#intracommunity discourse

[gay-jewish-bucky]

FYI Reform Jews do not need to know that non-Reform Jews disagree with how they've interpreted we approach Halacha, we know. Non-Reform Jews won't let us forget and feel the need to bring it up every single time they acknowledge our existence. It does nothing but show you fundamentally do not see us as equal to other Jews, even if you aren't conscious of it and think you're being respectful or kind.

#jumblr #jewish #intracommunity discourse #y'all are sooooo condicending #judaism

[bugbuoyx]

There is no good justification for suicide-baiting.

Full stop. I was actively suicidal for most of my life and did attempt at one point which ended in my hospitalization and forced therapy, which apparently saying all that makes you an expert on it.

Suicide-baiting is harassment and an act of violence, I refuse to even call it bullying because it is much worse. I still remember the name and face of the kid who told me to kill myself when I was 15, I don't even remember most of my teachers names, even the ones I liked, because of long term depression caused memory problems. I'm 24.

If you are blaming it on a mental illness, stop. You are not only actively contributing to society's negative views on mentally ill folks as inherently violent (despite being more likely to face violence than enact it) you're also just a fucking asshole. "But it's a symptom!" Yeah and you know what I do when I lash out? I fucking apologize because there are no excuses.

"But it's fine if they're a nazi/fascist/pedophile/rapist/etc." your definition of an acceptable target will broaden and broaden to encompass any group you hate, you will make excuses until any target is acceptable. Lies will be spread without proof to justify your hatred. Any asexual, aromantic, and bisexual person, amongst many other groups, will tell you how there have always been accusations of them being heterosexual invaders/ not truely queer. How many times have we seen accusations of pedophilia against trans folks from both within and outside the community? How many folks claim aromantic folks are rapists? That gay trans men are predators? What lows are you stooping to to justify your hate right now?

All of this is is made worse by the prevalence of hatred in a community already prone to extremely high rates of depression and suicide.

"We don't want that filth in our state" - Oklahoma senator on Nex Benedict's death.

That is what you sound like. Do better.

#lgbtq #harassment #suicide baiting #transgender #transmasc #transfem #intracommunity discourse #transmisogyny

[tiktokantisemites]

This post is specifically intracommunity stuff. I don’t want to see goyim being clowns in the tags. But I’ve got some examples of attitudes in the Jewish community that I feel encourage antisemites to continue their behaviour because “this Jewish guy on TikTok said it’s okay”.

The original post is by funcomfortable, a Jewish creator. He’s encouraged these comments in his comment section. Because American Ashkenazim obviously don’t have anything to be worried about, right? American Ashkenazim don’t know what antisemitism is, right?

And this is OP’s response. Stop encouraging people to discount antisemitism simply because it is being spoken about by white Ashkenazim. Whatever your intention, you are allowing someone who believes in the Khazar theory an opening to point at you and say “this Jew agrees with me”.

This isn’t a post where I’m debating any claims of indigenous status, because that is fully out of the scope of this blog. But funcomfortable? Should you see this, do better.

#jumblr #Judaism #Jewish #intracommunity discourse #tiktok antisemites

[a-romantic--aromantic]

I implore you to take a look at yourself and if you’re actually supportive of romo aros, or if it’s all just lip service. How many of your criticisms or romanticism hurt people in your own community. How often do you talk over people because of your repulsion or holier-than-thou attitude towards romance. I need romo aros to actually be supported and be bigger than just me to come back. I can’t do it alone anymore.

You guys dish out criticism that kicks out romo aros on the daily but you cant handle a mild comment in a joke format even once. Your commentary is getting seen from inside the house. Is it something you’d be proud to say to someone like me?

If you claim to support romo aros, I need you to actually do something about it. I need you to prove it. I cant be the only blog making shit for it anymore. Support your demis and cupios and romance favorables and your partnering aros and unspecified romo aros and just all of the other fucking aros that are out there. Go beyond the surface level support posts. Ask us about it. Talk about us and discuss how we give the aro community more depth and diversity. Lovelessness and green stripe aros arent the only aros out there. You’re not the only ones who matter. Do better.

#Do you care what aros you could be hurting or how you might be pushing people away from their identity? #Or is it just too cathartic to bother. #tags #intracommunity discourse #im exhausted #this has been a long time coming i think #it cant just be me you guys. it cant.

