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noisytenant · 3 months
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so was anyone gonna tell me the mad scientist guy in wordgirl used to be her trusted friend and mentor who was studying her until an accident gave him science DID or did i just have to stumble into that knowledge myself.
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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does anybody else say "hay is for horses, cows, and sheep. too bad you're a jackass" when someone yells "hey!" at them or is that another thing my dad made up
#my dad says so many things where i'm just like oh that's normal and then i grow up and lo and behold NO ONE SAYS THAT!#but also sometimes i assume he made it up and he didn't!!#i assumed he made up hitch in my giddy-up and he did not (though i still hold that he uses it nonstandardly (to mean wedgie))#i wasn't sure about 'can be. sure would!' but that seems to be a him original#he also loooooves malaphors. he likes to pair them: e.g. wake up and smell the roses/stop and smell the coffee#which is cute BUT. he thinks he made them up! like each of them individually but also the concept of malaphors (mixed idioms) 🙄#though he doesn't call them that. he calls them [his name]isms (because he thinks he made them up)#one time i was trying to figure out if a term my family uses is unique to us or not and i looked it up and got a hit on urban dictionary#so i opened it and IMMEDIATELY COULD TELL THAT HE WROTE THE ENTRY. HE PUT OUR FAMILY WORD IN URBAN DICTIONARY.#katymacky if you're reading this i am REELING over the knowledge that your dad also says jean-claude pennay!!!#WHERE ARE THEY GETTING THAT FROM??? DO THEY SUBSCRIBE TO THE SAME 'DORKY DADS OF THE PNW' MAGAZINE??????#idioms#or something idek#swears#i guess???#really struggling with how to index this lol#fun with words#my posts#oh also i almost didn't use the oxford comma for once in my life because the cadence of this has a pause after 'horses'#and then 'cows and sheep' are kind of run together#hay is for HORSES‚ COWS and SHEEP. too bad you're a JACKASS#i actually think in this case this maybe came from my stepmother? because i don't remember him saying it until after he met her#but maybe that's just because she says HEY! a lot more than other people i would have seen him around?
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satoshi-mochida · 1 year
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Yen Press announced the following new titles at its Anime NYC panel on Saturday:
Manga:
Sword Art Online: Progressive Scherzo of Deep Night
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Story by Reki Kawahara Art by Puyocha Character Design by abec Publisher's description: Nearly two months have passed since Kirito and Asuna found themselves trapped in the world of Aincrad. Now, they're making their way through the ruins-themed fifth floor, where all sorts of undead monsters—and player-killers—lurk in the shadows! The story of Sword Art Online continues in this brand-new series!
Yokohama Station SF
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Story by Yuba Isukari Art by Gonbe Shinkawa Character Design by Tatsuyuki Tanaka Publisher's description: All Hiroto has ever known is a life on a tiny coastal speck of Japan. Much of the country has been swallowed by Yokohama Station, a mysterious, ever-growing series of buildings that's been around for as long as anyone can remember. The few who live outside its many entrances have never seen Inside and know only rumors and legends of the station's interior. That all changes when Hiroto is given an 18 Ticket, a mysterious item that lets him enter the massive complex for five days. The young man has always sought a purpose, but the one he finds may not be the sort he'd hoped for... Yen Press also licensed the original novel series.
Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Memoria Freese
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Original Story by Fujino Ōmori Art by Yū Shiomura Original Concept by Danmachi4 Project Publisher's description: Hestia Familia is back in an all-new adventure! All is quiet as Bell, Haruhime, Hestia, and friends celebrate the Holy Night Festival, but when a Familia from another land comes along, all hell breaks loose! What's more, Hestia's getting jealous again, which spells serious trouble for Bell...
Handyman Saitō in Another World
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By Ichitomo Kazutomo Publisher's description: Handyman Saito has never been anyone special. All his life, he's had average grades, ordinary athletic skill, a commonplace job... But his unremarkable path takes a turn when he wakes up in another world. Here, warriors, wizards, and elves accompany him on quests delving deep into dungeons, and Saito realizes for the first time what it's like to be needed. After all, who other than the handyman could be trusted to open locked treasure chests or to repair his allies' equipment? Beginning with a simple “thank you,” this is the story of an ordinary person's fulfilling life.
A Reincarnated Witch Spells Doom
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Story by Tail Yuzuhara Art by Sora Publisher's description: On her eighteenth birthday, shut-in Sena Shirai gathers her resolve and steps out into the world for the first time in a long while—only to be hit by a truck! Reborn as a witch in another world, she is able to master only two spells: Explosion and Destruction. With the nearby villagers fearful of her powers, she resigns herself to an isolated life once more...that is, until a mysterious boy collapses on her doorstep!
Appare-Ranman!
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By Antonsiku Publisher's description: The time is the nineteenth century. Eccentric mechanic boy Appare Sorano sets off on an adventure along with his samurai minder, Kosame Isshiki, only to be cast adrift on the Pacific Ocean. A passing steamship rescues them...and delivers the two not back to familiar Japan but to the far-flung land of America! Trapped in Los Angeles with no easy way to return home, the pair decide to enter the world's first trans-American automobile race. However, with vast sums of money hinging on the dangerous event's outcome, they may find the odds are stacked against them...
