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#incorrect npl quotes
imdefyingmavity · 9 months
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NPL Michael and Eleanor: *at couple's therapy*
Michael: We've...had some issues. Apparently relationships have their difficulties.
Eleanor: There was some bloodshed.
Michael: She tried to kill me. With much stabbing!
Eleanor: He sent me off to be tortured. With much torturing!
Michael: We're trying to move forward.
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cecret-with-a-c · 2 years
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Post Far From Home NPL Eleanor: So there are multiple universes where we made different choices.
Michael: Yep.
Eleanor: You think there's one where I'm the demon and you're human? Or where we're both humans and we met on Earth?
Michael: Honestly, I don't know if that's possible.
Eleanor: I guess it would've been forking boring to just hang out on Earth, though, without any magic or afterlife-fixing to do.
Michael: Maybe. But in another universe, I'm sure I would be happy to just do laundry and taxes with you.
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imdefyingmavity · 1 year
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NPL Michael: Man, you are the worst person to sleep in bed with, you're always kicking me, you snore all the time, you hog the covers!
Eleanor: Okay, then get your own bed.
Michael: Well I mean...let's not do anything extreme.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Eleanor: I love my demon boyfriend but sometimes he gives me the creepiest pet names.
-cut to them in bed-
Michael, stroking Eleanor's arm, whispering: Hmm...Mortal.
Eleanor: Stop that!
-cut to them in the kitchen-
Michael, hugging her from behind: Ah...Human.
Eleanor: I will stab you again!
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Eleanor: You told me everything in this house is mine. That includes your clothes, right? So don't ask me why I have your shirt on, it's OUR shirt!
Michael: Okay, fine, but I don't wanna hear a peep when I'm strutting about in your leggins later.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Eleanor: I'm a firm believer that relationships should be 50/50.
Eleanor: Michael cooks dinner and I sit on the counter looking hot.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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Tahani: So I'm guessing Eleanor is the little spoon.
NPL Eleanor: Wrong. We're both chopsticks.
Tahani: Oh....I don't get it?
Michael: It means that if you take one of us away, the other is only good for stabbing things.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Michael: What do you wanna do tonight?
Eleanor: World domination.
Michael: Bit too ambitious. How do even plan on getting to your world-?
Eleanor, pinning him down: You're right here, dummy.
Michael: *simps*
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Eleanor: You know what they say about love and war.
NPL Michael: Yeah, one involves a lot of physical and psychological agony and the other is war.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Michael: *plays guitar*
Michael: What do you think?
Eleanor: Uhh...Great?
Michael: Don't patronise me. I can always tell when you're faking.
Michael: "Mmm, Michael, that's soo good!"
Michael: That's right, I know you hated my stew!
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imdefyingmavity · 9 months
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NPL Eleanor: Look, to sum up, we don't wanna hurt each other, so let's just have this be a happy ever after with a lotta shrimp dancing and sex.
Michael: What the fork is shrimp dancing?!
Eleanor: Ha, I trapped you into asking. It's a kinda ritual dance where there's an orgy at the beach, during which shrimp crash down from giant waves. I figure you owe me that much.
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cecret-with-a-c · 3 years
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Eleanor: You said churro dogs were disgusting and now you want to share one with me?
Michael: Uh, yeah, I’m going to insult something and then try it. Because I’m a good friend.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Eleanor: You're gonna ace this ethics exam!
Michael: You think that because you love me and love has made you dumb!
Eleanor: No, love has made me smart! Remember last week when I boiled that egg?
Michael: That was big, I was so proud of you.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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Michael, during an attack from Trevor: He's too strong. I might not be able to protect you.
Eleanor: You think I need you to protect me?!
Michael: Now's not the time for the girl power bit!
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imdefyingmavity · 3 years
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NPL Michael: What would you like for breakfast?
Eleanor: Can you make me those pancakes that have abs?
Michael:
Michael: Do...do you mean waffles?
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imdefyingmavity · 2 years
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NPL Michael: Babe, when I asked for a little spoon, I meant cutlery.
Eleanor, hugging him from behind: Oh...
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