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#in unrelated news i might have to change the chapter count again LOL
marriedzukka · 3 years
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there is absolutely no way this chapter isn't getting split up. i need to be sedated
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shadowed-dancer · 3 years
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My Thoughts on the New MHA Opening and Ending
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I have thoughts, and I will share them because oh boy if I don’t get this out I’m gonna explode
Vague Spoilers for the manga (up to chapter 258 and vigilantes) because I discuss the upcoming arcs, but I don’t discuss any major plot points in detail. Still, proceed with caution if you’re anime only
Keep in mind, this OP and ED will cover the Endeavour Agency Arc and the MVA Arc, so I will be judging them accordingly.
First, the OP
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This is a good OP... in theory (that’s going to become my catchphrase for this post). It’s nice to look at and flows pretty well, but my biggest problem is that it doesn’t do it’s job. An OP is supposed to be a sort of... summary (?) of the Cour it plays for. That means any cool plot points, emotional beats, and important characters should be featured in some way, shape, or form. We’ll talk about that more later, but first let’s discuss the music.
The song is really good. I have a feeling it will continue to grow on me as I listen to it more often, but yeah my first impression is that the song sounds great. My only complaint about the music itself is that it ends kind of abruptly (I noticed this is the JT opening too). The previous openings used to have a bit of instrumental to “play us out” and lead us to the end card, but this one feels like it ends very suddenly and unnaturally.
As for the visuals...
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Yeah alright I’ll admit, the visuals are stunning... in theory. I appreciate the variety in backgrounds and colours, it makes the OP really interesting to look at. This was actually one of my biggest problems with the JT Opening, it all took place on the training grounds, so there was no variety (everything was metal tubes with a blue sky, with only 3 shots set somewhere different). I appreciate the style of this OP.
But like I said, that’s only in theory, as in, through screenshots these are all pleasing to look at. The pacing of this OP is wild, and I truly don’t know who to blame for this.
That sunset shot above? It lasts approximately 12 seconds, zooming in every few to make it seem like something is happening (when in reality it’s still the same poses, angles, etc). While there’s nothing wrong with a nice, drawn out shot, it becomes irritating when compared to the pacing of the rest of this op.
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At the 41 second mark, we are given the shot above. It has flowed directly from the previous sunset scene. We still have not moved away from the image of the trio (aside from the opening shot and the title card) yet we’re approaching the halfway mark of the OP.
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The next shot is the MLA, which lasts about 5 seconds. Ok, perfect. Not too long, but also not short enough to be confusing. It cuts away a little fast once the dude on the far left appears, but does anyone actually know who that is? No, seriously, I’m asking. I don’t remember his name and he’s not on the wiki, so I can only assume he’s not important. Therefore, it’s not all that bad if the shot cuts away shortly after he comes into frame. The audience is able to take in the scene without having to pause...
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... And then the problems start
While this shot is fine in theory, it pans up fast and  cuts away quickly. You know how hard it was for me to get this screenshot? Really hard. You want to know why I struggled so much? Because, due to the timing of the cut and the way it pans upwards, it’s almost impossible to pause on Dabi’s face. I literally had to go frame by frame to get it, because he’s in shot for so little time that naturally pausing is guaranteed to miss him.
When watching this in real time (without pausing) the cut away makes you feel as if you missed something because “something was there, I just couldn’t register what because now it’s gone”. Unlike Compress, who wears a very colourful coat you can recognize the entire time, Dabi’s pants are more blended into the background.
It also doesn’t help that this shot is literally composed to draw your attention away from Dabi until the last possible second. Due to framing, your eye is naturally drawn to the brightly coloured Toga in the foreground, making it super easy to miss Dabi in the back (until, of course, his bright face appears and contrasts against the background, drawing your eye just in time for the scene to change, leaving you to wonder who or what you missed).
I know this sounds like nitpicking, but this shot is the only group shot we get of the League, and is also the start of a seriously weird trend for the villains in this OP getting the short end of the stick.
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Anyways, then we get what I’ll call “The Carousel Shot” in which every Class 1A kid shows up and poses dramatically, as if they were on a carousel. It’s a lovely sequence and I really enjoy watching it but... why is it in this OP?
Seriously, this is a genuine question. Class 1A barely shows up in the Endeavour Agency Arc, and NONE of the students are in MVA. This sequence (not counting the three boys at the end) lasts 8 seconds. Why is this much time dedicated to characters who are barely in the arc? (Unless Studio Bones extends their work studies into fuller plot lines which oh my gosh please don’t do that, or if they do, do it quick).
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We then get what I call the “Oh God I Blinked And Missed Everything” sequence, which lasts 3 seconds (not including the longer, moving shot of Shigaraki at the end) and features NINE INDIVIDUAL IMAGES, none of which are related to each other. Not only is this 3 images per second, but the fact that they are all unrelated means you can’t even use previous information to fill in the blanks.
What do I mean by that? Well, imagine if I show you 9 images of various pro heroes posing. If I play that in 3 seconds you’ll absolutely miss some of them, but as long as you catch some you’ll still get an idea of what I’m trying to show to you. Your brain is able to fill in the gaps that “I recognized 4 pro heroes, therefore the rest must have also been pros” even if you didn’t register every single frame.
That doesn’t work if every frame features a completely different subject. The shots in this sequence vary so widely that it’s impossible to find a through line. Some feature multiple characters, some feature one, some are closeups, some are super far away, some are character’s we know, others are characters we don’t. It’s impossible to get a solid read on what you’re being shown.
Now, again, there’s nothing wrong with these super quick shots... in theory. The problem comes from the fact that these shots are the only indicators for some of the major themes that will be explored during this Cour (like Twice’s growth and young Shigaraki).
That being said, let’s move away from criticism and talk about speculation, because hidden amongst this sequence are two... interesting images.
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This All Might one is very reminiscent of the shot in Chapter 257, where Aizawa and All Might have a conversation while staring up at the stars. However, this is technically the start of the “War Arc” (or the “prologue”, if that’s what you want to call it), so this might indicate that we’re going to get farther into the series than a lot of us guessed.
