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#incorrect pepper potts quotes
incorrectwandanat · 4 months
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[angry natasha storming down the hallway]
tony: uh oh.
reader: what?
tony: i see an angry wife heading our way.
reader: yours or mine?
tony: does it matter?
reader: if it's yours, there's a chance we'll live, but if it's mine, we're dead.
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ir0npvrker · 29 days
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morgan: *finds a stray cat*
morgan: can we keep it?
pepper: your dad is allergic
morgan:
morgan: dad can stay outside
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oscorp-lawsuit · 1 year
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Pepper: Tony, why do you keep ignoring lab safety protocol when it always ends in some sort of explosion or OSHA violation?
Tony: Well, Pep, some of the greatest scientific discoveries were made by ignoring lab safety protocol. Besides, Tony backwards spells “Y Not” so it’s really in my namesake.
Pepper:
Pepper: Did Peter give you that one?
Tony: Yes, he did.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Tony: We have decided that if anything happens to me or Pepper, we’d want Nat to be Morgan's guardian.
Natasha: That is great news! Morgan, when something horrible happens you’re going to be all mine.
Pepper: It really is more of an ‘if’ situation.
Natasha: All mine!
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lesbian-deadpool · 11 months
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Pepper: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Tony's birthday invitations.
Y/N: Well, what are they supposed to say?
Pepper: "Tony's birthday".
Y/N: So, what do they say instead?
Pepper: "Tony's bi".
Y/N: 
Y/N: Works out either way.
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Pepper: why are you following me?
Tony: because we’re dating now
Pepper: okay… what about Rhodey?
Tony: we’re a package deal
Rhodey: buy one idiot, get one free
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literaryavenger · 5 months
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Y/N, entering the common room: I slept for 15 hours. What have I missed?
Sam, trying to be funny: this dick.
Y/N: oh thank god, I thought I missed something big.
Steve: *spits water*
Tony, proud: that's my daughter.
Bucky, prouder: that's my girl.
Rest of the team: *dies laughing*
Sam:
Sam: honestly, fuck you all.
Pepper, concerned: WAIT you slept 15 HOURS???
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strangeironaf · 1 year
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*Family group chat*
Tony: who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Peter: >:0 language
Morgan: yeah dad, watch your fucking language
Stephen: OKAY WHO TAUGHT MORGAN THE FUCK WORD
America: 'the fuck word'
Pepper: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time.
Harley: oh my god she censored it
Tony: Say fuck Pepp
Christine: do it Pepper. Say fuck.
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And they were strangers
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Part 1: And they were roommates
Summary: It’d only been a week since you left but Wanda was a mess and you weren’t doing much better, luckily a friend is here to keep you company and maybe even have a bit of fun with Wanda at the party you guys planned
A/n: Never written for a succubus before but hopefully it’s somewhat correct 🤞
Warnings: Minors DNI, language, sexual innuendos LMK if I missed any
Words: 3,000+
So this was always going to have a part 2 but thank you everyone that wanted a part two and loved the fic, thank you! 🥰
”Wanda you look terrible” Nat nudged her friend awake and Wanda groaned “are we finished?”
Nat nodded “lectures been over for about 20 minutes, but we thought you needed a rest”
“Thanks” Wanda muttered placing her head back on the desk and closing her eyes
“How long has Y/n been gone?”
Wanda snapped her head up glaring at her friend “what?”
“How long has she been gone?”
“Like a week?”
Nat laughed “that makes sense, when she’s not here you always look terrible”
“You’re not making me feel better Natty, get to the point please”
Nat kissed her friend on the cheek and stood up “I don’t think you can survive without Y/n, you need her”
Wanda just rolled her eyes eventually standing up and heading for the door with her “I don’t need a woman to look after me, I’m just going through some things, nothing to do with Y/n”
“Sureeee, are you still having that party this weekend?”
