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#incorrect quotes avengers
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Thor: At the end of the day, we are brothers
Loki: If you take out the ‘r’ it becomes ‘bother’, which I think is much more fitting
Thor:
Thor: Brothe
Loki:
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incorrectmarvelquote · 2 hours ago
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MJ: I thought you said we were going someplace private?
Peter: [from inside his pillow fort] Not even my cat is allowed in here
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arcemo17 · 2 hours ago
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Sam: I hate you!
Bucky: …he shouted.
Sam: What?
Bucky: …he said.
Sam: Stop it!
Bucky: …he commanded
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incorrectquotesmcu · 4 hours ago
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Loki: I’ll have a glass of your finest wine.
Y/N: Loki, this is McDonalds.
Loki: Okay, sorry.
Loki: I’ll have a McWine.
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natromanoffxox · 5 hours ago
Can I request a nat x reader fic where reader is a helicopter pilot that has flown on a lot of missions with nat and they get to know each other really well and one day r’s chopper gets shot down and lands in like a river or something. And nat thinks they’re gone but r lives! Then they confess to each other pls.
This is such a cute request! Well… not the whole crash and nearly dying but but… YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN😩
Warnings: Swearing, Injuries.
(This has not been proof read, please be kind!)
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Crashes And Confessions
You loved your job. Truly. Not only because you worked for SHIELD and very close with the Avengers, the group that were constantly saving the world and trying to make it a better place for us all to live. You got a damn good pay. You got to fly the quinjet, and many other aircrafts the company held. But what you loved the most, was your missions with Natasha Romanoff.
Since you got the job, she was kind to you from the start. You’d heard about her from your colleagues, saying that she was cold and closed off, but you didn’t find that. She spoke to you about anything. Any topic, you’d have a conversation about it. You’d grown closer to one another over the months you’d been working for SHIELD, and you loved it.
You weren’t always with the red head of course. You’d flown with all of the other Avengers, and they were all lovely people. Wanda was high on your list of favourites, but when it came down to it, you definitely favoured Natasha the most. You and her… You just clicked. Your banter was exactly the same, making sparks of witty remarks fly between you two once you were together.
“Morning, loser.” She smirked as she fell into the co pilot seat beside you. Another day, another mission. You rolled your eyes with a grin at her lovely greeting.
“Yeah, good morning to you too, asshole.” You began flipping the switches and getting ready to set of, gesturing for her to lock herself in. Safety first and all that.
“Y/L/N to Hill, can you hear me? Over.”
“Affirmative, Y/L/N. You’re all set to head off. In and out, get back safe. Over.”
As soon as you had confirmation to leave, you lifted to helicopter into the sky and towards your destination. Your headphones were on, but the mics could be disconnected from the compound which meant you and Natasha could talk easily over the noise.
“What are you doing this time?” You asked, as you always did. You liked to know what she was getting herself in to, so you knew whether it was going to be a quick job for you to leave the helicopter running, or a set her down and get out of sight til you get her call for collection kind of job.
“Just collecting some information, basically a two minute job. I don’t see why they sent me, a lower agent could have done this shit.” She moaned as she shifted to find a more comfortable spot in the chair.
“What?” You gasped, laying your hand over your heart over dramatically. “And not spend time with me?! Do you not love me anymore?!”
She rolled her eyes and smirked, making you let your act drop and giggle along with her. You knew they could’ve sent a lower level agent, but you were grateful they sent Nat. You liked how her presence made you feel, and you loved spending time with her.
You were just chatting together when you were interrupted by something hitting the back end of the aircraft, sending you off route but you managed to shift it back quickly.
“What the fuck was that?” You looked around trying to see if anything had broke, seeing some smoke coming from the hind of the helicopter. “That doesn’t look good.”
Another came, but much closer this time. If you didn’t have your seatbelts on, you most certainly would have had some painful injuries from the thud. You were losing control, and trying to keep your shit together, but the way the vehicle was spinning uncontrollably, there was no way you could make an easy crash landing.
“Natasha, jump!” You shouted at her as you unclipped your belt, finding a parachute for the both of you. You hadn’t actually had a situation like this during all of your time as a pilot, which caused your heart to race but you tried to keep your breathing under control. You were getting closer and closer to the ground, dropping lower and lower to the level where a parachute would be useless.
