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#inaccurate lord of the rings
tatersgonnatate · 2 years
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Happy 100th birthday to the late and great Sir Christopher Lee
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elvish-sky · 2 years
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Legolas : I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Aragorn: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Legolas: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
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ironmandeficiency · 9 months
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bilbo: i have the highest standards
thorin: what’s the spanish word for “tortilla”?
bilbo, ripping his clothes off: you absolute dumbass
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radjerda · 8 months
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Some portraits of some fancy elves from Gondolin
Ecthelion and Glorfindel deserved some more elaborate designs than my usual, and how can I draw one without the other?
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vildo · 1 year
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Gimli Gimli Gimli a man after midnight
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forestials · 1 year
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Hello,
would you ever be in the mood to draw Aragorn and Arwen as king and queen of Gondor and Arnor?
You rock!
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they got a happy ending and it was so deserved
thank you so much!
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galadrielspeaks · 2 years
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legolas is such an important character to me because of how at a surface level when you first watch the movies you see him as this aloof mystical tactical elf-prince but then when you really start getting into his lore you realise he’s essentially just some homeschooled kid from the middle of nowhere who applied to a huge university in the big city to get away from home and is genuinely baffled at everything he sees and people assume his confusion is him being mysterious when in reality half the time he’s just trying to process what the hell is going on
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hwestalas · 8 days
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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT
Guess what happened today?
My favorite couple in the Tolkien legendarium met for the first time!
They're the only couple I can think of, real or fictional, who met through a complain about accommodations, and love that so much.
Side note: How do I know this was March 20, 3019, even though it wasn't listed in the Timeline in Appendix B?
Well, according to the second paragraph of LOTR Book Six, chapter V "The Steward and the King," they met "When the captains were but two days gone," and according to the aforementioned timeline, the captains (leading "The Host of the West") left on March 18. This would mean that Eowyn probably demanded to see the Steward two days later, March 20.
Unless, of course, the captains had been gone two full days (March 19-20), plus the latter part of the 18th and the beginning of the 21st, putting their first meeting on March 21.
There is one other piece of evidence for placing this date: the Fall of Sauron, March 25 (see timeline). Eowyn and Faramir watch this, according to "The Steward and the King," on "the fifth day [...] since the Lady Eowyn went first to Faramir." Now the question is, does "the fifth day since" mean "the fifth day after" March 20 or "the fifth day including" March 21? I.e., supposing it was March 20, would the first day since then be March 20 (does not add up with the timeline) or March 21?
In the end, I decided that "the fifth day after" and "two days overall" made more sense than "the fifth day including" and "two full days plus some," bringing me to the conclusion that this wonderful event occurred on March 20, so I should post about it today. :)
Hurrah for hope, joy, "pity that is the gift of a kindly heart," and good friendship whether or not it turns into romance!!
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wine4thewin · 2 years
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In other news, definitely wondering who Celebrimbor’s ill-advised bff is going to be played by. Can’t wait for Galadriel to be like, “look, your boyfriend is evil, I can smell it” and Celebrimbor will be like, “bUt hE heLpS maKe CoOl RiNgS, plz bE rEaSonabLe…”
Also, Celeborn, where is that lad?
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liefst · 2 years
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tatersgonnatate · 2 years
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elvish-sky · 2 years
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Fili: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Kili: Not if they consent to it.
Thorin: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Bilbo: YES?!?
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ironmandeficiency · 9 months
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pippin: i have a confession. i’m terrified of the backstreet boys
merry: tell me why
pippin: *screams*
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claymoresword · 1 year
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The Realm's Delight
Rhaenyra Targaryen x Velaryon Fem!Reader
Summary: The entire realm of suitors tripping over themselves to take Rhaenyra to wife and yet the only person she has eyes for is you.
Pairing: Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader
Wordcount: 1k
Warnings: smut, nsfw, top!rhaenyra
Note: first and foremost reader and rhaenyra are cousins clearly so if that bothers u maybe skip this one :/
been putting off writing rhaenyra for so long bc her characterisation is a little intimidating to me but i got over that fear finally (i think)
anyway i hope u enjoy this silly little thing and let me know what u think!