Wanda nodded “yep, need a good party to sort myself out”
******************************************************
“Why are you still here Y/n?” Lucifer himself stood next to the bar watching you drink another alcoholic drink…at 10am “how about you mind your fucking business!” You shouted and the man just pinched his nose and scrunched up his face
“Listen you childish bastard of a demon, I’m sorry your precious human thing decided she wanted to end things with you but it’s been a week and you can’t stay here at the club, your smell is scaring the customers”
You threw the bottle on the ground laughing as it shattered and looked back at Lucifer “deal with it bitch”
You continued laughing until an aroma hit all of your senses wrapping around you like a warm blanket, it was familiar but you couldn’t put your finger on it
“Oh princess what happened? Did you spill the drink? You can’t do anything for yourself can you?”
The aroma was coming from the woman dressed in the white pantsuit who approached you from behind and kissed your head “do you need mommy to take care of you?”
You couldn’t blush, but at that moment you definitely blushed “yeah”
Pepper smiled pulling you from your chair and kissing you softly “come on honey let’s go and run you a bath”
“Will you join me?” You whispered, wanting to be close to Pepper for as long as possible
“Of course, poor baby can’t wash herself on her own, she needs lots of help”
She gently took your hand leading you to the penthouse bathroom and turning on the taps “can you undress yourself or do you need help?
“I can do it” you said starting to undress and the woman excused herself running into the devil
“You’re taking advantage of her Pepper” he said sternly and the woman shrugged “oh come on Lucy it’s fine, I miss playing with the demons,
“I’m pretty sure a succubus uses sexual desires to drain humans of their life force for their own, not with demons”
“Pepper?” Your voice echoed through the door and Pepper kissed the devil on the cheek “humans aren’t as fun anymore, but these demon women want to please and obey, that’s what keeps me going these days”
Turning back to the bathroom door , she removed her blazer and stepped in shutting the door behind her “hey honey look at you, all shy and naked for me, does the water feel nice?”
You couldn’t speak, you weren’t even sure you wanted too, just nodding and letting the woman climb in behind you and pulling you close, your whole body relaxed in her hold, turning your head slightly to rest your head on her chest
“So tell me all about your human friend darling, why doesn’t she want you anymore?”
You groaned and tried going underwater but Pepper stopped you gripping your hair and keeping you above the water “don’t be childish Y/n, you’re over 400 years old, be a good girl and tell me what happened”
You nodded and began explaining “basically she’s dating a guy and he’s a douche and bad at sex because she always came to me at night and then when we finished I’d kiss her softly and soothe her bruises and cuddle her into the late morning”
Pepper listened intently “so she doesn’t appreciate you?”
You shook your head no “I’ve done everything for her and this is how she repays me, I just wanted to steal her away from that douche and keep her for myself, is that too much to ask?”
Pepper shook her head “of course not princess, maybe she doesn’t deserve you, you’re a big brave demon who can get any girl she wants, just remember that”
You did remember that, and you’d make sure Wanda remembered that too
Pepper was having her own inner dialogue too, maybe she’d go and see this human of yours, could be fun “are you going to go back anytime?”
“I think so, there’s a party at our place this weekend, even if I’m mad at Wanda parties are fun”
Your mind started to clear of Peppers influence and you groaned trying to leave the bath but was pulled back “I hate when you do this…”
“Don’t you like calling me mommy? I thought it was your favourite word?” Pepper smirked letting you go and grab a towel for yourself “you know I don’t, anyone tricking me, I only like being babied and taken care of on my terms”
Pepper laughed “you want to be babied?”
You stopped and glared at the woman “don’t repeat that to anyone”
Pepper crossed her hand over her heart “scouts honour I won’t repeat anything” she chuckled
“Better not do”
*******************************************************
“This party’s great Wanda! You did a great job!” Tony Stark shouted to the woman already on his 4th drink and Wanda just chuckled “glad you’re having fun Tony” she waved the man off and turned to look for her friend
“Have you seen Nat?” Wanda scooted through the small crowd asking people if they’d seen her friend but no body had until Thor got her attention “I saw Natalia go to the end of the hallway into a room”
“Thanks Thor!” Wanda realised it was your room she went into “why did she go into her room?” She approached the door hearing a few whispers, she made out one voice being Nat but she couldn’t make out the other until
“Oh Natty you’re so pretty”
“Y/n?!” She shouted and slammed the door open revealing you with Nat pressed up against the wall and your lips connected
“What the hell are you doing here?!” You smugly pulled away from the woman kissing her on the nose and facing Wanda “enjoying the party, it is my house too”
Nat sensing some tension pushed past you gently “where you going Nat?” You asked trying to keep her in place “I think you two need to talk” she left the room and you promised to find her later “I’ll come and find you later love”
You chuckled at the blush creeping up on Nat’s neck and turned back to the seething woman
“You can’t fuck my best friend!”