“Jump!” She grabbed your hand and pulled you out, waiting a couple seconds before pulling her shoot open and stopping her fall. You on the other hand… You pulled the release cord, and nothing. You tried it again and again, but you just continued to fall at a terrifying speed. The only thing that stopped you from passing out with fright, was the fact that you were directly above water. If you landed correctly, you might stand a chance. Might. It was probably a 20/80 chance you would, which didn’t exactly help your nerves. You rid the parachute, removing any unnecessary weight to help if you did survive the dive into the deep river.
************************************************
Natasha’s heart rate skyrocketed. She couldn’t see you. You’d jumped with her, but she didn’t see you pull your shoot, and she couldn’t see you to try and fly down to catch you. She watched as the helicopter hit the floor and the whole aircraft went up in flames, the explosion so big she felt the heat from where she was hanging miles high in the sky. She knew she shouldn’t panic. She knew she shouldn’t think the worst straight away. But she did. All she could think was maybe you didn’t jump, maybe you were still inside when it crashed. Maybe your parachute didn’t open and you’d fell to the ground as a brutal speed, a speed that would most definitely kill you.
As soon as she was a couple meters from the floor she pulled the backpack from her and jumped to the ground, rolling to a stop and running to the scene. She couldn’t see you anywhere. You weren’t in the sky, you weren’t on the floor, and she couldn’t see through the flames to check if you were inside the melting, burned out aircraft.
She sucked in a breath, her heart stopping for a moment, before letting it out slowly and closing her eyes. It took her a moment to compose herself, before clicking her earpiece on.
“Agent Romanoff to Hill. Aircraft down. Pilot Y/L/N, MIA.” She spoke in a strict tone, one she only used for work colleagues she didn’t really know well enough to be friendly with.
“Rescue team are on their way, Agent. Hang in there.”
And Hill was right. Natasha heard the blades of the recovery teams aircraft getting closer and closer by the second, and she tried to hold herself together for them arriving. She couldn’t be seen panicking. She couldn’t be seen actually feeling emotional to the potential loss of you. She had to stay professional. But her heart was breaking. Every breath felt like she was being stabbed in the chest. Every movement made her feel weaker, like she just wanted to fall to the floor and stay there until she heard the words she needed to hear so desperately. That you were alive.
She didn’t know why she felt the way she did. The way her body felt like it was giving in just on an idea. The way her breath hitched in her throat every time she thought that you might have still been inside the helicopter when it hit the ground in flames. The way tears pricks to her eyes when she thought about possibly never seeing you again.
It took hours of searching. Steve had came with the rescue team, keeping Natasha by his side the whole time. He could tell she was shaken up by the way she hardly spoke. She gave simple answers like ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Sometimes she just shook her head in answer. She didn’t tell him what happened. All she said was that they needed to find you. And that was all she cared about. The agents were scanning the area, while Steve and Natasha went further out, walking along the river edge, her eyes wide in search for you.
“Nat, you need to calm down. We will find her!” Steve told her in a calm voice as he looked out over the water, squinting as he tried to look further out for any sign of your body.
“Calm down? How the fuck am I meant to calm down?! You have no idea how much she-“
“Natasha!” He interrupted her meltdown mid way, stopping them both in their tracks as he pointed further down the bay. A body lay, motionless, washed up on the river edge. You. It was you.
She’d never ran so quick in her life, actually keeping up with Captain America himself, skidding to a holt as she dropped down by your body. Steve had your wrist in his hand, trying to find a pulse while Natasha was checking you over for wounds.
“She’s alive.” He stated, before starting chest compressions and breathing into your mouth. She felt a wave of jealousy wash over her, wanting to punch the super soldier in the jaw for touching you in such a way, but she told herself he was potentially saving you life. Just like that, your body shot forward. You coughed up lungs full of water, choking slightly as you tried to catch your breath. She rolled you to your side, patting your back trying to help you realise the liquid so you could get a gasp of air.
“Aw, that was disgusting.” You stuttered out, making Natasha fall back with a sigh of relief. She could stop the smile from spreading over her face knowing you were alive, and her hand never left your back, slowly running up to your shoulder. You lay back down, breathing deeply with your eyes closed and arms spread out wide beside you.
“So much for in and out, Hill.”
Steve even let out a chuckle himself, quietly letting Natasha know that he was going to go find a medic to check you over, leaving the two of you alone. Natasha shuffled to be closer to you, taking your hand in hers as she let out a shaky breath.
“That was one hell of a mission.” You chuckled, eyes still closed.
