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#incorrect norse mythology
godsofhumanity · 7 months
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Odin: There’s a thin line between being a genius and being a fucking idiot. Frigg: Loki uses that line as a skipping rope.
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mytholots · 4 months
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Ares: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Tyr: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Athena: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Neit: What was the color called before then?
Bellona: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!
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mythos-soup · 2 months
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Loki: *running into the room* Sigyn just said she doesn't love me anymore!
Odin: What?!
Sigyn: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across yggdrasil just so you can punch Baldr in the face.
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ghostwithwings · 5 months
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When you read about Hermod the Norse Messenger, loyal to Odin, knowing about Hermes the Greek Messenger, loyal to Zeus, and suddenly you realize the same motherf*cker (affectionately 😊) worked for two Gods and fooled them all the time.
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salvepersone · 4 months
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maddness-and-myths · 1 year
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Cop: sit on that chair, this is an interrogation
Sigyn, whispering: deny everything
Loki confidently: that isn’t a chair
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lokeanheart · 8 months
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Loki: imma be real with you guys!
Something that just don’t sit right with me is the word “authority” for some reason it has Thors name in it
And I don’t like that very fuckin much .
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paradisechid800 · 8 months
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Aphrodite: Wait, so you are a goddess of love and beauty too. Freya: Yeah, I am also a goddess of fertility. Aphrodite: Me too! Freya: Uh, I'm also the Goddess of sex. Aphrodite: Me too! Freya: ... Freya: I'm also the Goddess of War. Aphrodite: ... Aphrodite: *Pulls out Spear* ME TOO!!!
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mytho-nerd · 8 months
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Loki: would I lie to you?
Thor: yes.
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sillymanwithocs · 1 year
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Odin: If anyone, and I mean ANYONE, says anything... I'm feeding you to the world snake
Everyone:
Loki: *holding a radio*
Odin: Don't fucking do it
Loki: Good luck feeding me to my own child, bitch
Loki: *Presses play*
Radio: 🎶Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus-🎶
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h0bg0blin-meat · 7 months
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Loki: Don’t preach to me about romance, Sif. I had a three-way in a space shuttle.
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godsofhumanity · 2 months
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Loki: Why is helping someone bury a body the standard for true friendship? Odin: It's just a saying that you're in it together no matter what. Loki: I'm all for that. I'll hide evidence, bribe people, lie to whoever I need to but I am not digging a hole in the ground. Odin: Why is that the one you won't do? Loki: Too much work. Sounds exhausting.
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mytholots · 4 months
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Apollo: If I fall…
Surya: I’ll be there to catch you.
Lugh: *looks at Sol* What if I fall?
Sol: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.
Huitzilopochtli: *watches these two interactions*
Huitzilopochtli, to Ra: And if I fall?
Ra: I’ll be the one who pushed you.
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mythos-soup · 6 months
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Loki: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Sygn: AS ENEMIES?!
Loki: ...
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themidgardwyrdo · 1 year
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Odin: "Do You really need all those cats?"
Freya: "Yes."
Odin: "Can't You put them somewhere else?"
Freya:
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salvepersone · 9 months
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Loki: on a scale of 1 to 10, how annoyed with me are you right now?
Odin: 8
Loki: i can do better than that
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