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romanoffshouse · 6 months

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[Natasha speaking Russian]

Y/N, sighing: Yeah, I know.

Tony: You speak Russian?

Y/N: No. I just know the phrase, "This is all your fault"

Y/N: She says it a lot.

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incorrectquotesmcu · 3 months

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Tony: I'm a Stark, flirting is part of my heritage.

Clint: What does that mean?

Natasha: His father was a slut too.

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book-place-incorrect-quotes · 9 months

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Natasha: *before a mission* Who’s turn is it to give a pep talk?

Steve: *sighs* Y/N’s…

Y/N: *stands dramatically on the table* All right, people, let’s fuck shit up out there and not die!

Tony: *wipes away a fake tear* So inspirational

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abbie-brianna · 2 months

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Peter, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time i got hit by a train.

Tony, coughing on his coffee: Excuse me?

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incorrectwandanat · 4 months

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[angry natasha storming down the hallway]

tony: uh oh.

reader: what?

tony: i see an angry wife heading our way.

reader: yours or mine?

tony: does it matter?

reader: if it's yours, there's a chance we'll live, but if it's mine, we're dead.

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incorrectmarvelquote · 4 months

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Peter: Sometimes Tony asks me “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Peter: I’ve learned that that actually means ‘stop’

Peter: He is never very interested in my thought process

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rxmqnova · 2 months

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Tony: So, are you two dating now?

Y/N & Natasha: Yes.

Tony: Why?

Y/N: I happen to find Natasha very appealing.

Tony: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Natasha.

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give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back · 5 months

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Tony: What's the greatest movie ever made?

Peter: Probably Scorsese's Goncharov

Tony: You know Scorsese? Pretty impressed kid not gonna lie

Peter: Thanks mister Stark :), have you seen it? You really should watch it, I think you'll especially like Goncharov's character development

Tony: I haven't, I'll check it out

*Later*

Tony, on his laptop: THAT LITTLE SHIT-

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oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year

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Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad

Peter: “Hey, dad?”

Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-

Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”

Peter:

Peter, tearing up: “Um-”