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#incorrectmerlinquotes
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Merlin: me or Camelot?
Arthur: no! That’s like asking you to choose between me and magic!
Merlin: you, obviously
Arthur:
Merlin: please stop crying of course I would never make you choose
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theroundbartable · 2 years
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Arthur: I've heard rumors that you're often visiting Morgana at night....
Merlin: er yeah. I'm teaching her.... Stuff
Arthur: stuff?
Merlin: yeah, you know *waggles hands"
Later:
Arthur: MORGANA! What are you doing with my -
*walks into room with Morgana and Merlin practising magic*
Merlin: I can explain
Arthur: oh thank god, it's just treason.
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merlinatthetavern · 4 months
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Merlin and Mordred's Pretend Book Club - Part 1!
Merlin: So only me and you know about this Morgana invasion.
Mordred: Because someone accidentily telepathically communicated the details to you.
Merlin: They were like, we invade camelot at 9, are you in? And I was like, well I live there, so would I be technically be invading? And also dinners at nine, so I can't make it. Except I didn't say all that, for obvious reasons.
Mordred: I get accidental telepathic thoughts communicated to me all the time, just last month someone asked me, through the powerful channel of the mind to pass the salt and I thought surely that's by accident because can't they just reach out and get the salt.
Merlin: The salt was literally right next to your hand.
Mordred: Let's focus on the invasion, how are we going to stop it?
Merlin:...We could tell Arthur.
Mordred: Oh I telepathically intercepted a mind message because I am a wizard.
Merlin: And don't worry I'm not going to try to kill you but another powerful sorcerer and her army are paying us a visit tonight and they want to kill you.
Merlin: We could tell the knight to be on guard tonight because there's going to be... a dance of between me and you in the field. That'll be the only reason for them to say awake, especially Gwaine.
Mordred: I'm not dancing while thousands of arrows are aiming at us.
Merlin: It would be like dance off extreme.
Mordred: You could call your suspiciously tall lizzard friend and have him happen to hover over the area about the same time with his wings which he has.
Merlin: No he's in a mood with me right now, I promised I would free him from the shackles which have held him for decades. I decided against the idea because my lizzard kept laughing evilly about the eventual destruction of camelot.
Mordred: I mean wise choice.
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Conversation
Gwaine: Eating is, without a doubt, my favourite of the survival-based activities.
Gwaine: Like, I'll breathe, but I don't enjoy it.
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needsdean · 1 year
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Merlin and Mordred's relationship in season 5 was so funny. I mean, Merlin just kept trying to get rid of him.
Like:
Arthur: Unfortunately, it looks like this mission is going to require a sacrifice. I'm the king, I have some responsibilities, so...
Merlin: Mordred volunteers.
Mordred: Dude...
Or:
Merlin: Sire, I think he's dead. Maybe we should burn his body.
Arthur:
Arthur: Merlin, they just punched him.
Or:
Mordred: listen, Merlin... I have this feeling that you don't like me that much.
Merlin: what—why shouldn't i? Are you fucking stupid?
In a gif:
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Shang Qinghua: Hey, just curious, totally hypothetical question here - if we got married, would I get diplomatic immunity?
Mobei-Jun: What did you do.
Shang Qinghua:
Shang Qinghua: On a completely unrelated note, will you marry me?
Mobei-Jun: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
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Theo: I want to go apple picking! Pumpkin picking! Drink hot cider! Read spooky stories! Murder someone!
Liam: ...
Tho: You know. Autumn shit.
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Virgil: Hey, just curious, totally hypothetical question here — if we got married, would I get diplomatic immunity?
Roman: What did you do?
Virgil:
Virgil: On a completely unrelated note, will you marry me?
Roman: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
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Conversation
Elrond, trying to apologize: ..__ /… ___ ._. ._. _.__
Durin: What was THAT?
Elrond: Remorse code
Durin:
Elrond:
Durin: I'm even angrier with you now.
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Booster: You deserve some sort of award for putting up with me, Buzz. Buzz: You're my award, ranger. XR: You deserve some sort of award for putting up with me, Mira. Mira: Yeah, I do. You're a real idiot sometimes.
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iwasnotaslasher · 2 years
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Cobb: Hey, just curious, totally hypotetical question here... if I got married with the ruler of Mandalore, would I get diplomatic immunity?
Din: *sigh* What did you do?
Cobb: On a completely unrelated note, will you marry me?
Din: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
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Merlin: somethings not right…
Arthur: Another one of your “FunnY fEeliNGs” Merlin?
*bandits run out of the forest*
Arthur: oh fuck
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theroundbartable · 1 year
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Gaius: i can't travel that far anymore, Sire. You should send Merlin. He's ready.
Arthur: Ready? Ready for what? What are you talking about?
Gaius: why did you think Merlin came to Camelot all these years ago?
Gaius: .....
Gaius: did none of you know why Merlin came to Camelot? Who of you didn't know Merlin came to become a physician, raise your hands.
Everyone, minus Gwen: *raise hands*
Gaius: Merlin, put your hand down.
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merlinatthetavern · 4 months
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Merlin and Mordred's Pretend Book Club Part 3.
Merlin: We need to recruit our best fighters.
Mordred: I can fight.
Merlin: (Merlin says telephatically) Are our best fighters not available?
Mordred: You know I can hear you Merlin.
Merlin: Sorry, i forgot to turn my mind on mute.
Mordred: I didn't know you could do that.
Merlin: You can't.
Mordred: Shame, it would be useful.
Mordred: Also you are one to talk about fighting skill Merlin. You may be able to do magic but the last time you held a sword you managed to injure yourself within minutes and you weren't even fighting anyone, you were just holding the sword.
Merlin: It was very heavy!
Mordred: And as well as being able to hold a sword properly and not requiring Gaius full attention afterwards, I can also perform magic. I think sometimes you forget that fact.
Merlin: I think Arthur forgets too, maybe we should tell him! (Merlin says with a sarcastic sense of enthusiasm.)
Mordred: If you tell him, my last words will be...under... Merlin's... bed.
Merlin: I'll just move my magic books somewhere else.
Mordred: In Merlin's cupboard.
Merlin: And there's no where else where I can think to hide them, so I'd be doomed, R.I.P me, we need do get back to this.
(He points at the map.)
Mordred: Merlin you have absolutely no sense of direction, I don't know why you are looking at the map.
Merlin: I barely get lost nowadays, my sense of direction is fine. I always manage to find the people auditioning to be Arthur's next assassin.
Mordred: So we recruit the knights of the round table, and everyone else we can find who wants to fight who we feel like we can trust. To recruit them I say we forge a invasion letter and place it somewhere someone responsible will find it.
Merlin: So for Leon to find?
Mordred: Yes.
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Conversation
Gwen: Why did you two dress as each other for Halloween?
Merlin: Morgana is the scariest thing I could think of.
Morgana: Arthur told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
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needsdean · 1 year
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Arthur: *gives Kara 300 chances and is kind to her*
kara: *refuses them all and treats him like shit*
Arthur: I have no choice but to declare you enemy of Camelot. I sentence you to death.
Mordred:
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