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#incorrect hobbit
incorrect-lotr-trash · an hour ago
Bilbo, walking in the room: Hey Frodo, whats the routine for today? Frodo: well usually I wake up and I suffer Bilbo: Bilbo: Do you, uh, want to talk about it? Frodo: nope Bilbo: oh valar, Thorin, he’s turning into you
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satoichi · 6 hours ago
Kili: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Fili: Not if they consent to it.
Thorin: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Bilbo: YES?!?
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elvish-sky · 8 hours ago
Aragorn: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything?
Merry: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Legolas: That wasn’t an ambulance. I drove you.
Merry: But I heard a siren.
Aragorn: That was Boromir.
Boromir: I was WORRIED.
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entishramblings · 8 hours ago
Merry: where are you going?
Pippin: to get mushrooms or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there.
Merry: well why not both at the same time?
Pippin: now that is why we are friends!
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entishramblings · 8 hours ago
Legolas: Hey Aragorn!
Aragorn: Yes?
Legolas: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Aragorn: ...
Aragorn: Where’s Gimli?!
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ragsweas · 14 hours ago
Text has good Modern AU prompts for Bagginshield? I am thinking of collecting them all and start posting them on this blog (or maybe a separate new blog purely for Bagginshield and/or Hobbit prompts)
(Also I wanna write Modern AU which do not make me cry plis)
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meteors-lotr · 16 hours ago
Bard: Why are there small hand prints on the walls?
Thranduil, whispering to Tilda: Why are there small hand prints on the walls?
Tilda: Because I have small hands!
Thranduil: Because she has small hands.
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Barliman Butterbur: Okay, guys, who wanted the macaroni and bees?
The Hobbits: ...
Sam: mean cheese?
Barliman Butterbur, struggling to keep the bowl covered: That does make more sense, actually.
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 17 hours ago
Boromir: We should appreciate the small things in life. Boromir: *picks up Merry* Boromir: You are appreciated. Merry: Put me down or I will kill you
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Sam: I put a wee note in your bag to tell you that I love you
Frodo: Sam, this is a ten page letter
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entishramblings · a day ago
Pippin: hmm this chicken is good!
Pippin: so is the broth!
Pippin: what do you know about necromancy?
Gandalf, spitting his soup: WHAT?!
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elvish-sky · a day ago
Arwen: When you said ‘magical in bed, this isn’t exactly what I was expe-
Aragorn: *holds up 8 of hearts* Is this your card?
Arwen, softly: Holy shit.
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entishramblings · a day ago
Gimli: Have you ever heard of the word ‘sorry’?
Legolas: No, is that another word you made up?
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puppetmaster13u · a day ago
Mumbo: I wanna talk to you about something.
Grian, nervously: You didn’t go into my room, did you?
Mumbo: No…
Grian: Ok…
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meteors-lotr · a day ago
Tilda: What are you talking about? I'm like the backbone of this family!
Sigrid: You're like the appendix of this family. No one knows what you're here for.
Legolas: Also prone to explode at any given moment.
Tilda: Fuck you guys
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