(Many people suspected we’d get to that cliffhanger at the start of the season (if you read the manga you know the one), but after seeing the pacing for JT a lot of us assumed we’d be lucky to even finish Endeavour Agency. It seems we’re back to the cliffhanger now though lol). 
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This is another really interesting shot because it’s indicative of Shirakumo, meaning we might get to see Aizawa and Mic confront him some time this Cour (this also makes sense, since this confrontation technically happens before that All Might scene I mentioned in the previous paragraph).
But the cat specifically is a really strange addition. That cat is named Sushi and, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Sushi is ever mentioned in the main series. I think he’s only in Vigilantes.
This might just be a little Easter Egg for Vigilante readers, but I’m personally hoping that they’ll add at least a few Vigilante shots in there to really tug at the heart strings. I’d say I want a whole Vigilante episode but I don’t think they have the time (unless they really cram MVA, which I do NOT want).
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I don’t have much to say about the last bit of the OP. The action shot between the 3 boys was nice, and it follows the sort of narrative through line they established from the early shot of them sitting at the sunset. I also like the shot of Endeavour fading in to replace All Might, even if it’s very simple.
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But I want to talk about an overarching problem I touched upon earlier in that villain shot: the way the villains are handled in this OP.
This is a good OP... in theory. The problem is, it doesn’t represent half the arcs in the cour! Every shot of the League is so rushed that you can barely register that they were on screen before they’re gone.
I have no idea how many Episodes Endeavour Agency will take, but I’d assume 3 (4 if you count the Christmas episode). 12 episodes for this Cour minus 3 for Endeavour Agency = 9 episodes left. If we truly do get the prologue for the War Arc (and if we assume it’s only 1 episode) that leaves us with 8 villains episodes.
8/12 episodes (aka two thirds of the Cour) will likely be about the villains. And yet they’re pushed to the background so hard in this OP.
I want to dream, and I want to believe that this OP is going to magically change when MVA starts. The song fits super well, and I can imagine like an inversion of the OP but from the Villain side! Wouldn’t that be neat? Imagine right after the “it’s alright” part Shigaraki just freaking decays the title card... oh man that would be so cool. But, alas, I highly doubt they’d do that.
Side rant, but you know what was so fun about MVA in the manga? It’s that, for 21 chapters, we leave the kids behind and the villains become our protagonists. Suddenly Shigaraki is the one we’re rooting for, suddenly we’re learning backstories for everyone, and suddenly we find ourselves just as attached to the villains as we are to the kids. It’s an inversion that’s SO RARE to find, and I think many people (myself included) were hoping it would be reflected in the OP.
A big part of being the protagonist means featuring heavily in the OP, and a lot of us just wanted the villains to get that honour, even if only once. As is, the OP still treats them as the antagonists when... really they aren’t. Not right now, at least.
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So yeah, final thoughts on the OP are that it’s good, it’s just not very representative of the arcs it’s supposed to cover. If this was just for Endeavour Agency, I’d say it’s actually really cool, but if we assume that this is what will play for the Villain Arc, then it simply doesn’t do it’s job. And it makes me sad to say that because, again, this OP is really well done.
If I had to rate it? Hmmm
If Studio Bones actually grants my wish and creates a different visual for the Villain Arc (while using the same song) and then this version only plays for the Endeavour Agency Arc and the War Prologue? I’d give it an 8/10. It’s really good, but it could use a few more elements that are clearly derived from the Agency Arc (ahem, Todoroki siblings).
But if this is the OP that will play for the entire Cour? a 6.5/10. It’s nice, but it’s not representative of one of the arcs it’s going to cover. And, unlike other arcs like Pro Hero or Summer Exams, the villain Arc is so important and takes up so much time that it honestly feels like a bit of a disservice.
Now for the Ending
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I want to say that I appreciate how soft this ending starts. This cour will likely feature a lot of episodes that end on... heavier themes, and I think the sight of peaceful, falling raindrops is the perfect way to let the audience process their emotions before starting the ending in earnest.
The song itself is very nice, and I like that it’s a bit slower than the more recent endings.
(Side note, but the FUNNIEST moment in the entire series is when Sir Nighteye dies because it’s so emotional and everyone is standing around his bed in his heartwrentching silence, only for the ending to come BLARING IN out of no where. If you forgot how jarringly hilarious it was, go listen to the Eri ending and tell me that’s not the funniest thing this series ever did. Anyways yeah I’m glad that’s not gonna happen this Cour).
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This ending is a bit all over the place in terms of it’s visuals, but honestly I think it works. Most endings usually have a theme tying them together (all the Class 1A girls, a fantasy AU, old photographs, planning a party, etc) but this ending’s theme is a bit harder to identify.
That being said, I think it’s just supposed to show everyone going about their day. It’s calm, it’s peaceful, and it’s just very sweet to think about
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I like this shot. Actually, scratch that, I like this whole sequence. I enjoy anything that allows Class 1A to chill and have fun.
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Hawks is featured quite heavily in this ending which, fair. He’s pretty important in this arc.
I really love the shot where Endeavour immediately switches to Hawks, I thought that was a lot of fun, and very good symbolism on how Hawks wants to be like Endeavour. I also love all the shots of Baby Hawks, because it’s adorable.
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Something about this shot is just so cute. It’s the little domestic things like waiting for a bus that make this ending feel... idk the word, real? It shows a side of the characters that we’ll never see in the episodes, but we know have to exist.
Like yes, of course the kids have to wait for the bus. We never see it, but of course there are those moments of quiet. Agh, I love it.
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The villains also make an appearance and I’m very happy about that (I’d love to see more of the villains just chilling around, I think they deserve it). I kind of wish they weren’t sitting in a dark room for the sake of being edgy, since I think it would be nice to see the villains just... sort of existing, but honestly it’s still a nice shot. I also like how this shot sort of mirrors the first one with Class 1A (someone coming in while everyone else is sitting and waiting for them).
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That being said, as much as I love looking at Dabi and his stupid face (affectionate)... why is Dabi the one getting the closeup?
