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#incorrect game of thrones
sasha-naell · 5 months
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Ned : It's really funny, becoming a parent makes you say phrases you would never imagined. For example “stop eating the wall” or “don’t throw food at your brother”
Robert : “stop trying to kill cats”
Ned : What ?
Robert : What ?
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outlawarya · 6 months
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Rickon: *sends a super low-quality meme to the group chat*
Arya: if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image, i’d have 15 cents
Rickon: if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after i read this text, i would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Sansa: Actually I did the math, Arya would have $225, not $0.15
Robb: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Theon: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Robb: Sorry I only have a dollar
Theon: :(
Bran: hey I just realized sansa is wrong, arya would have $22'500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Robb: If I had $22'500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Rickon: you can buy anything you want with $22'500
Arya: yeah and he wants soda and apply juice
Jon: Apply juice to what
Theon: directly to the forehead
Sansa: Great chat everyone
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inncorrect-starklings · 7 months
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Rickon: What does MILF mean anyway?
Lady Stoneheart: …
Lady Stoneheart: Mother is living forever
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shining-m00nlight · 1 year
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Ned: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Sansa: 'Prettiest Smile'
Robb: 'Nicest Personality'
Theon: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Jon: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
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gendrya-fanpage · 2 years
Conversation
Hot pie: Hey, Gendry? Can I get some dating advice?
Gendry: Just because I’m with Arya doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
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randomcontent2019 · 8 months
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Jon: Wanna hear a joke?
Robb: No
Jon: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Robb *sighs*: Why?
Jon: To get to the idiots house. Knock Knock.
Robb: Who’s there?
Jon: The chicken.
Robb:
Jon:
Robb: I won’t punch you in the face on one condition.
Jon: …yeah?
Robb: Go tell that joke to Theon.
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Somewhere in the afterlife:
Robb: You were married to Tywin Lannister the most ruthless man in Westeros!?
Joanna: He wasn’t the most ruthless man in Westeros when I was married to him!
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istaricelebelasse · 1 year
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Theon: I have never done anything wrong ever in my life
Robb: I know this and I love you
Sansa: I know this and I love you
Jon: … so are we just forgetting about the whole taking Winterfell and pretending to murder Bran and Rickon by actually murdering two children?
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incorrect-got · 2 years
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Viserys: The Small Council has given Daemon two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So as a disciplinary measure, he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Daemon, have you prepared your statement of regret?
Daemon: I have.
Viserys: Let’s hear it.
Daemon: [unfolds a piece of paper and reads from it] I state my regret.
Rhaenyra: You couldn’t have memorised that?
Daemon: I could not because I do not feel it.
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Robert: it’s so hot out
Ned: yes, but why are you unbuttoning MY shirt?
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the-knight-of-kisses · 5 months
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Jon, studying for an exam with Robb and Theon: Robb: Fuck, it's morning already! What are we going to do? Jon: Well, maybe we could start with calming down. Robb: Calm down? We're still on Aegon the Conquerer! We haven't so much looked at the Shivers! Jon: You've got the gist. They got the shivers. Theon: Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings. Jon, getting stressed: And whose fault's that? If you lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you Ironborn prick!
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sasha-naell · 4 months
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Catelyn : So there are these two guys who are in love with me. There is one that my little sister is in love with, and the other I prefer his brother. So my crush has like 200 crushes (no seriously this guy is attracted to everyone) and he has a best friend who is like simp a little for my crush's sister. Except that my crush's sister really likes the little cousin of my crush's best friend, and it's mutual. Except that the little cousin of my crush's best friend is already married to a girl and this girl has a crush on the little brother of my crush's best friend and her best friend has a crush on my crush. So it obviously becomes a little complicated.
Brynden : Yeah I understand.
Hoster : HOW ??
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outlawarya · 3 months
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Gendry: so when are you going out with me?
Arya: i don't know, gendry, when are you asking me?
Gendry: hm
later
Hot Pie: SO YOU JUST RAN AWAY??!?!
Gendry: I DIDN'T EXPECT HER TO FLIRT BACK!!!!
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Tommen: {About Cersei} It's like she gets off on being withholding.
Joffrey: Whoa, Tommen!
Myrcella: Look who's ragging on the old lady!
Tommen: “I’m Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.”
Tommen: Because I'm an uptight {bleep} {bleep} {bleep} {bleep} {bleep} {bleep}, Tommen {bleep} {bleep} {bleep} you old horny slut!
Myrcella: {stunned} Nobody's going to top
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shining-m00nlight · 1 month
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Some time ago in the Vale:
Ned: Well, who cuts people's hair in the middle of the night?
Robert: I do! They call me the Midnight Barber.
Ned: Yeah, well that's an infringement of people's liberties. So don't ever be doing that to me.
Robert: I DO do it to you.
Ned: ...what?
Robert: Who d'you think cuts your hair, Maester?
Ned: My hair just doesn't grow very fast
Robert: What, you think it stays that length naturally? I'm in there in the night, styling away.
Ned: How dare you do that to me in the night, when I'm oblivious.
Robert: I do my best work when you're oblivious. I lean you up against the pillow, and I go at you.
Ned: That's perverted!
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mutedmya · 1 year
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Ramsay: I dislike your last name.
Theon: huh? Like yours is any better.
Ramsay: yes, actually.
Ramsay: I think it suits you.
Theon: eh?
*Ramsay walking away*
Theon: H-Hey wait! What are you suggesting?!
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