(sorry for the inaccurate high valyrian i dont speak the language)
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You let out a yawn, the sheer banality of this morning's affair was shocking to you.
At Rhaenyra's request you were sat by her side as she listened to petitions from various Lords from all over the realm offering her their hand in marriage.
You scowl at the man before you, he had been going on about the state of his castle. Nothing of interest to you and certainly not to the Princess. If this was his idea of wooing a lady only the gods knew how he would be like as a husband.
"Bisa vala iksis uēpkta than aōha kepa."
(This man is older than your father.)
Rhaenyra's face contorts in amusement at your remark before looking down at her hands, fiddling with her rings out of disinterest.
"Tell me, lord Dondarrion did you think my great grandmother was as beautiful as they say?"
The Princess interupts the man mid sentence and you shake your head in disapproval.
Rhaenyra..
"This was half a century ago Princess" Lord Dondarrion responds, perplexed.
"Yes it was."
The entire court erupts with laughter, you stiffle a grin yourself.
The older man sulks before walking away, being last to catch on the Princess making a mockery of him.
"Bona iksin unseemly, dārilaros."
(That was unseemly, princess.)
Rhaenyra glances at you with a sly smirk before rolling her eyes.
"Issa unseemly syt zirȳla naejot jiōragon nyke zȳhon ondos."
(It is unseemly for him to offer me his hand.)
Boremund glares at the two of you. You throw him an innocent smile, very well knowing he has no notion of what is being said between you.
"Next!" He exclaims.
You were itching for these proceedings to conclude.
A young boy, he must have been no older than 10 and 2. You recognised his sigil, house Blackwood.
You fail to suppress your amusement paired with disbelief, an involuntarily laugh escapes your lips.
Rhaenyra mirrors your baffled expression.
"And now a boy." The Princess says with an exasperated tone.
"The Blackwoods are an ancient house with a formidable army. In the riverlands they once ruled as Kings." Lord Boremund states.
Rhaenyra nods, she decides to give the poor boy a chance.
He goes on and recites a rather well rehearsed speech. Voice trembling but otherwise full of conviction.
A rictus, albeit kind smile painted on Rhaenyra's face.
She is not convinced.
"If chosen as your match Princess, your days shall be easy and night's safe under my protection."
The boy says and you purse your lips, trying not to laugh aloud once again.
"Protection? The Princess has a dragon you dumb cunt."
One of Rhaenyra's many suitors exclaims from the crowd and the boy unsheathes his sword, summoning a challenge.
You roll your eyes. Whether it be a man grown or a little boy, they are all the same.
"We're leaving." Rhaenyra stands, swiftly grabbing your hand. Taking your leave by her side and matching her strut.
"Ser Criston, send word to the harbor and have Captain Oswin ready the ship for you."
"Lady y/n and I will leave on Dragonback. We will see you back at King's Landing."
Criston glances at you in confusion and you only give him a shrug.
"Princess, we're due in Bitterbridge in 3 days time."
Rhaenyra stops in her tracks, You, Criston and his men followed suit. The Princess glares at the Knight and he opposes for a moment before relenting.
"Very well, Princess."
--
Rhaenyra grabs your arm again forcing you to pick up the pace. You eventually find yourselves alone in a dimly lit hallway far from the commotion in the other room.
"Nyra–" You yelp, as she expertly pushes you up against a wall her hand resting against it.
She leans in capturing your lips into a searing kiss. You melt at the feeling of her mouth against yours, simply aching for her.
Rhaenyra's hands find your waist as she disconnects your lips. You nearly shiver under her intense stare. She watches your chest heave as you attempted to catch your breath. You notice her breathing just as heavily.
"I have been dying to do that all morning."
She kisses you again, this time your hand finds the back of her neck pulling her impossibly closer.
"Istin emagon ao sir."
(I must have you now)
Rhaenyra shifts her attention to your neck, placing wet kisses against it. You don't suppress the shiver this time and immediately feel her grin form against your neck.
"Ēdā nyke mōrī bantis."
