to shape that idea into a beautiful story.

3) You’re stuck on the first sentence. Cry a lot. Go work on another idea.

4) Get stuck on how to start shaping the other idea. Cry again. Look at your blank pages. Motivate yourself to write. End up doing a pause and juggling between tabs on unimportant and distracting stuff that you can quit after 5 minutes WT*

(*Writer’s Time. Equal to 3 real life hours.)

5) Come back to your first idea. Decide of a sentence.

6) It’s too weak. Cry. Erase it.

7) Decide instead to work on another moment of the idea. It might need you a few minutes to find the proper words, but once you started, the rest come pretty easily !!

8) Or not. You’re stuck on a sentence again. Cry a lot.

9) Drink water to rehydrate yourself of all that crying.

10) Decide to come back to your story tomorrow WT (approximatively two weeks*).

(*’What about deadlines ?” Buddy. This is my own way to do. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to work with deadlines.) 11) Look at your story. Get pumped up for writing. Edit what you’ve already made. You ends up rewriting half the text and see your word count diminish. Cry again.

12) Write and edit, cry, write and cry, edit. Over and over. Don’t forget that your story might still need references even while growing.

13) You’ve finally finished !! And then you remembered you only wrote starting from the middle and you still need the first part. Cry a lot.

14) ...Actually, no, I don’t know how to continue. Luck, maybe. Try that.

IV - Presenting your story to everyone

1) You’ve finished your story ! Time to give it a name. Or multiple names if it’s multi-chaptered. Awn, don’t cry, it’s almost over. A good tip is to chose a theme or object with strong importance to the story.

2) If you’re presenting your story on the Internet, you might need to tag it. Theme and Audiences are always appreciated as well as warnings in case your story is of the bitting type. For fanfics, put the name of the fandoms and the main characters and ships, but beware - if a character only have a few, irrelevant sentences, it’s just better to not tag it.

3) Your idea is so beautiful. Look at it. Cry a little.

4) Nobody is looking at your idea. Cry a lot. You wasted a perfectly good idea. Or maybe the idea wasn’t that great.

5) Wait, are those... Views ? Hits ? People are really reading it ?! Maybe the original idea is, in fact, good ?

6) If you’re writing original fiction, or you’re writing for a rare pair, a background character or a dead fandom, your idea might not get lot of interest. It’s ok. It’s fine. You had fun, didn’t you ?

7) Screw this. Cry because nobody is leaving your reviews or comments.

8) Your story is free now, it will go live its’ life. Unless it’s an on-going multi-chaptered stories, but as I said, buddy, this is my way of doing things and can’t say I’ve done much in multichapters. Anyways, you might see your story sometimes, just in passing as someone try to approach it because it looks fun. Maybe you will see other stories that look like it, probably inspired by it. Unless it really is your idea, an ill, poor clone. Don’t forget to contact your neighbourhood if that’s the case.

9) It might happens that one of your artist friends come to you with an idea looking surprisingly familiar. They say your story gave birth in their garden. Look fondly at the newborn idea as it licks the tears of his crying owner who don’t know what to do with it. It’s up to you whether you want to help him or not. Don’t forget to offer tissues.

#long post #writing #basically : it involves lot of crying and anthropomorphism

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smoothshift · 5 years

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Goodnight C63 Goodnight AMG via /r/cars

Goodnight C63 Goodnight AMG

I received the news yesterday that my 2009 C63 with 88,200km on the odometer is probably toast.

The car has been consuming coolant for a month or two, increasingly within the past couple of weeks. I knew I was in for some bad news when I took it in but I hoped I could avoid the worst-possible outcome. Maybe spend a few grand and come out with a new head gasket. No such luck. Mercedes has spent about a day diagnosing it and they're not 100% sure what's even wrong but at this point just finding out would probably cost more than the car's worth. They say that it looks like cylinder 2 is being bathed in coolant. It can't hold pressure. They suspect that the piston ring and perhaps cylinder wall are damaged, and they also believe that there could be issues below the piston so even if they fix the issues up top, the ones down below will catch up to me. The remedy is to take out the engine, ship it to their machine shop in Ontario and spend tens of thousands of dollars to diagnose and repair. Of course once the engine's out, you go all the way or you don't get it back. Or I could buy a new engine - price tag 60K.

