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#in this case it’s a not a very good correlation
exeggcute · 5 months
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I do know with certainty that some places/people do use the pronouns and identity fields in their applications as a way of filtering because I have been told so proudly by some people that they do precisely that
unfortunately not surprised to hear that because I halfway suspected as much (the blatant bragging though... I hope the EEOC "randomly" decides to drop in one day 😭) but tbh at this point I'm almost glad to use that as a way to filter out Places That Would Especially Fucking Suck To Work For... which I know makes me lucky enough to even be in a position to do that kind of filtering. unless I'm totally overestimating my job prospects here lol.
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keeps-ache · 1 year
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why break a tradition y'kno lol
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hella1975 · 2 years
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i hate reading hangovers in fics bc either not a single fic writer ever has written an accurate hangover OR mine are just weird and you know what i think i can tell which one it is. like where is my representation for the bitches that get incredibly depressed when they're hungover. like it cant just be me alcohol is literally a depressant. i have to actually police myself and my thought process when im hungover bc ive realised it just makes me unreasonable. i have to go 'we'll think about this tomorrow' no matter how pressing the problem seems bc i honest to god cannot respond proportionally when im hungover i convince myself the world is ending and that im an awful awful person and yeah okay i can see why people aren't adding this fun part of hangovers into their cute fluff fics now
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phantomrose96 · 2 months
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The conversation around AI is going to get away from us quickly because people lack the language to distinguish types of AI--and it's not their fault. Companies love to slap "AI" on anything they believe can pass for something "intelligent" a computer program is doing. And this muddies the waters when people want to talk about AI when the exact same word covers a wide umbrella and they themselves don't know how to qualify the distinctions within.
I'm a software engineer and not a data scientist, so I'm not exactly at the level of domain expert. But I work with data scientists, and I have at least rudimentary college-level knowledge of machine learning and linear algebra from my CS degree. So I want to give some quick guidance.
What is AI? And what is not AI?
So what's the difference between just a computer program, and an "AI" program? Computers can do a lot of smart things, and companies love the idea of calling anything that seems smart enough "AI", but industry-wise the question of "how smart" a program is has nothing to do with whether it is AI.
A regular, non-AI computer program is procedural, and rigidly defined. I could "program" traffic light behavior that essentially goes { if(light === green) { go(); } else { stop();} }. I've told it in simple and rigid terms what condition to check, and how to behave based on that check. (A better program would have a lot more to check for, like signs and road conditions and pedestrians in the street, and those things will still need to be spelled out.)
An AI traffic light behavior is generated by machine-learning, which simplistically is a huge cranking machine of linear algebra which you feed training data into and it "learns" from. By "learning" I mean it's developing a complex and opaque model of parameters to fit the training data (but not over-fit). In this case the training data probably includes thousands of videos of car behavior at traffic intersections. Through parameter tweaking and model adjustment, data scientists will turn this crank over and over adjusting it to create something which, in very opaque terms, has developed a model that will guess the right behavioral output for any future scenario.
A well-trained model would be fed a green light and know to go, and a red light and know to stop, and 'green but there's a kid in the road' and know to stop. A very very well-trained model can probably do this better than my program above, because it has the capacity to be more adaptive than my rigidly-defined thing if the rigidly-defined program is missing some considerations. But if the AI model makes a wrong choice, it is significantly harder to trace down why exactly it did that.
Because again, the reason it's making this decision may be very opaque. It's like engineering a very specific plinko machine which gets tweaked to be very good at taking a road input and giving the right output. But like if that plinko machine contained millions of pegs and none of them necessarily correlated to anything to do with the road. There's possibly no "if green, go, else stop" to look for. (Maybe there is, for traffic light specifically as that is intentionally very simplistic. But a model trained to recognize written numbers for example likely contains no parameters at all that you could map to ideas a human has like "look for a rigid line in the number". The parameters may be all, to humans, meaningless.)
So, that's basics. Here are some categories of things which get called AI:
"AI" which is just genuinely not AI
There's plenty of software that follows a normal, procedural program defined rigidly, with no linear algebra model training, that companies would love to brand as "AI" because it sounds cool.
Something like motion detection/tracking might be sold as artificially intelligent. But under the covers that can be done as simply as "if some range of pixels changes color by a certain amount, flag as motion"
2. AI which IS genuinely AI, but is not the kind of AI everyone is talking about right now
"AI", by which I mean machine learning using linear algebra, is very good at being fed a lot of training data, and then coming up with an ability to go and categorize real information.
The AI technology that looks at cells and determines whether they're cancer or not, that is using this technology. OCR (Optical Character Recognition) is the technology that can take an image of hand-written text and transcribe it. Again, it's using linear algebra, so yes it's AI.
Many other such examples exist, and have been around for quite a good number of years. They share the genre of technology, which is machine learning models, but these are not the Large Language Model Generative AI that is all over the media. Criticizing these would be like criticizing airplanes when you're actually mad at military drones. It's the same "makes fly in the air" technology but their impact is very different.
3. The AI we ARE talking about. "Chat-gpt" type of Generative AI which uses LLMs ("Large Language Models")
If there was one word I wish people would know in all this, it's LLM (Large Language Model). This describes the KIND of machine learning model that Chat-GPT/midjourney/stablediffusion are fueled by. They're so extremely powerfully trained on human language that they can take an input of conversational language and create a predictive output that is human coherent. (I am less certain what additional technology fuels art-creation, specifically, but considering the AI art generation has risen hand-in-hand with the advent of powerful LLM, I'm at least confident in saying it is still corely LLM).
This technology isn't exactly brand new (predictive text has been using it, but more like the mostly innocent and much less successful older sibling of some celebrity, who no one really thinks about.) But the scale and power of LLM-based AI technology is what is new with Chat-GPT.
This is the generative AI, and even better, the large language model generative AI.
(Data scientists, feel free to add on or correct anything.)
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sokosmic · 4 months
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Astro Observations #8
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📧 Scorpio placements love to probe people for information. This is actually something that comes very natural to them and is often an unconscious behavior. Often the Scorpio doesn't even have to do anything. People tend to reveal themselves willingly and unwillingly. This is the nature of Pluto. It naturally uncovers whatever is hidden. Planets in the 8th House can behave this way as well.
📧 The sign in your 3rd House can give clues about the type of work you may be involved in. Because a theme of the 3rd House includes short distance trips, such as your day-to-day commute, the sign ruling this house often goes hand-in-hand with your work. For instance, I have Leo in the 3H. Leo rules government (source: the rulership book by rex e. bills). I have worked in government for almost 20 yrs.
📧 Mutable Signs/Placements move on their own time. Even if they are punctual, their desire to do things when they want takes priority. It's the nature of scattered energy.
📧 Saturn in the 4th House can indicate karma with the mother or native's family. This placement often requires a lot of obligation to the mother/family . The native feels bound by the obligations and often wishes to escape, but may also feel a sense of duty and embrace their role as the glue in the family. Capricorn ruling the 4th House may also manifest this way.
📧 A 1st House Lilith may attract unsolicited sexual energy. These people have a very natural sex appeal that they may or may not be aware of. And it may not be because of what you would identify as things that are overtly sexy
📧 I've noticed a theme among women with Capricorn in 5th House or Ruler of the 10th in the 4th House is they are often stay at home mothers.
📧 People with Pluto square Mercury have a real tendency to try and tear you down with their words. This isn't always the case, but if threatened or feel they need to gain the upper hand in a conversation, they are very likely to lash out with viscous words. Mars square Mercury can behave similarly, but they are usually the folks that tend to cut others off in conversation.
📧 Cancer placements would much rather purchase you an item than to share that item of their own. It's not that they are necessarily stingy, they just like the security of knowing something belongs to them and exactly when they may need to replace it.
📧 Mars in Libra people can be big procrastinators because they have a tendency towards indecisiveness. These are people who sometimes ride the fence because Libra energy can see all sides.
📧 If you've ever had a terrible experience with a supervisor that goes overboard with micro-managing, it is very likely they are Pluto in Virgo generation. These folks thrive off of getting down to the details, and having some sort of control over outcomes, so nothing goes unnoticed...including EVERYTHING you do lol.
📧 People with Cancer in the 6th House or Aquarius Risings may be annoyingly anal, but in a kinda good way, about taking care of their coworkers or things in the workplace. They may tend to stress over things being out of place or generally keeping up with how things should be "taken care of" in the work environment. This stress can lead to gut and stomach issues, such as ulcers or indigestion. Their daily routines often involves them taking care of things to ensure security for themselves and others.
📧 My studies have shown that the North Node sign and placement, often correlates to the native's Life Path number!
📧 Pisces Mercury / Pisces 3rd House folks are some of the most difficult people [for me] to understand at times! Their minds and mode of communication can be very abstract, which isn't hard to follow (especially if you are Mutable/Mercurial like me), but at times it's like you think they are saying one thing, but their theory isn't translating into a relatable, concrete concept. And there's nothing wrong with that. Pisces Mercury people are HIGHLY creative and artistic. These are your fashionistas, makeup artists, musicians, and poets. They also make great actors.
📧 Moon in Gemini folks can be some of the best storytellers! They use lots of funny words and phrases to express their emotions through their stories. They often get a bad rap for switching up often, but to me, they have an impressive way of intertwining emotions and intellect. If I had to describe them in 2 words, it would be plot twist lol.
📧 Neptune in the 5th House can cause pregnancies to be elusive or deceptive in some form, such as false signs of pregnancy or having difficulty carrying pregnancies to term.
These are my observations and opinions. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't!
-So.Kosmic 👽💜💫
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astrobydalia · 6 months
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Predicting the chart of your future spouse
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First of all, thank you to @harmoonix for inspiring me to make this post!
I wanted to share some key thing I've observed that you should look out for in your Groom (5129) and Briede (19029) persona charts if you want to know what placements your future spouse might have. Look at Groom PC if you're looking to marry a man and Briede PC if you're looking to marry a woman. These asteroids move very slowly so in order to get more insight about your person looking at these charts is important
For other options you can apply these to Descendent PC and to a lesser extent Juno PC, those can ring true as well, but the main research of this post is focused on Groom/briede
These are patterns I've extracted based on my research analyzing the charts of married couples. Presented in no particular order
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
work by astrobydalia
The Ascendant/1st house/Placement of asc ruler
… in the groom/briede pc. This I’ve seen correlated mainly to the Sun or Asc of spouse since it is indicative of their main personality traits and characteristics. It can also relate to other prominent placements/energies of spouse
Hailey Bieber has Scorpio ASC in her Groom PC and Justin Bieber is a Scorpio ASC
Justin Bieber has Sagittarius ASC in his Briede PC and Hailey is a Sagittarius ASC
One of my clients had Cancer ASC on her Groom PC and her husband was a water ASC with moon in his 1st house
Blake Lively has Sagittarius ASC with Uranus, Saturn and Neptune 1st house in her Groom PC and her husband Ryan is a mutable rising. It’s worth mentioning the he’s also known for having a bold, eccentric (Uranus) and humorous personality, he's also older than her (Saturn) and he's from a different country (sag). He also has Sagittarius IC and Venus
Joanne Woodward has Virgo Asc in her Groom pc with its ruler falling in Libra and her husband Paul Newman was an earth rising with Venus and Mercury conjunct his Asc
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
Moon placement
this one is so important! 9/10 your spouse's moon will have similar qualities as the moon in your groom/briede pc or spouse might have placements in this sign
Most common case in my research: spouse’s moon is in the same element or modality as the moon in the Groom/Bride pc
Other example is a client of mine had Cancer moon in his Briede pc and his wife had Moon-Jupiter conjunction in her chart (jupiter expands moon’s qualities and is also exalted in cancer)
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
Part of Fortune/Vertex
I’ve seen these being a less literal indicative of actual placement but it does show prominent energies in spouse definitely, specially within the relationship
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
Dignities
pay attention to this one!!! I’ve seen it being SO accurate! I’ve noticed that if a planet (particularly inner planet) is in good or bad dignity in your groom/briede pc, your fs will likely have that planet in one of its signs of domicile, exaltation, fall or detriment. This also makes that particular planet significant in your person’s chart (meaning it might be dominant, on the angles, in joy houses, etc)
Mila Kunis has Scorpio Mars (mars’ domicile) in her Groom PC and Ashton Kutcher is a Cancer Mars (mars’ detriment)
She also has Sun in Aries (sun’s exaltation) in her groom pc chart and Ashton in an Aquarius Sun (sun’s debilitation)
The client I mentioned above also had Aries Sun in his briede pc and his wife had her Sun in the 9th house (sun’s joy)
Blake Lively has Taurus Moon (moon’s exaltation) in her Groom PC and Ryan is a Scorpio Moon (moon’s detriment)
Grace Kelly had Libra Venus (venus domicile) in her Groom pc and her husband was a Taurus Venus (venus domicile)
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
Angular houses
similar to the last point. The common consensus I’ve seen with this one is that if you have a certain planet in an angular house in the groom/briede pc, your spouse likely has that planet in an angular house too or that planet is significant in them
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
Degrees
planets at critical degrees in your groom/briede pc can be significant or manifest quite literally in your person’s chart
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
work by astrobydalia
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jkbabiey · 1 year
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What your Lilith sign says about you
OBS: If you don't know what your lilith sign is, just use an online chart calculator (strongly recommend using the 'Extended Chart Selection' on astro.com - don't forget to add 'Lilith' in 'Additional Objects'). Also, this is an 18+ post so, if you're under that age, pls don't read it!!