“I thought I’d lost you.” Nat spoke in a tiny voice, sounding so weak and insecure. Your eyes shot open at her tone, making you sit up from your place on the dirt floor and turning towards her.
“Oh, honey.” You gave her a look that showed her how much you cared for her. You should have told her months ago, but were scared you’d ruin your friendship. “They’d have to try harder than that to kill me off.”
Joking was probably the wrong attitude to go for right now, but it put a smile on both of your faces so you kept it up. Her hand was over yours, so you lay your empty one over the top of hers.
“I’m glad I get to spend another day with you.”
“More than another day. Forever, hopefully.” Natasha’s eyes were locked on yours, and your smirk crept into a smile. A smile of love and happiness. She shared your feelings! You never in a million years would have thought that Natasha Romanoff, one of the most beautiful women you’d ever met in your life, would ever see something in you. But she did! She fucking did!
“Keep hoping, asshole.”
You smirked up at her, squeezing her hand before pulling her down to your face. You lips were centimetres apart, eyes locked on one another’s. It would only take one of you to move an inch and your lips would touch. You didn’t know whether to make the move, or to leave the choice up to her. You wondered if she was thinking the same thing though, or the fact you’d just coughed up a load of river water which was pretty gross.
“For god sake, Y/N, just k-“ You stopped her words from leaving her mouth as you pressed your lips to hers, silencing her. Even though she was literally about to tell you to do it, she still let out a tiny gasp of surprise before her hands found their place; one in your hair and the other lay lightly on your cheek. Yours were lay on her chest, pulling her closer by the collar of her suit. You don’t know how long you both stayed locked together, barely able to catch a breath, before you heard the crunching of leaves as someone approached. You reluctantly pulled away, resting your head on hers and letting out a almost inaudible giggle. It was probably the girliest noise you’d ever made, which made your cheeks flush red.
“Natasha, the doctor-“ He stopped when he saw the two of you and how close your bodies were. He instantly realised why Natasha was so worried, why she was almost close to tears as they’d searched for you earlier. Why she couldn’t speak. She was in love with you. He could see it in her eyes now. Steve cleared his throat before speaking again.
“The doctors here to check over Y/N. We can all go back home after.”
She barely moved from your side as the medic came and done the necessary checks. You most probably had a concussion, and you were weak from the crash, but other than that, you were basically as healthy as you could be.
Nat and Steve pulled you to your feet, helping you walk the long strip back to the awaiting aircraft that was ready to take you back to the compound. Natasha’s hand never left yours, even as you sat in the helicopter, her fingers tangled with yours. You lay your head on her shoulder and let your lids flutter closed when you felt her lay a soft kiss on the back of your hand that she held. Yeah, you really loved that woman, and you couldn’t wait to spend forever with her.
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slutforcap · 6 hours ago
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You: *walks in to Peter talking to himself in the mirror*
Peter: Oh hi Y/N!
You: what are you doing?
Peter: I'm practicing. I'm going to be more assertive from now on!
Peter: ... if that's okay with you...
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arcemo17 · 7 hours ago
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Mobius: This is all your fault!
Loki: Why do you make everything about me?
Mobius: Do you want me to stop?
Loki: No!
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wlwfanfictionss · 7 hours ago
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Y/N, talking to Natasha on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Natasha: You bet! Y/N: At what temperature? Natasha: 535. Y/N: That's the clock. Natasha: Y/N: Natasha: 536.
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wlwfanfictionss · 7 hours ago
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Natasha: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Steve: Isn't that just killing people?
Natasha: Ah, technicality.
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wlwfanfictionss · 7 hours ago
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Peter: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife? Natasha: Rude. Bucky: That’s fair. Sam: Not again. Y/N: Are you going to want this back?
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wlwfanfictionss · 7 hours ago
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Y/N: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Natasha: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Bruce: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
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fandombroker · 8 hours ago
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Incorrect Stucky x Y/n
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Steve : Why are you on the floor?
Bucky : I'm depressed...
Bucky : Also, I was stabbed. Can you get Y/n, please.
***
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natromanoffxox · 8 hours ago
Ooh! How bout a Nat x Reader where R is incredibly hurt from restraining the whole team & brings them back on the quinjet to HQ after they accidentally inhaled a raging mindless smoke from an abandoned HYDRA base & attacked R & I mean bullets, arrows, punches from a super soldier. At medic, the smoke wears off & the team remember everything. Feeling really guilty & awful they make it their mission to look after R. Especially Natasha, who can’t get the image of putting a bullet in R out her head.