You just laughed “we’re not teenagers Wanda, I can fuck whoever I want”
“Not my best friend! You leave for like a week, no contact and then come back dressed in nothing but a long blazer and try sleeping with Nat! Who do you think you are?”
You looked down at your outfit, you were clearly wearing trousers, you didn’t know what she was on about “you know I’m wearing trousers right?”
Wanda had had enough pushing you into the wall a getting in your face “why?” She whispered but you refused to answer “please Y/n answer me, why did you leave me alone?”
“He’s here isn’t he?”
“Yes”
“Then go back to him Wanda, go back to your boring boyfriend and leave me alone to have fun” trying to leave you found yourself being held by Wanda and kept against your bedroom wall “do you want something Miss Maximoff?”
Wanda stared at you and you could see the fight she was having in her mind and it made you smirk
“Such a bitch” she sighed kissing you suddenly and you responded kissing her back but quickly stopping pushing her away “you’re not getting me back that easily”
“Why do you make everything so complicated?”
You shrugged pushing her and exiting the room looking for Nat “don’t interrupt us again Wanda, I wanna see her tongue piercing in action!” You laughed watching the colour drain from her face
“Don’t hurt her!”
*****************************************************
Lucifer hated it here, oh he loved a party but this one was gross, too many youngish people grinding against or falling against each other and the cheapest alcohol known to man “Pepper why did you drag me here?”
“Y/n spoke highly of this ‘Wanda’ and I want to meet her for myself”
He rolled his eyes “you mean you want to suck her life-force from her and probably wear her skin?”
“If her skin is nice and smooth then maybe I will” she glanced round the room and noticed a woman resembling Wanda from your description “there” she simply said going over to the woman
“You must be Wanda, wow you’re even prettier than Y/n said” Pepper was definitely in front of the right girl, the amount of tension and anger coming off of her felt amazing and she couldn’t wait to get her hands on her
“I’m sorry but who are you?” Wanda was annoyed and didn’t need this, frankly hot, woman here annoying her “I’m Pepper, you seem tense, maybe I could help you relax”
Wanda pushed her hand away that had found it’s way to her waist without her noticing right away “I’m sorry but I don’t know what Y/n has been saying but I’m not interested, plus I have a boyfriend so bye-
Pepper grabbed Wanda holding her tight and close to her “oh precious little human you’re not going anywhere, Y/n has told me just how special you are and I want to find that out for myself”
Wanda tried moving away but her iron grip on her stopped any movement and it scared her “please I don’t know what you are but please let me go”
Pepper just chuckled in Wanda’s ear making the redhead shiver slightly “I’m your new obsession honey that’s who I am”
A wave of something Wanda couldn’t put her finger on came over her, her whole body went limp and she let herself be held up, she could hear and see but could barley move “there you are princess, perfect”
*******************************************************
You didn’t find Nat again in the house but you suspected she was trying to hide from you, what a shame, you really wanted to test her tongue piercing, standing outside you breathed in a huge breath of fresh air “ugh air is still disgusting”
“I think maybe it’s all the weed and nicotine you consume that makes you hate air” Loki appeared out of the trees like the creep he pretended to be “do you actually live in a house or do you just live in the trees?”
“You’ve seen my house”
You nodded “yep and I stand by what I said, you’d be better living in the trees than that dump of a house anyway, do you have any weed?”
The man shook his head no and you sighed disappointingly “then what good are you?”
The door next to you both slammed open giving you both a freight as two women exited the house, you were surprised to see Wanda and….Pepper? Oh no
“Y/n? What a nice surprise, you were right, Wanda here is a beautiful woman and she’s very excited to show me everything she knows”
You pushed away from the wall and smiled at the succubus “get away from her Pepper”
“Why should I?”