I Want to Be a Receptionist in This Magical World
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Story by MAKO Art by Yone Character Design by Maro Publisher's description: Ever since she was little, Nunnally has always wanted to be one of the graceful, capable receptionists of the Hall. As only top-rate mages are accepted to the position, she enrolls in the kingdom's magic academy to hone her skills, but she feels out of place amid a classroom of nobles—including a genuine prince. She decides that despite being a commoner, she's going to be the top of her class...but for some reason she just can't beat the one person she'd most like to—the snobbish boy in the seat next to her, Alweiss Rockman...!
Magical Girl Incident
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By Zero Akabane Publisher's description: As a little boy, Sakura Hiromi once dreamed he could be a hero. Now...he's simply your everyday office worker, toiling away for his company. Though he longs for his childhood dream, it seems so far out of reach—until he decides to step up and save a child one fateful day. Suddenly, fantasies become reality as Hiromi finds himself transformed into...a magical girl?!
Manner of Death
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Story by Yukari Umemoto Art by Sammon Publisher's description: When the skilled coroner Dr. Bunnakit is called to examine the body of his childhood friend after her “suicide,” he soon determines that she was actually murdered. That night, a mysterious stranger threatens him, telling him to rule her death a suicide—and after he confides in his prosecutor friend about this incident, that friend suddenly goes missing. But all hope is not lost, as a young lecturer named Tan offers to help him get to the bottom of all this, which would be more reassuring if Tan weren't the prime suspect...
What This World Is Made Of
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By Shin Yamamoto Publisher's description: After losing everything, the Nakata brothers find a mysterious app that offers a chance to make large sums of money. But are they ready for the danger they must now face, the deadly monsters known as WORLDs...?
Me and My Beast Boss
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By Shiroinu Publisher's description: In a world where beastfolk are thought to be superior to humans, human office worker Saki Oki struggles to remain afloat in a company where she is belittled and tormented by her beastfolk colleagues and superiors. And so, when she is called into the CEO's office, she's prepared for the worst—but instead of firing Saki, he acknowledges her hard work and makes her his private secretary! She's delighted by his praise...but could that really be the only reason her heart is racing so fast?
My Dear Curse-Casting Vampiress
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By Chisaki Kanai Publisher's description: The world is full of vampires. Supernatural creatures who drain the blood from humans without mercy—fighting such beings is the foundation of Isuzu Osaka's life. But humanity is losing the war, and desperate times call for desperate measures... And so, Isuzu sets out to strike a deal with a powerful vampiress whose beauty drives all who gaze upon her insane in the hopes of protecting his friends...
The Essence of Being a Muse
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By Aya Fumino Publisher's description: Somebody fill my emptiness. The day I was rejected from art school, everything that was “special” about me died. That's why I have no choice. Since I'm back to being “ordinary,” I'll go to the job my mom decided on, while wearing the clothes she picked for me, so that I can find what my mom calls “happiness” alongside somebody she can boast about, trapped in a never-ending cycle of “what if?” and “too bad” all the while.
The Ephemeral Scenes of Setsuna's Journey
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By Rokusyou • Usuawagi Publisher's description: The story of a young man who has inherited the life of his dear friend and a half- beast boy on a journey following the path of the teacher. Sugimoto Setsuna is summoned to another world as the 68th hero, but he's been given up on because of his weak and sickly constitution. However, he meets Kyle, the original hero who has been living for 2,500 years, and ends up inheriting his knowledge, power, and life force... He begins the life he wasn't able to live before and starts a journey around the world, when he comes across an enslaved half- beast boy. Their lively adventure starts here!
Higurashi: When They Cry: GOU
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Story by Ryukishi07 Art by Tomato Akase Publisher's description: Another year, another death, another disappearance...will this year be the same? Newcomer Keiichi Maebara has long grown accustomed to the rhythm of his simple life in Hinamizawa. But when Keiichi stumbles upon a few old newspapers at a dump site, he quickly realizes the peaceful village and his beloved friends are hiding a deadly secret... Is the tragedy of the summer of 1983 doomed to repeat forevermore...?! New fragments and new mysteries await—from the creators of Higurashi and Tomato Akase, the brand-new sequel series to Higurashi: When They Cry!!
Elden Ring: The Road to the Erdtree
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Original Concept by FromSoftware, Inc. Art by Nikiichi Tobita Publisher's description: The epic and foreboding world of the hit video game Elden Ring gets turned on its head in this absurd comedy adventure! Follow Aseo the Tarnished as he struggles his way through the Lands Between. What he lacks in strength, speed, intelligence, charisma, skill, experience, intuition, and common sense, he makes up for in...uhhh...
Light Novels:
Even If These Tears Disappear Tonight
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By Misaki Ichijo Publisher's description: College student Tooru Naruse falls in love with his upperclassmen Izumi Wataya, and she accepts his confession on the condition that he cannot fall in love with her. Their fake relationship begins, but Tooru soon discovers that Izumi cannot forget her love from high school. Hoping to learn who that person was, he seeks out her best friend, Maori Hino. Follow characters from Even If This Love Disappears Tonight in this sequel about another heart-wrenching tale of first love.
How to Win Her Heart on the Nth Try
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By Ichine Kamijo Publisher's description: Nagi Yoroizuka, a 27-year-old system engineer at a software development company, is facing down her thirties with no sign of romance. She works hard at her job, but things never seem to go her way. Then, just when a series of mishaps leaves her at her lowest point yet, a childhood friend reappears to offer her a hand. Not only is this genius engineer warmhearted and good-looking, but he gets along great with her! The problem: She's only ever seen him as a friend, while he's been hiding his feelings for her their whole lives. But even if she's willing to give him a chance, will trauma from her past prove too much to overcome?
