#intimate partner violence

[laufire]

THERAPISTS AND EVALUATORS We need to take a large step back in time for a moment, to the early part of Freud’s era, when modern psychology was born. In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his , he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood incest victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest. Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology. According to this theory any young girl actually desires sexual contact with her father, because she wants to compete with her mother to be the most special person in his life. Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of incestuous abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for when they were children and that the women had come to believe were real. This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men. Once abuse was denied in this way, the stage was set for some psychologists to take the view that any violent or sexually exploitative behaviors that couldn’t be denied—because they were simply too obvious—should be considered mutually caused. Psychological literature is thus full of descriptions of young children who “seduce” adults into sexual encounters and of women whose “provocative” behavior causes men to become violent or sexually assaultive toward them.

–"Why does he do that?: inside the minds of angry and controlling men.“, by Lundy Bancroft. Chapter 11, Abusive Men and Their Allies.

#talking to the void #quotes #books #why does he do that #current issues #intimate partner violence

[rapeculturerealities]

Two Women Died on an Alaska Mayor’s Property. No One Has Ever Been Charged. — ProPublica

Kirk and Norton, both Inupiaq, had each dated sons of the former borough mayor, and the sons had previously been convicted of beating each of them. One of the sons had admitted to strangling Kirk twice before. Another pleaded guilty to kicking Norton in the stomach when she was six months pregnant.

No one has ever been charged with a crime in connection to the deaths.

In a state where women are 2.5 times more likely than the national average to be killed by a man and Alaska Native women are especially at risk, elected leaders here have repeatedly pledged action. The Department of Justice declared a rural law enforcement emergency in Alaska following a 2019 report by the Anchorage Daily News and ProPublica on glaring lapses in local policing. Two years later, the governor created a state council on Missing and Murdered Indigenous Persons, and in 2022, new investigators were hired to solve cases like Norton’s.

Unexplained holes in the investigations into the deaths of Kirk and Norton call into question this commitment, a review by the Anchorage Daily News and ProPublica found. More than that, the events leading up to the women’s deaths illustrate how police, prosecutors and judges here have regularly given pass after pass to people accused of domestic violence and strangulation.

#Kirk #Norton #mmiw #Inupiaq #Tw murder #Domestic violence #intimate partner violence

[intersectionalpraxis]

"Under a Missouri statute that has recently gained nationwide attention, every petitioner for divorce is required to disclose their pregnancy status. In practice, experts say, those who are pregnant are barred from legally dissolving their marriage. “The application [of the law] is an outright ban,” said Danielle Drake, attorney at Parks & Drake. When Drake learned her then husband was having an affair, her own divorce stalled because she was pregnant. Two other states have similar laws: Texas and Arkansas."

"Missouri is particularly restrictive when it comes to reproductive health and autonomy. It was one of the first to ban abortion after Roe v Wade was overturned in 2022, including in cases of rape and incest. Research shows that abortion restrictions can effectively give cover to reproductive coercion and sexual violence: the National Hotline for Domestic Violence said it saw a 99% increase in calls during the first year after the loss of the constitutional right to abortion."

"Advocates are currently trying to gather enough signatures to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot that would make abortion legal until fetal viability, or around 24 weeks."

"In Missouri, homicide was the third leading cause of deaths in connection with pregnancy between 2018–2022, the majority (75%) of which occurred among Black women, according to a 2023 report by the Missouri department of health and senior services, which examines maternal mortality data. In every case, the perpetrator was a current or former partner. And in 2022, 23,252 individuals in the state received services after reporting domestic violence, according to the latest reporting from Missouri Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence, which compiles data from direct service providers in the state."

The dystopia we speak of -across many of issues that women and marginalized folks face is HERE already. This is terrifying.

#feminist #feminism #social justice #current events #current news #missouri #missouri law #united states #partner abuse #tw abuse #intersectionality #intersectional feminism #violence against women #intimate partner violence #intimate partner abuse #divorce #relationship #us law #important #information #pregnancy #gender violence #bodily autonomy #womens rights #reproductive freedom #abortion is healthcare

[socialjusticeinamerica]

#sanctuary for families #intimate partner violence #roe v wade #unplanned pregnancies #homicicide of pregnant women #reproductive health #reproductive rights #reproductive justice #abortion rights #republican assholes #Republican rapists

[odinsblog]

Remember, Megan Thee Stallion wasn’t the one who took sorry ass Tory Lanez to court - that was the state. It turns out that there are laws against shooting people. And Megan was a victim of domestic violence. It’s really sad seeing all the people victim blaming Megan for the “sin” of getting shot by Tory, and for not perjuring herself to protect her abuser.

