#incorrect resident evil quotes
Chris: and I brought you myrrh-
Ethan: thank you!
Chris: *pulls out a gun and shoots Mia 20 times in the chest* MYRRH-DER!
Ethan: *gentle, sassy, gasp* Chris, NO-
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Alcina: *crying at Daniela’s funeral* heaven gained a beautiful angle today.
Daniela: *in hell trying to teach the devil how to tik tok*
Daniela: *deep breaths* it’s not that fucking hard! SWING, SNAP, CROCK!
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Angie: i’m smart as fuck.
Alcina: spell orange.
Angie: the fruit or color?
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Alcina: Cassandra go tell Bela, to get her lazy-ass up we need to go soon.
Cassandra: okay. can i say that bad word?
Alcina: go ahead, dear.
Cassandra: *busting into Bela’s room* MOM SAID GET YOUR LAZY MOTHER FUCKING BITCH ASS UP WE NEED TO FUCKING GO SOON.
Alcina: *from downstairs* CASSANDRA THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
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Bela: i’m so over, Y/n. it’s time for me to get out there and spread my-
Bela: wings, spread my wings, Daniela.
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Everyone else, watching a movie: *quiet, makes no sounds*
*big fight scene happens*
Angie the Doll, jumping up in her seat & flailing her tiny arms: “YEAH! GET SOME! GET SOME! BRING ON THE PAIN!!”
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Karl: I'm an idiot.
Alcina: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
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Ethan, face down on the floor: I’m just- I’m just gonna lay here for a bit.
Ethan: if the smell of death and mold becomes too much, go dump me in the lake
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Ethan: karl, are you gay?
Karl: it'd be a hate crime if i wasn't
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Alcina: wanna tell me what happened to my plants?
Cassandra: Daniela poured coffee in them.
Cassandra: she said, and i quote “i’m putting coffee in them to keep them woke”
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[Karl’s babysitting diaries part 2]
Karl: HEY! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TREE!
Daniela: *climbs into the sink*
Karl: GET OUR OF THE FUCKING SINK!
Cassandra: *trying to push the tree over*
Karl: PUSH THAT OVER AND I SWEAR-
Bela: *knocks over Alcina’s priceless glass plates*
Karl: YOU BROKE IT! YOU FUCKING BROKE IT!
Karl: STOP WITH THE FUCKING TREE!
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[Karl’s babysitting diaries part 1]
Karl: ARE YOU TRYING TO EAT A FUCKING BrIcK?!
Daniela: *continues trying to eat her brick*
Karl: GET OUT OF THE FUCKING DOG CAGE CASSANDRA ITS FOR THE- ITS FOR THE DOG!
Cassandra: *continues sitting in the dog cage*
Karl: YOU! STOP WITH THE BRICK!
Karl: WHERE’S YOUR SISTER?! THERE USED TO BE THREE OF YOU-
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Karl: listen- listen. back in my day i could go to the store with a dollar and come back with a candy, a soda, and a bag of chips.
Karl: but nowadays they have cameras.
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Ethan: I’m burning through the sky, yeah
Mia: Ethan, your jacket-
Ethan: Two hundred degrees, that’s why they called me Mr. Fahrenheit
Mia: Ethan! You’re on fire!
Ethan: Who’s ethan? I’m mr. fahrenheit
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*Loud rock music playing in a bedroom; echoing throughout the castle*
Bela (banging on door; because the room is too cold for any of them to swarm into): "Y/n! You know at some point in time. You're gonna have to come out and talk to Mother"
Cassandra (arms crossed; annoyed): "This is like the worse episode of Full House ever!"
Y/n (inside the room): "If mom has something to say to me. I'll hear it from her!. Until then I'll be in my room!"
*music resumes playing loud*
Daniela: "It's not your room!"
Bela: (hits door one more time out of annoyance)
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Moreau: people are always asking me if I’m a day person or a night person. Buddy, I’m barely a person
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we talked about clones and know who's the fake one so the Lords do it too
Heisenberg: we know that Donna's clone would ask us to shoot her...but we also know that Donna wouldn't pass the opportunity to get shoot
Moreau: but how do we know it's not a ruse and it's the real Donna?
Heisenberg: I know! to make sure you are the real Donna... what's Donna's deepest secret fear?
Donna: planes, helicopters and bees
Heisenberg: ALCINA, do we have confirmation on this?
Alcina: it's true, I've seen her freak out and yell in anger whenever she sees those things
Moreau: why are you afraid of those? is it because of the mortality rate?
Donna: ...I don't know how they work and how they fly, so my inner monkey is like "NOPE!", same with bees, their fat asses shouldn't be able to fly!
Heisenberg, completely exasperated: it's called science, you dumb bitch
Donna: SCIENCE IS NOTHING MORE THAN MAGIC THAT'S BEEN EXPLAINED, THEREFORE, THOSE 3 OBJECTS MOVE BY THE POWER OF DEMŒNS!!
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Daniella woke everyone in the middle of the night, saying, that she has something to show all of them. Now the whole Demitrescu family and they gueast are in the main hall. Alcinia, being more awake one, holds her still asleep wife in one hand. Bela and Cassandra are leaning on each other, still very sleepy. Zoe is the only one, who seems completly awake, tho her eyes keep periodicaly closing.
Excited Daniella stands in front of them, rocking back and forth. In her hands she holds big rolled up sheet of paper.
Daniella: Nope! Not gonna show you anything! Not a thingy! I'll go and all blueprints i'll destroy!
Everyone is too concentrated on keeping they eyes open, to react to Dani's shenanigans in any way.
Daniella: Okay, fine. I'll show you.
Dani unwraps her paper, revealing crude drawing of bicicle, with it's chain attached to forward wheel.
Daniella: I didn't come with the name yet. But you sit here, rotate these pedals. With this thing you steer. And this chain rotates forward wheel and you go.
Zoe: Better back wheel.
Daniella: Huh... yeah, i think back wheel would be better.
Mia, with a yawn: That's a bike.
Daniella: A what?
Alcinia: Honey, you invented a bicicle.
Daniella: What's a bicicle?
Cassandra: You never saw a bicicle?
Bela: You should read more books.
Danilla: Wha- wha- what do you mean? Y-y-you want to... You want to tell me, somebody already invented this!?
Everyone tries to go back in they beds, but Dani stops them.
Danilla: Nobody leave! World, prepare to be changed! *Falls to her knees and starts drawing on a floor* Come, see! A new game! Here you put X, and here O, here X....
Bela: Tic Tac Toe.
Daniella: That's right! Tic Tac Toe..! Wait... what do you mean?
Alcinia: Honey, i don't know what scares me more. Your inventive abbilities or your uneducation. I thought i taught you better.
Zoe: That's a very old game, Red.
Daniella: Old... Well, okay! But, what you'll say about that! *Jumps near Zoe* Dance, that will, fucking, change the world. Performed by author! *Takes Zoe's hands and starts actievly dance, while loudly humming it's rhithm*
Alcina: *Sigh* That's Tango, honey.
Daniella, panting: Wha... you mean..?
If somebody has questions on why all these characters here together, please refer to @highlifeboat , since it's set in their canon.
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Ethan: I'm what the Romanians would call a "vile, ill tempered, and thoroughly wretched tiny little creature".
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Daniela: i- uh- Cass. . . .
Daniela: i- um, might be stuck in the bathroom!
Cassandra: i don’t care!
Daniela: i- uh- pfft- ah *pulls doorknob off handle* wha- ah.
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