Maiden of the Needle
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Story by Zeroki Illustrated by Miho Takeoka Publisher's description: Yui was reincarnated into a noble family in another world, retaining her memories of her life in Japan. During her childhood, she befriended the fairies she could see around her by using her magic to help mend their clothes; unfortunately, Yui's relative lack of skill in blessweaving—the art of enchanting physical fabric through needlework—ultimately results in her being disowned. However, when she is taken in by Rodin Calostira, another nobleman, her luck begins to change...
My Summoned Beast Is Dead
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Story by Rakuzan Illustrated by Miyuu Publisher's description: In a magical academy for summoners, students combine impressive stores of magical energy with artful incantations to usher legends, great and small, onto the battlefield. To say late bloomer Feil Fonaf has had a rough come-up is nothing short of an understatement, but he's here to prove he deserves his place at the academy as much as anyone else! And as luck would have it, his counterpart summon winds up being the legendary beast of the last realm, Pandora! There's just one problem...
Associate Professor Akira Takatsuki's Conjecture
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By Mikage Sawamura Publisher's description: Naoya Fukamachi is a university student whose ability to infallibly detect lies has left him friendless and isolated. But when he writes a paper about a strange festival he wandered into as a child, he catches the fancy of his folklore studies professor Akira Takatsuki, a handsome and eccentric man with a passion for all things mysterious. Soon, Naoya finds himself working as Akira's assistant, helping him to interpret an array of unexplainable phenomena, from haunted objects and cursed effigies to urban legends. As this odd couple continues their investigations, however, Naoya realizes that his professor has had a few bizarre childhood experiences of his own...
Yami-hara
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By Mizuki Tsujimura Publisher's description: "When they come, someone dies...” After a quiet boy named Kaname joins the class, Mio reaches out to him, hoping to help the odd boy settle into his new environment. Kaname takes to her a little too well, however, asking to come to her house and then showing up all the time. Frightened, Mio seeks help from an upperclassman she admires...but the nameless wickedness is already coming. It's close. It's growing. A horror-mystery novel by famed author Mizuki Tsujimura.
Sketch Collection:
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Scribbles By Kaoru Mori Publisher's description: A collection of sketches from Kaoru Mori, the creator of hit historical manga Emma and A Bride's Story! Packed with illustrations done for practice as well as for relaxation, this compilation features commentary on every page and the roots of all her work are laid out.
Manhwa:
Bloody Sweet
By Narae Lee Publisher's description: One eerie night, in an old, abandoned church, a girl accidentally breaks the seal of an ancient vampire who...starts following her around like a hyper little puppy! It may not be your typical vampire story, but for Naerim, a victim of school bullying, Vlad's manic energy might be just what she needs to regain her smile!
Manga With New Edition:
Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun: First Stall (Box Set)
By AidaIro Publisher's description: A beautiful collection of the first ten volumes of Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, featuring everything from the very beginnings of the series to the big twist of the fan-favorite Picture Perfect arc. If you just can't hold it in anymore—“it” being your excitement—getting your hands on this box set is the only way you can find sweet relief!
Puella Magi Suzune Magica: The Complete Omnibus Edition
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By Magica Quartet Art by GAN Publisher's description: Read this defiant story set in the world of Madoka Magica in one complete omnibus! Suzune Amano lives an extraordinarily normal life as a middle school student by day and...magical-girl assassin by night?! When a group of four magical girls begins investigating the serial murders in their city, they soon find themselves Suzune's next targets! But what motivates Suzune to hunt both witches and magical girls alike?
Light Novels With New Edition:
A Certain Magical Index: The Old Testament Omnibus Edition
Story by Kazuma Kamachi Illustrated by Kiyotaka Haimura Publisher's description: Science and magic have come together once again to create this never-before- seen folio of A Certain Magical Index! The arcane pages of the Old Testament Omnibus Edition detail the collected adventures of Touma Kamijou in a stunning synthesis of paper and metal that any aspiring sorcerer or esper will covet. Including all twenty-two volumes of the original series as well as the two short story volumes, this grimoire cannot be ignored by those who want to complete their own collection of forbidden magical books!
Ize Press, a newly formed Korean-content imprint from Yen Press that already published Villains Are Destined to Die and The World After the Fall, also announced that it will publish in print the following Korean webcomics:
The Horizon
By JH A world where everything has been lost. A boy and a girl alone together. A spark of hope kindled between them. All they can do is move forward. But against broken adults and devastating despair, how long will they be able to keep going...? Find out in this poignant tale from JH, author of the acclaimed Korean comic The Boxer.
A Business Proposal
Story by Guava Farm and Perilla Art by NARAK Original Story by Haehwa After being worked to the bone at her office job, getting introduced to her longtime crush's new girlfriend, and dealing with her family's debt hanging over her head, Hari Shin's life seems to have hit rock bottom. Luckily, her friend Youngseo has a business proposal for her: go to an arranged date in her stead and Hari will receive a hefty compensation. Things grow complicated, however, when it turns out that the other party is Hari's new CEO—and he's dead set on marrying whoever shows up to the date!
