#in the past year i have realized i have very little connection to the concept of gender to begin with!

[nolita-fairytale]

Meeting Pastry Chef Luca from The Bear For the First Time Headcanon

a/n: inspired by @superhoeva, i thought i'd take a crack at writing a chef luca headcanon because we're all dying rn for will poulter as a sticker-sleeve tattooed chef. would anyone read this as a fic?? let me know.

edit: (7/3/23) i turned this into a fic called 'burn your life down.' feel free to read if you'd like!

you own a small restaurant in copenhagen. it's only been open for a year (this could potentially change if i write said fic). it's nothing fancy, but the food has soul. the food is an extension of yourself -- it tells the story of you.

inspired by noma, you grow some of your own produce outside of the restaurant in raised garden beds.

you begin to notice (as it's an open kitchen) and a smaller spot, that a tall, blonde brit has become one of your regulars. he comes in the same day each week at the same time. he always looks tired, like he's unwinding from a long day's worth of hard work, but he's always kind to your staff, and he has a quiet, powerful confidence to him.

week after week, he's there. he always orders one dish and one glass of wine, before paying the bill and leaving for the evening without a word.

your staff speculate about him: who is he, what must he do, that he's so handsome that he must have a partner. you don't pay much attention to the gossip, but it's hard not to notice that it's become part of his routine.

he always orders something different -- eager to try any new kind of special that you have on the menu that day.

it's not till one slower night of service that you finally meet him. you're short staffed that night and so you end up running plates out to tables -- finding it a great opportunity to connect more with your diners on a personal level. it's a very american hospitality concept, but since you have the time, you figure, why not?

he comes in at his usual time on sunday evening and you're curious to learn more about your weekly diner. you introduce yourself after walking his plate out and he's surprised that it's you who's serving him this evening.

"you're the chef?" he asks. "yes." "i can't think of the last time i saw a head chef work front of house..." he shakes his head in disbelief. "we're a little short staffed tonight." he seems impressed, raising his glass of wine to you. "cheers."

at the end of dinner service, one of your servers hands you a handwritten note that luca's left for you, inviting you to the restaurant he works at. the note reads: "thank you for all of the great meals. i'd like to return the favor, that is, if you're open to it," followed by a time, a date for tomorrow, and an address.

as soon as you realize which restaurant it is (much fancier, michelin starred, held in high regard) you only panic a little, but decide to go anyways. since both of your restaurants are closed on monday, you're even more nervous about the fact that you're meeting him at his tonight, while it's closed, considering you've barely had a conversation with him and how intimidating of a reputation the restaurant has.

he greets you at the door, right on time, and he leads you past the closed dining room, back to the kitchen where he's created a few dishes for you to try: two from his regular menu and one inspired by a dish of yours he's had.

"all of this... you did all of this for me... why?" you muster up the courage to ask. "your food is inspired and i don't think i've had something this inspired in a long time. and as chefs, this is what we do. we feed each other." and it's the beginning of, you're not quite sure what, but whatever it is, you're glad he walked into your restaurant however many weeks ago.

#chef luca #will poulter #luca the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear headcanon #luca x reader #the bear hulu #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction

[tempestgnostic]

Cultivating Authenticity in the Community Garden

A whole world of possibility opened up for me years ago when I realized that alterhuman/nonhuman identity isn’t solely one experience. You don’t have to believe in past lives. You don’t need to go through shifts. If you don’t have a visual representation of your alt/non identity, that’s alright. Our experiences are broader than that, and we need to encourage others to understand and affirm this, so we can encourage authenticity and learn about different paths to this identity that still hold the core of what it means to be alt/non.

I believe conceptkin truly changed the game for our community in a profound way. Here we see folks who possess very strong and impactful connections to abstract concepts, to the extent that they are these concepts, just as I am the archetypal werewolf. I see little difference between our experiences in general. I don’t personally believe my identity comes from a past life, and I only have the fuzziest ideas about what I would look like if I could physically represent myself accurately. This isn’t uncommon in the broader alt/non community, but it seems to be an experience shared by many conceptkin in particular.

Archetropes are another excellent example. We’re constantly pushing the boundaries of what being alt/non is for us, in order to explain ourselves more accurately and hopefully pave the way for others to do the same. Our community thrives when we take the anthropological approach: we start from the assumption that others want to represent their beliefs and experiences honestly. We keep in mind the limitations of language, as well as the accepted norms of our community that often dissuade ‘fringe’ belief. The truth is that our experiences are fundamentally real and ultimately valuable to understanding who we are.

If we want to truly encourage authenticity in the alt/non community, we must cultivate a hungry curiosity. We must learn to parse out what is truth and what is trolling, but also to give that initial benefit of the doubt, however briefly. We must recognize that we don’t all speak the same language, nor do we all agree on which terms mean what, and many of us have only been exposed to bits and pieces of the whole. We all make mistakes that require prompt correction, but we should approach that correction with some level of grace. Community-wide understanding is not instantaneous—far from it. Our work must be painfully collaborative.

None of what I’m saying here is new or revolutionary, by any stretch. Our community has decades of history, kept alive and accessible by amazing community members who have dedicated an incredible amount of time and energy to doing so. I repeat these sentiments because they bear repeating. I’m a big fan of the “Holy shit! Two cakes!” philosophy, and if my perspective can offer something insightful, then I’m happy to share it. (Hell, I’ll share it anyways.)

I have been welcomed into this community with open arms (and open limbs and wings of all kinds). I’ve had the pleasure of meeting fellow community members offline, and discussing our alt/non identities in meatspace has been a joy that’s wholly indescribable. I’ve never felt so seen, so profoundly understood, and I consider it a fine blessing to have found my way here.

#alterhuman community #nonhuman community #alt/non community #otherkin #therian #conceptkin #archetrope #fictionkin #there are probably more i could list but these were the ones that came to mind and could be relevant #alt/non

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 53 // spoilers

the analogy of between a crab and falling in love: what’s hidding in between all the sand that shima hides himself in?

this chapter kinda encapsulates a lot of unresolved plots and bring back things that were discussed before, as a way to, little by little, start to close shima’s arc on understanding his feelings. and, for my happiness (and for a lot of you guys reading me, i supposed), we finally had a confirmation that shima doesn’t quite understand or can’t even separate his feelings inside him, all because of his history with rejection, broken family, and the coldness of the ones around him. the boy, who tries to grasp his sandy feelings, who stubbornly kept slipping between his fingers, is finally dipping his toes in the ocean.

what mukai and shima discussed at the sauna is very important for a lot of things. not only for the present narrative, but for a context in general about how skip to loafer deals with feelings and love. instead of approaching a safe solution and going for the “she was the one who could save him”, takamatsu-senpai chose to go through the more complicated and bumpier road: she started to make her own characters question the idea of romantic love that was shoved down their (and ours) throat since they were born. 

is not that shima doesn’t love mitsumi — he just doesn’t understand the concept of romantic feelings or how everything “ends” with it (it was interesting to me how he said “ends”, the never-ending idea that romantic love is the final goal. it never “starts anything; it’s always “the end” of things). for him, everything falls in the same blurry and messed up category and end as easily as it started. however now, after years and years of being shutten down and used for people’s own selfish desires, shima is finally free to think and act for himself. but we don’t learn to swim at the bottom of the ocean: we need to start at the beach.

mukai telling shima that he’s often shutting people down and pushing people away without noticing was there for two main reasons, in my opinion: one, show a little more about mukai himself and his own feelings in relation to shima, a friend that he holds dear and wants to see opening up a little more, warming himself towards others; and two, to make shima start to question “what am i doing to the people that care about me?”. this is a trigger that sensei used to bring back a lot of important moments between shima and mitsumi and connect the dots inside his head. what i didn’t expect was that she would such beautiful analogy: a crab.

