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#incorrect far cry 5
mrspaigeomegaa day ago
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Kate loves Pop Punk music!!!
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Kate (driving; blasting American Idiot by Green Day): *singing loudly* Welcome to a new kind of tension. All across the alien nation, where everything isn't meant to be okay
John *sitting in the passenger seat; silently cause Kate told him driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole*
Kate *singing loudly*: Television dreams of tomorrow, we're not the ones who're meant to follow. For that's enough to argue *drumming fingers on steering wheel*
John *looks over at her; also trying to restrain himself from singing and head bobbling*: Do we have to listen to this??
Kate drumming fingers on steering wheel*: YES! *singing* Well maybe I'm the-
John *changes radio station; Oh John starts playing*
Kate *slowly turns her head towards him*: How dare you!!!!
John: I don't like that part (cuz Billie Joe says faggot)
Kate: Oh! So you have heard that song before!?! That song came out in the mid 2000s. When you were probably in high school!
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mrspaigeomega3 days ago
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*toddler Cristina dancing happily and carelessly to Mr. Blue Sky while peggies attack their home*
Paige (mom voice): Cri!, get outta the way you're gonna get hurt!!
Cristina: *waves at her adorably*
Paige (calm tone): Hi *goes back to killing peggies*
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Cristina*puts something inedible in her mouth*
Kenneth (0.01 seconds later; pausing in the middle of a battle; military dad voice): No, no, Spit it out! Spit it out! Come on!
Cristina *spits out whatever it was*
Kenneth (look of disgust) : Disgusting *goes back to killing peggies*
Cristina *continues dancing*
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*Judge eats her snacks*
Cristina *does a baby Groot like growl; jumps on Judge's back; attacking it*
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Cristina *gets up, and continues dancing as if she didn't get taken for a ride on a wolf's back around the property, attacking it, and being thrown off of it; as explosions and gun fire goes off*
Random peggie: *gets thrown onto the Bluetooth speaker; stopping the music, and destroying it*
Cristina *baby Groot like growl; hits them with a stick*
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mrspaigeomega3 days ago
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Deputy: John later on tonight you're gonna be laying in your bed, there's gonna be something squishy in your pillowcase, and you're gonna be like "Whats this?" and it's gonna be because I PUT A TURD IN THERE!
John: You put your turd in my bed, I skin you
Deputy: Oh it won't be my turd. It'll be Jacob's!
Jacob (laughs loudly): I have famously huge turds
Joseph: We're about to die, and this is what we're discussing?!?
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mrspaigeomega6 days ago
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Deputy: *swipes card* You seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called *yelling* "Mysteries of the Female Orgasm"!
John: No I don't!
Deputy: Yeah you do
John: And grab the movie!
*Faith grabs the dvd; while John pushes a stack of books. Both of them run away. Pushing over a cart of books*
John: Punk-ass book jockey!
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mrspaigeomega6 days ago
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I was originally gonna put Deputy, but I wanted to change it up (again), and also this seems like a conversation Jacob and Paige would have. In an AU where he's her godfather. But also feel free to insert Dep, or your own OC as you read.
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Jacob Seed: Paige!
*Paige enters room*
Jacob: Listen I was trying to buy this hand crafted mahogany wood model of a b-52 mitchell Panchito aircraft
Paige: Aw for John?
Jacob: Don't sass me, and I went to this website and this ad popped up that said "Hey Jacob Seed check out this great offer".
Paige: Whats your question?
Jacob: My question is what the hell?!?.
Paige: Like how do they know who you are??
Jacob: Yeah
Paige: Okay, um, there are these things called cookies where like if you go to a site, and buy something it'll remember you and then create ads for other stuff you might want to buy.
Jacob: So it learns information about me. Seems like an invasion of privacy.
Paige: Dude if you think thats bad, go to Google Earth and type in your address.
