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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Tony: I'm like fine wine.

Rhodey: You make people do dumb shit?

Tony: …No. I wanted to say, I get better with age.

Rhodey: Hmm. Why not both?

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Fury: [to the Avengers] Did none of you, think this was a bad idea?!

Tony: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Tony: I have had one hour of sleep. One cheeseburger. Sixteen shots of espresso. And now I’m ready to fight God or die trying.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Tony: Why be sad when you can be dad?

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Tony: [gives some of his coffee to Steve]

[later]

Steve: Buck, I think Tony wants me to propose.

Bucky: And why is that, Punk?

Steve: He gave me some of his coffee.

Bucky: RIGHT LET'S GO BUY THAT RING!

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Tony: Howard didn't raise no quitter.

Tony: Well, actually, Howard didn't raise me at all.

Tony: Which is why I'm quitting.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Tony: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Loki: So here's the plan. I go in. I start stabbing people with my dagger. And we see where that takes us.

Tony: No.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 2 years

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Loki: I'll kill you.

Tony: At least buy me a drink first.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Steve: Please, tell me I'm hallucinating.

Tony: [standing next to the burning microwave] Well, I’m dreamy, but try to contain yourself.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Steve: We tried to play Never Have I Ever, but we had to change it to Only Have I Occasionally, so some of us-

Steve: [glances at Tony, who’s absolutely wasted]

Steve: Wouldn’t die from alcohol poisoning.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Tony: Here's a list of things I hate that my partner for some reason loves

Tony: Number one - me.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Bucky: Whatever, so is it a date or not?

Tony: Wait, you were serious? I kinda thought you were just-

Bucky: [grabbing him, using a threatening voice] Then let me be clear. Tonight. My place. 6 o' clock. I'll cook us a nice dinner. It will be a magical evening. Sounds good?

Tony: Okay! Yeah! That sounds lovely! Why do I feel like I'm being mugged?

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Tony: Father always told me that if all the other kids were jumping off a cliff, I should, too.

Bruce: Your father said that?

Tony: He was not a nurturer.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Tony: FUCK!

Steve: [rushes in] Tony, what's wrong? Are you OK? Are you hurt?

Tony: What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine I was just screaming at life in general.

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incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes · 3 years

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Steve: You have a nice ass.

Tony: What was that?

Steve: [flushing] You have nice eyes…?

Tony: I liked the first one better.

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