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#incorrect tony quotes
romanoffshouse · 6 months
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[Natasha speaking Russian]
Y/N, sighing: Yeah, I know.
Tony: You speak Russian?
Y/N: No. I just know the phrase, "This is all your fault"
Y/N: She says it a lot.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 3 months
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Tony: I'm a Stark, flirting is part of my heritage.
Clint: What does that mean?
Natasha: His father was a slut too.
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Natasha: *before a mission* Who’s turn is it to give a pep talk?
Steve: *sighs* Y/N’s…
Y/N: *stands dramatically on the table* All right, people, let’s fuck shit up out there and not die!
Tony: *wipes away a fake tear* So inspirational
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abbie-brianna · 2 months
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Peter, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time i got hit by a train.
Tony, coughing on his coffee: Excuse me?
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incorrectwandanat · 4 months
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[angry natasha storming down the hallway]
tony: uh oh.
reader: what?
tony: i see an angry wife heading our way.
reader: yours or mine?
tony: does it matter?
reader: if it's yours, there's a chance we'll live, but if it's mine, we're dead.
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incorrectmarvelquote · 4 months
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Peter: Sometimes Tony asks me “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Peter: I’ve learned that that actually means ‘stop’
Peter: He is never very interested in my thought process
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rxmqnova · 2 months
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Tony: So, are you two dating now?
Y/N & Natasha: Yes.
Tony: Why?
Y/N: I happen to find Natasha very appealing.
Tony: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Natasha.
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Tony: What's the greatest movie ever made?
Peter: Probably Scorsese's Goncharov
Tony: You know Scorsese? Pretty impressed kid not gonna lie
Peter: Thanks mister Stark :), have you seen it? You really should watch it, I think you'll especially like Goncharov's character development
Tony: I haven't, I'll check it out
*Later*
Tony, on his laptop: THAT LITTLE SHIT-
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oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year
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Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad
Peter: “Hey, dad?”
Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-
Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”
Peter:
Peter, tearing up: “Um-”
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ir0npvrker · 1 month
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morgan: *finds a stray cat*
morgan: can we keep it?
pepper: your dad is allergic
morgan:
morgan: dad can stay outside
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beetles4brains · 29 days
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
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romanoffshouse · 3 months
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Tony: Y/N, your phone is ringing.
Y/N: Who is it?
Tony: It says "mommy is calling".
Y/N: Oh, it's Natasha.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 29 days
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Natasha: [accidentally hits Tony with her car]
Tony: You hit me with your car.
Natasha: You hit my car with your body.
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Peter: *Hanging from a chandelier, screeching*
Bucky: *yelling and jumping while trying to get him down*
Tony: *walks into the room* What the hell is going on in here?
Y/N: *calmly eating popcorn and recording* I dared Pete to wake Bucky up from his nap. Popcorn?
Tony: … yeah sure
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lesbian-deadpool · 1 year
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Y/N: If I had shape shifting powers I would abuse the hell out of them.
Y/N: Like if I'm arguing with someone, I'd turn into their dead relative.
Tony: Genius.
Bruce: *Booking them both more therapy sessions*
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marvel-lous-guy · 6 months
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Tony: what the hell were you thinking!?
Peter: Obviously I was thinking I would get away with it and wouldn't have to explain myself!
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