Rita: I’ll have a double pumpkin syrup double chocolate syrup three pumps of your special limited edition chrunchie syrup 13 splendas 4 sugars with extra whipped cream! Oo oo and put some of that fancy raw sugar on top of the whip cream, for CRUNCH!
Juno: I’ll have an americano, black.
Barista: That’ll be 14 creds.
Juno: Go ahead and put it on your comms
Rita: Ya know my comms is linked to your card right?
Juno: I thought Buddy gave you her card for “team building purchases”
Rita: She gave me YOUR card for team building purchases
Juno: …I’ll pay
Rita: You already did!
~Later, after they get their coffee~
Juno: This coffee is weak.
Rita: You can have some of mine if you want Mistah
Juno: *eyeing the inexplicably neon concoction Rita is gleefully gulping down*
Juno: I think I’m good, thanks.
(Authors note: Juno has no idea that an americano is just watered down espresso. He is upset about his coffee every time he buys it or asks for it, and has simply come to the conclusion that no one knows how to make coffee right. Rita has suggested that he doesn’t like americanos before but was met with much opposition. She now brews an espresso whenever he asks for an americano.) (He started ordering americanos because someone told him they had more caffeine - probably Puck Falco, back when they worked at the HCPD)
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Season 2 Juno: I will live and I will love but by God I will not laugh
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Juno: *bleeding out* blood loss? No i didn’t loose it, I know exactly where the blood is
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Jet: Drive it like you stole it. But you stole it because you loved it and you would not like to see it damaged. Basically, drive carefully.
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*onboard the Carte Blanche*
Juno: Uhhhhh……Buddy? What’re you wearing?
Buddy: My emotions darling, stress couture—
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engstrom: i’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...
juno, nodding: knife monopoly.
engstrom: I was actually going to play rangian street poker, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife monopoly is
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Juno: Why are we telling Engstrom we're married?
Nureyev: We need the coordinates to get onto the Utgard Express.
Juno: You mean we're scamming him?
Nureyev: I was thinking more of just flat-out stealing from him?
Juno: What? No way!
Nureyev: Why ever not? We already stole the Ruby Seven.
Ruby: Beep-boop! (Hey guys!)
Juno: No, we didn't. The Ruby's a talking car, it can do whatever it wants.
Ruby: Whee bee boop boop! (I wanna steal!)
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Rita: here’s a password cracker
Juno, faux shocked: Rita! Isn’t that illegal ?
Rita, absolutely done: shut the fuck up and do your job
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Juno: Meh we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it
Buddy: you mean cross darling
Juno: meh we’ll figure that out later
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juno: penny for your thoughts?
nureyev *visibly offended (bc drama queen)*: my thoughts are worth more than a penny!!
ALSO
nureyev: penny for your thoughts?
juno *hand outstretched*: pay up bitch.
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nureyev: what are you doing, juno?
juno: your mom
nureyev:
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Juno: Rita, what's 14 + 9
Rita: 126 'Mista Steel
Juno: *Counting on his fingers* That can't be right
Rita: Yes it is, 14 times 10 is 140 minus 14 is 126
Juno: No, I said plus, not times.
Rita: Oh that's 23.
Juno: *Buffering* Wait did you just do three-digit multiplication in your head in seconds?
Rita: Yeah it's easy! You just gotta swirl the numbers around and then it's the answer!
@penumbrapodcastincorrectquotes
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TPP incorrect quotes
Juno: I'm at the store, do you want orange juice or apple juice?
Peter: I'll file that under "for future consideration"
Juno:
Peter:
Juno:
Peter:
Juno: IM AT THE STORE !!
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Aurinko crime family as text posts
Juno:
Nureyev/Ransom:
Rita:
Vespa:
Buddy:
Jet:
The ruby 7:
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Ruby 7: *a series of whistles varying in tone and pitch*
Juno: What Ruby said- get in, loser. We're committing vehicular manslaughter.
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(Earlier seasons/pre-canon)
Juno: please let the rest of my New Years Day be quiet ……… okay, I guess I can go home now—
Mick: oH! HEY THERE JJ!!!
Juno: —see there is no God.
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