(You had me last night.)
You tease, hand moving to rest on her shoulder.
"One night is not enough" She whispers before taking your bottom lip in between her teeth tugging at it. She kisses you again.
"With you it is never enough."
Your mouth opens wider and her tongue comes into contact with yours. A moan spills out of you directly into her mouth and Rhaenyra hums against your lips.
A rush of arousal shoots directly to your core. Rhaenyra would have her way with you infront of the entire court if she could.
Gods, you wish she would.
Rhaenyra lifts up your thigh and runs her hand under your dress resting it on your ass. You wrap your leg around her waist reflexively giving her easier access. A glimmer in her eyes as she takes the opportunity to slip her hand underneath your smallclothes, she could feel how wet you were as she swipes a finger through your folds.
"Rhaenyra, what if someone sees us?" You whimper as you fight the urge to grind your wanting core against her hand.
She leans forward, placing another kiss on your neck before sinking her teeth into it earning a desperate moan from you.
"I really don't care." She whispers and you feel your legs grow weaker.
Rhaenyra presses her palm against your center and you feel yourself move against her hand wantonly. She dips a finger into your entrance and you let out another moan.
"Ah– Rhaenyra, wait please."
You wanted to kick yourself for stopping her but you couldn't risk getting caught, not here.
Rhaenyra sighs before removing her hand from underneath your dress completely and you stand up on both feet. Your hands don't leave her shoulders however, needing the support.
"Issa daor litse."
(It is not fair)
You breathe out, after a moment's silence.
"Hm?"
"Lo nyke sia vala nyke could gūrogon ao naejot Zaldrīzesdōron se mazverdagon ao ñuha ābrazȳrys."
(If I were a man I could take you to Dragonstone and make you my wife.)
"Nobody would question it."
You suddenly feel tears well up in your eyes. Rhaenyra notices and places a tender kiss on your forehead. You quickly wrap your arms around her.
The both of you stay like that for a beat.
"Then take me to Dragonstone." Rhaenyra simply states.
You scoff.
"Do not mock me, Princess."
Rhaenyra lets out a chuckle before stepping away from you, intertwining your fingers.
"No, it isn't fair."
She lifts your intertwined hands to her lips and plants a kiss on the back of your palm.
She guides you down the hallway and the two of you resume your walk.
"Ivestragī's jikagon lenton."
(Let's go home)
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vildo · 1 year
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Boromir: we're so lucky Legolas isn't one of them elves that sings nonstop
Aragorn: dude you toot your own horn
Boromir: DO NOT give him any ideas
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fictionadventurer · 1 year
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I've seen Eowyn and Faramir's love story classified as an example of Pair the Spares, and that's totally inaccurate. Eowyn and Faramir are the love story of The Lord of the Rings. Arwen and Aragorn don't count--they're only in the appendix! Eowyn and Faramir's story emerges from and completely ties into the main narrative. In only ten pages, it manages to be one of the greatest love stories of all time.
Eowyn starts out actively suicidal and he makes her want to live again! He falls in love pretty much at first sight. She begs him to let her go to battle, and he's just like, "I'm stuck here, too. We'll have to make the best of it together," and asks her to help him recover. He tells her about his recurring dream, and he's surprised that he said it, so you know it's a big deal that he told her about it. He tells her that being with her makes him believe that no darkness can endure, then the exact moment after he kisses her brow, the Dark Lord is defeated! She stays in the city despite herself, even when she's given leave to go to battle! He's so gentle and understanding, but her pride makes her resent his pity until she learns that being loved in her weakness is not shameful but a beautiful gift. He makes speeches about how much he loves her and begs her to return his love! They kiss upon the wall in the sight of many, and he claims the shieldmaiden of the North despite the differences in their cultures!
In loving Aragorn, Eowyn wanted glory and renown and to be elevated above the drudgery of daily life into the realm of legend, but in loving Faramir, she wants that daily life, wants to exist here, now, with him, finding joy and peace and honor in the ordinary tasks of life in the ordinary moments of the day. It's a beautiful character arc and a beautiful love story and I'm going crazy over it.
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