by swimming around their past, shima starts to ask himself: how does mitsumi feels about me. it’s funny how, even after all that conversation with mukai, he didn’t start with the obvious and questioned himself. he was thinking about her — about the other. what brough him back to his own heart was the girl herself, without both even realizing it.

grabbing the crab in the middle of it is the safest option. you’re protecting yourself of a possibility of being hurt and are able to maintain a safe distance from all the dangerous attributes of the crab. by always staying in the middle of his own feelings and never really going for the claws of his own mind, shima maintained his safety and “never got hurt” (and here i strictly mean hurt by his own ghosts, who he tried to deny instead of facing it). i mean, if he doesn’t move, they won’t be able to attack him. if he stays protected, there won’t be a necessity of changing what you know so well.

but…there’s always a first time, right? and i don’t mean this only for the act of holding a crab: this might be shima’s not only first time doing so, but also the first time he ever felt something different for someone — something more. something he never met before. 

and mitsumi, on the other hand, appear serene on his eyes. she did have her first time already — and was bitten by the crab. she was the one who put herself out there and risked being hurt. and, unfortunately, he was the one who made this happen. 

by shima’s reaction (the full-on blush), it’s easy to interpretate that he had some kind of realization and that…well...yeah it involves the crab. and mukai. and mitsumi. and the beach. and the ocean. and the sand, that he could never grasp before. what did he realize? he himself isn’t sure, as he tells mukai (“how was the crab?” “i don’t know). and, well, how can someone who has never seen a crab be so sure that what they are seeing is, in fact, a crab?

sensei made it clear, with all the words, with mukai being a sensei for a day: shima is, for the first time in his life, having to deal with a feeling that’s completely new and scary for him. romantic love isn’t easy. for a kid who grew watching his own understanding of romantic love (his parents) be so broken and twisted, romantic love is something that can only cause harm. so no, it’s not that he doesn’t understand love per se: he just doesn’t know how to approach it within himself. it’s up to him, now, if he's going to sing his hands in the sand and find the answer for all the questions he’s dealing with. 

as for my last words, what i want to remind everyone: no, it won’t be resolved so fast. not next chapter and, maybe, nor the next. i mean, why should it be? love, be it platonic or not, isn’t something to be forced out of someone. it’s something that requires more than a simple “yes or no”, something that doesn’t grow overnight. none of them are wrong. mitsumi never imposed something on him, she only did what her heart told her to do. shima never wanted to hurt her in some way — in fact, this is one of his biggest fears, up to now. they both are trying to understand themselves, the world, and the universe. they are in the apices of their teenage years, in the apices of committing mistakes for dumb reasons and for sealing peace with simplicity. they all have lot of different crabs with lot of different meanings hiding inside their particular beaches. it’s up to them if they are going to start digging it or not. 

and, as always, thank you thank you so much for reading what i have to say and my crazy rambling. i hope that we can now start a great discussion about it 💛 oh and people!! don't be afraid of talking to your crab — sometimes they know more bout us than ourselves 🦀

🌻 this analyze was originally posted on my twitter

#skip to loafer #skip and loafer #skip to loafer chapter 53 #this analyze feels like all my other analyzed compacted in one iofjasifja #i will never stop studying these kids #specially shima #shima I love you sm #as your mother I'm very proud #duckmetas

[weirdfishy]

bc of this post from @insertsanity529 and idk if the concept will make it into my fic

@thatboysgotwoah hey so. hereʻs a thing. a very loose thing but it is, nonetheless, A Thing. (a thing i didnʻt realize was 1k until Just Now WTF)

there is also a part 2 in the rbs :)

& an ao3 link with little bits added to it here and there

~

Hob is done with war and violence and terror and death and the blood on his hands, especially after that world war. (not The Great War. There never is anything great about war) Gods is he ready to put it all to rest.

He gets caught up in the arts, in preservation, in working for museums and its ilk— and some of those are old money heirs who, in addition to having taken their refuge in the arts, are connected to the occult and those old money circles. Some are young and their tongues are loose, their need to be useful and worth something presents in their pride of their heritage and what they come from, something already Grand.

So Hob hears about the Devil in Roderick Burgessʻ basement, about the lavish parties that are held at his manor in the countryside, about the cult Burgess has. And as he dusts off a sculpture, gloved fingers trailing down smooth marble, there's a likeness to the statueʻs half-worn face that reminds Hob of something–of someone. His stranger. Hob remembers asking if his stranger was the devil, if Shakespeare had given his soul, and a thought blooms in the back of his head. What if….?

But he shakes his head, finishes his restoration, cataloging, and storing. His stranger is enough to handle himself, Hob is sure, and he hardly thinks some fake occultist would be the one to contain…whatever his stranger may be.

He pats the young starry-eyed manʻs shoulder, before leaving, with a look backward too complicated to decipher by one so unknowing of war and death. Hob doesnʻt wish he knew of death and war and violence, would rather no one did, but it is separate things to glorify the thing you run from and to step back, searching for peace. Hob goes home and does not sleep until twilight, fitfully resting for a handful of hours.

The months pass. He hears of The Captured Devil occasionally, he goes to work, he cares for what was lovingly created in years past–much like himself–and he lends a hand when he can, to pick up what is left of boys and men with hazy eyes and empty hearts, knowing he was once the same (or still is, only buried deeper than one would think possible). He walks around town, for hours, looking almost kin to those plagued with sleeplessness, and he thinks, for a handful of moments, that death, life, and the in-between are all cruel in their own way.

Hob cannot stand the joyous life much anymore, too burdened with the reminders of death and those hanging between, and maybe that is why he does not go to a Burgess party. Maybe it is one of many excuses—he hasnʻt been invited (which has never stopped him before), his stranger is not the devil (people will call anything the devil these days), he needs to take care of himself damn it because no one else is and he doesnʻt ever let himself waste away after something like this if he can bloody well help it.

Then it's the weekend after Christmas of 1926, and Hob has finally found solid ground. Heʻs laughingly invited to the Burgess House by a very proud son of Burgessʻ group, their department out for drinks. Hob, who has always turned down invitations with a distracting call for another round on him, actually accepts the invitation, asking for details while the lad is half drunk and everyone is booing him, their unclever ploy for more drinks waved away. Hob buys that round anyway, but he does leave with the details written upon a formal invitation.

He goes, fashionably late and fashionably dressed, a simple deep blue–almost black, really–with silver detailing of the cosmos on the outside of his jacket, those stars falling to scatter on the upper half of his pant legs—like the sky is dripping to the earth. Hob blends in, smiles and drinks lightly, meets with the head of house with a boisterous introduction from his coworker who has obviously drank from a fair few cups already. The man, Roderick Burgess, stares at him, eyes like polished steel.

Something Hobʻs coworker says, about Hob not believing in The Devil in Burgessʻ basement, makes Burgess tilt his head and raise an eyebrow. Hob only tilts his own just so in return– what of a supernatural devil when humans are devilish enough? War is man-made, and man-taking.

His words make Roderick Burgess study him intently, and thereʻs a flicker of what Hob knows to be a decision of kinship in those eyes. Hob doesnʻt like that one bit. Burgess nods and waves to follow him, passing off Hobʻs coworker to be sat down by his father.

Hob is led into the basement, cold and wet. He stays one step behind the man—a child moreso than his green coworker in Hobʻs eyes, playing with things not meant to be disturbed—and is grateful for it when he sees what is in the middle of the room.

Hob wants to retch on the spot, remembering the paper his coworker had brought in last week that said Burgess has had his Stranger in this basement since 1916. Yet Hob goes deathly controlled, calm, and intensely observant.