Jacob: *types in home address*
A few moments later
*Jacob throws computer in a dumpster*
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mrspaigeomega6 days ago
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Faith: Hi Faith Seed from the Project at Ede-Ah!
*sees a raccoon approaching her*
Faith: No! No! *runs back inside church*
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mrspaigeomega7 days ago
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No one:
Literally no one:
My somewhat drunk ass *singing while playing FC5*: Tip toe from the garden, by the garden of a willow tree, and tip toe through the bliss with me. *high pitched earpiercing high note*
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snake-in-the-garden10 days ago
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Kim: I told Nick his ears flush when he lies.
Ramona: Why?
Kim: Look.
Kim: Hey Nick! Do you love us?
Nick, covering his ears: No.
Ramona:
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queen-of-nightmare-1614 days ago
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Incorrect Quotes. Far Cry 5
John - 鈥淵ou. Me. Beautiful baby. Now鈥
Deputy - 鈥淵ou? Me? Fat chance鈥 *walks away*
John - 鈥淚鈥檝e got a chance! *turns to Joseph* AND IT鈥橲 FAT!鈥
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mrspaigeomega14 days ago
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Jacob: Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffelbag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
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mrspaigeomega14 days ago
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Deputy: So yesterday Joseph found half a joint in the parking lot, which is unfortunate because as it turns out Joseph finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.
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mrspaigeomega15 days ago
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I felt like I was going insane because I couldn't find the exit with all the damn peggies trying to kill me!!!!! 馃槀馃槀馃槀
Buzzfeed Unsolved episode: Old City Jail
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mrspaigeomega19 days ago
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Culling the Herd but instead of "Only You", Jacob Seed uses "Nobody but Me" by the Human Beinz.
Those who have seen The Office (or know the mucis) will know 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃槄馃槄
Now I'm imagining everyone from FC5 doing the Lip Dub 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ. Faith in rollerskates would be freaking adorable!!! Jacob having Dwight energy and I'm not drunk again, only buzzing 馃槄馃槄馃槄.
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mrspaigeomega20 days ago
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I think we can all agree this is something that John "I'm so damn extra and dramatic" Seed would do. 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
Note: I was originally gonna put Deputy instead of Kate, but I wanted to change it up a bit, but feel free to insert Dep (or your own OC) as you read.
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*Kate driving down the road*
John Seed (speeds up next to her; with a bullhorn): Pull over!
Kate: John?? *lowers window*
John(through bullhorn): Move to the side of the road!
Kate: Why?!?
John: Pull over! *speeds up*
Kate: What are you- John!
*cuts her off*
Kate (gets out of car angrily): John, what the f**k is your problem?!?!
John(through bullhorn): Shut up woman! Listen to me!
Kate(yelling): Who drives like that?!?!
John(through bullhorn): I love you! And I don't care if Daenerys is not my daughter. I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers if it means I can be with you!.
Kate: Can you put that down?!
John(through bullhorn): This expresses how loudly I love you!
Kate: It's too loud
*Gets down on one knee, holding a ring*
John: This is a ring taken from the buttocks of my grandmother, put by there by the Gangster Patriarch of the Coors dynasty melted in a foundry run by mennonites.
Kate: Okay, Yes. Yes, I will!
*They kiss on the side of the road*
Kate: I love you!
John: I love you!
Kate: And I lied to you.
John: What?!?
Kate: Daenerys' is your daughter
John(confused): What? Why would you say that?
Kate: I just needed you to want marry me because you wanted to marry me!
John(excitedly): Get out! I'm a dad!
Kate: You're a dad!
*They kiss again; happiness shit*
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rejected-beater21 days ago
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Broken: Trust me, have I ever put you in an unsafe situation?
Rai: All the time...
Broken: Then you should be used to it.
Broken is the cult version of Joshua Harris @jollybone their OC
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mrspaigeomega24 days ago
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Deputy: I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the church. I saved John's life with a can of pepper spray I keep velcroed under my desk. People say "oh it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace". Well I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.
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