Mind you, endings don’t need to be connected to their Cours (they can be, like the Eri one, but they don’t have to be). But this ending does seem to be connected to the arcs it intends to cover, given all the Hawks appearances, the boys wearing their work study scarves, etc.
So, I ask again, why Dabi? Out of the six League members, we learn the backstory for four of them in this arc (Shigaraki, Toga, Twice, and we very briefly learn about Spinner). The only two left out are Dabi and Compress.
I can only assume they chose Dabi because he’s constantly in contact with Hawks, and therefore that makes him important? If the OP told us anything, it’s that Bones values the Endeavour Agency Arc over the Villain Arc lol...
... Oh my gosh please tell me that’s not actually the reason Dabi is focused on here BONES WAI-
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Anyways, the ending comes to a close with Hawks watching over the kids and Endeavour. The relaxing time is done, it’s time for work studies.
Overall impression? It’s great. It’s hard to screw up an ending, so as long as you have something pretty on screen, it’s wonderful.
I’ll give this a 9/10
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bravadoseries · 4 years
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tell us about your braudrey wasteland baby analysis
this ended up being long and angsty i am sorry . if u want i can analyze songs from his other album in a happier way to even it out lol
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“nfwmb”: 
“when i first saw you / the end was soon” - audrey and bruce met on the helicarrier and i think when they fought in new york they both knew they might not come out of it.  audrey was inexperienced and way out of her depth, bruce was really against turning back into the hulk again.  
“Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you, the best of you / Honey, belongs to me” - they both give parts of themselves away for the greater good and feel most human with each other
“Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing can get a look in on my baby / Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing” - when hozier wrote this song everyone thought it was about how nothing fucks with his baby because he protects her but he said actually nobody fucks with her because she’s extraordinarily powerful and scary.  i think both of these apply to braudrey—nobody fucks with bruce because audrey protects him, and nobody fucks with the hulk because he’s giant and terrifying 
“moment’s silence (common tongue)” 
“When stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity / Alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity / A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly” - this is related to an upcoming ~chapter~ lol but basically audrey and bruce go on a retreat upstate that’s supposed to give him the opportunity to hulk out and like scare some squirrels in the woods but while they’re there, audrey and the hulk become good friends ? and so that’s why she’s able to reason with bruce when he turns
“almost (sweet music)” 
i would place this one as post aou when audrey thinks bruce is dead.  
“i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - after a bit, she starts dating again but she’s still very much grieving and hung up on him 
“i wouldn’t know where to start / sweet music playin’ in the dark / be still my foolish heart / don’t ruin this on me” - audrey becomes good friends with wanda and pietro after age of ultron and they haven’t been around long but they ask her to talk about it because she sits in her room playing the same song every day and crying and they’re like … ?
“I got some colour back, she thinks so, too / I laugh like me again, she laughs like you” - i think this is just audrey letting herself be close to people again. it’s not the same but it’s not so lonely
“movement”
“I still watch you when you're groovin’” so this song i think is about like someone dancing and being really seductive and sexy but this reminds me of bruce watching audrey dancing really terribly w tony at every avengers function.  audrey literally cannot dance for shit and it’s endearing to bruce 
“When you move / I can recall somethin' that's gone from me / When you move / Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free” - i think bruce gets kind of fixated on watching audrey spar and fight; like partially because it’s hot but also because he sees her as very powerful and finds it magnetizing 
“no plan” 
i’m gonna go ahead and place this as ragnarok/infinity war 
“for starts / what a waste to say the heart could feel apart / or feel complete, baby” - audrey and bruce reunite on sakaar and it’s a very emotional scene; it’s a waste to say the heart could feel apart because she knows she’s not less without him but there’s this understanding, this thing that’s been off that’s finally righted when they’re back together
“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand / That's how I know now that you understand” - this applies to a very specific moment in ragnarok before they go to fight hela where audrey puts her hand over bruce’s and he looks at her and she’s unable to tell him that if they die right now she loves him but he knows anyway
“There's no plan / There's no race to be run / The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun / There's no plan / There's no kingdom to come / I’ll be your man if you got love to get done / Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan / There's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” - so this is all very apocalyptic and not to flex but i was at a concert and hozier talked about this line and how the whole song was written about the doomsday clock and a time when it was closer to zero than ever; it’s a song about throwing caution into the wind at the end of the world and i think that’s fitting.  there’s a period where audrey realizes that they’re not gonna beat thanos, and that the snap is gonna happen, and she takes a breath and notices everything around her and just thinks about how she’s lucky to have had it at all.  
“nobody”
“You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby / It's gin o'clock where I'll wake up, I don't know / And I think about you though everywhere I go / And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know” - this just reminds me of when audrey is away on missions and bruce is still at the base; she’s been everywhere in the world because she’s been alive for so long and she’s been around for a lot; the one thing she’s most grateful for her lifetime to have coincided with though is bruce 
 “i’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” - this is just them lol they understand each other on another level
“I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave” - this is audrey 2 bruce … she would be appalled if he ever tried to get rid of the hulk for good; i think that it’s such a significant part of how they see and understand each other 
“If I had the choice between hearing either noise: The excitement of a thousand or the soothing of your voice / At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body” - they just choose each other.  they choose to be with each other.  this reminds me of the “give your heart and soul to charity” line in nfwmb because it’s like if they had to be heroes without each other they wouldn’t be happy 
“as it was” 
there’s a conversation bruce and audrey have at the safehouse in age of ultron where bruce is saying he doesn’t feel the same since wanda fucked with his head bc of the vision he had, and he’s worried abt whether or not audrey can continue to care for him when the chaos the hulk created wasn’t for any good or if she’s changed her mind and she has to assure him that she hasn’t; there are a lot of lines from this song that remind me of that
-“whatever’s here that’s left of me / is yours just as it was”
-“Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The drug, the dark, / The light, the flame” 
-“its holds had the fight of my baby / and the lights were s bright as my baby / but your love was unmoved”
-“the sights were as stark as my baby / and the cold cut as sharp as my baby / and the nights were as dark as my baby / half as beautiful, too” (unrelated sidenote but this line gives me chills always)
then the second verse of this reminds me of audrey and bruce in ragnarok: 
“Tell me if somehow Some of it remains How long you would wait for me How long I've been away The shape that I'm in now Your shape in the doorway Make your good love known to me Or just tell me about your day”
“shrike” 
so audrey has a really really hard time saying i love you after bruce leaves at the end of aou, to anyone—she says it to steve maybe once, but she can’t say it besides that one time, and it’s part of why she’s so torn up about peggy dying because she didn’t tell her she loved her enough in the months leading up to her death.  