He drops his jaw and gasps, letting the man crow and tell him what he hopes to get from his prisoner, of how Hob must understand, he saw the loss in his eyes. Hob goes up to the marble, eyes searching for an exit as he walks around the binding circle heʻs been forbidden from crossing. He finds a hairline square at the back of it, with the tiniest notch—a door. His eyes shine, and he lets Burgess think it's from wonder, from the chance of reviving a lost loved one.

He hopes his head shake lets his Stranger know that heʻs crying for him, that he will get him out, he swears. Hob takes in the way Burgess laughs at his Stranger for being curious to a newcomer, turning in his glass prison. Catching his strangerʻs eye, he speaks his first language, something old and forgotten by nought but him–his grandmotherʻs tongue–and makes that promise, saying it was a phrase of wonderment and appraisal. Burgess puffs his chest out and waves him away from the prison, chuckling good-naturedly. Hob shakes Burgessʻ hand, clapping him on the back on the way out, casting a long glance backward before he has to ascend the stairs.

Guilt is tearing at his throat, chewing at his stomach and knotting his intestines, but Hob can deal with that after his Stranger is free, and the Burgess Manor is burned to the ground.

#oh lord #the sandman #dreamling #hob gadling #fanfiction #fishbowl rescue #angst #i wrote this straight and i havenʻt reread it so enjoy or whatever #oh gods iʻm on a dreamling angst writing kick huh #i do call the fishbowl a marble though #fishbowls have openings for air #i had a fashion au once….hence the unnecessary description of hob’s clothes 💀 #part two in the rbs :)

[emblazons]

I'm the last anon. I forgot to point something.

Do you think Henry stating that Brenner wasn't a monster but just an ordinary man seeking for special things in other people can make El realize Mike isn't her savior but just an ordinary boy who admire others for what make them different?

Not trying to say Mike and Brenner are the same, but they do have been paralleling/contrasting each other. Mike is a good person and has good intentions, but his insistence in seeing El as superior is not good for her nor to their relationship.

!!! okay I finally got a chance to answer this—and yes, I absolutely think those two ideas are meant to be connected for her (though I'm not sure she's parsed them out yet). Its one of the first thoughts I had watching part ii as a little-deeper than GA way back in July of 2022, so...its not even my ongoing analysis brain that brought it up (though its definitely expanded since then lol). Let me see if I can explain.

forewarning: this is really long and probably the most brutal anti-mlvn post I've ever written. It is not intended to be cruel to Mike in the slightest, but. In order to talk through the narrative, I must address what is going on in El's mind, and tbh...it's not all that pleasant in anyone's direction but Max's & maybe Hopper's at this point.

The entirety of S4, El is repeatedly presented with people attempting to challenge her oversimplified and depressed sense of self and others, given that, in the time since she's lost Hopper, her first home, her friends and her powers, she's been desperately trying (and failing) to sort through her place in the world.

Please note that the depression part is absolutely critical...because it's how Vecna can so easily influence her thinking, both via what she sees in NINA memories and during his monologue to her in Piggyback scenes.

We see her do it with Mike:

We see her do it with Brenner:

And we see her do with with Henry/Vecna:

—and as she goes along learning from each, we watch her come in contact with more nuanced (potential) self-concepts each time.

With Mike, she gets a fellow 14 year old with no framework for powers trying to navigate El's complex existential crisis he's spent several months unaware of and has no equivalent context for—which is why he pulls on her being a "superhero" so much. Its how he understands her, and what has been most obvious to him over the years; she's saved him, saved Will, and saved Hawkins in just the few years he's known her, and that (in his very nerd-oriented mind) is something worth celebrating and being excited about, even in people who don't have superpowers.

For him, El is not a "tool" necessarily...but the oversimple "superhero" side of her certainly overshadows the rest for him. Its why they struggle so hard in a "normal" romantic relationship—interpersonal closeness and emotional intimacy isn't what their bond is built on, though they do care for and want to protect one another.

With Brenner, she gets a more mature (and yet still power-focused) person who is familiar with her powers and past enough to give more nuanced insight, but who is also 1) abusive, manipulative and selfish and 2) has never looked at El, Henry or the other numbers as human beings, but rather tools to accomplish goals. Even so, Brenner is an adult, and therefore understands that El cannot move forward understanding herself so simply because his own actions require complex jumps and justification to make sense to himself—

—and also because, as anyone who has see themselves change over time knows, we do not keep the same oversimple self-concept of ourselves as we age, make mistakes, and grow. Brenner sees the girl with powers, and knows what she's capable of...just like he (and Owens, honestly) knows that she is not truly evil or monstrous despite having great destructive capability. The "monster" in him though is very human-oriented...which is why El so often finds herself associating Mike's insecurities within Brenner's manipulation.

Disclaimer: that last sounded bad for Mike, but: he is literally 14, and not trying to manipulate or abuse El in any way, shape, or form. Mike Wheeler is really just insecure kid who makes mistakes thrust into an extremely unusual situation, trying to do his best with the knowledge he has. Even so...immature and under-informed people often do things that mirror mature people with legitimately cruel intentions—one is just an adult aware & intentional about the tactic, where the other is a boy who isn't.

With Henry/Vecna though, El finds an true equal, but as a foil—the actual "monster" to her "superhero," though we spend the entire season realizing that even Henry cannot be parsed down to something so remedial or one-note as "monster" either.

Henry is someone who is almost exactly like El, down her powers and being abused/manipulated by Brenner—though she's made different choices, which is the radical difference between the two of them (and one I think will be core for her to learn as we move into S5).

While Henry and El are in fact quite identical in many ways, its the choice El made to say "no" to Henry when he asked her to join her + her resistance of his desire to overpower others (which he himself notes)—on top of her desire to protect others' lives and autonomy in a way he does not that makes her good!different, rather than the bad!different Henry is.

Even so...the similarities of experience and struggle they've had at Brenner's hands make what he says resonate with Eleven—because, as we all know, some of the best villains are the ones whose concept has clear mirroring within the protagonist, only a shade off (think Killmonger and Black Panther).

Its pretty clear then, why this long lead up through Mike, Brenner and Henry presenting her with increasingly complex concepts of self & humanity would make her reflect on Mike (+ their relationship).

From the beginning, Mike' finding El and taking her in first fits him (for better or worse) squarely into the "males whose presence in my life has been formative" corner—which is why we get Mike/Hopper, Hopper/Brenner and Mike/Brenner comparisons/parallels throughout course of the show this paragraph deserves a whole post on its own, but I'm trying to stay on track here lmfao.

Its also why this line in particular (and, finally, to your point) serves as a brutal reminder that El and Mike are incompatible—not because Mike himself is doing anything to harm El, but because Mike, like Brenner for her and Henry, 1) focuses on her powers and 2) has no framework for understanding her feeling different the way she wants (and needs) to be understood.

Given that El has already confronted Papa (and left him to die for what he's done to her) and she believes Hopper is already dead—

the only person left (truly guilty or not) in the line of people who 1) were integral to forming El's understanding the world; 2) tried to tell her how she should use her powers; 3) put up resistance to her autonomy; 4) lied to her and 5) could not understand her in her difference...is Mike Wheeler—

—who she already disappointed with, who is entirely unaware any of this shit is happening within her, and who is also being encouraged by an only slightly less unaware (and in love) Will Byers to "be the heart" and lead the party like he would a campaign.

...these are also the circumstances we get this supposedly "romantic monologue" in...and where we see him reference (and remind El) not only the moment he took her in (aka ended up in one of the inadvertent authority positions she's currently rebelling against), but also the fact that he thinks she's a "superhero," (which she doesn't believe about herself after Henry's monologue).

It's no wonder then, why she seemed uncomfortable af with all he said during the entire monologue...or why she ignored him the rest of the season (except, we learn, to say to Mike that Brenner—someone she can't stand, and who she's now spent a solid chunk of this season internally associating him with—was right).

