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#ipytm 4: inside out
shortpplfedup · 3 years
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Episode 4: Inside Out
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The contrast says it all.
In which Teh tells Oh Aew two lies and a truth, and the truth is the thing that ends it. Every time Teh lies to Oh Aew in this episode, Oh Aew knows that it's a lie, and he knows what the truth is. But it is only when Teh TELLS him the truth that it sets him free.
Act I: The first lie
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You're home kinda late today. Oh...I...had something to consult with Jai a little bit. Consult? Well...the same scene...that I still can't play. And what did Jai say? Jai just...gave me homework to do.
Teh Krittikorn Saetan makes bad, impulsive, often selfish choices when in the grip of strong emotions, it has ever been thus. Those choices hurt the people around him, it has ever been thus. And he never sees any of that until it is too late, it has ever been thus.
I think there are multiple reads on how we ended up here, with Teh in the grip of emotions this strong for Jai, and they range from the cynical to the unrealistic, and I think the truth is somewhere in between. And I think ultimately, the story suffers a bit from the ambiguity, and that has shown in the audience responses to it. I don't see it as a failure necessarily, but a misstep; not the story choice itself, but having made the choice not ultimately doing enough to bring the general audience along with it. Some of it is where this particular time skip happens for sure. I'm not against the time skips, but the high end of year 2 to the low end of year 3 is a gap that maybe needed a montage or a few scenes instead.
For me, it comes down to this: why does Teh want to be an actor? He wants his mother's pride and attention, he thinks it's something he's good at, it's something he enjoys, he wants to be on posters and receive accolades, these are all the reasons he has articulated throughout the story, but is that it? In a way, Teh is driven by fear I think. He's been fixated on this dream for roughly half his life, it's too late to turn back now. If he doesn't act, does he even HAVE anything else? Khim brought forward the idea of having multiple dreams, and we see how that allows her to pivot when the dream of acting is simply not working out, the same for Oh Aew. But Teh has no other dreams, because he has never thought about it. Most actors, most good actors, are driven by the need to tell stories, and that's a reason Teh has never articulated, and I have to believe that's because it's something he's never felt (I think because ultimately, as shown here by his conversation with Mek, he's not particularly interested in other people's stories)...until Jai grabbed hold of his fear of failure and replaced it with the story of James and Jai/Fang and Akin.
When I realised HOW MUCH Teh put in that logbook, and that Jai was writing back to him, I felt sick. That logbook was both violation and manipulation. Teh doesn't possess the personal emotional boundaries to work in that way, and Jai knows it. But also and ultimately, Teh is an adult who makes choices. And the fact that he keeps the logbook secret, never says any of these things he is saying to Jai to Oh Aew is a choice, one that hurts Oh Aew tremendously. There are two major inflexion points here: first when Oh Aew reads the logbook and realises what is going on, and second when Jai uses what he knows from the logbook as ammunition to gaslight Oh Aew and throw the problems in Teh and Oh Aew's relationship in Oh Aew's face to distract from his own shit. Teh gave him that ammunition, without thinking any of it through at all. And the consequence of that is this devastating slow motion car wreck of a breakup.
Act II: The second lie
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I read your logbook. And you and Jai kissing, I saw that too. It was only an exercise
There's an awful thing that can happen when you know that your partner is lying to you, not always, but far more often than you would think. It's when you know you should break up, but you try to save it all anyway, and maybe you think you have, until there's a moment you realise you can't, and whenever, wherever, however that moment happens is the end. Oh Aew tried, he REALLY tried. He tried to rationalise, and then he tried to not see. But then Teh put it right in his face, and there was no more rationalising or turning a blind eye possible, not without destroying the self he's built. And he values that self, so much, which I am SO PROUD OF HIM FOR. No more burying his feelings to keep Teh around, he's simply done.
I have gone over and over this in my head and I simply can't agree that anything that happens between Teh and Jai in this episode is out of character. Because Teh has fallen for somebody when he was 'with' somebody else before. Yes he and Tarn were never official, but they had a clear understanding that Teh violated because he was confused and questioning, just like now. And he has absolutely blown up his entire life without thinking it through because he was in the grip of strong emotions before. When he is in the grip of an emotion, when has Teh EVER thought beyond that emotion in that moment to the consequences, practical outcomes and impacts on others? If Jai had reciprocated Teh's feelings, what would have come next? Panic, meltdown and spiral, because he never thought about the next step. When he says to Oh Aew in the breakup scene that he doesn't want to break up and he never thought of breaking up, that's absolutely true, because he never thought ANY of this through to a conclusion at any point. Teh is neither rational nor calculating, he is a maelstrom of contradictory emotions, barely understood desires and wild thoughts, held together, barely, by the world's most awesome collection of shirts.
As for Jai...well Jai taught Teh a valuable lesson here, and it's up to Teh whether he's going to learn it or not. He was right that Teh is an actor and therefore needs to manage himself and his emotions to ever be able to do that successfully. As for what Jai thinks of Teh...Jai remains inscrutable to the end. My read from my experience is that the worst thing for a Jai type is somebody hanging around in his life expecting things from him when he got what he wanted and doesn't need them anymore. Too many awkward questions. Groupies and devotees are fine, they only want crumbs and they provide continued adoration, but Teh is neither a groupie nor a devotee, since he got too close he can no longer be a useful puppet, and he's not a muse either. So when Teh starts spilling all these feelings out, Jai realises he has to get rid of him, and he'll never get rid of him without the unvarnished truth. There are definitely other reads on the situation, and I think we'll just never know for sure.
Act III: The truth
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Do you love me? I do. How about Jai? I've stopped seeing him. You can be assured of that. I can never be assured of anything.
Why is it always that when the writing's on the wall, when you know in your heart the relationship is over, why then do you suddenly want to fight like a wild animal, clawing, scratching, kicking, biting to save it? What are you even trying to save anymore? Does Teh even know? What does Teh understand about what he feels and why and what he should do about it?
I think it was telling that Teh could say that he loved Oh Aew but couldn't say that he didn't feel anything for Jai, only that he wouldn't see him again. That tells me that despite his confusion he told the truth there, he does feel love for Oh Aew. But what kind of love is he capable of at this stage? Clearly not the kind Oh Aew needs or deserves. Could he become that person? Maybe. But right now he's not. Because Teh only ever does the thinking AFTER he has already done the thing. All of Teh's grand gestures, every single one from tutoring to running to sunset, have been gestures of apology. He hurts Oh Aew, and then his guilt eats him alive. That's one of their dynamics I noticed when I was analysing ITSAY episode 4:
we return to a dynamic that was briefly broken by their reunion: Oh Aew’s hurt and Teh’s guilt. This is another one of the background runners in their relationship, and it plays out across this entire episode.
And that dynamic, because it was never addressed in a healthy way, ends up in Teh taking Oh Aew completely for granted, and Oh Aew resenting Teh completely. It has got to be broken, for both their sakes. Oh Aew has to stop forgiving, and Teh has to start thinking BEFORE he does things.
The breakup scene is interesting from a costuming perspective. I did note that Teh is wearing his 'Oh Aew dumps me' shirt, also from ITSAY episode 4, which also did work there as an 'I'm sorry' shirt, and an 'I love you' shirt. He and Oh Aew, in Q's striped blue and red rugby shirt, are having a conversation in colour, but neither in pattern nor time. They do still love each other, as hurt as Oh Aew is and as guilty as Teh is. But Teh subconsciously is trying to bring back his self from Phuket. Oh Aew is firmly in the self he found in Bangkok except for one very notable exception: the hair. @brieans is the one who clocked this and IMO nailed it:
I think this moment must be another confrontation for Teh. In some way, each time he hurt Oh because of Jai, he has been seeing the new Oh-Aew: the red hair, the clothes, etc. This, for him, represents all the ways Oh has become "the person he never knew before". Yes, he realized how much he f*cked up in the kareoke scene, but I think this is the moment he finally realized the one he is hurting is his Oh-Aew - the brunette dressed in red, the boy from Phuket he loved.