Your looked over Wanda, she was practically unconscious minis a few groans indicating she was still awake “because she looks dead, come on just go and find a human inside and leave this one alone”
Lucifer suddenly appeared before you both and you groaned “fuck me why are you here too?”
Lucifer held his hands up in defence “I didn’t want to be here but Pepper wanted to come and find your human”
You were quick to correct him “she’s not my human anymore I don’t care about her anymore…but just let her go Pepper she’s of no use to you”
“No use? She’s filled with tension and delicious delicious arousal, her thoughts are plagued with images of you doing sinful things, she’s perfect for me to feed from”
Images of you? She was thinking about you? No push that out of your mind you don’t want her anymore, right?
You snapped out of your thoughts and looked back at Pepper, knowing how she worked it was going to be difficult to get Wanda away from her “so she’s thinking of me?”
The succubus smiled “so many thoughts, come on princess how about we both have fun with her? She’s so wavy right now, just how demons like their victims”
You bit your lip and looked away from the woman to Loki who just shrugged “your choice but I’ve dealt with Pepper too and she truly takes everything from you”
Turning back to Pepper you walked towards her and places your arm around Wanda holding her up with Pepper “let’s go back to the club it’s got all those fancy toys I know you like”
Pepper kissed you hard and you reciprocated eagerly momentarily forgetting about your nearly unconscious roommate who you fell out with last week “such a pretty little demon you are, how about you show your full form Hm?” Pepper whispered she pulled away but you shook your head
“That form is for my enemies only Pepper you know that, I would never subject Wanda to that, just come on let’s go, get this over and done with”
****************************************************
Wanda didn’t think she was dreaming but her wavy feelings made her think she was, she felt herself be sat down on a soft mattress and her eyes opened properly to see you fussing with something and you noticed her more awake stance
“Don’t scream and don’t move a damn muscle okay Wanda? I’m trying to save you here because if I don’t then you’ll be succubus food and trust me it’s not pleasant”
Wanda gave a gentle nod laying back into the mattress closing her eyes and hearing another woman come into the room “is she ready Y/n?”
“No she’s knocked out Pepper, it’ll be wrong to do anything with her now”
The woman groaned and rolled her eyes “you’ve gone soft, but fine we can have fun with her tomorrow, I did have a small fill from a human at the party.
Pepper kissed you softly and turned to Wanda kissing her head “see you tomorrow sweet girl”
Pepper left the room and it was silent for a few minutes, Wanda finally waking up properly and sitting up on the bed looking at you “Y/n, thanks I-I thank-
“Don’t start Wanda, I’ll get you out of here take you home then leave you alone”
You refused to look at Wanda as you went around the room picking up Wanda’s shoes that Pepper had taken off
“Don’t leave me…” she whispered and you stopped in your tracks “I’m not, I’m taking you back to the house”
“Please move back in, I’ll break up with Vision I miss you so much” her voice broke your none existent heart, you chanced a look at her face now stained with fresh tears and you felt awful
“Wanda we’re not talking about it now, I’m just going to get you out of here that’s it”
Wanda wiped her face from tears realising they weren’t going to make you stay, she remained quiet when you took her away from the club and she remained quiet all the way home, the only time you spoke to her was when you arrived outside the house and noticed the party still happening
“Fucks sake don’t these humans ever go home?”
You started the car again heading off down the street and Wanda looked over at you “I’m not leaving you here with a bunch of alcoholics”
“Where are we going?” She whispered “Loki’s place, he’s not in I think he wants to sleep under the stars or some shit, we can stay there”
“You’re staying too?”
“Obviously I’m not leaving you alone tonight, you were nearly seduced by a succubus, even I’m not immune to her charms so I’m surprised you’re still standing”
Wanda giggled “a powerful demon like you seduced easily? That’s funny”
You rolled your eyes but let out a little laugh “yeah well, despite her being a soul sucking bitch she’s very hot”
You both laughed erasing any tension that was left in the car, the silent drive was no longer awkward so Wanda took a chance “do you still like me?”