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𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐴𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠:
Lilith in Aries loves a good fight, as they embody the spirit of competition;
There is a particular need to completely dominate every fight they get into and every hater they come across;
There's a tendency in these natives to turn their anger into action, which can lead to a physical display of anger in the form of physical aggression, affecting everyone and everything in sight and spreading like wildfire (which will most likely be the case for those who don't have a suitable outlet for their fierce temper, like a sport);
These natives have a primal sex drive and can become restless in love, in the sense that they can get easily bored if there's no newness in the relationship;
Lilith in Aries craves rough, raw sex
To these natives, sex would, ideally, be quick, dirty, and aggressive
There's a significant correlation between sex and aggression to these natives - somehow, sex after fighting may be a huge turn-on to them;
They may have a thing for domination themes in sex (either being dominated or dominating someone)
As arise dominates the head, there may be a particular liking towards hair pulling, or oral sex.
They may find people who are rough around the edges attractive - their type is the bad boy (they may even find scars attractive).
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑇𝑎𝑢𝑟𝑢𝑠:
Lilith in Taurus doesn't like to share. They hold onto their possessions tightly;
These natives may feel torn between wanting to embody the sense of lust they feel and enjoying the goods of all 5 senses (good food, good sex, good perfume, good music...), and feeling ashamed of wanting too much, which can lead to sudden emotional outbursts, emotional disorders or even eating disorders;
These natives appreciate comfort, and they can feel anxious whenever they are out of their comfort zone;
They can't handle change, which can lead to them staying in situations that no longer serve them, like toxic relationships, or unfulfilling jobs;
They are all about material security and stability, as they love luxury and fear poverty;
Undeveloped lilith in taurus can lead to someone who is egotistical, selfish, gets everything they want (not caring about what effect that may have on other people), and mocks people with financial needs
These people are prone to throw jealous fits;
Sex with these natives should involve all five senses: the room should smell amazing, there should be amazing quality bedding, an appetizer (like chocolate-covered strawberries, or something), and sensuous lighting. Bonus points if you use whipped cream during sex;
Taurus rules the neck area, so this has to be a focus for their partner;
Hickeys, neck kisses, neck biting, choking, or even leashes - may all be some of these natives' kinks
Also, vocalization is IMPORTANT - you moan, groan, say what you want and what you're gonna do (just express any sexual gratification).
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐺𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖:
Lilith in Gemini is curious and that can be a blessing and a curse for them. These natives say no to nothing; they will try anything at least once. They want to experience it all, which may lead to them experiencing some stuff that they may hate;
These individuals are very prone to be misunderstood;
They can seem arrogant because they have a sharp tongue and they know how to use it - they can be wicked with what they say when angry;
Their strongest weapon is their mind - they can make excellent communicators, embodying the smooth-talker, but can also use that as a way to manipulate other people;
There's something seductive in the way these natives communicate and most of them may have an attractive voice
These natives are known for giving mixed signals, having a tendency to run hot or cold, and flipping switches on people without a second thought;
These natives are indecisive and may have some trouble knowing what they want in their love life, and most of the time they harbor adoration towards someone but when it gets serious they run away, which can be associated with the non-committal energy associated with the sign of Gemini - and can lead to a deep frustration in these individuals
 These natives need to be intellectually stimulated, being attracted to people who can keep up with their witty nature, and who can keep up a fluid conversation - dirty talk can be a huge turn-on to these individuals;
Gemini Lilith can appear one way, initially to prospective partners, and completely flip the switch in the bedroom ;
Gemini rules the shoulder, the arms, the hands, and the fingers, so these body parts are in focus during sex - they may like scratching or biting their partner's shoulders or arms during sex; Also, these natives may be attracted to someone who has muscular arms/shoulders and/or tatted arms/shoulders/hands...
The hands are ruled by gemini so they may have a kink for sucking their partner's fingers; They may also love it when their partner grabs them inappropriately in a public setting and may enjoy giving/receiving hand-jobs or being fingered/fingering their partner
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟:
Lilith in Cancer embodies the maternal feminine power;
These individuals have a particular need to feel needed which can lead to them over-giving and not receiving anything;
Undeveloped Lilith in Cancer may dismiss their own healthy limits, overextending themselves for the sake of someone else's comfort;
These natives suffer from separation anxiety, and their biggest fear is abandonment, which can lead to them being overly clingy and needy, invading their partner's personal space;
You may be unable to feel anything sexual towards your partner if there's no emotional connection beforehand;
These individuals have a calming, gentle, and soft energy to them, and they have an other-worldly ability to read other people - they can use these characteristics to emotionally manipulate their partners, using it to keep them from leaving
This soft energy is still present in the bedroom. These natives love to be taken care of during sex, but they can also read their partner easily, meaning they will know how to get their partner off by picking up on subtle hints and desires
Cancer rules the chest, the breast, and the stomach. They may like to sexualize their breast by using lingerie, accessories, and cologne/perfume. These natives may also be attracted to someone with a voluptuous breasts or a muscular chest;
Cancer Lilith may enjoy chest play, as well as licking and sucking the stomach area. Since cancer is ruled by the Moon, which is related to the motherly figure, there may also be a kink related to pregnancy
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑒𝑜:
Lilith in Leo isn't afraid of the spotlight. This placement exudes a golden aura of charm that mesmerizes the ones around them - which can be used as a way of manipulation;
These individuals have a captivating presence. They are very attractive and they know it, and this may lead to someone with a lot of self-respect, or to someone egocentric;
This level of physical attractiveness can lead to shallow relationships, and, as these individuals tend to seek other people's approval, they avoid digging deeper into their relationships, to keep their partner from seeing their ugly side;
These natives can't deal with criticism, be it constructive or not, as they have a strikingly strong egos;
These natives like drama - they are not afraid of starting drama just for the fun of it. Leo is a provocative sign, so in a relationship, a Leo Lilith won't be afraid of starting an argument just to see rile up their partner;
These individuals can be selfish in love, looking to be the center of attention in their relationship
These natives like dramatic sex. They are ferocious and passionate when it comes to sex.
Leo rules the back and shoulder, so scratching, biting, and even whipping these areas may be a turn-on for these natives;
They are also attracted to strong healthy hair, so hair pulling may be a big thing for them. They may also think that post-sex hair is attractive.
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑉𝑖𝑟𝑔𝑜:
Lilith in Virgo knows what they want and knows how to get it;
These individuals are perfectionists to the extreme and this characteristic can be reflected in their romantic relationships, manifesting as control issues and over-the-top standards;
Undeveloped Virgo Lilith may have a tendency to suppress their sexual energy and some of them might be impotent or just unable to perform sex due to the fear of failure of sex;
Lilith in Virgo is a very problematic placement as Lilith is a sign that represents functionality and balance and Lilith is a provocative, empowering asteroid - the two energies conflict;
These natives are strategic and cunning. They like to move in silence, which keeps people guessing and gives them a mysterious look;
Virgo Lilith desires someone intelligent and communicative, with whom they can have logical continuous conversations. They are also attractive to people who, just like them, are healthy and hygienic;
Developed Virgo Lilith is the definition of "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets";
This is a placement that's willing to experiment in bed, not having a definitive list of kinks or turn-ons;
This is a very careful and clean placement when it comes to sex, prioritizing health, by utilizing birth control, getting tested regularly, and being sexually selective. These people tend to love shower sex, fantasizing about showering with their partner.
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑖𝑏𝑟𝑎:
Lilith in Libra embodies the struggle between being the perfect, mysterious, and independent individual, as they are very charming and elegant, or the perfect partner;
This placement looks for a perfectly beautiful partner and they tend to try to look flawless as well;
An undeveloped Libra Lilith may ridicule people who are not beautiful in their eyes;
Lilith in Libra fears loneliness so they would go to any level to make peace with their partner to avoid loneliness, most of the times blaming themselves in order to put an end to any potential disagreement;
Lilith in Libra tends to be shallow in the choice of the people around them, tending to choose elite, sophisticated, and refined people as their friends. They tend to judge people by how they seem on a superficial level or by what they have;
These people tend to avoid making hard decisions and most of the time avoid making them, pushing them onto their close ones, so they'll make those choices instead;
They like the chase and they are good at flirting, using flirtatious touches, longing gazes, and seductive words. Nothing makes them happier than winning over the unwinnable;
Libra rules the skin, butt, and lower back, these may all be a sexual focus - they may even have sexual fantasies about spanking, anal sex, and/or anal play. They tend to have attractive butts and/or be attracted to people with attractive butts;
They can also be attracted to people with beautiful skin (blemish-free and/or even-toned skin)
Touches on the butt or lower back may be a way of flirting to these individuals;
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑆𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑝𝑖𝑜:
Lilith in Scorpio is magnetic, powerful, and intense, but highly secretive;
This is a very experimental placement, which is open to kinky sex, toys, taboo topics, and fetishizing themes in sex;
Their sexuality is very apparent and other people may have an overly sexual image of these natives.
They may have had other people interested in them purely based on sex because their sexual energy is a lot of times the first thing others notice; These individuals may have felt objectified most of their lives because of the common unjustified sexual interest coming from strangers;
These natives' feelings are either very intense or not at all - it's all or nothing for them, and when an undeveloped scorpio lilith feels it all, it may manifest in aggression, jealousy, obsession, control, and power;
To these natives sex may be an overwhelming experience because of the emotional bond that comes with it;
Scorpio is associated with the concept of power and control; In relationships, these natives can become controlling - they like to be on top, and in control; This also applies to sex (most scorpio Liliths like to be on top)
To these individuals life can be very much compared to a game - everything is about power;
Undeveloped Scorpio Liliths can find their most significant enemy in their own obsessive and jealous tendencies, these two can be quite the monster to deal with;
Scorpio rules the genitalia and the reproductive and excretory systems, so these natives may be drawn to the size and girth of sexual organs; Also, they may have an impregnation, breeding, or excretory kink.
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑆𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑢𝑠:
Lilith in Sagittarius seeks abundance and luxury - they want it all and they want it big, be it the most exotic vacation destiny or the wildest party
They are born entertainers and they don't mind having all eyes on them; It's extremely hard to get these individuals to feel somewhat shy or embarrassed;
Sagittarius Liliths cannot deal with small, mundane, day-to-day experiences. Sagittarius is a placement that is known for the tendency to experiment, so lilith in this sign may lead to an excessive level of hedonism and to overindulging in "experiencing" without a limit;
Being open to new experiences, new food, new countries, and new people, these placement tends to attract dangerous people;
Being the epitome of a 'bon vivant', these people cannot handle it when other peoples' feelings get too deep or when others get upset with them, tending to ignore the issue, run away or get angry about it;
Nonetheless, Sagittarius Lilith is a fighter - they will be the first one to stand up for causes like gender equality and animal cruelty; Theoretically, they have the best philosophies and they stick to them - their biggest fear is meaninglessness;
This is the placement most likely to question the existential meaning of life and the paranormal world;
This is a highly promiscuous placement too, being too impulsive, brash, and bold when it comes to sex; This can manifest in them having multiple sexual partners or numerous wild sexual experiences;
Since Sagittarius rules the hips and legs, these individuals may like to highlight their legs with heels, thigh-high boots, fishnets, or garters, or they may like it when their partners wear these types of items;
This placement may also be curvier or be attracted to curvier people;
Due to the adventurous Sagittarius nature, lilith in Sagittarius may like to have sex in public settings - the idea of getting caught may be a turn-on.