Basically: the fact that a deeply conflicted and depressed El found kinship with a manipulative Henry (while simultaneously feeling rage at Brenner...and Mike by PTSD association) means that the displeasure she feels at Brenner and everything is gonna come out at another figure who has mirrored the things she is rebelling against—her very unaware boyfriend, Mike.

Hopper isn't there to balance as a "positive" adult male perception for her either...which leaves Mike in the wildly unfair position of being the "last man standing" for the parallel sadness & rage El feels about being different, much like Henry.

That is why Vecna saying that Brenner was an "ordinary, mediocre man" now has an immediate association with Mike in El's mind...one that is just another nail in the coffin of their romance, and that she will have to pull out of her perception if they're going to heal even on a friend level from the disaster this season has created in S5.

—I will say that the presence of Max as contrast through all of these moments is critical, as Max is the one person who has asked her who she is and what she wants, as well as who parallels El signs of internal conundrum about how she sees herself (that El overhears when she enters the void). Max is also the one who reminds El of the autonomy and positive human identity that El so wants for herself.

Hopper coming back and reclaiming the spot as a positive (actual) father figure that El has been projecting onto Mike in his absence is critical as well, considering his presence (and knowledge of Mike) will likely temper the brutality El is directs at Mike in her weakest moments of the season too). But...that is a whole other post, and I've already written (another) novel.

#this got so long but I NEEDED to give the whole framework to be fair to how we got there. at leastin my mind lmao #also...yeah this is a much more thematically dense post than my usual ones just fyi #anti mlvn #el hopper #mike wheeler #martin brenner #henry creel #vecna #my st commentary #my s4 rewatch #because that's what got me to this point haha #stranger things #parentified mike

[kookaburra1701]

Writerly Thumbprint Challenge~

Rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. what are five (or more!) narrative elements, themes, topics or tropes that continuously pop up in your work?

Tagged by @thana-topsy ❤️❤️❤️

For all of the nattering I do at my friends about my fics, I really had to think about this, (unless I just wanted it to be a list of all my favorite fanfic tropes.)

(Which I kind of do so they will come rapid-fire at the end hehehehe)

Crisis of Faith - At some point, at least one of my characters will have to question everything they've been taught or thought about the Way the Universe Works. This may be a crisis of actual religious faith, or in the way they view abstract concepts like Truth or Justice, or in the way they view some institution or authority figure. Unlike some of the themes that follow, I know exactly where this one comes from. See, I grew up in a very fundamentalist house hold. Like speaking in tongues, the earth is 5000 years old, and having an erotic dream is just as sinful as sex type of fundamentalist house hold. I even went to a religious college and learned some Latin and Greek to try to figure out which Christian denomination was The One True Church. I graduated from that religious college with straight As in all my theology/religion courses and new found atheism. So, crises of faith and deconversion arcs are very compelling to me, but I really love exploring what a deconversion/reaffirmation of faith means in the context of worlds where there is incontrovertible evidence that the gods/divine/supernatural do actually exist. I suppose it's a little bit of wish fulfillment - sometimes it would be nice to have the comfort of religion again, but that's a bell that can't be un-rung, at least for me. Tropes that come out of this that I loooooooove: -baptism imagery -oracles/prophecy -martyrdom -pretty men tied up and tortured (I'm not sure whether going to church and being SURROUNDED by the kinkinest goddamn fetish art of various saints dying horribly changed my brain chemistry or whether my brain was always That Way and the visuals just made it bearable but either way.)

The Universe Doesn't Give a Shit About You, but I do - this is the second part of the Crisis of Faith. The Protagonist has realized that searching for meaning outside of themselves is pointless, and that in the face of an implacable, uncaring void the only way to find meaning is within oneself and in the connections forged with fellow beings.

The Crucible - I love angst. I...honestly cannot think of a time that I wanted to do something horrible to a character and toned it down before publishing a fic. But I really want it to have a point - I want my characters to go through hell and back, to be completely destroyed, remade, but also to come out the other side changed when they shed all the extraneous things and discover what their essential inner essence is.

Hidden Depths - in this case I'm not referring to the main protagonist discovering their inner strength; to me that is part and parcel of The Crucible. What I just eat up with a spoon and love writing is secondary characters, minor characters, and especially antagonists revealing some of their inner world and it surprising the hell out of everyone. The taciturn swordsman turns out to actually be really good at sewing. The logical scholar loves romance, etc. It can be hard to not have this end up being a deus ex machina crutch to resolve corners I've written myself into, but some of the best times of my life have been when I've discovered something I didn't know about someone I've known for years and they bust it out just when we need it (usually final jeopardy round at pub trivia) I want my protagonist to suddenly see every previous interaction with that person in a new light because they've now glimpsed the Hidden Deep.

Cleansing, or in other (Greek) words Catharsis - Someone somewhere is going to end up in a bathtub. Getting scrubbed. Usually this physical vulnerability will mirror the emotional vulnerability between the scrubber and the scrub-ee. It's also a really fun place for smut.

Sanctuary - in real life, after we've gone through the Crucible to achieve our Catharsis we rarely get a chance to breathe. The activities of daily living still require our attention: pets must be fed, jobs must be reported to, taxes must be paid. But something that almost always happens in my stories after the big resolution is that circumstances contrive to give my characters a physical place where they do not have to worry about keeping themselves fed or housed while tying up loose ends. They've ended up in a secure environment separated from the rest of the world. They always end up having to leave this place, and do so willingly, but the time they spend in it gives them space to come to terms with the events that came before, and plan out their next steps, without the pressures of the outside world. This has taken the form of a temple, a spaceship, and a giant tree in various fics. And then, of course, there's this that might as well be a personal attack:

I tag @gilgamish @moriche

#tag game #writing #self reflection

[windvexer]

hello there, I need some help. years ago, when I was younger, I used to practice my craft a lot... and I was good at it! manifesting my spells came so easily to me. but thanks to several factors, clinical depression among them, I abandoned witchcraft, and now that I'm trying to reconnect with it I'm finding it extremely hard to cast spells again. even the simplest ritual takes so much from me. and thanks to my depression, I'll sometimes put things down for weeks or months, and when I come back to it I feel like I'm starting from the beginning all over again. do you have any advice for me? thank you so much.

I'm sorry you've gone through this. I hope you can take comfort in the fact that your story is not uncommon. As we grow, our paths grow. What used to work may work for us no longer.

That is both a thrilling adventure and a grumpy realization:

we are not only free to constantly evolve in a direction inherently true to us, like clouds billowing across an infinite sky and swirling into storms and mists as it suits us;

but we must, or we lose the beauty of what brought us to this ethereal place.

Concepts of fatigue and witchcraft have been heavy on my mind this past year. I have already written things which may be of use to you:

growth in witchcraft as shedding of snake-skin

An essay on why we all get so fatigued trying to do witchcraft, and some ideas on what to do about it.

Okay, so you want to practice every day?

Ask: Revitalizing practice after dry periods

So I'm feeling a little down

why are some divination questions more difficult to interpret? why does divination make you tired? (illustrated edition)

My biggest advice to you is to very much question how your spells and rituals are powered and to explore methods, even ones radically different from what you are used to, that allow you to connect with your faith and sorcerous intent in a way that drains you so much less.