Much as I love the car, the answer is necessarily a no. It's not specifically even a question of money, but sane use of money. Interestingly, the car never threw a light - just asked for coolant. Also, despite basically missing a cylinder, I couldn't tell at the pedal - the car's a beast.

I don't know why I'm writing this, exactly. I guess I'm hoping to organize my thoughts and deal with what feels to me like the death of a beloved pet. I'm sad about the loss of an object of little actual value because part of me feels that it was more than just a car. It had a soul, in its own way, given to it in small measures by all the people who lovingly designed, crafted, assembled and cared for it. It was a rolling work of art. The biggest, dumbest, most ridiculous, most overpowered and completely unnecessary everything all wrapped up in a handsome tuxedo. Despite my intense dissatisfaction in the end result, this is the single most satisfying car I have ever owned and, honestly, the single most satisfying object I have ever owned.

I had intended to keep it forever. To drive it into the ground. I thought that this car containing one of the most beautiful naturally-aspirated V8s ever made would be my future classic. I thought it would be the last engine of this nature produced by a generation of excess so foolish it's destroying our whole planet. I thought that one day I'd be driving it down the road and people would look at me in disgust as my stupid car growled and polluted its way around the streets for a cruise. I am dismayed that my future classic isn't going to live to see the future. I guess I did drive it into the ground.

As disappointed as I may be about its demise, I have no regrets about having purchased it. It was awesome and I'll always remember that feeling of awe I got driving it. Just seeing it made me happy. The sound it made every single time it barked to life or the way it bellowed when I put my foot down on the gas is forever burned into my memory. I'll miss the crackles and pops it shot out the exhaust when I lifted off the pedal, especially on cold days.

I'm sad also because this car has driven me through all the greatest moments in my life. I drove my fiancee to our wedding in it and returned her home as my wife. I drove us to our new home in it. I drove my pregnant wife to the hospital and then brought home my new family in it. We've driven it all up and down BC's Sunshine Coast, from Vancouver to San Francisco and back along the coast, we've taken it camping, etc. Whatever we needed, the car could do, and always there was a bear ready to roar under the hood if you wanted to have some fun. Driving in the snow? OK. Trunk full of junk? OK. IKEA trip? OK. Comfortable cruise around with the inlaws? OK. It was whatever car you needed it to be and it served faithfully always. It's been a busy 10 years.

In fact, I bought this car purely for personal pleasure. For both my wife and I, our daily commute is by transit or, in warmer months, by bicycle. We walk most places. The low mileage is proof that the car spent a lot of its life just chilling in the garage. As such, I don't think I'll be replacing it right away. If I do, it certainly won't be with another Mercedes.

I don't specifically fault Mercedes for its failure. Shit happens when you've got thousands of moving parts. Still, I would have expected that the finest hand-built, precision German engineering would last more than 88,200km of relatively sedate driving. I'd expect better durability out of a Lada and I'd probably get it. I'm sad for this reason also. All the people who created this monster must be as sad to see its end as I am. To see it die by the flaws in its manufacture. Or maybe they're not but they should at least be ashamed. My opinion of the brand is somewhat soured. I was prepared to jump through all the hoops and pay the cost of ownership but I didn't expect a shot engine out of a high-end car.

Anyway, thanks for reading and for letting me offload some of my feelings onto you. Nobody in my life really understands. Their concerns are for the financial loss and impact to my pocket book but to me those are meaningless. I could get a brand new C63 if I wanted to but it wouldn't be this exact one. I could maybe buy a used M156-based model if I wanted but I don't think I do/will. It's not what I need in my life now. The dollars are irrelevant and I don't really need a car. I'm just sad about the loss of my car. It's all too fresh right now.