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aroguexenolith · 1 year
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I am not fervent enough for fandom discords, but I do have strong opinions on cotton sheets and leather care and easy but really yummy meals to make. So, uh, is there a discord somewhere for millennials doing boring adult stuff where we can talk about 401k rollovers and if they have a specific brand of mattress pad they like?
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galacticlamps · 1 year
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Jamie's been adjusting well to his life on the Tardis so far, but when it brings him and his friends to a market town on an alien planet, he's still eager to stick close to the Doctor. Although he isn't particularly interested in shopping, Jamie enjoys himself all the same, until he stumbles upon a sudden discovery about himself, the Doctor, and the future that might be waiting for them - leaving them with a choice to make.
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eosphorusss · 8 months
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my father is a very kind and clever man. unfortunately most of his energy is dedicated to maximizing inefficiency
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shcherbatskya · 1 year
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the hero of yesterday becomes the tyrant of tomorrow, unless he crucifies himself today………
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rockleaves · 1 year
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forgot how much i enjoy getting a new academic book and immediately flipping to the back to judge it by the index. like oh the domostroi gets its own entry in the index but the domovoi does not? the pages it’s mentioned on are listed under “demons; house” even though it’s not a demon? and that list of pages also includes the ones that mention of the kikimora, which DOES also get its own separate index entry, even though the domovoi is mentioned more often? okay. interesting.
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riteofparting · 2 years
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―  Anaïs Nin, in Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin (1939–1947).
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laiiaaa · 6 months
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gushing over bf Carmy and he doesn’t even know how sexy he isssss :(((
Carmen—finally—has off from work tonight. Which means it’ll be relaxing for once in the past couple weeks, having time spent with you and you alone, cuddling over a movie, kissing between soft conversations, half-attentive before he’ll finally scoop you up and take you to bed.
But that’s for later.
Right now, though, he emerges in the living room ready for the movie you’d asked him to watch with you. You perk up at his entry and turn around to lean against the back of the couch, caught in a kiss before he starts telling you…well, you can’t seem to keep up.
All that’s on your mind is Carmy Carmy Carmy, so much so that whatever he’s saying doesn’t process, a wave of awe clouding your mind. You get lost in his image for a broad moment, doing little else other than admiring the stretch of his tee against his chest and biceps that tug the fabric just right, the sinew of his forearms tensing as he grips the back of the couch; his curls freshly washed hours earlier, still styled loosely before stressed bouts straighten them, stragglers suspended by his brow bone that charming way you remember when you first met; gray sweats handing loose on his hips, a little less so at the front to make you drool. He looks good, so so painfully good, and he doesn’t even know it. He’s not even trying.
“You listenin’, baby?” You only hear him when he tilts your chin up with his index and thumb—gently, to guide your attention back. “Baby?”
And your head follows, but your eyes still linger along his tensed forearms before they finally acknowledge his words and meet his gaze. “Hm?”
He smiles softly. “Spacin’ out, huh?”
“Sorry—” You bite at your lip. “You’re just so handsome,” you tell him as you look your arms around his neck. “It’s distracting.”
He starts to blush. “Yeah, okay.” But his hands smooth down your back anyway, pausing along the curve of your ass before an adoring squeeze.
“I’m serious, Carmy,” you coo, tugging him down for another kiss and teasing your nails along the nape of his neck. “Most handsome man ever.” One hand cups his jaw before another peck. “And the sweetest,” another smooch to his cheek, “and the prettiest,” and the other side, “and the sexiest,” again to his temple—
“Okay, baby,” he starts, flushed to his neck, but you beat him to the punch—
“And the best boyfriend ever,” you quip, extra sharp before you soothe it with a languid kiss to his lips, smiling against him as his hands run along your spine, slowing you down to sweet kisses until your forehead meets his. “You’re just the best, Bear.” And another, because you can’t help yourself when he looks like this. “So kind, the best chef ever, and so strong…” You bring your hands to paw at his arms again, “So so handsome, and you’re all mine—”
He scoffs, trying to bite back that gush of his heart, that rush of blood down south that has him pressed into the couch. “I think I get it, baby.” Gentle smooch to your forehead. “Thank you.”
You groan and sit on your heels, dragging your hands down his chest, to his middle, then closer to his waistband. Looking up at him with doe eyes and plush pout, you ask, “Take me to bed, Carmy…”
He huffs. “Thought we were watchin’ a movie tonight?”
“Want you t’fuck me instead…” Teasing a little lower, your fingertips graze behind the fabric. “Please?”
And if he thought he was hiding it before, he’s really giving himself away now: head lolling forward with a heady sigh, weight leaning into the couch as his blush spreads to his neck; mind swirling at the thought of you touching him, whining his name some more, pleading with that same pout as he’s making you come beneath him.
In no time he’s bent over to scoop you up from the couch, your giggles ringing in his ear while he carries you to the bedroom.
What, did you expect him to say no to you asking him so sweetly? The movie can wait. It’s your fault for getting him all worked up, anyway.
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noisytenant · 3 months
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i think it would be good to just write a zine about doing the dishes and negotiating around dish issues because it seems like the #1 roommate problem
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kentoangel · 1 month
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the first time yakuza boss nanami kento finds flowers in his home is when you move in with him.
it was a restless night — endless paperwork, someone nagging that this and that needed to be completed.
he had entered your shared home, index and middle fingers pulling at the collar of his tie as he kicked off his shoes and — pink roses? at the entry table?
the next day, he asks the maid and she responds with: mrs. nanami placed them there, sir. she said the house needed more color.