but also, when bruce comes back, audrey still can’t muster up the ability to say them out loud, and so at the end of infinity war, she’s left without telling any of the people she loves that she loves them.  when she comes back in endgame, she’s able to overcome that to tell them.  this song reminds me of that 
“I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now” - this is when she comes back
“The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn / Remember me love when I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn” - this is both; she couldn’t say it, but she’s “reborn” during endgame and she realizes that the worst has already happened countless times; there’s nothing else to be afraid of that she hasn’t survived
“Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted / All of my goodness is going with you now” - this is just audrey when bruce leaves
“talk” 
ok this entire song is just both audrey and bruce when they like each other but don’t wanna say anything about it.  
I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found Hey yeah I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground Hey yeah I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around Hey yeah And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me
I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined For fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you
I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love Hey yeah I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of Hey yeah That's found in the last witness before the wave hits Marvelling at God Hey yeah Before he feels alone one final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me
“dinner & diatribes” 
i think…..this doesn’t match up exactly but the new year’s eve chapter…..Yeah
“Let there be damage ensued and tabloid news / And that kind of love / That's the kinda love / I’ve been dreaming of”
“would that i” 
okay buckle up this one is a lot
“True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me / That the sound of the saw must be known by the tree / Must be felled for to fight the cold / I fretted fire but that was long ago” ok this i think is bruce’s perspective; love in withdrawal was the weeping of me = the isolation he put himself in following becoming the hulk was a very bad spot for him even though it was safest.  the sound of the saw must be known by the tree = gotta risk it for the biscuit! must be felled for to fight the cold / i fretted fire but that was long ago = i used to be afraid but now i’m not; it’s worth the risk 
“Oh, but you're good to me / Oh, you're good to me / Oh, but you're good to me, baby” bruce is just continually confused and surprised by the fact that audrey isn’t scared of him 
“With each love I cut loose I was never the same / Watching still living roots be consumed by the flame / I was fixed on your hand of gold / Laying waste to my loving long ago” 
-with each love i cut loose i was never the same = bruce has cut off everyone he’s been close to since the hulk happened and he’s not the same when he’s alone; he thinks he can make it by himself and he probably can but he doesn’t have to
-i was fixed on your hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago = this is actually nice bc the gold imagery specifically matches up with what audrey’s powers are, and so there’s that connection to be made 
“And it's not tonight / Where I'm set alight / And I blink in sight / Your blinding light” this also just matches up really nicely w audrey’s powers lol
“sunlight” 
“I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight / Oh your love is sunlight” i think this would be bruce after age of ultron ? he’s been lost to audrey, but when he sees her he gravitates back toward her immediately; he sees her love as sunlight
“the tale is the same / told before and told again /  soul that's born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight” - bruce is the soul that’s born in cold and rain and audrey is sunlight
“Each day you rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty” - i think he’s just devoted to her 
“wasteland, baby” 
okay going line by line for this one lol buckle up!
“All the fear and fire of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl” - when they’re fighting thanos audrey is actually reminded of bruce; how losing him felt like the world ending, now it’s for real
“Happens great, happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too” - when audrey goes at the end of infinity war, she goes smiling 
“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you” - they just love each other
“All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns / That all words in the fight fell to” - everything that has happened has led them to this moment; loki, ultron, hydra, etc. without that they wouldn’t have each other, but they also probably wouldn’t be dealing with this mess.  it’s not good or bad, it’s just the way things went.  
“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you”
“And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby” - they know it’s over before it’s over; they can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, and they’re just paralyzed in that moment 
“Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking / Though quaking, though crazy / That's just wasteland, baby” - when audrey goes bruce pleads with her to stay
“And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun / To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs” - in the years after the snap, bruce has the most vivid dream almost every night where audrey’s . like . ghost comes to him and takes him to the top of a hill and they watch the world end around them.  it’s terrible and every time he wakes up he misses it.  
“When the stench of the sea and the absence of green” - ok lol this just reminds me of how the hulk wouldn’t come fight at the end of infinity war 
“Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do” - the world ends; half of everything is dead; but they’re still left.  bruce and steve and everyone have to go on living still.  
“Wasteland, baby / I'm in love, I'm in love with you / (That's it)” - this abruptness just reminds me a lot of the snap; that’s it.  there’s no going back.  
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Lost in Translation - Ch 7
Title: Lost in Translation
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Mckirk
Rating: Lemon
Tags: minor character death, hurt, little bit of self destruction, stranded, possible smut down the line, FLUFF OH THE FLUFF!!
Summary:
    “Attention citizens. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your aid. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship and into open space. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.” 
AO3 Link
Masterlist
Special Thanks: wanted to give a huge shout out to my girl Katie, AKA @goingknowherewastaken for being a huge inspiration for this fic as well as for being a huge help (especially when it comes to putting up with my frantic ramblings lol) you're awesome boo <3
A/N: So this chapter is a bit longer, but I think you’ll find it well worth it! *wink*
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Chapter 7
    Len found himself in the same spot he had been pacing nearly everyday for the last two and a half weeks, and Scotty was sure that if he didn’t stop the doctor would ware a hole in the floor of the transporter room. Scotty watched from his chair as the doctor did circle after circle, eyes wandering between the transporter padd and the screen in front of him before he finally spoke, “Doctor McCoy?” Len stopped for a brief moment to look to Scotty, “Might it be better if you waited back in the medbay, or your chambers? I can call ya when they get back.”
