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#irondad quotes
underoooos · 2 months
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The Avengers: What's the definition of "innocent"?
Tony, pointing at Peter and using Peter's hand to wave at them: Right here!
Peter: *grimaces as the Avengers awkwardly wave back*
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God bless peter parker patron of families 🙏
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Tony: What's the greatest movie ever made?
Peter: Probably Scorsese's Goncharov
Tony: You know Scorsese? Pretty impressed kid not gonna lie
Peter: Thanks mister Stark :), have you seen it? You really should watch it, I think you'll especially like Goncharov's character development
Tony: I haven't, I'll check it out
*Later*
Tony, on his laptop: THAT LITTLE SHIT-
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oscorp-lawsuit · 11 months
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Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad
Peter: “Hey, dad?”
Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-
Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”
Peter:
Peter, tearing up: “Um-”
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incorrectmarvelquote · 4 months
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Peter: Blood loss? It’s not lost! It’s on the ground over there!
Tony: Kid, please sit down-
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marvel-lous-guy · 6 months
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Tony: what the hell were you thinking!?
Peter: Obviously I was thinking I would get away with it and wouldn't have to explain myself!
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abbie-brianna · 24 days
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Peter, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time i got hit by a train.
Tony, coughing on his coffee: Excuse me?
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mcucharacterquotes · 24 days
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Tony: I know it's hard kid, but you have to apologize.
Peter: But how am I supposed to apologize when you never actually apologized?
Tony: I have nothing to apologize for?
Peter: Exactly! Me neither! Mr. Rogers was mean to you, so I had to say it.
Tony:
Peter: And I was right.
Tony, almost in tears: Come here you dumb little fuck, you really are my son.
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hurtspideyparker · 22 days
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Peter, sneaking in through the lab window after patrolling till 3 am on a school night, running into Tony still working on a project 4 hours after he told Pepper he'd come to bed in 'five minutes':
Tony: I won't tell May if you don't tell Pepper
Peter: Deal... can I help?
Tony: You have school in 4 hours.
Peter: You didn't even go to bed last night!
Tony: ... okay but you're on fire extinguisher duty
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nam-ski · 1 month
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Tony: Peter, why are there so many spiders in your room? Just because you’re part spider it doesn’t mean you don’t have to clean your room, I’m going to kill them.
Peter: No, these are my children!
Tony: Like…literally?
Peter: Adopted! I saved them from a burning building last week and know they’re mine.
Tony: Last week, wasn’t that the time you laid in the Med-Bay with second degree burns and a smoke poisoning, because you wouldn’t leave a burning building for reason you wouldn’t tell me?
Peter: Uh, I’ve gotta go
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Peter: What about you?
Tony: What? What about me?
Peter: What if someone needs you?
Tony: Nobody needs me.
Peter: I do. I need you.
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ir0npvrker · 3 months
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peter: can i bother you for a second?
tony: you're always bothering me, but go ahead
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8 year old Morgan: When I was 4 I went out into the backyard and let a spider bite me so I could be like the spider man.
Morgan: then my parents took me to the doctor and he diagnosed me with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
Morgan: I was terrified that the spider had done this
Peter: you… you what?!
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incorrectpeterparker · 2 months
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Peter: Getting up a 6am made me realize that 6am isn’t a place it’s an emotion
Tony: 6am isn’t a place at all
Peter: That’s because it’s an emotion
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oscorp-lawsuit · 11 months
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Pepper: Tony, why do you keep ignoring lab safety protocol when it always ends in some sort of explosion or OSHA violation?
Tony: Well, Pep, some of the greatest scientific discoveries were made by ignoring lab safety protocol. Besides, Tony backwards spells “Y Not” so it’s really in my namesake.
Pepper:
Pepper: Did Peter give you that one?
Tony: Yes, he did.
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incorrectmarvelquote · 2 months
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May: Fucking hell, are you boys trying to give me an aneurysm?!
Peter: I wasn’t
Harley: I was
Tony: I cause them naturally
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