(and, of course, he had smiled — like he often did when he thought of you and the way you leave your earrings out of the jewelry box to let them glimmer under the light).
the second time, it’s red roses in the kitchen — a bold, beautiful, full bouquet that has the maids fawning (one even said they matched you — elegant, gorgeous, soft, sweet).
(mentally, of course, he agreed. how could he not? when his workers are completely correct).
the third time, it’s a white rose — when he asks the maids why just one, they had responded that mrs. nanami had bought a bouquet and gifted a rose to all the maids, one to the gardener, one to her bodyguard takuma ino and another to the young itadori yuuji.
(he was a little upset you had not gifted him one — but he’s never home, never asks you about the flowers that invade your home).
the fourth time there are flowers in the nanami kento household is because he buys them for you — bouquet of soft pink roses, bouquet of bold red roses, bouquet of white roses that seem to compliment you and your pastel yellow dress.
“they’re all … for me?”
“of course,” he replies, “who else would i buy flowers for?”
you’re shy under his gaze — bottom lip between your teeth until you smile and stand on the tips of your toes to peck his cheek.
his eyes almost flutter, he almost gets on his knees.
“thank you, kento.”
he is sure the nanami kento household is full of flowers from now on.
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ecoursenotepok · 2 years
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How to stock trading courses for beginners online
How to stock trading courses for beginners online
How to stock trading courses for beginners online Photo by PiggyBank If you have read this far, I assume you are interested in making $7,345 or more per month swing trading. Do you know exactly what, when, how much and how often to trade to make that much profit each and every month? Well, me and my trading customers all over the world do. If you don’t…then keep reading… How to stock trading…
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mediaevalmusereads · 4 months
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Baking Yesteryear. By B. Dylan Hollis. DK, 2023.
Rating: 4/5 stars
Genre: cookbook
Series: N/A
Summary: A decade-by-decade cookbook that highlights the best (and a few of the worst) baking recipes from the 20th century
Friends of baking, are you sick and tired of making the same recipes again and again? Then look no further than this baking blast from the past, as B. Dylan Hollis highlights the most unique tasty treats of yesteryear.
Travel back in time on a delicious decade-by-decade jaunt as Dylan shows you how to bake vintage forgotten greats. With a big pinch of fun and a full cup of humor, you’ll be baking everything from Chocolate Potato Cake from the 1910s to Avocado Pie from the 1960s.
Dylan has baked hundreds of recipes from countless antique cookbooks and selected only the best for this bakebook, sharing the shining stars from each decade. And because some of the recipes Dylan shares on his wildly popular social media channels are spectacular failures, he’s thrown in a few of the most disastrously strange recipes for you to try if you dare.
***Full review below.***
Since this book is non-fiction, my review will be structured a little different from normal.
I've had this book for a while, but I didn't want to post a review before making a few of the recipes myself. I was already a fan of Hollis from his TikToks, so that might introduce some bias into my review - just so you're all aware.
Overall, I found this book to be quirky, easy to follow, and fun. I loved the bright colors and retro-feel to the photo shoots, and I appreciated that almost all of the recipes were accompanied by a picture of the thing you're supposed to be making. I also liked the blurbs written by Hollis himself; they very much felt like his voice, with his characteristic sense of humor balanced by his genuine love for baking and "old things."
Perhaps the most valuable part of this book, however, was the emphasis on lowering barriers to entry. I've read my fair share of baking guides that call for special ingredients or equipment, and there are a lot of recipes out there that are finicky and sure ton dissuade new bakers. Hollis's book, however, emphasizes that most (if not all) of these recipes can be done with basic tools - one does not even need an electric mixer (though it does make some recipes easier). There also aren't many fancy ingredients that aren't readily available at most grocery stores, so that also helps.
I do, however, have some minor criticisms which relate to the usability of this book. For one, the organization makes it rather difficult to find a specific recipe (or even category), particularly if you're like me and don't recall what decade it came from. While organizing the recipes by decade makes sense given the book's premise, it does make it more functionally difficult - you can't flip to the cake section, for example, and browse or put yourself within the general vicinity of the recipe you're looking for. Thus, readers will have to rely on either the TOC or the index a lot more, but this is a minor inconvenience rather than a huge drawback.
I also don't think the majority of the recipes are blow-your-mind good, but honestly, given this book's premise, I don't think that's the worst thing. The recipes are largely taken from sources aimed at home bakers, so you're not going to get professional-level pastries out of them. You will, however, get things that are fun and relatively simple to make, and they taste good enough to me that I'd consider making them multiple times.
TL;DR: Baking Yesteryear is a fine book for fans of Hollis's TikTok, but it goes beyond being mere merch. It not only provides historical recipes that are easy to replicate, but it also does a good job of lowering barriers to entry for new bakers. Experienced bakers might not be overly impressed by the recipes, but engaging with food history is a treat in and of itself, and it's delightful to see someone like Hollis engaging with the past with such enthusiasm and adoration.