Added to request: Oh! Forgot to include, reader doesn’t hold any grudges and keeps telling the team “I forgive you guys! Please stop!” But as usual, the team won’t stop spoiling reader.
This was crazy to write, so I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted! I had to give this a good ending for Nat, because quite frankly I love her too much not to😂 Thank you for your request❤️
Warnings: Swearing, violence, injuries (I think that’s it?)
(This has not been proof read, please be kind!)
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Guilty
Shit show.
That was the only words you could think to describe this mission. It was one thing after another. After you’d all been called in for a briefing, you set off to get ready for your given task: a new HYDRA base they’d just found out about.
It started with Tony’s suit not working the way it should have. Something about the shooters not reacting correctly.
Next was a delay with the flight there, as the pilot got stuck in the bathroom stall.
Wanda had a wave of sickness and had vomited during the flight, which made Clint constantly gag as he was closest to the bathroom and could smell everything she’d threw up.
When you’d finally arrived, you all set off to get the job done. You’d prayed it would be an easy enough task, but clearly God was not granting your wishes today.
You knew something was off. You knew it. That feeling became correct when you watched as your team mates entered an empty lab, just as you screamed for them to stop. But it was to late. Gas filled the room and the cloud was so thick you couldn’t actually see any of them. As it started to clear, you quickly ran to the door, worried as to what the hell they had just inhaled.
You shouldn’t have.
Clint was the first out, swinging his fist towards you with pure rage in his eyes, but luckily you managed to dodge him just in time.
“What the fuck, Barton?!” You shouted at him, but you got no response, only more punches thrown your way before you saw him reach for his bow. You turned to your team mates, hoping any of them were well enough to help you out, only for you to be thrown back, hitting the wall with a thud. Your chest heaved heavily, struggling to catch your breath. Steve had fucking hit you. What the hell?!
It was one after another, fighting off your team mates, your family, and it was one hell of a struggle. You’d dodged arrows, taken hits from the super soldier and somehow even managed to hold Nat off. But you were getting weaker and weaker, and you knew there was only one thing you could do to get out alive.
“CODE GREEN! CODE GREEN! BRUCE GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!” You’d screamed through the comms, making damn sure he knew it was an emergency. Luckily, you’d managed to knock Wanda out early in the fight, because if she was still conscious, you’d definitely be dead. Steve threw his shield in your direction, and you felt the metal breeze past your ear, and smacking so hard against the wall it stuck into the brickwork. You’d had an arrow stuck in your thigh from Clint, but you knew you’d bleed out a lot quicker if you attempted to remove it yourself, so it stayed there until you could get back to the quinjet. You needed help though, because holding off the Avengers was not an easy task at all.
Thankfully, Hulk crashed through the wall just as you took another hit from Steve that had you coughing up speckles of blood onto the floor. The green beast quickly shut him down, sending the soldier flying across the room. You’d knocked Clint out with Steve’s shield that came loose from the wall when Hulk broke through it, which only left Tony and Natasha. You were thankful for Tony’s suit fucking up today, because if he hit you with one of his beams, well… You’d definitely be having a closed casket funeral. Hulk was by your side, and you send him off to deal with Tony as you took Natasha.
She held absolutely no emotion other than fury. Undenied wrath. Complete savagery. And it was fucking terrifying. Natasha was a scary woman to begin with, but Black Widow, she was something else. You weren’t as quick, or as skilled, which quickly led to you being pinned as she pulled out her gun from her holster.
“Nat! Stop!” You begged, tears in your eyes and you struggled to get her off of you, but she was a highly trained assassin, one of the best in the world. There was no getting away from her.
You watched as her finger went to the trigger, almost as if everything was going in slow motion. The bullet flew out just as hulk pushed her off of you, moving the gun from pointing at your head, to your shoulder. As soon as that little piece of metal entered your body though, the slow motion stopped, pulling you back to real time as agony kicked in. You let out a scream as the pain radiated through you, making even Hulk spin to check what was going on.
He came over to help you, ready to pick you up but you stopped him by shaking your hands.
