#irl people never stopped using it

[alexturner2005]

.

#i realized i haven’t taken a selfie with my dog in eight fucking years and now i never ever can and it’s destroying me 😣 #WHY the fuck did i apparently stop taking photos with him after 2016 #i have tons OF him but not WITH him #i had everyone look through their photos to see if they had any of me with him and there’s only a few #and they’re not really photos of us together they’re just photos where he happens to be in the background or vice versa :(:(:(:( #fucking why didn’t i take more photos with him i loved him so much 💔 #i didn’t realize it had been eight years until it was one day too late 😞 #sorry for venting here i can’t keep burdening people w it irl #promise i won’t make any more of these posts in the near future

[chemblrish]

x

#ngl my mental health has been garbage lately #can the ex overachiever ever know peace? #im starting to think the answer is no #years of therapy and nothing has changed #this whole thing is so painful to me the only way i can bring it up irl is through jokes #i don't live in the us we don't have this gifted program stuff here #but i was so brilliant so excellent absolutely perfect #being mediocre now is like having my heart ripped out of my chest every single day #watching people do better than me has me on the verge of losing my mind #i know it has to sound whiny and ridiculous to people who never experienced this #but success was all i ever had #successful was all i ever was #and now i have nothing and i am no one #years of being used by teachers only to end up spat out by the education system #all this pain for nothing #my therapist used to say im quite literally grieving #how long is this supposed to last? #how long until i stop feeling so worthless and miserable? #im so sick of being like this but nothing ever changes #ill probably delete this later but i needed to vent first

[feluka]

i hope that i'm only just hearing so much about that stopantisemitism twitter account because recent events have made zionists desperate. i hope they're no actually that prominent and i hope so so badly that jewish people have better organizations to represent them and fight for them

#because if the de facto 'champions' of the cause are willing to call weapons manufacturers jewish owned #and to defend henry kissinger then i am TERRIFIED for you guys in the US. i sincerely pray there is #better orgs to fight for you and that those orgs receive more attention and support than these fucks ever will #i've messaged some people personally but i must've missed some people (esp since some people rightfully don't want to be public about #about their identities and what they're up to irl because that's dangerous) so i'll say it here: #if you're jewish (esp in the US) and you have shown support for palestine you are wonderfully brave and your courage will NOT be forgotten #and for brown and black and indigenous people who know they are more likely to get in trouble and yet they don't stop - it will never be #never be forgotten that you've done this #every time i see certain friends voicing support for palestine #first of all i feel so sad that you all are putting yourselves out there while your white peers who have much stronger social armor are #are sitting on their asses. punitive measures to silence pro palestine ppl are very real and you shouldn't have to shoulder this alone. #but more than any sadness i feel so much love for you. i would kiss all of your hands if i could #and i'm praying for your safety

[random0lover]

I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”

(Rant in tags)

#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me?? #when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah #but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way #he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod #qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right #after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like #my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit #I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we #get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that #stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my #brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a #reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period #is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet #it goes 🙃 #random0lover emotional dumps #random0lover rambling ♡

[scattered-winter]

i want sooooo badly to lash out and pull away from everyone but the god damn people pleaser in me .

#sorry to make two personal posts in as many hours but man . #i dont want to go to the family gathering. i dont want to talk to people. i dont want to celebrate holidays. #i dont want to do ANY of this i want to be left alone. smfhhhhhhhhhhhh. #(all this is in context with irl family btw. friends in phone ilysm this doesnt apply to u <3) #like i get that we're all grieving together or whatever. but i want to stop being civil about it. #everyone in my family is very religious and theyre using god and church to cope with this. as people do. #but im NOT religious im in fact the only one in the entire family who's NOT religious and i am not comforted by any of that. #''we need to be grateful for this trial that jesus has given us'' ok well what if i set something on fire. #i just. want to fight someone. bloody fists blood in my mouth kinda fight. #none of this ''good christian sadness'' shit i want to fucking fight someone. biting and clawing like a wild animal because i feel like one #et cetera. #this is senseless and meaningless don't mind me i just donnnnt wanna go to the family gatherings <//3 #its like. everyone's SO determined to pretend like everything's fine and normal. carrying on with things like every other year. #and i get that theyre trying to deal with this shit but things are NOT normal. they will in fact never again be normal. #idk. i need to punch someone. i need someone to punch me. and then i need to be alone by myself for 300 years. #winter speaks #personal