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rigorwhoring · 11 days
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SHOULD’VE BEEN A SON, pt. 2
MDNI, corrupt cop/dad!leon kennedy x fem!reader
word count. 3.1k
cws. daddy-daughter incest, noncon, somnophilia, revenge porn, aftermath of past noncon, reader gets recorded, p in v, unprotected, blackmail, leon somehow gets worse, mentions of police corruption, victim-blaming, overstim
note. i will repeat what i said on pt. 1 — you are responsible for what you consume. nobody is forcing you to read (appropriately tagged) fanfiction that grosses you out. anyway, it’s been rlly fun plotting out a series!! kind of deranged but fuck it we ball!!
tags. @bunnyclaire, @leonseyeliner, @sqiim, @xoxostarlet, @d10nyx, @ressespearlz, @shiawaseorii, @wherenymphsroam, @localkiss (i adore each of you omg)
index. [pt. 1] [pt. 2] [pt. 3] [pt. 4] [pt. 5] [Bonus]
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You were fucked. Thoroughly, resolutely, incurably fucked.
It came to you in the shower, somewhere between the scalding water and your stinging skin. Should’ve been immediate — but your head was spinning something horrible. Felt like you were being waterboarded. Hell, you wouldn’t put it past him — no matter how self-preserving the RPD was, fucking your own daughter into the floor was a bit of a bad look.
You scrubbed your skin till it hurt to touch, and then for a few minutes after that. Scrubbed till you saw blood. The blood was good — the blood meant that you’d purged his touch from every bruise, denied him further entry into your body. Your lower belly ached something terrible — couldn’t he have been more careful? If he was gonna rape you, couldn’t he have taken care not to jam his cock against your cervix half the time?
Rape. That’s what had happened. You froze as it settled. Rape had been news reports mama switched the channel from when you were little. The mention that made your brows knit together in compulsory pity. The word that made everyone in the room stiffen up a little, including you. But now, it applied to you, too. Your mind instinctively tried to climb somewhere higher from it. Anything to avoid being a victim. Anything to avoid that label of helplessness, that incessant reminder that recovery couldn’t erase the past. You’d always be a victim, now. No matter how much you screamed, no matter how much you plead, he’d taken away the right to honest denial.
Begrudgingly, you shut off the shower. Had you thinking a little too hard. You grimaced as the biting air hit your skin, bringing forth what he’d done. So many of your marks were far smaller than they felt. You supposed it was mostly internal, wrapping a fluffy towel around yourself for warmth — when you suddenly caught sight of your face in the mirror. Between the bruising around your nose and the tear burns beneath your eyes, you looked just as you’d remembered mama. It took everything within you not to break the mirror right there — realizing the pattern your life was falling into was the last thing you needed right now. But seven years of bad luck and whatever your father decided to do to you over the mirror seemed shittier. You grimaced, huddling into the towel for comfort, and scurried back to your designated bedroom.
You glanced at the clock as you tugged on a fresh pair of clothes, silently reminding yourself to burn the previous. Two hours later than you’d expected. You’d been in that agonizing shower for over two hours, unable to process it to begin with. But, hell — at the expense of your comfort, you’d racked up your dad’s water bill a little.
Yeah, fuck you, dad. You raped me, so now that water bill’s gonna make your wallet hurt. Not as much as it hurt when he choked you. When he used you like a goddamn fleshlight. The more you thought about it, the more your gloating looked pathetic. Shuddering, you tried to curl up in bed, like your blanket was going to protect you from a trained cop. Like you still had any power left.
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Ten days, ten sleepless nights, and countless bouts of panic passed from the incident.
Life trudged on, somehow. You’d never been much of a socialite on campus — you weren’t going into debt for a country club, after all. Sleep didn’t come the night you were assaulted, or the nights that followed. When it did, it was fleeting. Scared of gracing you with its presence, of letting you bask in a moment of relief. Deprivation led you to avoidance and lethargy — but when you were presented with a 42% on a science exam, you knew that something had to be done. Thus, insomnia led you to the nearest drugstore. Emptied your pockets of cash and filled them back up with over-the-counter sleeping pills.
In part, you blamed your social circle, too. When you sent an intentionally vague message, begging for a temporary place to stay, nobody took you in. You saw through the excuses — their boyfriends came over on the regular. Practically freeloaded. It’d been going on for ages. You wished you could testify on if they’d changed, but after moving back home, you’d been largely cut off. Maybe it was the distance, or maybe you’d gotten a little off-putting since your father sexually assaulted you. If the latter was the case, you were happier. Thank God they’d cut you off before you’d given them a piece of your mind.
Still, newfound isolationism had done nothing for sleep — and now, you had no friends or family to call. Just half a grieving mind and an ample dose of paranoia. Your father was still taking the same patrols, lately — you’d jotted each time he’d come home down in the back of your textbook, snapping the lock shut the second his boots resounded down the hardwood. Something in your mind insisted that rape was inevitable, but you were doing everything in your power to prevent it. Safety at the slight cost of your wellbeing. Made you grimace when you thought about it.
“Fuck this,” you muttered after reading the same sentence for the seventh time. You’d gotten through a solid three paragraphs. Productive day. Time to treat yourself for it. You shuffled a couple of the bottles you’d picked out, dumping out three pills from one and one pill from the other. If this made you feel like you’d contracted the plague, at least it’d be an extremely relaxed plague. You popped them into your mouth and curled up into bed, gently humming with the relief that followed. Tomorrow, you’d keep searching for an adequate job. For an affordable motel. You’d make it out of here, soon.
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No click.
Leon’s brows knitted together in confusion as he stepped through the door. For the past ten days, he’d heard the hurried thuds of your footsteps once the front door creaked open, followed by the resounding click of your lock. But tonight, he was greeted by silence. A few tentative steps down the hallway didn’t reap any better results.
