Vanitas: my boyfriend is wearing a fucking suit to his autism diagnosis appointment
Noé: it's a special occasion
Vanitas: shut the fuck up
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Dazai: We are taking this young lady hostage!
Chuuya: No. Overruled.
Dazai: I overrule your overruling
Chuuya: Must you be so difficult?!
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Noé: Isn't that a bit dangerous?
Vanitas: Oh please, Noé. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.
Noé:....
Vanitas: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.
Noé:....
Vanitas: Alright, we escaped unhurt once...then we hurt ourselves on the way home.
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Vanitas: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Noé: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Vanitas: Stop.
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Noe: Ow!
Vanitas: What’s wrong?
Noe: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.
Vanitas: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.
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Noé: They called you No. 69…
Vanitas: So what? What’s it to you, you stupid, nosy vampi-
Noé: … but you’re my No. 1.
Vanitas: *blinks* *tries to process that* Shut up! And I’m not crying, you are!
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Vanitas: Here's some advice.
Noé: I didn't ask for any.
Vanitas: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.
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If Noé was in the modern day
Modern person: Noè I think you're a bit... Zesty
Noé: pardon?
Modern person: fruity?
Noé: pardon de moi?
Modern person: Gay?
Noé: oui?
Modern person: ... What do you think that means...
Noé: happy?
Modern person: you moron....
Noé: ...??? *confused vampire noises*
There's no way this Victorian era vampire knows modern vocabulary lol
Bonus!
Modern folk: Noè what I think he's trying to say is you're homosexual
Modern person: oui!
Noé: ??
Modern folk: you like other men
Noé: ah non
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