#answered

[t-aeddie]

so, i've been headcannoning in my head for my post-spawn astarion & redeemed dark urge (durge) ending ever since i read the van richten's sourcebook and dhampir are a d&d thing.

summary: parenthood and family is very scary to both. durge's concept of family and parenthood is what they learned from being a bhaalspawn. astarion doesn't remember his past before becoming a vampire, so his concept of family is what he had with cazador. they are literally scared of screwing up as parents and they want to give their dhampir child the healthy family they deserve and not the toxicity that their parent grew up with.

the long bullet point version:

important to note before sharing here's a few things about my oc durge:

she was born and raised in menzoberranzan before going on the surface when she had an awakening to her urges and growing up as a bhaalspawn

when she lost her memories, the only thing she vaguely remembered was her childhood as a lolth-sworn drow. i went with her turning into a full-fledged bhaalspawn in her teens.

that being said, the headcannon i was thinking about was about parenthood and an accidental miracle dhampir.

firstly, i don't think that my durge would accept the pregnancy and will hide it from astarion.

she would go as far as denying astarion to drink from her, because she fears he would find out that she is pregnant by sipping on her blood.

she fears being a mother, because she didn't grow up with good mother figures in the underdark. she didn't grow up with a good father either. she knows that her parents were toxic and she doesn't want to repeat the cycle

she also is so scared because she would feel so guilty if the child turned out a bhaalspawn. "what if my father who abandoned me after i told him that i didn't want to be his chosen tries to claim my baby".

as much as she doesn't want the child initially, she doesn't want to terminate it. little by little she feels that connection with her baby. but it takes time. a lot of time.

meanwhile, astarion knows that there is something going on, but he doesn't want to push her into confessing. he comforts her when she is crying and gives her time.

he is very big on consent and boundaries so he doesn't force her to let him drink blood. his diet animal-based until she opens up about what is wrong. when she does open up, he does not really drink from her because he worries that it would impact her health and the baby.

when he finds out, he is surprised, but he is happy. he wants to keep the child, but he doesn't want to force the love of his life to give birth. (i seriously think that spawn!astarion would never force his lover into giving birth based on his story)

he goes from being protective to quite overprotective. he is scared of being a father. he is even more scared by the fact that he spent 200 years with cazador who played family. astarion goes out of his way to learn about how to be a good father.

i see astarion as someone who would read stories to the bump. especially about drizzt. how great is it that his child is going to be half-drow dhampir.

but, then, he realizes that his child might end up being heavily discriminated against because of the fact that they are going to be a half-drow dhampir. the thought makes him want to shield his baby from the whole world.

he calls the baby his little blessing (dhampirs are canonically rare).

astarion is constantly sewing and embroidering clothes for his little blessing to come throughout the pregnancy.

i can see him monitoring durge to be sure that she is safe, healthy and comfortable. he does not like seeing her in pain. (and if you played through the durge story, you just know how astarion is quick to notice that something is wrong and is so comforting and supportive)

they are both very terrified future parents and they want to give their future child the love, safety and care they deserve, because they did not exactly have that (durge growing up killing other bhaalspawns or being a slave to bhaal / astarion having to live 200 years with his "father" cazador and his spawn siblings).

happier pregnancy headcanons: durge wants the baby's name to be related to the moon. astarion is her star and her baby is her little moon.

astarion probably owns all the parenting books published in faerun.

astarion constantly touching the bump even before it's really showing especially when they are both in bed.

durge making a joke that astarion is taking on the night shift when the baby is born. while astarion laughs at the terrible joke, he actually is considering taking care of the baby at night so that the love of his life can rest.

...now, i wonder what kind of uncles and aunts lae'zel, karlach, wyll, gale and shadowheart are going to be.

#astarion headcannons #i just wanted to save these somewhere #i'm not that good of a write sorry #my durge #astarion

[keepers-archive]

Shard Theory: Introduction (Pt. 1)

Shard theory is a theory I've been working on and developing since beginning my practice with energy work, meditation, and projection a little over three years ago. The underlying ideas for shard theory are as follows: 1) The Self and the soul are not realized through fully internal means, they rely on outsourcing as much as they do insourcing. 2) The soul is living, and like all living things, it expires. Expired souls do not lose their substance or fade to nothingness; much like carcasses of animals feed the forest, dying souls feed a wide ecosystem of both souled and unsouled existences. 3) Much like we can use our spiritual senses- 'claire-senses' as they are coming to be known- to interpret and interact with energy in psychometric ways, our souls can derive meaning from the souls of others, even souls that have passed. 4) A dead soul fragmentalizes. I'm unsure of the logic behind a souls fracturing and I can't predict the shapes it will break into, but it does not remain whole. Pieces of it are transmuted, consumed, and given purpose beyond life. The remains of a dead soul are incomplete, and they will not reform into the structure they previously possessed. There are minor exceptions to this, I'm sure, but I've not seen a case of complete recovery before. 5) Souls, upon birth and conception, use the presence of fragmented souls to catalyze their own growth. They take what is familiar and they use it as food; very similarly to how a plant or animal would. Souls are like stars in that they are clusters of mass that have acquired a sufficient density and composition to take a new form.

I'm going to work on a part two that gets into how these ideas and shard theory tie into incarnation, past lives, soul identity, etc. For now, here's a summary of what shard theory is beyond these ideas. It's the supposition that souls are like bodies that gather around the Self. Souls depend on a sentient 'core', they thrive once sapient, and become increasingly complex once conscious. Sentience is the ability to connect ideas and establish large patterns of thinking. Sapience is the introduction of absurd and emotional thinking. Consciousness is the capacity for self reflection and awareness of the Self, consciousness allows for one to realize how they are different from the things around them and create a nearly impenetrable divide between that which is and is not you. There's more I want to say here but my passion for writing this all out is fading and it's been a few days since I thought it was a good idea, once again, will continue in a part two that will explore the narrative of a human soul's development.

#souls #soul work #energy #energy work #spirituality #astral #astral because c'mon please understand this if you're going to be out there interacting with other souls #feel free to tell me you think i'm wrong or missed something #i enjoy discussion and am 100% open to it

[basedkikuenjoyer]

The mood feels right, it's that time without light. Who's up for a lil late-night Togashiposting? Because there's one that has me thinking about a few concepts we've been on about. Which means we get to talk baby's first foxboy blorbo again. This was always one of my better posts that still generates interest today, but for the basic idea we talk a lot about the Akazaya as throwbacks and particularly Okiku's ties to Eiichiro Oda's own history on Rurouni Kenshin. There was another two-faced redhead in popular manga at the time, and we get Oda referencing the iconic clash with Game Master in interviews as a big moment he liked. But also just in One Piece canon it's interesting how Ryokugyu with a similar power intersects with Kiku's tale to bolster the connection. Likewise with the parallel story of the thieving fox spirit and how it intersects with Kiku's past.

For this part of our examination though, we're going to look through the lens of another meta concept we've been on about. Poking at the nature of "filler" and how much strict canon really matters? This is the finale of Kurama's last fight in the anime, something really glossed over in the manga as YuYu Hakusho tragically came to a close in the hurried Three Kings Saga. To me though, the anime at least salvages this arc into a worthy conclusion. I don't actually mind the idea of our quartet squaring off their personal arcs underneath the bigger show of the Makai Tournament. Kurama's fight with Shigure is so well done for that. One thing you have to give me, being filler or noncanonical is not an impediment to being an inspiration or an influence on someone else later.

The whole fight is a great finale for Kurama & his demonic past. We meet him distanced from it, they're reconnected in the Dark Tournament, he embraces it to answer the call in Chapter Black...then here after reconciling it he rejects the old self. Importantly though, he only wins through taking advantage of seeds planted by his old self. I love the final line to Yomi about it "I never leave anything behind." That reconciliation of past and present for a brighter future is where I really see Kiku picking up this torch. Himura Kenshin has a lot of similarities in his arc, but Kurama's with themes of reincarnation and parent/child bonds feel like the ways this gentle redhead seeped in. Of course, Kiku is still her own take on the idea. The trans aspect and cloaking it in a lady caring about her reputation is an excellent evolution.