#megan thee stallion #tory lanez #gun violence #abuser logic #victim blaming #dv #domestic violence #intimate partner violence #darvo

[wishcamper]

Don't Worry Feyre, Darling: the relationship anxiety to coersive control pipeline

CW: emotional abuse, reproductive abuse

Creds: licensed counselor with focus in addiction, trauma, and gay stuff; experience in group and family counseling, mandated DV clients, and abuse victim support.

Before the mob comes: I am not pro or anti Rhys, and I think his contradictions say much more about SJM than anything. I also believe it’s possible for a fandom to reclaim/rewrite a character who has been massacred by an author.

We’re going to begin at Rhys helping Feyre during an extremely dark place in both their lives. We’re going to end at him withholding vital medical information from her for the sake of “protecting her”. But first, some context.

Inside all of the (amazing) drama around the 2022 movie Don’t Worry, Darling , was a story that is pretty well worn at this point: men deciding they know what’s best for women and giving it to them whether they like it or not. In the movie, Florence Pugh’s Alice lives inside a computer simulation where she is the modern equivalent of a 50s housewife: dresses, calisthenics, martinis, “making a roast”. (She also gets eaten out by Harry Styles but that doesn’t seem to be an explicit part of the world’s design.) The problem? She doesn’t know she’s in the simulation. Harry Styles, in between all the cunnilingus, drugged her and put her in the program against her will. Yikes! Why!

The movie explains that he believed their life in the real world was miserable, and that he was saving her from that by giving her this perfect life. She should be grateful, if anything! What he doesn’t tell her, but that we see, is that Harry Styles also seems to struggle with a sense of inadequacy for not being able to provide. He is failing to live up to personal and cultural standards of manhood but, instead of dismantling those standards, he makes it his wife’s problem by kidnapping and brainwashing her consciousness. Hm. Interesting strategy. Let’s see how it works out for him.

With Rhysand, his motives in the beginning are more understandable - he initiates rescuing Feyre from the very real danger of Tamlin and her own mental decline. He feels justified breaking whatever magic law because of his own experiences being trapped and believing people should have a choice about where they go and who they are. He emphasizes over and over that these choices are Feyre’s and that she has freedom with him. We see through ACOMAF that helping her gives him a sense of purpose after the trauma UTM. His friends remark on how Feyre brought him back to life, never questioning and even encouraging this pattern.

But Rhys clearly has a lot of anxiety about his relationships and closeness in general. He mentions on several occasions that people around him tend to suffer because of him, and how afraid he is of doing that to Feyre. She is very receptive to this and puts effort into proving him wrong. He finds safety in the bubble of their relationship that probably feels pretty fucking good. The unfortunate side effect of this is that instead of processing and resolving his own anxiety, he directs it through Feyre and his love for her. Meanwhile, he keeps his anxious maneuvers behind the scenes, like not telling her about the bond, taking her to the Weaver, encouraging her to learn to read, to train. It may be genuinely helping her, but there’s also this sense of ‘I know what you need better than you do’. And again, nobody questions this.

We flirt with this tension at the beginning of ACOMAF when Rhys enforces their bargain from UTM. As the reader, at that point, we are supposed to believe this is cruel of him. He interrupts her wedding for fucks sake, throw your shoe at him girl! But over time we start to feel like it’s okay because Feyre secretly wanted it, it’s ultimately for her own good. Rhys is the most powerful High Lord in history, I’m sure he could’ve figured out a way to break the bargain, but he didn’t. In fact he engineered a situation where she'd be at his mercy. Why? Because Rhys was worried about Feyre, felt her deteriorating through the bond. Because of that, he felt justified in coming to collect. Personally, I have no opinion about whether crashing the wedding was the right or wrong thing to do. But it does set up, at least in the world of the book, that removing someone’s autonomy is okay if it’s for their own good, if the ends justify the means. In fact, that overstep ends up being the road to Feyre’s life in the NC and her love with Rhysand, a love that is so great she willingly tethers her very life to it. Even in ACOWAR we see how their relationship is a way he regulates his anxiety *cough*battlefield blowjob*cough*. He gets used to Feyre’s health and happiness being his source comfort and can continue to avoid dealing with his own shit internally.

