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#incorrectmarketofmonstersquotes
Kovit: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.  Gold: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it. 
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Matt: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?  Kovit: Technically a mix of green and blue?  Matt: So blurple.  Kovit: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.  Matt: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?  Kovit: You were confusing before but now I'm scared. 
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Nita: Do you have a self-care routine?  Mirella: “Keep going bitch” said to myself in different accents. 
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Nita: What kind of a maniac wakes up an hour early to write erotic fanfiction?!  Adair: Me. 
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Kovit: I’ll deal with Fabricio. You take care of Adair.  Nita: Okay, but how do I make it look like an accident?  Kovit: I’m not suggesting murder! Just talk to him, like a normal person! 
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Reyes: (after selling Mirella's eye) Well, I insist you come out.  Mirella: (sitting in her cage) I insist upon staying here.  Reyes: But I insisted first.  Mirella: Well, I insisted louder! 
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Nita: Oh, do me a favor. Peel this apple for me, please.  Adair: No, I'm not gonna peel an apple for you!  Nita: ...But Kovit always does it for me.  Adair: Why does Kovit peel your apples for you?  Nita: He doesn't like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it, he says the skin's loaded with toxins.  Adair: Okay, well, good news - Kovit's not here.  Nita: I know he's not here and that's why I need you to do it for me, please? Please?  Adair: Oh, Jesus, just eat it with the skin on.  Nita: I do not like it with the skin, Adair! I'm not allowed to eat it with the skin! I'M NOT ALLOWED! 
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Nita: (speaking Spanish)  Kovit: I know, I know.  Diana: You speak Spanish?  Kovit: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Nita speaks. 
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Nita: I need life advice.   Adair: (sipping long island ice tea and eating cookie dough) You came to the right person.
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Henry: (to Kovit) YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!  Henry: I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! YOU ARE PRACTICALLY IN MY IMAGE! I RAISED YOU LIKE THE SON I DIDN'T WANT! 
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Kovit, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!  Nita, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.  Adair: What the fuck are you guys doing?  Kovit: Playing systemic oppression. 
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Kovit: What if we get sick of each other?  Nita: We're already sick of each other. It's the best. 
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Mirella: You got a plan?  Nita: Yeah, try to stay alive.  Mirella: You got a good plan? 
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Nita: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one dollar?  Kovit: Exchange it for a hundred pennies, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it. 
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Kovit: I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed. 
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Nita: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.  Adair: Wow, I've gotta hear this.  Nita: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.  Kovit: You forgot pride.  Nita: No, I'm pretty proud of this. 
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