The car stopped outside Lokis house and you looked over to Wanda “Wanda…Wanda I love you, unfortunately that douche bag got to you first, I have loved you ever since I came up to earth and saw you wondering around the college library, ever since you accepted me as your roommate and even when you found out I was demon and you weren’t scared and it made my nonexistent heart sore”
You both had gotten so close that you could smell her intoxicating scent “kiss me Y/n” Wanda didn’t wait for an answer leaning foreword kissing you, it was soft, the softest kiss you’d both shared in a while, it didn’t last long but you both felt every emotion put into it
“You need to recover Wanda let’s go inside” leaving the car quickly your opened Wanda’s door for her and helped her out of the car holding her around the waist keeping her body close to your own “join me in bed?”
You shook your head “no, but I’ll stay by your side all night keeping you safe”
“And in the morning?”
Kissing her cheek you kept your lips close to her ear “then you go back to boyfriend and I go back to the club”
Wanda but her lip holding back some tears and nodded “o-okay”
“Good night Wanda”
“Good night Y/n
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marvel-lous-guy · 7 months
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Pepper: remember that meeting starts in 3 hours tony, so you better be back
Tony: No.
Pepper: Tony. You will be present at this meeting.
Tony: I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid this meeting.
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lilylovelyxo · 1 year
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*Arguing heard in Avengers Tower*
Bruce: (gasps) “Uh-oh.”
Steve: “Ouch…”
Pepper: “Oh, god.”
Dad Tony: “Don’t you talk to me that way, Miss Smart Mouth! You just bought yourself a ticket to your room.”
Y/N: “Oh, fine. Best money I ever spent! You can’t ruin anything in there.”
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incorrectwandanat · 3 months
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peter, in tears: i saw you with natasha yesterday, holding hands.
reader: it's not what it looks like-
peter: YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER!
reader: BECAUSE I'M DATING HER!
peter: no best-friend-feelings?
reader: no, just love love. like i’m married to her type of love.
peter: ok...i’m still your best friend?
reader: yeah, course.
peter and reader hugging:
natasha, pepper, wanda and maria watching from the kitchen: what the-
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ir0npvrker · 8 months
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rhodey: i remember sending tony an email that started off with “i hope this email finds you well” and this man responded with “this email finds me hungover”
pepper: *disappointed sigh*
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romanoffshouse · 11 months
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Natasha: How dumb does Pepper think you are?
Tony: Sometimes she leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 4 months
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Pepper: I want to hear those three little words.
Tony: I love you.
Pepper: That’s sweet, but try again.
Tony: Fine. I will behave.
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ironrad · 1 year
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Clint who just learned a new game from his kids:
Clint: Alright guys we’re all going to pass the phone around and say who we’d warn someone about before coming to the Avengers compound
Clint: I’ll start. Personally, I would warn people about Tony because I never know what he’s up to in that lab…
Nat: What are we doing? Oh ok, I’d warn people about Peter. He acts innocent, but I see right through it…
Tony: You want my honest answer? Steve. Next question-
Steve: Um maybe all of us because we have powers and can be dangerous when crossed.
Steve: That wasn’t the question? Ok, fine, I’d warn them about Queens. He scares me sometimes…
Bucky whispering: …Peter.
Sam: Why did you whisper that?
Bucky: He’s always listening.
Sam: Yikes, anyways, I’m gonna go with Bucky.
Bucky: Hey-
Bruce: Hi! I’m Bruce Banner, and I think I would warn people about Peter and Tony. Alone they’re both trouble, and together they’re a train wreck, but the good kind. Hang on-
Peter: Oh EZ, I’ve seen this on Tik Tok. Mr. Stark, no questions asked. That guy is everywhere all the time. I can’t get shit-
Steve: Language.
Peter: Sorry! I can’t get anything over on him.
Happy: Peter and Tony.
Thor: Ah, yes, hello. I would warn them of ME.
Thor spinning his hammer and chugging a keg:
Stephen: Tony. I try to avoid him at all costs.
Pepper: Awe thank you for including me. I’d warn them of my husband and his teenager…sometimes I need an extra warning.
The Avengers watching back the footage:
Tony: I’ve done nothing but be a pleasant member of this team.
Peter: Yeah, sounds about right.
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