Sides:
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Mek Da Gawd, saying what we all feel.
Teh having nobody to turn to for support in the end except the roommate he made a snap judgement about on day 1 and proceeded to freeze out for 3 years is just...oh god I HOPE he learns something from all of this. Mek is so much nicer to him in this situation than I would ever be. And the fact that he never even notices Mek's own heartbreak because he's too wrapped up in his own shit...SO Teh. Tunnel vision, one track mind.
The Support Squad sleepover is the first time we've ever seen anybody in that apartment except Teh and Oh Aew. Their relationship has always been so insular and in its own world, it was jarring to see others in 'their' space, but good. Oh Aew's healing starts by discovering a world without Teh.
That Instagram couple avi has been the gun on the mantelpiece all series and I wondered if they were going to do anything with it. I couldn't see any talent manager considering that to be a good idea. I wonder how much it played, if at all, in Teh not booking any jobs until now. And I wonder if he will actually delete those photos.
This is definitely Teh's story, and Oh Aew is a second lead. I do find myself a little disappointed that the writers don't find him as fascinating as we all seem to.
I was originally going to wait until seeing the docu to post this analysis, but in the end I prefer to let the docu add to my thoughts rather than influence them.
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tobeornottotc · 3 years
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Close Friends the series (another Thai hope for new stories in BL) ideas
What is up with these mini series Y destiny, Close Friends where they have a short storyline for certain known pairings and leave me devastated that they didn’t make it into a full 12 episode or more series? Why are we stuck with the engineering, university repetitive motives when we’ve had outlines and ideas right in front of us for how to make new groundbreaking Thai stories in this genre??? Unique, Romantic, Fun and great potential to explore new dynamics and characters. Please Close friends choose a series to make into one full series. Anyway here’s how I’d do them starting from my most favorite and desperate want for a full tv series plot, to the ones I can’t be fussed about. 
1.   KimCop
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Are you kidding me? We could have had a celebrity/fanboy trope this whole time from Thailand? Why haven’t we gotten yet this idea?  Man this needs to be a series, this needs to  be fleshed out and give me a full storyline. Like have a spoiled/ arrogant celebrity who wants to go undercover away from his label (feeling bored/frustrated with the environment he’s in and sneaking away when he finally gets out) and meets his number one fan boy who works as cafe barista (cafe shop au damn it)  who he knows because he’s been having secret conversations with him through a VR app that he monitors for research on how to create more. Let him pretend he doesn’t know said fanboy but find a way to spend more time with him, let said fan boy not be okay with his attitude and arrogance on the surface but be confused about the other version of himself he speaks to in VR, let us have this. It would be so good, between secret identities, contract living/cafe shop au tropes, we could have something that can be great, with longing, misunderstandings, having the fan boy pretend he’s not affected by the celebrity (due to annoyance by his spoiled persona) when we and the celebrity both know he’s different when he’s speaking to his VR version. Just so much to play with, with this.  We need this storyline as a narrative like this is closest to the kinda risks Korea BLS do with their plotlines for BLs and with Thai we know the episodes would be allowed to be longer and properly played out. Plus KimCop are fantastic; they’re made for this, they need the directing, the stellar budget and production but I want this now. Damn you Close friends for laying this  in front of me!!! 
2. Mii2
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Please can I get a coming of age series for this perfection? A coming of age that ends happily and show cases these two’s journey to being together through their pen pal relationship. Can we get self discovery, exploration, acceptance and more. Can we get finding your purpose, your struggles in highschool to fit in, to have friends, to be socially accepted. Can we get that with these two who clearly live opposite lives and find solace in each other. I want my BL answer me 1997/1984 Kdrama!! Like you can have it all! Give it to me 😭 let me learn about Thai history during these times. Let me watch this soft friends to lovers premise  Please? I’m begging? From the aesthetic, the time period, the wholesome characters and the potential with this plot, we can have a great unique Thai Bl series that’s still about highschool but show cases a different era. With inside jokes about that time period, with references, and opportunities for nostalgia for certain Thai folks, it’s a win win to me and it’d be BL! 
3. JaaFirst
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You heard it here I want them because of their chemistry. I couldn’t help feeling so teased and upset that this wasn’t a supernatural thing about a cat who turns human or something (we’ve had mangas based on this, lol even Mew Mew power has a play on this with the main het couple at a time, common) like I would have wanted this synopsis with these two a magical race of people who are able to turn into animals, one of them who loses his memory/ has to find something that will help his race in a certain time frame  and finds himself having to stay stuck with Ja’s character who he falls for because he watches and learns about him as a cat. Maybe he stays in his cat form to discover why he was found in Ja’s place with no memory, trying to discover about himself, But there’s times where his human form can roam around depending on certain world building rules. Meanwhile Ja is a cute cat owner who’s  unaware. But something is bothering him, it’s making him spiral, he is intrigued by a boy he keeps bumping into at odds times around his area but he can’t find the boy anywhere, and each time they meet he’s a bit standoffish and refusing to let Ja get to know him or help him, he can’t find the boy unless he appears at a certain time and place. And he spends time pining trying to find and get this person not knowing he’s living right next to him moping about his circumstance about not being able to stay human all the time, Like a play on Little mermaid or kdramas like My girlfriend is a gumiho you know these dramas with supernatural beings who have to stay in a contract situation with someone with a time limit (a month/100 days normally) to stay together and get to his goal.  Like weird animal supernatural trope but it could work 😭 One it’d be supernatural so unique to this genre, it’d explore a requited but they don’t know trope with a lot of barriers and misunderstandings :( Like damn it why can’t we be having all this Thailand.
4. MaxNat  😭
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A Karate Kid reboot but with BL 😭 Yes you heard me, between watching Nat fall for the sport and prove to whoever he needs to that he can be a champion due to the help of his headstrong tutor who takes him in, like we’ve got another plot, we’ve got another theme to explore, a new world of learning about the world of Karate competitions, and training to be a champion. Character dynamics that can be fleshed out to have another sports based BL series but this time Thai like yess 😭 let’s stew and stay longer in this I don’t want to do this energy with Nat’s character probably being forced to do the sport because he has no choice, to impress someone, to get revenge on  a rival who hurt him but slowly realizing that karate is his talent and what he loves to do authentically. A fish out of water experience, as he falls for his strict gruff, cold, and robotic tutor who he learns more about as time goes about why Karate is his all😭 Like yes please.... Haters to lovers, going in with wrong intentions, learning about self worth and finding your purpose/self. Like a chosen one narrative let me have this!!! 
See what I mean when I say all these mini series just leave me sad, that Thai BL genre isn’t risky enough to do new things, all you have to do is branch out a bit, try and create stories without the need to get Bl adaptations all the time from novels with the same themes and tropes. Let’s get new themes we see in other countries, let’s have these actors be put to use more and given stories that aren’t just the same old same old. I dunno, watching Y destiny and Close friends, have made me sigh because if people actually put thought and effort into how to improve this genre, and make it more than just a money thing, we could have great stories for Thai BL that actually will shock us, and make us refall in love with the genre. Dunno if what I’m saying makes sense, I just want new stories from Thai BL (don’t get me wrong IPYTM and GMMTV are trying) but I sometimes get frustrated at this explosion of quantity of BL that never has quality, it’s either repetitive or just awful in terms of storytelling. Why? Please Thailand branch out a little, these two series have shown you new plots, and ideas you can play with and create something more interesting and better than the typical lazy plots. Let’s expand Thai BL more. That’s all. Do you guys have your own ideas on these storylines and how to make them into longer series. I didn’t mention the other two because I wasn’t as connected to their plot (Love TalayYoon though) but I really enjoyed Close friends, and I’m sad it’s over now. 