Being a cop meant adopting hypervigilance, and being a sick bastard meant getting good at it. He’d been observing the little facets of a situation you were just starting to pick up on for decades. Hell, maybe you should be thanking him — you weren’t the spoiled brat he’d largely ignored anymore. It didn’t get much worse than him, so there wasn’t much reason for you to end up surprised when you wound up assaulted in an alleyway. You’d stand up, press the wrinkles out of your skirt, and stumble away — hoping some scumbag didn’t knock you up.
Regardless, he found himself at your door, gingerly testing the knob. Your likeness had started to resemble a stray cat’s around him. Hell, a mouse, even. You practically ran away at the mere sight of him. So when the knob turned, cracking open the door, his eyebrows raised in surprise. But he wasn’t one to stop the crack from widening, raising his rough palm to push the wood aside.
There you were — the daughter who’d made herself scarce often enough to wipe her face from his memory. He remembered the tears, sure. The way they clung to your lashes. The little cries that went muffled by the carpet. But the shape of your nose and the pout of your lips had gotten a little muggy. Felt like some sort of karma — you were pretty enough to make his cock jump. Maybe that’s what God bestowed upon him for treating you like a whore. Forgetting his baby’s face.
It was a fine price to pay, he decided, stepping over to your bed. He kept the tapping of his soles light on the carpeted floor, wanting to take advantage of your inevitable groggy state — when he saw the bottles on the counter. You’d fucked with some sleeping pills. He had a decent idea of how many, given the fact that you were still alive and seemingly well. But that number differed — the lower dosages let you fall asleep, but it was the higher ones that kept you there. He grazed your forearm as a litmus test — nothing.
Nudging your forearm again with a bit more intent, he forced a chuckle back down his throat. You slept like a doll. Forcing women to their knees on the side of the road had been an acquired taste — their cries had taken even longer to internalize into something arousing. But having a warm body, benign to his touch and splayed before him, was a delicacy of sorts. One his treatment of women didn’t often allow him to be served. Unfortunately, you’d remained in his house, and he was due for indulgence.
Palming his pocket, he unlooped his belt with one hand and retrieved his phone with the other. Revenge porn felt a little classier back when it was on digital. But practically mattered, unfortunately, and he needed every pixel of your body he could get — and the fastest way he could, hypothetically, spread it. It wasn’t that you’d done anything wrong recently. Quite the contrary. You’d been good and quiet, and you needed to stay that way. You were a smart girl. A headstrong girl. Sometime soon, you’d get the nerve to leave — and sometime soon, you’d need a little encouragement to stay put and keep your pretty mouth quiet. He wasn’t above zip ties, but those could ultimately be broken. Porn sites couldn’t.
Swiping into the camera, he tugged against the bulge in his boxers for a moment, stifling a groan. Something about your sleeping form had made him hard enough to feel dizzy. Precum dripped down to the base of his cock with every breath you took, pressing his tip flush against his lower belly. Sticky. Like he was in high school again. His rough fingertips padded against your thighs, parting them as he knelt on your mattress. He made quick work of discarding your thin shorts — gently prodding your clit with his index through the fabric of your panties. Your breath staggered, eyebrows slanting a little — good. You reacted like you were being fucked, not raped.
He knew that he couldn’t pass this off as revenge porn if you reacted to it like you had the first time. Sure, men from the dredges of the internet might find your little pleas arousing, but the rational population would pity you. The reaction would be sympathy — motivation to leave and join with your supporters. You had to look like you wanted it, a bit. You had to whine a little, let your lips part, pant in ecstasy. Enjoying it is what brought judgment, and as he thumbed your clit, he knew damn well how to capitalize upon that.
Your thigh twitched, triggered by some sort of nerve within the bud. He knew that he couldn’t do much — you weren’t going to enjoy this if you were awake. But asleep? He felt another dribble of precum kick against his stomach as the wet oval in the gusset of your panties grew, vulnerable and pretty for him. He pressed his thumb against your throbbing clit, failing to still it as your cunt gushed with arousal. With one hand draped beneath your navel, he leaned forward, carefully prying your loose shirt from your body. Could barely be considered porn if your tits weren’t bouncing. You shifted in sleep, and he froze in half a second — but when you settled again, he successfully pulled the fabric away, leaving your breasts vulnerable to the camera.
He gently tugged the gusset of your panties away from your cunt, stifling another laugh. Just as wet as the last time he fucked you. Just as unaware. Slick glistened around your hole as he scissored you open, nudging your folds apart with his knuckles. Shallowly sliding his index into you, he retrieved his leaking cock with his other hand, nearly trembling as it jumped with your whines. Hard to control with the cellphone’s heaviness and the way your hole fluttered before him. Leon slotted himself against you, taking a strange caution to it. If you woke up when he was this far along, he’d have to hold you down and scrap the video. Rendering this useless outside of a good lay. He thumbed the ‘record’ button, nudging his swollen tip into you.
Leon loathed fucking you gently. Every molecule of his being wanted to ravage, to force, to tear you to shreds — but he was forced to hold himself back for the sake of the video. Forced to inhibit the urges that had darkened him so dramatically. Working each inch of his dick into your weeping cunt was torture — save for the way your entire being seemed to hum with unconscious pleasure. A raw, guttural moan rose from your throat as he stilled half his cock into you, hand shaking slightly as his fingers clenched for dear life around the cellphone. Your walls fluttered around him as you whined, subconscious begging to be filled again — and, fuck, who was he to say no?
