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emilyshotchrocket · 1 year

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Hotch: Just let me go in. I’ll talk to him without my gun and I’ll come out fine.

Morgan: Hotch I don’t think that’s a great idea man.

Rossi: I’ll have to ask your mother first.

Hotch:

Rossi pulls out an ouija board

JJ: Have you had that with you the whole trip?-

Rossi: Is Aaron allowed to almost get himself killed?

Gideon: N-O

Rossi: sorry kid. Your mom said no.

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sunshinesvr · 1 year

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criminal minds incorrect quotes

Penelope: Pressing snooze so many times that they throw me in jail

Rossi: Everyday at work I redefine the bare minimum

Reid: You know whats crazy that's not illegal? you can buy 6 gerbils from petsmart and start grilling them in the parking lot

Emily: I hate being gay I can't even say a normal sentence like "i'm hungry" its always some bullshit like "eating would be a slay right now"

Reid: Everyone knows i'm the smartest one here

Derek: Oh yeah then who has the right of way at a 4 way stop

Reid:

Emily: The strongest.

Derek: Bro... the ramifications....

Emily: I forgot about the rammys bro

Reid: Self undiagnosing. I'm fine.

[JJ and Will texting]

Will: i dont know if anything else happens

Will 🥺

JJ: you're a grown man don't send me that emoji

Will: Ok sorry

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91-1lover · 9 months

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Derek:You're annoying Reid

Someone:Yeah! Shut up nerd

Derek: Fuck you just said??? 🔪

Emily:🔪

Hotch: 🔪

Garcia: 🔪

JJ:🔪

Rest of the BAU: 🔪🔪🔪

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icouldbeaduck · 2 years

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emily: nothing bad ever happens to me, i have a crystal in my pocket at all times

morgan: you died a year ago

emily: and yet, here i stand

#criminal minds #incorrect criminal minds #emily prentiss #incorrect emily prentiss #derek morgan #incorrect derek morgan #source: brooklyn 99

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canon-but-like-gayer · 2 years

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HEY EVERYONE!

I’m back! I plan on giving an explanation and a life update to explain why I was gone so long later today, but for now let’s just say it was crisis after crisis.

I’ve missed this part of my life dearly, and I’m so glad to be back! Lots of love, your favourite gay, Charlie!

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whoisspence · 3 months

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kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #incorrect criminal minds quotes #criminal minds fandom #whoisspence

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patrickispinky · 6 months

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Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

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spencestiel-michelle · 7 days

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*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing.

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen.

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever.

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n.

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starch1ldz · 1 month

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Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.

Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating

The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.

Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.

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ralvezfanatic · 3 months

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Y/N: I need someone to take me out already

Derek: Like on a date or with a sniper?

Y/N: Either works but at this point I rather a sniper

Hotch: Do I need to have you evaluated?

Elle, texting Penelope to ask how much a hitman costs:

Spencer, texting Penelope to ask her for tips on how to ask you out:

Penelope, very confused at the two types of text she got: ???

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emilyshotchrocket · 1 year

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Will: Jennifer- Come on! Talk to me please!

JJ: I can’t even look at you right now!

*in another room*

Emily: what?

Derek: nothing- nothing!

Emily: JJ said everything was okay?

Penelope: what are they talking about?

JJ: just get away from me!

Will: it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?

JJ: A mistake? What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!

Penelope: Whe-Where did he put it??

JJ: Will. You had sex with another woman.

Penelope: *gasp*

Emily: oh my god.

Penelope: ugh. I knew something had to be wrong because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.

Aaron: yeah- Well- I guess they had a fight and he got drunk-

Emily: *gasp and smacks both Morgan and Hotch on the heads* you guys knew about this and didn’t tell us?!

Morgan: he had sex and we get hit in our heads?!

JJ opening the door: Y’know what. I want you to leave. Get outta here. Just Get out. Now!

Will: no. No I want to stay. I want to talk about this.

JJ: okay. Alright. How was she?

Morgan: uh oh.

Note that by now, they all have an ear against the door and Emily is on Hotch’s back.

Will: wh-what??

JJ: was she good?

Aaron: don’t answer that!

JJ: come on Will! You said you wanted to talk about it, let’s talk about it! How was she?!

Will: she was..

Morgan: awful. Horrible! Nothing compared to you!

Aaron at the same time: she was not good. Not good. Not good!

Will: she- she was different!

Morgan: ouuwwh.

Aaron: uh oh.

JJ: good different?

Will: Nobody likes change? I-

JJ then goes on to attack him with a magazine.

Penelope: should we do something??

Aaron: yeah, Never cheat on JJ.

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sunshinesvr · 11 months

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Criminal minds incorrect quotes pt. 2

Spencer: Hey, want some trail mix?

Penelope: (glaring) you mean M&Ms with obstacles

Emily: Putting soup in a square container... it's just not right. it should be a circle one which is the shape of soup...

Hotch: are you.. okay?

JJ on twitter: I'm just a small butterfly, why are you being mean to me? :(

Reid on twitter: piece of pie (7 minutes later) pie round 2

Emily: what do you guys put on first when getting dressed?

Luke: My shirt

Tara: ok winnie the pooh

Reid: I'm phobic

Reid: Just scared.

Penelope: (sends photo of tire pressure light) What does this mean D:

Derek: Don't worry about it babe

Penelope: Okay ❤️

Penelope: Yay ❤️

[Over text:]

JJ: Dude

Reid: I'm busy right now

Reid: I ate glass on accident

JJ: you what?

Reid: Please leave me alone

Reid: i ate glass

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demonicbaby666 · 9 months

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Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!

#criminal minds incorrect quotes #criminal minds incorrect #incorrect criminal minds quotes #criminal minds #Emily Prentiss #Spencer Reid #Derek Morgan #Aaron Hotchner #the bau team #cm

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icouldbeaduck · 2 years

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Emily: there’s a phrase on here in ancient greek

Derek: what does it say?

Emily: i dunno, it’s in ancient greek

#criminal minds #incorrect criminal minds #emily prentiss #incorrect emily prentiss #derek morgan #incorrect derek morgan #source: bones

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blackhillfilmss · 1 year

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Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Emily: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Penelope: Socks are Feetie Heaties

JJ: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Spencer: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Derek: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Y/N: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Hotch: *annoyed* You’re all disappointments

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amybaulover · 5 months

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Hotch: Why is Emily curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing?

Reid: She’s drunk.

Hotch: And?

Derek: And she heard that JJ is married.

Hotch: ...

Hotch: We’re literally at their wedding reception right now.

Penelope, sighing: We know.

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