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shinjaeha · 3 years
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ipytm ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)
this is going to be a tough post for me to do bc honestly...this ep just left me feeling so run down. i know that the cast and crew have always strived for realism and authenticity with this series, but this one was just a lot to take in :/ my thoughts are gonna be even more all over the place than usual but idec at this point. having to rewatch this ep again is really fucking hard (even harder than itsay ep 4 bc even though that makes my heart ache, i still feel some sense of satisfaction from the development we get...this just leaves me feeling defeated in every way).
you know the drill: not an analysis, just me ranting as usual bc free therapy (and boy do i need it after this one)!! i had so many feelings watching this ep (esp towards teh but what’s new), so here goes.
we begin with the drama students rehearsing for jai’s new play, and the introduction of the plum wine which will be the recurring motif in this whole ep. the use of the plum wine in this also kind of reminds me of how teh initially disliked coconuts until he started falling in love with oh-aew and started to like them instead...i’m guessing that’s the parallel they’re trying to draw with the plum wine comparison in this.
teh’s having a hard time getting into character (which we already know from last ep was always going to be one of the toughest challenges for him as an actor). his character in the play is supposed to have a sex scene, but he’s struggling with this bc he can’t put himself in his character (akin’s) shoes, so jai ends rehearsals early.
jai gives them all logbooks which he basically wants them to treat as diaries where they’ll write everything they feel/learn and hand it back to him (he’ll be the only one reading them). ngl this already had me feeling kind of yikes (esp now as i rewatch this knowing how everything went down) since jai already has inside knowledge about teh’s feelings on his relationship with oh-aew which he can take advantage of :/ more on that later though...
it’s sad to me that so much time has passed since teh’s argument with khim and he's STILL avoiding her. khim was someone that he respected immensely (and was such a great mentor for him) so it just sucks to see that their relationship has deteriorated so much since the first two eps. teh might have had his reconciliation moment with oh-aew last ep, but there’s still a lot that he’s not ready or willing to address yet.
i understand that teh’s just encouraging jai about his work when he tells him to stop having others comment on it, but at the same time, i disagree with him bc i think it IS important to get other peoples’ opinion about your work. how else will you ever be able to see things from other perspectives if you don’t?
anyway, teh tells jai he’s seeing a play, and jai asks teh if he’s bringing oh-aew...the look on teh’s face is telling enough that things aren’t going great between them (at least on his end). this brings us to the logbook scene, where teh’s homework for the day is to write about the similarities and differences between himself and his character in the play. this gets teh to reflect on how he feels his relationship with oh-aew is changing, or specifically, how oh-aew seems to be changing so much that teh feels like he’s becoming someone else entirely...and does that mean that he still loves him the same?
i feel like this is a fairly common issue with people that have been in a relationship for a while (and this is their third year together now), so i understand how teh might start having doubts. it’s nothing that oh-aew’s done, it’s just that sometimes all these small changes can keep mounting up to the point that they feel much bigger than they actually are. oh-aew’s really just doing what everyone else does, which is grow and change as they get older, but teh’s still stuck in the past trying to hold onto what they used to have instead of evolving with oh-aew. the way teh picks at all these little changes of oh-aew does make me think that he’s self-sabotaging himself. he’s just so afraid and insecure that oh-aew will change so much he leaves him, that he has to nitpick at reasons why oh-aew’s the one that’s growing away from him (though when we watch the whole ep we know that that’s not the case at all). it’s like a ‘if i push him away first, then he won’t push me away’ sort of self-defence mechanism. either way, teh’s a constant overthinker...and he’s always been his own biggest enemy since the start, so it makes perfect sense to me that he would do this to himself here too.
i know that they’ve been together for years at this point, so things are not quite as exciting as they used to be, but it hurts to see oh-aew be so happy about getting an A for his class, and teh be so unenthused about it. oh-aew has to basically beg teh to give him attention and praise. remember when teh used to get so worried when oh-aew did badly in chinese class...and now it’s like whatever to him just bc he’s not tutoring him/they’re not in the same major anymore :((( i know it’s prob both bc teh’s still hurting that oh-aew transferred majors, and from seeing oh-aew succeed while he feels like he’s failing, but still...
also, not inviting him to see the play with him bc he thought oh-aew wouldn’t be interested/oh-aew kept falling asleep whenever they saw plays together ;;; i get the reasoning from both povs, but it still is nice to be asked :(
so one thing i have to say about the progression of their relationship here is that i just feel this huge disconnect from last ep and this ep?? i know it’s bc of the time skip (since it’s a year later basically), but to go from the end of ep 2, where they’re promising to love each other forever, and then to teh feeling disillusioned/as though he’s falling out of love with oh-aew basically right after that?? it’s so jarring. i feel like we lose so much with these time skips bc the transition from ep 2 to ep 3 is never really shown, so there’s this lack of flow there. like we’ve skipped a step entirely and something’s missing. this is the disadvantage of only focussing on one year per ep since there’s not enough time to explore as much character and relationship development when we’re only seeing an hour long snippet of an entire year. it just makes things feel superficial since so much of what we should be seeing is missing...and we basically have to fill in all the gaps ourselves.
okay, back to oh-aew ranting to his friends about how he feels like his relationship with teh is fading away bc they don’t have the same interests anymore, but also wondering if that’s just normal for long-term relationships. bless that boy that came to ask oh-aew for his ig :’) at least he knows that he’s wanted and has options, even if he obv turns him down bc of teh (for now).
plug and mangpong are dating!!!!!!! and mangpong does a horrible job of trying to hide it 😂 sidenote, but i love the way pp delivers lines sometimes (like the “just shocked”), he’s so cute. plug and mangpong’s legs touching...and the wave of nostalgia that came over me (and oh-aew) during that ;;; oh-aew seeing their blossoming relationship would make him reminisce back to his own experience of falling in love with teh...when everything was still so fluttery and new. so when teh texts him about using his car to help jai move, he looks happy. like he wants to rekindle those feelings again too.
that being said, it’s kind of sad to me how even jai shows more interest in oh-aew’s major than teh (when he asks him for his opinion on how to get people interested in his play). oh-aew’s got some good ideas and is more than willing to help (esp since he wants to connect and find a common interest with teh again). also, just bc oh-aew doesn’t want to be an actor anymore doesn’t mean that he’s completely uninterested in it. god, watching this part again hurts bc oh-aew looks so happy and optimistic. he worked so hard to help teh (and jai) only for them to betray him like that. it made me mad originally, but now it just breaks my heart :(
jai’s running acting classes again for his play, and this time it’s a workshop to help them tap into their feelings. it’s like an intimacy exercise where they give one another consent to touch certain body parts. teh is still struggling a lot with this. i think teh craves intimacy, but as he doesn’t feel that connection in his personal life to oh-aew anymore, so it’s difficult for him to draw on his experiences. he can’t even remember the first time he had sex with oh-aew properly anymore. as usual, teh’s too in his own head to just go with the flow and ~feel things (which isn’t new since teh’s had problems with this since itsay), but it’s def something that he’ll need to learn how to do if he wants to become an actor. he’s trying, but the fact that he can’t get to that place makes him feel even more insecure than ever that he might never be able to get there. imo one of the reasons teh works so hard, and is as driven and ambitious as he is, is that he’s afraid that he’ll never be good enough. he puts so much pressure on himself, and the issue with that is that he’ll never be able to live up to his expectations that way.
teh is also very much alone now. oh-aew has his group of friends to talk to about his relationship with teh, but teh just has jai at this point. he’s pushed khim away...and he and oh-aew aren’t communicating effectively (which is also why they’re on SUCH different wavelengths in terms of where their relationship is at), so there’s literally only jai for him to talk to about all his relationship issues. and to me at least, jai seems to have ulterior motives (particularly when you consider that the subject matter of his play is pretty much the same thing that teh’s going through rn). it’s times like this when i do feel kind of bad for teh, but then again, he brought this upon himself the way that he almost always does...and it leaves me frustrated instead.