    Len shook his head and continued his pacing, “Spock said they wouldn’t be more then a day, it’s been two, what the hell’s taking so long?! Has anyone had any communication with them at all?!”
    “Sorry, Leonard,” Scotty shook his head, “I tried calling them yesterday and nothin’. I'm sure they’ll be back any minute now, so why don’t you head down to your office and I’ll call ya, you need rest doctor. You look a mess.”
    “I am a mess!” he shouted, though he hadn’t intended to yell at Scotty. But after nearly three weeks now of built up anger and impatience he couldn’t help it. “We’re going on three weeks Jim's been missing and no one seems to know a damn thing about where he went! I can’t take much more disappointment, I just want to know where he is-”
    As it all came boiling over Len felt the all too familiar clench in his chest, the rush of air being forced out of his lungs as if he had been punched. He leaned against the wall behind him and slid down to the floor, wrapping both arms around himself as he tried hard to catch his breath.
    “Right, hod on, doctor!” Scotty was at his side in seconds, sitting beside him, and instructing Len to match his breathing to his own, “I know it’s hard, but we’ll find him, Len, we will. You’ve just got to have a wee bit of hope. Jim's a smart man, I'm sure where ever he is he's just fine and waiting for his doctor to come rescue him.”
    Len looked up at Scotty, his breathing slowly coming back to normal, but before he could say anything the screen lit up and Spock's voice filled the transporter room, “Spock to Enterprise.”
    Scotty jumped up from his spot beside Len and landed himself in the chair, “Scott to Spock, you ready?”
    “Lock on and beam us up.”
    “Aye, one moment.”
    Len watched from his place on the ground as the padd lit up. He counted the figures as they came in and it didn’t look like they had any more people then they beamed down with.
    As they walked off the padd Spock eyed Len and shook his head. All Len could do to avoid another panic attack was pull his knees to his chest and burry his face in his arms. But he could still hear Spock and Nyota as they spoke to Scotty off to the side.
    “What took so long?”
    “When we entered the planet’s city centre there was someone there who thought they had information for us,” Nyota sighed, then continued, “but it was a dead end. It was a completely unrelated incident.”
    “I see,” Scotty ran a hand over his face and crossed his arms. His eyes wandered over to Len still huddled against the wall. He turned back to Nyota and nodded his head towards Len and whispered, “I don’t know what to do wee him. While yous are gone he comes in here and damn near wears a hole in the floor, and this time he went into a fit. Thought he was gunnae stop breathin’. He cannae take much more o’this, none of us can really.”
    “I know,” Nyota turned towards the still unmoving Len and placed a hand on Scotty’s shoulder, “I’ll get him back to his room.”
    “And I shall make way to the bridge. Perhaps some information came in while we were off ship.”
    Spock and Scotty both left the transporter room leaving only Nyota and Len. She slowly walked over to him and knelt down in front of him. She placed her hand on his arm and rubbed her thumb back and forth a moment before she placed her other hand on his shoulder and helped him off the ground. “Come on, Leonard, let’s get you to your room.”
    Without a word Len got up and allowed her to lead him through the halls.
~~~~~~~~~~~
    Before Len even knew it he was standing in front of his door.
    “Ok, in you go, Leonard,” Nyota’s soothing voice came from behind him, “just go to bed and hopefully we’ll have good news tomorrow. If anything happens you know I’ll call you.”
    He nodded mindlessly as he opened the door, then turned back to Nyota, “He's… he’s not coming back.”
    “Don’t say that, Leonard.”
    “I have to face this at some point, Nyota, I can’t…” he stopped to take a calming breath, “I can’t keep hoping that he's going to walk off the transporter padd and come running into my arms. He's been missing for nearly three weeks and we have no information, not a damn thing. And there’s no way his shuttle travelled this far away from the original attack point. He's gone.”
    Len was near tears now and Nyota could see it. She could see the quick rise and fall of his chest and knew he was close to another attack. Running soothing hands down his arms she took a step closer, “There’s always hope.”
    “Yeah,” he scoffed, “people keep telling me that but I'm damn near out of hope at this point. Reality is what we need to face now.”
    “And the reality is that Jim is the best man that Starfleet has, and if anyone could have survived this attack and found somewhere to hold down until rescue, it’s Jim.” She gives his arms a squeeze and says with confidence, “I know it looks bleak but we’ll find him, even this far out. We’ve mapped out a few more planets they could have made it to, and we will find him on one of them, I know it. And he will walk off that padd and he will come running into your arms, I promise.”
    He shakes his head, “You can’t promise me that, no one can.”
    “Leonard, you know Jim better then anyone else. Deep down do you really think he's gone?”
    “I… I don’t want to.” He starts and she stares him down, knowing that was a half assed answer at best, “No, I don’t think he's dead, but I'm so drained, Ny. Every time you head down to a planet I get my hopes up and every time I'm disappointed. I can’t take much more of that. I just… I need Jim.”
    “I know,” she rubs his arm again, “we all do. But he is out there and we will find him, alive. And when we do if you two don’t get over this ridiculous tension, or shyness, or whatever it is between you, and finally admit your feelings for each other after all this, so help me god, Leonard, I will do it myself.”
    He chuckled, but he knew she was right. If… when they got Jim back he was laying it all out on the table. He wasn’t going to let another chance slip away from him, and he certainly wasn’t going to risk losing Jim again without telling him everything.
    Nyota gave him a small smile then turned him towards the door, “Get some rest, Leonard, I’ll see you in the morning.”
    He nodded and walked inside without another word.
~~~~~~~~~~~
    After the door closed behind him Len stood there for a few minutes just staring at the floor. Nyota was right, Jim was still out there somewhere and they would find him, but the wait was killing Len slowly, agonizingly.
    Without even thinking about what he was doing he wandered over to the liquor cabinet in his sitting area, and found himself with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. He popped the lid off and was just about to put the bottle to his mouth when he remembered what had happened the last time. He remembered Nyota's words to him the next morning in medbay. When they found Jim, he would need him to be the best he could be, sober and ready to give Jim whatever he needs.