Problem was, he couldn’t stop. His baby’s pussy felt a little too good when it was clinging to him like that. Wasn’t his fault that his hips started rutting into yours, that he couldn’t control the way his cock forced itself deeper into you. Surely, this was your fault — somehow, you’d willed him to do this. You were far too smart. Far too pretty. He grunted, letting your hips raise a little as his balls met the plush of your ass, a ring of slick forming around the base of his cock. Atta girl, putting on a good show. Stay good and no one’ll have to see it.
And you really did look pretty for the camera. Forced to watch you through it for quality, he silently adored the way your skin shone with sweat. The way your tits bounced with every empathic pump into you. The way your lips were slick with unkempt saliva. Shakily, he pawed at one of your tits, gripping the flesh as he kept the camera steady. Jesus, how had he gone without marking these up last time? You’d gotten these from your mama, too — for a moment, he contemplated waking you, just to inform you of that. Just to kiss that pretty mouth to stifle your bewildered cries, to pinch one of those puffy nipples—
Before he could process where his thoughts had led him to, he was cumming, cock jumping to stuff your cunt. Fortunately, he had enough cognition left to pull out, dick uselessly prodding your clit before he came across your stomach. He tried to regulate his own breathing, camera focusing on the white smeared below your navel. He hadn’t cum this much, or this early, since his twenties. That elicited a grin.
Still, in the wake of his own orgasm, he noticed the way you writhed. The way your hips raised and fell against nothing but the air. The sex tape was good, but it would be even less believable as rape if you came, right? His cum was smeared on your tummy, but if your own cum ended up between your thighs, you’d be written off as a whore. A slut that couldn’t get raped without cumming. And, naturally, he wanted the best for his daughter, so he gently aligned himself between your labia again with a grimace. Stifling a groan, he pumped himself with the same hand, fighting tears of overstimulation to get himself hard again. Eventually managed a heavy semi — fortunately. Save for you, that was less of a given these days.
Silently gasping a string of curses, he rigidly pumped into you, his own cum overwhelming his sensitive cock. His eyes watered as you whimpered in euphoria, fighting off another whine of pain. A few things became apparent in that moment — the most important one being that God was not on his side. For obvious reasons. He’d underestimated the utter torture overstimulation demanded, struggling to keep from writhing like you had. His cock ached painfully in protest, suddenly hardening fully again within you. Your body stiffened, a bead of sweat falling from your hairline to your ear.
Leon willed himself to keep fucking you, letting out another involuntary grunt as you clenched around him. It pained him to pump faster, but pained him worse to hold out for his overwhelmed dick. He never thought he’d welcome your own orgasm, but he did — breathlessly grinning when you finally cried out in the midst of your dream, panting as your own release dribbled out with his.
Without another moment to waste, he gratefully pulled out and stopped the video. Leon muttered something under his breath as he stuffed his cock back into his pants, unbothered to pick his belt back up. You’d put the pieces together tomorrow.
But if you didn’t, he thought, eyes slowly trailing to the polaroid on your nightstand. Wouldn’t this be for nothing?
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Before you processed that you were unclothed, you processed that you were sticky. You woke up sore. Sore and immediately confused. Your hair stuck to your temple with sweat, and your lips felt clammy. Like you were getting sick. You sat up, groggy, silently reminding yourself to refrain from taking so many pills.
And then you caught sight of it — your shirt, draped over the headboard. Right above your head as you motionlessly slept. A cold feeling resonated next to the soreness’ source in your lower gut, your head suddenly throbbing — heart stopping immediately when you caught sight of your unlocked door.
Rapidly realizing what had happened, you froze in shock, angrier at yourself than you were at him. You had a new system in place, didn’t you? One that was supposed to keep you safe. And you’d failed to keep it in place in exchange for rest. The single night you’d allowed yourself the grace of normalcy, it happened again.
In your disbelief, you caught sight of a polaroid — prettily mounted against the lamp on your nightstand. You squinted, blood running cold when you processed the contents of the image. Shakily, you grabbed it, taking in the sight of your nude body — painted messily with your father’s cum. He’d scrawled something on the back, letters blanked in places where the pen was running out of ink.
“Remember that I have the video.”
Another scalding shower confirmed the answer to you: you were fucked.
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gentleoverdrive · 2 years
Text
(135/?) Carrying on and on, unwitting orphans of an unyielding despair.
I wish I could be an influencer so I could influence people on all the hot-button topics that really matter: "Hey, yeah. Ass is fine, but eat fruits and vegetables too, you fuckface(s)!", "Your local shithead politician lives here, go and poop on their garden and break all their cars' windows", or "Aubrey Plaza is an ok actress but April Ludgate was fucking boring".
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Alas, I am but a simple writer-- wait, no, I have a couple more! "Kicking people in the crotch is painful as heck regardless of gender! TV lied to you!" and "Don't clutter, you fucking doofus"... OK, I think I'm done for now. Anyway, yeah: Influencers are like the modern equivalent of politicians and, just like their predecessors-- ¡FUCK POLITICIANS!
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So yeah, it's high time that we start treating tiktokers the same way we wish to treat to try to do so in the past with politicians. And yes, youtubers/v-tubers, etc have a gameplay in mind. Remember to learn to switch gears, brochachos! See ya' tomorrow!
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