jai kissing his professor though...also their conversation?? i have QUESTIONS...
that whole interaction with teh when jai catches him spying on him and the professor was SO awkward. idk what it is about teh but i have never encountered a character that has given me as much secondhand embarrassment as he does. when he starts touching the bars and avoiding eye contact i just- why, teh why?????
moving on, i’m thinking there’s prob more to that scene that we don’t know about bc jai’s shifty like that...but it’s purpose is also to shift teh’s perception of jai. before this, he pretty much just saw jai as his friend and mentor, but seeing him kiss someone else pushes him to think of jai in another less platonic light. like the first spark of attraction.
the both of them go to see the mime show (babymime), and i know that the point of this is so teh can learn to just feel and let go the way that the mimes in this play do, but idk it’s just kind of funny to me the contrast between the last scene and this one. 
the leg touching scene again but this time with teh and jai...thanks, i hate it :/// 
teh’s already feeling like he and oh-aew’s interests are making them drift apart, so by connecting with jai, it’s that initial feeling of attraction that he used to feel with oh-aew all those years ago. jai is that cool senior that he respects...he’s goal-oriented and has so much in common with him (in a way that he feels that oh-aew doesn’t anymore), so it doesn’t altogether surprise me that teh latches onto jai in this way. esp when all their conversations revolve around what teh’s most passionate about, and what dreams they’re striving towards in the future.
it doesn’t surprise me bc teh’s affections shifted in a similar way from tarn to oh-aew when he was first starting to realise his feelings for oh-aew too (though at least he and tarn were never officially dating during that time...)
there’s a genuineness to the way teh praises and encourages jai that isn’t there when he’s doing the same to oh-aew :( and that coupled with teh lying to oh-aew about him having dinner with jai while oh-aew is at home, completely oblivious, painstakingly photoshopping his boyfriend’s face on the poster of the play TO HELP TEH instead of doing his own uni work, makes me so fucking upset for oh-aew.
it’s interesting to see how different their personalities are even when it comes to something as simple as the way they read their texts. oh-aew is so ready to accept whatever teh tells him at face value, but teh overthinks everything to the point where he jumps to a certain conclusion in his head about it instead.
but yeah, it’s just really tough to see oh-aew try so hard for teh, only to see teh do nothing back for oh-aew in return. there’s only so much one side can give. it’s the absolute lack of effort on teh’s part to even try to make things work with oh-aew that is the most frustrating thing of all. oh-aew is carrying their entire relationship rn and it makes me feel all “and for what?? why should he even bother??” about it.
sneaking to sit at the river with jai is like this forbidden, new experience, so it just enhances that feeling of attraction that teh is already feeling towards jai. and esp when he starts telling him about his previous relationship with james, the significance of the plum wine, and how jai ended up breaking up with him. since it’s reflective of teh’s own experiences atm (even in how he kind of self-sabotages himself to push people/oh-aew away first), he clearly takes it to heart. and it makes him want to do an even better job since the play is an autobiographical one for jai. not to mention, teh supposedly being the only one that jai told his story to makes him feel ‘special’......and we all know how teh likes feeling as though he’s special to someone. you can see it in how dejected he is when he thinks jai only told him his story bc he wanted him to get into character better, but perks up the moment jai says he actually told him bc teh’s been doing such a good job (and to encourage him). like i mentioned before, teh’s already feeling vulnerable and isolated from everybody else, so hearing any sort of praise (and esp when it’s from someone that he looks up to as much as jai), is going to pull him in.
when they were hiding from the security guard i was like ughhh i know where this is heading and i. don’t. like. it........
the problem is that i know where teh stands on this. like i know that there’s some attraction on his end. but i don’t know where jai stands. is he intentionally manipulating teh’s feelings for his play? is there any sincerity there? i think it’s obvious that he can tell teh is attracted to him from the glance that they share in this scene, but i can’t get a handle on what he actually wants (which i guess is the point of making his character as mysterious as it is but still). and if he can tell, and he doesn’t actually like teh back in that way, it makes the end scene even more yikes imo.
hmmm teh lying in the pool trying to recreate that feeling right before their first kiss when the both of them just let everything go and sank down into the water. that’s how you KNOW the next scene is supposed to be angsty...bc just like how their first underwater kiss had a sense of sadness to it bc they were hiding, their first (on screen) sex scene has that same sense of sadness, only this time it’s bc teh’s using his attraction to jai/his method actor desire to get into character to fuel the sex instead of bc he genuinely just wants to have sex with oh-aew. and if his reasoning for the sex is bc of that, then his task to recreate their first sexual experience will never live up to the actual first time they had sex (when they BOTH wanted it, and there were no other factors involved).
that’s not to say i don’t think teh doesn’t love oh-aew anymore. i think that there HAS to be some level of love still there amidst all of the confusion, but it feels a lot more like he’s testing his love/attraction to oh-aew during this scene (sort of like how he did with tarn in itsay) than a proper ‘love scene’. like he’s trying to reconfirm his feelings, whilst using oh-aew as inspiration for his role at the same time. it makes my heart ache that this is the first love scene we get from them this series, and it’s marred by the context of what we know is going on in teh’s head. like i said, it’s this permeating sadness throughout...and just knowing that oh-aew has absolutely NO IDEA what’s going on with teh and why he suddenly wants to have sex makes it worse. oh-aew’s been trying to make things work, and in his mind, teh spontaneously coming over like this prob makes him think that things are getting better between them since this is also the closest thing to teh showing any sort of initiative to work on their relationship in this ep so far...
and that’s not also taking away how beautifully this whole scene is shot. i’ve always loved the way that teh and oh-aew play and flirt with each other (bkpp’s chemistry is honestly unparalleled!!) so it was nice to see them be kind of playful before they started kissing again (if you ignore how sad this scene really is). i LOVE the inter-splicing between their first time on the beach and the present. the way the score swells, and little moments where you can see their feet and fingers interlocked on the beach. it gives you such a visceral visual (and totally takes me back to itsay days when that sort of imagery was used a lot more). i just hate that since we know the truth, this scene is more uncomfortable than satisfying despite how nicely shot it is.
i wish we got more domestic moments from them. i know their relationship has sort of grown past those initial moments of flirtation, but it truly makes me sad that we don’t get to see more of them as a couple in general in ipytm. moments like this where they’re lying in bed cuddling each other are so few and far between that i always feel like i have to cherish every little fleeting piece of fluff that i can get. even if idek if this can really be called fluff since the context sort of ruins it.
oh-aew’s still got his heart attack bag :’)))
he was soooooo happy when he met up with his friends 😭 but also, how the hell is it possible for teachers to move deadlines up like that. i FEEL that panic... poor oh-aew...
teh’s in rehearsals again and this time he’s wearing his moon shirt which...i do NOT need those ep 3 itsay vibes rn when i was already dreading this last ten minutes with everything i have in me :((( but anyway, jai’s brought plum wine to class and we know that teh doesn’t usually drink, but he does this time. he tells teh that the taste will change over time (it symbolises the ageing of the relationship process), and teh says it’s a pity he won’t get to taste it next time since jai wants to go abroad to study. then teh tells him he’s worked on the acting exercise and wants to try it out with jai, and i feel like we all knew where it was going to go from here.........
they really had to hammer it in with him missing oh-aew’s call too huh :/
as soon as they started the touching/intimacy exercise again i was just waiting for the catch. even on this rewatch i’m still sitting here chanting “don’t do it teh don’t do it” knowing full well that he kisses jai and there’s no changing that. but then when they cut to oh-aew walking up the stairs with the posters and you hear just how much time he’s sacrificed to help teh/jai on this...sacrificing time EVEN NOW just to go over to their uni to give them the posters when he has a presentation due tomorrow that he and his friends still haven’t finished working on...it’s just heartbreaking knowing what he’s going to end up walking in on.
