#incorrect wandavision quotes
trina: robbie, can i offer you a bit of advice?
robbie: is it about the way i’m dressed?
trina: yes, but it’s too late for that.
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Purriry: Erika, can i give you a bit of friendly advice?
Erika: Is it about the way I'm dressed?
Purriry, looking her up and down: Yes, but it's too late for that.
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Wanda: I need feminism because when Jesus does a magic trick, it's a miracle, but when a woman does a magic trick, she gets burned at the stake!
Jimmy: I mean.. they did also kill Jesus. That was a pretty significant thing that happened. Like, I understand where you're coming from, but they did very much kill Jesus.
Monica: They only killed him a little. He got better.
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Vision: [asking about pregnancy symptoms] Are your senses heightened?
Wanda: I think I might be pregnant, not bitten by a radioactive spider.
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Dr. Strange x Wanda Maximoff x Loki x Reader
You see a circle of orange spark in the middle of your workout session at your garden.
Dr. Strange: Y/n..
Dr. Strange: Y/n, we-
Y/n: We have a problem. I know.
Dr. Strange: How do you know?
Y/n: You're one of my friends who never invited me to brunch, or hi tea, or coffee.
Dr. Strange: I've been.. busy..
Y/n: Or lack of money. I gave some amount to Wong the other day though. Poor that guy. All he wanted was to buy two sandwiches.
Dr. Strange: Two?
Y/n: Yes, one for you. Of course for you. That guy didn't have any other friends. So I talked to the manager to give him whatever he wants, I'll pay monthly.
Dr. Strange: That's why we've been eating sandwiches for months now! Damn it Wong.
Y/n: So, what's the problem this time?
Dr. Strange: It's uhhhh.. plural.. There are breached in time variant past few days.
Y/n: Why am I not surprised.
Wanda appears: Because it ain't me.
Y/n, shock: Wanda.
Loki appears: It's not me either.
Y/n pulls Wanda closer: Why would I believe you. You're God of mischief for fuck sake!
Loki: Because I'm here. Not plotting for world domination because this is so much worse than 2012. The Time Variance Authority has been breached and it creating and affecting a lot of timeline at the same time. I knew because I was helping them to solve this case.
Wanda: He's telling the truth. I've seen it. It's not pretty Y/n, my kids gone but I still can hearing them asking for my help.
Y/n: Kids? You have kids?! You helped TVA? For free?! Yeah, this is bad.
Y/n gulping: How are we looking, Stephen?
Dr. Strange: If we don't stop it at the right time, we'll be seeing Multiverse of Madness.
Y/n: When I said I want a surprise for my birthday this year, this is not what I meant!!
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Hayward: Wait...you're gay? Why?
Monica: It started off as a seven day free trail, but I forgot to cancel, so here we are.
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Wanda: *gets a papercut*
Me: HASN’T SHE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?!
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wanda: yeah i'm creative
wanda: i create delusions
loki: so you altered reality itself?
loki: and you created a time loop to save earth?
loki: and no time cops ever came to stop you?
wanda and strange: no
loki: all i did was take the tesseract this is unfair
mobius: you weren't SUPPOSED to take the tesseract
loki: I WANTED THE SHINY SPACE ROCK
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Billy and Tommy as babies: [start screaming at 3 AM]
Vision: [half-asleep] Your turn...
Wanda: Ugh, fine...
Wanda: [starts screaming]
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Vision: Wanda, tampons are expensive
Wanda: I know, I’ll pay you back later
Vision: No I mean, they are really expensive
Vision: You didn’t ask for your period
Vision: And you have to pay so much to be sanitary, it’s really unfair
Wanda: Vis, don’t do this now when I’m emotional. If you keep this up I’m going to love you for eternity
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wanda: sasa lele
agatha: its a sale dumb bitch
wanda: it says sasa lele though
agatha: THATS NOT EVEN A WORD
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Peter: I know we're the good guys but do you have a favorite bad guy?
Hela: Ya sweetheart who's your favorite villain
Agatha: Hela, darling don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. We all know who Y/n's favorite is don't we hon
Peter: How did you guys-
Hela & Agatha: * Throw Peter against the wall*
Y/n: Y-you guys aren't supposed to-
Hela: * puts her finger on your lips* Ssssshhhh little lamb, you have one question to answer
Agatha: * stands behind you with hands on your hips* What's it going to be doll
Y/n: * gay panic faints*
Agatha: I obviously made her faint which means I'm her favorite
Hela: Not a chance in hell Aggie, she fainted because she's in the presence of a goddess
Agatha: I know I'm quite stunning aren't I
Hela: * Rolls her eyes*... Do you think they'd mind if we took her for a bit?
Agatha: Who cares?
Hela: You're right
Agatha & Hela: * Teleport away with Y/n*
Peter: How am I going to explain this to the team?
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Agnes: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to let them know I don't care about them.
Dottie: That's brilliant.
Agnes: Thank you, Donna.
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Tommy: Vivian asked for a milkshake, so like a good big brother, I decided to make one. Then she forgot to put the top on the blender.
Wanda: So, you put your baby sister in charge of an electrical appliance?
Tommy: And she let me down.
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Tommy: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Pietro: They do.
Wanda: ...why did you say that with such certainty?
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strange: so how was everyone’s weekend?
agatha: well i stabbed someone in the back, then that led to attempted murder- then a few charges here and there, and a minor police chase and something involving a restraining order-? at least i think so- its all a blur but yeah.... quite mundane if you ask me... how was yours?
wanda: mine was boring too
loki: same here
strange: how.... just- HOW did i get stuck with you guys
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Wanda Maximoff: Did...did you kill your entire coven, including your own mother, for a brooch?
Agatha Harkness: I mean, it was one of the reasons. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
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Vision: Did none of you think that was a bad idea?
Darcy: [looking at Woo and Monica] Oh no, we all did.
Vision: And you went through with it anyway?
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