[sociallyanxiousdragon]

I hate posts like "support and love trans people especially trans women/fems" or "don't out trans people especially not trans women/fems"

Trans mascs and unaligned nonbinary people are not secondary in deserving of love and support and safety

I understand if you focus your activism on one group over another because there's only so much energy

And I understand if someone is talking about a very specific situation that *does* vastly affect one group more than another

But one group of trans people should not inherently be a lower priority, and if you're bringing both up, you need to not act like one is more deserving of help than another

(I'm not saying trans women are responsible for these posts -- I primarily see them from cis allies though trans people do also make them)

#jax yacks #queer discourse #intracommunity issues #transandrophobia #exorsexism

[starryjoy]

The absolute worst shit of any discourse over an identity being inherently worse than another is when someone from that identity agrees and closes themselves inside an echo chamber dedicated to shitting on people like them and they just keep repeating how it's real that they are awful.

Lately it's happening so much with transmascs. so many young transmascs are seeing words from radical feminists saying how men are inherently evil and how only women can ever be oppressed and somehow they eat this information right up, going to great lengths to protect people who want them dead.

And as a trans woman this is absolutely dreadful.

You are not helping anyone by saying how you do not matter. You are not helping anyone by saying you do not suffer. You are not helping anyone by denying yourself.

I will mark you as unsafe for me for now. But I wish you good luck.

#discourse #intracommunity issues #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisogyny

[elalmadelmar]

Man, I just do not vibe with that post that was like "if you're butch, you're obligated to throw yourself into dangerous situations to protect feminine queer folks."

Like, one, wtf? Butches are still human beings, not fantasy knights. Being butch doesn't mean signing up to put your life on the line! A crew cut isn't enlistment in the Armed Forces Of The Queer Agenda, thx.

And second, isn't that just the good old "men go to war, protecting the women" patriarchal bullshit binary transposed onto the queer community? Taking the folks who are busting through those arbitrary designations of gender roles and acting like it's fresh and progressive now that you've swapped out men for butches and women for femmes? It's still the same turd, just with a little new polish.

Femininity doesn't require vulnerability. Masculinity doesn't require sacrifice. Doesn't matter what language you dress them up in.

#sure it's nice when a butch steps up and does the thing #but it isn't REQUIRED of butchness #and to say that to be femme means you can't fight your own battles is horseshit #queer discourse #intracommunity issues #queerness #butchness #eadm originals

[textk4kira]

Csigender, straight aces exist and can date, have sex, get married, be homophobic, be transphobic. They are cisheteronormative. Bisexuals can't ever be straight and experience homophobia even when passing as straight. Cisgender, straight aces are literally straight and comparing bisexuals to straight people is BIPHOBIC.

HSSD has an exception for asexuals. HSSD is the SUDDEN loss of sexual attraction that CAUSES DISTRESS and is used primarily to diagnose men with erectile dysfunction. It is not conversion therapy to be prescribed viagra. Secondly, cisgender straight aces have not alwaysbeen included iin the LGBT community. In AVEN, people were exrperssing disgust at David Jay lumping aces in the community back in the early 2000s. So

No, excluding people is not a form of marginalization. Are women marginalized BY LGBT PEOPLE for excluding them from LGBT resourcse? No. Cisgender, straight aces are not marginalized by LGBT peopel for being excluded. Religious trauma is not an LGBT specific issue. You ahve still yet to list a single LGBT specific resource cisgender, straight people need.

LGBT support is not an LGBT resource. Feminists are allied wth the LGBT community but are not inherently a part of it. Cisgender,straight women still aren't queer just because theyre allied. You have yet to name a SINGLE tangible resource cisgender, straight aces need from Lesbian Gay Bi Trans people that they do not get from the ace community or aro community

No, address it. Do you think cisgender straight women who are not ace deserve LGBT resources if they are raped for not being sexually attracted to their rapist?

I'm literally trans. Comparing the exclusion of CISGENDER straight peple to that of trans poeple is transphobic.

Hello anon,

I have already addressed the points you made previously, and I will not waste time addressing you further. I will be turning off anonymous asks, for the time being.

If you would like to perpetuate ace/arophobia, you should have enough courage to do so off anon.

I am only posting this to highlight the ace/arophobia that exists within the lgbtqia+ community.

Sincerely,

A disabled, trans gray-aroace person.

#acephobia #aphobia #arophobia #ace discourse #intracommunity oppression #marginalization #queer #lgbtq #asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #ace people are valid

[aroace-cat-lady]

You know, it took me a long time to accept I'm aro. At first I tried to convince myself I was an ace heteroromantic pal, even though deep down I knew I was just scared of how an aro identity would impact my life.