whether it’s itsay or ipytm, teh’s default state is confusion. so while i think that there’s a certain amount of attraction towards jai there of course, i kind of get the feeling that he’s confusing his feelings of connection with jai (bc of their shared interests and passion) with him falling in love with jai. i feel like his attraction to jai reminds him of what it was like when he was first attracted to oh-aew, and since things have changed so much between him and oh-aew, it’s like he wants to recreate and capture that feeling again with jai (which is also why he wears the moon shirt...he wore that during itsay ep 3 beach scene, which was the moment when the attraction really started to burn between him and oh-aew). he can’t feel that same spark with oh-aew anymore, so he transfers his feelings to jai since, at this point in time, he feels closer to jai than anyone else. instead of growing alongside oh-aew, it’s like he’s choosing to revert back to a time when he was happier.
we know that teh has always been the type of person that will act on his impulses when he feels them. that’s WHY it was so hard to watch...bc i knew while watching that last scene, he was never going to restrain himself or put a stop to those feelings bleeding over into action. and esp not when it could benefit him in some way with his acting too.
in the end, it just makes me so devastated for oh-aew. and i really hope that he doesn’t let this go bc he thinks it’s just teh method acting or getting into character or whatever...i know that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things rn, but that’s not an excuse. he really fucked this one up.
the thing is, it’s not that i don’t think teh is capable of acting this way (i’ve seen a few people say that this is ooc for him, but it really isn’t? this confusion and impulsiveness has always been a part of his character from the very start...he was always the one that had the most trouble dealing with his feelings out of the two of them), but the time skips don’t do him any favours bc we lose all those moments that take him to what he’s currently feeling. when we don’t have those moments, then it’s a lot harder to sympathise with him. in itsay, bc we always knew how teh got from point a to point b, even if he did frustrating/silly things, i always understood where he was coming from. i always felt for him. i GOT his struggles, which was why i was always able to empathise with what he was going through. in ipytm, he just comes off as unlikeable bc of how superficial his feelings seem (from what we’re being shown on screen at least).
falling out of love with your significant other/starting to feel things for someone else is obv a fairly common experience, so i don’t blame teh for FEELING like this, but it’s how he treats oh-aew throughout this that doesn’t sit right with me. even if you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, or that they’ve changed since the first time you fell in love with them, you’d think there’d be some motivation to at least TRY to make things work with them before giving up. we never see that from teh at all. instead, he just see him becoming infatuated with jai (so we barely see teh/oh-aew together in the first place). and while i can see now that a lot of this is due to his own insecurities and inadequacies, it’s also just so disrespectful to oh-aew who's the one that we see putting in all this time and effort (it calls back to their whole “don’t give my time to others” scene in itsay bc we see oh-aew giving so much of his time to teh through helping him out with his play, while teh’s giving that time that should be for oh-aew to jai now). no matter his reasoning, watching teh act that way towards oh-aew does make it increasingly hard to root for him. there’s just too big a disparity in how the two of them choose to act and devote their time to their relationship.
what’s frustrating is that in itsay, teh would fuck up but he would always try to make amends with oh-aew in some way. he would always come forward to try to sort things out after...but there’s nothing here. even after their dinner fight in ep 2, it’s OH-AEW that reaches out to him first (even though it’s teh’s fault that they fought in the first place). where’s that boy that dressed up in his old school uniform in order to talk to oh-aew at his school? or made a whole chinese idioms scrapbook for oh-aew? or gave up his uni admission for oh-aew? i understand that characters and motivations change (and he was obv hopped up on his first love with oh-aew at the time), but it’s just really, really sad to see teh keep messing up and not even try to meet oh-aew halfway with this. yes, you can fuck up, but there are only so many times you can keep fucking up before it starts to look more like a pattern of shitty behaviour than a few forgivable missteps.
another issue is that there’s been so much focus on teh and his flaws that a lot of the time oh-aew comes off as a side character to teh’s story. previously, i understood that since teh was grappling with his sexuality. it made sense that his journey was the primary focus of the plot and character development. but i always felt that there was more room to explore oh-aew’s story (and i thought that we would get a lot more of that in ipytm...esp after ep 1), but it just feels like we kind of skimmed past all of oh-aew’s growth and struggles adjusting to bangkok/uni life so we could turn the attention back to teh again. i just hate that we never get to see more of how oh-aew’s changed in teh’s eyes (other than the surface level things like his hair, new car and major), and that we never get to see more of oh-aew’s life when it’s not related to teh in general. i hope that we’ll get more of oh-aew in the last two eps, but i really don’t know what they’ll give us anymore.
at this point, i don’t even want them as endgame anymore given everything that’s happened in the recent ep. and it pains me so much to say that bc teh/oh-aew are so immensely important to me, but they’re just in such different places in life. and teh esp has so much more growing to do (i think i said this last week too? teh...). oh-aew deserves to be with someone that can see his worth as he is (that won’t cheat on him for one!!). i just want him to be with someone that can make him happy. what i wanted most for them out of this was for the two of them to grow to a better place (together and as individuals), and while i still want that for them as individuals, it’s hard for me to want them to be happy together anymore. at least for the time being.
i’m kind of at a loss for how they’re gonna work through this (and i genuinely want oh-aew to be able to explore his options too...particularly with someone that will actually treat him better than teh’s treating him atm). so at this point it’s kind of looking to me like a break up is inevitable? but i do think it’s necessary  for both of them rn. i feel so heartbroken about it though...like ipytm is actually making ME go through the breakup...breaking up with all my beloved itsay teh/oh-aew memories :((( anyway, i think a break up is also conveniently the best time to put a time skip tbh...so we’ll see if that does end up happening now in future eps.
this one took such a long time to write up bc i wrote like a quarter of this RIGHT after i finished watching the ep (so you can clearly tell which parts were me right after the ep, and which parts were me after i had some time to sit on what happened 😂), but i thought it was best to take a bit of a break. i didn’t rewatch it again until i calmed down a little and sorted out my thoughts some more (though i know this is still pretty messy). but yeah, i’m still very much interested in watching how they things are going to progress from here...but i can’t deny how sad i’ve been feeling after this.
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lotusgrove · 3 years
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ipytm rants and one praise
Haha anyways I need to let some thoughts out about ipytm and twitter has a stupid words restriction so here I am
I don’t even know where to begin because I can’t form coherent thoughts and I’m also not good with words or whatever so I’m gonna make completely random points about episode 1 and 2 that kind of bothered me a little because I KNOW I know I was relying way too much on my expectations for part 2 when deep inside I knew it could never come close to itsay but here we go
About Ep 1: The first thing that bothered me about this ep really was the score in some scenes? Which isn’t a big deal since the atmosphere is different and we just have to adapt to it, which on a second watch it sounded genius because it really puts us on the main character’s shoes, specially since they left itsay scores on the first half of the episode and then slowly transitioned to the new ones, which captured the feeling of leaving your hometown and getting into unknown waters sosososo well. But then, some other choices left me a little bit meh, like some editing in some scenes (that persisted on ep2), like when a character is thinking about something and instead of letting us guess and connect the dots they just edit their thoughts on screen making the whole thing really more boring than it needed to be. I like being challenged when it comes to media and having my own thoughts about what that scene is trying to convey because what they’re showing me isn’t exactly obvious? But that editing sort of takes all of that fun of ‘interpreting art your own way’ away from me. I’m glad they left the little details that meant so much to me in itsay and made it so rewatchable, like the closing your eyes to adjust to the darkness, it was insanely well done. And also the cinematography that wouldn’t dare ever disappoint me. Last complaint about this one was how in the teather scene we could hear jai’s thoughts, that was a bit.... weird. It’s similar to the latter complaint but in itsay we relied so much on what the character was showing through actions when words weren’t enough and now we just... don’t have that?? I don’t know it was really out of sync for me but moving on.
