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#inaccurate quotes
talkfantasytome · a day ago
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Helion visiting the Night Court, staying at the House of Wind, noticing Nesta and Cassian about to get down:
Helion: You guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? Me?
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nochubtch · 2 days ago
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Loki, looks at Y/N: did you kick my brother in the loins lady Y/N?
Y/N: i beg your pardon?
Y/N: i consider myself as a very intelligent person Loki, i don’t just go around hurting people—
Y/N: —and i’d just like to remind you that matter is made out of atoms.
Y/N: we and everything else is made out of atoms, and atoms don’t touch.
Loki: alright..?
Y/N: but to answer your question; no i didn’t kick Thor where the sun don’t shine.
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elvish-sky · 2 days ago
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Pippin: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
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Gandalf: *secretly collecting all the balrog XP to level up*
Boromir: *dies*
Frodo & Sam: *sharing in a coming of age buddy film plot*
Merry & Pippin: *kidnapped by orcs*
Legolas, Aragorn & Gimli: let’s go hunt some orcs :)
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elvish-sky · 3 days ago
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Aragorn: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
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nochubtch · 3 days ago
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Tony: so explain to me what happened.
Peter: Y/N punched me in the face!
Y/N: bitch no i didn’t!
Steve, from another room: LANGUAGE!
Y/N: anyways so... i tried the whip and he was in my way!
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nochubtch · 3 days ago
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Y/N: it’s a beautiful day outside—
Loki: not as beautiful as me.
Y/N: bitch i swear to god
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nochubtch · 3 days ago
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Y/N: Loki there’s a spider!
Loki: so what do you want me to do?!
Y/N: kill it!
Loki: you saw it, you kill it!
Y/N: umm you’re the man of the house?!
Loki, turns into Lady Loki: BITCH SINCE WHEN?!
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nochubtch · 4 days ago
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Y/N, sees Loki in pain: what’s wrong with you?
Loki: my side’s hurting. *motions to his side*
Y/N: alright let me see... you might feel a little pain. *touches his side*
Loki: Okay… ow!
Y/N: you’re adopted.
Loki:
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nochubtch · 4 days ago
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Steve: hey Y/N how old are you?
Y/N: uh it’s 2021 right?
Steve: yes.
Y/N: alright... wait, hold on. *starts counting using their hands*
Y/N: (your age)
Steve: did you just have to calculate your age??
Y/N: well i didn’t know i’d make it this far!
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