In his seminal work Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft, a specialist in treatment of abuse perpetrators, debunks the various myths about what causes abuse and why it happens. His thesis is disarmingly simple: people abuse because they believe it’s justified. He says one of the signs of abuse escalation is “a growing attitude that he knows what is good for her better than she does”. Bancroft also notes that abuse is so hard to spot because “most abusive men don’t seem like abusers” (emphasis his) and that abusive men have periods of being charming, funny, even kind. Abusive men often don’t see themselves as such, because the strategy works for them - they feel good when they displace their emotional problems onto someone else.(1)

And then Feyre gets pregnant with a baby that could kill her. Besides the fact they really should have talked about this before trying for a baby given Rhys is mixed race (Cassian and Nesta too, but that’s a whole other post), Rhys claims a sense of ownership over his wife and child almost immediately. He’s constantly being described as smug and glowing with male pride. Even when he’s not smarmy, he’s consumed with his own ideas about protecting them and can’t hear the protests of others. We see his anxiety morph into more overt control in attempt to handle the situation. He believes he’s justified in keeping the danger from Feyre because he doesn’t want to stress her out. But that is not about Feyre, that’s about Rhys. HE is scared, HE is lost, and so he makes a decision on her behalf to lessen the burden he’s already carrying, whether he’s aware of it or not. He must keep her in a happy bubble else how is he supposed to go on.

Don’t Worry, Darling is at least critical of this ‘I know better’ motive even if the movie is stupid, and Harry Styles gets some frontier justice in the form of a whiskey glass to the back of the dome. But ACOSF condones Rhys’ actions and even insinuates our main character is deserving of death for calling him out. Bancroft writes that “part of how the abuser escapes confronting himself is by convincing you that you are the cause of his behavior”. He wouldn’t HAVE to do this if you just TRUSTED HIM.

But here’s what I think. I think Rhys has walked down a path of using his relationship to balance his internal conflict. Anxiety is a force in every relationship, but with Feyre he must maintain her beautiful life where she never worries in order to feel safe himself. I can have empathy for this, kind of - he’s suffered significant losses and it’s understandable he feels protective of those he loves. I think about celebrities with non-famous spouses, and how they avoid talking about them because they don’t want the scrutiny. I believe Rhys thinks he’s genuinely doing right by Feyre. But Rhys is so averse to his own anxiety that he can’t let himself trust anyone else to resolve it. He can’t let go of Feyre as his safe space and almost condemns her to die because of it.

And this is how, ultimately, Rhys traps himself. He tries to create a bubble where Feyre can never leave him, and ends up signing both their death warrants. I hope the world of fan fiction can redeem him, because I really don’t think Sarah can.

And yes, I know it’s faerie porn and it’s not that deep. But this is a series marketed toward an audience at risk of abuse and intimate partner violence. Bancroft lays out key points at the end of the book that feel particularly relevant to the larger conversation:

“Once we tear the cover of excuses, distortions, and manipulations off abusers, they suddenly find abuse much harder to get away with.

If Mothers Against Drunk Driving can change culture’s indifference to alcohol-related automotive deaths, we can change culture’s attitude toward partner abuse.

Everyone has a role to play in ending abuse.

If you are trying to assist an abused woman, get help and support yourself as well

All forms of chronic mistreatment in the world are interwoven. When we take one apart, all the rest start to unravel as well.”

Why Does He Do That? , Lundy Bancroft. https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

#acotar #acomaf #acosf #rhys critical #feysand is dysfunctional #don't kill me #intimate partner violence #why does he do that? #prythian university #sjm critical

[woundgallery]

Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men's Violence, and Women's Lives by Dee L.R. Graham

#dee l.r. graham #intimate partner violence #domestic violence #literature #the human custom of wrong love #trauma bonding #cognitive distortions #text #once the subject has identified the experience as love it is love #romantic love was invented to manipulate women #expiring for love is beautiful but stupid

[bumblee-stumblee]

"How a child custody battle becomes an extension of coercive control.