About Ep 2: Oh boy. Oh boy. Like I literally just finished ep 2 but the fact I rewatched ep 1 around 4 times in the same week and yet feel absolutely NO wish to watch ep 2 ever again does tell you something about it. It starts really ok, it’s cute in spite of its angsty moments and we can totally see Teh doesn’t really go along with Ohaew’s friends and I feel like it’s mutual, which is something i hope they can fix on the next episodes?? Like damn having a long term relationship with someone and hate the people they care about is not really the way to go. And I could totally understand if their friends were a bad influence on them because that can happen and it’s valid but IT WASN’T THE CASE, and that fucked things up way more. I was hoping Teh could have a reason to the fucking tantrum he threw in the middle of the street in the preview because you know, as a fellow Teh Apologist that was all I could ask for, and yet I was given a whole context behind that which made the entire scene worse. The way Teh couldn’t stop himself from shaming Ohaew in front of his fucking friends. In public. Like, that shit was a damn trigger for me, because I was once in Ohaew’s shoes, and yes I know my relationship was a toxic one and that makes me so scared their relationship will follow this exact path. I know he recognized he was being a dick and apologized in the end but I’m scared he’ll keep fucking up and thinking his sincere apologies will make everything fine again when that’s just toxic as fuck, and I really don’t want the show that comforted me through so many months to be a damn trigger to me. Also why was he mad about a damn tattoo??? It’s so small you’ll stop noticing it in 2 weeks. ALSO KHIM BABY I’M SO SORRY THAT MF TEH WOULD EVEN TREAT YOU LIKE THAT. Like I know Teh is scared in the end he’ll be left alone to pursue his dreams but damn everyone has a different reality and he has to grow up and understand that. I also wanna talk about how I was so scared the time jumps they were planning to do throughout this season weren’t going to work for me and Ep 1 was fine even but Ep2... kind of fucked it up. 8 months is one hell of a time jump and so much got lost in it I don’t know how to react. LAST BUT NOT LEAST. I got really really emotional over Ohaew not getting the roles he wanted because of his feminine traits because i kept thinking about PP and i love him sosososo much i would crush any mf who even dared treat him like that and make him feel like he’s less than his full potential. I didn’t cry about anything else but this, it hit me like a damn truck, and I really think this subject isn’t being thrown out of nowhere and it will mean something later on.
Alright I think this is it if i need to rant more I’ll definitelly be coming back here
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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On Jai, Teh, and Teh's attraction to/infatuation with Jai
So I'm on record as thinking Jai is a villain and a sociopath and I'm only gonna walk that back a LEEEEETLE bit...lol. I'm completely not objective because Jai reminds me so much of men I knew (and dated) in the arts in my twenties, so basically your mileage may vary tremendously.
The first thing for me is the most critical: Jai and Teh were never friends. Going back to episode 1, I think there is some mild interest in a clinical way on Jai's part (it almost feels like he wants to study him) and a minor fascination on Teh's part, and that seems to have built through episode 2 as they spend more time together. But that time we see is ALWAYS about theatre/acting/work. They don't talk about anything else that we see. They're friendLY, but friends is a stretch for me.
In episode 3 it seems to me that part of what gets Teh falling for Jai is this: Teh actually knows so little about him to that point, and in episode 3 Jai gives him a look in, both via the logbook conversation, and then on the 'date'. Teh overshares with Jai in part because he really needs a friend, but also I think hoping for some reciprocation, some understanding of who Jai even IS. And the opening for the 'date' is Teh finding out something about Jai that Jai had no intention of sharing with him: that he's sleeping with the teacher. And once on the 'date', look at how Teh reacted to Jai telling him the James story: he was so happy to learn something about him, and then so sad that that, too, was for work. Teh has told Jai a LOT about his life but Jai rarely talks to him about anything but acting and directing and stuff. That's not a friendship to me, Jai is almost a guru.
To understand how Teh mistakes that for a real friendship, consider that Teh doesn't really have many friendships, real reciprocal friendships. It's part of the reason he was so obsessed with becoming friends again with Oh Aew in ITSAY...remember the scene when he went back to school and tried to engage his school friends in the same kind of intimate conversation he had with Oh Aew (about being a virgin). Everybody was like 'huh?'. Teh's actual friendships have been with Tarn, a similarly ambitious and driven person (and a friendship he destroyed), Khim, another person he found similarity and shared ambition with (and another friendship which he destroyed) and Oh Aew, whom he thought he shared ambitions with but that was actually never the basis of their friendship (another friendship which he...you get my point). Teh makes friends with people he sees something of himself in, which is...a smidge narcissistic, but also somewhat of a coping mechanism because Teh finds it very difficult to understand people (I really think people who have clocked him as possibly neurodivergent are onto something) and so he can understand and sympathise most with people who are similar to him.
There are obvious ways that Teh and Jai are similar, but since I have no objectivity on Jai and plenty of grace for Teh, I did miss one thing until I watched the episode 5 teaser, which sent me back to watch Jai and Teh's conversation at the bar. Teh talks to Top about feeling 'empty' despite living his dream, and Jai talks to Teh at the bar about feeling 'hollow' after the play. And now I think that Jai does feel some remorse for what he did to Teh. Because he thought the play was important, he didn't feel guilty about doing what he did to Teh to make it happen, but his triumph ended up feeling hollow in the end, because the people he wanted to see it weren't there. I still don't think he regrets it, and given the chance for a do over he would probably do the same thing again (maybe refining his methods a little), but he does feel a hint of remorse especially once he realises how deeply he has gotten into Teh's psyche. Teh spilling his guts embarrasses Jai, because he's like 'whoa, I just wanted you to play the part, I never wanted all this other stuff'. And I think, in the end, that's why he tells him the truth of what he did, that's why he turns his back on him at the bar, and that's why he can't look him in the eye when they bump into each other at the faculty. He meant to use him, not destroy him.
TLDR: I think Jai might be only a baby sociopath so may still have a hint of conscience, but not enough to not justify to himself that he did what he had to do. He'd do it again, but he feels a teensy bit bad about it because now he's uncomfortable. Also, Teh is desperate for real friends and has poor emotional management skills, which we been knew.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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'Hello, Barbara? This is Shirley.'
Oh Aew really put on a see thru nightie and went to confront the other woman. I'm gonna enjoy this telenovela-ass episode so much, even as my heart is shattering onto the floor.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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Anatomy of a Scene Play Stupid Games Win Stupid Prizes: how to 'not it' your way to the top.
Hey, Oh-aew. What do you think about the play? It's...good. When I first read the script, I didn't really understand. But once I saw it myself, it's clearer to me now. Like, how? Well, the part when Akin and Fang were seducing each other...when it's portrayed, it made me understand the characters' feelings more. But I heard Teh complaining that he couldn't really play this scene. How did you do it? Get him to play? I didn't do anything. He just...lost his concentration. So I helped him concentrate. Oh. I thought there was some kind of extra workshop. What do you mean? I came here yesterday. I saw everything. You and him kissing. That's the workshop for this scene, like you really saw. What workshop? A director and an actor kissing... This is my directing style. What directing style? Didn't you see that I made Teh able to play? Oh-aew. I don't want you to overthink about stuff like this. Teh is an actor. What if one day, he has to play a role that requires kissing somebody else, will you keep being paranoid like this? All I did was for my play. And if Teh was able to play by himself, I wouldn't have to do that.
--
You said in the past week, I progressed very quickly. I could do it because of you. You know, I loved it every time I played Akin. Although he's complex, being able to understand Akin makes me understand you too. And I...I'm very happy that I got to know you this much. After this, I'm gonna miss Akin very much. And I'm gonna miss you too. You said I'd become your Akin. You're my Fang too. Teh...all I did was for you to be able to play this role. It's all about work. I did everything on purpose. I had it all planned. So you'd feel this way towards me. I thought you said every action has its own meaning. And what you did to me, all that was nothing? I just wanted to make my dream come true. Do you understand what I'm saying? Don't do this to me. No, you don't do this. You're an actor. You must be able to manage yourself. And you must be able to accept my kind of directing style.
