day flower (alternate ending) … park jongseong
SYNOPSIS. bent over the sink, coughing up petals and blood, you knew that your worst fears had come true.
PAIRING. jay x fem!reader
GENRE. fluff, angst, lovers2?, established!relationship (?), hanahaki au
WARNINGS. profanity, mentions of food, mentions of blood, quite a lot of kissing, possibly making out (?), one mention of loss of weight, graphic, mcd(?), death(?) !!not proofread!!
WORD COUNT. 1.6k (total :: 7k)
NOTE. i just wanted to write something sad and i came up with this,, idk why i chose jay to fit my mental image of this bc its so saddening to even imagine— EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD PLS DO READ😭‼ thoughts on an alternative ending?
Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!
iv. wither (alt ver.)
Jay felt like an ass to put it simply. On a deep dive inside his feelings revealed that he wasn't plainly bored at his current relationship rather bored with his stagnant work-life moreover his regulated stress load. Blown over he weighed on going over for the first time in weeks to apologise and win you over though his damage was severe.
The keys jingled in the near distance, jay slipping in through the door, watching as nothing had really moved around in the house. He contemplated on notifying you of his abrupt appearance, opting to slowly creep up the stairs. Unknown to you, you had started coughing again, the strength in your arms to cover your mouth non-existent.
Resulting in the blood coating you and the mattress in a painful fit of red as you sobbed heartbroken to yourself wondering where it went wrong, did he require more space, had you been more mindful would he still be at your side.
Jay stilled on hearing your heart wrenching sobs, the previous hesitance gone as he ran up the stairs and to your situation on the bed stained bed. Having forgotten about your coughing fit of blood through the apparent stress from the separation.
His sight fell to the canvas in front of him greeting as you cough seized, your eyelids lugging over your glassed over orbs, jay getting to knees as he saw you covered in blood, his hand finding your paint ridden hand. You gave a weak chuckle, "if we ever meet again, I hope it works out then," you say, the diamonds leaving the comfort of your eyes and onto your crimson imposed self.
Jay heaved from panic, "why didn't you tell me?!" He hurried exclaimed, his hand running down your arm to keep your burning vessel even warmer. Unbeknownst to him he'd been crying and you watched with low eyes close to shutting, your palm lifting up to his tear stricken cheek, "just know," you paused, shutting your eyes completely feeling the life get sucked out of your body.
"i love you."
"I'm sorry! I was never bored with us to begin with, i wasn't in my right mind, i do love you!"
The reverting of branches in your lungs was faint heard as you experienced multiple waves of pain that had a different accent of beats in your heart, feeling yourself heal internally. Coughing, you requested, "say that again," you managed with your orbs clamping shut from the intermolecular forces shifting the branches out.
"i love you, i love you, i love you! I can't bare to see you like this i'm a real jerk, i'm so sorry darling,"
The corners of your eyes crinkled and you left the last of your sobs, turning away from him and curling into a ball, hiding away from him. He ran over to the other side of the mattress and hopped on, settling an arm over and rubbing your back as you hid in arms, sniffling.
"you're such a dick, i genuinely hope you know." you murmur loud enough for him to hear. Jay frowned and inched closer, clutching you harder, his free hand searching for your face, resting his palm on your cheek, continuing to caress it. "i'm sorry, i'm such a shitty boyfriend."
"elaborate,"
"on what?"
"on how you're absolute shit,"
"i'm that bad..?"
"as of late."
Gripping your front out of the safe place you'd made for yourself, he brought you to his chest though the blood would stain his clothing, ruffling your hair not minding the blotting. Tugging you away, he brought you to his lips to which you refused, pushing yourself away. He wore a sad smile, "right, take your time."
May with diminishing hope for jay who hadn't given up on trying to win back your heart after crumbling it to pieces. He rented out a nearby apartment and would send you gifts and presents along with his handwritten letters every morning before he left for a tiresome day at work. Day after day, he'd leave them at your doorstep, leaving immediately after ringing on the doorbell.
