#incorrect formula 1
Dan: I would never say that Max is a bitch and I don’t like him. That’s not true… Max is a bitch and I like him so much!
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Niki: Welcome back to 'reasons my toddlers have been crying'.
Niki: Yesterday was an especially strange day.
Niki: First reason: Patrick didn't like the fact that my hair isn't green...
Niki: James left for work in the morning, but that wasn't the bad thing. Keke decided that the bad thing was that James was wearing shoes. I didn't realize this was inapropriate work attire.
Niki: Riccardo wanted oatmeal, so I gave him oatmeal; and that was upsetting because he asked for oatmeal but he wanted carrots. It's a common mistake.
Niki: I told René not to lick James' budgies. Bacteria is not a negative term in his vocabulary yet.
Niki: Couldn't bring the playground home with us. Like, the whole playground. Didn't fit in the trunk. And Jean had a whole ass meltdown because of it.
Niki: And Nelson got upset that the police car we saw on the way back didn't pull me over... And you knwo what? I was okay with that one.
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Jacques: Here's another joke for you that no one has ever heard because I just made it up.
Jacques turns to Niki: What did the male dinosaur say to the female dinosaur?
Niki sighs: … what?
Jacques: Damn Jur-ass-sic!
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Elio: Can I bring a date?
Everybody: *starts cursing *
Ayrton: Three years standing and you're gonna break the pact? Does the 'no date pact' mean nothing to you?!
Elio: No, no. No no no. No!
Elio: Yeah, could I just...
Everyone: *cursing *
Ayrton shruggs: Yeah, cause I already asked Alain.
Jean and Gerhard start cursing.
Riccardo: Come on, this was a pact. This was YOUR pact!
Ayrton: I snapped okay. I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped!
Gerhard: But Alain? That was, like, the worst break up of the decade.
Ayrton: I'm not saying it was a good idea, I snapped.
Niki suddenly pokes his head into the room and stares at everybody.
Since he does that about once a day everybody kinda wants to know why. And Riccardo's gotta ask.
Riccardo: Mom, I gotta ask: Why are you always randomly poking your head into our room when we aren't even being loud.
Niki: Oh, that's the whole thing. You know, It was quiet in the house when Gilles shaved the dog. It was quiet in the house and Alain taped Ayrton to a wall. It was quiet in the house when Nigel poured glue all over himself.
Niki: So, yall are literally not to be trusted.
Niki: Every time there was quiet in the house you guys did some fucked shit.
Niki: This is my default setting now. This is how you've conditioned me!
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Nigelio and Launt being all couply and cute.
Nelson crashing in: Oi guys, you're all in love? You think you're all so cool with your fucking love? I'm fucking single, and alone and dead inside, get fucked. All four of you!
Elio starts laughing, while Niki stares at Nelson concerned.
Nelson: How far away is bosnia? HOW FAR AWAY IS BOSNIA!
Keke: Do you want something to drink?
Nelson: No thanks. *mumbles * I don't even wanna be here.
Keke: I got wine.
Nelson: Oh, count me in.
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Max: Dan! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.
Dan: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.
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Lance: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
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Max: Charles, I too have a gift, okay? Tonight, until the stroke of midnight, I will not make fun of you in any way at all, no matter what.
Charles: That is so sweet. And my gift to you is a cray-cray night of funky fun!
Max: I fear I've already made the biggest mistake of my life.
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Organisators: *splitting up Lance and Esteban*
Lance: You can’t split us up.
Organisator: Lance you’re on this truck and Esteban is on the other and that’s that.
Lance: But- but he’s my emotional support animal.
Esteban: Woof woof?
Organisator: Yeah I bet that is just as cute on the other truck.
Esteban: *leaves with a sad face*
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Dan: Max, we all know you're in love with him.
Max: I am not in love with Lance!!
Dan, smirking: When did I ever say Lance?
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Lance: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Seb: Never seen one.
Lance: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
Seb: What can’t I see?
Lance: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
Seb: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
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Seb: So, Mick?
Lewis: What about him?
Seb [shrugging casually]: Oh nothing. Just making sure we understand each other. Charles for me. Pierre for you. Mick for me, George for you. Right?
Lewis [grinning]: I will take your kid, Seb.
Seb: Don't you dare.
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Lewis [bursting into the garage]: Valtteri!! There you are. Let's go.
Valtteri [confused]: Where?
Lewis: Fernando is making barbecue.
Valtteri [getting to his feet]:.....Where?
Lewis [shrugging]: In the middle of the track.
Valtteri: Do I even want to know why?
Lewis: Probably not. Now let's go I'm hungry.
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Charles: Would you take a bullet for me?
*Seb angrily burst into the room*
Charles: *running away* Great, thanks!
Pierre: CHARLES NO! COME BACK HERE NOW!
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Lance: And what do I get out of this?
Max: I will give you a dollar.
Lance:: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Max: How bout two dollars?
Lance: You got yourself a deal.
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Dan: And now for a gay update with Seb and Lewis.
Seb: Getting gayer.
Dan: Thank you, Seb.
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Max: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Seb’*
Lance: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*
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Lewis: What are you doing?
Valtteri [sitting in the corner of the garage with his head between his knees]: I'm sulking....with dignity.
Lewis: May I join you?
Lewis [sitting down]: Today sucked.
Lewis: Wanna go play with Roscoe?
Valtteri [lips quirking up just the tiniest bit]: Sure.
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