I Promised You the Moon, Episode 4: Inside Out Director: Meen Tossaphon Riantong Cinematographer: Koi Boonyanuch Kraithong Score: Vichaya Vatanasapt Cast: Billkin Putthipong Assaratanakul, PP Krit Amnuaydechkorn, Oab Oabnithi Wiwattanawarang
I've said before I love duality in film, that thing where two things combine to show one true thing. Here the two things are two scenes: the two conversations...confrontations really...that Jai has with Teh and Oh Aew, where he puts his cards on the table. And the true thing we're trying to see is: who even is Jai? What is his super objective regarding Teh and Oh Aew? How does he really feel about this thing he did to them? Does he care? Is he guilty? What kind of a person deliberately does what he did? As the audience, you want to understand these things about a character, because at the heart of it you WANT to empathize with characters in a story. It's what makes us human, trying to find the humanity in others. We like to think we can 'read' people, mostly so we can judge them; should we like them or not, are they 'good' or 'bad', hero or villain of the tale? We need to position them in a role to make sense of the world we're watching.
IPYTM withholds that understanding from us, deliberately. We're supposed to be off balance and unsure about Jai, because Teh and Oh Aew are off balance and unsure about him. Up until Jai starts playing his stupid games, the story has told us almost nothing about him. Teh has been 'friends' with Jai for 3 years at this point, but he is starved to know ANYTHING personal about him. And we've seen from the very beginning that there is a weird, off vibe between Oh Aew and Jai. The pair of scenes here is the culmination of these character dynamics: Jai's inscrutability clashes, in turn, with Oh Aew's wariness and Teh's neediness, when his manipulations finally catch up with him.
It's extremely difficult to play a character whose super objective is shielded from both the audience and the other characters by design, and Oab's turn here as Jai is seriously masterful. He makes you watch his every microexpression, parse his every line reading. He plays the character so small, so suppressed, so internal. He expends every trick in his arsenal to give us nothing. Anything you do get looks and feels like Jai letting the mask he's constantly wearing drop for just a moment while he figures out the next chess move. Oab Oabnithi is a goddamn ACTOR.
In the first scene Jai's caught when he didn't think he would be. It's a week out from the performance, he's just gotten proof positive in the rehearsal room that his manipulation of Teh has had the desired effect and he's riding a bit of a high, and maybe letting out a sigh of relief. He's feeling relaxed and maybe a bit smug. And then Oh Aew starts asking some pointed questions and he realises he's trapped, and suddenly he's tense and defensive. You can see the body language change when Oh Aew asks about the 'extra workshop', the guilty blinking and the almost imperceptible gulp, the tension in his jaw.
First he decides to play innocent. He thinks Oh Aew may suspect, but he doesn't know. Then Oh Aew makes it clear that he knows what happened, and you see his mouth tighten, barely noticeably. A moment ago he was in charge and now he's not. He decides to brazen it out. Wide innocent eyes, breezy affect. Yeah we kissed, so what? It's nothing. Oh Aew is overreacting. He hasn't done anything wrong, it's just his style. It's Teh's fault (and by extension Oh Aew's) for not being able to play the scene without him having to intervene like this. You made me do this, this is on you not on me.
The second scene is only a snippet of the final conversation between Jai and Teh, but it's the crux of the whole thing. Again, Jai's having a moment where he's riding a bit of a high, even if it feels hollow like he says, when it's undercut by somebody else's feelings. Again, he feels trapped. As he listens to Teh's confession his face shutters. His eyes droop and narrow, his expression goes blank and then pitying. It's nothing. Teh can't control himself, this is how these things work. He hasn't done anything wrong, it's just his style. It's Teh's fault, him having to do this. You made me do this, this is on you not on me.
What this pair of scenes tells us about Jai is that when he feels trapped, he'll find the most effective way to escape. He knew the most effective way to get Oh Aew off his back would be to play on his self-doubt. He knew the most effective way to get Teh off his back would be to play against his need to be special. The almost clinical interest in them we've seen in tiny bits over the story, that thing that made Teh want to be his friend and Oh Aew uncomfortable with him, pays off for him. Because when he of necessity gets trapped in their psychodrama, the one that he didn't create but he certainly took advantage of for his own ends, he can escape. Thinking back to the story he told Teh about breaking up with James, this seems like his pattern. James too tried to 'trap' him with his feelings, so he ended it.
So to answer the questions, the true thing that these two scenes tell us about Jai: Jai is a person with serious ambitions, he believes he is destined for greatness, and he won't let anything get in his way. He'll do what he has to do, and you can't blame him for it. Does he have regrets about that? I think he does. But in the end he gets what he wants so they don't matter. He refuses to be weighed down by guilt or other people's feelings and expectations, so he'll escape them by any means necessary. You made me do this, this is on you not on me.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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Just rewatching IPYTM 3 and 4 and I think the saddest and most difficult thing to watch and also the thing the filmmaking conveys very clearly is how Teh can't even SEE Oh Aew when he's right in front of him. That's brought into sharp relief in the karaoke scene when the camera whiplashes Teh's view from Jai to Oh Aew. Teh kind of stopped looking at Oh Aew because it hurt to see him do so well after 'leaving Teh behind' in acting. But then it's like he SAW him for the first time in a year and he's in pain, in tears. Teh saw his own hurt reflected back at him, and since Teh can only see his shit when people mirror it back at him (god I've been wanting to write about Teh and all the literal and metaphorical mirrors around him for MONTHS but I can't find my way in or out of that thematic maze at the moment) THAT'S the moment he snaps to.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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Shooting Gallery...
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Pain, right off the bat. The poster Oh Aew made, for Teh, is truly beautiful. He put his everything into that. But it's so SAD. I know the play is a sad play, but damn. I feel like this poster is also a stand in for Oh Aew's sadness as well.
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Both of these shots have a real sense of menace to me, and I can't shake that reading of them. It feels like Oh Aew is not safe with Teh, and Teh is not safe with Jai. I want both of them to run screaming out of these situations.
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The ways the cinematography conveys Teh's aloneness and isolation during the end scenes of the episode are quite stark, like this shot here of him outside Q's house. The entire shot says You Are Not Welcome Here.
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Another shot to drive the point home. That's a huge empty conference room for a three-person meeting, and the angle of the shot and the mirror at the end are meant to make it look even bigger and emptier. Teh has everything he wanted in this scene, and finds himself completely alone with only memories in the form of the IG photos to keep him company. And now he has to decide if he will lose even those.
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In contrast, as much as Oh Aew may feel alone in his sadness, isolated here in the door frame...
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...he is not alone, and doesn't have to be. His home is full of people who care about him, and he is supported, and embraced.
I Promised You the Moon, Episode 4: Inside Out Director: Meen Tossaphon Riantong Cinematographer: Koi Boonyanuch Kraithong
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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Anatomy of A Scene Teh Is Not An Actor: One Scene Two Ways and some thoughts on what it says about our protagonist
What's wrong? Why are you back to this again? Put the meaning into the character's action. Remember this, in Akin's world, there is no Oh-aew. Forget Oh-aew. Because there's only one person you need to think about. Fang. No. Me. Use the feelings that you had with me yesterday. And put them into the scene. Understood?
I Promised You the Moon, Episode 4: Inside Out Director: Meen Tossaphon Riantong Cinematographer: Koi Boonyanuch Kraithong Score: Vichaya Vatanasapt Cast: Billkin Putthipong Assaratanakul, PP Krit Amnuaydechkorn, Oab Oabnithi Wiwattanawarang, Jewly Porntip Kitdamrongchai
I love duality in film. Basic, I know, but I'm fascinated by it. Parallels, callbacks, repetitions, mirroring, flashbacks, do-overs, dual perspectives, two handers...I love them all. So I think a lot of the scenes I gravitate to embody this sense of two things telling you one true thing. In this scene, the two things are the two takes of the cursed play, before Jai intervenes and after.