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐶𝑎𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑛:
Lilith in Capricorn has a thirst for big achievements, success, and social status - they exude domineering energy
These natives may even become obsessed with the idea of power, feeling attracted to powerful people without really knowing who they are - they may fantasize about being part of a power couple
These natives understand the way the 3D world works perfectly and that's why they thrive while maneuvering in it - they know how to go where they want to go;
Capricorn is the archetype of 'the boss' so they may have a tendency to try and control everything and everyone around them and they may have a hard time understanding that you cannot just control people if you're not their superior in a professional environment;
This is a highly sensual placement, having a lot of sexual energy - even though they mask it very well; Their sexual energy is not provocative or over-the-top, it's rather sly and smooth;
Capricorn Liliths may be attracted to older or more mature people; They may also desire someone who’s in a position of power/control, or have a status about them
It's fairly common for these natives to have fantasies such as office sex, sex with their boss, using sex to gain notoriety in their professional environment, having sex with a highly prominent figure, or gaining the upper hand in a certain situation through sex;
They may also dream of living a secret office love affair;
Capricorn rules the teeth, joints, and skeletal system, so the idea of flexibility may be a turn-on for these individuals;
There may also be kinks such as bondage, being tied up, or bending the body in difficult positions;
These natives may like receiving and giving hickeys and bites;
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝐴𝑞𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑢𝑠:
Lilith in Aquarius is the visionary rebel and anything conventional bores them;
Their most valuable asset is their freedom and they use it to always do things their way, which can lead to them feeling like an outsider more often than not (a developed and empowered aquarius lilith will feel at home anywhere tho);
These individuals may tend to try and fit into already formed groups, but most often than not they will not be accepted and this may lead them to feel ashamed of their own characteristics;
Later on in their life, these individuals tend to find other people that will accept them and be as alien-like as them - they tend to become wildly unapologetic of their own uniqueness;
This placement is the embodiment of the quote 'my way or the highway' - they can be quite stubborn;
When it comes to sex, aquarius lilith is just as adventurous and liberal as Sagittarius or scorpio lilith - they are not afraid to explore out-of-the-box sexual fantasies or get freaky, on the other hand, they are utterly comfortable just exploring their own sexuality in its quirky, atypical kinks and fantasies;
There won't be one single sexual fantasy for these individuals, they are willing to try anything and everything their partner wants to try; there will be a whole bunch of different stuff that excites them;
The difference between sag and aqua lilith is that aquarius lilith likes to get freaky, but preferably with a long-standing sexual partner where there’s trust and history involved;
Since Aquarius rules the ankles and the calves, Aquarius Lilith may take a lot of pride in showing off its legs or maybe heavily attracted to someone with defined legs.
𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑃𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑠:
Lilith in Pisces is the escapist daydreamer - they prefer a fantasy world to a real one;
These individuals want to be surrounded by beauty and they may try to escape the harshness of the real world through daydreams and an idealist and utopian mentality;
This placement has a hard time dealing with accountability so they may struggle with escapist tendencies such as excessive partying, excessive spending, excessive promiscuity, self-sabotaging, and even engaging in substance abuse;
Undeveloped pisces liliths are prone to addiction and may have a tendency to indulge in toxic substances like drugs to isolate themselves from the cruelness of the real world; There may also be a tendency to develop depressive habits (therapy is recommended for this placement);
A developed pisces lilith may develop into a healer, a poet, an empath, or an artist of some sort;
These individuals belong to the aesthetic of a coming-of-age movie and they tend to turn the simplest of things into dramatic experiences;
In sex, pisces lilith wants romance;
These individuals may idealize sexual experiences, turning sex into a tricky subject for them - nothing is perfect but pisces lilith will idealize everything from their sexual partners to their sexual escapades and relationships, giving sex an excessively unrealistic image in their own minds;
Pisces rules the feet and body fat so pisces lilith may have a foot fetish or be attracted to someone with a fuller curvier figure;
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tainsan · 10 months
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misfits (college!ateez x reader)
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When your world comes crashing down, the only people who are able to comfort you are the notorious group, Ateez. You’ve heard rumour after rumour about the eight males who are ice cold, yet for some reason, they are the warmest people you know.
Please read me: {hello! so finally i have wrote enough for me to release the first chapter and i really hope it is good enough for the lovely people who have been patiently waiting. there will be more chapters to come in the future so please do look forward to them! just so you all know there is a few trigger warnings i have to go through so just in case you are uncomfortable with certain subjects to read with caution and with your own comfort in mind. at the start of every chapter i will put the warnings that correlate with the said chapter. in this story there are topics of swearing, depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicide, negelection and mental abuse. so if you are not comfortable reading these please either avoid this story or read with extreme caution. your wellbeing is more important than anything. 
Now like i said in my previous post, this is going to be a poly!ateez story so hence there will be future smut and suggestive themes (which i will also put in the warnings before the chapter starts) but the message in the story is very much about past trauma and finding people who can help, heal and love you despite your imperfections.
With that all said! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of ‘Misfits’ and thank you kindly for waiting. 
do not steal my work or repost on places other than tumblr. 
with thanks to @musicdork and @moraxology for the help and ideas shared with me. thank you <3
-----THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-----
Misfits, Chapter 1
⇢ masterlist ⇠ 
⇢ next chapter
warnings: anxiety attack, swearing, mentions of a house fire.
word count: 8.8k
Heart dropping to your stomach, you attempt to make sense of the words that are displayed on the small illuminating screen sat in front of you. Devastation hits you like a ton of bricks as you realise once again, it feels like the world is trying to punish you. Reading over the email once again, you let out an exasperated groan and let your head fall down onto your arms relaxing on the table.
“You’re homeless?” Your best friend almost screeches, scanning over the email present on your small laptop screen. 
“Okay a little louder Jisung and the aliens on the Saturn will fucking hear you,” You react, your voice muffled by your clothes.
“What happened? I thought your place was in one of the nicer areas?” 
Looking up from the desk, you see Jisung peering at you with a concerned expression.
“Do you remember those new tenants that moved in below me?” you ask, causing Jisung to nod his head, "Well they accidentally started a fire, and it burnt down half of the place because the owners weren’t smart enough to install fire hydrants around the residence.
“Isn’t it illegal to not have designated fire hydrants in a building?” 
“Probably, I mean that’s what I get for going for the cheapest available housing I could find, they say it's going to take at least a year to repair the damage.”
"Are all of your belongings okay?" 
"Not really, I managed to save most things like my books and some clothes but everything else is burnt. They say they are going to give me some money back for the damage, but I doubt it’ll be much."
"Then where are you staying now?"
"Yeji said I could stay with her for a few days, but she has a roommate moving in soon, so I have to get out before the end of this week."
"You have to start looking for a place to live __, I wish I could help you," 
Jisung lives with his boyfriend and friends in great student accommodation, there are only four rooms, yet they manage to fit eight grown men in there. Sadly, there's simply not enough space for another person.
“I’m aware of that, but all the school properties are full, and I’ve seen no flyers from people searching for roommates. There’s no way I'm looking for housing outside of the area, I would have to sell both my kidneys to afford a month's worth of rent. This apartment was the only place that was in my budget if I didn't want a roommate. At this point, I should probably start looking for a nice cosy bridge to live under.” 
Jisung lets out a stifled laugh before quickly covering his mouth realising the two of you are residing in a library. Being in a secluded area, noise isn’t really a problem, yet three other people are sitting near you, resting on the opposite side of the large wooden table. Two huddled next to each other, sharing a laptop, likely watching YouTube and one with striking blonde hair resting his head on his arms, undoubtedly sleeping.
“How many days until you have to move out?” Jisung inquires, laying his head on his hand and gazing at you. 
“Uh, I think like a week,” 
“Oh, so it’s not like you have to move out right now,” your best friend replies, a calm smile covering his features.
“Yeah, but I doubt that somebody is abruptly going to need a roommate out of nowhere,” 
Then, you hear rustling, then suddenly the guy who was sleeping on your table abruptly stands up, grabs his things, and rushes out of the library. 
“Probably had a nightmare or something,” Jisung chuckles, lighting up your mood.
“When’s your next lesson?” You ask, hoping he doesn't have to leave too soon. 
Observing as Jisung whips out his phone and looks at the time, he lets out a sigh.
“Starts in seven minutes, it takes like five minutes to walk there. I better get going,” Jisung replies, grabbing his books and laptop.
“Must you leave so soon? You can’t leave me here to tutor for three hours straight.” You let out a fake cry and hang onto his arm, pleading for him to stay. 
“You're the one who wanted the extra credit, don't blame me!” 
Bickering for a minute more, you eventually let Jisung get to his class, the two others across the table departing as well, leaving you alone.
Grumbling to yourself, you wonder why you even offered to tutor people, the extra credit is little to nothing. Alas, it’s too late to back out now as you have two people arriving soon. Typically, you only take people who you know personally, but Jisung’s boyfriend, Minho, said two of his classmates requested him to ask you to tutor, telling him they really needed assistance in maths. You hope they are pleasant because you are not about to be spending the next three hours with two arseholes.
You also typically only take one person at a time but due to your current tight schedule, you decided to just do two at once. You need the time later to look for new places to live anyway. The unknown two needed teaching in the same subject at least, works out fine.
Returning to your laptop you start typing, trying to finish as much of your lab report as you can before they show up.
“No Yeosang said she was around this corner.” 
A hushed voice breaks you out of your concentration, yet you pay no interest and hurriedly get back to typing.
“You’re __ right?” A monotone voice speaks out from your left.
You turn upon hearing your name and see a guy standing next to where you are sitting. Quickly you scan over his face, noticing the way his cheeks display small dimples as his face shifts and the slit in one of his eyebrows.
“I’m San, Minho told you about us, right?” 
Noting the way he said ‘us’, you turn fully backwards and see a noticeably built man standing by San, his face holding little to no emotion as he stares blankly towards you. In your mind, you hope these aren’t the two you are tutoring, noticing how intimidating their presence is.
“We are here for tutoring lessons,” the unnamed person speaks, and you curse upon your luck.
“Oh right, you can take a seat where you’d like.”
You mentally cuss out Minho for not informing you about how intense and handsome his classmates were, you let out a scoff under your breath as you start to pull out your maths textbooks.
“So, what were your guy's names, I’m not too good with names so if I forget, please don't take it personally,” you shyly confess, hoping they are not going to take it the wrong way. You detect the way some sort of stunned expression goes across their faces, but it disappears as soon as it had appeared.
“I’m Choi San, good to meet you.” San nods in your direction, his emotions still unreadable, a subtle glare still present along his features.
“San, I see. You too,” You mumble, slightly scared by his strong character. You attempt a small smile and shake his hand, trying to ignore the way you feel his eyes boring into your skull. Moving your attention to the man sitting next to him, you smile gently, noticing the way his cheeks are dusted with a light pink colour.
“Choi Jongho,” He reaches out his hand and you gladly take it, feeling slightly less intimidated by the seemingly kinder man.
Replying with your own name, you realise they already knew it, making you curse yourself for the sheer awkwardness emitting from your body as you notice Jongho and San are neither looking at you.
Slightly glancing up at you, San notices your flustered state and a faint smile ghosts his face.
Shaking off your clumsiness rapidly, you start to focus on the task at hand.
“So, what are you two looking to go over today?” you ask, opening your notebook that was conveniently placed in front of you. What you don’t expect is Jongho and San immediately look at each other with wide eyes, almost as if they are taken aback by the question.
“You guys don’t know what you want to go over?” 
“No, sorry, we have been having problems with our two recent algebra assignments.” Jongho replies, his tough exterior cracking ever so slightly as he ruffles his black hair. 
“Okay then,” you answer, a little puzzled at the two's sudden and strange gestures, yet you pay no mind to it as you reach into your backpack to grab your mathematics textbook. You’ve seen much stranger things in this college anyway.
When you proceed with the session you are surprised by the two men sitting in front of you. Although being very intimidating, the two are very good listeners and attentive to everything you say or do. Writing notes and nodding at almost every word you say. After an extensive explanation, you let Jongho and San try to solve a practice question. During this time, you take the time to admire the two in front of you. You can see they are extremely close by the way their bodies face each other naturally, and the way they look at each other. Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder why you haven't seen them on campus before. Certainly, you would've heard or seen something about these two very good-looking men, knowing how much the people here like to gossip. Well after all, you have never been one for gossip and fangirling over the popular campus heartthrobs. Brushing your thoughts to the side, you start to read over the same page for the fifth time.
After the second hour, it intrigues you how smart they are, only needing you to once go over something and they already have the answer or even occasionally you swear you see one of them write an answer without you describing how to find it. Perhaps they are fast learners? Due to the fact, they are so quick, it only takes two of the three hours for you to cover everything they wished to go over, and their assignments are almost finished, just needing the final touches.
"There we go,” you exclaim, stretching your arms over your head, letting out a content groan as you let your back straighten up, "if you need future help, you can always call me." Even though it’s perhaps pretentious to offer this to such tough guys, you’re happy to be able to have such good students who actually listen. Unlike your last session which you spent way too many hours on.
Jongho looks up from his laptop with a wide eye look, "that’d be helpful," 
"Can you take my number?" San holds his hand open, expecting your phone and you are shocked at his utter forwardness. Even though you know it’s not intended in a flirtatious way, your heart quickens at the gesture, never having been asked for your number before. 
Passing your phone to the male in front of you, you notice San observing the Sanrio stickers stuck to the back of it. The male lets out a short burst of air through his nose, and you don’t know whether he’s mocking you or scoffing. As you look at him to analyse his reaction, you see a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but it doesn’t seem in a taunting way. You continue staring at him as he puts his number into your phone.
Unexpectedly he looks up and straight into your investigating eyes, catching you by surprise, immediately looking away from him and at the open book in front of you pretending to read it, even though you know he knows you have already read over the page multiple times in the past ten minutes.
“Wait, what time is it?" Jongho asks San. Watching San pull out his phone, you see a glimpse of his phone case, it looks something like a character, but you can’t see it as he places his phone face up on the table.
"Quarter to twelve," San responds, his phone screen lighting up for a split second, you manage to catch a quick sight of his lock screen. It appears to be a group photo, with numerous faces smiling brightly at the camera. So, they have more friends.