It took a couple years to accept it, some more time to feel comfortable with it. A little longer to embrace it.

I cried a lot to get to that point. I cried when I read one character I really liked (a mexican boy who died at the end) was aro. I cried the night a friend asked me out. I cried that time I found out the writer of a series I adore was aroace. An actual person, who had created something I connected to, that felt so human and tangible and real.

I've always been louder about my aromantic identity than about being ace. Because it took so much learning and growth, because I hated it and was so afraid of it and now I cannot imagine being any other way. Because with every valentine's and every birthday I remember being a child and knowing the world wouldn't be kind to me for who I was.

Because that child was so terrified of the future it was impossible to even see one.

The world still is not kind to us. I know we've faced so much hostility lately. That it's hard to see a way out of it.

So this is for those who are afraid of who they are or are mad at the world for how we are treated, that feel alone scared and bitter.

I'm feral for you. It doesn't matter in which part of the spectrum you are. I'm so fucking feral for you. Please, never forget that.

We are in this together. We are here and we are loud and we aren't alone. We have each other.

There's still so much to fight for, but you aren't fighting on your own.

Even when it feels that way.

#ahhhhhhhh its aro friday!!!! #ive been the whole week wonderin if i should do something for aro week but ive been so busy with school and idk ive been extra bitter latel #if yall hadnt noticed lsmdlskdnls #the intracommunity discourse has been so frustrating lately im kinda Really bitter towards the aspec community (both ace and aro) #but. its aro week. and we ARE a community. ig i needed to remember that. #anyhow yall are awesome lets assault a bank together #aro week #aromantic awareness week #aromantic week #aro awareness week #aro week 2024 #actually aromantic #aro #aro spec #aro spectrum #aro things #aro thoughts #aromantic

[genderoutlaws]

Why has there been soooo much biphobic discourse this pride?? When has infighting ever helped us anyways

bruh literally i’ve unfollowed so many ppl on twitter this year over just insane takes hating on bisexuals fr no reason, idk why that was the pick for who to clown on this year lmao. love u tho bisexuals

#also Never infighting never helps with anything lol #like idk intracommunal discourse of a kind can be good in the way that like #its good to talk abt like racism and misogyny and transphobia and biphobia within the community #but im so tired of every year ppl spinning a wheel like ‘who will be Not Valid this year’ #bitch who the fuck gives a shit theyre taking away our healthcare

[gay-jewish-bucky]

I really think it's time for white functioning Jews to take a step back and honestly reflect on how quick some of you are to act like you're being oppressed when there are incredibly valid conversations being had about colourism, antisemitism, and racism within the Jewish community.

Examine why you feel victimized when experiences different to yours are spoken about. Examine why you need to centre yourself when racialized Jews speak about very real problems that need to be addressed. Instead of jumping down people's throats and making Jewish spaces unsafe and alienating for Jews of colour listen for once in your life.

If there are conversations you feel are important to have and you actually want people to listen, instead of centring yourself in a conversation about the oppression of racialized Jews and posing yourself as The Real Victim and willfully ignoring or denying the struggles faced by people who don't benefit from whiteness, you can start your own conversation literally anywhere else at any other time.

#jumblr #jewish #judaism #intracommunity discourse #goyim don't touch #racism #antisemitism #you are part of the problem #not being nice #grow up

[mogai-sunflowers]

I’ve been bullied my whole life but none of my bullies ever compared to the exclusionists I’ve dealt with. it’s just so fucking ridiculous that I come here for a safe community and all I get is people saying I’m a predator for EXISTING. this happens to every queer who doesn’t fit the little narrative that corporations sell. I’m not welcome if I’m too visibly autistic because what if that means that I prove that the homophobes are right about us all being a disorder? I can’t be a trans guy AND a bi femme because what if I’m the reason other trans men get feminized? My Black friend can’t be as loud and proud as he wants, because what if he’s just a little *too* loud for the cops that line the streets at Pride? We can’t be QUEER, I can just be gay.

my good friend doesn’t go to pride because he doesn’t feel safe there as a Black person, especially Prides with heavy policing with whom the organizers of Pride actually ALLY. Another good friend can’t go because they get too many dirty looks for their wheelchair. I’ve been called the r slur by more queer people than even by my parents, but hey, they’re queer too, right? So I’ve just got to let it slide, or I risk making someone else uncomfortable, right? But what about me? What if I and so many others are ALREADY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE? What about our comfort? Or are you just so desperate for acceptance that you shit on the people who would actually give you that acceptance?

exclusionism is not a trend of just the Internet age. This respectability politics didn’t start with online fights, it started with the violent exclusion of queer poc and trans people from mainstream gay organizations in America. Then it was bi people, then aspec people, now it’s neopronouns and xenogenders and bi lesbians. I am NOT comparing being against bi lesbians to racism and transphobia, but I am saying that it’s absolutely ridiculous to ignore how this trend of exclusionism began. To ignore the past is to endanger the future.