Today was nothing different. At 8 sharp he'd drop by with a cap covering his face, items in hand, placing them in a hurry, needing to rush to work right after. Not once had you written a reply to his letters, finding it hard to write back to the man who threatened your own living from misjudgement. You watched through the small gap from the window, observing the way he fixatied his letter in the front with a weightsome sign.
He left rather slowly, drifting onto the pavement, shuffling away. Once a good few minutes had passed, you panned open the door, picking up the gifts and his handwritten letter signed up to you. You marvelled at his unwavering hope that you'd cave in even though a month without single response from you passed lestfully.
You placed them in the countertop, unfolding the letter, the usual contents consisting of little inserts of his recent updates and excerpts of his life without you. Though the one you held was shorter than expected, certain parts of the paper were spotted with water of what you suspected to be tears. Your concern spiked, hastily flipping the page over to reveal the written contents in his signature messy handwriting.
"i'll be giving up today. i'll be starting fresh elsewhere, far from here, you don't have to worry about running into me when you're out and about. finally, i'll be quitting my job, it was never for me, i'll go live a quiet life somewhere. I still love you and i will forever. live a good life without me and with someone who can treat you better than i ever did, my dear, yn." — once your shitty boyfriend, jay.
You front fell. This was what you were waiting for, so why were you clutching your mouth in a tight clasp, feeling tears escape your eyes? You didn't know how to take the news, dropping the heartfelt page to the surface, flipping open your door and on your sandals and kicking onto the sidewalk.
Walking in a sped up pace, the wet tears planted over your face, your hand wiping them away as you began jogging, taking a right turn advancing to sprint, spotting his rented out apartment right down the alley. Skipping up the metal stairs you stood before his front door, panting and sobbing all in one, stopping to think about the passcode.
Recalling it for his letter to you from the early days of April when he first bought the unit, stating it was your birthday if you ever felt the need to barge in and make yourself at home. You pressed down on the padded keys, beeping as you left and trailed over the numbers. You entered the last number and a harsh tone buzzed.
He left.
You collapsed to the floor, back to what was once his front door as you hugged your knees while tears ran down your face, clad in your pyjamas from your slumber. Footsteps echoed to your left and you couldn't give a damn as you continued to sob your heart out, grabbing your hair in frustration as you slapped your forehead from regret.
"yn?"
You peered up from your stained clothing and onto the figure who stood by your side. You scurried to your feet upon glimpsing at the stature of your boyfriend, running up to him as you collapsed into him, wrapping your arms around him. "dont leave," you uttered in a broken sob in the day at possibly 8:10am on an unsuspecting date for many.
His arms feel limp to his sides as you pull away softly, peeking at him from your teared eyelashes, solely to find him looking away from you and to the wall that faced you two, droplets of his own trailing down his cheek and onto the cold, hard floor. "no, please, look at me,"
"i can't,"
"please, jay," you voiced desperately, the man attempting to veer his head towards you, failing as he met you in the middle as soon as his eyes met yours, hanging his head low, crying.
Lifting up his head, biting down your lip, watching him refusing to open his eyes and gaze at you. You hesitated for a moment before you embraced him and let your head fall on his shoulder like in the past, your fingers clasping onto his, running another on his hair in a pat repeatedly.
Prying open his glassy orbs, he looked down at you on his shoulder, feeling your tears father and soak into his shirt. He sighed shakily, deciding to act on his desires, bringing you to him once again, just like the month where you rejected his lips, hoping you'd accept this time. If not, he'd leave without a trace.
Hesitation clouded his mind as he stared into your watering eyes. Sensing his present nerves, you slowly placed your palm to him, reaching into him, nearing his chapped lips. You stopped centimetres away, breathing out to his parted mouth. Sealing the deal, you lunged forward, yearning to lean into his touch, his fingertips gripping your shoulder setting to fire.
You pulled away and breathing in and reached for him again, the lack filling with having, tilting into him as you deepened the kiss, the rushed sentiment healing your lonesome, listless heart with love. He broke off the connection, saliva dripping from the passion and heat between your mouths.
"do you still love me?" you queried, hoping for an affirmation.
"yes, like i said, i will forever."
"good because I didn't brush my teeth again,"
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