Can't ignore the antagonist here either, this is why I was thinking this part in particular after all. A surgeon with a samurai vibe, choosing an honorable death after defeat. The way Shigure shaped the tone of this climax for foxboy's saga was giving me some big feelings. I honestly haven't rewatched the Three Kings Arc in years. The montage of core scenes though, showing us how Kurama grew into someone so willing to choose this new life, it had a big one I didn't really think about in this context:

How it all starts between he & Yusuke the MC. The story of the Forlorn Hope. That dub name is way cooler because the Funimation dub of the YuYu anime is a national treasure. But yeah...that's where this entire relationship started. It's an artifact that demands the user's life to grant a wish. An empty, unfulfilled Kurama was so casually willing to throw his life away to return a mother's love...without getting the point. Too busy turning over every possibility he hasn't realized how much he's grown. There's no way his mother would be happy with that trade because she doesn't see some legendary thieving fox demon...and if you told her she'd probably just say that explains a lot.

How does Yusuke solve it? Stepping in and sharing the burden. Very similar tone we'd see later with Usopp and the samurai. Even with the little dash of levity and that fine line between nobility and senseless self-sacrifice. Not to mention the big moment of Kiku's fall being Kin's final push to evolve and strike down Kanjuro. That's not unique to YYH but it's one of the biggest pillars of that series. But Bakura Town ends up being a lot like this in tone. The sumo match. Luffy jumps in because Kiku's putting her body on the line to amp up the crowd's panic. The two working together, Luffy stepping up and playing the hero for a moment, opens a new path. Just like the Forlorn Hope here and it letting them slide for being such good boys.

Then from there Kurama's story arc has the same structure we'll see out of Kiku later and Himura Kenshin around the same time. You've come so far by the time we meet you that we can do an arc about confronting that past. But that story can't end with going back to it, can it? No matter what it may mean, it's still so wild for me to see this connection over time. Kurama really was one of my first major anime characters I could latch onto and I've been a One Piece fan for so long. Just can't believe the cutesy waitress we met early Wano had all this in store.

#yu yu hakusho #one piece #eiichiro oda #yoshihiro togashi #late night togashiposting #okiku #kurama

[trinkerichi]

TEKVENTURES! I wanna ramble about Tekventures.

if you remember them you qualify for a veterans discount

So they were Sgt.Frog ocs that my best friend SARAZA and I made on flipnote for edgy amvs and comics. I wanna say I wassss 13? give or take. But these little guys were my EVERYTHING. We thought of a billion stories about them. Then I got sick of drawing frogs eventually and wanted to make them more of an original thing. Our first sketches were of anthro goats, but over time with my style changes, an the fact that I hate spending more than 2 seconds drawing anything, they no longer resemble any specific animal and turned into fuzzy nondescript species of alien thing. ANYWAY I wanted to make them into a "real comic series" when i was 17. That's when I started the chapters that are still up on tumblr n webtoons! and a few other sites probably that I forgot about.

I've been harsh on it in the past but honestly I still love it to bits. What's there is a solid little comic and i still think it's adorable!

The only thing is, that's judging it based on what's there. It's a basis for a cute episodic thing with low stakes! Like the early mlp fim episodes or the new care bears cartoon. But that's NOT what it was planned for in the long term. Oh no, I was so ambitious. I had at LEAST 50 episodes planned which would weave together into this massive arc that would introduce other space teams, wayward space travelers with secret pasts connecting to the main cast, sad backstories for everyone, ALL of the family members of the main cast, a villian team with like... 'anti-versions' of the main cast, and a dramatically foreshadowed final confrontation with robot clones that want to destroy their planet. OH AND ROBIN too! Besides all that, they ALSO have multiple side story episodes about crashing to earth and befriending a human girl named Robin who has to keep them secret.

That might have been um. a lot.

But when you start writing a story with your best friend when you're 13 you most likely have NO CONCEPT of "too much". Who am I kidding I STILL have trouble pacing myself. But when you come up with a story it's hard not to think it's just GOLD! And that you've gotta keep it no matter what! Because that stuff is fun!

I went full force into the comic in my senior year of highschool and eventually I finished the first chapter! It took me a year. And then I looked at my plans for the other 49 episodes and thought "maybe I need to rework some things.."

I rebooted the comic once, tried making smaller stories, all that, but I wasn't quite feeling the same drive anymore. I realized I was comparing my work to high budget tv shows with like. a full team of writers and artists. and studio funding. and greenlit seasons and all that. And it was making me feel TERRIBLE about my art!

So I quit comics! I started hating comics! I hated how long they took and how restricted I felt (with my own expectations) and I lost my confidence in finishing projects because I was so sad about giving up on my big magnum opus. and I just kinda gave up and started only doing fandom art for a couple years. I did a jyushimatsu ask blog and kept it up for ages! And then a new season of Osomatsu came out and I realized when comparing it that I was basically writing an oc at this point. And that I CAN commit to long term projects if i dont get self conscious about it!

I still didnt wanna jump into comics again. But I thought of some new characters that I was becoming attached to. the very very beginnings of what could turn into a new idea.

I thought "well i still love cartoons about space! even if im not making tekventures anymore maybe i could do another space story. a really tiny one."

so i started making an rpgmaker game! and it started taking forever. so in the meantime i made a really rough doodle comic about how the characters first met. as a little side story thing.

and THAT was the key. I had to stop thinking about it like i was making a big cool tv show and starting my career and all that. its just a fun thing, off the cuff, not overthinking it, just for fun and personal expression.

so im still going with it! and its GREAT! Rocket chip has 12 planned chapters, and I'll be halfway done by the end of the year.

But BOY did it take me forever to learn that.

#trinket rambles

[vitamntea]

Hey guys, Teacup here.

I’d greatly appreciate if you took the time to read this but it’s okay if you don’t. :)

I’ve been asked this a lot in the past but I feel I should officially address it because it is indeed a very weird coincidence. And it’s honestly a bit laughable at the end of the day… but I can’t help but feel a little bothered because it still goes on.

Over the years of shipping Jiara/Ivyfrost as an oc x canon pairing, I’ve heard the Kiara-Katherine comparison many many times, and I just want to clear the air. I’ve never read the Guardians books, so I know absolutely nothing about Katherine other than she portrays Mother Goose (which I Googled out of curiosity). I believe the visual resemblance between my character Kiara and Katherine was brought to my attention a couple years ago in DeviantArt, where an individual approached me and asked why I based an original character off of a book character. I was genuinely confused as to who she was referring to… but it was solved smoothly. There was no issue at all. They were super chill and understanding.

Another funny comparison I discover upon joining tumblr in 2020 was that Jiara was the name of another ship from a TV series, which I’m sure many may be familiar with. “Outer Banks” is currently one of my favorite shows, but it was slightly shocking how much Kiara Carrera and JJ Maybanks bore resemblance to my little pairing of Kiara Ivy and Jack Frost.

The last one that took me by surprise was a Dramione reference, from a friend on Instagram. To say the least, I didn’t think about it until it was brought to my attention. But I accept it 😂

But I want to reiterate this:

Kiara Ivy is my main original character, based on myself and my life experiences. I grew up adding to this story, learning lessons of my own. And then eventually Kiara became her own concept and I decided I wanted to build a universe around that.

Kiara is 1000000000% original and a product of ideas I have had over the past few years. I plan to write a book and produce a homemade TV series about this storyline. She is written in a canon universe based around dark fairytale lore and mythology. Yes, this concept of mine was inspired by the movie ROTG, but again I’ve never read the books and hadn’t even heard of them until I joined Tumblr and DeviantArt a few years ago.

Comparisons will always be made, no matter what. We perceive things based on our own interests and perspectives. And it’s kind of funny how we draw connections in different places.