[starfallsys]

why did i just have to read the argument that its fatphobic to want to lose weight if youre fat

like bro thats my business if i wanna do that, not anyone else's :////

#sorry im in a mood rn #over the thing i complained about in the tags of the last reblog #i can barely sit at my desk bc of the pain from that #and we never have enough food stamps bc of how much we eat #like i understand that societal changes could solve these problems too #but until then #id just like to be under 300 pounds again thanks #plus people are just plain mean to us about our weight irl :/// #i doubt theyll randomly stop overnight

[deityofhearts]

I hate when I try to be whimsical and sweet and get infantilized and treated like a dumb ass as a result

#deity dialogue #this happens moreso irl than it does online #(it use to happen a lot online but then I stopped being so overly nice and people realized I’m just a mentally unwell mean bitch and not an #UwU baby like they treated me like) #especially at like work because like idk. #how I dress and act and talk makes people assume I’m stupid and they treat me accordingly #which usually means acting like I don’t know shit about the world and nothing I say can be taken seriously #and it’s literally infuriating #and I’ll admit I’m not the smartest I’m probably the dumbest person in any room and there’s a lot I don’t undertaand #but I’m still not as stupid as people make me out to be i do have some sense lmao #it just kinda makes me feel worse because I’m already aware that I’m not that smart and people don’t take me seriously #and they probably never will :(

[mimikyuno]

hate and war to all terfs on this earth. i hate y’all and i hope u get deprogrammed soon 🙏🏻

#went to block one and saw a boomer ass sounding post like #‘back in my day we didnt need to answer questions like what is a woman? you just knew by looking at on’ #‘yeah it’s like CIA tactics to divide and destabilise the oppressed’ #ARE YOU GUYS??? HEARING YOUSELVES?? #it’s not trans people who came up with the ‘define a woman’ bs. it’s transphobic pieces of shit like u. #‘divide and destabilise the oppressed’ exactly!! you’re so close to getting it!! #it’s almost as if transphobia ties into misogyny!! who would have thought!! #girl fucking use your brain. girl please. who is question what a ‘real’ woman is. is it the random trans girl just living her life. #or is it u along with all the far right and bigots?! #ALSO AS IF TRANS PEOPLE DIDNT EXIST 20 YEARS AGO? #WE ALWAYS EXISTED AND ALWAYS WILL FUCKING BITE ME #and your obssession with trans women is gross. how progressive of u to blame all your problems on women you dont recognise as such :) #you’re such a feminist :) #also y’all say u hate men so much but i never see y’all bitch about cis men. and i bet none of y’all have EVER met a trans girl irl. #go touch some grass. fr. and stop agreeing with fascists on gender politics if you’re such a feminist #most of y’all i go block are under 23 btw so. hope u get out of terf spaces soon girl. get better #mine

[dq1]

thinking again

#feel like i have become too complacent with watering myself down into an easily digestible identify for society #partially bc of my career is very conservative.. so #no piercings or tattoos. cut my long hair off to a mens hairstyle. i pass exclusively as a cis straight man as much as i can #especially around the old head bosses i meat #stopped learning japanese even though im mixed so i could learn French because its more useful where i live #i dont want to be useful and i dont want to be seen as some creature mimicking human anatomy like a robot i just want 2 be myself #but ive been doing this so long idk who myself would even be anymore #sometimes i get into old interests i had as a kid and i feel that spark like that 12 yr old didnt die on the inside but then its gone again #i wish a version of myself thats not palatable to my peers could exist #i want to relearn japanese and i want to ride motorcycles and i want to get into certain types of music or clothes #but it also feels like none of it really matters anymore at the same time #if i could be anything i would be a funeral director in nagoya but thats something that can never happen #i shove everything i like down so deep you have to reach to find it #this whole blog is an amalgamation of who i was and who i wished i could be #but being human we r just cursed with bodies that dont feel like our own and having to cut and shape them in a way #that u feel better but not enough so that the people around you are frightened #this is mostly the fact i have avoidant personality disorder and i know i can never be what normal is for most people #i want 2 be myself but myself died somewhere in a past life i think #i am not even human on the inside. half the time i joke w people that im an rpg slime or the human version of those sponge slimes #hence my nickname irl literally being gelo / jello / jelly #and if not that then black German shepherd dogs r also literally just me #but alas i am stuck in a human body #one thats too fat too hairy too sick too broken and i have to deal with it and rebuild myself everyday so people aren't uncomfortable #ANYWAY!!! maybe ill add onto this later ...idk. #to be born again.. sighs.