Post-separation control is a form of abuse used by abusive men to exercise control over the woman after the marriage or relationship has ended. It is embedded in a power and control cycle.

Control tactics can include dragging women through expensive litigation, harassment during visitation, gas lighting, legal silencing, isolation, and using children to harass. child contact provides coercive control-perpetrating fathers with opportunities to continue their abuse of children and ex-partners."

Pdf: When Coercive Control Continues to Harm Children: Post-Separation Fathering, Stalking and Domestic Violence

Pdf: The System Had Choked Me Too

If this sounds familiar, it's because a version of this happened to Amber Heard.

This is a tactic that is almost exclusively used by men to punish and entrap women.

#domestic abuse and violence #radblr #radfems #feminist #radfem #radfems please interact #feminism #radical feminist #ipv #intimate partner violence

[anthroxlove]

#nicole brown #domestic violence #domestic abuse #intimate partner violence #sophia bush #oj simpson #amber heard #i stand with amber heard #anti johnny depp #johnny depp

[laufire]

People who are attracted to power and tend to abuse it have important common ground with a man who abuses women. For example, a dictatorial boss is bound to encounter some occasions when an employee finally gets fed up enough to swear at her, stomp out of the office, and quit. A manager who coerces his female subordinates into sexual contact with him may get reported for sexual harassment sooner or later. The abuser of power feels outraged when his or her victims attempt to defend themselves in these ways and considers them to be the unreasonable or aggressive ones. So it is not surprising that such a person, when looking at a woman who is complaining of abuse by a man, might have the following thoughts: “This woman is another one of those people who likes the role of victim. I know what they’re like because I have to deal with them myself: They are never grateful no matter how much you do for them; they don’t know their place; and everything turns into an accusation of mistreatment.” The abuser of power thus may personalize the woman’s resistance to oppression and feel a strong desire to retaliate on behalf of the abusive man, and in fact I have often observed this disturbing eagerness among some professionals to jump on abused women with both feet. Their statements have sometimes confirmed to me that they do indeed have the kind of thought process I have just described—coupled of course with the usual myths regarding women’s hysterical exaggerations and their provocation of men’s abuse.

–"Why does he do that?: inside the minds of angry and controlling men.“, by Lundy Bancroft. Chapter 11, Abusive Men and Their Allies.

#talking to the void #quotes #books #why does he do that #current issues #intimate partner violence

[rapeculturerealities]

Police fatally shoot Black woman who called 911 for domestic violence | Los Angeles | The Guardian

A Los Angeles county sheriff’s deputy shot and killed a 27-year-old woman who had called 911 to report that she was under attack by a former boyfriend, police officials and lawyers for the victim’s family said on Thursday. Records show the deputy had killed another person in similar circumstances three years ago.

#California #Domestic violence #intimate partner violence #Black women #Racism #Misogynoir #Police #Tw murder

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Kingston city councillor and deputy mayor Wendy Stephen was one of three councillors that spoke passionately Tuesday evening about a motion to declare intimate partner violence an epidemic. “As community leaders I think it’s important for us to be clear in our message to the people living in these complicated relationships, you are not alone,” stated Stephen when the motion was before council. Stephen moved the motion and it was seconded by Kingston Mayor Bryan Paterson. Council passed the motion unanimously and joined a growing number of of municipalities in Ontario making the declaration.

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

#Kingston #Domestic abuse #intimate partner violence #Feminism #Ontario #cdnpoli #canada #canadian politics

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

More:

My brother was with a girl who threw things at him and constantly hit him. And he would just stand there and take it because he didn't want to hit her back knowing what the result would be. My sisters didn't like that so they went after her. Huge fight among them, but my brother still didn't break up with her. She finally chose drugs over him and left. At least for my brother we all believed him. But I doubt other people would.

His current GF (might be an ex now, waiting to hear back), hit him and then threatened to tell the cops he hit her. She's an alcoholic and would fight everyone. She went after my niece and they called the cops, and the first thing the cops did when they got there was arrest my brother, who had just gotten home from work. My mom came out screaming at them that he didn't do anything. But that's how bad it is, they go after the first male they see for a domestic violence case when it was between two women,!