"We have about thirty minutes till ecology, do you want to go to the canteen?" Jongho questions as he begins to put his belongings into his bag. 
"I could use a snack,” San answers, stretching back into the chair, his arms above his head just as you did earlier.
"Coming with us?" Jongho asks as he stands up from his chair and pushes it back beneath the table.
Bewildered by the question, you wonder as to why they want you to come when they have been nothing but distant this entire time. Glancing back at your unfinished lab report displayed on your laptop, you feel conflicted. Yet a break from the tedious work would be rather nice. There's no harm in pulling another all-nighter.
"I could also do with something to eat," Your smile is bright as you stuff your laptop into your bag, happy to have a reason to escape the tedious work on the small screen of your laptop. 
It is a rather fast walk to the canteen; it is conveniently on the same wing as the library. Expecting the canteen to be full to the brim of students getting lunch, you’re surprised to see the canteen completely empty. You are rather pleased with the serenity of the canteen, feeling at ease that there are no judging eyes watching your every move. Pacing over to the cooled section of food, your footsteps echo in the large room, then you notice San and Jongho trailing after you, looking quite lost. 
"Have you guys never been to the canteen before or something?" You inquire, chuckling at their antics before grabbing a carton of banana milk and an apple.
"It's not particularly our scene, we eat our meals at our place." San answers, staring down at the banana milk in your hand. So, they live together, it makes sense seeing how close they are.
“You guys don't live in student buildings?” You question, that does explain why you've never seen them around, knowing most people who reside in the student dorms. You resume walking towards a table to sit, you grab two more banana milk before sitting down and popping a straw into your drink.
"No, we live near the new park, Eastwood Drive," Jongho replies.
This information almost makes you spit out your drink. Eastwood is not only part of a huge real estate area but one of the richest areas near our school. Absolutely no students would be able to afford that. It's an area full of houses like mansions or condos bigger than a regular house.
"Are you okay?" Jongho asks, hurriedly rushing to your side and patting your back, San chuckles at the scene and passes you a bottle of water from his seat. 
"Yes, I'm fine," You say between coughs, "thank you," you take a gulp of water from the bottle before handing it back to him.
"Sorry it's just, how on earth do you afford that house there's no way you guys just have it. Did you have to sell your soul to the devil or something?" 
Both males let out soft laughs and for the first time you see something other than scowls on their faces, instead replaced by gentle amusement.
"No, we didn't, one of our roommates' mothers is the owner of the real estate and she lets us live there," San answers your question.
"We do still have to pay rent, which is above average, but it's not anything like the rent we would have to pay if we were actually living there," Jongho adds, "plus we have quite a few roommates, so it's spread out pretty evenly." So, they have multiple roommates.
"I see," you hum as you let the information in. Of course, they have several roommates, the house is big enough for ten people, most likely. 
"And you?" Jongho questions looking at you. His expression is back to his resting face, until he realises his question, eyes going wide he continues, “not in a creepy, I'm sorry please don't take it the wrong way!" he rambles on. 
Laughing out, you wave your hands in a friendly way to dismiss his thoughts.
"No no, it's okay," you chuckle, not really sure how to explain to them that your house was recently made into a fresh stock of charcoal.
“It's kind of complicated I'll be honest," you start, San and Jongho’s expressions twitch in curiosity, "Well I was living at Coast Lane," 
"Oh, the one near the shopping centre?" Jongho inquires. You nod your head back in confirmation.
"Wait but wasn't that place burnt down a few days ago?" San asks, looking at Jongho and then back at you with a worried look. Their hearts fill with worry for you.
"Yep," you say, popping the p at the end, "that's why I said I was living," you say looking down, chucking dryly.
"Where are you living now then?" San asks, his voice laced with something similar to worry. 
"I'm staying at a friend's house, but they are getting a new roommate at the end of this week, so I need to move out by then." 
"Have you found anywhere to live yet?" Jongho questions, looking sorrowful. You are surprised by the amount of worry you suddenly feel from San and Jongho. However, you shake your head as 'no' and proceed to take another sip of your drink. 
"I have an idea." San abruptly says standing up from his chair, catching your and Jongho's attention, "Excuse me I have to talk to someone, Jongho. Joong." 
Jongho's eyes light up with some sort of awareness and he also rapidly stands from his chair, leaving you even more confused, unsure where the sudden energy comes from, you also wonder who the fuck 'Joong' is and why do they need to see him so suddenly. 
"See you soon, __.” Jongho’s smile is warm and contagious, he then turns to leave with the taller man.
"Wait, guys!” You exclaim, "here," you hand them both a cartoon of banana milk that you grabbed earlier. "Drink these, you can't focus if you're dehydrated, " you say, heat rising up from your chest. 
Both of the men look at you shocked at the kind gesture, surprised someone actually cares about their well-being. Giving you a thank you, the two men leave with red subtly covering their cheeks, both trying to immediately force it away before someone sees them with a giddy expression.
 ----
"Then they just stood up and left," You replay the events from earlier today to Jisung, who is sipping on a mojito. After the busy day you both shared, Jisung and you decided to go to a bar that recently opened not too far from campus. It is small and cosy, not too full of people, mostly students from your school rewinding from the day, just like you.
"Psycho behaviour," Jisung jokes whilst you take a sip of your drink. Laughing, you push Jisung's arm gently.
"I don't know, they were certainly intimidating but I could tell they were okay people," you exclaim truthfully. If you said that the three hours you spent with the two weren't pleasant you’d be lying.
"Do you have a crush on them or something?" Jisung inquires, rather loudly, getting far too excited. Hoping that no one heard him through the low jazz music resounding in the small bar, you quieten down your best friend quickly by covering his mouth with your free hand.
"Ji the entire bar does not need to know about my personal endeavours, and no I do not have a crush on them, they are just simply cute," you say exasperated.
“So, you do find them cute! The last time you had a crush as back in high school, this is big news,”
“There is no news dumbass, they are just cute. I find kittens cute, and I don’t want to date them.”
Jisung’s face contorts into a mixture of disgust and humour.
"Wait, what are their names?" Jisung questions his voice back to a reasonable volume.
"Choi San and Choi Jongho, I've never even heard of them, to be honest. You'd think I would've seen these handsome men bef, what is with that look on your face?" you stop your ramble as you see the very obviously shocked look on Jisung's face. 
"Are you fucking serious?" Jisung says slowly.
Confused, you simply answer, "yeah they needed help with maths. it was your boyfriend who set the tutor session up."
"Yeah, because they probably threatened him?" Jisung says tensing up.
"What do you mean threatened, they were huge sweethearts," you say amused at Jisung. Your laughing momentarily halts when you see the serious look on Jisung's small face.
"What is it?" 
"___, Choi San and Choi Jongho are part of that group." 
Your baffled expression remains on your features, clearly unfazed by this information.
"What is that like a cult or something?" you joke.
"Girl, are you living under a fucking rock? Ateez, the group called Ateez. The super scary ones practically haunt this school. I'm surprised they talked to Minho. I'm pretty sure he's going to be scarred now."
Slowly but surely, your brain starts to put things into place.
"Wait, that group Sola told us about?”
As Jisung confirms your question, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck rise. A few months ago, you had been told by some classmates about them briefly, they were talking rather loudly about them. Apparently, they had done some terrible things when they were in high school then just disappeared for a few years. Most people thought they dropped out or moved abroad. The year they returned, they started this university out of nowhere together and have been a notorious group ever since, being known for staying foul and bitter towards everyone except themselves. Yet, nobody seems to know the reason for their ice-cold hearts. You never really bothered to keep up with the rumours or gossip, it wasn’t necessary for you to know, however you start to think maybe you should pay more attention due to your recent interaction with two of the people in the group.
"But they were nice?" your question, more to yourself than to Jisung.
"I don't know about you, but you probably got the wrong people." 
You don't believe Jisung is lying but at the same time… The two men you had tutored earlier today were definitely not members of the notorious group. 
Surely not. 
Yes, they were intimidating, but nowhere near as bad as anything people say about them. From what you've heard about the group, they are cold, heartless, selfish, and miserable. Staying only in the group of eight, others not even daring to look them in the eyes as they pass them.
"If they were the people that you were tutoring yesterday, you may have gotten yourself into something you can't get out of. They have hundreds of fangirls, who are very possessive over them and people who want them dead. I don’t know of a single person who is fond of them. It’s best if you stay far away from them." Jisung says with a nervous expression. 
Unexpectedly, his phone lights up and you see Minho's caller ID appear. Jisung glances back up at you with a questioning look, requesting if he can take it.
"Go ahead," you push your smile and watch as he leaves to find a quiet place.
Your heart beats heavily against your chest and you feel your throat tighten. ‘Come on’ you think, this isn't the best place for you to have an anxiety attack. Possibly, it's that the new information is far too overwhelming. You are barely keeping up with your classes, your apartment just burnt down, and now you’re somewhat engaged with an apparently dangerous group that has no good stories. Feeling your breathing getting jagged and your heart getting heavier by the second, you attempt to focus on your breathing. Trying to remember the breathing exercises your mother taught you when you were younger, you attempt breathing in deeply, but it doesn't work, leaving you to breathe in and out in a fast manner. It's okay, it's okay. You repeat yourself, in an attempt to comfort yourself, but your brain is yelling 'it's not okay, look how stupid you've been and got yourself into a senseless situation again. Fucking idiot'. You put your head in your hands and start gently rocking on the barstool, tears threatening to fall out of your eyes. Unexpectedly, a presence appears next to you and before you know it, their warm hand is rubbing up and down your back in a soothing manner. 
"Shh it's okay, it's all going to be okay." a deep voice speaks from your right. You don't care to look up, only basking in the way the figure's hand caresses your back in a comforting way. To your surprise, it works miracles. Your breathing is back to a reasonable state within the next minute. Only then do you look up from your hands, your eyes lock with a beautiful man. He wears a comforting smile, his eyes full of sympathy and something else you can't quite put your finger on, his hand not slowing on your back. Trying to smile back at him, you wipe the tears you didn't even know had fallen, with the sleeves of your sweatshirt before regaining the words to speak.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," you say, abruptly embarrassed that a very handsome man just had to see a small breakdown of yours. 
"It's perfectly okay. I've had enough anxiety attacks to know you can't control where you have them." the man admits, scratching the back of his neck with an awkward smile on his face. The voice of the man is deep, yet soft, making you feel awfully relaxed.
"You have anxiety?" you ask, sniffling your nose.
The man chuckles and looks down at his hands, "longer than I can remember, yeah," he looks back up at you, "rubbing my back is how my friends comfort me, so I hope it somewhat worked for you too." 
"It worked amazingly, it's actually how my mother used to comfort me," you express, still slightly ashamed to be sharing this information with a stranger, let alone such a good-looking one. Yet knowing he goes through the same things as you, comforts you more than you realise. The male looks around him, almost as if he’s worried someone will see him, he then looks back down to your smaller figure which is closer to him than he remembered. Clearing his throat, he steps away a little bit, concerned you would feel uncomfortable with the closeness of your bodies. 
“I do need to go now, but it was nice to meet you," The man says whilst leaving the barstool to your right. Not sure why, but you feel sad that he has to leave so soon. Feeling so relaxed around a stranger has you shocked, wishing you could stay with this unknown feeling.
"Thank you," you say, grateful to have him there for you.
"Anytime.”
"I’ll see you around." You return his smile.
Nodding his head, he gives one last smile before departing the bar's exit, a growing smile adorning his features as he exits the bar.
“Hey I’m back.”
Whipping your head to the left, you see Jisung sitting back in his stool. Opening your mouth to tell him about what just happened, you attempt to get the words out but for some reason, you are unable to find the words. Not wanting to worry your best friend with your sudden onset anxiety attack, you decide to stay quiet.
What are these unexplainable encounters you've been having with handsome men recently?
----
Climbing over bags and coats, you find a seat in a calmer area of the stadium you just arrived at. Spotting Minho in the field doing some warm-ups with his team, you feel relaxed to see someone you know. When he sees you, he waves happily. Smiling, you reach for your phone to quickly text Jisung asking where he is. All of a sudden, a rush of cold air gets swept in by the wind, causing you to freeze up. Never liking the cold, you debate heavily at this moment whether you should just leave. However, you travelled all the way from Yeji’s to here in the cold. It seems like a waste to just go back, even if it freezes you to death to stay. After all, you need to support Minho, him being one of your only friends, for the football game. Jisung is supposed to be joining you but you’re sure he's busy picking out a cute outfit to swoon Minho. 
Over the past few days Jisung has been trying to teach you the names of Ateez so you know to run if they approach you. Seemingly stupid, but you do need fewer distractions in the hope to graduate with honours. From what Jisung has told you, there are eight members, and they are all of similar age, the youngest being in the same classes as he managed to skip a year due to him exceeding the level of people his age. However, Jisung teaching you their names doesn’t really stick to you, never being good at names it doesn’t help that you don’t know what they look like. It would be much easier learning their names if you actually had photos so you can put a name to a face, but of course they don’t have Instagram accounts, and if they saw people taking photos of them, they’d likely murder you on the spot. Or that’s what Jisung says.