[woundedheartwithin]

Something y’all need to know about me is, if I message you or tag you or send you an ask or comment or address you in the tags, I am NOT expecting an answer! Not ever, and I mean that. I will not get upset if you never reply to it, and this is for two reasons:

1. I know intimately how stressful and scary and exhausting notifications can be, especially when you’re not feeling so great mentally/physically/emotionally, and I will automatically assume this is the case if I don’t get a reply, even if I see you actively posting on my dash

2. I have already forgotten that I sent you something

#she speaks #in fact I’d rather see you posting if you don’t feel up to replying to me because then at least I know you’re okay #posting publicly has a million times less pressure than privately messaging someone and I fully understand that #I absolutely will not ever be offended or upset if you never reply to me #I’m not kidding like I just like to talk sometimes #and sometimes I like to talk at people directly #I do this in real life too lol I just say shit to the room at large without expecting an answer #I’m chatty esp if I’m comfortable with you #and I like to just drop little encouragements in my friends’ inboxes sometimes #lots of times if you have anon turned on I’ll use anon to do this so that you don’t feel pressured to respond to me #but I’m not expecting anything from anyone I promise #I don’t have a right to first of all because your time is precious and I respect that #but also again… I forget shit like that really easily #god just ask my irl friends lmao I just send them shit and then forget they exist 😂 #also also if I’m ever crossing a boundary tell me! I will respect it without question! #I cannot accurately read social cues so you gotta tell me if you want me to stop doing something #and like lmao I know I just said I’m forgetful but I don’t forget shit like that

[beomgyutruther]

.

#snapped at my mom because im stressed about my preboard results and then i apologized and explained that i was rly stressed and accidentally #lashed out and she started saying that im always rude to her and taking my stress out on her ??? and that i never do this to my dad #and then she said i never talk to her about anything even though she's the only one who does everything for me yet i still dont talk to her #and well. maybe if she didnt tell my brother 'if u do this u will end up like ur sister in the future. u dont want to fail in life right ? #then dont do this' (nearly exact words) when she was scolding him . i mean maybe then i would actually want to talk to her #and it sucks because i cant rly talk to anyone irl about this because i still feel scared that they'll like. judge my mom #because i still love her a lot and dont want people to think badly about her #but its getting harder ! to exist here ! and the fact that i am constantly used as an example of what my brother should NOT be #especially when i work this hard partly because i want to be someone my brother can look up to #and to have that come from my own mother . it's really hurtful and makes me feel like nothing i ever do will be enough for her #not to mention the fact that i have come out to her 4 times and she still constantly asks me if it's just a phase #<- i thought that part was getting better but apparently not #but i've stopped expecting anything from anyone in that respect so it doesn't really come as a surprise lmao #anyway rant over i just needed to get that off my chest because i really dont know how long i can keep crying and then forcing my voice #to be normal so that no one asks what happened because wow it is taking a toll on me! who knew #do noooot perceive this

[starlooove]

would you include cis people in trans spaces? straight people in gay and bi spaces? no? then why would you include cisgender straight people in les gay bi trans spaces? lgbt aces are lgbt. cisgender straight aces aren't. please be less of a moron.

That wasn’t my question tho. My question was what material gain do you get outta excluding ace and aro people from the community? How does that materially benefit the community as a whole irl and is the political landscape we’re in now appropriate to be doing that in? What makes it serious enough for you to be such a bitch about it?

