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#incorrect devil may cry quotes
incorrectnerov-quotes · 7 months
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Saint Paddy's day Party
Nero: Why not just use food coloring for the beer? Dante: Uh. Cause Beer's not a food. When was the last time you ate a beer? Nero: When was the last time you drank paint? Dante, stays quiet: Nero: Have you been drinking paint? Dante:..No. Nero: Let me see your tongue. Dante:*slowly shows green tongue* Nero: OH MY GOD!
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vngful · 9 months
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zzdinde · 7 months
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liquidcatt · 2 months
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When it's your first time
Him: Don't worry…I'll be gentle. You: DON'T BE!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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indycaelumskywalker · 4 months
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Y/n: Looks like we can't mansplain or manipulate ourselves out of this situation?
Dante: How about malewife'ing?
Vergil: Manslaughter it is.
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icycoldninja · 4 months
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Dmc incorrect quotes
Nero, tearing up the room: Where are they? Nero, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Nero: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.
Dante: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.
V: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Nero: Because your toast would get soggy!
V: Let’s not Dante this into a worse situation than it already is. Dante: Did you just use my name as a verb?
Dante: Can you pass the salt? V: Can you pass away? Dante: Too much salt.
V: I drink to forget but I always remember. Nero: You're drinking orange juice.
Dante: I got an idea! V: Does it involve breaking the law? Dante: By now don’t you think that’s a given? V: I was just trying to be optimistic. Dante: Don’t bother.
Dante: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch". Nero: I see you're passing on your name.
Nero: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. V: Wasn’t Dante with you? Dante: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Nero, Vergil, and Dante are playing poker. Dante is winning by a long shot. Nero: Aw, come on. Vergil: It’s not fair! He doesn't even know what we’re playing! Dante: Go Fish?
Nero, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Dante: grabs and chugs the entire bottle Dante: Dante: It's perfume.
Dante: What is wrong with you? Vergil: Many, many things… Vergil: And most of them are your fucking fault.
Dante: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass. Nero: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL! Dante: …Your point?
Nero: I can be your partner for the next race. Vergil: Sorry, Nero. It's a sibling race. Dante: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Vergil: It's only children, Dante. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!
Dante: They called me the B-word. Vergil: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.
Nero: If you’re going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it. Vergil: There is an alternative, then. Nero: Out with it. Vergil: You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there.
Vergil: If there’s one thing I learned from Dante, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.
Nero, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Vergil, standing in front of Nero: bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen Nero, crying: Please…stop…
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nico-drives-badly · 3 months
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Nero: I need coffee.
V: I need a nap.
Dante: I need a vacation.
Vergil: I need duct tape, a rope, and a shovel.
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helloimevgayniy · 1 year
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Y/N: Dante, help me, I promised Vergil that i'll cook dinner, but I don't know how!
Dante,pouring milk into a bowl with cereal,while eating pizza : and you think i can help you with this?
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hecate-valentine · 1 year
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This is a chronic illness
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incorrectnerov-quotes · 9 months
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Nero: I mean why else would she be acting like such a B-I-T-C-H Vergil: Nero, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out Dante: A bitca? Vergil:....Yes
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micha-writes-things · 2 years
Conversation
Chatting With Vergil pt 4
Vergil: Y/N where have you been? It's been weeks, months since we have seen you!
Y/N: *standing inside the DMC* *soaked in water, seaweed, has a pirate's hat* You have been missing from Nero's life for the last twenty years...how dare you question me?
Vergil: Touche.
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dmz96 · 2 months
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❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
Vergil is asleep.
You: He looks so peaceful right now.
Dante uncapping a marker: And vulnerable.
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
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vngful · 9 months
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zzdinde · 8 months
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spardawritings · 1 year
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If Dante helped Vergil choose a new name:
Vergil: Gilver will do just fine.
Dante: What about Ligver? It sounds cooler and almost sounds like Ligma.
Vergil: Ligma? What is Ligma?
Dante: Ligma bal-
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andromedaesresolve · 1 year
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Nero, drunk: *points at Kyrie* that's my girlfriend, fuckers!!!!
Nico: that's your wife
Nero: my wife!!!! Even better!!!!
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