I think I'll have the dealer wash it so it looks nice and then I'll take it home. I'll call some independent shops and see if they have any alternative options for me. If I do end up needing a car someday, I'll probably take it to Toyota, maybe get a couple thousand bucks for it and end up with some boring, soulless box.

Maybe someday in the future, when everyone's driving electric cars or when nobody's driving anymore at all, I'll see some classic muscle roar down the street. Instead of being disgusted I'll marvel and I'll shed a tear for my would-have-been classic. I'll tell my daughter about that time back when she was a kid and I'll show her some pictures. She probably won't care.

Goodnight C63 Goodnight AMG.

#reddit #autonews #auto #cars

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philipfloyd · 6 years

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What to Do When Your Website Ends Up in Google’s Omitted Results

Did you know that Google doesn’t show all your pages in the search results, even though they have the potential to rank high? Yeah, that’s right! Your page is eligible to rank high, but doesn’t get displayed in the searches.

These are called omitted results and, although they aren’t something to freak out about, they can sometimes become a little bit of a pain. If your website is listed in Google’s omitted results, almost nobody will ever see it. Fortunately, there are some things you can do in order to get it out of there.

What are omitted results?

Omitted Results for Domains That Are Already Ranking

Omitted Results for Domains That Are Not Already Ranking

Why Does Google Omit Results from the Search?

The Right Way to Make Omitted Results Reappear in the Search

Check Your Website’s Architecture

Improve Your Content and OnPage SEO

301 redirects or rel=”canonical” meta tags

Multiple Locations/Languages

How NOT to Fix Omitted Results

We’ve seen some really bad information out there, so keep reading if you don’t want to completely destroy your rankings while trying to get your web page out of the omitted results! However, before we can diagnose the problem and fix it, we have to understand what omitted results are and why they exist.

What Are Omitted Results?

Omitted results are search results that are excluded from Google’s search pages in order to provide a better user experience.

These results usually provide information that is very similar to the information in another result that has already been displayed. They could be classified as duplicate content, but not necessarily.

They could also be classified as a defense mechanism against people trying to abuse the system and rank multiple pages on the same keyword. This technique would be a sort of reverse doorway pages, since doorway pages usually try to rank for multiple, different keywords.

To see omitted results you have to click until the last page of Google (for that particular query). This will basically tell Google ‘I haven’t found what I was searching for’ and Google will provide you with the omitted results message:

If you decide to repeat the search with the omitted results included, Google will display the first results page again, but this time you will be able to find some extra websites/pages around there.

I can recall seeing this omitted results message on previous pages in the past, but during my tests I wasn’t able to find an example. It’s probably not the case anymore. Sometimes, when you’re an SEO, you don’t know what’s real and what isn’t anymore.

There are two common scenarios where results might be omitted:

Omitted Results for Domains That Are Already Ranking

These are the kind of omitted results you probably worry less about. They occur when you have multiple pages addressing the same topic. Let’s say you have 3 forum pages about Tesla’s new Falcon Heavy rocket. They all pretty much cover the same topic, but have been posted by 3 different users. Google will basically have to choose which page is best, display that and omit the rest.

This doesn’t sound too bad, as you’re already ranking with one page at the top. Sure, it would be nice to cover multiple spots, but hey, at least you have one top position.

The problem, however, becomes a little bit more serious when you have thousands of pages all competing for the same keywords. If the number of pages competing for the same keyword starts getting really big, then Google might have trouble deciding what to show.

It’s a known fact that if you make a search engine’s job easier, it will repay you with rankings, so reducing the number of irrelevant pages is always a good idea.

If you want to display more than one result here, you’ll have to create two very different pages, providing a lot of value, with pretty much different titles and content, but still relevant to the topic. It’s not easy, is it? As there isn’t a guarantee that you’ll rank both, I’d spend my time building content to rank for other keywords.