“We have to get them back to the jet. Carry as many as you can, I’ll get Natasha.” You choked out, refusing to give into the pain and to get back home. Hulk had Wanda, Steve and Tony, while you had Clint and Natasha. Thankfully (or not so thankfully) Clint was waking groggily, making it easier to carry him as he kind of trudged along, taking a bit of weight off of your shoulder that currently held a metal bullet. It took you much longer than Hulk, staggering along the hallway, trying not to cry out as the waves of distress washed through you with every step, but you refused to give up. No one get left behind. As much as you could feel your body giving up on you, you knew Hulk was in a state of rage due to finding his team mates trying to kill you that he would of happily left them all there. You couldn’t do that to them, even if you knew if you didn’t see a doctor soon, you weren’t going to make it home alive. You could feel the blood flowing from your shoulder and from the arrow in your thigh. Your brow was split open, your nose pissing out more red liquid and your right eye was nearly swollen shut. You’d definitely had many broken ribs, and the blood loss was sending you dizzy.
A group of medics were at your side as soon as you dropped the two bodies into their seats, rushing you off to start fixing you up. Once your body lay down on the bed, you were out.
—————————
When you eyes fluttered open, an ache radiating through your body the instant you woke. Though you expected nothing less. A doctor was by your side, quick to examine you, shining a light in your eyes and asking you random questions like do you know where you were, the year, your birthday and your name. You guessed it was to make sure you had no memory loss. Once he filled you in on your injuries, he left you to rest, but that is exactly what you didn’t do.
The result of your fight against your team mates left you with: 3 broken ribs, a bullet wound that would probably leave a scar, an arrow that was now removed that definitely was going to leave a scar, blackened eyes, a broken nose, 4 fingers broken or fractured, a dislocated toe, and in total, 132 stitches.
It was not a nice feeling to say the least. But you couldn’t blame them. They were drugged by the gas, so if you had anyone to blame, it was HYDRA. Or maybe even yourself, for not taking action on that gut feeling you had the moment you left the jet.
You’d been kept in the medbay for over a week, as the doctors wanted to keep you under surveillance due to how many injuries you had. You’d slept through most of the time, given the fact they were dosing you with god knows how much pain killers, but you weren’t complaining.
Today, you woke to see a new bouquet of flowers. They were a mixture peonies and Lilly’s, your two favourite flowers. You wondered who knew that about you…
“Afternoon, sleepy head.” You heard beside you, making you turn your hair to the voice. There sat Tony, a sad smile on his face as he looked into your eyes.
“Kid, I can’t even begin to say how sor-“
“It wasn’t your fault.” You stopped him, refusing to accept his unneeded apology. You saw the guilt in his eyes, and took his hand in yours.
“It wasn’t any of your fault.”
It continued like that for days. No matter who it was that came to see you in your hospital bed, they all had guilt ridden faces and the only words they could seem to muster up was ‘I’m sorry’. You wanted them to stop blaming themselves, and you’d told them it was okay to feel guilty, because if the tables were turned you imagined you’d feel exactly the same, but you’d accepted their apologies over a hundred times!
It only got worse when you were finally allowed to leave the medbay. You were able to walk about freely, but you were certainly on desk duty for the foreseeable. It started with Steve. He’d made you every meal every day, and they weren’t just toast or cereal or ordered pizza. No, they were full on gourmet Gordon Ramsey style fucking dishes. You’d appreciated the first few, but after that, you’d found yourself growing irritated by him going out of his way to cook for you. He’d changed his schedule to fit with yours, so he was always there when you got hungry.
Then there was Clint. He was a sweetheart. He’d made sure that you didn’t have to lift a finger, doing all the cleaning and chores you would usually do. Your laundry, cleaning your room, your bathroom, doing the dishes when it would usually be your night. Though they all chipped in on that part, no one let you do anything. They made you feel like a walking porcelain doll that could break at any moment.
Tony had spent more money in the past week than you think he ever had. He’d bought you a new car, but not any old car… Nope, your dream car. A Mercedes AMG one. Something you knew you would never ever be able to afford. You’d lost your mind when he gifted you the keys, telling him he was a fool and to take it back immediately. But he’s Tony Stark, of course he wasn’t going to return the car. You’d huffed and puffed about it, but dropped it knowing he wasn’t going to change his mind. You couldn’t even drive it for at least another few weeks as your body was still healing and you didn’t was to risk possibly crashing and killing your self.
Wanda was by your side constantly. She’d made you cups of tea, bought you new outfits, brought you flowers every single day. She was a real darling, but just like the others, she was doing it out of guilt. You hadn’t realised how much your team really knew about you til you saw them gifting you with all of your favourite things.