You are suddenly brought out of your thoughts when a voice sounds in your ears.
“Could I sit here?” a soft, yet deep captivating voice speaks out. 
Curiously, you look to your left to see who the owner of the voice is. Surprisingly, you see a blonde male with a mask covering his face. He is standing next to the seat where you have placed your bag, and you realise he is asking for the seat.
“Oh yes, of course, sorry,” you hurriedly grab your bag and place it between your legs, allowing the male to take a place next to you.
“Thank you,” he says, a very small smile on his lips. When he sits down, he takes off his mask, and you glance at him one more time, taking in his visuals. With his fluffy hair and red tinted cheeks and a small mark of pink next to one of his eyes, he is truly a work of art. Yet, for some reason, you can't help but feel like you've seen him before.
“I'm sorry have I met you before, you seem really familiar?” you ask inquisitively, not being able to match a name to a face.
“We may have run into each other once or twice,” the blonde male puts his hand out for a handshake.
Gladly taking his hand in yours, you shake with a small smile on your face.
“It is a small world, I'm __.” 
The male takes his hand away and back into his coat pocket, shivering in the icy air.
“Are you Jisung's girlfriend?” he questions.
Rolling your eyes, slightly annoyed at the question, you go to answer. It has been thousands of times that people have asked about your and Jisung's relationship, mistaking you for a couple and not just a couple of friends. After a while it gets rather irritating, the question being asked countless amounts of times.
"No, we aren't, we are just best friends, I'm pretty sure Jisung came out as gay like two years ago. Plus, he's literally dating the quarterback, Lee Minho." you chuckle slightly.
"Oh sorry! I didn't mean to offend you in any way." 
"No! It's really okay, it's just I get asked a lot, so it becomes annoying after a while. I mean look at Jisung, he has baby girl written all over him." 
“Cold?” he questions.
The blondie next to you lets out a small chuckle acknowledging the man you are always with isn’t your boyfriend.
Sensing a gaze on you, you turn back to the blonde male whose eyes are looking at the goosebumps on your exposed arms.
“I probably should’ve brought at least a jumper. I've been so wrapped up with exams and tutoring I’ve been forgetting everything,” you say, laughing slightly, embarrassed that you went outside wearing just a t-shirt in the middle of November.
The male lets out a laugh before speaking, “it’s okay, I understand. If I’m being honest, I've also been having so much struggle with studying, my stress is all over the place.” He wonders for a second why he even shared this with you, concerned for a second you will see him in a bad light.
“I'm sorry to hear that.” you contemplate for a moment, “Look I have these if you want,” reaching into your pocket, you grab some rescue drops. “These help me a lot,”
You place the small bottle in his hand, and a giant smile covers his face. “What? I’ve actually been looking for these everywhere and I can never find them! They’ve been sold out in every shop.” Blondie looks back up at you, “but you have anxiety you need these more than me,” 
Pausing for a second, you wonder how he knows you have anxiety, nonetheless, you continue “It’s perfectly fine, Jisung’s parents work at a pharmacy back in my hometown and they send me a few of these whenever they are in stock, you can keep them.” you inform him, his smile brightening your cold mood shockingly fast. You’re not even sure why you gave him them, it was your last bottle. You guess that’s what happens when you are a people pleaser. The smile on the male’s face only grows wider, his heart jumping at your kind action.
“Thank you so much __,”
“It’s no worries, if you ever need some more, look for the loud group of small guys acting like four-year-olds.” you laugh, and he chuckles along with you, making a mental note, even though he knows he will likely never approach the group.
Before you can focus back on the starting game, you feel a soft material cover your shivering body. It is a large zip-up that smells of rich, sweet perfume. Turning quickly to the blonde guy with confusion covering your features, you hurriedly dismiss the action, seeing his arms exposed to the winter air.
“I can’t take this; you’ll get too cold.” you stop your words as he pulls out another sweater from his bag. 
“I've got my friend’s sweater, you keep mine until you’re warm.” he turns to face the game, "or until Jisung sees and freaks out and tells everyone you have a secret boyfriend." he jokes.
“You seem to know Jisung?” you ask, wondering how he knows Jisung’s personality quite well.
“Well, we know each other, but we aren’t particularly friends,” blondie turns fully towards you, “are you sure you don’t know me at all?”
“I'm sorry but I really only have like two friends, I don't really go out.” 
“But Jisung is super popular, aren't you in his huge partying friend group?”
“Not really, his friends are lovely but I’m only close with him and his boyfriend, I'm not too good at making friends.” you quietly mumble the last part. You look over at the blondie and see he has slight confusion on his face.
“You are so kind, I’m sure anyone would want to be your friend." 
"You’d be the first to think that" you dryly admit, which causes the male to feel a twinge of pain and guilt in his heart, "I would rather stay inside all-day binge-watching television whilst eating away my stress,"
"Well, that’s one thing we have in common." 
Sharing a warm smile with him, you start to get lost in your thoughts again, but then you realise a question you never returned.
“I’m so sorry I never got your name.”
“No worries, I’m Yeosang.” he has the same smile on his face, making you feel warm despite the bitter winter air. Then his familiarity dawns on you.
“Kang?” you inquire, your voice rising ever so slightly.
“That’s me,” he smiles at me, and you don't know if your heart rises because of how beautiful his smile is or because you recognise the name from Jisung’s teaching session with the members of Ateez.
“Like from Ateez,” you question, watching your words, if Ateez is as bad as Jisung is saying then you definitely need to watch your words.
Yeosang turns to you, almost looking baffled.
“I thought you didn't know about Ateez?” he questions, shocked.
“What made you think that?”
“Just a guess I suppose, being that you don't really go out I assumed you weren’t really interested in the groups and stuff.” 
“Ah well not particularly, but recently I suppose I’ve gotten to know about it better.”
“You're not scared, are you?” you see Yeosang tense up a little, his eyebrows furrowed. He hopes for the best, not knowing how you will react. Surprisingly, your heart softens at this question, he seems upset for some reason, as if he doesn't want to be seen this way. You feel bad for ever acting stressed towards him.
“Don't worry, the only person that scares me is Jisung when he's hungry.” you joke out, relaxing the tension and calming him. From what you can see, Yeosang is just kind and calm. The only thing that's menacing about him is the fact he’s drop-dead gorgeous.
Yeosang lets out a small chuckle, “well I guess now I know I need to avoid Jisung if he’s hungry,”
You agree with the blonde man, whilst lightly laughing.
“Wait, but why are you watching? Aren’t you supposed to be on the pitch?” You ask him, confused, remembering Jisung informing you that Yeosang is a part of one of the school's football teams, along with someone else whose name you can’t remember at the moment. For a moment Yeosang’s chest fills with pride, knowing you know something about him.
“Someone is taking my spot today, I was told to analyse the opposing team to find out their habits and stuff, hence the notepad.”
Looking down, you notice the small notepad with doodles all over the cover, making your heart swell. Yeosang continues to talk,
“Don’t tell my tactics to Minho,” he jokes with a grin on his face, knowing Minho is on the other team.
“I would never betray you like that,” you place your hand over your chest acting offended. 
Both cracking up, you speak up again, “don't worry, your secrets are safe with me.”
“Sang!” You hear a voice call from the left, and your eyes lay on another attractive man, “Coach told us to sit with him,” this male also has a notepad in his grip. 
You know this guy. He works in a small café not too far from campus, it is down a narrow alleyway, covered by vines and moss. It was a very hidden spot and only locals really knew the place. Only knowing it because you walked past it every day for a year as the alleyway was a shortcut to your housing from the campus. Barely anyone goes there, the regulars being either old women or businesspeople quickly rushing in to get a coffee before work starts. Back at the beginning of the semester, you used to go to the café a lot because of the raspberry muffins, yet they stopped selling them thus forth you stopped going as much. It was also due to the fact you had barely any time to sleep, so you cut it out of your morning schedule to be able to sleep in a little. You think the guy’s name was Wooyoung if you can remember his name tag correctly. You notice he sees you sitting next to Yeosang, with his friend’s hoodie over your shoulders and a smile consumes his entire face. 
“Muffin?” he looks confused, yet somewhat glad to see you once again. The nickname extremely takes you aback. “Why did you stop coming to the café?”
As far as you can recall, back when you visited the café, this server was rather distant and limited to saying little to no words whilst waiting. Seeing him like this confuses you severely. Alas, you let out a giggle and both of the boys' grins widen visibly.
“You two better get going, I'm not sure your coach wants to wait any longer.” 
Yeosang stands up and straightens out his pants before turning to you,
“Hopefully I’ll see you around.” he smiles warmly. Smiling back at him, you nod. Yeosang starts to leave with Wooyoung before he turns around.
“I better see you at the café tomorrow! Plus, that sweater looks good on you, Muffin.” he winks and Yeosang slaps the back of his head.  You can’t help but giggle yet feel flustered. 
Yeosang and Wooyoung walk towards the coach’s section, Yeosang slightly more affected than the male next to him. Hopefully he will get his hoodie back, and hopefully it will smell like you. After this interaction, your mind was even more confused. If you remember correctly, Yeosang and Wooyoung have a very big reputation for being some of the rudest and coldest towards people. Yet they were so friendly when you were with them. Is everything all these people are saying about them true or maybe the group of eight is just deeply misunderstood?
Whatever it is, you need to talk to Jisung about this, but you will wait until the game is over.
----
The night of the interaction between Yeosang and Wooyoung, Jisung, Minho and you reside at their apartment, eating chicken and watching a shitty romcom for background noise. The rest of his roommates are out celebrating the start of the football season. You have no idea why it started mid-way through November but okay.
“I said I would come; they were too sweet to say no to!” You exclaim, throwing your head back against the couch, regretting saying yes. 
“It was definitely Yeosang and Wooyoung?” Minho questions, not believing any part of my story.
“Yes! Yeosang has the birthmark next to his eye like Ji described and Wooyoung was the guy who works at that one café I used to go to all the time,”
“Well, I never knew Wooyoung worked at a café, that doesn't really match the hardcore scary image they are going for, are you sure you’re not going delusional?” Jisung admits, chuckling.
“What are you going to do?” Minho questions, passing you a drumstick. 
You take a big bite, before speaking, “I should just go, if I don't show up, they might murder me as you two say. Which is very unbelievable seeing how fucking cheerful they’ve all been.”
“Well, you’ve only met four, the rest are probably a nightmare,” Jisung says, his mouth full of chicken, Minho humming in agreement next to him.
“You two are supposed to be comforting me.” you groan, throwing your head into your hands. 
“Okay, don't worry __, if they have been as nice as you’ve been saying then just show up and if they aren't nice then call Chan and Changbin and I’m sure they will gladly sort them out for you.” Minho laughs.
 ----
Keeping your promise, you showed up at the café the next day. 
Opening the painted door, the bell rings notifying your entrance. Immediately you spot Wooyoung relaxing against the counter, scrolling through his phone, visibly bored. There are only a few people in the café, mostly reading books or typing on laptops. You see a flash of pink hair in the corner, yet you lose focus as quickly as you had it as you continue to walk further in.
“Welcome to Veranda Café,” Wooyoung says unbothered, still staring at his phone as you walk closer to where all the cakes were on display. Much to your dismay, you fail to see a raspberry muffin on display.
“I see you still don’t have any raspberry muffins.” You speak out in front of where Wooyoung is standing, making his head immediately snap up.
“__! I was starting to worry you weren't going to show up.” He exclaims, a contagious smile wide on his face. Immediately putting his phone in his pocket, giving his attention to you. He leans on the counter. Extremely happy you showed up.
“I never break my promises,” you grin at the black-haired man.
“Oh, one moment.” He speaks out excitedly, like a puppy, and turns to where he was sitting. Opening up a small fridge, he brings out the biggest, most beautiful raspberry muffin you have ever seen.
“Yeosang and I made this morning for you.” he gestures over to the corner, and you see the blonde male from yesterday, he is sitting next to someone, yet you can’t see them from where you’re standing. Yeosang shyly waves and you smile and wave back. Heart beating faster and cheeks warming up, you take the muffin happily. Wooyoung smiles brightly at you, feeling prideful at the way your eyes light up from the muffin.
“We stopped making these muffins because the owner didn’t think anyone was buying them, it made me upset because I knew you liked them,” Wooyoung says, making direct eye contact with you, making you weak at the knees. Wondering how he even remembered you, you still feel thankful he thought of you, even if it was a long time ago.
“It’s a shame but I'm sure there are lots of other tasty things here too. Anyways, thank you so much, you guys are the best.” you say, sincerity dripping in your words. Wooyoung just shrugs like he doesn't care, but the big smile on his face and the redness dusting his ears tells a different story.
“How much do I owe you?” you ask, getting out your purse.
