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#incorrecttony
Tony: I'm like fine wine.
Rhodey: You make people do dumb shit?
Tony: …No. I wanted to say, I get better with age.
Rhodey: Hmm. Why not both?
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Fury: [to the Avengers] Did none of you, think this was a bad idea?!
Tony: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.
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Tony: I have had one hour of sleep. One cheeseburger. Sixteen shots of espresso. And now I’m ready to fight God or die trying.
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Tony: Why be sad when you can be dad?
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Tony: [gives some of his coffee to Steve]
[later]
Steve: Buck, I think Tony wants me to propose.
Bucky: And why is that, Punk?
Steve: He gave me some of his coffee.
Bucky: RIGHT LET'S GO BUY THAT RING!
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Tony: Howard didn't raise no quitter.
Tony: Well, actually, Howard didn't raise me at all.
Tony: Which is why I'm quitting.
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Tony: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.
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Loki: So here's the plan. I go in. I start stabbing people with my dagger. And we see where that takes us.
Tony: No.
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Loki: I'll kill you.
Tony: At least buy me a drink first.
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Steve: Please, tell me I'm hallucinating.
Tony: [standing next to the burning microwave] Well, I’m dreamy, but try to contain yourself.
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Steve: We tried to play Never Have I Ever, but we had to change it to Only Have I Occasionally, so some of us-
Steve: [glances at Tony, who’s absolutely wasted]
Steve: Wouldn’t die from alcohol poisoning.
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Tony: Here's a list of things I hate that my partner for some reason loves
Tony: Number one - me.
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Bucky: Whatever, so is it a date or not?
Tony: Wait, you were serious? I kinda thought you were just-
Bucky: [grabbing him, using a threatening voice] Then let me be clear. Tonight. My place. 6 o' clock. I'll cook us a nice dinner. It will be a magical evening. Sounds good?
Tony: Okay! Yeah! That sounds lovely! Why do I feel like I'm being mugged?
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Tony: Father always told me that if all the other kids were jumping off a cliff, I should, too.
Bruce: Your father said that?
Tony: He was not a nurturer.
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Tony: FUCK!
Steve: [rushes in] Tony, what's wrong? Are you OK? Are you hurt?
Tony: What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine I was just screaming at life in general.
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Steve: You have a nice ass.
Tony: What was that?
Steve: [flushing] You have nice eyes…?
Tony: I liked the first one better.
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