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#incorrect iron man quotes
spideyspetertingle · 1 year
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Peter: Mr. Stark!! Did you know that mochi is called that because of the word “Mochila” in Spanish meaning backpack? It’s like an ice cream backpack! Tony: ...I don’t believe you, but I don’t know enough to prove you wrong.  
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Tony: I hate to say it, but you're pulling a Tony
Peter: Posting Steve's credit card number on Twitter because he said you looked tired?
Tony:
Tony: Oh, right, I forgot I did that
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bitchy-marvel-dude · 2 years
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Tony: Are you crying?
Harley, sniffling: No, it’s just an allergic reaction.
Tony: An allergic reaction to what?
Harley, sobbing, making grabby hands at Tony: LIFE!
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Tony: That guy lied :/
Howard: …that man tried to kidnap you and that’s what you’re worried about?
Tony: He said he had candy!
Howard: Anthony Edward you are eighteen years old!
Tony: Exactly so I’m old enough to decide if I want van candy or not!
Steve: 👀👀
Bucky: *who was the one who punched the guy in the van and took Tony back* 🙄😒
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lazy-cat-corner · 2 years
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romanoffshouse · 5 months
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[Natasha speaking Russian]
Y/N, sighing: Yeah, I know.
Tony: You speak Russian?
Y/N: No. I just know the phrase, "This is all your fault"
Y/N: She says it a lot.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Tony: I'm a Stark, flirting is part of my heritage.
Clint: What does that mean?
Natasha: His father was a slut too.
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incorrectmarvelquote · 3 months
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Peter: Sometimes Tony asks me “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Peter: I’ve learned that that actually means ‘stop’
Peter: He is never very interested in my thought process
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rxmqnova · 1 month
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Tony: So, are you two dating now?
Y/N & Natasha: Yes.
Tony: Why?
Y/N: I happen to find Natasha very appealing.
Tony: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Natasha.
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oscorp-lawsuit · 11 months
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Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad
Peter: “Hey, dad?”
Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-
Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”
Peter:
Peter, tearing up: “Um-”
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spideyspetertingle · 1 year
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Peter: Mr. Stark... I think I'm sick. Stark: Not again.. when's the last time you went outside?
Peter: ... Stark: ...When's the last time you drank some water?
Peter: ... Stark: Kid?? When's the last time you slept at least eight hours...?
Peter: ... Novembruary 32nd. Stark: How. How are you alive?
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Tony: What’s the one thing I asked you not to do?
Peter: Set the house on fire
Tony: and what did you do?
Peter: I made dinner!
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hurtspideyparker · 23 days
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Peter, sneaking in through the lab window after patrolling till 3 am on a school night, running into Tony still working on a project 4 hours after he told Pepper he'd come to bed in 'five minutes':
Tony: I won't tell May if you don't tell Pepper
Peter: Deal... can I help?
Tony: You have school in 4 hours.
Peter: You didn't even go to bed last night!
Tony: ... okay but you're on fire extinguisher duty
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bitchy-marvel-dude · 2 years
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Loki: Your ancestors would find you incomprehensible and your descendants will despise your grave.
Tony: This is by far the best compliment I’ve ever received.
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nam-ski · 1 month
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Tony: Peter, why are there so many spiders in your room? Just because you’re part spider it doesn’t mean you don’t have to clean your room, I’m going to kill them.
Peter: No, these are my children!
Tony: Like…literally?
Peter: Adopted! I saved them from a burning building last week and know they’re mine.
Tony: Last week, wasn’t that the time you laid in the Med-Bay with second degree burns and a smoke poisoning, because you wouldn’t leave a burning building for reason you wouldn’t tell me?
Peter: Uh, I’ve gotta go
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