Pride has never TRULY been a safe space for everyone, and until it is, we’re LOSING!!!!!! I believe in queer solidarity but I don’t believe in using the term solidarity to silence any complaint that a more marginalized queer person has. Queer solidarity is for when you actually put your money where your mouth is and show up for other queers. It’s not demanding justice only when it’s convenient for you.

cops don’t belong at pride, but disabled people, people of color, people of all religions, people of all backgrounds DO.

#🌌when the stars align ; reigns rambles🌌 #tw discourse #pride #queer discourse #intracommunity issues #exclusionism #anti exclusionist

[earlgraytay]

@ceanothusspinosis asked me to explain how internet community harassment is spiritual abuse. long post is long, caveat lector, hit J to skip, you know the drill.

first, we need to define some terms. spiritual abuse is a specific form of emotional abuse that most often happens in religious communities and/or cults. it's a colloquial term, so there's no official definition of it.

the best definition of spiritual abuse I can find is that it's emotional abuse that uses your spiritual beliefs to make you comply.

the classic examples of spiritual abuse are things like "a cult leader demands you give them your stuff/sex/personal information because God Wants You To", "your religion demands that you pray the gay away", and "the members of your religion shun or harass you if you break the religion's rules."

the thing that's uniquely damaging about spiritual abuse, beyond the usual consequences of emotional abuse, is that a spiritual abuser re-defines your most deeply-held beliefs specifically to hurt you. if you want to, say, be a Good Christian, a spiritual abuser will tell you that being a Good Christian means giving up your freedom of choice, your sense of right and wrong, your right to your own thoughts, your consent, your personal possessions, and sometimes even your body. You have to choose- do you accept your abuser's definition (and let yourself be hurt), or do you reject it (and thus reject what you're being told are your most deeply held beliefs)?

this can get even nastier when an entire community is abusive, or when you don't share the same beliefs as the spiritual abuser. you are under an intense amount of pressure to change your beliefs into a more convenient shape, one that makes you easier to control. if you don't change your beliefs, they hurt you. if you don't let someone else define what's important to you, how you think, how you act? they hurt you. with every tool they have and with everything that matters most to you. over. and over. and over again. your only choices are to give in or leave your community. and both feel like dying.

change your beliefs, the spiritual abuser says, or you are Bad, and we must hurt you.

the really shitty thing about spiritual abuse is that it's not actually about any given belief, it's about control. it's about making sure the individual never questions the leader or the community. it's about keeping everyone in line. it's about giving the community a safety valve- somewhere to put all their rage at having to live up to an abusive religion, a target that they can hurt with malevolent glee. it will never end, because an abuser will never be satisfied with the amount of control they have over you.

you will always be asked to twist the things you believe into a shape that makes you easier to control, always asked to find some new thing that you're not allowed to enjoy, always told to hate a new group of people. it won't end unless you leave. and if you leave, there's the threat that they'll hurt you even if you never speak to them again, because you're Forever Bad Now.

...ideological internet harassment, especially intracommunity harassment, works on the same goddamn principle.

let me give you an example. say you're a trans-positive feminist. you post something on twitter that's trans-positive. a TERF mob finds you and starts harassing you- arguing with you while constantly moving the goalposts, insulting you in every way imaginable, and maybe even sending you death threats. they'll accuse you of being an anti-feminist or a libfem; they'll tell you you're not really a feminist at all.

if you're a feminist, obviously, this is extremely distressing. for a lot of us Extremely Online Folks, our belief in justice and equality is way more important than any religious beliefs we might hold. you're being told that you're bad at living up to your most fundamental beliefs, by a huge group of people. and if you don't immediately apologize and go full TERF, they threaten to never stop.

there is an implicit ultimatum with TERF harassment: change your most deeply held beliefs, or you are Bad, and we must hurt you.