-

I was 15, sexually abused by my manager at my first job, one of the biggest fast food joints, Not once, but four times. Someone spotted the abuse and reported it to corporate and she got a promotion. I quit and my father ignored it. Police said the company handled it. Men who are abused are ignored... because it’s not “supposed to be possible”

-

I once had to do a presentation for a gender studies sort of course, and so having a friend who was abused by his girlfriend I chose to discuss the double standard in physical abuse. You'd think I was the devil incarnate - the women in the class glared and glared and glared for me raising the possibility that a woman hitting a man should be taken seriously.

-

My dad went through something like this. She threw plates and a bunch of other random objects at him, he was bleeding in several places and she called the police.

Despite that me and all of her kids told police that she was the aggressor they didn't care. He was arrested and a restraining order was on him before he even got out a few days later. We ended up homeless and lived in an old boxing ring for about 2 weeks before our local church helped out.

It was also his 3rd time dealing with police completely ignoring him when a woman was aggressive. It made me feel like women could just do anything they want as I grew up and I completely avoided them and relationships in general for a long time.

I'm 38 now and it still makes me uneasy

-

I lost my virginity bc a girl (who I had said NO to) mounted up and rode me while I was passed out drunk. I woke up from what I thought was a wet dream finishing inside her with no protection. It messed with me pretty hard because I'd been trying to save my virginity for a serious girlfriend or someone other than just some girl I barely knew. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea if I was about to be an unwilling father (thankfully that was not the case).

My friends just kind of said "well...at least you got laid, right?". I can't really blame them because it took a while (like, years) for me to even realize that what happened was clearly rape. Wrapping our college-age heads around the fact a guy could get raped was tough, I guess.

I also got sexually harassed by a pair of women at a job in college and telling people about it was met with attempts to high-five me.

-

Laughed at, mocked, put down. Even had video of her hitting/kicking/ abusing me and people just made fun of me and the situation even worse. It was not real to them.

-

The sexual abuse hotline counselor asked me if I was even into women when I told her what happened and then made excuses for her bc “she was drunk and acting on instinct”.

-

Tried to tell a few people. No one really believed me in my circle of friends. They were able to convince their friends that I was the abuser. The last straw was when they used a taser. That shit hurts and left burns. That truly was the last straw because it left enough evidence that I could use to document the abuse and get out. Without physical evidence it was word against word and as the male, no one believed me.

-

They didn’t believe me at first. And then they saw her do it to me. Her friends believed me before my own friends did. They said that they knew she was like that and that she was aggressive and physically abusive to them sometimes and her own mother.

I was with her for 18 months of hell. At first it was normal and cute and fun and then she started being really strange. First it was telling me I couldn’t have friends who are girls. Then it was I couldn’t have friends. Then it was the hitting and punching and kicking me. She said she was pregnant before she was pregnant and didn’t let me use protection with her and if I wasn’t into fucking her then she’d just fuck me anyways.

The kicker that really stuck with me all these years is when she was beating the fuck out of me and accidentally called her mom and she heard her yelling and screaming and thought I was hurting her so she called the police and her parents and police both showed up at my house asking if everything was okay and if I was hurting her. She said confidently “He didn’t hurt me I was hitting him” and the police and her parents both just kinda accepted that and told her to leave my house and go back to her parents for the night. No arrests. No talking to her about how wrong it was. Just a slap on the wrist after flat out telling police she was hitting me. Didn’t ask if I wanted to press charges. Didn’t ask if I was okay. Just were relieved it wasn’t me hitting her.

-

I had been attacked by now ex wife. I said something that made her mad and it wasn't the first time. She hit me in the back of the head with a rolling pin. I yelled and the neighbors called the cops. When they arrived I was still beading. I was then handcuffed and sat on the curb while they investigated the issue. My ex eventually confessed she hit me because she was mad at me. I never raised a hand at her during the incident but I was then taken to the police station and I was booked. I was released the next day after they determined i wasn't the aggressor. I was told on my release that if I antagonize her again its my fault and I deserve what I get.

-

Continued:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jidoph/men_who_are_abused_by_woman_and_tried_to_tell/

=

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duluth_model

The feminist theory underlying the Duluth Model is that men use violence within relationships to exercise power and control.

According to the Duluth Model, "women and children are vulnerable to violence because of their unequal social, economic, and political status in society."