***I’ll prolly go back and edit this a few more times so expect changes in the future. ***

Again, thank you for taking the time to read this. It was a funny coincidence to realize my pairing bears resemblance to so many other couples but I also hope those who appreciate Kiara x Jack content are not mistaking it for another couple. :)

#kiara ivy #my characters #kiara is not Katherine #jiara is not jatherine #purely coincidental #jackfrost #character art #ivyfrost #jack frost #jiaraship #jackfrostxkiaraivy #kiaraivy #oc #thank you

[marinecorvid]

2.21.23 (but actually drawn at least a month ago - and now posted 6.2.23) - some xy fic sketches. rambles beneath the cut

.

in my Great Fanfiction Rewrite of the (X)Y plot because it was sadly lacking in some places, Calem/Xavier kinda sorta joins Team Flare! To be honest this isn't my 100% original idea, I saw someone post once on here somewhere how cool it would've been if your rival, frustrated with constantly losing to you, joined Team Flare in desperation to beat you. I have taken this concept and am running with it. Xavier in my story Did Not take kindly to losing the Mega Ring to Yvonne: a rookie trainer, a girl, a girl who doesn't fall into his preconceived notions of what a young female trainer should be like, a girl he initially assumed he would be in a relationship with and he'd be the tough trainer in contrast to her contest abilities, someone from a poorer family from his. He gets uhh a little wild trying to prove his might makes right (deeply sheltered child who was never exposed to anything that would upset him syndrome)

In my head Y is the canon, but I'm doing a ramshackle combo into a tentative Z in which Yvonne and Yveltal fight Lysandre together, but also Xavier and Xerneas at some point and Zygarde is there too as a result of Team Flare managing to find BOTH legendaries (who in the anime were depicted as being right on top of each other) but only figuring out how to use Yveltal in the Ultimate Weapon. Xavier steals the Poke Flute and uses it to wake Xerneas (willingly or not - he's irrational, but IDK how down he'd be for the "destroy the world" plot, but Xerneas DEFINITELY uses ~fairy powers~ to fuck with his mind)

Yvonne has vitiligo! Dyes her hair blonde for the first halfish of the game, lets it grow out to its natural brown as a symbolic representation of not wanting to conform to certain beauty standards. She starts wearing very snazzy suits post-game, avoiding short sleeves and skirts

My HC is that Sycamore is her da! He and Grace were an item back in the day when Grace was in Kalos Rhyhorn racing, and she only realized she was pregnant when she'd already left. Sycamore didn't feel ready at all to be an active father, and Grace didn't feel any strong need to be in a relationship with him/have him be a part of Yvonne's life with a strong circle of friends and family who'd help with childrearing, so he stayed in Kalos and continued his work on evolution and Fairy Types in Kalos, every other month or so receiving an email of an update of Yvonne's life in progress. Eventually Grace's racing injuries/chronic pain is too debilitating to continue racing, and Sycamore offers his grandparents' cottage in the starting town. Yvonne knows her father is an academic/scientist in Kalos but doesn't know it's him, and doesn't want to know until she's more comfortable in the region. She DOES start to suspect though, but only confirms it mid/post-Geosenge crisis (haven't decided how long that's drawn out) in a hospital bed. Sycamore (after years of watching his daughter grow up from afar, and has become more invested in her life in the past few years) is delighted that she's willing have a familial connection

a lot of people draw Yveltal as a bird (super cool, no judgement) but it's very dragon-y to me with the hands/wings, kinda like how bat wings are just elongated fingers with skin between them. The logic of the tail eludes me though. It's Yvonne's buddy post game! As much as she does not want it to be her buddy! But when a super powerful ancient deity of death decides it wants to be your friend there's not a lot you can do to stop it. She warms up to it eventually. They have a fun time threatening Malva together

Korrina is a sports lesbian

Shauna slight redesign. She and Yvonne become an item around Laverre. In my story there's a cool Ren Faire-ish thing happening when they arrive and they both get a little tipsy and kiss and spend the evening running around in semi-accurate reenactment dresses giggling and dancing and giving each other wildflowers

Gogoat =)

#pokemon #xy #gen 6 #serena #yvonne #calem #xavier #yveltal #sketch #my art #this has been languishing in my drafts long enough

[afrofuturisticeyes]

I had been introduced to Afrofuturism a couple of years ago through a music video director Chelsea Odufu at a school event. Her works focus on Afrofuturisism andd she carries those elements in various different visual aspects. She focused on a video she directed for Masego, an artist I have listened to before. She showed us the music video and discussed Masego’s percussion being an old African instrument that was integral to his music and to the visual she created. It was very small details that she focused on, it was fascinating to see the explanations for her creativity. Her discussion of Afrofuturism and how she has made a career out of it piqued my interest. I remember she said that afrofuturism allows for Black people to express themselves freely without the fear of judgement and connecting back to their ancestors. As I’m a spiritual person and Mexican, I found the statement of reconnecting with their ancestors incredibly moving because in my culture, we try to do the same by honoring the foods, activities, locations, etc that our past ancestors loved. That’s why I enrolled into this course when I saw it was open. I keep hearing Afro-futurism be used online so I know it’s important to people and the expression of African stories in science fiction realms. I have little to no background on futurism aside from what I learned that day, which was the intersections of history and future.

With the few weeks of being in this class, I have realized that Afro-futurism isn’t only shown in visual aspects, but it is in music through sounds and in literature by words and thoughts. It’s also in movies through actions and behaviors, it is a lot bigger than what I thought it was. We were told afrofuturism is not exclusive to African people only, which I found interesting as that is what I mostly see online but I do understand the main concept of it being used cross cultures.

I’m excited to learn more about how Afro-futurism has helped with the expression of stories in the past and in current times. Science fiction has always been one of my favorite genres of movies and books, so I’m excited to add in another element to sci-fi media that I engage in. Although I will have to learn to manage time as though this class gives us the luxury of being asynchronous, it is heavy in content that it has been hard to balance with my research courses. However, I’m excited to learn what I can for the remainder of the quarter about Afro-futurisism so I can become a better analyzer of media I consume.

#black literature #afrofuturism #masego

[firedrakegirl]

I stared tiredly up at the now shattered Stark tower, before taking a breath and heading inside. The fighting had literally just stopped, but something was pulling me in…something needed me. I’d learned to follow those pulls. They’d never steered me wrong. I walked up and up and up, all the way to the floor where Ironman had been thrown through the window. There…the reason for everything. I knew instantly upon seeing the green clad god that it was all his fault. “You absolute asshole.” I stormed over to where he was lying on the ground, clearly in pain. “What did you do to me?” Despite my tone, I was gentle as I started looking him over for more than bruising, carefully removing his armor and tunic. “Roll over, let me see your back.”

“Who are you?” He did, and there was something….right about the fact that this being who didn’t trust anyone was giving me his back.

I hissed in sympathy at the mottled bruising that was getting worse even as I watched. “What hit you?”

“I believe he is called the Hulk.” Green eyes looked over his shoulder at me with curiosity.

“Then I think you’re lucky. From what I know, he’s stupidly strong. I’m gonna go find you some ice for the swelling so you can at least move a bit more easily.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m the person who’s been dreaming about you for years. Didn’t know it was you til now though.”

Confusion then understanding dawned in his eyes. “I did a spell, a very long time ago. I always thought it failed.”

“What kind of spell?” I stood and headed toward the half ruined bar.

“Someone to be by my side as my brother should have been.” His voice was soft, vulnerable. I froze.

“Well then.” I gathered some ice and brought it back to him after a moment. “Guess I’ll do that then. Everyone deserves someone by their side.”

He struggled to sit up fully then smiled at me. It was a small, sad thing. “Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.” I nodded, smiling back. “I know a little of what you’ve been through. I have your back.”

He laughed and rested his forehead against mine….then all of the sudden…

I was so different from everyone around me. Bright gold hair and muscles were everywhere, even my brother, but I was long and lanky with dark hair.  I didn’t have the muscles, but I so wanted to be like my amazing older brother. Mother did her best to teach me the best ways to fight while being small, and it worked! I could almost keep up on the training grounds, without my magic! Mother taught me magic too, helping me learn and grow and nurturing my interests in a way no one else did.