#and Im so serious like I wanna know #like irl ramifications of ace and aro ppl being considered queer #and i think the comparisons are interesting bc like #im sorry but ‘if we let X happens Y happens’ is not reason enough alone to be such an asshole to me #like if u can’t bring up a reason why that alone is the problem idk man #and like i feel like the aggression is kinda unwarranted but I’ve never let tone stop me from learning so gon ahead #and Im trying my best to be unbiased but the white queer label discourse is so tired to me #but then if this is important and is genuinely impacting the community irl in a dire way I do wanna know #Idk man I just have the ‘theres people dying’ mentality like I think exclusion is just the furthest thing to worry about when bigots see us #all the same #but thats my opinion based on what I know and I’ll admit idk much on the ace discourse #well not from anons side anyways #but like if ur all like this do I wanna know? #yeah tbh go ahead #still think the anon boldness is very funny #don’t be shy let’s talk fr 💀

[lunarflare64]

Us: we said we'd take around a month hiatus for major tournament blog plans and we've been mentally viewing the end of that as early October but its been Days we must be like half way through that time oh god oh god we don't feel like we've had a break at all-

The one holding the braincell rn: guys its not even fucking September yet calm your time-blind amnesiac asses down

This shows so fucking much about how we view time and why having distant future plans stresses us out as much as (if not more than) plans that are happening the next day. Its the fucking worst.

#doing our best not to let it get to us #its not so bad with the tournament blog stuff since its extremely flexible and early october is just for PLANS #we wont even be actively doing anything on the blog at that point #still stressful but easier to get over #what REALLY causes problems is rigid plans #like theres a trip in just under three weeks and we've been losing our minds over it #started freaking out at people irl recently and it was a big sign to slam on the breaks and stop thinking #the fact that it can go that far at all is just- #our disabilities can be stressful and inconvenient and generally terrible #but we never genuinely want them gone because we feel like it would erase all the seriousness of the pain we went through #(a dumb mentality to have but nothing we have is curable so whatever) #but this? these time-blind panic attacks over things that are weeks or months away? #yeah we want that gone #its probably the only reason we dont typically make big plans when its an option. which isnt good for us as people

[friendly-local-trash]

Hello there. (Ic ask

Heya! You a local? Fan of Team Skull? Or just in need of some last minute poison pokemon removal? 😂

#pkmn irl #I've stopped questioning how people use this site I'm too gosh darn old #BUT NEVER LET IT BE SAID I'M UNFRIENDLY

[monsterbutch]

in my "nervous to be publicly jewish" era again

#israel's crimes are unfortunately reflecting badly on jewish people across the world. even those of us that oppose them #i never really STOPPED being nervous to be openly of jewish ancestry irl but it's gotten worse lately with uh.. current events #i wish ppl would be anti israel without being anti jew

[avatardoggo]

,

#so my best friend died this morning and i’m not handling it well i’ve cried 5 times today and i was balling my eyes out in the shower and im #scared to sleep bc ik i’ll have nightmares. and it doesn’t seem real like she’s not dead she can’t be and i didn’t find out first hand her #sister told one of our friends and she texted me and i thought i was hallucinating bc wtfreak and now i feel like crap bc i kept thinking of #her towards the end of august like should i visit her just to tell her how i feel in person and then just leave? but i was scared and worrie #about her rejecting me to my face and now she’s gone and i feel like i didn’t try hard enough to save our friendship and ya she’s in heaven #but she’s not here and and we like all the same things so when i think about the pjo live action or the new solangelo book or atlab or freak #ing anything it just connects to her bc now she won’t be able to see those things like we were so excited to geek out together and now i can #t bc she’s gone and even if she were here she wouldn’t want to be with me and i have school and i want to do well but i can’t focus but i do #nt want to use her death as an excuse and i hate myself bc part of me was her and her favorite color was pink and it became mine too bc it r #reminded me of her and i stopped being her best friend but she never stopped being mine even when she was ignoring me and i was angry at ber #i still loved her and she was the first irl person i told about my SAD and OCD and now she’s gone and my best friend is dead #and she was one of the few people that Knew me yk? like she just got me and i got her and she ignored me and now she’s dead #so ya i’m not ok so if y’all could pray for me that’d be great <3 #vk overshares in the tags