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gothamundernightlight · 2 days

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Harley trying to cheer up Robin

Harley: Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.

Harley: You come from a strong line of lunatics!

Damian: *thinking of his family history, from both sides

Damian: That is actually quite reassuring???

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headcanonthings · 2 days

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Bruce: You have exactly three seconds to explain why you just woke me up. Clark: Because it’s morning and you should be awake. Bruce: Oh… Interesting… I didn’t know you wanted to die today! Clark: Bruce, you can’t kill me. Bruce, pulling out kryptonite: It’s too late, I’ve already decided how.

#incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect superman quotes #incorrect superbat quotes #dcu #bruce wayne #batman #clark kent #kal el #superman #superbat

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason (Age 12): I’m not gonna die from inhaling cigarette smoke, quit worrying, B.

Jason (Age 15): *dies from smoke inhalation*

Jason (Age 19): Well, it wasn’t the cigarettes.

#i find it darkly funny that people probably told Jason smoking would kill him #and then he died from smoke inhalation #irony i guess?#incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc comics #dc #dcu #jason todd #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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91-1lover · 1 month

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 1 month

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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sodamnbored · 18 days

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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn’t realise you were here too.

Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?

Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.

Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.

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cardinalcheerio · 2 months

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I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.

So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.

They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.

And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"

From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that

1. Bruce funds the Bats

2. They take it from him

3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.

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dickgraysonmybeloved · 3 months

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Jason, eating cereal: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Tim, who walked out of his bedroom in his house into his kitchen: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

#jason todd #tim drake #dc #dc comics #dcu #dc universe #incorrect quote gen #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect batman quotes

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ryemiffie · 26 days

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More stuff from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Batman: I would never betray you!

Red hood, pointing at Tim: Then what's that?!

Tim: ...

Batman: A complication.

Red hood: A complication?! It's a child!

Batman: Well I see that!

Tim, talking to Jason: Oh you don't have to be offended, he doesn't know how I got here.

Red hood:

Batman: I don't!

Tim:

Red hood:

Batman: It's actually kinda unsettling, how did you get here?

Tim: I followed the voices.

Batman: Oh, I didn't realise we were being that loud.

Tim: No no, not your voices, the voices.

Red hood:

Batman:

Red hood: should we be worried or-

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arguablysomaya · 4 months

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failed step one

#batfam #dc universe #dcu #batman #batfamily #jason todd #batfam memes #DC comics #dc #DC Universe #incorrect dcu #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #1k #5k

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 5 months

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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

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headcanonthings · 8 months

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Tim: You know archaic Latin? Jason: I got bored with classical Latin. Tim: You know normal Latin? Jason: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me. Tim: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB? Jason: You don't know everything about me Replacement. Now do you want a sweater or a scarf?

#jason basically just asking tim to pick back up his stalking hobbie #incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dcu #batman #batfamily #tim drake #red robin dc #jason todd #red hood

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multifandom-disaster · 7 months

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In Jason I'm gonna be civil with my brother days

Jason Todd: *calls Dick Grayson* Hey, are you busy right now?

Dick Grayson: A little bit. Why?

Jason Todd: Oh, no worries. Nothing important.

*5 hours later*

Dick Grayson: You were in jail?! Why didn't you say anything?!

Jason Todd: You were busy!

Tim ver.

#incorrect quotes #batkids #batboys #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #jason todd #dick grayson #dick & jason #batbros #source: tumblr #not a prompt

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

#batman #incorrect batman quotes #dc comics #dc #dcu #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #barbara gordon #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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91-1lover · 1 month

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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*

Meanwhile

Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 2 months

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Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

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