Swiftly, Wooyoung grabs your hand halting its actions, “it’s on us, for being so kind, Yeosang and one of our friends really needed those rescue drops.” He lowers his voice, “between us, their anxiety has been really bad recently, and the stuff works wonders. Plus, you were always my favourite customer anyways.” Wooyoung admits, smiling, his cheeks get a deeper colour of red. Your heart warms up once again, which is strange to you. You haven't felt this happiness in a very long time. Maybe things are starting to get better. Happily taking the muffin, you make your way to Yeosang who is reading a book.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” you inquire, repeating his words from yesterday, yet when your eyes meet the figure sitting next to him, they light up as you recognise him.
“I know you!” You exclaim, a little too loudly, causing people around you to glare in your direction. Feeling overwhelmed by the sudden attention, you quickly sit down in a shielded area, away from all the glares. 
“You two know each other?” Yeosang asks, intrigued by your sudden remark.
“It is you, right?” you ask just in case you’re mistaking him for another pink-haired male.
The tall male smiles widely, “Yeah, it’s me. I’m Mingi,” he turns to Yeosang, who is visibly confused, “we met briefly in a bar the other day,” 
Yeosang lets out an ‘ah’ in realisation, yet you fail to see the jealous look he points at the pink haired man as he turns back to his book. Reaching for a dessert fork placed in the middle of the table, Mingi quickly grabs it and hands it to you. Quietly thanking him, you start to cut your muffin into four pieces. You acknowledge a gaze on you, so you halt your movements and look up, noticing Yeosang and Mingi’s eyes on you. Suddenly feeling awfully small, you start to feel your heartbeat rise and your breath deepen, never really liking people watching you eat, the stares from the two make you anxious. Luckily, they seem to immediately notice your change in behaviour and start apologising.
“I’m sorry, we will look away. We were just wondering whether you were going to like the muffin,” Mingi explains, his voice stumbling over words.
“It’s okay! I’m sorry, I’ve always been kind of awkward when people watch me eat.” you confess, your cheeks heating up. The two males nod trying to remember this information for the future. Instantly, the two men completely look away and focus on their own things, not paying any attention to you. Their antics make you giggle slightly, and you look back down at your muffin. Slowly, you pick up a quarter and place it on Mingi’s empty plate in front of him. You then do the same for Yeosang. They both look up at you with wide eyes.
“This is your favourite, we can't take it,” Yeosang says hurriedly, trying to put the cake back on your plate. 
“Stop, stop! I want to. I want to share it with my friends!” You blurt out before you can control your mouth. The wide eyes on both Yeosang and Mingi, make you realise what you said. You have to remember that even though they seem normal they are very clearly part of a group who apparently can kill people with their stare. What the hell are you doing? Of course, they aren’t your friends, you met them both once for less than ten minutes.
“Wait, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that I didn't intend to push your boundaries, we have only met like twice I didn't just assume we are friends!” You start to ramble, scared they will take it the wrong way, trying to fix your words as quickly as possible so you don’t get on their bad sides.
Before you can say anything more, Yeosang cuts you off by taking a bite of the muffin, “it tastes amazing! Thank you,”
“Woo!” Mingi’s voice calls out, ignoring the angry glares of people around him, “come get some cake!” Watching Wooyoung jump over the counter towards the three of you, you smile to yourself, glad you haven't done something that would cause future problems. Yeosang feeds Wooyoung the cake and makes an over-exaggerated reaction, “the flavours are melting on my tongue!” he exclaims in a funny voice, making Yeosang and Mingi cringe but you just laugh at his amusing antics. You can’t help but imagine how the whole group is when they are together. 
For the remainder of the hour, you are just conversing with Wooyoung and Mingi, sometimes Yeosang if he wants to add to the conversation, but more focusing on his book, yet looking up intently whenever you speak. You are broken out of your conversation as you hear the bell of the entrance ring, notifying the entrance of new customers. Wooyoung groans and stands up from his chair next to you. It seems to be three girls from our school. You recognise one of them from your calculus class.
Then the next thing that happens confuses you more than any other thing that has happened. As Wooyoung reaches the counter to take their order, his demeanour changes almost immediately, you would've missed it if you had blinked. 
Mingi and Yeosang seem to notice your confusion but blatantly ignore it, their smiles quickly disappearing from their faces. The atmosphere turns from warm and friendly to cold and foreign.
“What do you want?” Wooyoung asks bluntly. You furrow your eyebrows, confused out of your mind as to where the sweet friendly Wooyoung disappeared to.
“You know you should be nicer to your customers, it would help with business,” one of the girls speaks out, looking smug as if she has immensely hurt the man’s feelings.
“You should probably focus on your studies rather than going to cafes, sitting with a random document open and pretending to study when we all know you are miserably failing all your classes.” Wooyoung says monotone, whilst scrolling through his phone, not even looking at the three girls who now have shocked and offended looks on their faces. Some curses are thrown before the girls end up storming out of the café without even beginning to look at the menu. As soon as the girls leave, Wooyoung returns to the table nonchalantly, acting as if nothing had happened. Opening your mouth to say something, it gets caught in your throat before you get the words out.
Are you going insane?
{feedback is always appreciated and i love hearing from all of you. remember you are loved.} 
part two is out now!!!
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writingwithcolor · 3 months
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Any advice for handling race in reincarnation situations?
@swamp-spirit asked:
I'm writing a story that includes characters being reincarnated with completely different appearances. It's a fantasy world, and most of the characters are being reborn in the same region, but I still want a range of skin tones and features in the main cast (this is a comic). I have weird feelings about a character being 'reborn' with notably lighter or darker skin, but it also feels implausible and lazy for people to Just Happen to have a similar appearance when the theology of the story doesn't support it. Characters being reborn, and taking out things specific to real life groups, what are the major things you'd want an author to read up on or take into account? (Note: there is not a 'white' looking ethnic group in this story)
I don’t think it’s a problem as long as the skin tones don’t have any correlation to the circumstances that they’re reincarnated into.
- SK
It’s an interesting question, because in most religions where reincarnation/ transmigration of the soul is a feature of “what happens after death”, remembering one’s past life is not really part of the package deal. From what you’ve written, it’s not clear to me where the “memory” of these characters’ lives are held. Is there a 3rd person omniscient narrator telling the audience who each person is in their next life or do the characters themselves retain memory of past lives?
Assuming this is your typical reincarnation scenario where characters retain no memory of previous lives, it doesn’t much matter. The next life is the next life. Who a person was in their previous life and that identity, in theory, means nothing to them. This also means whatever personality, values, experiences and so on they had in their previous life no longer has meaning. They are, in effect, another person. However, you say you feel awkward about the above which makes me wonder if characters are remembering past lives, in which case…
If you study pretty much any major Asian religion where reincarnation is a part of the belief system, having no memory of the previous life is par for the course. In present-day religions like Jainism, Sikhism, Hinduism and Buddhism, only “special” (I’m using the term very casually here) entities like bodhisattvas, guru, arihant, buddhas, etc. usually get to keep their memories, while the rest of us (literal) mere mortals are supposed to lose our memories between lives as a part of Samsara. In Hinduism, even the gods often forget their previous lives, unless their reincarnation had a targeted purpose (Like being born to defeat an evil entity). 
For most people, it is only through prayer, devotion, meditation and accumulated virtuous/ good/ compassionate deeds that humans are thought to deepen their understanding of the nature of the universe, and thus have the capacity to remember past lives (I’m, again, paraphrasing very loosely here from several years worth of university history+religion courses).  
This is why the isekai genre in Japan is largely regarded as a “cheat”/ parody genre of fantasy. The protagonist, according to common Japanese cultural beliefs, which are quite heavily grounded in Buddhism, is definitively “cheating.” Not to get too ironically biblical, the character’s success often comes from the forbidden knowledge borne of their previous life. 
Thus, there are two ways I look at your characters’ predicaments: 
It’s not technically reincarnation - not by the way most major world religions define reincarnation, anyway. You have people who died now inhabiting other bodies, but that’s not the same as the transmigration of the soul. Also, you want to delve into the weirdness (and maybe heaviness) of “Wow, I went to sleep with one face and woke up with another.” There are certainly stories about people who have had dramatic cosmetic plastic surgery, weight loss surgery, HRT, etc. and then experienced the difference in the “before” versus “after” of how their altered physical appearance makes them feel, as well as how other people treat them. Even if the community your characters are born into now differs from their previous community (Which I guess would make this more a “I traveled between dimensions, and my appearance altered in the process” sci-fi adjacent affair), their new life will still have social environments with differing attitudes towards human physical appearance that will affect your characters’ emotional states. 
Isekai it up and play with the ridiculous contradiction of having past lives and differing memories of one’s appearance. Isekai manga, manhwa and webtoons all make use of this trope heavily, especially with protagonists who experience a “glow-up” (Ex. Going from a Plain Jane OL to beautiful fantasy heroine) or, by contrast, protagonists who end up in very different forms from their original lives (Tensura, I’m a Spider, So What?). I’d be creative and go even more granular. Being able to tan after a lifetime of getting sunburns or no longer needing glasses might be nice, but what if the new body lacks the enzymes to process dairy or alcohol? What about dealing with differences in hair texture? Skincare routines? What about living life as a very tall person after being quite short or vice versa? What if you bumped into an acquaintance from your previous life, and one of you clearly got a more “coveted” reincarnation?  See how far of an extreme you can take this idea until it feels too uncomfortable or ridiculous. 
Marika.
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copperbadge · 11 months
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Hi Sam! Because I just saw the post on ao3 and donations, and a different post about ao3s updated statement regarding chatgpt/ai generated fiction, and you generally have a good read on things like this - what's your opinion on it, and how its meant to be interpreted?
(I want to good faith believe, and its a complicated/ongoing topic, but wanted to hear your thoughts)
I don't know which post about the update you mean, Anon, but I assume the update referenced is the one the OTW posted on 5/13 about AI scraping and ChatGPT. I do have some thoughts but I want to go through the post a little because I don't think I'm actually needed to interpret this one -- I think with some critical thought anyone can, but a lot of people don't get critical thinking training in school, so I want to do a little demo of it.
Pre-emptively, this is a list of things I'm not an expert on: copyright law, data scraping, AI, website design, and the legality of certain forms of freedom of expression. But honestly for this you don't need to be.
First and foremost, we really have no reason to disbelieve OTW when they speak on this subject. While there's debate and discussion about AO3 and certainly it's imperfect in a number of directions, they are pretty transparent, generally speaking. I don't believe there is a reason to approach AO3 with an assumption of disingenuity in a general sense. However, the organization is run by humans, who are imperfect and can sometimes be deceitful, so it's good to always approach public statements with a critical eye.
So the post is talking about two separate but related issues: preventing AIs from scraping AO3, and policy on AI-generated works being posted. What we are looking for, from both, is a combination of things: we want what they're saying to make sense both in the world, and within the statement -- no contradictions, nothing that seems illogical, nothing that seems like baseless assumption or generalization. We want simple prose, and we want a look at the reasoning behind the actions they're taking.
When talking about AI scraping, they start with what they've done to counteract scraping, speaking in relatively simple terms but with enough specificity that if you wanted you could look up anything you didn't understand. They list what they've done to prevent scraping, and they also discuss the issues with the kinds of measures that would need to be implemented to fully prevent it. They mention specific examples that people were concerned about, and they talk about what they'll be doing going forward.
In terms of the text, this all makes sense to me -- here's what we've done, here's the problem with doing more, here's what we plan to do next. Internally, no matter what the topic is, this section is logical, there are no contradictions and no particular evasions. Critically it passes muster. Additionally, with the knowledge I do have of website design and data management, I can tell that they're doing all they reasonably can. From a standpoint of ignorance, the statement makes internal sense; from a standpoint of knowledge, they're doing what I would do in their place.
When talking about AI-generated works, likewise, they're pretty open about their process and reasoning. They say look, this isn't against TOS as it stands, and here's a reminder of why, followed by a mission statement. The bolded text of that statement is very clear, and correlates with what I said in an earlier post: their policy is maximum inclusivity of fanworks. This statement is consistent with policy AO3 has held for years, which is well-known to the community.
They go on to discuss how AI-generated work could violate spam policies, but those spam policies apply to everyone everywhere, and they remind us that we can always have the Policy & Abuse team examine a work we're skeptical of. (Inside baseball, I know some people who have beef with Policy & Abuse for being unresponsive, particularly in certain cases where harassment is involved. However, within this document, they are saying both "here's why we do this" and "if you have a problem, here's the first step.")
Again, after saying what's happening and what's being done about it, they move on to say that these are only current policies, and may change depending on future developments, and that those changes will be made available for public discussion. This is once more internally logical, and with the benefit of outside knowledge, perfectly rational.
Because I agree with them -- when I saw there was an "updated" statement from OTW on AI-generated prose I was frankly alarmed because I think banning AI-generated prose from AO3 causes way more problems than it solves. It's pretty restrained of them not to bring up the issue in more detail, but it's not difficult for those of us familiar with the community to project outwards as to why banning AI prose might be a bad thing.