    Without taking a sip he dropped the bottle to his side and walked over to the sink. No hesitation, he poured the entire bottle down the drain and placed the empty bottle on the counter, and with a new found determination he marched over to the cabinet and started removing bottles by the armful. One by one he dumped all of it down the sink, emptying the cabinet completely, and with a sigh he left the kitchen and walked straight to his room.
    He didn’t even bother changing, just sat on the bed and ran both hands down his face. When he looked up he was staring at the only picture he had in his room, one single frame perched in a place of pride on his nightstand. Len had purposefully placed it there when they were assigned to the Enterprise so he could look at it every night before bed, and it would be the first thing he saw when he woke every morning. It’s his favourite picture in the world, a memory of happier times. It’s a picture from when he and Jim had visited his Gran, back when they were still in the academy.
    His Gran had called him near the end of their second year. She would call every week to hear about Len's school, about his cute and funny room mate Jim, and sometimes Jim would scoot him out of the chair and talk to his Gran for hours. But this time she had called from the hospital. Len’s Gran had been having more and more health problems lately but she insisted that it was nothing, just a small bout of pneumonia, she had said.
    He thought back to their conversation that day, Len worried and Gran brushing it off like she always did, insisting she was perfectly fine…
    “I am fine, Lenny, don’t you go worrying about me.”
    Len sighed and shook his head, “I always worry about you, Gran. You're calling me from your hospital bed, how am I not supposed to worry!?”
    “You just focus on those exams you have coming up and make your Gran proud,” She pointed at the screen, “no fussin’ over me.”
    “Gran,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “if I talk to your nurse, Karen, is she going to tell me I have to come down there?”
    “You know if it was serious Karen would have called you herself,” and she was right, he knew it, “but speaking of, it’s been a long damn time since I’ve gotten a visit from my favourite grandson.”
    He chuckled, “I'm you're only grandson.”
    “Still my favourite,” she smiled, “now, about that visit…?”
    Len turned away from the computer for a moment. He wanted to visit his Gran, he really did, but there was just something in him that couldn’t allow him to leave Jim.
    As if she could read his mind she asked, “Is it Jim?”
    Turning back he nodded, “Yeah, Gran. I don’t know what it is exactly but… I just can’t leave him.”
    The door opened then and Len turned to see Jim walking through the small hallway, toeing off his boots as he did. He waved to Len with a huge smile on his face and walked towards him shouting, “Guess who’s last lecture was cancelled and now has the whole night off!”
    Len laughed at him dancing through the living room and towards him, “I'm guessing the horribly dancing cadet in my living room.”
    “You love my horrible dancing,” he continued to sway his hips towards Len who leaned back in the computer chair with a smirk. When he got almost close enough to sit in Len's lap he saw the computer screen out of the corner of his eye, “Is that Gran!?”
    “It sure is, Jimmy my boy!” she smiled at him, “How are you doin? Good grades I hope.”
    “Nothing but A’s, Gran,” she gave a little fist pump and Jim sat in Len's lap to better see her, looking around her, “are you in the hospital?! What happened?!”
    “See, I'm not the only one that worries about you, Gran,” Len smirked from over Jim's shoulder, leaning his head there and wrapping his arms around the fidgeting body in his lap.
    “Well neither of you should, I'm fine,” both boys gave her a knowing eye roll, “but enough of that. Jimmy, I was just trying to talk Lenny into coming out to visit me the next time y’all have some time off school. What would you say to coming along?”
    Jim's eyes went wide, “You… you want me to come visit you in Georgia?”
    “If you want to,” she smirked then said, “and it would seem that my little Lenny has an awful soft spot for ya, doesn’t want to leave without ya.”
    Jim turned his head to try and hide the blush and Len couldn’t even believe his Gran. “I don’t want to impose on you guys. You should have your family time.”
    “Nonsense,” she waved him off, “you wouldn’t be imposing, no such thing. I want you here and so does Lenny. You are family Jimmy, you belong here, and you're more then welcome to come along if you want to. But I do hope you say yes.”
    Jim's smile brightened tenfold as he answered enthusiastically, “In that case I would love to come! I’ve never been to Georgia.”
    “Well now, that’s a damn shame son,” she pointed to Len behind Jim, “while you're out here you better show him all the ropes, you hear, full Georgia experience, and I’ll make you all my famous dishes.”
    Len shifted his head again to try and get a word in over Jim's shoulder, “We’ll have some time off after exams, Gran, so if you're home by then we’ll head out once exams are over. We’ll have two weeks off before we have to be back.”
    “That sounds great boys, I’ll see y’all then!”
    “Bye Gran, feel better,” both Len and Jim waved to her as she blew a kiss and ended the call…
    Thinking back on the memory Len laughed. After that call with Gran, Jim spoke of nothing else for the next three weeks leading up to exams. It was the most excited he had ever seen the kid and he thought it was adorable.
    Len ran his fingers over the picture in his hands. Gran had taken that picture on their first night in Georgia. The minute their last exam was over Jim was ready and waiting for Len inside their room, bags packed, and shoes on waiting by the door. They hopped on a shuttle and arrived at his Gran’s house late afternoon. When the sun went down Len had dragged Jim outside and started a fire, then the two of them laid in the grass and spent hours looking up at the stars together, clear as day in the Georgia sky.
    It was night one of their two week stay in Georgia, and Gran must have snuck outside to snap this picture. Len was lying on the ground, one arm behind his head and the other around Jim. Jim was using half of Len's chest and his arm as a pillow, wrapped in Len's oversized high school football jacket, smiling and pointing towards the sky. The glow from the fire lit up their faces and Len couldn’t help but think Gran had captured the perfect moment. Jim in all his wonder filled glory, and Len staring at him like he hung the moon and stars.
