*KorTac and 141 stuck in a safe house while on a mission together*
Soap: YOU ASSHOLES NEED TO DO YOUR FUCKING DISHES-
König: MacTavish, calm down-
Soap: DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU TREE! DO YOUR FUCKING DISHES THE MOMENT YOU’RE FINISHED WITH THEM
König:
König: Okay
Soap: *storms off*
Horangi: … Did you seriously just let him get away with that? You’re a higher rank than him!
König: He’s scary when mad okay!
Horangi: I’ve seen you fight Ghost! How are you scared of Soap but not him!?
König: A man who yells and cusses while hiding nothing from the world is more frightening than a man who hides behind a mask. I would know
Horangi:
Horangi: Fair enough
306 notes
·
View notes
Crowley loves his angel who can be cute AND can kick ass 😌
Incorrect Good Omens Quotes Masterpost Part 1 : here
Incorrect Good Omens Quotes Masterpost Part 2 : here
124 notes
·
View notes
kindergarten teacher, handing out popsicles: which flavor do you want?
percy: blue flavor!
kindergarten teacher: uh, you mean blue raspberry?
percy: blue flavor! blue flavor!
kindergarten teacher: blue is not a flavor!
percy: BLUE FLAVOR!
284 notes
·
View notes
Pepper: We’ve run out of kids shampoo so I’ve just been using ours for the kids-
Tony: I thought their hair looked older-
Pepper: Shut up
Tony: I thought Peter had the hair of a 45 year old man, change it back!
Pepper: Tony-
Tony: Morgan’s gone grey!
192 notes
·
View notes
Eddie: Hey, do you happen to know the names of the neighbors from across the street?
Buck: Eddie, this is your house. I don't live here.
Eddie: ...
Buck, huffs: Miranda and Samuel Jones. They have two kids, Kris and Vicky, and the grandfather lives with them too...
131 notes
·
View notes
have you ever thought about how out of all the men in PJO and HOO, percy is the least like annabeth? they complement each other so beautifully, like 2 puzzle pieces that are a perfect fit, but they’re SO different. like imagine…
piper: annabeth is dating one of these 4 men
hazel: *gestures to percy, jason, frank, and leo*
piper: guess which one
random person: hmm… i’d say frank. he’s the son of the god of war and she’s the daughter of the goddess of battle strategy. they’re both incredible fighters and stategists. i bet they are amazing together
percy: 😐
hazel: *nervously laughs*
piper: um, nope! try again!
random person: oh? really? ok well then defintily jason. son of zeus? well mannered, always in control of the situation, very humble and honorable. as a daughter of athena, he’s totally her type. they are both very calm and level-headed. they both are leaders and know how to weigh the options and outcomes quickly in a tough situation. plus, they are both blonde with light eyes, so they would have beautiful babies!
percy: 😒
piper: *nervously laughs*
hazel: um… still no! one more try!
random person: oh wait… i’m so stupid! it’s obvious!
hazel: there you go! i also think it’s obv-
random person: it’s leo! why didn’t i see it? he’s a mechanic. she’s an architect. they are perfect together! she’s a creator and he’s a fixer. their brains work so much like each other. they’re basically meant to be! oh and they are both from the south!! and i bet-
piper: IT’S PERCY! she is dating percy. perseus jackson. you know, the one on the left? tall, tan, lean, black hair, green eyes? him and only ever him.
random person: oh
percy: 🤨
random person: the… the son of poseidon?? the hot sarcastic bad boy? with that troublemaker look about him? the one with severe mood swings, and who gets expelled from every single school he goes to?
percy: *awkwardly looks down at his hands*
random person: HE’S annabeth chase’s boyfriend??
annabeth: damn right he is 🥰
169 notes
·
View notes
Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Damian: Meditation keeps the mind at peace. It protects your head from everything external.
Jason: *throws a shoe at him
Damian: What the f*ck, Todd?
Jason: Except external sources of pain apparently.
150 notes
·
View notes
Naruto: Hold on, I’m having one of those things - a headache with pictures
Gai: huh?
Kakashi: he’s having an idea
115 notes
·
View notes
Dream: Reverse gaslighting where I pretend to know exactly what you're talking about
Blueberry: ACADEMIC CONFERENCES
Dust: Work meetings
Axe: Interviews
Error: Auditory processing disorder
Killer: Conversations with my cats who are yelling
Cross: Me letting some kid in a random AU tell me every single fact they know about their hyper fixation
Ink: Goncharov (1973)
116 notes
·
View notes