So, think about what happens if an AI prose ban goes into effect and you read a fic you think was AI generated. How can you tell? Have you read some of the human-generated prose on AO3? Some of it's not great. So really in that case, what you're banning is someone saying they AI-generated the fic, which means AI-generated fic would still show up, it just couldn't be tagged as such. It's like Prohibition -- they banned alcohol and people still drank. They poisoned the alcohol and people drank the poisoned alcohol (check out paragraph five for specifics). If you ban something off the archive it'll still show up there, it just won't be tagged, so instead of a bag labeled "dead dove, do not eat" you just step on a land mine in your kitchen. AI prose is not content in the way that say incest or underage sex is; I'm against banning those as well, but at least with those you can pretty clearly say "yes this is" or "no this isn't" based on objective criteria. You can't do that with "was this made by a human or a machine" when it comes to prose.
Which leads to the second issue: if a text is reported as AI-generated and the author says "No, I wrote that," how do you prove otherwise? If you report an author for uploading AI-generated prose, all that will happen is either they just say "No, I wrote that" or someone on AO3's abuse team unilaterally decides that yes, this is AI prose, and punts someone off the website who might just be kind of a crap writer, which is not a sin or a crime. Either way it's a waste of time. So introducing a ban on AI prose is really just introducing either a useless show-law that will still cause AI prose to be posted there, just without proper tagging, or a tool to harass people with. Harassment is already an issue on the archive.
And we can reason all this out for ourselves simply by asking "What is the good-faith reason for not banning AI prose?" Assuming good faith isn't just for blindly trusting, after all; it's also for reasoning out other peoples' motivations for things.
And frankly fandom gets a little weird about assuming bad faith when it comes to anyone who has the least bit of power within the community. It's something I've encountered personally, as someone with some clout in fandom who is occasionally assumed to have weirdly malevolent intent. I'm not malicious. I'm just an awkward dumbass. But this is just something fandom does, so it's also good to check oneself and go, "Hey, is this person being genuinely malevolent or am I just assuming wickedness because it's easier to be mad at a villain than to explore the complexities of these acts?"
It's why I deliberately didn't speculate about the person who uploaded an AI fanfic and didn't respond to others doing so in comments. That person is right there. You don't have to assume any intent at all, you can just ask them. And it's so much more educational to do so!
So yeah, actually real props to whoever wrote that post by the OTW -- it's internally logical, reasonably transparent, simply written, and avoids a lot of prose pitfalls that I would absolutely fall into (did fall into, in this very post). I think within this area, they are doing what they can to prevent scraping and making the correct decisions, for now, regarding AI content on the archive.
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sugar-grigri · 7 months
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Kumbaya, My Lord... Who's going to come to us...?
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You might think that this chapter would be hard to analyse because it sets the stage for future confrontations, but in fact it is fascinating because it heralds the next chapter.
Following the chronology first, the chapter confirms what was implied in the last few chapters, namely the war on images.
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Children are seen as precious to the public hunters in that their survival and their tears can sway public opinion one way or the other.
It is crucial to neutralise Asa not just because she is dangerous but also because she is the symbol of the church; if she manages to retain her popularity despite the actions of the public hunters, then their efforts will be for naught.
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This line is very interesting because it shows that the problem is Denji
The hunters boast of having searched the weapons and, in itself, everything would be so simple if Chainsaw Man were a weapon in the true sense of the word and could simply be searched and stored in a warehouse.
But it had to be an unpredictable teenager that Yoshida couldn't fully master...
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This answer is just as interesting as it is equivocal: what does it mean to play Chainsaw Man? Playing hero? To be a symbol of alternative justice to the state? To be popular? This line is deliberately ambiguous, following on from part 2, which explores the essence of Chainsaw Man.
If we can't answer it, it's precisely because part 2 clouds this identity...
Impostor, instrumentalisation, neutralisation, blackmail, popularity, solitude... Denji no longer knows what the second component of his identity means...
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This conversation about the demon of justice is important because it helps us to understand several things:
1) it's difficult to identify a demon, which further confuses the question of what Fake!CSM or even Chainsaw Man is, which is an unusually crucial demon for a monster that's supposed to represent nothing but fear of chainsaws
2) The fear that demons represent isn't necessarily correlated with their appearance and what they exude, especially when it comes to more abstract notions like justice. This sort of giant species looked like demons of greed, not justice. Whereas an oversized brain gave more of an air of something intellectualised like justice ?
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3) So who had Yuko contracted with ? But also the other contractors, whether from the church, or even Asa's friend in the first chapter?
4) A demon can lie about its identity when it contracts with a human, which makes Pochita even more mysterious. This point is disturbing in the sense that one of the rules that had been laid down was that human/demon contracts were in good faith in the sense that neither party could go back on its word.
If a demon can lie about his identity, either that means he's not really lying or that he doesn't necessarily have to reveal his identity in order to enter into a contract.
He has to keep his word on his commitment (lend his powers) but doesn't necessarily have to mention who he is.
If it's the first possibility, i.e. the fact that the mysterious demon with whom Yuko and members of the church have tied up isn't lying when he says he's the demon of justice, then it's the second possibility.
This sends us back to him, Fake!CSM, who doesn't say that he's a multimorphic demon capable of stealing identities...
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So CSM is not the only one to be cloned, but the demon of justice too.
Fake!CSM would not be the real Chainsaw demon, nor the demon resulting from the fear of Chainsaw Man, but a demon based around identity, its usurpation, its loss, or even the demon embodying amnesia, memory...
If Yuko has a contract with Fake!CSM that would explain why he's killing her. Since the contract came to an end, she was able to take revenge on Asa's bullies.
All these questions remain unanswered. Now let's look at how this chapter foreshadows the next one.
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Let's get back to Barem's case. First of all, the victory of the public hunters obviously seems too simple, and we suspect that there will be a reprisal. But in what way? And what reprisals?
Already Barem hasn't been sent near Denji simply to chat, which means there's another plan afoot
Miri and the others were bait, and the main course takes place in this very amusement park.
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Barem announces that he prefers to watch the sunset, which gives him a very contemplative side and gives several possible clues
1. The simplest one is that saying you want to watch the sunset means you know exactly how precious things like that can be. Weapons usually have difficult pasts, so has Barem been deprived of the light of day? I mention his condition as a weapon because it's something that resonates with what Fumiko is saying, the fact that if Barem is neutralised, he will be forced to be used by the other side. Weapons are nothing more than weapons to be searched by public hunters.
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2. The most interesting of all, the sunset at night, has something to do with the man who has intrigued us from the start, the man we don't know whether he's an ally or an antagonist: Fake!CSM. He intervened twice during the dawn by killing Yuko, and warned Chainsaw Man to act before daybreak. Fake!CSM only acts at a given moment: when day breaks or when he hides.
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As well as confirming that he'll be coming soon, this also confirms that he could be the one behind the big question revolving around the demon of justice.
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That would explain the title 'Kumbaya'. Like everyone else, I looked into it. Apart from the fact that it comes from gospel, which confirms Barem's attachment to religion and to God, what interests us is not only the context of this popular song but also its literal meaning.
I'm not an expert on this, so if anyone wants to correct what I'm about to say, feel free.
Kumbaya is a song that originated with the Gullah, a group of African-Americans located in the Sea Islands along the coast of South Carolina and Georgia. These people were originally slaves from West Africa, brought to the United States to work in the rice fields. What's interesting is that someone like Barem is using it, this song about a people who have been instrumentalised like their own, and who have found refuge in religion and faith.
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This is not the first time Fujimoto has referred to the Christian religion. Firstly, because CSM is a work packed with biblical references, but more importantly, the person who expressly refers to the Bible is none other than the impostor.
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God, and his divine mission to create a world without devils, is the answer to this question. What is the church playing at? Pursuing a Christ-like mission. If Fami really wants to save humanity from the apocalypse as foretold by Nostradamus, this relationship between humanity and the end of time is just one of the purposes announced by the Christian religion.
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But above all, "Kumbaya" is also derived from Gullah, English Creole mixed with several West African languages, which can be heard as "Come by ya" or "Come by here". It literally means asking God to "come here" and help the singer.
It immediately resonates with what I meant above, doesn't it ? Barem isn't just waiting for the sun to set, he's waiting for his saviour.
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When Yoshida attacks Asa, Kumbaya has the same meaning. She is being attacked by a particularly difficult enemy, but her response will in fact be proportional. Although she appears to be in a bad way with her hand cut off, she is actually in a state of strength.
Her hand is Asa's own property, and nothing is more certain than the fact that our bodies belong to us ? Then the weapon will be all the more powerful.
Repeating Oh Lord Kumbaya once again means that someone is coming to help, Asa is simply passing the baton to the one who will lead the offensive : Yoru.
Whether it's Asa or Barem, everyone is just waiting for their saviour to start attacking.
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cerastes · 30 days
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as far as my circle of mutuals goes, i think you're the only cishet guy around these days
We held a tournament, Highlander style, where we beheaded each other after climatic sword duels and absorbed the fallen's power. I am the Last Cishet who absorbed all of their power, known only by my title: Son Boy Allowed.
No but jest aside, that post did make me think of the times it's been brought up that I Am This in spaces where that's not the norm, and, well, each friend group or community has its own story, and in my case, it happened to be that the majority of people in my friend group & adjacent community, over the years, came out as trans mainly plus a few other identities, and while I did not understand it at all initially (even considered it could be catfishing, because I am from ye olde internet where catfishing was rampant and an olympic sport), my logic was "ok I love this person, they are asking me if I can refer to them as the other gender now, and that that's what they really are. There's not anything wrong at all with that, nor do I think this person I consider my friend could have nefarious intents with this, like catfishing, because I know them, so sure thing, let's go with that" and with time, I learned more and more about these topics, either by my own initiative (because I wanted to understand more) and when committing faux passes, because my friends would correct me or pull me to the side (send an IM) going "hey uh Drimo, you reblogged something pretty bad just now, are you aware?" "oh fuck no why" and I'd always get a helpful explanation.
Which brings me to the point: As a cishet dude, it REALLY helped me a LOT to understand these topics to have not only loving friends that live those lives, but to have said loving friends that live those lives and are willing to assume that my fuck ups and oopsies were born from ignorance and good faith, not from a hateful and discriminatory hill, and who then kindly informed me of X and Y.
So I have to agree with that post! At the risk of sounding self-aggrandizing, I do think being able to tolerate the misteps of a well-intentioned cishet guy who might not know all the 1s and 2s of the dance does in fact directly correlate to healthy, cool friend groups and communities. Over the years, the majority of my net friends have come out as trans, and a few others as non-binary and genderfluid, and I've never really had a situation where someone blasted me for my misteps, instead explaining What Happened instead. I've learned a lot over the years, and in fact, as a therapist, I've helped trans kids come out and have explained the whole shebang to their parents, but as a cishet guy, again, initially this was all very arcane to me, so I am always thankful for the people that took time and care so we could remain friends and so that I could grow to be a more worldly and open minded person.
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antiphilosophia · 9 months
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Crowley's pre-fall name is BARAQIEL (THEORY)
THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS OR RATHER CLUES FOR GOOD OMENS SEASON 2 CONTENTS, PROCEED WITH CAUTION 🤍
Very well. Who doesn't love the Crowley is the Archangel Raphael theory (I am certainly of those people who do). During my first watch of Good Omens S2 I was even somehow almost confident that that was the case.
However, my second, more careful, viewing of this lovely (but equally heartbreaking) season made me change my mind, likely for good. In episode 4, Furfur's book "Demon's Guide To Angelic Beings Who Walk The Earth" shows us a name of a certain angel Baraqiel. (see photo below) Knowing Good Omens that can hardly be a coincidence.
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Unfortunately, the very text is quite unreadable. One thing, other than the name, which is pretty clear is the subheading "Angel of the Sky" and since the episode 1 lets us take a look at how Crowley did indeed take part in creation of what is to be seen in the night sky, one can hardly find that entirely non-fitting. One other sentence I was (at least I think) able to read is "Often draped in red."
(On a different note but certainly worth noticing are scribbles that generally just roast Crowley – his suspiciousness, hair and name (though I am not absolutely sure of the latter) "His hair is bad!" Wow, Furfur really does hate Crowley.)
Then there is something written above the name of Baraqiel, unfortunately in none of the picture frames does it get a bit readable. I wonder though, couldn't it be "former"? Since it comes precisely after mention of Crowley to whom should one report on Aziraphale.
Crowley is very powerful. Dominion
A word that is not exactly readable but can be deduced from its placement (it is situated just as Aziraphale's "Principality") is Baraqiel's rank – Dominion Angel. It should be noted here that I very much lack proper knowledge of either Jewish or Christian mythology and I would hate to provide any incorrect claims. I therefore think it is better for me not to overly state things, even more so since everyone can look into it on their own and figure out what that might mean for our beloved demon. What I will say, however, is that they are (as I understand it) very powerful and, placed within the 2nd triad in the angel hierarchy, ranked higher than the Archangels. This would go well along with the emphasis that was in my opinion laid on Crowley's powers quite a lot this season.