Natasha, though… Well, you barely saw her. She was hardly ever in the same room as you, and when she was, she couldn’t even look at you. You’d caught her eye a few times, but the deep regret you’d saw in her eyes made yours fill up with tears. It broke your heart to see her like that.
It went on for weeks. You missed her so much. You never realised how much you wanted her around until now. You never realised how much her presence made you happy until now. How her smile would light you up inside. How her laugh would have your body tingling just from the simple noise. You felt cold without her. You felt alone, even with all of your other team mates around you. You just wanted her. That was the only gift you truly desired. You’d happily burn your AMG if it meant you could have Natasha back with that cheeky smirk of hers written on her face as she made some sort of cocky comment. The crew must have noticed your down mood, which only led to more and more gifts and gestures, until you snapped.
“Stop! Stop it. I love you, and it’s really sweet what you’re doing, but I forgive you guys! Please, stop!” Your outburst stunned them, and it even brought Natasha’s eyes towards you. You held your hands in the air as if to gesture for them to stay still.
“We’re sorry. It’s just, we don’t know how else to make it up to you.” Wanda said in a tiny voice, but you barely took notice of their wide eyes. Your focus was on the red head across the room, the one who had been avoiding you since you’d came back from the mission.
“You. Follow me.” You pointed at her, speaking in a hard tone so she knew not to ignore you. You don’t know what’d you’d do if she did. You exited the living area, heading straight towards your room and you could hear her foot steps behind you. Once you were there, you waited by your open door until she entered, and you closed and locked the door behind you.
“Why are you avoiding me?” You kept all your attention on her, but she didn’t didn’t lift her head from staining at the rug under her as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and she was obviously tense, but you needed to know.
“Please, Nat. Is it something I’ve done? Please tell me.”
“No!” Her emerald green eyes shot up to meet yours, “No, don’t think it’s anything you have done. It’s… It’s what I done.”
You took a cautious step forward, and when she didn’t flinch away, you continued until you were right in front of her. You wanted to touch her, to make wipe away the sad expression she held, but you didn’t dare.
“It’s… I…” She stuttered, eyes looking anywhere but yours again. You could’ve sworn you saw the glaze of tears in them, making you reach out to lay your hand on her arm. “Every time I look at you I see myself pointing a gun to your head.”
Her voice came out in a shaky whisper, and your heart shattered. You didn’t think about them actually remembering all of the things they done to you, and how it would make them feel. It was true, Natasha was seconds away from killing you, if it wasn’t for hulk, you wouldn’t be stood in front of her right now.
You couldn’t find any other way to try to comfort her, to ease her mind, to let her know that it wasn’t her fault. The only thing that came to mind was…
You pressed your lips to hers, shocking both Natasha and yourself by your action, but you didn’t pull away. In fact you pushed further into her, cupping her face with your hands. You felt her body relax, her lips move against yours and you smiled into the kiss, feeling her do exactly the same. Her arms shifted from being wrapped around her chest to being around your neck, her fingers tangling in your hair. When you eventually pulled apart, your foreheads rested together and you basically panted for breath.
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll put a gun to your head?” You joked, finally hearing that god sent chuckle you loved so much.
“Normally I would say that seems slightly extreme, but given the circumstances I shall allow it.” She smirked, pulling you back in and locking her lips with yours.
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westannatasharomanoff · 9 hours ago
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*dogsitting*
Tony: Okay, now we’re supposed to give him one of these treats.
Natasha: Ugh, why do they smell so bad?
Bruce: They’re made of dried bull penises. 
Natasha: Ew!
Natasha: *drops the bag, grabs a pair of pliers, and uses them to give the dog the treat.*
Natasha: Well, that’s the first time I’ve handled a penis with a pair of pliers in a while.
Bruce and Tony: *back away slowly*
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marvelgaynesstothemax · 9 hours ago
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The Avengers, getting to know the Defenders: Have you ever met someone who is academically smart, but still simultaneously the dumbest person alive?
The Defenders: *Slowly turns to look at Matt*
Matt: I-
Matt: Ok, yeah that’s fair.
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mcusical · 9 hours ago
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In an au where Tony lives after endgame and loki's been to the TVA:
Sam: How did you figure out Time Travel, by the way?
Tony: Using a mobius strip.
Loki, who knows nothing about earth's technology:*Chokes* he whAT?
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justasociallyawkwardgeek · 11 hours ago
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Loki: Come here
Thor: Why?
Loki: Just come here
Thor: No, you’re going to stab me
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