Boromir: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.
Aragorn: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.
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Pippin: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Merry.
Pippin: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.
Pippin: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
Merry: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.
Pippin: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.
Merry: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.
Pippin: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.
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Legolas: Did Aragorn just tell me he loved me for the first time?
Boromir: Yeah, he did.
Legolas: And did I just do finger guns back?
Boromir: Yeah, you did.
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Boromir: You really believe in Legolas?
Aragorn: Luckily, he believes in himself enough for the both of us.
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Legolas: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.
Aragorn: Being a fish.
Legolas: Well, shit.
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Boromir : What are you writing?
Legolas: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.
Aragorn, looking over Legolas's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.
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Aragorn: Are you ever going to listen to me?
Legolas: Yes. Absolutely.
Legolas: When you're right.
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Merry: I dare you-
Boromir: Pippin is not allowed to accept dares anymore.
Merry: Why not?
Pippin: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.
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*Merry is telling a story*
Pippin: Wow, Merry, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!
Pippin: I have a crush on him.
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Aragorn: *holding a pot of coffee and a bowl of cereal* what if, instead of putting milk in my cereal I put coffee in
Boromir: *walks past him and takes away the coffee pot* What if you didn’t
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Boromir: So, what’s it like living with Legolas?
Aragorn: Once, I asked him for water when he was pissed at me, and he brought me a glass full of ice and told me to wait.
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Boromir: Name a way to be nice to others.
Legolas: Don’t kill them!
Boromir: Setting the bar a little low there, Legolas, but I’ll allow it.
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Aragorn: *falls down the stairs*
Legolas: *catches him* I think you just
Legolas: Fell for me
Aragorn: Put me down
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Aragorn: We’ve got to find a way to cut back. What can we live without?
Legolas: Probably Gimli.
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Pippin: *texting Merry* I heard Aragorn say he was going to Dairy Queen so I snuck into his car and he has no idea I’m here.
Pippin: He asked Boromir what he wanted and I popped up from the floor and said, ‘I was thinking about a milkshake.’
Pippin: I have never heard two men scream louder.
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Legolas: Are you taken?
Aragorn: Yeah, FOR GRANTED
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Aragorn: You took advice from Pippin?
Gandalf: It’s called hitting rock bottom, Aragorn.
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Gimli: You’re pretty dumb.
Gimli: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.
Legolas: All I heard was “You’re pretty.” I’m focusing on the positives in life.
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Aragorn: I’m well aware that I’ve accidentally set myself on fire and it’s none of your buisness. I don’t need your pity water, either. Let me burn in peace.
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Aragorn: I am not lying on the floor physically, but I am lying on the floor spiritually.
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