The physicality that Billkin has created for Teh is so specific. Teh's nervous energy, the tension in his shoulders, always hunching, the tactile fidgeting, the restless eyes...this kid is wound SO tight. He can't ever get out of his own head unless somebody goes in and drags him out. Oh Aew used to do that for him but in this scene Oh Aew is simply another stressor for Teh. He simply can't do this with Oh Aew watching him, because he's lying to Oh Aew and guilty about it and fixated on not letting Oh Aew see.
Jai gets that immediately, and in a quick and dirty fashion goes in and drags Teh out, gives him something else to fixate on, something more useful to the scene. And as he does that, Teh relaxes. His body softens, his movements become more languid, his eyes focus instead of darting. The fact that Billkin can give us these two takes playing Teh as Akin, so two levels down, acting as an actor (Teh), and that actor also playing a role (Akin), is just...how is he only 21 and playing at this level?
I'm gushing over the acting, but I want to ask some meta questions as well. Are we supposed to believe that Teh is a good actor? Because he can't seem to make certain types of feeling believable unless he actually feels them. I know method and this whole idea of immersion in the character is supposed to be this elite technique, but I'm with Laurence Olivier on this: My dear boy, why don’t you just try acting? Acting is about pretending to be a character and making the audience believe. Teh can't pretend it seems, at least when it comes to making certain character emotions believable. And I think that's a function of the fact that Teh's own emotions are a complete mystery to him, so how can he understand his character's? If Teh is really going to become an actor, if this is truly his dream and not just something he has to do because he has nothing else, he will have to put real, sustained effort into understanding himself, knowing himself, which he has done basically everything to avoid across this entire story.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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mannn i gotta say although i knew jai was a sus snake from the get go and what he did was wrong, ep 4 made me realise i kinda relate to him the most?? dunno what that says about me tho lol. but ugh this ep gave me relief like the ball has finally dropped, the storm has finally hit. this breakup is the best thing that’s happened to them this season and this is probs the first time everyone is eagerly anticipating and wanting a couple to break up. i wonder if nadao planned it so we would feel like that.
I really would love for you to expand on that because I'm curious as to your experience and your take on Jai, but you don't have to if you don't want to. Yes, I also found this cathartic because I feel like this breakup was a long time coming and now it finally being here is like WE CAN MOVE FORWARD NOW. I feel like they probably would have been stuck in cycles of old patterns forever (self-immolation and burying of feelings, hurt and guilt) had this not gone down the way it did, and they needed to split up to be happy in the end, whether that is together or apart or friends or whatever. I may have wanted them to be together, can't lie about that but I'm actually okay with it not being the case for the story as told.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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I legit lit an aromatherapy candle and took a deep breath before I hit play...
GO HOME TEH.
What is this look Jai? Do you still have a twinge of conscience? Are you only a baby sociopath?
Oh Aew plotting your murder in the car honey.
O no baby, don't do this. Trust your gut.
THE FUCKING LOGBOOK I KNEW IT.
Teh ALWAYS immediately regrets the dumb shit he does but that never stops him from doing it and that is a problem.
He nearly had him. Nearly.
THE FUCKING LOGBOOK. Oh Aew bb is you sure you wanna see this?
So Jai was writing back? OMG this is even worse than I thought.
NOW you wanna avoid him? Teh honey you've turned your life into a mess.
Oh jeez this tension.
Acting is such a weird profession man.
Oh Aew came for ANSWERS. This LEWK though, can we talk about it? If you're gonna play detective in your cheating man's life, it's best to serve while doing it.
FEELING GUILTY TEH?
MOTHERFUCKER! JAI JAI JAI YOU RAT BASTARD! This is some snake shit and I 100% read Jai correctly last week. I HATE IT HERE.
Oh Aew may be a lil feelsy but he ain't dumb.
Jai's stomach just dropped but he tried to play it off.
YES BABY READ HIM!
Jai tryna gaslight him now, don't fall for it bb!
Oh Aew is now tired of the bullshit, coming in with the direct approach.
When you start with 'calm down' you already lost.
Don't fall for it baby. Start this way, it'll continue this way. You need to put a stop to it. Teh is not being honest here, he's not, and Oh Aew knows it too.
Ugh, this slow motion car crash breakup is not what I wanted to see, but there's no denying it's realistic. I've been Oh Aew in this situation.
Ugh, this after-the-play scene would've been so sweet if it wasn't so sad.
OH FUCK OUTTA HERE TEH. Oh Aew honey you have to leave. You have to LEAVE.
Oh Aew provoking and observing has always been a hallmark of his character.
Teh you have learned NOTHING. NOT. A. THING.
He can't stop himself. He just has absolutely zero impulse control.
Teh did you really think y'all were friends? The Artist has no friends, only muses, puppets and fans.
Jai is THAT guy. I don't buy that he feels bad about it either. I know so many men in the arts like this.
I DO feel sorry for Teh here for getting played so comprehensively, but only a little bit. He brought this all on himself.
HIT HIM A FEW MORE TIMES BB, I'LL HOLD YOUR PURSE.
That shoulda been messier and pettier, but I'm crying so I'll allow it.
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE TEH?
Q is an elite friend, except he shoulda threatened Teh with a switchblade and run him off. But I understand why he let him in in the end, they do need to talk because Oh Aew needs to end it.
These two never talk until it's all in pieces.
'I won't see Jai again' That's not what he was asking Teh, and you know it.
Yes. Break up. It's absolutely necessary.
Hurt and guilt. We're back here again.
Oh Aew bb you are right, dump him. Teh never knows the stove is hot until he gets burned and he NEVER learns that lesson either. This is the only way he might.
That's Teh's 'Oh Aew dumped me' shirt. Every time.
Man the costuming in this scene. Colour conversation finally, but Teh is trying to call back to Phuket Oh and Oh Aew is firmly Bangkok Oh.
Teh what's not clicking? You can't fix this. Leave.
Oh Aew really said EVERYTHING YOU OWN IN A BOX TO THE LEFT. If the sunset tee is in that box I will bawl.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE MEK WAS HEARTBROKEN TEH BECAUSE YOU DON'T ACTUALLY NOTICE ANYBODY YOU'RE TOO STUCK IN YOUR OWN SHIT.
I never thought we would see Mek again but this read he's giving is elite.
Mek is being nicer to Teh than I would be.
Oh Aew has now pulled out his own breakup shirt from the closet.
THE TALISMAN. RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FEELS.
Whew that first night alone in the bed after the breakup...you literally feel like you're dying.
Everybody needs a squad like this. Oh Aew always inspires love and loyalty in his friends because he has emotional intelligence.
When you've cried so much you don't even have tears anymore.
Teh's gonna get everything he wanted and have nobody to share it with.
Oh I knew this was coming. This was in the back of my mind from the time I saw the couple photo as his IG profile. I can't think of a single talent rep who would think that's a good idea.
Well I have no CLUE what to expect next week now.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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This episode was utterly cathartic for me, euphoric even. Roll on episode 5, give me whatever you want to give.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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Breaking down a pair of scenes: the Jai/Oh Aew and Jai/Teh confrontations...whew, this is gonna take me a minute to put into words, but incoming.
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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4 AM and I'm suddenly wide awake with a knot in my stomach.
Thank god this show is almost over because WHAT EVEN IS THIS?
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shortpplfedup · 3 years
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DODGING EVERY SPOILER BY FASTSCROLLING, MUTING, BLOCKING...WHATEVER IT TAKES. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW A GOTDAMN THING UNTIL I HIT PLAY.
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