Omitted Results for Domains That Are Not Already Ranking

Although I wasn’t able to find an example (more on that later), this is the true reason why this question actually pops up: You build a website or a page, only to find that your website only shows up in the omitted results.

Well, it might just be that your content is either very similar to the other ones that are already ranking, or that it doesn’t bring anything new to the table.

“But if the content is very similar, why is this happening to me? Why aren’t other websites shown in the omitted results and mine in the real results?”

Well, this has probably something to do with the domain age. Being a pioneer has always been hard, but when you make it, you succeed big time.

I don’t want to be dull, but the truth is you’ll have to provide a lot more value in order to get out of the omitted results.

You can’t just put a website out there and expect Google to rank it on top.

For this, you need to work. That’s what SEO is. If you want to get to the top really quick, you’ll have to advertise. If you’ve been copying the content, don’t even bother trying any other tricks. They won’t work!

Why Does Google Omit Results from the Search?

As I previously said, Google omits results in order to provide the user with the best possible experience. I know this is a little bit broad, but don’t worry, because I’ll explain everything in more detail.

Everything started with a lot of users complaining about Google pages returning a lot of results from the same domains, making the search experience a pretty bad one.

In the following video, Matt Cutts (former Head of Spam @ Google) is trying to explain why Google sometimes shows multiple results from the same domain:

youtube

In another video (which is a little bit older by the look of Matt’s hair color), Matt tries to explain how this actually works and how it has evolved over time. It seems like they’ve tested out every possibility until they reached a conclusion:

youtube

One thing is clear: users didn’t like to see a lot of results from the same domain, so they complained about it and Google had to do something about it.

For example, searching for ‘cheese calories’ in Romanian brings up 4 results from the same domain ranking up top, and then the results change. However, performing this search with the omitted results included only brings results from a single domain:

This is because that website has separate pages for different types of cheese, which makes them all compete with the query ‘cheese calories’. Wouldn’t the second results be a little bit disturbing for a user to see? It looks just like as that website hacked Google into ranking it everywhere.

Although it might seem that Google applied a clear limit on how many results from the same domain name can be shown in Google for a query, John Mueller (current Head of Spam @ Google) previously stated that there is no such limit:

There's no hard limit on # of times a site can appear in a search results page set.

— John ☆.o(≧▽≦)o.☆ (@JohnMu) May 23, 2017

Even if there is no limit, it’s clear that Google has been making efforts to not show the same domain over and over again when someone searches for something. Even Matt’s example in the video, regarding Hewlett Packard, fails to apply. Searching for ‘HP’ returns their primary domain, their Facebook page, a Wikipedia page and some news reports (all different domains). However, there are cases, like the one above with the calories, in which multiple listings from the same domain will be present.

In the end, it seems like the more pages you rank on a search query with the same domain, the harder it gets for another page from the same domain to rank on that query.

Testing this became really hard because, apparently, Google doesn’t always let you access the last page for a result. It’s probably an anti-spam measure, but that often left me frustrated, with broken Google pages in front of me.

What I’ve noticed during my tests is that although the warning message only shows up on the last page, the omitted results aren’t necessarily the last ones to be shown.

What does this mean?

It means that pages that are omitted from the search results can actually ‘rank’ higher than the ones that are already shown, but they are removed from the search before the results page gets displayed.

For example, if we had the following results, A, B, C and D, ranking in that exact order on the first page, then a result page with omitted results would display results A, B and D. Result C should be ranking higher than result D but, because of the fact that it’s very similar to website B (and probably a little bit less optimized, too), it disappears completely.

Although omitted results are usually pages from domains already ranking, it’s possible that a result will get omitted even if its domain isn’t already ranking with another page. This basically leaves you with no position in Google, drifting into the unknown, somewhere so far away that even the last page of Google would be better.

