#in this weird headspace rn that's exactly the intersection of

[swarmkeepers]

.

#sola said #in this weird headspace rn that's exactly the intersection of #a) thinking about asian american themes and what makes a theme asian american and which characters i hc as asian diaspora and why #and b) making ocs for dnd stuff with friends for the first time! one that's just for fun to think about but also characters i'm gonna PLAY #and i'm super excited but it's also been a while since i've done original stuff at all #when i'm doing fandom stuff i feel like i usually stick pretty close to canon #and so these two things intersected in the exact place that's like #you know what would be fun? #reading back the rp forums you were on in 2013! #oh little baby sola #i have so much affection still for like #my past self who was writing there #and for friends there (i am not. in contact with them anymore. some folks got real conservative real fast) #and for what i wrote there #but like. oh little baby sola #i spent so long as a kid writing all my characters white #and on this forum (it's still up it's still moderated there are kids there who are the same age i was when i was posting there. #i have a lot of affection for it as a place i think was a good way to learn how to Be Online back then) #i can read back and see how i started slowly making my characters mixed #being a little bit more asian. never more than half. #some real asian girl with blue eyes stuff / some real white girl with japanese name stuff #i spent so long as a kid with the Compulsory Fantasy Whiteness #making all my characters white or mixed for no good reason #i was half joking with AJ earlier but like #i served my time on those forums. that era is over #now not only are all my OCs asian #in fact now other people's characters in my hcs? they're asian too. fight me. (points beam of vietnameseness at gorgug thistlespring- ) #all this to say like. i was a little kid when i wrote those forum posts! i was trying then and i'm trying now so i look back and know better #i don't think i'll ever stop unlearning but like. we unlearn and we stay compassionate to our younger selves who hadn't done that yet #and we keep learning and we keep growing (but sometimes it is funny to look back)