if you don't change your beliefs, they hurt you. if you don't let someone else define what's important to you, how you think, how you act? they hurt you. with every tool they have and with everything that matters most to you. over. and over. and over again. even once the great mass of the group has found a new target, you'll still get some shit from the most fanatical haters. until you publically grovel or log off, they will keep hurting you.

and the more I think about it, the more I see the same pattern in just about every kind of intracommunity internet harassment. change your most deeply-held beliefs, or you are an acceptable punching bag. let us define what's important to you, or you're Bad and we'll punish you. and it's never about a specific belief- it's about control. it's about making sure that anyone who steps a little bit away from their specific microcommunity's consensus gets Punished. there's that same malevolent glee to it, that same pressure-release that lets a toxic community keep being toxic without turning that anger inward. and there's that same never-ending cycle of harassment, of some new Problematic thing that you have to hate, of someone who's the main character of twitter Forever Bad Now and Must Be Hurt.

you see it in queer communities. you see it in feminist and ~alpha male~ communities. you see it with TERFs and trans folks, antishippers and proshippers, tankies and anarchists. this kind of ideology-focused spiritual abuse is fucking everywhere, and if there's any overlap between a community you're in and someone who has any difference in strongly-held beliefs? you might fall victim to it.

the reason I've been thinking about it is that, as An Internet Creative Person, I'm real likely to fall prey to this kind of harassment. if you ask for any kind of visibility, you make yourself a target. if you're part of any kind of ~community~ - and on the internet, "being visibly trans" counts- you make yourself a target.

...I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to avoid this kind of harassment. there are stories I've floated around writing that I've just avoided writing, because they will make people Mad At Me. fuck, I'm scared to write anything with a transmasc protagonist, much less one who isn't Traditionally Heroic. because i will get harassed for it. i'm scared about talking about the game i'm doing freelance work for, because some of the costume designs are.... Problematique. i spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to keep people on the internet from being mad at me.

you can't negotiate with spiritual abusers. there is nothing you can do to make them not be mad at you. they do not care what you're actually doing or why you're doing it. they want control; they want a pressure release. you're just a means to an end.

and like, i knew this intellectually before. but framing it as spiritual abuse really drove it home for me, y'know? it's not just ~bullying~, it's not just ~being problematic~. it's a system of abuse i've seen before. i know how to deal with it- the only way to deal with it is Not Giving A Fuck What They Think Anymore and ignoring every word they say.

#spiritual abuse #purity culture #internet harassment #internet culture #the discourse #the disk horse rides eternal #general malarkey #tumblr malarkey #terf malarkey #terf mention #intracommunity issues #the earl speaks #the earl has an opinion #long post is long

[a-romantic--aromantic]

because im having a bad as fuck day i will mention that despite aurea having “distanced” itself from arocalypse i cannot in any way shape or form feel comfortable interacting after how i was treated as a greyro by several of the people who remain in aurea!

people who told me i wasnt allowed to call myself aro <3333 my favorite. i want to volunteer with aurea and i have asked to help with their glossary but im uncomfortable with most mentions after they made my life living hell and promoted an arophobe! <333 gotta love watching aurea not take into account that a person actively bullied aros in public and in real life and on their discourse side blog because. wouldnt you know if they claim to be aro now despite being blocked by a bunch of aros. thats enough to promote their voice!

anyways, i will not turn to aurea for help or advice because while they attempt to decolonize i havent seen any accountability for past actions regarding arospecs. if youre going to mention your past connection to them you better acknowledge all aspecs of how that discord server worked

#neg #intracommunity discourse #vent #fuckin feral today #aggressive as hell #sorry about that #rambles

[butchshevik]

psa if youre ever going to add a stupid oppositional one-liner to a post i reblog consider just unfollowing me and screenshotting it to make your quippy comments about something im clearly taking very seriously instead of forcing me to read bullshit i obviously wont agree with and that will not change my mind like some sort of pathetic attention-starved loser lmao

#people with bad opinions on intracommunity discourse and people who have no interpersonal skills venn diagram still looking pretty circular! #also for the record saying you want butches to be violent towards you as a Sex Thing ;;;;) as your epic pwn is a bad look! js

[cliveguy]

out of all the strange people i get on my twitter timeline i have to say cis people who are deeply invested in trans discourse baffle me the most. what are you doing here.

#um.txt #there are two types: the ones who spend all day arguing with terfs and the ones who get invested in intracommunity discourse #both are strange and annoying