For example: "A miracle of enormous power happened last night. The kind of miracle only the mightiest of archangels could've performed," said Shax to Crowley, to which he replied: "How'd you know I didn't do it?" He didn't get an answer.
What I think (and I may be very wrong, obviously) is that a miracle of this vastness wouldn't have happened simply because of a regular angel and a regular demon did together half a miracle each. What is also worth noticing is that the tool with which Crowley created the Nebula is the same as the one he used to temporarily stop time at the end of season 1 right before Satan's arrival. So much to the size of his powers.
Baraqiel, lightning of God. Fallen angel
Finally, to Baraqiel himself. My lack of knowledge concerning this matter still stands and frankly I don't even know where to find valid information about angels and such on the internet. Baraqiel should, however, stand for "lightning of God" and is also regarded as the angel of lightning. In season 2 there are (as far as I remember) two occasions where Crowley is put in correlation with lightning. (1) His poor anger management issues in episode 1 and (2) his not at all better matchmaking in episode 3 ("I haven't done weather in ages"). Furthermore, Baraqiel is considered to be the one who taught astrology to people. Nevertheless, what points to Crowley and Baraqiel being one even more is that Baraqiel is indeed a fallen angel.
So... That is probably it. I usually tent to theorize about stuff in quiet, in fact, this is the first time I've used Tumblr for anything other than reading Neil Gaiman's posts. I didn't even think that I would actually post it but then I've searched on Twitter, TikTok and here on Tumblr if anyone else has already come up with this theory. The only post I could find (hopefully I haven't missed anything) was by @valaza_04 on Twitter (click here) where they refer to the same frame shot as I do here.
Now I know, we are still recovering from heartbreaking (but if you ask me, absolutely amazing) finale and the main thing currently on our minds is figuring out why would Aziraphale choose as he did and the many wonderful theories that come with it. However, considering the utterly virulent look that Metatron shot at Crowley before walking out of the bookshop with Aziraphale and also his "Well, [Crowley] always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions, too." makes me think that he absolutely does not care for Crowley and whichever angel he was before the Fall. And I reckon it won't remain unnoticed in season 3 and might even be really important (or that is just me wishing for more pre-fall Crowley scenes). Hence I decided that I will post this. And it doesn't matter if no one will see this in the end, it was quite fun to write. However, if there is someone who will read this all the way through, I hope they will accept my apology for the mistakes I have most possibly made (English is not my first language) and also for the ridiculous length this post has come to gather. It turns out, I am just as chatty of a writer as I am speaker.
Well maybe I will come around to write one more post about this theory, only with a proper research this time. Till then thank you and, please, support this season by streaming as much as you can so we can have season 3 of this masterpiece of a show. And be kind to those bringing it to us in your comments regarding the ending, even though it is very frustrating and heart-shattering, it is also maybe the best ending we could have hoped for with the prospects of season 3.
Thank you for letting me talk my heart out, Tumblr.
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gayou01 · 1 year
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Astrology observations pt 11
DISCLAIMER- Placements will not play out the same way for everyone and having challenging placements + aspects does not mean that you are a bad person or that you will have a bad life. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't
-people with Gemini and Scorpio stelliums tend to be into body modifications, more specifically tattoos
-Uranus in the 5th house may indicate unexpected pregnancies, teenage or not. If you’ve been following my posts, you’ll remember that I mentioned a correlation between Uranus in the 5th house and same-sex relationships in a previous one. That right here is an example of placements not manifesting the same way for everybody
-If you decide to have children, there’s a chance that one of them will have the sign occupying your 5th house as part of their big 3, or have that sign’s planetary ruler in a prominent place in their chart (like an angular house)
-that isn’t always the case but Uranus in the 8th house can indicate sudden death, a death from a natural disaster, or a death from a freak accident
-People with 8th house stelliums could work for the FBI if they really wanted to. Not only do they have the curiosity going for them, they have the endurance required to continue an investigation until they get the answers they need
-people with water stelliums (especially Pisces) tend to give people more chances than they deserve because of how empathetic they are. It’s imperative that those people learn to place strong boundaries and take no shit, even if they understand why the people around them act the way they act
-fire and earth stelliums hate asking for help, even when they’re neck deep in trouble
-venus in the 11th house or Uranus aspecting Venus can manifest literally via the native finding love online
-another way Saturn in the 7th house can manifest (other than having a larger age difference between you and your SO) is staying with the same person for a very long time and even growing old together. How good or bad that turns out to be will be up to the couple
-having Jupiter in the 10th house can indicate being presented with many opportunities to climb up your career ladder or being a Jack-of-all-trades, especially if mercury is favorably aspected
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27goldensun · 1 year
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Is it worth it? An analysis on Louis’ stunts
Lately there has been a shift in how Louis’ stunts are being presented to the fandom, with babygate mentions growing and seemingly being pushed by Louis himself.
I have taken some time to go over some (very arbitrary) success indicators that could possibly justify this push in stunts as a marketing ploy, however I have only confirmed my suspicions that the fanbase IS NOT HAPPY and that has been translating in Louis’ numbers.
(May I add that I focused more on louis’ relationship with his fanbase and I know that’s not everyone’s definition of success so I also added streaming numbers)
I took my numbers from this website and I looked through late 2021 and 2022 mostly
Starting off, lets look at Louis’ twitter following and activity:
Number of followers
Throughout August, September, October and November 2021, louis gained between 20k and 40k followers each month, those numbers were much higher during the earlier months of 2021, so what could have sparked that change?
The first picture of louis with F in years dropped in August, which happens to coincide with the sudden drop in Louis’ following
In December, the First Christmas BS happened, and that generated a drop in his following (he didn’t actually start losing followers until 2022, but he only gained 4K in December 2021) that would be weird on its on, but paired with the start of his tour (in which his numbers should be increasing much more) it was very obviously correlated.
Now onto 2022, which was quite an eventful year
2022 marked the start of LTWT which was not only an incredible time for preexisting fans could have been a great opportunity to increase his fanbase by giving him more visibility, especially paired up with a new album. We’ll see that this wasn’t the case
The beginning of the year presented Louis with a slow, especially if compared to 2021, but steady raise in following. This drastically changed in July.
The infamous dm leak happened on July 30th 2022 and it greatly impacted the fandom, which was translated into Louis social media following. Looking at it comparatively, in June 2022 he gained 129k followers, in July that number dropped to 26k, showing the impact of those final 2 days. In August, his numbers only continued to drop.
With the album announcement, one could’ve expect a raise in following and activity, but the opposite happened, and I can’t help but link it with the marketing strategy that was chosen, with further mentions of his “personal” life, especially bbg
The promotional interviews began July 2022 still during LTWT and, at first, they were stunt free (with the exception of one Interview on July 21 2022, in which he stumbled when saying F’s name, something he seemed much more comfortable with later on).
September 6, 2022: It is during an interview with Radio Deejay Itália that the mentions truly begin. Louis brings up Freddie unprompted and says he travels to LA often to visit him, from this point forward, the kid is often brought up.
November 2022 we get all those articles saying “louis finds parenting to be challenging”, over 100 copy and paste articles of this nature were posted.
December 2022 the Christmas Bs 2.0 took place, with the kid being flown to the UK and spending around a week there, between Christmas and New Years. The only footage of louis and F interacting was posted on Louis’ birthday, in a short video of the two in a dinner with the rest of the Tomlinsons.
How did this translate in his twitter following? When FITF promo started, Louis only lost followers
August 2022 he lost 7k
September 2022 he lost 33k
October 2022 he lost 24k
November 2022 he lost 29k followers (not good right after an album announcement)
December 2022 he lost 28k followers
January 2023 he lost 43.9k (the most so far)
But did all this only happen to his twitter following? Surely that’s not the only indicator of his success and relationship with his fanbase?
I agree, although louis does seem to use twitter the most when connecting with fans, lets look through his instagram
When FITF promo started, Louis only lost followers
August 2022 he lost 24k
September 2022 he lost 18k
October 2022 he lost 30k
November 2022 he lost 49k followers (not good right after an album announcement)
December 2022 he lost 33k followers
January 2023 he lost 62.8k (the most so far)
Looking at his streaming statistics
(I’m using walls as a comparison for timeline purposes, although im well aware walls promo was far from stunt free, it seems most fans have, understandably, a harder time dealing with bbg than Eleanor)
*Walls debuted at number nine on the US Billboard 200 with 39,000 album-equivalent units
*Faith in the Future debuted at number five on the Billboard 200 selling 43,000 album-equivalent units
So there was obviously an improvement on FITF debut, but has it been consistent since the album release?
The “this is Louis tomlinson playlist” on Spotify
May 2021 The "This Is Louis Tomlinson" playlist reached 250k likes
February 2023 The "This Is Louis Tomlinson" playlist reached 320k likes
Album stream milestones
Walls
Over 100 million streams on Spotify: February 6th, 1 week after its release
FITF
Over 100 million streams on Spotify: December 10th, 1 month after its release
So, overall, the situation does not seem to be improving…
I will later go through his tour sales, but given the different venue sizes this could be a bit tricky
My interpretation of those numbers i presented is that no, it is not worth it. Regardless on your opinion about bbg, from a marketing standpoint this image doesn’t seem to be doing Louis any favors…
(Please feel free to add your thoughts, I’d love to deepen this discussion)
Also, I don’t think any stunt that furthers a queer person’s closeting could ever be “worth it”, this was just my attempt to try to see what could be their motivations for this (although if its commercial success, it’s definitely not working)
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“The Ineffable Wheel of Misfortune”.
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Some time ago, I wrote a small meta about this. I truly never go much into that terrain here, but I did write a study on the Goddess Fortuna and thought it most appropriate to share some of the facts about her wheel of Fortune here.
I will not go into much detail about who exactly Fortuna was. Her depictions vary from culture to culture and from age to age (Tyche being the name in Greek, which came before the Roman Fortuna, but many debates have been had about these origins and even comparing the two). But if there is something that remains; one essential aspect: her wheel.
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One very important quote from the Prime extra videos revealing some easter eggs:
"There isn't a single prop or a single bit of costume that hasn't been thought through". And that begs the question, why show this prop so openly in the easter eggs section, but not in the show itself?
As Dylan Thomas wisely said: to begin at the beginning- although just to emphasize something:
Fortuna’s wheel is commonly known as the wheel of Fortune- yet what we have here is a wheel of misfortune. But there are two contradicting factors here, namely “misfortune” and “ineffable” fitting in the same description.
Now fate and ineffability could shake hands sometimes, depending on the belief of the doer. But ineffable and misfortune throws us unto different territory.
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Now before focusing on the words of the wheel, let’s take a look at the picture keeping the wheel together.
Not only is the bench uniting the two figures (obviously you can see who they are), but the color scheme derives from here too. Cloud and flame, combine into each panel with the flaming sword and the fluffy, goat opposite. Horns and halo are on clear display, but this wheel has no pointer to indicate which fate is chosen. An outside force spins the wheel (Fortuna herself), but where does it land? The only pointer- indicator- is the flaming sword. It comes out of the circle, it is the guidance. It is quite literally cutting through the fabric of Fortune because even though Fortuna spins the fate, the sword guards against any circumstance.
Is this a prediction of Aziraphale taking the center place in guiding and protecting against all odds? Most definitely.
Now, you’ve probably seen the Zodiac signs on the wheel. Those are there because:
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Although this states that the wheel of fortune moves from east to west (counterclockwise), let’s keep in mind that this wheel defies fortune and is actually ineffable misfortune.
For that reason, one takes the liberty to assume that this wheel spins in a clockwise direction (west to east).
One reason I am reading this "clockwise" is because I want to correlate it to Crowley's "it's always too late" and to "metaphorically started ticking", as if the options on the wheel follow time strictly in a way. But the wheel has a mind of it’s own:
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A wheel can rotate indefinitely. So even if there is a stop at a certain spot, it most definitely will change again. It is in this case, an eternal repetition of ups and downs.
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One can fall from the wheel and rise again. Interestingly when reading what’s on the wheel, one starts with the upper left hand side- the best moment at the moment. Coincidentally, ineffably, Aziraphale’s flaming sword is pointing exactly to that point - “blessing for you”.
Spin the wheel and you’ll land on the next part- good news.
Notice how you’ll go through some seemingly good events until you reach those that can be read as their opposites. Even putting it like that, a blessing for you can come back again and not be a blessing at all.
On the image above, the qualities are also opposite their negatives. For example peace-war, patience-impatience, and so on.
On the ineffable wheel of misfortune you could choose to read it as color opposites. So take the yellow "pleasure ahead" and match it with the opposite yellow "going on a journey" and it still makes sense, it could be the good and the bad- or it could be nothing at all.
There are many wheels of fortune out there, eternally rotating by the hands of a force outside our control.
Hopefully you’ll have realized by now that even though the wheel belongs to Fortuna in mythology and literature and art and everywhere else, this wheel belongs to God.
Because God plays an ineffable game of their own devising- much like Fortuna does with the fate of mankind.
Yet, there is room to escape the wheel. To defy ineffability, to build another wheel turned by your own hands and to finally say “it’s not too late”.
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