Criticism of the Duluth Model has centered on the program's sexist insistence that men are perpetrators who are violent because they have been socialized in a patriarchy that condones male violence, and that women are victims who are violent only in self-defense.

https://home.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/htdocs/assaults_bib343_201307.doc

Abstract: This bibliography examines 343 scholarly investigations; 270 empirical studies and 73 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.  The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 440,850.

#SystemicSexism

#The Tin Men #intimate partner violence #abusive women #violent women #male victims #domestic violence #feminist theory #duluth model #systemic sexism #misandry #tHe PaTrIaRcHy #religion is a mental illness

[odinsblog]

T/W femicide, domestic violence, death

Dora Howell filed her lawsuit in 2011, where she described in painstaking detail the abuse she suffered at the hands of an ex-boyfriend beginning in 2008.

She stated that police violated the Domestic Violence Intervention Act by not arresting Andre Gaskin, against whom Howell had EIGHT orders of protection.

Dora first reported abuse at the hands of Andre Gaskin in 2008 when she was pregnant with their child. She lived on the floor below him in a building in Brooklyn.

She stated that he threw her to the floor and kicked her stomach, causing her to bleed and require hospitalization.

In response, Howell filed an order of protection against Gaskin.

Between September and November 2008, Dora called the police NINE times to say that Gaskin was violating that order by contacting her, showing up at her door and assaulting her.

Each time police arrived, Dora would show them the order of protection.

Instead of arresting Gaskin, police would say they would remove him from the premises; yet each time they allowed him to go back to his apartment upstairs.

One night, Andre Gaskin used a metal pipe to bang on Dora Howell’s door, breaking the lock in an attempt to force his way inside.

Instead of arresting Gaskin, police asked Howell, “Why don’t you move? Why don’t you go stay somewhere else if this keeps happening?”— and made demands, saying they’d arrest Howell if she called them again.

Weeks later, Dora called police several times to report that Andre Gaskin was breaking the protective order.

On the first occasion, Officers Mosely-Lawrence and Meran responded and waited until Gaskins uncle picked him up.

The following morning, as Dora was about to enter her apartment, she heard Gaskin inside.

Gaskin was speaking on the phone in Howell’s apartment, arranging for someone to assault and rob her.

Dora recorded him through the door, left the building, and called 911 from outside, explaining what she had overheard and recorded.

According to Dora, Gaskin’s uncle “is something . . . I don’t know if he’s a detective.” Dora testified that the uncle came around “all the time,” always dressed in a suit, was known to the responding officers, and that Gaskin was treated specially because the officers knew his uncle and treated him deferentially.

According to court documents, officers have not disputed those facts.

A week later, Andre Gaskin dragged Dora Howell by her hair up the stairs and into his apartment.

There, he physically assaulted her.

When she went to the window to yell for police to help, Gaskin said, “You want help? I’ll send you for help,”before throwing her outside of his THIRD floor apartment window.

When Andre Gaskin threw Dora Howell out of his third floor apartment building, she landed on a wheelchair ramp leading to her building.

Her knee, pelvis and hip were broken, and her spine was fractured.

She stayed in the hospital for over a month, undergoing multiple surgeries.

Dora Howell sued the city and the two officers alleging negligence in 2011. The state Supreme Court ordered the city to produce the officers for deposition THREE times, each time they failed to comply with the courts order.

Instead, in 2012 they filed to dismiss the complaint.

In August 2009, Andre Gaskin was arrested for the assault and for his violations of the orders of protection. He pleaded guilty to charges of assault and criminal contempt in April 2010.

👉🏿 https://gothamist.com/news/she-called-nypd-about-domestic-violence-for-years-they-found-her-dead-in-a-basement

👉🏿 https://www.courtlistener.com/opinion/8516085/dora-howell-v-city-of-new-york/

#say her name #blacklivesmatter #dora howell #guns #femicide #dv #domestic violence #nypd #mynypd #defund the police #restraining orders #intimate partner violence #gun violence

[vitalventing]

Missing your abusive ex is so confusing. Obviously I don’t miss the way I was treated but I miss who he was on the good days, I miss parts of his personality and the way he thought and moved himself. I still care for him, even though he has been so awful to me. What do I do with these feelings??

#ipv #dv #abuse #abuse victim #abuse survivor #abusive #toxic relationship #abusive relationship #intimate partner violence #domestic violence #domestic abuse #missing abusive ex #emotional abuse #mental abuse #psychological abuse #toxic ex #abusive ex