    That trip back home was the best two weeks of Len's life. Two weeks spent with Jim, two weeks of no class and no work, two weeks of just being together. And now that he thinks back on it, two weeks completely wasted. He was given so many opportunities in Georgia to tell Jim how he really felt, and out of fear he let them all pass him by. Now, he couldn’t help but think that maybe if he had told Jim back then, just grew a pair and told Jim how he felt, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe Jim wouldn’t have been so stubborn and let him on that shuttle, instead of heading off alone with fourteen fresh cadets. Then at least, they would still be together now, rather then Jim being god knows where, and Len laying in bed clutching desperately to precious memories.
    He lay back in his bed clutching the picture tightly to his chest thinking back on all the chances he had back then. So many opportunities wasted, and he swore then and there, that if someone would give him the chance again he wouldn’t pass it up this time. Jim would know, as he should have known back then in Georgia.
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    “Turkey dinner, peach pie for dessert, and the best damn grandma anyone could ask for?! Bones, if you would have told me how amazing Georgia was, we would have come sooner.”
    Len just chuckled at Jim sitting on the couch across form him. In the mere two days they had been at his Gran’s farm in Georgia, Jim had certainly made himself at home. Not that Len or anyone else was complaining. His Gran loved Jim. Yeah, she had spoken to Jim over video calls before, and she always loved chatting with him, but seeing the two actually interact with each other was priceless. Not to mention Len was loving relaxed and carefree Jim Kirk. Usually the kid was running back and forth across campus morning, noon, and night. Taking on extra classes, joining extra curricular’s, and Len was lucky if he could pin the kid down for more then fifteen minutes before he was either running off to his next class, or promptly passing out on the nearest flat surface in their room. Social life be damned, apparently.
    But in good old Georgia, with no classes or crazy course loads, no late night medbay shifts or 2am emergency surgery calls, he was actually able to spend proper time with Jim and they were both finally able to breathe. And he noticed that Jim was taking full advantage of the fact that the next two weeks were completely wide open and stress free. No class, no obligations, no work, just him and Len and sweet little Gran.
    “Yeah, well don’t get used to it, kid. When we get back to the academy don’t expect me to dote on your every whim like Gran.” Len then shot a look at his Gran across the room. She was sitting in her rocking chair, smiling at the two of them. “Which you shouldn’t do, Gran, by the way. He's like an animal, if you keep feeding him he’ll never leave.”
    Jim threw one of the couch pillows across the room at Len, hitting him in the side of the face. Len launched the pillow right back, Gran laughing along with the two of them.
    “Nonsense,” she laughed, “I'm just glad to have two wonderful boys in the house to spend my time with. And you, my beautiful grandson, I haven’t seen you smile like this in a very long time.”
    She reached over and took his chin in her hand, giving his face a squeeze and a little shake. When she let go he smiled and his eyes trailed across the room to Jim, and when their eyes made contact his smile beamed even brighter than before.
    Gran watched the two of them, had been now for the last two days, and she was no dense woman. She had raised Leonard from the time he was knee high to a grasshopper. She knew the life he had lead up until now. She knew of the hardships he had faced from such a young age. And she knew that the reason why Len's attitude and entire outlook on life had done a complete u-turn, was because of the very handsome blond haired boy currently sitting on her living room couch.
   The two never took their eyes off of each other, just stared between themselves like no one else was there. But as said before, she knew her grandson and she knew him well, which meant that she knew if she didn’t do something about the tension between them, her head strong grandson certainly wouldn’t. And in her opinion it had already gone on for two years too long.
    A quick turn of her head brought her attention to the old record player in the corner of the room. A rare collectable Leonard had bought her for her birthday one year, along with a small box of vinyl’s to go with it. Standing, she motioned to the two boys, pulling them from each others eyes and said, “Move this table for me, would you boys?” as she sauntered over to the record player and began fiddling with it.
    The two got up without question and shoved the table out of the way against the back wall, leaving the room now wide open.
    “What are we doing, Gran?” Jim quirked a brow and Len returned to his seat.
    “We, dear boy,” she turned as she got the player working and an old song played through the room, “are going to teach you how to do the quick step.”
    “Alright!” Len chuckled at Jim’s enthusiasm, watching from his seat on the couch with a smile as his Gran began leading Jim around the living room.
    He remembered when he was younger, on the good days when it was just him and his Gran at home, and she would put on music and lift him onto her toes. She would swing him around the living room just like she was right now with Jim, and it was one of the very rare times she was able to pull a smile from Len. Of course, after many years since then and a significant dip in her health, she couldn’t move as fast as she used to but she was still as graceful as ever. And Jim, despite his obvious two left feet, never faltered her step and was somehow managing to pick up the steps fairly quickly. Even managing to swing Gran out for a twirl and pull her back in for a dip in Len’s direction. Len laughed and clapped for their performance as they continued to move around their makeshift dance floor. Jim laughing and swaying his hips to the beat of the music.
    Halfway through the song Gran caught Len's eyes over Jim's shoulder. She sent him a look and a nod in Jim's direction, a look that she had given him many a time before that meant “pick up your feet, boy!” and Len merely shook his head. Of course she would have an ulterior motive for the impromptu dance session, of course it involved getting Len to finally make a move on Jim, and of course she would have already figured out that Len would need a shove in the right direction to do so.
    So Len waited until Jim's back was to him again and stood. Gran saw him, and waited until Len was in the perfect position, then quickly turned in Jim's hold and twisted Jim around and snuck away from him. Leaving a very confused Jim halfway through a twirl and partner-less, until he found himself being quickly pulled into a pair of strong steady arms, flawlessly being swept back up into the motions of the dance.
    Len took the lead and Jim easily followed, the two dancing and laughing through the rest of the song. Gran took a step back to watch, loving the bright smile on her grandson’s face, a smile that even reached up to touch his eyes. She knew from the very first time she spoke to Jim that he was something special to Leonard, she knew from the way Len would tell her about Jim when she called every week. They were made for each other and obviously both too damn stubborn to do anything about it. But she would be damned if she was gunna sit back and wait.