I learned and grew and idolized my brother. father told us we were both meant to rule as he told us stories of the glories of past wars.  Brother and I

Brother gained new friends, the warriors three. They had another hanger on, a girl, Sif. I thought maybe we could be friends because we were both so different. It was not to be, as she took more after my golden brother. One would think she was his sibling rather than me. That was okay. I was just grateful he and his friends let me tag along. They liked it more when I could help them thanks to my magic.

Brother told me magic wasn’t a manly thing to do. It’s always amused him though. But…I suppose Asgardians are more about the muscle, aren’t they. I tried to build muscle like he did, but it didn't work. I got better with throwing knives, learning to strike before anyone realized I was even there. It was considered cowardly, but I didn't have the sheer strength of the other Aesir. Decades of adventures and danger and being treated worse and worse led me to spending more and more time in the library until I found an old spell. The concept intrigued me. Forgotten sedir that would allow him to find that bond, that connection with someone that he'd once had with his brother before they grew apart so harshly. That bond he so desperately desired and craved, as the outcast of the royal family. No one in his life gave me that bond, and as time passed and I still lacked such a close connection to anyone, I gave the idea up as a failed experiment. Life continued, Thor's adventures and having to talk them out of danger, a few memorable moments of mischief, Thor in a wedding gown, Odin manipulating me into seducing a stallion, my first child ripped away before I could even get to hold him, rumors circulating, my brother becoming more of a stranger, secluding myself in the library more and more. Then the day of Thor's attempted coronation, trying to talk to the man I still thought of as my father about my concerns and being brushed off. Having to trick a couple Jotun into appearing in the Vault. Everything going so terribly, horrifically wrong. Heimdall committing treason, turning blue, Thor's banishment, learning about being adopted, Father falling into the Odinsleep, being the temporary king, Thor still managing to cause trouble, Heimdall committing treason again, Laufey, the fight on the bifrost, falling....falling falling...pain, so much pain. a blue jeweled scepter, new thoughts and ideas, preparing to lead and army to Midgard, the defenders, the green beast, then a human, covered in dust and bruises, calling me an asshole with soft eyes and gentle hands as she helped and...oh. That bond was so much better than I ever thought it could be.

I opened my eyes again as myself and smiled at Loki. "You are so amazing."

"W-What?"

"You are amazing. You've experienced so much and done so much and are just amazing." I pulled him into a close hug, squeezing him tightly. "I'm so proud of you." For a moment, Loki was stiff in my hug before utterly melting, burying his face in my shoulder. It wasn't long before I felt my shoulder growing damp as he cried. I just held him tightly and hummed softly and off key to whatever showtunes were in my brain.

"Don't leave?" His voice was so much smaller than it should have been, thick with tears and the pain he'd been dealing with alone for far too long.

"Never Loki. You're mine." I assured, stroking his hair. "I'm not leaving your side, as long as I live."

"You'll live a very long time now." He muttered, starting to pull himself off of me.

"I know. And you'll live a much shorter time. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. I'd rather a short life with someone who truly cares than a long one without."

"I know." It was weird to know all these things I hadn't before. "I love you, big brother."

"And I love you too, Sister."

"You need rest. I'd say let's go somewhere but..."

"But I attacked the city and need to atone for the crimes I committed."

"And I think you're too worn out to actually do anything to protect us if we ran."

"Indeed." He sighed and laid back into the hole created by the Hulk. "At least this spot is exactly the right size."

I winced at the feeling of rubble pressing into bruises. "I'll grab the cushions from the couch. It'll be better for our back."

"Good thinking."

"I'm used to caring for bruises."

"I've noticed. I'm not exactly sure how you've managed to live this long."

"Oh, don't worry. You're not the only one wondering that." I laughed, pulling ruined cushions off a couch that probably cost more than I made in a year.

"You should sleep too." He snagged them easily as I tossed them over.

"I'll be fine. I want to make sure no one tries anything while you're out of it." I helped him tuck the cushions behind him so that he could rest more comfortably.

"We're tied closely enough that I don't know you'll have a choice."

I hummed my agreement, curling up next to him. "Either way, I'm staying here and doing my best to protect you."

"Puny mortal." He teased, gently stroking my hair.

I lightly slapped his chest before resting my head over his heart. "Silly god."

"Trix are for kids?" I could feel the sleep pulling at our consciousness.

"Mmhm. Sleep hun."

"K..."

#Fire’s writings and drabbles #loki #marvel mcu #au #self insert #AU after the avengers #back to 2012 avengers fic #old tropes #chaos #more about fun than canon #character Fire #not to be confused with real person Fire #fanfic

[blackjackkent]

4 and 9 for Lae'zel

8 and 20 for Astarion

Just to switch things up a bit, haha

(Character ask game!)

4. Lae'zel - If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Hm. Interesting question (and highlights how little I get around to seeing movies these days).

I would be intrigued to see Lae'zel interact with Klingons in Star Trek. She is - to the extent that Forgotten Realms has the concept - an alien herself, so she wouldn't be out of place among Trek's cast of characters, and I think the gith and Klingon cultures are just similar enough (warrior race, concepts of honor/duty) without being identical that the interaction would be quite entertaining. :D

9. Lae'zel - Could you be roommates with this character?

Could I be roommates with her? Sure. :D I suspect she would be a good influence on me in the realms of discipline and health, she is very subtly hysterical and probably amusing to get drunk with, she would never be late with her portion of the rent, and she wouldn't take it personally when I occasionally needed to be left the fuck alone. Plus if I was lucky, she'd like the cut of my jib and I, unlike Hector, would not "choose banality". ;)

Could she be roommates with me? Absolutely not. I would be dead within a week when she realized I'm a massive nerd who would unironically infodump at her without prompting and also that I leave stuff laying around everywhere in a mess for no reason.

I think she and my cat would have an entertaining relationship however.

8. Astarion - What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

While I truly, deeply, and fervently believe that everyone can have whatever headcanons they like as long as they're not hurting anyone else, I personally cannot really get behind the idea of Astarion being a soft/romance-y sort, especially not during/immediately after game. The man is a dick! It's a really important foundational aspect of his character.

Disclaimer: I love Astarion, I think he's a fantastic character, and also I haven't finished his romance run yet, so maybe there is nuance here I'm unaware of. However... I think it is a disservice to his character's depth NOT to acknowledge that he is a dick, and that his dickishness is the product of a several-hundred-year-long campaign to eliminate any sense of overt compassion or vulnerability in him. That he is able nevertheless to connect with an LI/friends and start to move past that programming is a powerful thing, but it deserves to be treated as something that does not come easily to him, that it has to be worked at, and that someone who cares about him has to learn how he expresses these emotions in his own way.

I did like that post that has gone around a bit, about how it's much more likely that Astarion would respond to being treated with kindness with all the subtlety and acceptance of a cat being dragged to the vet for shots. XD

20. Astarion - Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Hmmmmm. [ponders, looks at BG3 character list] My initial inclination is to say Karlach, though this feels like kind of a copout answer because Karlach is a good friend to EVERYONE because she is a sweetheart and also the best. I do think she's a good candidate though, because she is very much the sort to be kind to him regardless of whether he's a dick to her in return. And, more specifically, as I pondered quite a bit in this post, the two of them actually have quite a bit in common, in terms of having been trapped in situations where they had to do terrible things to survive and had no reason to think they would ever be able to get out. I think it would take a long time for Astarion to acknowledge this, if he ever did, but I'm pretty sure Karlach understands it right off the bat.

#bjk talks #ask meme #astreamofstars #:D ty for the prompts! <3