It’s highly probable that absolutely every search on Google omits some results. Due to the fact that there are millions of pages out there that might be targeting a certain topic, it’s impossible for Google to show them all. It would be useless anyway, as most users don’t even go past page two of Google.

There are many factors that can lead to your results being omitted, but the general idea is that your result, although relevant for the query, has already been covered by another already ranking result.

Google’s official statement on this is very exact and seems really simple to fix: just change the title and meta description and you’re done!

However, I’m going to bust that right away and prove that things aren’t that simple. Here’s an example for the search “how to deal with addiction”. The left side shows the regular search, while the right side shows the search with the omitted results included:

From what I can see, the first two results are very similar, while the third one is actually pretty different. Still, it has been omitted in the first search. I know it might not be the most relevant, but it definitely provides more information than the first two, which are pretty much the same thing.

This proves that Google might not always get it right and that getting out of the omitted results space might not be at a change of a title away.

Almost all cases of omitted results have something to do with duplicate content. All other SEO factors (such as page speed and backlinks) may play a role, but if the content really deserves to be there, Google will show it, even if it takes 2-3 seconds longer to load.

The Right Way to Make Omitted Results Reappear in the Search

First of all, consider that there are multiple ways your data can get unlisted from Google. Make sure this is not an indexation issue, by checking if your page is indexed. You can perform a Fetch and Render from the Google Search Console to tell Google to index your page.

Also, remember that the best cure to an illness is always prevention. Check these tips prior to building a website or a new page, as once your results have been omitted, it will be harder to get them out of there.

1. Check Your Website’s Architecture

You site’s architecture might lead to duplicate content issues, which will eventually force Google to omit search results from your website. Preventing this from happening can help you rank higher, as Google will appreciate you fixing these issues for it.

A common example is a hierarchy of categories and products, where products can be found in multiple categories. This will create different URLs with the same content, all competing for the same keywords. An easy fix would be placing the products in a separate subfolder such as /products/. This is also applicable to articles and blog categories. If you know your article is going to be found in multiple categories, it’s better to insert it’s URL slug right after the root domain instead of hierarchizing it after the categories.

Most CMS do this on their own, but custom platforms might encounter such situations.

If the pages are totally irrelevant, you may choose to remove them, block them from being indexed through the robots.txt file or mark them with a no-index meta tag. However, many of these pages might still have useful backlinks pointing to them, so it would be a far better idea to 301 redirect them to relevant locations, or use the rel=”canonical” meta tag to display the preferred page in the Google search results.

2. Improve Your Content and OnPage SEO

This is especially important if you’re not ranking with another page. It means that Google might think you’re just a copy-cat of already existing content.

A really good way of creating unique and robust content is by using the cognitiveSEO Keyword Tool & Content Assistant. The tool will provide you with interesting topics to add to your content in order to make it more relevant for a specific query.

youtube

Instead of writing new content on the same topic, consider improving old content with fresh information. This will maximize the potential to rank and reduce the chances of having duplicate content issues.

If you can’t really come up with something new in regards to content, then focus on improving the user’s experience through better site navigation, design and loading speed. You might not think so, but a theme can affect your On Page SEO big time. Make sure you fix all technical issues and try to identify all sorts of gaps in your competition’s websites that you can cover.

3. 301 redirects or rel=”canonical” meta tags

If you have a lot of pages that don’t provide much value to the website and you simply don’t need them anymore, you can 301 those to the most relevant locations. This way they will pass the link equity, if they had any.

A good example would be a very large website, with a huge amount of posts. At some point, it is inevitable that some topics will come up again and again. When too many articles are on the same topic, Google might start getting confused about which article from your website to show and choose instead to omit these articles from the search results. You could obviously delete some articles, but those articles actually have social shares and maybe even backlinks pointing back to your website.

You might also have pages that you want to be accessible from the website’s navigation, sidebar, footer or content, but don’t necessarily intend to rank them. These pages are very similar, but also different in some way. They are still relevant to your users when they navigate the website, but you don’t want them to be the ones to rank in Google. You can use the rel=”canonical” meta tag to tell Google which version to show in the search results. Using the canonical tag is like combining two pages into a single page in the search results.