    When neither of the boys were paying attention, Gran snuck up to the record player and swiftly switched the song, this time to a much slower one. She smirked as the two faltered at the sudden change in pace, their hands still clasped together, Jim's other arm around Len's neck and Len's holding Jim firmly at the waist. They stopped moving, both of them awkwardly looking away from each other and standing very close. Len watched as his Gran gave him a nod, then silently left the two of them alone in the room closing the door behind her.
    Len smiled and shook his head again. He could always count on his Gran to give him a not so subtle push in the right direction.
    He let go of Jim, who still couldn’t make his eyes, and took a step back. Len held out his hand and as the smooth voice of Elvis began singing the sweet lyrics of “can’t help falling in love with you,” and Jim finally met his gaze as he smiled and asked, “May I have this dance?”
    Jim smiled back and took Len's offered hand, allowing Len to twirl Jim once before pulling him in close, as close to his chest as he could manage, until there was nothing left between them. Len swayed them gently to the music, and as the song went on their steps began getting slower and smaller, until they had almost stopped moving. Len took the hand that was holding Jim's and placed Jim's hand around his neck, using his now free hand to lift Jim's face up to his.
    They were so close, closer then he had ever been to Jim. Their bodies were pressed tightly against each other, noses bumping and eyes half lidded as they stood almost motionless in the living room. While the song played on Len couldn’t help but think just how perfect the lyrics were for the two of them. He had fallen so hard and so fast for Jim Kirk right from day one, and he just couldn’t help it. No matter how many times he told himself it wasn’t the case, they were only friends, or that Jim would never love him back, in this moment he couldn’t help but think that maybe none of that was true. The way Jim was holding him, leaning flush up against his body and wrapped tightly around Len, one hand clutching his neck and the other wound into his hair, he wondered if maybe it were possible that Jim did feel the same way, maybe he could love and be loved by Jim after all.
    He decided then, as he ran a hand up Jim's back and felt the shiver that struck his whole body with the action, that he had to know. He needed to know how Jim felt, and he needed Jim to know how he felt. He couldn’t wait any longer and decided to go for it, he was finally going to make his move. The song was coming to an end and it was now or never. Their faces were already so close, noses touching and breath mixing between them. Len shifted slightly, bringing their lips closer, almost touching. He heard Jim's breathing hitch when their lips brushed against each other, and all Len had to do was press the smallest distance forwards and he would finally be kissing Jim. He was almost there…
    The fire alarm from the kitchen ripped through their moment, the two jumping in surprise with the sudden loud shrieking. After a moment to gather themselves they remembered that they were not alone and pulled away from each other in a panic, Gran was in the kitchen alone, and both went running through the door.
    Gran was standing on a chair by the stove, frantically waving a towel back and forth in front of the alarm over head. Jim quickly sprung into action and ran to the stove turning off the burners and opening windows. Len followed Jim further into the kitchen and looked up to his Gran who shot him an apologetic look and whispered, “I'm sorry, Lenny.”
    He just smiled at her, holding up a hand to help her down from the chair once the alarm stopped screaming at them. “What happened, Gran?”
    “Well, I thought you and Jimmy might like some ice cream and custard,” she began, knowing full well already that she had ruined anything that might have had a chance of happening in that room between them, “turned my back for a second to grab the custard mix and the damn milk boiled over and started burning. I'm sorry, boys.”
    Len gave her back a quick rub and Jim turned to shoot her a smile. “No worries, Gran, Bones and I will clean this right up for you.”
    “Yeah, Gran, why don’t you go sit in the living room. We’ll be in once we’re finished.”
    “You boys are too good to me,” she gave them both a pat on the arm as she walked past them and back into the living room, settling herself back into the rocking chair.
    It wasn’t too long before both boys came back, ice cream in hand for the three of them. She may have accidentally ruined the moment earlier with the burning milk fiasco, but it didn’t miss her eyes when Jim sat on the couch next to Len this time instead of the other couch. She also didn’t miss when Jim pushed himself even closer to Len, so close that their sides were touching from shoulder to knee, and Len's neck and face turned a shade of red so deep her roses would be jealous.
    They finished off their second desert of the night and turned on an old movie, but she was less interested in that and more so in what was happening on the couch to her left. From the corner of her eye she watched as Jim, who was already pressed right up against Len, shifted impossibly closer and leaned his head on Len's shoulder. Not soon after, Len lifted his arm inviting Jim to curl in, which he took no time in doing, and held Jim close to his side, placing his free hand on Jim's thigh and rubbing small circles in the soft skin there.
    It may not have gone exactly how she had planned it, but she couldn’t help but think to herself, point one for Gran!
~~~~~~~~~~~
    Len placed the padd on Jim's side table and took both his hands in his. “Do you remember that Jim? Dancing with me in the living room?”
    With the padd and logs forgotten for now, Len dove deeper into those treasured memories back in Georgia. “I remember it as if it were yesterday. You and me, swaying to Elvis in Gram’s living room. I… almost kissed you that day, I wish I had, and every day after that I wanted to. I guess I just never got the nerve to actually go through with it, with telling you how I felt or kissing you.” He sighed, giving Jim's hands a squeeze, “I doubted it at first, assumed maybe I was just reading signals wrong, but after our visit with Gran I knew there was more between us then just friendship, but I never wanted to push you.”
    Len chuckled. His Gran was right, they really were two stubborn and hard headed boys. “I guess both of us were waiting for the other to make the first move, and now look at us. I nearly went mad while you were missing and you're here unconscious and…” he took a steadying breath, “you're here and I can touch you, and feel you but I can’t… I can’t have you until you wake up, Jim. Just wake up for me, I don’t want anymore lost time between us.”
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A/N: Sooooo getting into some sweet memories!! XD I’m looking forward to writing more of these!
Would anyone like a little sneak peak...? Ok then!
So things to look forwards to: Cowboy hats, possibly more dancing, and...... THE POND!
As always if anyone wants to be tagged for the future, or any other fics, just let me know :D
Tags: @goingknowherewastaken @bi-e-ne @weresilver-in-space @0dannyphantom0 @haveyouseenmymind @medicatemedrmccoy @resistance-is-futile81 @jimboy-mccoy @reading-in-moonlight @flaminglupine
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