4. Multiple Locations/Languages

Although this is still a duplicate content issue, the fix for it is rather different. It actually has nothing to do with multiple languages (because it requires a single language in order to happen), but it does have something to do with the hreflang meta tag.

Assume you have a product and you’re selling it in different regions. All these regions are English speaking regions, but the product pages are slightly different, therefore you have multiple pages with similar content:

domain.com/region1

domain.com/region2

domain.com/region3

etc.

The only difference in the titles for these pages will be the region. In order to prevent them from getting into the omitted results, make sure you properly add the hreflang meta tag. The hreflang meta tag will tell Google which page to show in which region. This way, Google will know exactly where to show each version, instead of having to figure it out all on its own.

The hreflang will look something like this:

How NOT to Fix Omitted Results

I’ve seen some articles out there that say that you should get rid of the omitted results, as if they were a cancer for your website. Well… that’s not actually true. At least not entirely. Those articles tell you to identify omitted results by searching your domain with the ‘site’ operator. The search would look like this in our case:

site:cognitiveseo.com

After you search, you will be presented with a list of all your pages that have been indexed by Google. Then, you need to reach the last page of Google, where the omitted results warning message usually appears. By comparing the results, you’ll be able to spot the ‘bad pages’.

The tutorial then suggests that you delete the results that have been omitted from your website.

I don’t think this is a good idea. While the results have been omitted, this is obviously something that’s happening for this specific query. Although this indicates that you have some duplicate/near duplicate content on your website, that doesn’t mean you should delete it.

This is something similar to the content pruning technique. While this might be useful for a website with a billion irrelevant and unused pages, in our case, here at cognitiveSEO, pruning the content didn’t have much of an impact.

Although content pruning won’t harm you in any way, identifying these pages with the method above isn’t a good idea. What if the omitted results are the ones that are actually more relevant to other specific queries? You’ll be deleting important pages this way.

Instead, use the method posted above and merge your content into a single more relevant piece by using 301 redirect or the rel=”canonical” meta tag. While the omitted results might not rank for the search ‘site:yourwebsite.com’, they might rank very well for other keywords. I’ll explain:

Let’s say that page A and page B both target keyword no. 1.

Unfortunately, page B get’s opted out and only shows in the omitted results for query no. 1.

Page A still ranks very well on keyword no. 1.

However, page B is also targeting keyword no. 2 through its content, while page A doesn’t. Keyword no. 1 has a lot more search volume, but keyword no. 2 also brings in a little bit of traffic.

Does deleting the page sound like a good idea now? Not so much, right?

Deleting omitted results from your website isn’t a very good idea. The results are omitted for a particular query, but might rank for other queries.

By using the canonical tag, you can tell Google that when someone searches for keyword no. 2, you want page A to show instead of page B. This makes sense, since the content of page B is already ranking. Using a 301 redirect is also a better solution than deleting the page completely because it will pass the link equity to page A. However, with a 301, page no. 2 will pretty much get deindexed so no page will be ranking for keyword no. 2 anymore. Use a 301 only if the page isn’t actually ranking well for any keywords.

Conclusion

Omitted results aren’t always something to freak out about, but they can indicate a growing issue on your website. You should deal with it as soon as possible by improving the quality of your content and making sure that you don’t write about the same topic over and over again. It’s always a better idea to improve old content rather than to build more mediocre content.

Have you had any experience with omitted results? If yes, have you managed to get out of there, or are your results still drowning? Let us know in the comments and maybe we can do something to help!

The post What to Do When Your Website Ends Up in Google’s Omitted Results appeared first on SEO Blog | cognitiveSEO Blog on SEO Tactics & Strategies.

from Marketing https://cognitiveseo.com/blog/17778/google-omitted-results/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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